DarkestDarkness

23rd April 2021

Fragment:

I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

(recall gap)

Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

(gap)

A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.

---

Notes:

Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

- It's curious that rabbits are the second rodents to recently appear in my dreams. The first were rats in a semi-recent dream and they too were filthy or unclean in some sense of the words. Until I wrote this DJ entry out, I had entirely forgotten that rabbits are rodents.
-- They looked like the rabbits in places from WoW like the Tirisfal Glades and the Plaguelands.
-- I have always found a certain appeal to those zones in the game, they feel peaceful to me despite their gloomy and sickly ambience. Typing this out makes me realise that it's probably a bit unusual.

- On reading one of the books I have about dream symbology (I like to do so for interpretative inspiration sometimes), one thing noted about rabbits is that town people may mistake rabbits for hares and vice versa in dreams. Thinking about the dream, my instinct is to refer to them as rabbits, but in fact, they must have been hares based on their sizes as they were certainly not bunny sized. This makes some sense under that, as I have always been mostly a town dweller and even while awake, if I see a hare I'll likely think "rabbit!" before I think "hare" verbally.

- The undead in general have never frequently appeared in my dreams. I can't really recall many instances where there is undeath in some sense. I have never felt a particular fear of the undead despite my religious background and despite being aware that there are some things "similar" to undeath, but not in the traditional mythical sense.

- All of the things from this dream felt very desaturated, pale.

- There are a lot of stereotypical "underworld" symbols appearing in my dreams recently, I feel. It wouldn't be the first time but it may feel more pronounced lately since I'm establishing casual links between them. Perhaps some kind of subconscious world-building.

- The city made out of cathedrals was magnificent. The stained glass in the pathways was plain but made for a beautiful patterning effect. The whole area had a feel very much alike environments from Dark Souls, but more modern and casual and taken for granted in the dream as part of day-to-day existence, perhaps in the same way that I may take houses, office buildings and skyscrapers for granted in waking life.

31st March 2021

Fragment:

I am somewhere underground, dark. It's like BL but not quite. Someone has discovered a hack or made a mod that lets you directly access certain game stats. I become a lycan creature and find that I can easily mine through the rock in one hit with my claws.

I look for and find gold ore which is also mined easily. I sometimes stumble into large and more open cavern systems. There seem to be bottomless pits in places and in the distance there is light sometimes, lava or something I think I assume.

There's some recall of interacting with other people or characters and a big sequence about conversion (into an energy form) in some cathedral-like place that reminds me of a map I made a couple of years ago, but recall is mostly gone.

(recall gap)

Something about Picard getting into a confrontation with some aliens where the Enterprise is disguised as a vessel like what these aliens have. They don't trust him and they realise the deception. The captain makes some kind of plea in order to try and avoid them from going further towards human space but the aliens seem unwilling to compromise.

Then something about the Enterprise and its crew needing to be offloaded somewhere while the ship is repaired. The captain is on Earth trying to find a suitable temporary location for a camp?

Notes:
- This fragment was from waking up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep very easily, I think I was too hot. I did not recall any morning dreams.
- When I woke up, I remember I was thinking about M/M stuff and a server I joined recently, but I'm not sure why. There was no link with the dreaming, that I can tell.

Interruption to the DJ catch up to put one from the past night. Some particularly detailed dreams, but I ended up having so much initial recall of so many dreams that in the end I let go of many and only made notes of a couple. Of note is the fact that last night I took for the first time a multi-vitamin B complex. It somehow did increase dream vividness far beyond what I expected.

---

2nd August 2020

Dream:

In space. In a game like Freelancer, flying a ship with a similar camera view as the game would have. I am on a server and I interact with some other people, but it's a small and private server.

I remember at some point discussing something with someone and then bringing up a list looking at all the potential guns and turrets there were. There were Nomad weapons that went by names such as "Redeemer" and came in three different marks. I remember thinking that it was silly to call it redeemer because there should be a Class Ten weapon using that as an acronym. The turrets list was like a "give mode" menu too, but I didn't have access to that function.

Everything was so detailed, I remember asteroids and distant nebulas and overall the sense of scale was just about right. I'm not sure I flew with a specific aim in mind but I found a Klingon wreckage of a Warbird or something. I shot its turrets so that I could loot them, and I wanted to do so quickly so that someone else couldn't interrupt me or steal them from me.

Then very close by was a station where I landed my ship. I got out but don't remember doing so physically, and then was inside the station. It was like a hospital mixed a bit with an office, and now the server people were here with me as a group? But something has a Farscape feel to it. Seems poorly lit or dark, but visibility is OK.

I forget some details but eventually H is with me at some point and we are waiting at the end of some hall. There are other people here, just sitting on some kind of benches, all waiting same as us. It was like a lobby? The light here mostly comes from the floor, a bit blue-ish, not even just a cold light, actually blue-ish. There are some commercial type fridges with the metal framed glass doors and they have cans of drink in them and I open one of them behind someone and fiddle with or organise some cans.

Then eventually we go through a doorway. We're outside, it's day time, slightly cloudy but bright though I didn't notice shadows properly and we are visiting a church here to do some work. The transition into this area was perfectly seamless.

The church was unusual, it was very open and seemed to be in the ruins of a massive old cathedral, some parts more ruined than others. But overall there was no "ceiling" to speak of and it was an open church. I could hear the wind and the leaves of tall trees surrounding the area, I could hear this very clearly in the dream.

The floor was all just grassy turf and there was no flooring really, but there were brand new things and some old things here in the main congregation area of this new church. There was a wooden house of some kind, which was full-size and looked just like the typical thing seen in a nativity, just bigger effectively.

But two kids were following us, they seemed curious. Though I got the feeling from H it'd be better if they weren't following us, so as we approached a wall panel between some old pillars, we went behind a wooden carved statue of Jesus. The statue featured prominently the colours red and blue on the clothing, and His hair was curly and dark, as was His beard. He did have a crown of thorns, too. The colours seemed a bit worn but probably better than could be expected for something out here in the elements.

Anyway, H pushed some panel behind the statue and we went through and it shut. Though the structure was very open, this didn't really limit the kids following us, but it made it more difficult; H then went around more sneakily trying to just get past them or spook them or something. Either way, the whole time H seemed to know what he was doing and I just followed his lead as with any normal job.

One of the kids was gone at this point, but the other one remained and followed more closely now; his father or grandfather appeared and was trying to convince him to go back with him, but the child seemed insistent in following us and seeing what we were doing. The man apologised for the behaviour, clearly nervous and feeling a bit foolish in some sense. I did not mind him or the kid so much at this point.

Eventually we are on a rooftop part of the old cathedral building. It's high, but not as high as it would have been on top of the actual cathedral; I got the sense that this was a secondary, inner, chapel, built to be inside the cathedral itself. We got on the rooftop simply, because the grassy terrain ramped up to it, I recall. It's all leafy and there's lots of Autumn-coloured leaves on top, a contrast to the green grasses from earlier. I remember stepping on the leaves and feeling them under my boots, which made me more aware of what I was wearing. I remember walking over and maybe stepping on a dead sapling that was growing here. Its wood was dark and bendy.

Somehow it's a truly beautiful area and scene but I don't think or realise this in the dream.

As we get near the opposite end I become concerned and tell everyone to stop. The roof slopes down more quickly ahead and there are no leaves. I start to realise the danger of being on a roof more than before. I tell H, "there are no tiles here, we'll slip right off". So in agreement we start to walk back. I had thoughts of the kid falling and didn't want to feel responsible should something happen, but I also think about how the parent/grandparent would feel should such a thing happen.

At this point my fear of heights seems to kick in a little and I stick more toward the inner edge, where there's a vertical structure jutting out the middle of the roof; I step up on a stone ledge of sorts and as I keep walking back with a tight grip on some stone stuff, I start to realise there had been a music playing for quite some time, in a quick crescendo now. I could hear a jackdaw or crow cawing for the same amount of time too. These sounds were immensely beautiful and as they became more and more vivid I eventually woke up.

Dream Fragment:

Only made brief notes of this one. Dream about visiting a therapist to treat some narcolepsy (that I do not suffer from in real life). I basically kept falling asleep throughout this dream and having different dreams within the dream. In the last part, there was some joint therapy dream thing about recognising that I was asleep, and we had a timed round to shoot enemies and shoot their limbs off with guns.

Then an old skeleton is under some bushes or canopy on some grass. It was Kerrigan's skeleton? The front of the skull was missing or smashed, but some of the lower jaw mandible was intact. Someone took off what was the bones of a tail part of the skeleton and then I or someone else tossed the full skeleton towards someone, Sol, I think? She suddenly had to go though, and we all criticised her for doing this every time.

Scraps:

- A small Spartan-like nation? They had a strong military that seemed American in some sense and they were testing some nuclear weapons and special bullets. It was sunny. Lots of concrete structures.

---

Notes:
- There sure is a lot to make note of here, and I didn't even record all the detail of the first dream fully, it would have taken me too long and most of it is ultimately filler in some sense. But I greatly enjoyed that dream's experience.
- I probably remembered scraps of at least five long dreams in total, but all dreams were fairly vivid. They also all felt like they changed very quickly.

- In a between-period of sleeping and not sleeping after my initial waking up, I tried to focus my mind on drawing but did not have any dreams relating to that or art in general.

- The children following us were both boys, probably between the ages of 6-10. I don't remember having a great look at them, mostly because they followed us from behind most of the time.
- This first dream is the longest dream sequence I have dreamt of for quite a long time now.

- In the second dream, the skeleton was whole, all joined together, something that I know in waking life is impossible except if it had been put together as a museum piece of some kind. The bones were particularly yellowed and somewhat pitted.
- The guns/shooting thing probably came about from playing KF quite a bit with H lately.
- The weapons-testing in the scraps dream likely came about from a general enjoyment of controlled loud noises and explosions (despite their dangers and harmful nature).

- The therapist figure seems to be recurring a little recently. I think it's part is an inner representation of a guide because I have often sought help from therapists for guidance with the psychological side of life and because I've had some good ones, I suppose I feel on some level that they can be very useful guides, even when they say things I'm not happy with or don't agree with.
- This type of figure is also ironically likely to be the antithesis of my frustrations with healthcare systems; these dream therapists actually care about me and there is no payment or any such thing involved, there is a genuine feel of interest in helping me as if they were devoted to that.
- The narcolepsy and the falling asleep thing may have been subconscious cues about dreaming reality.

Non-dream stuff - Woke up about 3 times through the morning, between 8:20, the time for my alarm, then at 9 something then at 10:20. Some long-ish dreams but think they've fragmented.

---

Fragment 1:
At a square or cathedral. There with partner (H), something to do with pipe organs.

Then outside, at the square. Nice cobbles and layout. Remember meeting up with my parents and having them ask why I didn't have a stand here selling old coins; I remember explaining that I'd worked out that the cost to make them look new, plus the cost to rent the space, plus other things I don't remember now, meant that it was far too expensive and not worth it at all. I also remember explaining that I didn't have nearly enough coins to make it worthwhile.

Then at some version of my childhood home with my parents. At the rear balcony of the flat. Things look blocky like a voxel game. I remember blue leaves and yellow logs. We were on the 6th or 7th floor, judging by the height.

Fragment 2:
A friend of ours, M, was buying crap again.

Fragment 3:
At some sort of flat. Don't remember what lead up to this scene anymore.

There was a tongue and lips art sculpture thing on a wall. Then it became a bit more real and I then remember a giant furry outside the flat, peeking in. I remember the fur was white and the eyes were blue. I think it was a girl and she said something.

---

Some notes:

• The appearance of my parents and the questions about the "coin stand", has to do with how they often want me to try and do something else, since they are concerned I won't be able to support myself. This type of appearance in a dream is perhaps validating their concerns in part. When I was awake in bed I remember thinking about carpentry again.
• Being at the cathedral with H seems to be merely a reflection of recent events, as I help H with pipe organ work.
• Both the first and the third dreams were a lot longer, and I woke up sweating with the third dream; this has been happening a few times recently where I wake up sweating at about 10:20 with vivid-ish dreams. Generally being too hot is what makes the dreams vivid, as far as I can tell. Unfortunately it also means my mind is a bit more active when I'm actually awake, making it easier to forget details.