The book of mars

my house is connected to a shed (in real life, too).
i walk thru the door to the shed and instead of a shed, there is a giant roller rink - esque room.
a few people including my friend lotie who i know online are using the space for some kind of party.
everyone's bodies are bumper cars but this is normal for this kind of get together.
to be here, you must have hot coco in your hand. i walk around for awhile with mine and never sip it so it gets weird looking and the whipped cream erodes into a rock mess on top of it.

i don't like it here so i go into my sun room and watch the people who are hanging out in my driveway, taking a smoke break from the party.
they all look at me weird because i own the house. whatever.
i go into the party room again later and there are a lot less people. i hang around a bit, it's not that bad.

i have a feeling a lot happened before this, but i cant remember any of it.

i am looking in first and third points of view simultaneously. i am looking at at a river swamp from the shore.

everything is bit and video game-ish. i have a shovel and decide to dig. i dig a spot of ice near the shore. marshmallows pop out. i dig a connecting hole, making the hole bigger. more marshmallows pop out. i dig up the whole ice spot at once! a thousand marshmallows float into the swamp.

by a dead tree i see a dolphin. i can ride him around to access the river. i ride him upstream.

i find the spot where the dolphins live and come from. there are a few of them. i try to hop onto another one but i miss and drown.

i get a game over and have to start back in ... kakariko village. fuck this game.

i'm in "real life" now. i was playing a video game on the same shore i am sitting on. i am hanging out with jack and heather. we each are sitting on a stump.

my friend celina calls me over from a mini party happening under a pavilion to my left. i walk up a small trail and hang out with her. i dance really weird because i hate everyone there. i'm making fun of them.

i go back to heather and jack. heather is gone and her sister is here instead. she tells me heather went to her room. ok.... i walk thru the forest trail and find a door like her real door connected between two trees. i open it.

heather is buying weed from a girl who's a big dyke and simultaneously black and white. most of the time she's black. i hear her say "21 g for 17". they notice me but dont care.

the black women gets her shit packed in a small black lunchbox tied around her neck. it has a 12.00 tag on it. she leaves.

heather is high. my whole body feels mad (i would be in real life as i'm a jealous person).

time warp to me walking around with my mom at night. she's high, too. we are dumpster diving.

i keep thinking "you shouldn't focus on heather, you should be-here-now" but the feeling is too intense and has to place in the current situation.

my mom wants to dumpster dive in back of mcdonalds (uh ew) but i say its open 24/7. we hang out near this big dumpster full of actual nice toys and things which shouldn't have been thrown away. i pick out a few good things.

dreamBirthday Party

I’m in the car with Pehry. He’s driving pretty recklessly with someone else in the front seat telling him to slow down. We take a sharp turn into my dad’s auto shop. The parking lot is full of tiny cars for children but exact versions of their bigger counterparts. I keep saying I want one, and then remember that I “have” one, a tiny tan minivan. It’s parked out back.

We get out and go into my dad’s shop. It’s a party inside; it’s my birthday! My family and friends are all inside. No one pays too much attention to me, but in my dream world this isn’t strange and I am content just walking around looking at the things in the shop.

I walk over to my Nana who is sitting around a turntable. There are old nursery rhyme records all stacked on it. I go through it and each one is colored and decorated with story elements: one is green with a frog, one is red with a pony, one is blue with a bear, etc.

My mom comes over to me and gives me a little ticket. It says “dunk house” and I interpret this as a ticket for me to go into one of those dunk booths at the fair. I quickly give it back to her, and she explains that my Nana is in the dunk house at the fair this year and with this ticket I can dunk her no matter if I hit the target or not.

Everyone keeps doing their thing at this mini-party and Autumn comes in from somewhere. She has her school bag, and I “know” that the door behind me connects to a few classrooms. Because she’s really big, everyone gets nervous and kind of moves towards the middle of the room to make room for her (she’s not THAT big).

She comes over to me and talks about missing a certain project that she’ll have to re-do.

“What? No, that project was that we had to listen to records in class. Why would you have to do that out of school? It’s so easy and dumb,” I say. She has her usual bad attitude and just shrugs her shoulders and says mean shit about everyone around us.
Someone outside is driving a specially-made car.

“Isn’t that the car Marty made that runs off blood instead of gasoline?” I say.

“Yeah I know about Marty,” Autumn retorts as if it’s “cool” to know Marty and she wanted to make sure I knew that she knew about him. We talk about how the problem with the car is that the blood soaks through the seats and stuff so your clothes get bloody and you can’t keep papers on the seats and stuff like that.

Fragment

I walk into a really small classroom. There’s a substitute teacher (who is an actual teacher at a school I went to) and a chocolate cake sitting on the only table in the room.

“Fuck yeah!” I say as I come in and sit down. The kids behind me are excited too: cake and a substitute. I have déjà vu (or perhaps I dreamed this before, or perhaps a dream memory) that I had been to this class and had cake before.

I get a little embarrassed because I don’t know how to sit without being too close to anyone. Kate (a…friend of mine) is here. We all take big slices of cake and talk about dumb things.

We have a project to do in class: listen to a few certain records. The teacher changes from the substitute to my old U.S. History teacher.

Fragment

Jack, Heather and I are looking through a big dumpster of metal scraps, looking for good pieces to put into a trash compactor. We are having a lot of fun doing this.

Fragments of Fragments

• A room made of zebra print. Not painted over or wallpapered, but the structure is the patterns of zebras.
• I check a letter written to Morpheus, looking for a response. I go through sheet after sheet, looking for markings.
• I go downstairs and make myself toast.

Shared Dreaming

Halloween Party

Heather, Tyler and I live in my old house. It’s early morning, like three a.m. or so. Tyler and Heather decide to go outside for a walk and a little adventure. I am getting some layers on because it’s cold out but they’re already out the door. I yell at them and they don’t stop, so I have to run up to them to catch them.

We are walking around and it seems to be Halloween. There are kids everywhere and a stop sign has a plastic decorative ghost-stop sign decal taped over it. I want to make the O of it into an eyeball, so I take a permanent marker out of my pocket and “grow” tall enough to vandalize it quickly. I can’t “ungrow” so I’m tall for a long time. (Heather dreamed that there was a person that was very tall all throughout her dream).

We discuss which way to go and we think about downtown which in my dream-mind’s eye looked how it does when I dream of it, as if the area is semi-static on the dream plane.

There is no transition that I remember, though both of these fragments "feel" as if they are part of the same dream.

I am dumpster diving behind Tyler’s apartment with Marilyn Manson as a teenager. We go through one of the back doors of the restaurants that line the brick wall of dumpsters. On the other side is a big house party. I feel completely lost among Marilyn Manson fans and gothic kids. I walk around the place and the living room is Heather’s living room.

Heather is laying on her couch taking up two spaces; Adam is sitting on the third space. I go over and lay on Heather, so relieved to have her here when I thought I was alone. She gets red and starts getting up, pushing me off of her. She’s embarrassed to be with me in front of Adam.

I’m sick of that feeling so I walk into the kitchen and start eating cupcakes. Dylan, my ex-boyfriend is at the party. I decide to take revenge on Heather by telling him we can go out again. He is ecstatic, to a point where I am annoyed. It’s not worth it. The whole time I am at the party, he’s trying to say things to me to make me really love him again.

I take him outside, where it’s still dark out (though hours have seemed to pass).

“I can’t two-time Heather like that,” I say. I try to break up with him and it’s really difficult, only because I know that he will feel like shit after I do. I realize he’s in college and get weirded out for some reason, so it’s easier. I break up with him again and go back into the party.

It’s mostly over, as if I had been gone for a long time and it’s now morning. Almost everyone’s gone. Marilyn Manson is yelling at his mom, and I give her a sympathetic glance. I “know” that he used to be nice to her but started to be mean as his persona grew.

I walk over to the second living room (not Heather’s). There are giant seats that sink in a lot. I sit in one and find a gold key that Heather wears. Instantly, I know that Heather made out with Adam in this chair. I text her “found your key”, which will let her know that I know what she did. I’m upset.

I look around the room. Everything is being picked up. A girl is throwing these giant cellophane carrots away. An extremely young version of my grandmother is picking up most of the trash and stuffing it in a trash bag.

She gets really upset that the girl is throwing the carrots away and starts yelling at her because they are full of “goodies”. I remember that my grandmother is a highly spiritual person and wonder why she is getting so upset, losing her temper over a trivial thing. She goes into another room to clean up there.

A few guys sitting around the breakfast table are talking about the newspaper mascot, Happy. It’s a black dog who is severely depressed.

“Never try to make Happy happy. Everyone knows he’s sad so it’s insulting to him,” one of the guys says. He gives me a page of the newspaper. I held the paper out about a foot in front of me. An article had been strangely bolded and unbolded and when you can see all of the words, the boldness of the letters reveals a black ink dog made of words. His tail was the darkest part.
I throw it into the trashbag. I see a few Jenny Lewis calendar posters, really quality black and white, thick paper. I start taking them out. A woman sitting in one of the deep comfy chairs starts talking to me about Waterville’s mascot, a parrot named Waterlou. (Heather had a dream about mascots.)

My grandmother walks out of the room and smiles at me. I see that her temper was very in the moment and she was easily brought out of it.