dream fragment

a long line of kids my age outside of my work place.
holy shit a gun? no- a lighter, no worries.
pehry passes joints around.
were gonna be here awhile.
moving along, all of a sudden i'm alone.
my surroundings have changed now that i "look up"
i'm in a borders books/clothing store, asking people where the line went.
dirty looks, still lost, think about taking small sketchbooks but i have a dream conscience.
we were supposed to see the abandoned building-
oldest submerged bathtub and dead bodies
(i can "see" what it looks like)

in an ice room. ice skating room...ice everywhere.
with my grandfather.
i touch the ice. "this is a dream"
not lucid. i just know.
touch it, break it, prove to myself.
laughing "this is a dream!"
but if i becoming lucid i "know" i'll wake up (would i have?)
so i don't.

heather's sister keeps texting me truthfully hurtful things, saying 'lol' after like it'd be any better.

i text her back saying how nice her tits are (they are).

i walk around a room looking for a vhs, stoned. my boss is here. i don't know what to do.

my house is connected to a shed (in real life, too).
i walk thru the door to the shed and instead of a shed, there is a giant roller rink - esque room.
a few people including my friend lotie who i know online are using the space for some kind of party.
everyone's bodies are bumper cars but this is normal for this kind of get together.
to be here, you must have hot coco in your hand. i walk around for awhile with mine and never sip it so it gets weird looking and the whipped cream erodes into a rock mess on top of it.

i don't like it here so i go into my sun room and watch the people who are hanging out in my driveway, taking a smoke break from the party.
they all look at me weird because i own the house. whatever.
i go into the party room again later and there are a lot less people. i hang around a bit, it's not that bad.

i'm in the ocean.
the beach was once a usual sandy spot, but the ocean ate it up.
now a lady and her husband sit on the only circle of sand, surrounded by ocean.
i am surfing without a board. i turn my body and the waves take me from the ocean to the sand spot.
it feels great. even though the beach disappeared because of a worldly disaster 2012 bullshit, i just go with it.

i am in a square room (normal). my whole class is lined up back-to the wall on all four sides.

we are taking turns reading our final projects out loud. we had to write/publish a poem that was as long as a book and printed in the same fashion.

i listen to a guy read his out loud. its plot follows a woman and her son.

my friend chellsye is next to me. i whisper for her to text heather because my phone died. they are good friends in my dream and she was already texting her.

outside of the room i am on a college campus. its a big field with little wood houses speckled around the area. there are tennis courts in the center.

i go to one house. these are like greek houses. i know a lot of bitches from my real high school are living here, but i am still curious as to what it looks like inside (i'm not sure if i want to go to this college or not)

there is a sign inside that says "9:00 pm sleep time/cannabis/meditation".

i think the world is closing in on me, on us.

i am in the middle of a body of water with some other people... my cousins, my friends.

no. i am in the middle of my first room in my first house. all of my things are of my childhood. i wear a flannel of thick thick denim that is too big for me. in the pocket is an icecream sandwich and two dollars.

now everyone's in a rush to get out of here. i pack a bag, i pack fiction.. no what does fiction do for you? nothing. i pack "be here now" and throw out two other books. i run around the house.

me and a lady know where to go... up the stairs but before we leave them behind, chime the first man. what does that even mean. i take my nails and search a wall and find a secret door. it opens vertically. inside, a man is playing piano. he disappears and i dont remember which notes to play. i dont play any.

the lady i'm with is frantic "we must play the notes!" "you do it then!" she does. we run up stairs to chime the second man.

now i am walking but instead of walking i swim through the air. i swim over to a pew, i am in a church that slopes up almost vertically like a movie theater, the last pews are the highest and the first ones closest to the pulpit are the lowest.

the lady is sitting on the pew with her father. she is nervous because she is practicing for mock trial. she has to be a mock lawyer as part of some class she's in.

"i took this class in high school" i said. "i was the time keeper." she calms down and asks me to get her something to eat. she wants an egg and cheese sandwich.

i walkswim all the way up the slope, curve around to the other side of the church and enter a doorway. i'm in line at dunkin donuts now, and if i look over the edge of where i am i can see the church. its kind of like a catwalk.

i search thru my pockets and find two dollars. i search thru the pockets of the denim jacket and find the ice cream (not melted) and three 10 dollar bills. i take them. i look again, they are three 30 dollar bills. i focus more. they are three 300 dollar bills. holy shit! i look closer....they are fake, they are bookmarks, they advertise a library. fuck you.

i get to the counter. i order it, and they give it to me immediately. a hand comes from out of a wall and hands it to me. i give the hand 2.25 and leave. i swim to the lady and give her her sandwich.

Dream Memory

I am riding my bike with Heather on the pegs. This is my "car", and in my dream it does feel like I'm driving a car. Somehow the pedals are the gas and break, it all works out. It's quite the illusion.

I drive into the parking lot of my local cinema (the scene is very realistic, everything is in place as it is in waking life). Heather talks to me about something on Youtube. I explain how I have dreams where a building will be a major internet site like Youtube, and even recall about a "dream" (I never had this dream, though- false memory) where the cinema in front of us was Youtube, embodied as a building.

I park my bike-car in a space and explain how sometimes I forget which pedal is the break and which is the gas. I then offer that Heather and I go to the south end part of town to see the big tent of wares (I had a dream once where I did visit this place, but it doesn't exist in waking life). We start to pedal away and I forget where it is. I get behind another "car" which is actually just Ken from 30 Rock sitting in the middle of the street. We go around him.

Hot Tea Fragment

I have a cup and pot of boiling water. It's really, really hot, the smoke is rolling out really thick. I pour it into my cup, but by the time the water is inside the cup, it has disappeared into water vapor. I keep trying to fill my cup but it doesn't work. Finally after several tries, I get enough for tea.

I turn around from the kitchen area to see a big circle of people. I sit down next to my friend Chase and set my tea on the ground by my chair. (Memory loss of whatever happens here)

Now I am in a dark auditorium full of everyone from school. I'm with Autumn. This scene lasts a long time as we converse with everyone. (Another memory loss )

Dream Graduation

I’m in school. Graduation is getting set up RIGHT NOW. Hallways are empty except me and a few other “left overs” who can’t graduate for whatever reason. I have a bottle of wine in my hand and start running and screaming: look at me! A cup manifests and I pour it, chugging the bottle and then the cup, bottle then the cup until I’m in the rotunda, drunk and everyone’s looking at me.

I follow some other left overs through dusty abandoned hallways so Mrs. L doesn’t see us and find us out. We all have this plan to graduate anyway so we go way up into the theater storage attic and try our best to hide ourselves. Me under a big blanket with someone and I’m drunk and my eyesight is like that of when I’m so tired I can’t keep my lids awake. So for most of it I do have my eyes closed and just listen under a blanket stacked on top of theater props so I almost touch the ceiling.

Someone tries to peep into the hallway and a little Asian girl who ate all her hair off (really) is the “hall monitor” for graduation sees that someone. She sends in this bulky girl, a real bully. She’s got a trick. She pulls the first kid she sees to her and licks that student’s lip, touches it and then taps her temple. She screams and falls down, not dead but just painful. She does another little trick to someone (pulls their lip ring over their nose!) and says she won’t tell Mrs. L. She’s gonna leave but first wants to show off another trick, looking for someone she pulls me over to her! No way, I hate pain (who doesn’t); she spins my chin into a tight spiral and every time I un-spin it a little, shit it hurts. But someone tells me there’s a trick to her trick and just un-spin it all at once: I do, and I feel just a little tug and I’m okay.

A few of us go further into the attic and we find that there’s a desk and under the desk is nothing, it’s a free-fall to the ice arena where they graduate so you can watch the whole thing. They’re almost ready! A teacher, Mrs. Smith (4’7 or something small!) sees us peeping and comes marching over. We all run out of the attic, oh too late, and Mrs. L is standing waiting for us.

She’s a lovely lady sometimes and says we can all graduate, so everyone puts their gowns on. I don’t have one. At the final door to the ice arena, its time to graduate, I don’t have a gown, but there’s a box with a white Freshman gown. I’m a sophomore in my dream (hey wait, why were all the different classes graduating instead of just the seniors!) and our color is green, so I’m a bit embarrassed. We walk out and I run over to Autumn so she can take my picture (it’s mandatory). When I get over to my class, they’re all wearing white and I’m the only one wearing green.


Lucid Awakening

I’m downtown, walking in a little drizzle. I plan on going to the community market to volunteer when I see a little nook between buildings with a candy store built in. It doesn’t have a door or a cashing machine, it’s just a bunch of glass jars with a ton of bright colored candy. I’m pretty delighted but wait! We don’t have a candy store downtown. And why is downtown so tiny? I’m lucid. I walk into the center of downtown (as I said, everything is tiny and compact, like 50 feet). I look around and notice:

This feels real. This is REALITY to me. Everything is solid and I am perceiving it just as I do waking life.

(This single lucid fragment has created something in me that has helped everything I've been doing dream-wise DRAMATICALLY. I understood before that dreams=reality while waking life=hazy and unreal while you're dreaming, but I never FELT and EXPERIENCED that completely. Now that I have, something has clicked. My reality checks take up to five minutes or more, not because I feel that more time is necessary or anything, but that's how long it takes me to discern my reality. REALITY has a new meaning. I become lucid more often (though write more in the hard copy of my dream journal, less on here). I thank my subconscious for letting me explore this feeling.)


Fragments

I make a sandwich for myself "when I wake up"- WHY WASN'T I LUCID?

Autumn and I are being obnoxious in school, so Heather leaves without saying a word to me. Crushing.
NOTE: Autumn told me today that she had a VERY SIMILAR dream, of her and I and Heather (who she has never met or talked to) all in a classroom.

Abandoned In the Tropics

I am on a stage with all of my friends and people I know. We are putting on some performance. I do whatever I can to not be seen by the stage, but everyone is looking at me anyways. I walk around big tanks of water. Eventually everyone is running off stage and I am the last to join them.

The stage exit led to a very small tropical island with everyone already on it.

The boat comes that will take us to shore. I don’t see it at first, and by the time I get to the little beach, everyone is on it except me and two guys named “Want” and “Need”. Everyone is laughing at us. They didn’t want us to come back.

I’m angry but not that I’m stuck; I’m angry that I they left me, that they didn’t like me to this extent and were willing to perhaps kill me. The entire journey from here on is me trying to get back to them.

A few hours later a boat comes by. He’s tugging along three or four jet skis. We holler at him and he says we can’t have them. We ask more and he finally gives us a red one, but it has no gas.



We all get on it and the waves are moving in the direction of the nearest island. We land on it and get off. On this island, there’s a small wooden deck and then a store. Behind a counter are several racks with beautiful handmade island clothing. No one seems to be around so I take whatever I like.

The owners come out and explain we can have whatever we want, they never get customers anyways. I’m relieved that they didn’t punish me for stealing.

Scene change. Want, Need and I are employed by someone as gold diggers. We are in cave sitting barely on top of the water. The ground beneath us is watery sand. To get the gold, all we do is find little gold pieces already shaped into coins and pick them up.

Aang, Katara and Toph from Avatar: Last Airbender come into the cave. They want to rescue us, because our employer doesn’t plan on coming back with his boat to get us this time. They have us search for a different kind of coin, one with a little black design on it. These are worth money somewhere else, where we will all be going. Momo, a winged lemur from the show, is here, too and in the corner he is making a little trail of gold coins.



“Is that what you think helping is?” Katara says.

We get a handful of normal coins and just three of the black design coins before we have to go. The ship we are getting on is mostly a big metal grate area with wooden walking areas on the side of it. To get on, we are kind of projected into the air. Toph starts yelling about a 10 piece gold coin in the grate but there is a sliding metal door to the boat that will make it unavailable if we don’t get it now.

When we land, they all run toward the 10 piece coin. I saw a little bit of it when I was in the air. They don’t get it in time. I see that the grate has pieces of things and coins all over it. Katara tells us to hurry and get all the coins we can out of the grate. Unfortunately, when I landed onto the boat, I landed on the wooden area on the sides.

The captain of the boat and their employer says he doesn’t take regular gold coins anymore: only the black design coins. All of my work collecting coins today was wasted, and I have only three coins to give him. He is unimpressed.


Scene change. I am on dry land in a kind of mini-mall area. Someone warns us not to spend the black design coins because they are worth more when certain people buy things with them. I have three still, so I must not have given them up to that captain. I walk into a store. In the mudroom area between outside and inside, Wolf (a girl I know in waking life) is laying on the ground. Her girlfriend Rae is with me. She gives a black design coin to her and we enter the store.

I look at everything and notice that if we bought anything, it would be extremely cheap with these coins compared to using the gold coins. We don’t buy anything.

Scene change. I am projected from some place in the store into a long hallway. At the end there is a room kind of. It has an eerie feel, like the show Invader Zim. It just feels off. Heather is here and making a toy car go on a track that’s running on the floor to the wall to the ceiling to the wall back to the floor. She says the wallpaper recharges the car so it can go forever.


Will Smith's House

I’m walking and I meet Will Smith’s daughter Emily Browning (obviously not related in waking life). She brings me to her house which is surprisingly right up the street from mine.

Inside, I sit down with her, her brother Liam Aiken (related in my dream because of their brother-sister roles in A Series of Unfortunate Events movie) and her little sister Willow Smith (actually his real daughter). His house is really disgusting and even my dream-self was surprised by this. All of the rooms are huge but filled with junk. The kitchen where we’re sitting in is really tiny and there are dirty dishes stacked everywhere.

We are all playing some kind of card game. I’m across from Will. He looks really old and totally stoned. I feel bad that he let his life go when he clearly had much more at one point.

We finish the game and he goes into his bedroom. The kids and I all go into the living room. To get there, we went through two rooms which both had giant fake white Christmas trees. In the living room I sit on their ratty couch. The place is gross in here, too. Emily sits next to me and we cuddle kind of. If I move closer to her, I can feel the thumps of Will having sex with his wife downstairs, so I can’t cuddle her any closer.

“So, rockstar?” Willow says to me, trying to judge who I am or what I am doing with these “famous” people. She implies that I’m probably trying to be someone famous but I’m not. Emily explains that I’m not a rockstar or anyone famous, and that I don’t particularly want to be either.

I get up and look around the house and find a more fancy suitable kitchen. A few of my friends stumble out, including my brother Holden and our friend Jamie. Jamie has always been kind of a hippy, but he’s really overdoing it in my dream. He has very long hair all braided and put on top of his head. He’s wearing some kind of hat that has blond hair extensions as well. We all go out of the house together.

Holden wants to go to Redbox to get a movie and I say I think they are open past 12. It’s 2 a.m. We start walking.

On the way home we run into three really fat and buff 12 year olds. I want to beat them up, so I egg them on. The leader who has some kind of miniature padlock in her septum comes up to me and starts trying to kick me. Holden comes over and uses his elbow to hit some spot on their heads and they all just pass out automatically.

“You have to learn the Child Beatdown in those situations,” he says, and explains the move to me.


Fragment

I am in some room. I have a cup full of hot chocolate powder and I begin pouring different flavored water into it from tiny tea pots in a circle around me. I spill some and Beth comes over and helps me.

While she's doing that, Katie, an old friend of mine who recently got divorced and is now having sex with everyone, comes up to me and Holden. She says she wants to fuck him, and he jokes about it but I tell him she's serious. He says okay finally, and they plan to do it at 5 p.m. I ask if she does ladies too, and she says sure, and I just wink.

Pug Genocide and the Obstacle Course

I’m on my street walking two dogs, a Pomeranian and a pug. I make sure to keep them walking on the right side of the road, and my dream-mind thinks of how much I like the direction of East. I have trouble keeping them out of the roads but I manage to take them to my destination: a big building with all the kids from school waiting in line outside. There’s something going on, but I don’t really know what. I notice that if I get in line, I’ll be waiting for hours. It’s extremely hot out, the peak of summer.

I see my Uncle Pat come at me from a distance. He has a shot gun. Suddenly I am being pulled to the ground. I can’t see anything and my dogs are taken. Hands are over me. I am put in a car. I open my eyes. I’m in the backseat. My mom’s in front with my Nana and the dogs are here in the back. The windows are rolled up and we’re all sweating really hard because of the heat.

“You can’t take Pugs out in the open,” my Nana says. She explains that they are being killed off, and my Uncle is one of the men who shoots them. I don’t know why it’s happening. I roll a window down and shove my face out. It’s a little refreshing. I draw things in the thick condensation that’s formed on the windows.

They drop me off at my dream-house, where I’m staying. It’s night time. I take the dogs into a shed and ruffle through a few boxes. I find a purple wig and put it on. In the mirror, I look the same, and my wig looks really funny. I can’t fit all my hair under it.

I go into the house. I’m staying with an autistic boy and his autistic friend. They annoy me, not because they’re autistic, but they won’t leave me alone for a moment. I try to run into my room and quickly close the door, but they get in. I do it again, forcefully and lock the door. The dogs play around in my room.

The scene jumps to me going back to the building with the school kids. It’s daytime again, but the same day, just a few hours later. No one is outside and I see the tail end of the line going in. Shit. To go in, you walk up some stairs on the side of the building, so I do that. The next part is the beginning of a big obstacle course. I didn’t know that was what this was.

Derek, my friend, is in front of me. After the stairs, you climb through a window-esque opening. I do so, but after casually going through, I am almost falling off a circular ledge that leads from the outside to the inside. Below me, all the kids are doing their obstacles or just watching me fall. This is the first part, and I’m already failing. Well I didn’t know about it, so I don’t feel that bad, I don’t really care about this. The ledge is absolutely terrifying, however.

I fall more, and I’m dangling half inside half outside the building, my hands on the ledge.

“Fuck all you hoes,” I say (lols) and manage to lift myself up. I slink around the ledge and come to a bigger part of it. Kayla, a schoolmate, is in back of me. There are two doorways. They are both extremely small. I enter one, and it gets blistering hot as I walk through. I take off my hoodie, and my mind says this is why my dream has been so hot. It’s still hot in the hallway. It zigzags vertically and becomes too small to fit through. I look back and see Kayla has taken the other hallway, the correct choice. Shit, failed again.

Scene change to the end of the course. I’ve probably come in last, but I’m hanging out with the first place and second place kids until they make a final announcement. It’s kind of like a break time. First place is “Heather”, although it doesn’t look like her and she keeps taking her glasses off (which she doesn’t have in waking life) and saying how she can’t see.


Circle Class

I am in a big fancy house and I am going to interview someone. They bring me to the “tea room”, which is a huge circular white room. I sit down.

Scene change to me sitting in the room, but in a desk. There are about thirty desks all arranged in a circular way. I see Jack sitting on the other side of the circle. I’m talking to Megan, a childhood friend, and Derek, a friend from school. We talk for a long time, most of the dream, but I don’t remember dialogue much. My mouth is really dry.

I look down the line and see Heather talking to a friend, Aimee. I get a jealousy pang but remember that I’m having a quite good time myself here talking with Megan. We are sitting in rolly chairs and I spin around the room, having some fun.

For some reason, a lot of people start to leave. I think they’ll come back so I wait. Eventually it’s just me and a few kids near Jack who are really dedicated students and wouldn’t leave a class. I know everyone is having a good time without me, and I get very upset. I see Derek left me a drawing. It’s really good, and on the back it has a black scratch area. It reveals rainbow colors if you scratch it away. I doodle on it and think about what Heather is doing without me. I do some funny things to entertain the students, who laugh, but I can’t close my mouth. It’s too dry!

I wake up, and have the worst dry mouth. I drink water and go back to bed.



Fragment

I am in Goodwill with my mom and someone else. This girl Emily who is really disgusting is here. She points to a sailing instrument, a tiny globe that has a handle under it that controls a grid laying over the earth. It tells you longitude and latitude numbers. I really want it, but it’s thirty dollars. I carry it around and slip it into my pocket.

I check out the records and they have video game soundtracks. I really want the Donkey Kong 64 Part 2 (doesn’t exist!) soundtrack, or the Banjoe Tooie. No money, oh well. I think about telling my friend Lotie about them, because she just got a record player.

I look at a television playing something on a shelf. A thought comes to mind that my mom had cancer in my dream or something. The dream details on this, but I don’t recall any of it.


Fragment

It’s a year later than now, and I “wake up” in a daze into the new present time, knowing nothing of the past year. I ask Heather all the things we did in the passing year, and have my mom tell me some things we did too. I go to a park with my mom and dad and my dad uncovers my old bike from under a hiding spot. He said I put it there last year.


Fragment
I'm in my first room ever. On the ground there are two vests, identical. Weird, I think. Why would that happen? I could be dreaming. I become lucid, look at the vests, and see they are remarkably different. I wake up.

Horrible recall + staying at other people's houses for a few days = limited dream journal entries

My friend Gabe comes over quite unannounced. He goes on my computer and we look at my computer history one page at a time together. I'm really uncomfortable. I had a false awakening that I wrote this down.


Jamie is in a very surreal version of his apartment with a fuzzy tie dye shirt and matching tie dye sweater. The sleeves are rolled up and held in place with weird little velcro tabs on each arm.


I keep having small Sims things pop up into my dreams since I re-downloaded The Sims 2 A burglar came into the area that I was having my dream. My POV shifted into the usual top-down view when playing, and I saw him creepin around the entire area stealing Sims objects. The view was pretty neat, because I could see myself and where I was dreaming, and then the whole area that I was in.


My mom bleached my hair and then started to dye parts of it bright blue

Beach Movie

I am playing a marble game with a big structure full of holes and tunnels for the marbles to roll around in. A few of my friends are with me in an obscure setting playing this game. Jamie stands up from the structure and tells everyone he wants to see the new Jack Skellington movie. Some of us want to and some of us don't, but we all end up on a beach.



It's night time, so things are difficult to see. Everyone went their separate ways on the beach, which is where you can watch the movie. The shore has scattered people facing the ocean. However, the ocean is not visible, because a crowd of thousands of kids are all standing in the water facing the shore, chanting for the movie. I can't make out any individual people; there is just a giant blob of kids, some holding signs. My friends all eventually end up in the crowd.

On the shore, my plot line diverts from my friends. A woman is holding two staffs with glowing rocks on the ends of them. One is blue and one is green. She's looking for something with them, using them as a natural flashlight of sorts. We exchange dialogue (but I never remember words in my dreams) and I end up helping her. She gives me the blue staff, and I jab it around the beach.

On one end of the beach, there is a kind of couch cushion that's upside down and connected to a "wall" that ends the beach. Her daughter is inside the cushions I think. I let her try to pry her out and go look for other things that were missing. I turn my back to the water and the sand, and there is a hallway that leads to Heather's house. I don't go down it, but there is a box in the hallway. There is a tiny zebra in the box, which I take, feeling slightly guilty but not really.

Back on the beach, I go up an adult in the water who is hiding behind a big sign that is declaring his love for the movie. He is handing out taffy to everyone. I take some and notice the calories: 400/inch. Yikes. My dream-mind doesn't like that either, so I throw it away.

Dumpstering

I'm in a mall with Tyler and someone else. It's night time and almost time to leave. There's barely anyone here. We steal some ice cream and eat it as we walk around. Alex, a guy from school, comes up to us with melted ice cream in two glass cups and starts singing some song about having sex. His girlfriend is with him and I wonder how she feels about this weird situation. He passes us.

I tell Tyler that because it's night time, we can try to dumpster dive out back for books they throw away. She's really hesitant because it's still a bit light out and she's afraid of getting caught. I persuade her, however. We go to walk outside, and the exit that we chose is in an area of the mall called the "Drunk Exit". We talk about how dumb it is because "you can't even drink in the mall!"

I have a very distinct memory of opening the door to exit. The door was massive, and my hands couldn't fit around the giant handle. It was clear glass and a white frame and even when I looked up, I couldn't see the top.

Outside, the first thing I see is a white rooster. It's just kind of standing there and I think of how odd this is. I go near it and it doesn't move. I do a dream check, and decide it's normal. (FUCK)

Tyler and I run through the woods near the exit and I spy my friend Dylan in the woods a few feet from us with some kids. They're all playing with this weird material I've never seen. It's orange and very surreal. It's kind of like foam but not even really "there". Strange indeed. I dismiss this. (FUCK)

Tyler and I duck behind a big dumpster and a car drives by with the U.S. Military emblem on the door, so we book it back through the woods because we're scared. We end up on a trail lost in the woods. I jump really high and step on a lot of boulders, just kind of messing around, trying to get to Tyler who's ahead of me. I accidentally crash into her and we wobble on the boulder we're standing on. She's really terrified of falling. I do this again on accident, and she's mad.

Somehow we get back to the mall and I cross the street. Tyler doesn't follow me, but someone does. I don't know who they are for the rest of the dream. It's morning now and the sun is coming up. We're at a skate park area and I'm on my longboard, turning in circles in the parking lot.

"You should have gotten your board!" I say to the other person. We talk about how they lost it or something. Then we notice a group of snobby teens playing in the park. We go up to them and kind of listen in on their conversation. They are talking about not doing certain things because it's really dumb, and I say something really snappy about not dying my hair blonde because it's really dumb (I wish I remembered the whole conversation here, my dream-self really thought I was clever with the comeback.)
One of the guys who are with them laughed, and he looked so out of place in the group.

I notice that Jimmy from Degrassi/Drake the artist is with them, too. He's in a wheelchair like he is on the T.V. show. Slowly he's lifted from the chair and has no clothes on and is trying to stand. I ask how he can do that if his legs don't work, and Heather suddenly pops into my dream and explains the episode he's re-enacting.

One of the funny guys who doesn't belong gets naked too and I am about to leave. I go up to him and tell him he is very funny, and his friend is too (the original guy who laughed at my joke). I make X's on their lips and the sun rises and rays align with the X's. I leave somewhere.


Fragment

I'm in a town where Heather supposedly lives. We walk to the store in all red because there are gangs and red means you're safe. At the store, we play with marbles in a structure (very similar to my other dream). We leave our shoes here and walk home. Then we notice we want our shoes back, so we go get them.

Boyscouts vs. the Fire Nation

Holden my brother, Tyler and I are hanging around downtown. We’re on this outside deck looking over the parking lot in the center of all the shops. I look over at a part of the brick buildings to my right that’s made of wood all the way from bottom to top. It’s made of strips of wood intersecting like X’s, like a foundation of a porch on some houses. Between the X’s I can see an old decaying sign.

At the same moment, Tyler seems to spot it: “Look, remember Weatherfields?!”

“Fuck yeah, I loved that place,” I say. It was an old restaurant that everyone went to as children (such a place doesn’t actually exist). Holden says he never went there, but I assure him he did.

In front of us, a few people get out of a little car. It’s a family it seems.

“Let’s go, there’s Kirstie Alley,” Holden says and starts walking out of the deck, into the parking lot and away from the family. It wasn’t only a fat joke, but the mom of the family also looked like Kirstie Alley, the actress. She was huge and was wearing a pink dress down to her ankles. Her flubby arms swung and instead of walking, she seemed to just tip in the direction she wished to go and flowed with inertia.

Holden, Tyler and I went to Goodwill, which was across the parking lot. Inside, I ran into the toys section which my dream-self never really does (Goodwill doesn’t have a toys section, and the whole place was more of a real store like a small WalMart). Tyler followed me and we began talking about wanting it to be summer out so we can play with water guns.

A couple started quarreling in the aisle so we left and went up front. There, we looked inside one of those claw machines. There was a really interesting looking umbrella. At first, I didn’t even know it was an umbrella. It had spikes in bands all around it, intricately engraved motifs from the handle to the top of it, where they followed the paths of metal in the shading part.

“Jack, you can have that blue one,” Tyler says. She points to a similar umbrella although colored light blue, making it kind of ugly. Where did Jack even come from? He has an ugly little face of anger when she makes this jab, and then he disappears.

Tyler and I touch a lot of soft stuffed animals in a big metal bin. I am particularly attracted to a white elephant and can’t stop touching it. Eventually, Holden asks us to leave because he’s bored of Goodwill, so we do.

The scene becomes us walking around Winslow, our neighboring town. Holden is a boyscouts parade soon, and Tyler and I are just following him around. Tyler’s smoking but doesn’t want her cigarettes anymore for whatever reason and asks if I’d like them. I think for a second and say sure. One is unlit and one is lit. I put the unlit one in my pocket and look at the lit one: where the flame should be, there is a hologram of a tiny flag that dissolves if you wave it back and forth. I take a drag and nothing really happens, no smoke, nothing.

We are walking up this big hill and I see my friend Autumn. She’s wearing a boyscout uniform just like the guys. It’s funny for me because she’s pretty big and walking up this big hill and doing dude-things with scouts, which is not of character for her. Not on the dream-plane, though!

“Autumn, why are you even a boyscout anymore?” I ask. She shrugs her shoulders and we talk about something (but I rarely remember dialogue in my dreams at all).

We get to the top of the hill. Tyler, Holden, and my old friend Cholage are at the top and want to slide down.

“What the fuck, you’ll probably die!” I say and make notice of the four-way intersection at the bottom (all of this is accurate in waking life). They all shrug their shoulders and start sliding down anyway. They just jump and their feet slide on the pavement, moving it as if it was very slippery and malleable mud. I don’t want to look like a coward so I start sliding too.

I’m half-way down and everyone else is at the bottom so I decide to call it quits. I can’t stop easily so I ram myself into a building on the side of the hill and then slide over and join Holden, Tyler and Cholage. They are on this floating house with a floating front yard, all of it on top of a small inlet. I’m really afraid of it sinking because I don’t want to get wet. Holden laughs at me because of how afraid I am, and I laugh too.

I look over and Tyler and Cholage are nearly naked making out with eachother. Holden is laughing and they both have smiles on their faces. I have an intuitive thought that they are doing this to make me jealous (though I’m not really attracted to either of them). I don’t want to seem jealous. But! I fall while the floating yard bobs in the water and my face lands right near their nude bodies. Whoops.

Holden and I start walking with the boyscouts as their parade starts. There’s a ton of boyscouts on the sidelines, but no actual onlookers. I think of how embarrassing this is, but no one minds. While Holden walks in the parade, I ask him about Avatar.
“We should watch Avatar sometime, I love that show. I’m re-watching all the episodes,” I say. He kind of nods, uninterested. “Have you seen the movie?”

“No. It’s not Miyamoto’s best.” (Why did my mind choose Miyamoto as the director??)

“Yeah I haven’t seen it either, I think they cast Aang wrong. He looks so serious,” I say. Holden agrees and we talk about it for awhile. I make a face, impersonating the actor.

Suddenly, the Fire Nation is attacking the parade! (I love how the mind works ) Everyone is running all over the place. Most of the boyscouts are Air Benders, like me. I get separated and am by myself, almost surrounded by opponents. Luckily, most of them are engaged with other battles and don’t notice me. One, in front of me, however, sends a giant flame dragon head at me. Its jaw is chomping as it comes closer. I close my eyes and focus my energy on the most powerful air attack I could do right now. I cross my arms, and when I uncross them, I send a wave of forceful air in its direction. The dragon head splits into smaller flaming heads that dissolve as someone pulls a big blanket of salt water over everyone. It’s sticky.



Around me, big booming voices are telling their followers to say a certain word that will bring them to safety. I see one of the voices re-embodied. It’s a God, a leafy Earth God that is putting all his devotees into a vortex as they say the correct word.
My friend Gabe says it, and I look at him strangely. He was always an atheist! I say the word, too, hoping for salvation, and I black out.

I wake up in a recovery area. Everyone is sitting on leafy clouds. My surroundings are dim. Holden is here, but Tyler isn’t. Heather’s friend Brittany is in front of me. For some reason, she pulls me really close to her and is making very affectionate moves! I apologize when our faces stick together because of how salty I am. She doesn’t mind, and starts kissing me. I wake up.


Illegal Drive

In the middle of the night, Tyler texted me and asked if I had any money for weed. I said no and went back to sleep.
In my dream, I am in the school, but under it, in this really cool art workshop that no one knows about. I get a text from Tyler and she asks if I have any money for McDonalds. I decide that I will take my car and get her some, even though I don’t have my license.

My car is underground where I am at the school, so I just go get it and drive off. I drive fine until I get to McDonalds, where I forget to stop at the window. I’m embarrassed so I just decide to drive home. I find that I’m going 80 down a hill and can’t stop. Eventually I hit the breaks. I turn into this little section of the parking lot in downtown. I try to keep going on this “road” but I find the only ways to go are up some…stairs? Shit, I am driving in a pedestrian park. I back out and go home.

False Awakening: I wake up and don’t know if it was all a dream or not. I tell my mom, hesitantly, that my car may or may not be here, and I may or may not have driven it last night. She laughs and says it was just a dream. Okay good!


Climbing The Tower

There is a big tower. A bunch of kids are climbing it, it’s some game. It turns into a tunnel halfway up and then disappears, turning over and extending some other way. I try to climb it but, like a lot of the kids, I fall. It’s a difficult game-like structure. I see how some of the more “advanced” kids are climbing it and mimic them.

I “get” how to climb it now, so I’m doing it all really easily. I pass most of the kids who I learned from. The newest part that I see is a green rope at the top of the tower that you hold on to as you fall off the side of it, into a swampy area. The tower was clearly just the beginning of a really cool journey.

I don’t grab onto the rope, I just kind of let my fingers glide over it as I jump into the swamp. A lot of kids “die” (and re-enter at the entrance to the whole tower) here. I walk around the tower in the swamp and come to weird area with a bunch of circular steps with newspaper over them. I hop along them, passing this area, and find myself in another swamp land.

There’s another tower which a few kids are trying to climb. I use my climbing skills and pass them as well. The top of the tower is a cool club house! There’s a few other “winners” inside, and we talk about the tower and just hang out.

Something happens, and the scene changes. I want to go to the club house again. I pass all the kids trying, and at the step area, I see why people have a lot of trouble here: the steps are made of pure ice. Because I hopped passed them, I didn’t come in contact with them enough to notice.

In the club house, there’s only a girl inside. Where’d all the cool winners go? She wants me to help her lure a Dryad from the swamp. First she suggest I set my Dryad Bow (?) into the water, but I assume she’ll take it. Instead, she puts her shiny Chaos Gloves (from Guild Wars) into the water, but nothing comes. I feel bad.




Fragment

I’m at school in a classroom I’ve never seen. I sit out back with my friend Celina. I haven’t been to class in awhile I assume, because everyone is working on some project and have pages of notes, and I have none. I don’t really care.

Chase calls me over from the other side of the room. He explains what we’re doing: making our own cereal boxes. I’m excited. It incorporates English somehow by having us add propaganda to the box. The project seems really fun. I want to make my box funny, so on the bottom I put the Surgeon General’s Warning.

Dynamite Town

I’m flying! I’m close to the ground, no cars, just a big long road in the country surrounded by yellow and orange autumnal trees. I let my muscles go limp and the wind takes me higher, passed the power lines. If I go too high I get a little nervous I’ll never come back down, so I stabilize myself a few feet above the power lines. “It feels so good to be flying, finally,” I say.The wind is warm and everything feels exhilarating.

A tiny voice in my head starts talking to me: it’s my mom! I lose lucidity. She wants me to go get “Cochla root” for my dad, who has a bit of back pain. I need to go to the medicine woman we see for the herbal nutrition we buy from her.

Luckily, my school is having a trip to the same area today! Now I’m on a bus, looking out the window. We’re here, in the little mountain town where she lives. I call it a “boomtown” but for other reasons: all around us, people are working with dynamite in the mountains to access the gold and coal that are inside. The surroundings are all dirt and mud with laborers outside on this particularly rainy day. The houses are scattered boxes on the fields passed the dynamite lands. The bus rides through on the only paved road I see.

Out my window I see a girl who’s working. I look in her eyes as she works. There’s a connection here, one that I’m uncertain of but I feel something. I want her to look at me, but the bus passes before she turns.



Ahead, the other bus of students is returning from the town, going home. There is only enough room for one bus, but this isn’t a problem in a dream. Our bus kind of goes “over” the other bus, without an accident or anything dangerous, we are on the same track but on different levels of the same road. My POV is inside the other bus as it passes below us. I see Heather sitting alone, crying. I know she’s having an anxiety attack because of all the dynamite and danger around her. Jack is in my bus and starts taunting her.

“Jack,” I say. Everyone on both of the buses stops talking. “Shut the FUCK UP.” He does. We move on.

We get to our destination soon. It’s a old fort house a little ways passed the main dynamite mountain area. Inside, I get a little scared; this is a haunted house-esqe attraction, not an informative guide through the history of the town. Although I’m scared, me and my friend Celina are the first to run in. The doorway frightens us: when you walk over it, it rains on you. This was terrifying in my dream!

We sit down against a wall and let everyone else explore the house. I go into the kitchen where the witch doing all this scary magic is kneading bread. I ask her about the medicine woman and where I can see her.

“You’re on the same road but this is the wrong house,” she says. I feel embarrassed. I sit back against the wall with Celina and text Heather. Eventually everyone has explored the scary house and we leave.

On the way home we stop at a McDonalds and I order two chicken nuggets. I receive my order and they are huge, about half the size of me! I can’t wait to give these to Heather (I’m vegetarian), but they’re really heavy and difficult to pull along.

The scene shifts to me in the back seat of a car. My Uncle Pat is driving. I don’t want to tell my mom that I didn’t get the Cochla root and she’ll have to drive back to the town. I think of ways to tell her the bad news. My Uncle is going really slow and when I notice this, he hits the accelerator and goes through a shortcut home: through a bank parking lot and then through a school playground. Before we reach the playground, my POV shifts to above the car, as if there is no car, only me and him floating (but I still “feel” that we are in a car). We start passing through the fence into the playground and I see a bunch of curved spoons on the ground.

“That’s where crack addicts do their drugs. If I was going to do crack, I’d do it here,” I say.

On the playground, we pass a teenager on a small child’s bike. Now I am riding the bike.

It has backwards peddle brakes which are so foreign to me that I just don’t brake. Instead, I kind of idle around the edge of the playground until I can cross the street. I go for it without looking, and a car almost hits me: it was my mom, we’re both going home. I find this funny.

Peddling home, I stop on the side of the street to collect some acorns that have fallen from a tiny tree. My uncle’s voice booms to me: “Stop, let’s go home!” I tell him to wait a minute and then we proceed home.

Fragment

(Copied directly from my dream journal, I can’t make sense of it)
Me + a lot of people, nighttime, afraid on couches in a big house. Julia. My cat forms into a square of space + I wake up with her still there.