CasperKid

Dream 1-- High School Reunion

I 100% understand now that seeing anyone from my high school or being on that campus is a definite dream sign. The next time I see these things, I will become lucid and reality check.

In this dream, I am outside with all the other people from my grade and some younger. It's like everyone that I've ever known is there. We are sitting down in these metallic chairs and the moms/teachers are having us do these various activities. I remember seeing J. and Jeff Perkins and Giancarlo.

The dream is relatively long, but once again my WILDing journey is putting me in this situation where I am losing sleep, my dreams get more vivid and realistic, but my recall is diminishing. I'm trying to even this whole thing out but its relatively difficult since I'm only on day 4. I will get this down though!

In one part of the dream, we all stand up and get in a line to play a game that apparently we all know. The teachers call out some category of character like "Thief" and then we all have to complete some action. Most people don't know the action, and just sit down, but I try to play along like I know exactly what's going on, and it's me and two other people who don't get eliminated.

We move to the front of the line, right in front of some door. I'm last in the line behind Giancarlo, and a sophomore who always used to talk to me. They call out another category, and we have to sing a rhyme, which I don't know at all, and then strike this specific pose. I can't do either, but everyone else messes up as well, so we all lose.

Then I turn around and I'm PassObs, I see my crew coach trying to load a bunch of gear into the boat. He takes this huge load at first, but can't handle it all so he walks back. I'm not looking around or moving or trying to help. I'm literally like a stable tripod that is taking a consistent picture of the scene, but I have a lot of thoughts that personalize the situation. I'm thinking about helping him and calling out to him and making my way over to him, but then I contradict myself and keep myself sitting still and not doing anything.

He comes back with two wooden oars, and a megaphone. He walks all the way down this wooden dock to his white boat, and then drives off.

Dream 2-- Sexin Sydney

I only knew this girl because she the girlfriend of one of my friends. I can't say the girl in my dreams was actually this girl, but she is the closest resemblance in my head.

She and I are in this room together. There is a giant bed with nice sheets on one side of the room and these huge glass windows on the other side. It's a relatively small room, but all we really care about is the bed. We talk for a little bit, but then things start getting hot and heavy. I know I have a boner, and she starts rubbing it, and it feels really good. She takes off my pants, and starts BJing me, but then this thought enters my head like 'if she keeps doing this for too long, I'll end up cumming too soon' so I push her head off of me, but then another thought enters my head like 'if I don't penetrate her soon enough, I will lose my erection and everything will be totally messed up.

So I quickly try to take off some of her clothes, pants first. I get those off and already notice i'm losing my hard-on. This is kinda disappointing me because I really want to F this girl, especially in a dream! One of my goals is to have dream-sex, lucid or not! I'm totally limp, we can't do it. I'm disappointed, she's disappointed. And then she makes a comment about how we shouldn't have smoked weed before this and how weed will do that to me. At first, I didn't even remember smoking weed, but then I felt totally guilty and stupid because I probably had smoked weed and that I had known that weed could do this to me and was most likely the culprit.

So we just lay together for a bit. We talk a little, but I feel a surge of thoughts rush into my head, and I turn PassObs relatively quickly. She is next to me, and I'm not saying anything or what I'm saying is kind of hurtful. She moves a little bit away and now I feel super awkward and I'm beating myself up for not being able to F her and smoking weed and saying the wrong thing. I want to cry, but instead I just wake up.


Hazy recall tonight, my ability to fall asleep and stay asleep is getting worse. Maybe I need to read some more articles or just relax about the whole WILD thing

Dream 1-- Gettin Girls with my Grandad

So it's me, my dad, my grandfather, and my grandmother. We are walking around some place that isn't distinct. There isn't much going on in this dream. Basically we walk the same path over and over, as if it's like a level in Mario that you keep playing until you win.

In this path, I find different girls every time and it's like I approach them really easily and casually, with confidence that they will just want to talk and we will get along. We talk for a little bit and then I bring the girl up to my dad at first. I say "Jeff, Sarah, Sarah, Jeff" they shake hands and then my dad makes the whole situation awkward. I have this feeling like I did the whole thing wrong that I if I could do it over again I would do it better.

Restart the level.

We are walking again and I see this really attractive blonde girl. I walk up to her and we start talking. I then bring her up to my dad and do the "Jeff, girl, girl, Jeff" routine. And the same thing happens. This time when I go through the sequence though, I notice that my grandfather is with us and could provide an alternative approach to the problem. It's like I'm in Ender's Game, where I keep replaying this level and trying new things.

Restart the level.

We are walking and I spot this amazing brunette. We start talking, and there isn't even anything going wrong when I talk to the girl. She and I are getting along really well and I'm like introducing her to my Grandfather just to seal the deal in a way. So I walk over to my granfather, and his face looks tanner and darker than usual. His teeth are more golden and it's like his face is almost blotting out the sun from the angle I'm looking at him. It's glorious and weird simultaneously. Anyway, I do the whole introduction but this time its "Mel..vin, girl, girl, Melvin." They shake hands and my grandfather starts teasing her and having a good time with her, it's great! He's the best wingman ever.

I think this represents how I see my dad/grandad in real life. My dad is socially awkward most of the time and doesn't handle conversations with attractive women very well. Instead, he will just gawk at them from afar and comment at how beautiful they are. My grandad, however, is the most social person ever. He will just talk to whoever is in front of him. I know he is cool and outgoing, and my subconscious obviously agrees! Awesome, now I have gathered some more information about how I feel.

Dream 2-- Playing Chess with the Wrestling Team

So, I used to play Chess. A lot. It was my main passion for about 2 or 3 years. I would go to tournaments and they would all follow basically the same format. There would be a bunch of people just spread out across a wide open room. They would set up a line of chess boards over these white tables, and there would be two chairs on either side. It was always the same.

In this dream, I'm playing chess against somebody I can't remember, but I'm 99% sure he was from my high school, which is a DreamSign I can't seem to remember to RC when I see!! He pulls out this black clock that has a little screen, and he obviously doesn't know how to use it or what the rules are. He tells me to set it for thirty minutes, so I set it for 20 each and tell him we will get 10 extra minutes at a certain time in the future. It didn't make sense at all, but he bought the excuse.

We start playing, and as we are playing, the pieces disappear. This reminds me of when I used to play mental chess, where you had no pieces on the board but you would just write down moves to double-check what move it was, etc. So, the dream seems to fast forward to this really weird position, where his king is in the corner. I can't tell where my pieces are or what to do, so I take a really long time thinking about the situation. I'm trying to checkmate him, but as I analyze the situation there doesn't seem to be a move.

I look over at the clock and I have 11 seconds, so I immediately make a move that wasn't thought out. Suddenly we move to differently table and the pieces reappear. My opponent then takes one of my pieces, but the move was totally illegal. I call him out on it and it doesn't understand so I stop the clock, which hit zero on my time, raise my hand and call over a TD. This was classic procedure during a tournament.

The TD walks out of thin air, and happily listens to my request. The opponent moved one of my pieces and should be DQed or have to take his move back and I get more time. The TD says I'm right with a little laughter.

I look back and the chess set it gone. Instead, there are members of the wrestling team all sitting around in various spots along the table in front of me and on the right hand side of the room. Apparently they are serving dinner, and I know full well that I won't be having any somehow. As they each come out, one by one, with their plates we all comment on the size of their meal. All of these people are in my high school, which is my largest Dream Sign, GRR!! Alex Chuka, who isn't on the team, has a large pastrami sandwich and a bunch of mac n' cheese on his plate. Will Hicks, who also isn't on the team, has a lot of meat on his plate. There are more but I don't remember any specifically except this one baldish kid who was always really intense and didn't talk much. He got a moderate amount of food, and sat down right next to me.

The whole time I was jealous everyone got to ate but I was also adamant in not eating food and resisting the temptation. Maybe I'm thinking about how I had to cut weight when I was on the team or how I'm on a diet now, either way the whole self-restraint thing was brutal. I went Passive Observer at this point.

Dream Fragment 3-- Lower School Quizzes

So I'm back in Lower School, and I'm taking these quizzes that don't make any sense to me. I think this is the first dream I've ever had where I actually attempted to do math problems. I'm in lower school, but the quiz has Calculus questions on it, but I don't register that as weird. I'm taking the quiz and I get stuck on this one problem that has three options for answers.

I look at the problem, and back at the answers, and back and forth. As I keep switching, in hindsight I can see that the answers would change as I kept understanding the problem better and got a better idea for what the correct answer would be. One answer turned into something that was blantantly wrong, so I could stratch it off the list. The other answers remained possibilities, but I remember finally coming to an assured conclusion after maybe 3 minutes of trying to solve it.

I think this is a classic example of how text will shift and move when you look at it twice. I didn't pick up the dream sign though. I really need help figuring out how to actually notice my dream signs while I am dreaming! I can see them all afterwards, but that doesn't help!!

My dream recall was kinda shoddy tonight. I'm trying to do a WILD technique but when I wake up I can't fall back asleep for like an hour!! My roommate breathes really loud and there is the noise coming from the road right outside my dorm room. Either I need ear plugs or maybe I am just not completing the transition phase correctly. I'm going to read up on WILDing today.

Last night I had the most amount of dream and the longest dreams that I've had in a long time. On average, my dreams lasted about 30 minutes and they all were very complex and compelling in hindsight.

Dream Fragment 1-- Movies

So I'm walking down an open hall, it's almost like a bridge in a tall building where there are glass boundaries with steel poles on top. There are 5 college/frat guys who I know that are leaning against this pole on the right side and looking over the edge. I know that I walking towards a movie and I feel really confident in my stride somehow.

They are looking at me and I don't instantly go passive observer, which is awesome. Instead, I just keep walking, but I recognize that they are superior to me or something mentally so when I walk by them I drop my ID card in the police on purpose/accident I can't tell which and then say out loud "I dropped my ID card in the trash can." They all laugh but I remain unreactive and fish out my card without even really looking.

After I get the card, I walk inside and sit in the back of the theater with my longobard in hand. This is really similar to what happened during a recent movie screening a went to. I sat in the back alone while there were a bunch of people around me. In the same way, there were a whole lot of people in the theater I walked into, but I ended up sitting alone in the back. The screen started playing and I got totally captivated in the movie and turned passive observer, which is a main dream sign and occurs usually when I
1) enter conversations
2) watch a movie or play a video game
3) Feel self-critical
4) STop focusing on being aware

So the movie play and it's a scene where there are two cops driving a car. It's a red car and the police are having a discussion about donuts, this leads me into my second dream.

Dream 2-- Donuts, Sugar, and my Dad's Office

Somehow I am in my dad's office building now, but it's not the actual building. It's just a made up place in my head. The DCs are my dad, this one extra guy who I can't remember specifically but I feel like I knew him in my dream, and me. We walk toward my dad's office, and the guy next to me is eating a donut and drinking coffee. I'm on a diet right now, and so I'm rying not to eat superfluous carbs like that. I end up doing a forward roll, like in Ninjitsu.

The move ends up being in some sort of slow motion, where I get really close to the ground, and can see this white powder, which might be powdered sugar or donut glaze, on the ground. It's everywhere, then I slowly roll up and walk behind my dad and the other guy. When we enter my dad's office, there are two brown desks that have some papers scattered around on them. In a way, it resembles what his old office used to look like but there are no windows and it looks a lot messier.

The guy decides to walk past the desk, and I'm analyzing the situation in passive observer mode thinking about where I should sit, what it means to sit where, and how I want to be better than this other guy. But I decide to sit down in front of the desk, and there are 2-3 blank white sheets of paper and a pen next to me, and a chair.

I don't sit, but I don't see the other DCs either. I've noticed that an aspect of my passive observer sometimes contains me not even being able to experience or perceive the outside world. Even though I am present in the dream still, I am massive caught up in my thought process. I can hear the words of my thoughts and feel some of the emotions that it sparks, but ultimately I don't see much, feel much, or say much.

This dream ends here.

Dream Fragment 3-- Beachin with Dean and Austyn

So I know this is part of a much larger dream that lasted about an hour last night. It was probably the longest dream I kept conscious for in my whole life, but I had this dream after I tried to WILD so maybe that makes sense. Sadly, though, I can't remember the whole thing, so I'm posting the fragments that stand out to me the most and I feel are pretty significant.

Anyway, I am on the beach alone, and I've been here before in the same dream. I walk with a sense of purpose, like I know where I am going. I head toward the water where there are a bunch of people laying on beach chairs, and I look around. I see Dean laying down to my left and then Austyn laying down to my left two chairs down from Dean.

So I walk to my left, and start walking directly for Austyn. I had been trying to hook up with this girl for 3 years. We made out once in 9th grade but then I went too far and she got scared/started crying, so we broke off the relationship. Then she got with one of my closer friends, and they ended up dating for 2 years, and she fell in love with him. She would always cry to me about how much she loved her and I always wanted her back.

So I am approaching her, and I see her face, it looks really beautiful, but she shakes her head and mouths the word "No" as if she can totally read my mind. When I see this, I turn to Dean, who I'm standing right next to at this point and say "Sup." He greets me pretty warmly and we chill for alittle bit. He has this huge bottle of vodka out next to him and he's mixing his cup with it. I can tels he's a little drunk.

Soon, a cop wearing a tannish uniform comes up and says "Hey, what did I tell you about things like this" and Dean just drops down, fills up a cup with the vodka and says "Here is some water" and the cop smiles and says "thank you" and that's the end of that fragment.

Dream Fragment 2-- Exploring The Unknown Dorm

So this dream is really vibrant and interesting. I am walking in my normal dorm, when I find this door I had never gone through before. I go through it and it leads me to this darkish hallway. I'm travelling alone, so I decide to just keep walking because I'm sure that it will lead me somewhere cool that no one else has been to.

After a little ways, I stumble upon what looks like an art gallery. There are large black columns spread out in the wide open greyish room. I can see everything clearly. The paintings are really colorful and amazing. There aren't very many people around so I start to look at the drawings. They really intrigue me, and I start talking to this one girl about them. I don't think our conversation lasts very long. I start walking forward, toward the other end of the hall. I find another hallway and travel in it all the way around until I reach my dorm again.

I start talking to all of my friends and people in my dorm about this new place that I've found, I think I'm doing it to make myself look cool though and not actually add to their experience.

Dream Fragment 4-- Conversation with Chris

So I am in my dorm room, and it is legit my dorm room. Everything is laid out the same. I answer my cell phone and it's Chris Eubank, who I used to be really close to. He gave me tours and showed me around when I was a senior in high school. He let me stay in his room.

Anyway, we are on the phone for maybe 10 minutes just chatting. I don't know if I'm in passive observer or not, but I'm shuffling through my clothing drawers and trying to talk with him at the same time. I feel like this conversation is a test or something to see how well I can keep up a conversation and I am horribly failing. There will be these long, drawn-out pauses between surges of speech.

I can't really think of anything to say as we are talking, and I am trying to keep myself busy and not stress out by shuffling through clothes without any real purpose. At least talk and we converse about some party or something that we are going to do later. I can tell now that I am really overthinking my conversations with people, and constantly stressing about what they think of me and if I am doing the right thing or the cool thing or whatever.

My speech should be an expression of ME from my HEART, not a tool to measure my coolness.

Dream Fragments 5/6-- Listening to Mooji

I've a very spiritual person, and I like to listen to Satsangs on youtube while meditating because they have seriously brought me to a new level of consciousness. I don't even need to be present at these extraordinary learning events, and I can meditate on their meaning without distraction while they are occuring.

I was doing this for a while yesterday and last night before I went to sleep, which apparently had a deep impact. Two separate times when I was dreaming, I had totally silence and was just listening to the words Mooji was saying. In the first scene, I am watching another youtube video and seeing him and listening. He is talking about how you can figure out what you are by eliminating what you are not. It goes something like.

"And the emotions you feel. You are not even this. Yes
And the thinking in your head. You are not even this. Yes"

He keeps listing things and I slowly realize he is totally right! I am becoming enlightened even in my dreams!!

The second time I hear his voice is when I am in the car with my mom. My family had just exchanged presents earlier, and I got two CDs from my sister. Me and my mom are driving and decide to put in one CD. The first track is a techno song that I think is from Hard Haunted, which is a concert I attended two weekends ago. The second track was Mooji, speaking with clarity again.

He starts talking about everything "I AM" and I can no longer remember his words exactly, but this is ok because I know the words are there on a deep and unconscious level, influencing me and helping me find the truth without me even needing to do anything!

Dream Fragment 7-- Family Gift Exchange

Me and my family, which is my two older sisters, my mom, and my dad are gathered in our downstairs den to celebrate some holiday(its almost TDAY) and we are exchanging presents. This is when my sisters gives me the two orange CDs.

We are all exchanging gifts, but suddenly I realize I had no given a gift to my oldest sister Hayley, and I feel really really bad. I feel like I have totally disregarded her and not paid any attention at all to her. I think this resembles how I feel in real life, where I don't have a substantially strong relationship with her as opposed to all the drama and substance in my other relationships.

I feel like my subconscious is really telling me to reach out to Hayley and make her my best friend ever because she is my sister and she loves me and I love her too. I feel that void and I want to fill it.

I should get her a gift!

I feel like I dreamt so much more and had so much more to say at the outset of this DJ but 7 dream fragments is certainly a lot anyway

Dream 1-- Home Training with Ninjas and Cats

This dream starts out in a miscellaneous location that I cannot recall off the top of my head. What's happening is that me and the other "ninjas" in Ninjitsu are doing drills by lining up and then all completing the same technique, then running to the back of the line. I don't remember actually completing any technique, but I remember looking at the line, and watching people do it. I remember looking at Sensei, standing with his arms crossed and not looking particularly impressed by anything that was going on.

Suddenly, the drills are still going on, but now they are in my house-back-in-Dallas's kitchen. I think there was this white ladder-like thing that people had to climb before they could perform the technique. I sat down in a chair, eating some chips while they all did the technique because I didn't want to stand in the line, but I was still prepared to have my turn I think.

After a while, the scene changes again, and all the people are gone, it ends up being night time, and there is black cat rubbing up against me. Now, I have a cat in my house, but she is orange and white striped. When this black cat starts touching me, I turn into what I have deemed "passive observer." This state is a crucial dream sign for me and is basically where I no longer identify with a body or actually do much of anything. Instead, I am just thinking about what is going on and watching the dream as if it were a movie that I have no control over or stake in.

So, this cat rubs up against my leg, and I use my hand to pet its head. I get this thought that's like I wonder if cats like to be handled this way and what would be the best way for someone to pet me if I were a cat. So I stop petting the cat and it rubs up against my leg again, presumably to get pet again. I am thinking now about why I would rub up against someone's leg if I were a cat (my dreams can be super-analytical sometimes because that's who I am in real life). I don't do anything and the cat remains unmoving, while still contacting my leg, for about 4 seconds, realizes it won't get pet, and then walks away.

Then, it comes back with two other cats in tow. This part of the dream is really confusing, because I was semi-playing with the cats, and they randomly became kind of hostile. I think this dream brought me back to my childhood where I would mess around with and abuse my cat.

I try to incorporate my dreams into my real life because I think they are intimately connected. I try to find those connections within my dreams and see what my subconscious is trying to get me to remember or do in the future.

Anyway, I'm still in my kitchen and these three cats are just walking around. I have a blanket and I playfully throw it over one so that it is completely covered. I have done this to my cat many times, and it would freak out, and sprint up the staircase to hide under a bed. I found this really funny at the time but looking back it was pretty abusive and silly.

So in the dream, the cat doesn't really find that amusing. I take a hold of the blanket again, and the cat starts walking toward me. For some reason I have this thought that the cat is being hostile, so I start backing up until I back up into a wall. The cat continues to approach me so I raise the blanket up to my neck to protect myself. The cat, who looks like a male version of my cat at home, starts to get up on his hind legs and climb the blanket with his front paws. I start to get scared about what would happen and that this cat could potentially claw the shit out of my face.

I think at this point I wake up.

Dream 2-- Detention in the College Kitchen

This dream was rather long, but I can only remember bits and pieces of it.

The general setting is that I am in a cafeteria, and I am serving detention for I don't know what. There are DCs that all seem to me to be relatively dumb but also surprisingly cool. As in, I become a passive observer by analytically assessing the situation and determining that I am not as cool as everyone around me and I'm trying to notice their movements/gestures/words so that I can copy them in the future. I don't really DO much of anything in this dream except observe while the action happens all around me. In my opinion, it's not awful because I'm really interested in figuring how I see the world, but at the same time it serves as a constant reminder about who I am in real life because I will totally zone out during conversations or parties just because I'm so caught up in my head.

Anyway, enough about my problems this is a DJ. So, I am in this large cafeteria with brown tables and yellow walls. It doesn't remind me of any place in particular, but definitely looks like a cafeteria. The first DC I run into is this guy with a buzz cut and a moustache. He reminds me of a thin version of Ryan from my Spanish class, who I don't really talk to except this one time where he brought up that he really likes to smoke weed. I guess it stuck with me.

Thinking about it, this dream is really scattered and fuzzy. The event that stands out to me the most is that there was this poster that someone gave to either me or my friend as a gift in the dream. It was a green poster board with magnets in the shape of dicks placed on it. There were three dick-magnets on the green posterboard, and the guy said that combined they managed to accurately point north or something.

There were marking on the posterboard and I wanted to measure it and figure out if it was legit. I took out a six inch ruler, which I apparently had in my hands, and starts to measure to angle of the distance between the dick-magnets or something. As I got more and more into it, I forgot what I was doing, and I would be blinking and seeing that more pencil would appear on the board even though I wasn't actually drawing anything. I thought the dick-magnets were really funny when I first saw them.

Dream 3-- Tim Jang and Frat Guys Make me Sleepy

This dream was short. It was night time and I was hanging out with Tim Jang, from my high school, and frat guys from college. I always feel out of place in these kind of dreams, where there is partying and alcohol and drugs just because I have abstained from them for the sake of trying to meditate and find my higher self.

So, they are smoking weed and are probably cross-faded at this point, we all walk into an apartment. I am totally passive observer at this point, and I am tired. I can recognize that I am tired because my thoughts feel really heavy and incoherent, my eyes are only 75% open. So I decide to lay down on the bed even though everyone else is still having a party and doing their own thing. I have regrets about doing this even in the dream but I feel like I have no choice because I am so tired and am not conversing with anyone anyways.

When I wake up, all the frat guys are gone but Tim Jang is there. I don't really understand where we are and I look down to see my Halloween costume, which was a large white board acting as my Fbook wall, totally covered in the marks from the guys. The board in my dream didn't really resemble the board of real life because it had two actual status updates from me, which I couldn't read. Something I've found interesting, though, is that text in my dreams is usually legible and will actually keep stable when I look away and look back if I am paying enough attention to notice.

So, I get a little sad/pissed off knowing that my board just got ruining and that I fell asleep when everyone else was having fun. Tim and I decide to walk back to the dorms, but I don't know where we are. We discuss it for a little bit, and then start to walk. Then I wake up.