Aye, there's the rub! Everything we do in LD training is focused on "cracking open" memory and/or self-awareness while dreaming to the point where we realize we're dreaming. How is this done? Tons of tutorials and introductory courses on this site offer the details. In short: increase self-awareness and memory ability in waking life, perform RCs (reality checks) regularly throughout the day. If you make a habit of questioning your state (dreaming? awake?) in waking life, eventually this will seep into your dreams and you will question your state and become lucid. It is hard to believe that this works, but it does. My second DILD came through realizing I was in a situation that was dream-like (couldn't pick up something I'd dropped), and ZING! I realized I was dreaming. I was in shock for several seconds after becoming lucid, "you mean I've been dreaming all this time!?!?", it felt so *real* up to that point, so I know what you mean.
So just trust to the tutorials and classes. If you haven't signed up yet for a course or two in the DV academy section, I highly recommend doing so. There's a lot more to it than my quick summary (dream timing, WBTB, sleep schedule, dream journaling, expectation & intention, positive attitude, and so on...)
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