The book of mars

i live in a huge farm house in a new country town on "fog" street.

i'm in the attic with heather and my mom and dad. we're all smoking a bowl. we get super stoned.

heather and i go into a room in the attic, which is a blueberry field inside the house.

"hey we want to be on a real field" we think and go outside and touch and experience the grass. it's nice.

thru the woods, i see the color aqua and red. what the? two horses thoses colors come by into the field.

it's heather's friends brittany and some girl. heather runs over and says hi hi hi and all of that.

i get jealous. i talk to the other girl. i've met her once or twice, but as a kid i remember being friends with her. she says we were but not for long. i think it might be sarah silverman (? )

they talk and talk and talk and i get too jealous and mad to handle it. i run away like a child.

i run thru a door in the woods which leads to town. i walk around like i'm on a longboard. what the fuck i want to longboard!

i go home and grab mine. it's shaped like a fish, and is colored very cool. i ride in town and on a big hill and zig zag on a main road, exploring places that i can go to now since i just moved here. i forgot about how sad i was.

i have a feeling a lot happened before this, but i cant remember any of it.

i am looking in first and third points of view simultaneously. i am looking at at a river swamp from the shore.

everything is bit and video game-ish. i have a shovel and decide to dig. i dig a spot of ice near the shore. marshmallows pop out. i dig a connecting hole, making the hole bigger. more marshmallows pop out. i dig up the whole ice spot at once! a thousand marshmallows float into the swamp.

by a dead tree i see a dolphin. i can ride him around to access the river. i ride him upstream.

i find the spot where the dolphins live and come from. there are a few of them. i try to hop onto another one but i miss and drown.

i get a game over and have to start back in ... kakariko village. fuck this game.

i'm in "real life" now. i was playing a video game on the same shore i am sitting on. i am hanging out with jack and heather. we each are sitting on a stump.

my friend celina calls me over from a mini party happening under a pavilion to my left. i walk up a small trail and hang out with her. i dance really weird because i hate everyone there. i'm making fun of them.

i go back to heather and jack. heather is gone and her sister is here instead. she tells me heather went to her room. ok.... i walk thru the forest trail and find a door like her real door connected between two trees. i open it.

heather is buying weed from a girl who's a big dyke and simultaneously black and white. most of the time she's black. i hear her say "21 g for 17". they notice me but dont care.

the black women gets her shit packed in a small black lunchbox tied around her neck. it has a 12.00 tag on it. she leaves.

heather is high. my whole body feels mad (i would be in real life as i'm a jealous person).

time warp to me walking around with my mom at night. she's high, too. we are dumpster diving.

i keep thinking "you shouldn't focus on heather, you should be-here-now" but the feeling is too intense and has to place in the current situation.

my mom wants to dumpster dive in back of mcdonalds (uh ew) but i say its open 24/7. we hang out near this big dumpster full of actual nice toys and things which shouldn't have been thrown away. i pick out a few good things.

Totoro Encounter

I wake up to a phone call. It’s a little boy saying my dog is outside. I don’t have a dog, but I go check anyways.

Outside, a golden retriever is laying in my yard. His name is Rusty and in waking life he belongs to my friend Martin but in this dream, he belongs to my neighbor Bill. The kid got confused. I look for the boy but I see no one in sight, and the dog is just sleeping. He thought he was hurt.

I peep downwards. On the other side of the screen door is a little white totoro with a cute red cap on and little red mittens! I let him in.

He runs around for a moment and then I lift him up. Wait, this could be a trick. My anxiety kicks in and I think of what this could be: a weird listening device robot and someone is hearing on the other end what I am talking to it about? I put my finger in its mouth. It’s wet, and I feel a few baby teeth. I pat all around it, it’s fur is very very soft, like a shaved cat belly. It seems soft on the inside: no mechanical parts.



It doesn’t like this patting though and it hops out of my hands and runs under my couch. I’m sad because now I know it’s real, and I already fucked up our first meeting! I get on my hands and knees and peep under the couch and lure it out.

I hold the cute little thing in my hands. He takes his hat and mittens off and I cuddle him a little. I then remember my two cats. Shit. They smell it, and come from upstairs. He hops out of my hands and the chase begins. I feel so bad for him, I can’t catch either my cats or him. At one point, I see something ruffling under a big blanket and I think it’s my cat. I tap my foot to lure her out, and she jumps at my foot, clawing it. She feels bad and kind of walks around me in apology.

I find the totoro and scoop him up and run to the door. I am about to set him free when my cats come and think I put him out already, so they’re eager to leave. They both go out and the totoro is safe. I set him down. He begins to cry softly. I feel so bad and squeeze him lightly, apologizing.

He is very in the moment and stops crying when I cheer him up and he realizes there’s no cats. He doesn’t seem to be hurt. He scurries back under the couch with his hat and mittens. He keeps smiling at me someone even though his mouth isn’t really like that.

I false awaken. Both my cats are on my bed. A shimmer of light shines through my window and all three of us go and watch the beautiful sun set.

Both of my cats were on my bed sleeping all night. Maybe we shared these dreams

Fantasy Cousins

I am in a parking lot with my mom and my cousin Catie. We’re going to go somewhere, like Portland or something, even though it’s really late and it’s two hours there, two hours back. Catie says Patrick, her brother/my other cousin, has to come too. I like Patrick in waking life, but I scream really loud in my dream when I hear this. I don’t say anything, I’m just screaming.
Before we go to Portland, we have to stop at Heathers house for some reason and wait a long time. Catie and Patrick awkwardly sit in the living room. The house is very different than waking life. I peep into Heathers room and she’s sleeping. I go in.
She’s having a dream and she’s smiling so big. She’s talks too, occasionally. I’ve never seen anyone have such an in depth dream. I wake her and apologize because her dream sounded cool, but she said it just ended.

We all leave together. The scene changes to a very weird room, cramped and full of people. We seem to be “regular” people, while there are more “noble” people. One is an old man, very strict and military-esque while appearing wise and mystic as well. He has a long beard like a stereotypical Chinese guy. The other noble is a young girl. She’s giving everyone weird creatures to ride on. Patrick gets on back of one that kind of looks like a bear, but is clearly nocturnal for some reason and has jagged limb structures. I want to get on one, but the girl explains it’s only for males. Heather, Catie and I sit down, and I feel really mad.
The scene changes to just me and Patrick walking up this big hill. He starts to dance kind of, just moving his body in a strange rhythmic way. On the ground below us, ice forms as he dances in a beautiful pattern. I join, and the pattern becomes more intricate. We get to the top.


Fragment

I’m at school. Our classroom moves to the teachers secret library. It’s a tilting room that I’m afraid will tip over. I sit in the back, closest to the exit. The ceiling is extremely high and there are bookshelves that reach it, toppling with books. I hate myself because I keep saying absolutely everything on my mind, whether it makes sense or not. I blame it on being really tired.
Later, we go to a gym. The gym has a giant weird rotating machine in the middle. The teacher comes up to me with a paper I made, and instead of an essay we drew pictures. Mine had a wand made of a marijuana plant, and she said I shouldn’t be so risqué.


Fragment

My mom wants weed, so I call up my friend Dylan and ask about it. He says some obscure date, but my mom goes and visits his apartment anyway. Outside there is a sack of seeds and she thinks its hers. She goes in and he says it’s not, so we leave.


Fragment
I'm shopping with Heather and Tyler. In one store, Heather buys me a jacket. In another, we all look at a display case of jewelry. There is a watermelon mood ring that Tyler wants. Heather wants some earrings (her ears aren't pierced), and I want a little hand clasp with an eye on the palm.