Xanous' Dream Journal

#296 - DILD - 7:04AM

I am driving out of the parking lot in my car. There are a lot of people in the way I decide to lightly bump MJ with my car. I wave and sarcastically mouth, "Sorry." I decide to take the prank further and pull over waiting for her to pass by. I get out of my car looking for hers. I decide I will use TK to make a wheel fall off. I realize this is dream control and become lucid.

I lightly drum on my car waiting for MJ still intent on a little TK prank. Several cars pass by and marvel at how vivid and clear the dream is. I worry being idle too long will destabilize the dream. I decide go ahead and do my goal. I think what it was for a second. When I recall I shout, "Bean!" I reach into my pocket and pull out something solid and small. The sensation is dull but, it vaguely feels like three beans. I quickly press them into the grass and immediately wake up.

#295 - DILD - 6:05AM

I am sitting at work with a rifle at my desk. I have some shells and I am trying to determine if they are the right type. It seems to be a single loader with some oddities.

I suddenly feel extremely dizzy and sleepy with blurry, distorted vision and feel the need to lay down. I recognize this as dream sign and become lucid. I decide to go ahead and lay down to WILD hoping that I can jumpstart a new scene. As I lay down, I see a blurry watery vision of my co-worker, Joyce, looking down at me. I ignore her.

I quickly decide this tactic could backfire on me so I get up and rub my hands while I stomp around. Soon my vision clears up and I take walk looking around at the strange version of work. I think hard to recall my goal and I remember. I want to try the Jake and the Beanstalk TOTY. I decide not to bother with going outside to plant beans. I'll plant it into the floor instead.

I prep myself for a blind summon by chanting, "Beans, Beans, Beans, I got beans in my pocket. Beans in my pocket. Beans Beans Beans." I look around and see a nice open space in the building and head for it.

Unfortunately, I wake at this moment. I settle in to DEILD and get some mild vibes but I quickly fall into a non lucid dream about my mom nearly falling down concrete steps holding an infant.

#294 - DILD - 4:50AM

I fail my WILD and have several FAs were I was trying to WILD and got mild vibes but fell into non lucid dreams. Or did I actually have DEILD moments? Not sure, but this is what I recall.

I have some vibes but FA. There is some light outside and I wonder how so much time passed since my WBTB. I try WILD again and have another FA with vibes. I try to focus on visuals to avoid the OBE sensation.

I am playing hide and seek with my daughters in my old house. I know they went to the back yard so I run out the front and around the side to meet them in the back. I am bare foot and have to side step multiple piles of dog poo.

On the side of the house I see something like a Doberman chained up. It barks at my and I speak to it so it can recognize me in the dark. It calms down and I pet it. Its head feels like ice and I have some guilt for leaving a dog in the cold. I decide my cover is blown so I leave to sneak around the other side. When I reach the side gate I look back at the dog. I am shocked to see a naked woman with a collar and chain instead of a dog. She has her back to me gives me a sad look over her shoulder. I stumble away feeling like I am losing my mind. I wonder why I am hallucinating such odd things.

I have another FA or time passes and its a totally different dream. I have some vibe sensation again and find my self FA in a library. A librarian is looking for a book that is lost. I jokingly tell the librarian that someone stole the book and now it will come out of his check. I look to my left and see a beer bottle on a book shelf. Something reminds me that I was trying to get lucid. Maybe I chose the wrong place for it and I should go home where there are less distractions.

I see Sharon from work and she kisses my bye and tells me she loves me. I walk away feeling confused about this. In some random area of the building I see a hand sanitizer above a doorway with my name on it and "Murder 2007". I have no idea that is about adding to my confusion. I go back to thinking about the large black woman I am supposed to be married to. I recall my actual wife and wonder how I have two wives. I worry about the legality of it all. I realize I don't remember marrying Sharon and I certainly can't recall ever having sex with her. The thought makes me shutter.

I come to a half door and see Amanda from work sitting at a small desk. There is an electrical outlet on the door with two plugs and cords coming off it. I unplug whatever was plugged to it so I can open the door to get out. I wonder if Amanda had something there for a reason, but I couldn't help it. I look down and now realize I am in my underwear. I recall that this happens a lot because that actually all I am really wearing.

Now I understand that this is all a dream. I feel a little insecure stepping out into the parking lot in just my underwear but I ignore it. For some reason it helps me to think that I am in a music video. I bust open the door in a silent scream as some music begins to play as I run in slow motion.

Everything halts when I see some crazy looking man made of balloons tumbling toward me in the wind. I slap at the balloon man and I swirls into the air. I look into an unfamiliar parking lot and see a truck. I think it must have been for me to drive home and I head for it, but before I can even get close it disappears.

I begin to fly low to the ground rather than walk or run. I come to a park and see some people dressed in animal suits running around chasing each other. I say, "Oh cool! A Where The Wild Things Are Dream." I look down and visualize a costume of my own. Fake brown fur seems to materialize over my bare skin. I suddenly remember I had a goal but I can't seem to recall it. I don't want to collapse the dream so I put it aside for now. I zoom fly to the nearest "wild thing" and tackle it. My tackle turns into a dog pile and I quickly realize that this is just a normal person in a suit. I think, "Oh no, these are Furries!" and quickly get sucked into an orgy. I try to resist but I feel turned on and latch onto an anonymous woman.

I look away and see one of them just standing there. I ask, "What are you doing?"
The person replies, "I only want one."
When I ask which one, the person says, "The most submissive."

Mercifully, I wake up at this point.

#292 - DILD - Time Unknown

I don't remember the beginning of this dream but I know I am caught up in the emotion of it. I enter a public bathroom and see 3 or 4 large burly men enter behind me. I recognize them and know them. There is bad blood between us and I know why they followed me.

Suddenly, I realize I am dreaming and feel invincible. I decide to get this over with and fly straight into attack mode. I punch one in the jaw and then punch the side of his face with the other fist, slamming him hard to the floor. I upper cut the next guy and slam the palms of both my hands into his midsection causing him to fly hard into a tiled wall. I think all this is too easy and unrealistic so I allow the next guy to get some hits. There is no pain but my vision becomes jumbled and I feel like someone has my hands restricted behind me. OK thats enough. I blindly throw some punches connecting with ease. The fight is now over and I have to focus to see again.

I am looking at a large wall mirror. My appearance changes several times into people I do not recognize. I don't worry too much about it and feel more interested in summoning a gun. I never get to shoot in dreams. I blind summon an Uzi and shoot at the glass. I get the effect of blasting holes and shattering glass but the mirror also stays in tact as if there is a impenetrable second layer underneath.

I decide I want to burn the place down to hide the evidence and any possible fingerprints. (Why do I always worry about fingerprints in LDs? ) I think, flamethrower, and begin shooting unrealistic and unconvincing flames all over the restroom. I feel as if I have to pretend as I go but push through until I feel satisfied.

I move to the exit and look outside. Peeking around the brick, I see a small and empty lot surrounded by chainlink fence and thick forest beyond. To the left, I see the begining of a street. I hear police sirens in the distance and imagine several cop cars racing toward my location from a nearby highway. I exit right across some pavement, summon something like a bolt cutter, slice a rip in the fence, and jump into the thicket. I slide down a muddy hillside feet first and begin running along a path in the forest. I enjoy the feeling of effortless running. The muscles in my legs stretch and tense with each pounding stride but I feel no fatigue. It's a nice feeling.

During my run, I lose lucidity. I begin thinking about how I could live off the land and stay here for an extended period. I see a dying skunk in a vegetation pile and consider eating it. I have some internal dialogue and quickly decide it's a bad idea. I come to a burned out old brick building with parts of the wall missing. I decide to make camp here and lay down on a soft bed of dried leaves. I am suddenly exhausted and try to sleep.

I think about how I should call my mom and let her know where I'll be for awhile. I imagine what I will tell her as I rehearse my conversation with her. I think I will tell her that I am in the state forest and I can live off the land. I'll probably stay for about 4 years like Tom Hanks on Castaway. I don't have a job anyway so it's really probably best this way but it's going to get so lonely here. I think I could probably steal a cow from a nearby farmer but figure that's a lot of meat all at once. I think that if I steal any livestock I should get a goat for milk. I see all of this in my mind like a vivid daydream.

I briefly wake and fall back to sleep before I can DJ.

#291 - WILD - Time Unknown

I wake from a failed WILD attempt, roll over, adjust, then watch HI. After a few moments I get a vivid image of being in Best Buy. I say to myself, "This is a dream." Suddenly the scene goes from being just a static image to an actual subversive environment. The feeling was like stepping to a painting. As always I am filled with and intense sense of awe and wonder.

I begin walking and realize I have a sledge hammer in each hand. I hear and feel then hit the floor with each step like I am using them for canes or walking sticks. The situation feels awkward and let it go.

Unfortunately, my vision is far too blurry and I try different techniques to clear things up. First I shout, "Clarity now!" as I clap my hands. Nothing improves so I try a technique that I have been pondering over for a while. I blind summon some glasses and put them on. I get spots of clear vision but it doesn't last. Not wanting to waste too much time on this, I decide to just move on and not worry too much about my vision. As I walk around taking in the dream, I begin to feel euphoria as I enjoy just being lucid in a dream. It has been way too long.

I remember my goal to try some ice magic but decide I should wait for the dream to clear up. I wander around looking a different displays and items. I come to a section that starts to look like a clothing section at Wal-Mart. Something about this feels unstable so I turn back. I come to an open laptop with a strange symbol and a space to enter a password. I begin striking random keys believing that whatever I type will be correct but nothing seems to be working. I feel some instability and think I should move on. At that thought, the laptop vanishes.

I continue on and see many flat screen TVs on a wall. Some begin to look like super large tablets. I say, "Hey. Those are tablets." I think that if I turn can turn one on I could enter into a new scene. Before I can do anything the dream fades out and I wake slightly.

I try to enter my dream into my DJ but quickly realize this is still a dream. I decide not to worry to much about forgetting and try to relax into a new scene. Unfortunately, I lose lucidity and don't remember much else.

#290 - DILD - 7:18AM

After a long bout of insomnia I finally get lucid again. I totally wasn't myself in this one.

The first thing I recall is sitting in the back seat of a car. There are two hot women up front looking back at me. Somehow I become lucid and order the women to give me oral. The older one goes right to it as the other turns away. For some reason I think they are mother and daughter. The awkwardness fades with the pleasure and I close my eyes.

I have an FA where I am in bed doing pelvic thrusts into the air. I still feel pleasure so just let it happen. I begin to feel like someone is watching me so I stop. I look around and see that I am in my old bedroom at my parents old house in WC. The door is cracked and I assume someone is there. My mother walks in saying something and takes my son who must have been sleeping next to me. I begin to feel really embarrassed now and hope that no one noticed what I was doing in my sleep.

She leaves and now I am in bed alone. I still feel really tired and roll over to go back to sleep. I decide to check the time and see its 9:06AM. I feel like I still have some sleep time and decide to WILD laying on my stomach with my face over the edge of the bed. I never do this in waking life. I reflect on the other LD I had and laugh that I totally thought I was sleeping in my own house. I decide this is proof that OBEs are just based on expectations. I was confused here.

Suddenly, I feel like I am lying on my back and decide this is a sign that the dream has started. I'm lucid but I totally don't get that I had an FA or the fact that my parents don't even live here anymore. I get up and exit the room.

A very young version of my oldest niece has come up the stairs to go to the bathroom. I feel amped up and crazy and I play with her roughly by play fighting with her. I end up beating her up and kicking her down the stairs. As she falls I fly past her kicking her on more time. It was accidental but I don't worry about it since none of this is even really happening.

Downstairs, I see my younger sister sitting at a computer desk. I yell and make crazy noises but she doesn't see or hear me. I think maybe I am like a ghost and decide to try to scare everyone. My dad is sitting on the cough with my son. I slap him on the stomach three times. He doesn't see me but he feels it. He just looks at my son with a really shocked expression. I run around screaming and "spiderman" up a wall by the front door. I leap off and grab at the ceiling fan. It's on full speed and I slip off one of the blades landing next to my mom. I shout in her face. She sees me but instead of reacting negatively, she looks deep into my eyes and says, "Son, I love you so much."
I immediately calm down. I notice right away that something is off with her appearance. Her eyes are all black with no white, but I blow it off as dream weirdness. I just doesn't bother me , but perhaps it should have. I reply, "I love you too, mom." I kiss her on the cheek and walk away.

I head toward the back door to go exploring but I suddenly wake up before I get there.

#289 - WILD - 4:37AM

I watch the visuals until I notice mild vibes. I focus on it and it become a little stronger. I begin to feel like my body was in a awkward position so I slowly try to adjust while maintaining the vibes. It was probably all my dream body but all I could think was, "Oh great. I'll have to endure the whole dream being uncomfortable."

Suddenly, my wife gets up stopping the vibes. I think at this point she has woke me up. She comes to my side of the bed and starts washing her hands with some sort of paint thinner. I notice I have something like dried glue on my hand and start peeling it off. I comment something about why we have glue on our hands, then I realize This is fake.

My wife disappears and the dream goes visually dark. I try to do my normal transition but it feels like I am moving my physical body. I'm afraid of waking myself up because I feel like I am very lightly sleeping and I can hear the box fan clearly. No worries I'll just visualize. I think about walking in the living room and I am suddenly there with all the lights in the house on.

I pace around still feeling like I need to get more in the dream, but looking back I think I was too worried about it. I wander to the kids room and see the door is open. A lot of the furniture is missing and I see a green beanbag and some clothes scattered around. There's a small tabby kitten pouncing around. I reach to pet it as I look away and back. Now the kitten is calico. I begin to hear my daughters laughing like they do when they are up to no good. I look around for them as I pick the up the kitten that is now pure white. After a moment of searching I think they must be hiding in the closet. I open the door and toss in the kitten fully expecting one of my daughters to appear. The closet is dark and mostly empty with no little girls. I still hear the laughing and now It's starting to creep my out. I decide it's best to leave. I walk into the next room and use TK to close the bedroom door and lock it. The kitten squeezes under the tiny crack under the door and pads next to me. It's still white.

I suddenly remember my goal and forget about the kitten. I look around and see some partially painted pictures on the wall. I float up intending to finish one but it disappears. I pause a moment listening. I can still hear the box fan and feel that I am still barely in the dream. I try not to worry about it too much and go back to painting. I chose to just paint directly on the blank space on the wall. I blind summon a brush without much effort and begin painting a mountain scene. Unfortunately, the paint isn't cooperating and I have trouble getting anything to stay on the wall. I eventually get a basic mountain painted and realize its red and orange. I kind of like the look of it and decide to call it done as the void over takes me.

I am not ready to wake and decide to wait it out until the next dream forms. I decide to entertain myself by turning upside down and swinging back and forth by my feet. The swings are exaggeratedly huge and I can hear the wind in my ears on each pass. After a moment, I decide that I better try to visualize something.

Something forms but I begin to feel really confused and worry that my lucidity is slipping. I force myself to wake up.

#287 - WILD - 4:30AM

After a good hour plus of wakefulness I manage to calm myself to WILD. Strong HI starts. I see a woman handing me a cube with a long erect wire like an impossibly thin blade. I think of the Variable Sword from Ringworld. The woman wants me to follow her and I was supposed to do something but the vision fades.

Suddenly I am gripped with SP sensations. The gravity has shifted and I feel like I am in OBE mode. Everytime I try to transition, I hear a loud indescribable, sci-fi sucking sound with the feeling of being pulled back into my body. My vision of the dream room is blurred and it seems like I can see part of the room being warped with the suction. I feel a type of mental exhaustion with the effort and let it take me back. I am determined to get out and I try again, but to the same effect, though I think this time I last a little longer. I experience lots of G-forces and acceleration each time. I continue trying to escape each time a little farther. At one point, I reach the window and begin to phase. I feel myself pass through, but my vision is as though I am only pressed against it. This causes confusion and I feel like my physical eyes are opening (they weren't). I realize that I can feel something at my belly button and see the infamous "silver cord" for the first time. I find this astonishing and give into the suction taking back to my body.

I open my actual eyes feeling fully wake. I decide it's time change tactics and stop focusing on my body and start focusing on HI.

Within what feels like only a few seconds I see a woman running. I grab at the waist and holding on tightly. The dream feels thin and I am desperate to lock myself in. I say, "Help me." I get a view of large breast under a grayish blue shirt and white undershirt or tank-top. She has a hold of me as well dragging me along. I am pulled into an elevator and I stand up.

I look at the woman more closely and she turns from brunette to blonde and then looks like my ex. I feel like I need to get physical stability so I kiss her neck without sexual intent. In fact, I worry this may cause unwanted dream sex. She pulls back wordlessly disgusted. I decide that was the wrong action and turn away embarrassed. when I do, I see the elevator door has opened and we exit.

I look around and see that I am in a hospital. Maybe now I can finally figure out what all these hospital dreams have been about. I decide this is my goal for this dream. I get the feeling that this woman, who doesn't look much like my ex anymore, wants me to follow her to the left but I feel like I am supposed to go right. It doesn't make sense and I hesitate. I feel a strong need to go right, but decide I should go with the woman since she was helping me. As soon as I make the chose to go left, I wake.

I DEILD easily and now I am coming to a dead end in a branch of the hospital. There is a patient's room with an open door. I see an old and dying man lying in a hospital bed. It's slightly elevated and a lamp on the other side of him casts a sharp silhouette on the curtain. this feels wrong so I turn around. I wake.

DEILD. I see the blonde going another direction in the hospital. I start to follow her but I see the elevator I came from down a hallway to the left. I am drawn that way again. I should have listened to my instinct. This is why I keep waking up. I forget about the woman and head the way I should have went all along.

I pass the elevator and come to a nurses station. A red headed nurse in an old style uniform and hat is standing there. She seems to recognize me and hurriedly points farther down. Saying, "It's Brett Barside. In there!" I feel the need to hurry and rush into the only room I see in the direction she is pointing. I pause at the door and double check the name.
BRETT BARSIDE
I am not sure what I am supposed to do, so I quickly enter the room unprepared. I see a small boy lying unconscious on a bed on his left side. I feel love, pity, compassion, and anxiety for the sick child. I don't know him, but I have some sort of emotional connection to him like I should know who he is. I lay next to him and hug him, telling how much I love him. I tell him that I am here for him, but he never stirs or responds in anyway. I shake the emotion off and decide this child must be in some kind of coma.

I take a moment to notice my environment. The room looks more like a colorful child's bedroom than a hospital room, but it's definitely a hospital room. This is typical for the pediatric wing, I suppose, but for some reason I think, Children's Hosptial. I look down and see several sticker labels on his bed. I focus on one and it reads [My Last Name] and then something like "filter". The characters of the last word are shifty and hard to hold shape enough to read very well. I decide this is unimportant and note the others. They are too blurry to make out so I leave it. Curious, I decide to wonder into the hallway, but this dream finally ends as I step out of the room.

#286 - MILD - 2:53AM


I wake for my WBTB and recall a non lucid dream about having breakfast with morbidly obese people. One asked me if I wanted "cool" (cool whip) or peanut-butter on my pancakes. I shout that I want both. The guy asking looks really pleased with my answer.

Later, I fall asleep a little too fast and forget I wanted to WILD. I find myself at some strange version of my workplace. It's break-time and I see something like cherry cheese cake on a table for everyone to eat. I take an extra large piece with my hands and wolf it down. I see another plain cheese cake and do the same. I begin to feel guilty and like total shit as I realize that I am blowing my calorie restricted diet so blatantly. I've only just started.

As I walk deeper into the break room, I think some coffee would be nice to go with the sweets and pour a cup from a weird coffee pot. I find it strange that the coffee looks like it has creamer in it already, but I just shrug it off. As I start to turn around, I see a plate of really large lemon muffins. I figure since I am blowing my diet I may as well do it right and take a muffin. I quickly shove it into my face as I pick a seat.

I start to sit with Ronnie, but I see Glenn and decide to sit with him. I've been wondering why he's been gone from work (sick) and want to ask him about it. He seems to be engaged in deep conversation with Richard so I politely sit with them waiting to speak. As I sit, I slip and land hard, embarrassing myself. Richard seems to be annoyed and purposefully not making eye contact with me. I decide to sip my coffee and notice that it just tastes like creamer and is not very warm. I get up to check the coffee pot and see it's just now making coffee. I assume someone preloaded the pot with creamer prior to starting the coffee. I go ahead and pour a little more in my cup hoping the first of the brew will be strong enough to counter all the creamer.

When I sit back down, I begin to feel extremely tired and put my head down on the table for a second. I think I am about to dose off, but I suddenly fall out of my seat. I look around, but no one seems to notice. I notice Ronnie's table. He's talking to that one guy whose name I don't know. I suddenly wake and roll over.

I feel annoyed that I feel asleep so fast and decide its time to get focused about WILD. But first, I want to recall the dream I just had. As I am going over it I feel a little shocked at my binge eating. It try to recall the little details but end up having a MILD and slipping right back into the action.

I'm sitting in another spot but still in the same scene and moment. I see the nameless guy sitting alone now. He's talking about fitness and health to someone and mentions something about how the skin of fruits and vegetables have a lot of nutrients. I say, "Yeah. Pretty soon, instead of throwing away the peel, people will eat just the skin and throw away the rest to save calories." I am completely ignored.

I notice a guy I went to high school with get up from another table and tell Nameless that he's been reading a book about core fitness. High School tells Nameless that his "core" is all wrong and needs to work on it. Nameless seems confused and I know why as if I am reading his mind. High School cannot possible know anything about Nameless or his "core" because Nameless hasn't even talked about it.This triggers lucidity.

I realize that I have been eating some type of fruit, or rather, I am holding it in my hand. I look at it, and it looks to be something like a really large plum. There is a bite missing and the interior flesh looks just as deep purple as the skin. I take another bit lucidly noticing the taste. It is deliciously sweet and plum-like but way better than any type of fruit I have ever had. There is no core or seed and the texture is like solid, seedless tomato or maybe a persimmon. My vision starts to fade, but I don't care. I just continue eating the dream fruit enjoying every second. I decide to really focus on the taste and feel of it in my mouth. The taste intensifies to near euphoric levels. I say, "Goddammit, that's so good." I continue like this until I slowly wake up with watering mouth and smacking lips. I look at my empty hand disappointed.

I guess you can see what's been going on in my life.

#283 - WILD - 7:06AM

I wake from a NLD and go into WILD. It's slow coming so I focus to a point outside of my body.
I feel strange but I am not sure if I am dreaming yet or not. I imagine my feet moving to the floor and instantly stand.

I go into the living room and can see pretty well. The house seems dark but the sun is blazing through the blinds. As I go out, I notice my wife sitting quietly on the couch holding my son. We exchange hellos as I pass. Then, I pause at the front door feeling unsure. This dream is really vivid and lifelike. I ask, "So... Am I dreaming?" She replies but I can't quiet hear her and she seems to be changing the subject. I ask again, "Well, am I dreaming? Because, I am about to go outside like this." I assume I am wearing just my underwear but I suddenly feel like I have a blanket wrapped around me.
My wife says, "Yeah. Because, you had to wait 15 years to get a new engagement ring."
I realize is to total non-sense and that her face looks a little shifty and odd. I say, "Yeah, your talking gibberish. I love you, babe." I then continue outside.

The dream become hyper vivid and realistic once I step out. I enjoy and clear and clear my dream sight is as I walk around. I decide to practice my flying and float up off the ground a few feet. It becomes very windy now and I notice how warm and nice the air feels. As I float up, I look past my house and see a section of the old downtown buildings in the distance. I notice how in-focus it is and laugh because downtown is the other way.

I look around the near by houses and hope that my neighbors will see me and be impressed that I can fly. There is no one around so I let it go. I decide I am flying too slow, so I try a huge downward thrust with my arms to propel myself high up. I hear a low booming sound and find that I am lost in a clear blue sky; there is no ground in any direction.

The void over takes me, but I hold on. I imagine myself lowing down to the ground and feeling the impact on my feet. I begin walking back in the direction of my house until I can see it. The house looks different as I find myself walking up the step on to the porch. The front door is a pale pink color with mauve trimming. When I open the front door the house looks like a version of my parents old place. I decide to try my painting again imagine the art supplies are in the closet under the staircase. I think, Ok, now I just need my easel As I reach for the closet door, I wake up.

#282 - DILD - 6:03AM

I have another short LD but I fall back to sleep before I can record it. Unfortunately, I completely forgot it after this dream.

I find myself standing in a very small kitchen deep in thought about the LD I just had. There is an older woman cooking at the stove with her back to me. I realize she is talking to someone. I hear my ex respond. She is standing with her back to a fridge next to me. She says something about how people keep dumping blankets and stuff at her job.

I suddenly remember I am dreaming but feel awkward so I don't move or say anything. Her brother walks up from around the corner and stands on the other side of my ex. He looks at me and seems happy to see me. I am shock about this so I just smile and nod. The thing I notice the most is how clean cut and nicely dressed he looks. His beard is neatly trimmed and he got rid of all that neck hair. We say hi like old friends.

I finally reply to what my ex said about her job, "Yeah. Well, people are bitches." We all laugh and I give a nervous glance to the woman at the stove that I now perceive as their grandmother. My ex says something and I have to ask her to repeat. It was something like, "Yeah, I hear ya."

I begin to feel bored with this scenario so I rebel against the dream. Say to my ex, "You're a fucking whore anyway." I laugh like I am just joking. Her and her brother laugh with me. I start to walk away and see a clean spot on the fridge as I pass. The white empty space reminds me of a canvas and I FINALLY remember my goal. I say, "Oh you know what? I was going to do a painting." I wake.

#281 - WILD - 4:57

I WILD and transition again. The music is back but I am more interested in seeing. The dream is very unstable and I have to crawl in the dark looking at the hardwood floor. I see three women sitting in the floor watching TV. I begin to feel menthol's side effect and reach out to one. I imagine her naked next to me but something doesn't feel right. I reach for a second one and pull her head first toward me. I proceed to throat fuck her. Some embarrassing and odd things happen, then she vanishes, leaving blue rags to clean myself with.

#280 - WILD - 4:45

I WILD after falling a sleep then waking. I feel as if I am falling. There are mild vibes. I transition and start to go into the living room but notice the there is someone in the bathroom. I enter to see small boy brushing his teeth on a step stool at the sink. I ask who he is but he only answers by spitting in the sink. I pick him up and start to carry him out of my house but the more I look at him the more he turns into my son. I stop, "Oh. Ok. Well you go ahead then." I begin to hear some kind of oldies music but ignore it.

I leave the bathroom and make my way into the darkness of the house to head outside. I have some vision trouble and a point where I felt like I was opening my physical eyes but was clearly seeing parts of the living room. I go with it and go out.

I stabilize with my hands as I walk around. The only thing I can see is where the moon light is hitting spots on the ground through the tree limbs. I look up at the moon and I see a hyper detailed, crisply focused full moon. I pause enjoying the visuals as silhouettes of butterflies flutter in place. There is a brief void then, I see birds taking flight from tree branches toward the moon. I wake up unexpectedly.

#279 - DILD - 4:02AM

I fail a WILD and find myself cleaning an area at work. It's a small desk with a computer and printer. I notice how unbelievable sparse the office space is and worry that it looks like I haven't been working much. I have stray thoughts about lucid dreaming and suddenly realize I was trying to WILD. I laugh when I realize that I must think about this stuff all the time.

I leave the desk and explore this strange version of my workplace. The building is mostly empty and there seems to be no one in sight. I have an overwhelming feeling of loving my job. I feel happy to be at work. I shout out, "Hey! I love it here!" I get the familiar feeling of how odd it is to be yelling while I'm asleep.

I see L sitting at a low table. I have issues with him in waking life and my first instinct was to punch him in the face. I remember that I have been thinking and tentatively practicing loving kindness in waking life, so I stop myself. I decide to project loving kindness to ward him but I over do it. I tackle him in a hug and tell him that I love him. I tell him he is really a good guy and I begin to really believe it. I think maybe I just misunderstand him. The dream destabilizes and I have a FA.

I try to DJ the dream but I can't see the screen. I think I must have my dimmer all the way and I try to guess at the app controls hoping to turn it up. Suddenly, I feel very tired and sluggish. I collapse over to my side. I hear the dog in the master bathroom and know that she is never in there. I realize I must still be dreaming. Then I hear my younger daughter calling for me and my son beginning to cry. I keep telling myself this is all fake but I can't seem to move. My wife touches me and asks me if I am ok. I wake up.

Well I don't feel I should add the near WILD and DILD to my count Screw it. A lucid is a lucid. Even if I'm not happy with my LDs, I had an CRAZY wonderful morning of dreaming.

Prebed: moderate amount of beer
WBTB: Galantamine 8mg, Choline 400mg, Alpha GPC - 200mg

4:37AM - My Assassination

I am a woman in a red dress and I feel as if I am beautiful and sexy. I need to leave my house but there are people trying to kill me. I have a team of body guards around my house with guns. It's time to leave but we know there is a sniper someplace in the hills. My house is open with lots of glass but there is an exterior wall that I'm going to use as cover. When I go out I catch a glimpse of the sniper. He sees me and I duck behind the wall. A bullet chips off some of the top brick. I run for it from the end of the wall to a tree and bushes. I hear gun fire and dive for cover. Somehow I take a bullet to my lower back on the left side. The pain is horrible! (This is the worst dream pain I have ever felt. Or at least I perceived it that way.) I lie face down in agony and rage. I repeatedly shout, "KILL THE SON OF A BITCH!" As I lie there with my eyes closed, I think, This is how I die. And I accept that. There are some more random thoughts and images as I wake up.

5:52AM - WILD - Vibes

I wake from a dream I do not recall. A failed WILD attempt. I go back into WILD mode and get vibrations. I spend a lot of time floating and turning with strong vibrations but I can't seem to do much with it. I become bored and annoyed so I try something different. I wait in the void and relax my mind focusing on meditative awareness. Soon the vibes stop and I wake up. I try to WILD again but fail.

The Metallic Werewolf War

A non lucid dream forms. My wife and put my son in something like his high chair. I look up and we are in some class room. There is a young woman arguing with some monstrous, metallic, transformer looking, werewolf about the war between there kind. The woman keeps pointing out the atrocities committed against her people and the werewolf keeps countering with, "But it was WAR."

I think about the war and the dream changes. I am in some post apocalyptic area. The buildings are rubble and the sky is black with smoke. I see the woman, who I now realize looks like Maggie from Walking Dead. Glenn is next to her, but his left hand is a cannon made from nano-tech. He is shooting fiery energy at the enemy. I look at who he is shooting at and see that we are on top of what looks like a cobblestone version of a huge dam or fortress wall. There is a horde of the shiny black metallic werewolf creatures battling their way towards us. I wake up.

6:51AM - #277 - DILD - The Wine Bottle

I am getting gas. Someone pulls up in a flatbed pickup with various sticks and stones for sale. My wife wants to buy some for crafts but I tell her no. I tell her just go outside and look for your own for free.

I turn and now I am in a Wal-Mart. I see a bottle of wine on the shelf. The lettering is crystal clear but makes no sense. "ISOP?" Somehow this triggers lucidity. I am glad for it and I turn away trying to remember a goal. The dream that was so vivid and clear is now getting dark and blurry. I fight against it and begin rubbing my hands. I look down an isle but its just a blur of color now. I focus on my hands but its not use. I fall on my face into the void. I try to stay calm and focus on awareness. I tell myself that no matter what happens I will stay aware. I am falling and turning slighty. I wait.

Then I am fooled by a false awakening. I try recalling the dream in the dream (or was I wake?) but fall back to sleep.

Vampire Sisters

Now I am refinishing the hardwood floors of my house. I am nearly done and some vampire woman walk in on my wet floors. I am annoyed but they are fighting. Another vampire woman comes in and tells them to stop. She says something like, "We are not fighting each other, but our greatest enemy." Then she looks alarmed pointing at one of the vampires sisters. "What clearance did you give her?!"

I have a vision of a slice of supreme pizza on the floor. It some how represented the vampire sister in question. There are alien looking arthropod beings long tongues or labrum like a mosquito. They put their labrum into the pizza. I get the feeling like they are some how infecting her mind or possessing her. I wake up.

8:25AM Tidal Wave

I am at a rocky beach with my wife wading into the ocean. I keep reaching into the rocks and pulling out oysters. I easily pry them open and eat them raw. The third one is ridiculously huge and the texture is like the cheese on a pizza. The taste is like canned oysters. I try to get my wife to eat one but she is grossed out and scared of what might be in the water. (She would) I think about that and say I am only scared of sharks. My wife screams and I look. There is a huge tidal wave coming in at a slow motion. The effect makes it see even bigger. We run a fast as we can as the water comes rushing in behind us. Water is at our feet as we get into a random car. I am trying to start it as the water takes us and the car away. I wake up.

Fragments

Horrible acne

I am tilling the garden