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    false awakening

    False Awakening

    1. clxvi. Nature; Man with a shotgun ,Ancient book, Mall/school hybrid, Mansion and mountains

      by , 09-15-2020 at 01:36 PM
      15th September 2020

      Fragment:

      Think I have no body, I'm following or the view is following a man going around a natural park or lake. He has an AA20 shotgun and he keeps firing it randomly, but mostly at the ground. I feel concerned about stray shots hitting someone. It seems there's nobody else around though.

      By the end there's a gravelled car parking area. At some point after that, it's revealed the man was supposedly firing blanks (but they weren't).

      Dream:

      Part of a long dream. Something about a mall, but it's also a school? It's really busy and I am trying to get somewhere specific. I remember talking to someone but I go up several staircases and walk around an upper level, trying to avoid busy routes, but still encountering a lot of other pupils or something.

      I get to an internal bus station of some sort? A transit hub, at any rate.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm following a person around, in an office-like place. We're in a stairwell, we go down several levels, spirally, but the tiers and bends are all perfectly square and large, the steps themselves aren't too deep. I remember seeing doors every so often. There are engraved plaques, made of blue granite, engraved with counter-relief lettering that's got a golden finish.

      We reach floor "-2", I notice this written on a plaque. I look out a big latticed window and see another building across the way, not far (a few feet), lit by sunlight. I think about how -2 must be code, or only locally relevant, since I knew and could see we were several stories up. The place has tall ceilings, I realise this more because of the large window. The stairs had a running carpet all the way along and it continued on into the hallways. The walls were covered in a medium-dark stained wooden panelling.

      We go into a room here at this level. Very vague recall of the room. There's a desk? A book? The book is ancient. There is a magical aura to it, but this is almost unclear in the dream, I realise this only on waking up. The ancient book has tattered and yellowed pages with coloured-coded and symbol-coded separators. The books' nature means they are constantly shifting in appearance (almost like a "quantic" book of some sort?). I remember opening it and reading some part of it but no recall of how it looked, other than the fact that things shifted around.

      Fragment:

      False awakening in our bed. I find snot on my shoulder? Apparently it's H's. My recall of the room is very vague, but the darkness was warmer in tone than it should have been and there seemed to be an absence of any light sources.

      Fragment:

      Related, or in sequence to, the office dream. Big mansion place, outdoors. Large open gardens area, I remember some hedges but not much else. The mansion had an oblong rectangular shape; ovoid at the lateral ends?

      First I'm visiting the mansion but then later in the dream I take ownership of it or something. Everything goes wonky after I own it, and I have to go around on foot in some mountain crag areas to find power sources and set traps.

      Then at some point I move the entire mansion so that it sits level. I feel myself do this with my hands physically and remember seeing it from above, but no other senses suggested that I was of gigantic scale.

      It's daytime out here and it's half bright but not, it's cloudy and overcast but there are godrays in the distance. There's a sort of moody feel, like a literal storm is approaching. The light and atmospherics look grey but golden and warm, in part because of the distant godrays. I see them near some mountains in the distance, past a vast body of water. The mansion was atop a cliffy area overlooking this body of water. A massive lake or small sea.

      I remember several small fragments of being in the house. Interactions with dream characters but during my initial notes I don't really care to recall most of them. Some early ones about being interviewed and recruited as a doctor. There was someone else attending the same things as me, in alternate pace, it was an older snobby woman, also applying.

      Scraps:


      (in waking life) Went back to bed after answering the door. I had many dream scraps but almost all of them faded. I tried getting back to sleep and tried to focus on my intent to go back to the earlier dream, especially the bit about being hired as a doctor, as I thought this may help with becoming lucid. But my intent faded and I transitioned in and out of lesser states of awareness.



      Notes:

      - There's a great deal of internal and deeper themes here for me, especially around school, malls and office-type spaces. Some of these dreams felt like they were focused on consolidating my knowledge of certain features within buildings. In recent months I have felt that in drawings, my attention to detail in architecture is not well internalised and after recall these dreams I felt my associations of different features in buildings were expanded.
      - Despite the crowds in the mall/school hybrid area, there was no covid pretext to any of my concerns about avoiding people. It was a mostly back-to-basics thing about not wanting to be in crowds.

      - The view of the mountains and vast water was very picturesque; although I'm not sure of it being related in this case, on waking it did remind me of a picture we have on a wall of the bedroom, depicting an Italian lake.

      - The ancient book was one of the most interesting features of these dreams. It's something I feel compelled to recreate in some artistic form now.
      - Again its appearance may have been related to the fact that I have not internalised the details of books very well, which shows whenever I try to draw one from memory.
    2. xcv.

      by , 03-06-2020 at 05:28 PM
      Woke up at around 6:30 in the morning from a dream. Had other dreams later but was too tired to make even small mental notes of the details, so no recall for those dreams.



      Dream and awakening:


      I woke up in the dream, I was apparently sleeping on a bed with dad. It looked like some version of my bedroom in the old place but it looked like my parent's room a bit too. I was too hot and the covers, the bed, etc, everything felt too hot. I got up and saw this big red fan heater H has, it was on the floor next to the bed.

      I woke dad up and asked him why the heater was here and why it was on. I thought of turning it off but for some reason didn't. I concluded from looking at the heater or something else that the room was at 49C. I felt particularly unwell and remember shortly walking about the dream room before I woke up in reality. I don't remember sweating, just exhaustion really.

      In reality H was pressed a bit too much against me and I felt that the bed was far too hot. I thought we might have left the heated blanket on through the night, but seemingly it was off. I went for a wee that I didn't realise I really needed, after H also got up because of the noise I had made stumbling around.


      Notes:

      - This type of dream is very typical for when I need to wake up for some biological reason, in this case needing a wee.
      - Being in the same bed as dad was common when I was a child; I'd often get into bed with my parents in the middle of the night, usually sleeping between them. But I can't really remember why I did that anymore or what made me wake up in the first place. I don't recall any negative emotions from back then.
    3. lxix.

      by , 01-18-2020 at 01:11 PM
      Dream Fragment:

      I was at my old home or some version of it. I was at the entrance hall and it was a bit dark but still daytime, suggesting it was the time just before sunset. H was there, but H looked like this actress from a TV show instead. She was crouched up in the middle of the room, in front of the dark stained wardrobe and I crouched next to H and started to cuddle, giving her a kiss and feeling how different her body was compared to what I should remember.

      There is a transition and I'm outside, it's daytime but probably more around noon now. I remember walking by a few places that were altered from how they should be, namely D's building and its entrance. There were quite a few people there and I remember making small talk for some reason, but no idea what about.

      I kept wandering the streets of my home town and eventually after going through a few streets that don't exist and a wall turning into an open street, I started to become sort of pre-lucid and gained some dream-control, not consciously thinking about it. There was a square or plaza of some kind, surrounded by short two or three story buildings, as expected, and people were just going about their business. But I wanted to feel alone and solemn in this place for some reason, so I snapped my fingers and most of them disappeared. A woman and her young boy didn't.

      I snapped again, wanting rid of her from the scene. She wouldn't go. She walked up to me and started becoming antagonistic and asking why I wanted her to go. I didn't explain myself (perhaps I didn't know why either) and I eventually conceded and said "fine, if you won't leave, then I will", so I walked away across the plaza and into a small tunnel lit with fluorescent lights and as I did, she paced up quickly behind me, pushing me against a corner, hurting me, and twisting my right arm and gripping my bottom.

      She said something that I can't remember word for word, which basically summed up to be about how I often am careless with caressing and cuddling H (making me cause pain by complete accident), and despite the pain she was inflicting on purpose, I laughed at its irony. In that moment, I felt a dire need to go to the bathroom, and I falsely woke up, then getting up from bed and going to the bathroom, and just as I sat on the toilet, I was in bed again, as if that was only imagined, but the urge to use the bathroom was suddenly gone.

      Then I woke up truly and double checked how I felt, realising it was all just very realistic dream sensation.


      Some notes:


      • This dream wasn't particularly vivid in terms of visual clarity but the physical sensations were quite strong overall.
      • The woman who wouldn't go was some sort of anima manifestation. Often it isn't so antagonistic but her look was distinct from previous appearances, mostly marked by her shoulder-long hair being black this time. Her face was more chiselled, too. It was simply a more raw and aggressive look in general; ironically enough, what I would expect from my home region.
      • Though I had some dream control, it was completely non-lucid. I could feel myself having some sort of pre-lucid thoughts but they didn't rise up enough for me to start gaining lucidity.
      • The woman's young boy reminded me of myself when I was younger, but his role in the dream seemed to be minimal. He seemed to be there pretty much just to characterise the woman as a mother, as he pretty much just went off playing in the street without a care for what was happening.
    4. xxiii.

      by , 08-13-2018 at 11:47 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up at around 10:45 and started writing this about half an hour later. Several non-lucid dreams;



      Dream sequence 1:
      I was in a game, but it was a mix of reality and World of Warcraft. I was playing with one of my siblings I think and the area was like a place called Dire Maul (DM) in the game; it is an ancient elven structure or city and the most prominent feature is a Colosseum-like area. "Me" was level 57 and the dream's context was set in the original version of the game where the level limit was 60.

      We were at this place to kill some generic enemies, though in the actual game there would have been ogres here. But where we were at now there were vampires. I remember something about a quest to get infected by vampirism (this started to blend a bit with ES Oblivion) and I did by going into a dark hallway (the halls are very large in DM) and then left the area and went outside.

      I approached an exit to the area and saw a dead Wyvern past the exit archway, and I suddenly felt very wary of danger, and continued approaching this archway, then going through it and looking around carefully. The area on the other side was very open but it was like it hadn't been designed yet by the developers, as there was some jungle but generally it was very bare and flat, which it shouldn't have been. There was a Wyvern master and a Gryphon master, for Horde/Alliance factions respectively. There were some shop stands under a small covered area and they were selling some crafting recipes. They looked cheap and I knew they had limited availability so I bought some.

      Some sort of transition after looking at a preview item which was like a blue t-shirt with white stripes on the collar.

      Dream sequence 2:
      I remember walking down a pavement, alongside a road, sloping down. I was near a palace which I could see through metal fencing. I remember seeing Corinthian pillars with gold leafed tops. I was going to go in through the front, but then remembered I was carrying something for a dinner or party at the palace, so I thought I best use a servant's access lest someone complain at me for not using it. I did not feel like I was a servant, but a guest bringing something to add.

      I found the access further down the road and went in. Someone from the palace was here to greet me but otherwise there was a long queue over some zig-zagging ramp upward. I went past people, as I didn't have to be in this queue, but I noticed there was rubbish on the floor and I suggested to the person that came to greet me that I might pick up the trash and they said "no no don't bother" or something. It did bother me, as I hate seeing litter.

      Then maybe there was some sort of transition but now I could see a big climbing rope ladder thing, made of green plastic. It went up many many stories in height. I'd say somewhere between 6 and 8 and I started climbing it. At the top was a flat segment that then went into a tower thing. I went in there I think.

      Now there were more stairs and some more people from the palace were here to greet me, I remember an old black man with a nice smile. The stairs were not normal, neither was the inside of this tower. Everything was square. The steps were massively wide and made of thin wood, almost like they were made of veneered multi-layer plywood. I remember it was a bit of an effort to climb them and then I reached a final step, there were no more steps but the tower still went up. I looked at one of the people from the palace who was still near the entrance and they did something and suddenly the steps were moving, reorganising themselves into more climbing.

      Dream fragment 3:
      An instant transition, I think.

      Some like a false awakening. It was dark and I was in our real bathroom, though things looked a bit off. I was naked, which matches the way I sleep, but I remember noticing I had two extra genital organs. I was either sitting on the edge of the tub or in it. For some reason I started playing with myself until I reached a climax though I did not feel any real excitement doing any of it, more just curiosity about the extra organs.

      I remember putting on clothes for some reason before leaving the bathroom and then going back into bed.

      There was another dream after this, though I don't remember it anymore because of the time its taken to write all of these... I did do reality checks after I actually woke up while doing regular morning stuff before sitting down to write.



      Some notes:
      • The first dream is very typical and it's the kind of dream where I find it really difficult to notice things as being "odd" because of the context. Everything that's "odd" just feels normal, since it's a game.
      • I'm not really certain what happened with my sibling in that first dream, as I didn't see them again after the first part.
      • I've forgotten a lot of details about the both the first and second dream, but I remember that it was day-time apart from inside some sections in the first dream which were in the large, dark, hallways of DM, which were unlit in the dream.
      • I don't think I've ever had vampires in appear in a dream context before.
      • In the second dream, I think outside was sunny, but the road I walked down initially was covered by tree canopy, though I don't remember seeing the trees.
      • The setting of this second dream was somewhere like my native country, but I'm not sure that I felt I was anywhere specific in the world. The scenes were all dream-generated, anyway.
      • I think what I was carrying was a large object though I honestly don't remember what it was. Maybe a large vegetable like a pumpkin or a giant turnip.
      • The third dream was quite unusual, as I rarely have false awakening dreams and the sexual side of it was unexpected.
      • Additionally, I did have some coffee last night before bed. A very weak coffee, which seems to help me with dreaming, and doesn't really make me not be sleepy anyway. Coffee doesn't generally make me feel "awake" in a way that is opposite to sleepiness, it simply makes me feel somewhat more focused.