JoannaB

Two work related fragments, one about my actual current job and one in a different job setting, both about database work:

In my actual current job I dreamed that I had taken over a task and the person requesting it changed to unreasonable expectation: wanted it done by a precise time every week, and this task required me to request DBA to run a script which I do not have access permission to run, and thus to mining was not in my control, and yet the expectation seemed to be that I would be responsible. Out of some reason in my dream this script had to be run manually and could not be automated to ensure precise timing. In my current job precise timing does not matter like that in waking life. The request seemed petty.

Another fragment this one from a job which I neither have nor have had yet, also required running a script with data administrator permissions, but in this dream I actually had the database permissions to run it. My boss assigned the task to me, and person requesting it wanted someone else to run it as routine and me just as backup. Why? Because this other person had routinely run such scripts before, whereas I had not. I argued that what's so hard about running a preprepared script: you open it up, and press Execute. Person requesting it: yes, but have you run such a script before? Me: No, because I have not had these permissions before, but I have run many other scripts, and it works the same way. Also even before I had the permissions I had full understanding of what such a script does just no permission to run it. I did not persuade the other person.

Side note: I just had two job interviews which did not result in job offers, and thus I continue my job search. Self confidence is essential to a successful job search, and I struggle with it at times.

Interpretation: Even though in both dreams the requestor is an external person, I think that in actuality what those dreams are about is myself having unreasonable expectations of myself and blaming myself and not having enough confidence in myself - being too hard on myself and not self-assured enough.

Interestingly enough every job search I ever had went like that, and I am not successful until I accept myself, and thus present myself in a way that others can accept as well. The question is just how quickly will that happen this time.