• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    Memorable Dreams

    1. cccxciv. Quiet town, the cliff's edge restaurant and temple

      by , 06-27-2022 at 01:40 PM
      2022 June 20th

      Some in-line notes too.

      Dream:


      I'm walking through a small town that could be somewhere in my native country. Small houses, ground floor only. Trims and so on as expected. I'm with dad and cousin T. It's daytime, probably morning. Dad is taking photos and as we get to the top of a hill in the town, I see a somewhat breathtaking view of distant rolling hills much like this one, with pink cherry tree plantations here and there, interspersed with some vivid green leafed trees of similar size.

      I tell dad he should hurry up to get to where I am, so he can take a photo. As time passes, the landscape or the point of view seem to change (I might be walking down the other side now) and I fear he won't be able to get a clear and unobstructed shot anymore. I lose track of my cousin. At some point she was telling dad about these aliens that live here with the villagers, whom she calls "Aarkvaads", but dad misunderstands that those would be the villagers rather than the aliens.

      (recall gap)

      Me and dad arrive at some rustic old restaurant. We climb up some stairs and take a seat at a table by the stairs and by a window. Daytime seems consistent with before but it's relatively dark in here due to the windows being a bit short in height. A guy that reminds me of G from school but who is a unique character, comes up to the table; he's our server. (Can't recall the dialogue)

      I need the bathroom now and make my way down two flights of the wooden stairs. At the bottom, I'm not sure if I'm getting into the kitchen area by accident, but I go a bit further and find it is indeed the bathroom area. There's no outside light here, it's dark apart from some poorly placed and dim fluorescent tubes that are clearly too old. I think dad comes down too also looking for the bathroom. I go into this somewhat overly large and polygonal shaped room past a glass door that is barely frosted for privacy. The toilet is adjoining the doors' wall and the area feels dilapidated and unclean. I get ready to have a wee. I'm wearing my normal grey work trousers and it feels cumbersome to deal with everything.

      Then I somehow start worrying about the fact that dad can probably see through that pointless frosting. I think I have a short wee and then give up, then leaving the room with dad going past me to use the room himself. Something happens and he slips I think? (Mostly comical in nature if anything)

      Then, I'm at the mid level of the building, where the entrance is. I think I want to go outside? It's bright and different from before outside.

      (recall gap)

      I am outside and the restaurant is located at a sort of edge of a sedimentary cliff. Yellow-ish sandstone. It's sandy out here and there's no vegetation to speak of. It's an immense valley with sharp sand-dusted peaks. The server from before is out here, having a break or a cigarette. He's some kind of furry "bat boy" now, slightly taller than me. At some point earlier, I think there was something about a UI thing about choosing how he looked. Red is heavy to his colour theme and his fur almost looks soaked in dark blood, but not wet.

      We talk, or I overhear something. Something about a rebellion? Other locals that are with him have assault rifles, Kalashnikovs probably.

      Before this I think I actually had a bit of a walk around. There's this large plaza and some kind of Christian procession ritual is taking place. The entrance to the temple is where they want to go, and that's also (an?) the entrance back into the restaurant? They are standing still enough and I make my way through the very dispersed but neatly laid out small crowd, though as I get closer to the large doors the main ritual seems to be moving forward too. Not wishing to interrupt anything, I stop myself next to a tall older woman. It's daytime, about noon. The plaza reminds me of that in front of church of L. The walls to the side of the entrance are smooth eroded sandstone which bulge out every so often. (In retrospect, some of this sandy/rocky scenery reminds me of James' realm in Sacrifice, and as a God, James is perhaps more Christian in a sense than the other four)

      Now, when the rebellion thing is starting, the sky goes dark and there's a heavy blue tinted atmosphere, and for lack of better description, the stench of magic is in the air. I'm in a party with sibling T and notice he's at a location called "Crystallarium Caverns", not at all the valley location I'm in. He doesn't realise that we're in different locations when we talk via chat. Fighting happens around me and I look up over the temple/restaurant and see there's a female spellcaster. She seems to be wearing something slightly harlequin-like. She has an enormous book that in width would be the height of four people, and I see her enounce some kind of runes which make a visible effect coming out of the book as she speaks each one. She throws down fire magic at the rebels and around me.

      I start to get sick of her spellcasting and somehow reach my way up to her book (distortion of scale/point of view?) and then I hurl it down toward a much lower tier of the valley, intent on making it land in some water. But she uses some kind of TK to slow the books fall and it doesn't reach or touch the water. I think to myself that I should have jumped with the book. But as it rises back up, I can read its runes on a page now. Each page is organised as a kind of mandala with a number of circumscriptions for each rune. I try to read them aloud myself but I'm not sure about the pronunciation.

      I think eventually we beat the spellcaster woman, but the rest of the dream recall is lost after this point.



      Notes:

      - This dream was particularly vivid and part of that may have been due to the fact that I barely managed to sleep the two preceding nights, on one of which I felt to have had a brief dreamless sleep, which always makes me feel odd for the rare times it happens.
      -- Not sleeping was mostly on account of being ill.

      - The runes in the book remind me a bit of the node tree in FFX, which I've seen recently after this dream, but given that they appeared more like mandalas it may have been an intrusion either from a discussion I had with my mom or from something relating to Jung. Whatever the source, I have thought about trying to replicate the layouts I saw in the dream.

      - G and his bat form reminded me of Troy from BL3 for some reason. I think something about the posture and a drawing I did of Troy some time back. It's odd that it's the second time in not too long that I've dreamt about a bat character. Part of it may be an intrusion from the fact that someone's character I'm drawing lately is a bat, but it didn't feel especially related to that. (Different gender, different morphology/species)

      - In the second half of the dream, there was something about the Aarkvaad aliens that was relevant to the context, but through my recall of the dream, I couldn't really pick it back up and so I'm not sure how they actually related. Searching for Aarkvaad online didn't really yield anything interesting and past the dream's context is probably a mish-mash word that sounded alien enough.

      - The temple plaza felt very much like being in front of the actual church that it likely had inspiration from, which is interesting for the fact that I had that dream not too long ago where I was at a much more accurate version of said plaza/church. There was something more ancient and mythological about this dream's temple and the procession ritual that was taking place seemed to relate to that. In the dream part of my modern waking behaviour took hold where I was able to just go through the group without caring too much about the effect I might have on it, but as the ritual seemed to begin, my behaviour reverted to something more alike what I always learned to do, which in a sense is to give them space and not get in the way. I think as I walked there I thought about people who are careless and those who care too much, perhaps partly reflected in my responding behaviours.
      -- Also curious to the ritual aspect was the fact that I was an outsider to it, even though to me it felt very familiar and normal. I just had no place in it myself; perhaps a symbolic expression or metaphor in itself.
    2. cccxc. The dark entity and waking up post-apocalypse

      by , 06-24-2022 at 01:52 PM
      2022 May 31st

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm in Netherstorm, in Outland. It is an entirely dream-generated version of it but thematically consistent. I think about how it looks different with "the revamp" and I see people talk about it on a chat too. I go down a long path on a floating island with a downwards tilt, which seems to get steeper. The path curves around and goes into a cavernous area. There's an artificial pit that goes deep into the void and there's a presence here, who speaks. The structure in the pit here is very much like something right out of Icecrown Citadel, just sort of inverse.

      There's an ominous feel, though I do not feel worried myself. I think we discuss something about the world. Eventually, I leave, back up the same path.

      Then, I wake up as a white woman, in a bed in a room that's somewhat exposed to the outside. Some kind of global event has taken place that froze the vast majority of people in the world, who then, like me, wake up seven years later. I find out by talking to someone I think that all of us who had this happen, have become undead. More is explained to me (but I lost recall of it) and there's something about a king Henry. At several points, I question this a little, because I can't really tell that we are undead at all. And eventually my body is different/changes again. (but I don't realise while dreaming)

      Eventually, wandering the streets of this city, I come upon a group of people. They're beyond a wall slightly shorter than I am tall, but the wall also isn't that short (dream weirdness); the group of people is chanting as a group and they all look like cultist hobos. I pass through the wall like a ghost and they are surprised, and then I start shaking a pepper grinder ritualistically and they become very frightful of me and what I'm doing. I walk slowly towards them, and I comment out loud, almost laughing, "this is superstitious non-sense!" and they eventually run away in complete fear.

      Just nearby in this small street, which could be Japanese for how tight it is and some of the styling/layout, I meet Patrick Stewart by the entrance to a house. Patrick seems annoyed by what I did, but is apparently not holding it against me. We talk about something. I get the impression that he is not undead like me.



      Notes:

      - Writing this nearly a month later, the visuals are still pretty good, fairly memorable dream.

      - I made a sketch of the ICC pit shortly after having had this dream.

      - The undeath seemed to be like that which happens in the Souls universe.
    3. ccclxxxviii. Not stealing from me

      by , 06-24-2022 at 03:25 AM
      2022 May 23rd

      Unknown time
      Fragment:

      Something about going with H to meet up this businessman for some kind of financial assessment. Looks a bit like Goldfinger? We drive there I think.

      8:15
      Dream:


      I'm at a version of our home. A detached house in the middle of some woods. It's really dark outside, realistically pitch black. We have a lorry outside that we have been loading stuff into, for moving house. I go to it and check inside. I'm attacked by Meowth (Pokemon) who jumps off the lorry top to attack me. I grab him and threaten to break his neck if he doesn't tell me who else is here. He says something and I understand Jessy and James to be here too.

      I have a quick look around outside, but as I do, I see a red glow. They've gotten in the lorry and are going to back it up. I try to open the passenger side door, but a slightly fat man keeps trying to shut it so I just start slamming it open and shut so that he might lose grip, having no such luck. I decide to try and jump up on the bonnet. I do, and then I'm sort of sat there looking at the both of them. I think the other one is actually Jessy. I have my boots on and I use them to smash the two bits of windshield, then putting my feet through and starting to kick the crap out of the two of them, one foot each. This is all happening as they're reversing and driving around, now onto a roundabout of all places.

      I see three Humvees with military police with blue arm bands inside the cars and I repeatedly yell for help from them as I keep fighting the burglars with my feet, trying to indicate with my hands that they've stolen the lorry. The thieves are different people now (both male).

      The military police finally take position and aim at the lorry. I'm still kicking the thieves like hell. The police take their time but eventually start shooting. I take to opportunity of the shots hitting the lorry to somehow swing myself around and change the centre of mass for the lorry, making it topple on its side, passenger side at the bottom. One of the thieves gets out from the top and the police shoot him dead, making me briefly think about how close to me that was, but not dwelling on it.

      Possibly moving the corpse or something, I sort of get into the cabin from the top and start kicking and stomping on the second thief and yelling "Get the hell out of my truck!" and such like.

      Eventually, the thief gives up and is arrested. I'm not fully content with the outcome, having wanted them both dead, by my hands, or feet as it were.

      I check the back of the lorry now. Inside, the contents have all gone and there's just a long and thin compressed cardboard box that everything should be in, though nothing is actually inside. Eventually, I get back home and I'm talking to H about it. I ask if we can't get some insurance payment for all the stuff we lost but he says we haven't got any. I am disappointed but say with confidence we'll manage somehow.

      9/10:00
      Fragment:

      Subway, with someone. Some kid bumps us, he wants company? Then we get the kid to come round to some house or piano shop place, and we show him my dad playing the piano. Later I/we return to the same place, but dad doesn't remember the moment from before when it's brought up.



      Notes:

      - The long dream about the theft wasn't really a bad dream but it was quite vivid and somewhat intense.

      - Probably one of the most fun dreams I've had in a while, as even in the dream I did quite enjoy stomping on those thieves repeatedly. Even so, at the end I did feel very disappointed about losing so much of our stuff and being able to get nothing back for it.

      - My feet are rarely weapons of choice unless a situation really calls for it and I have my boots on, which in fairness is always these days.
    4. ccclxxxvii. Planet clipping, The Arab king and his knight, The orange nebula swarms

      by , 06-24-2022 at 02:53 AM
      2022 May 20th

      Fragment:

      Mix of NMS and Satisfactory. Exploring planets and looking around. Some general funkiness of generation clipping into itself. Then I build some gas tank thing on a planet and see about building a smoke stack on top, I think H is commenting something to me about this.

      Then I'm in the bathroom with H sharing a (false) memory of how they're going to add warp rifts and super drills and I figure they'll let you get infinite resources from procedural planets in this way. (I partly live some of this as I imagine the false memory)


      2022 May 22nd

      Dream:

      Some bit in a town. Dawn, or dusk, clear sky, quite beautiful colours. Slightly Arabic feel to the area, buildings painted fully in white. I'm walking around, or sort of spectating as an observer perhaps. There's a king who has a knight, possibly me. The knight has reached some kind of seniority and they talk as they walk together. Some kind of relationship subtext? Holding hands together?

      Then some bit in a fortified area, like a castle or barracks in the middle of this town. False memory of having trained here and such. I think it's night at the moment. There are many devices and traps part of the training course. Some bellows that are pumped with your feet that you must stand by or jump on? I talk to H about them (as if outside this area?)

      (recall gap)

      Like Freelancer now. The spacescape is more realistic and reminds me of remastered Homeworld. Most of space is dark in this area. There's a nebula nearby, large orange glow coming from inside. There are remnants of large framed mega structures insides, made more obvious by shadows cast by the glow, despite the otherwise foggy nature of it all. There's other debris in there too. I fly towards the nebula in first person on a ship. I fly past one of those asteroid stations, possibly like Ruiz base, in Omega-41? I don't think too much of it, but something is weird.

      I notice there's a clone of the base very close by, the name on the clone sounds like the right name, while the first one had a name like Event Spawner 03, which makes me think of something having gone wrong with a story or mission script. As I go into the nebula and into or through one of the mega structures, I start noticing some bio-metallic creatures, very geometrically shaped. They're small and start approaching me in numbers, turning into swarms eventually, starting to seem dangerous now as they keep approaching. So I turn around and head towards the station from before. I try to dock, but I get confused with the asteroid base entities. Anyway, after I manage to dock, it looks like a Rheinland station inside, and I walk around and maybe look at some equipment and stuff.

      (recall gap)

      Then something at a very different place, much more fantasy like. (unfortunately, recall was lost)



      Notes:

      - Two space dreams. At the time I had been playing or had recently played NMS after a long break from it, so that was a likely cause for them.

      - Dreams based on Freelancer and generally spun off general space sci-fi stuff I am particular about remain amongst the most interesting non-lucid dreams I have, certainly when discounting any further analysis like symbolisms and such. The general feeling of reality in these dreams tends to be fantastic and despite any weird stuff that might happen (such as the clipping, which happened in another space dream too, possibly after these), I often get a really strong urge to want to revisit these. I don't know what it is about them exactly, but I think part of it is that they are so refreshing when I think about stuff I have otherwise already mapped out fairly well in my head, especially in the case of Freelancer where I know most of its "Sirius sector" universe like the back of my hand.

      - On that note, having fully played through the remastered Homeworld a couple of months ago was a great contribution to this mental content, as the reworked spacescapes are just perfect for me, especially tonally.

      - I made a 3D scene of the mega structure part and the nebula, but I have not made a render of it as I was not satisfied with shadow-casting yet. I'll still tag this with the bonus image tag anyway.
      -- The little swarm creatures were not made for the scene, but I also sketched them and they resembled some little enemy things from Strafe.

      - The first part to the second dream was interesting. I have had a few other such dreams that have less focus on myself as a dream character, and they tend to have interesting themes, though I need to make the time to introspect on them a bit at some point, as I never do.
    5. ccclxxxvi. Stupid laughter, Out with family, Dark atmosphere and shop with family

      by , 06-24-2022 at 02:26 AM
      2022 May 13th

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm helping someone with a quest or something. We go into a portal thing which is between some humanoid mobs. It takes us to a reward dimension and there are five mounts, one for each player had we been in a full party. The mounts look like a snow plow/dozer machine. Orange or rusty tones? Once we get out, the other guy has already customised and decorated his "mount" and I think about doing the same when I get a chance.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a town somewhere, looks a bit like areas around old home. It's night time and there are sodium street lamps, though there is more colour distinction than they would allow for. I'm under a little covered bit, like the entrance to a restaurant or house, but it's unlit I think, taking care of laces on my footwear or something, when I hear the voice of M and that stupid laughter of his.
      (note to self, writing this, my recall of the dream has improved a lot as I remember the following negative moments)

      He's talking to someone and I hear them approaching along the street. I deliberately take my time now and look busy, avoiding looking at all and focusing on the laces. Then, when they pass close enough M sees me and says "hey onion hair" and laughs at me. I turn around toward him now and see he's sort of perching forwards on a dividing section. I feel annoyed, angry and threatened. So I swing a bag full of stuff at him, hitting him on the head. He barely flinches however and makes some sarcastic or mocking remark, I think indirectly, talking to this other guy who's with him.

      I try to compose all my stuff and go, struggling with a version of my tablet which is in A3 in size, trying to flip it closed. (rest of recall was lost)

      Later, I tell H about the encounter and says "I would have hit him" to which I reply "I did hit him", possibly in frustration.


      2022 May 16th

      Scraps:

      Something with family. Mom, dad and sibling T. Out somewhere? (recall was not retained because I left it for two days)


      2022 May 17th

      Fragment:

      I'm at some shops with siblings T and L and also dad. We're looking for some chocolate cake thing, one of those moist ones with sprinkles on it. Dad moves away in some part of this shop. I can't recall what's on display but me and my siblings are talking about foreskins or something. I picture something about it in my head.

      (recall gap)

      I am outside at some point. There's a very dark, heavy and moody atmosphere, all red and black tones/hues, a sort of mist or fog too. It's a city street of some kind? I remember tall buildings, but with no windows or anything. Just plain facades. (after waking from the dream, this made me think of Trove for some reason)



      Notes:

      - I hadn't had a dream with M (previously referred to as MB sometimes) for a while. I'm not sure anymore what could have prompted his appearance in this dream.
      -- Probably also one of few "bad" dreams I've had in quite a while too.
    6. ccclxxxii. The abandoned compound with strange animals and gems, New developments behind home

      by , 05-09-2022 at 11:20 AM
      2022 May 3rd

      Dream:

      I'm somewhere with H, at or near some kind of compound. His dad or a friend of his dad's is around too. There's something about precious stones in the compound, they spawn at random and in areas inhabited by some unusual creatures. It's not a nature reserve or anything like that, it's more like it's been abandoned despite still being apparently owned by someone. One of these strange creatures is a cat thing, the size of a dog and with more legs. It wants scratches but I'm wary of it, as it also wants to escape if given a chance, so I'm mindful about the door and my position. I consider that these animals may all be dangerous.

      I find one of the stones nearby and I leave. I somehow know it's worth 100K or so. I tell H and I feel proud and relieved, since it will be a huge help to us. I think to myself that we should make sure people aren't needlessly making this place known publicly or we won't even get a chance to get some more stones when we need the money.

      Later, a group of people who had also been getting gemstones is near an exit area. One of the people in the group is D, old school friend. Most of them seem a bit greedy, having hoarded many stones, rather than just getting one or two. I say to them that I can't see why they can't be more reasonable, and that I would always try to compromise when possible.

      (recall gap)

      Some other bit, also in some complex?


      2022 May 4th

      Dream:

      (Left recall a bit late)

      I'm at home with H. We go into the kitchen to do something. We're naked? I open the blinds and see a bunch of the neighbourhood kids out the back, some on the walls, others in the yard itself. (Quick note, this actually happened four days later, on the 8th)

      We motion from inside for them to get out and such, and then we go out a side door from the kitchen to the back, where the heart should have been. I lose track of H. In the yard, I see that some of the kids look a bit miserable, they're stuck in here by accident and I now feel sorry for them, and less upset about the fact they're here.

      Then, the back wall changes when I'm not paying attention. It's a cut-down wooden fence and I see loads of people around, playing around, having BBQs and so on. To my right, I see that we're on a sort of large plateau area and there are new apartment buildings in this area, some still being built. About twenty story high each. One has a green-ish and white colour scheme going. It's no wonder there are so many people here, I now feel. I feel annoyed and get into a sort of argument with a random woman, I think she was someone from school. As a character, I express confusion at all this and feel neglected. I ask why they built all this, why didn't the local authority let us know about any of it? And so on. I get unsatisfactory replies and just feel more and more frustrated.

      Later. At a supermarket inside a larger mall. (Like one in A but bigger) Initially I'm with H but then we split up because I need to go swap some pasta cheese ice cream thing. It looks like it has a blue cheese in it. Then, that woman from before again, she shows me some chocolate ice cream like knock-off Magnums. I try a sample or something, and so does she.
    7. ccclxxxi. A strange dream-life

      by , 05-07-2022 at 02:16 PM
      2022 May 2nd

      Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

      Some in-line notes.


      Dream (Fragmented):

      I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

      Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

      (recall gap)

      I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

      I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

      (The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

      I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

      As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

      Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

      Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

      As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

      Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

      Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

      (recall gap)

      Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


      Notes:

      - Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

      - This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

      - I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
      -- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
      -- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

      - The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

      - I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

      - The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
      -- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

      - Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

      - The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

      - The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.
    8. ccclxxviii. Visiting some people for a meal on a bright and cold day

      by , 05-05-2022 at 05:37 PM
      15th April 2022

      9:45
      Dream:

      In a somewhat surreal place. Daytime. There are some platforms? Doesn't seem like there's anybody else around.

      (recall gap)

      I'm at a dinner or lunch. It's sunny and bright outside, it looks a bit cold actually. The room isn't very big for a dining room and looks kind of bare apart from the table which fits in lengthways with the room. The window is a bit like the ones we have at home, double-glazed I think. Mom, dad and sibling T are sat at the table and I think I take a seat or am already sitting down too.

      Then some people enter the room I think, a man in his sixties and one in his fourties; the younger man is the other's son and has a wife who is also in her fourties. All of them are naked from the waist down and have unusually large genitals, two or three times what should be average. The wife has male genitals too, of such a size though she's otherwise average and modest. She has a faded blonde-ish-ness and her hair is tied back. I see all of this while being sat down but they are standing up and talking to us. The couple sits down next to T. Dad is sitting to my left and the other "dad" is serving me bits of food. It looks like we're mostly having meat, possibly mostly charcuterie at that.

      My small plate has some paprika-ish looking meat and then the older man cuts me some of those thin and long ones. Dad steals it from my plate and then the other guy makes a mock complaint while serving me some more, sitting down himself afterwards. Not sure what happens next, short gap in recall.

      I'm in the bathroom now, with T? The bathroom has a big double-glazed window down to ankle level or so, with no frosting or anything. I need a wee and try to do something about it but I also watch outside and see a doing being walked just near the window. There are other houses with large front-yard gardens very much like this one, no fences. All grass is neatly mown.

      After something, we're all leaving for us to go somewhere else. For some reason however, I stay behind and I think I watch the outside some more. It's different now or I'm at a different window, and see a street sloping down. Cobbled? I see them all go down this street, I think the hosts are actually fully clothed by this point. Eventually, as they get just about out of view, I decide that I should come with them too. Another short gap in recall.

      Then, we're at some kind of restaurant-like place. There are large tables and we walk over to one with six seats ready, but which would have room for eight or more people. There are other people in the restaurant and they're just sitting there. They seem to be staring at us and smiling slightly, I feel a little observed I think. The older man from our host group asks me if I want any crackers and I say yes. It looks like he's made himself a cracker with peanut butter on it.

      T seems to think this is a bad idea. I don't care and want to eat something, I think after having drunk some Schweppes or something. I'm about to eat the cracker, but my alarm goes off and I wake up.
    9. ccclxxvii. The McDonald's kiosk, interview to be a passenger

      by , 05-05-2022 at 04:31 PM
      9th April 2022

      9:30-9:45
      Dream (disjointed):


      I'm in a little town-ish area. Flat with a few green spaces. It seems clear or sunny but dim too somehow, like nearing the end of the day, though not colour-wise? I go towards a small building thing. It's supposed to be like a little kiosk but for McDonald's, these two things don't really seem related, almost. I pick up some order from a young woman, reminds me of A, H's sister. My order is in a big but strong brown paper bag and I check it over quickly.

      It all seems fine and I have awareness of having ordered a few happy meals menus. I walk away from the building with the bag, towards some stone stairs bit. Here, there's some dream-generated or popular character, and sibling T. They're sitting and we are about to start getting things out of the bag so we can eat here, but I suggest we should go up the steps instead and eat at one of the white tables up there. We go to the tables and they sit down. I open the bag now and get everything out. However, there's only 1 menu, which T takes.

      I feel confused, and then annoyed, asking him why he didn't order menus for everyone (implied to have been the point) and as he eats a bagel from his menu, he looks at me and does that smug shrug. I feel annoyed and go back down the steps and to that kiosk building. I get annoyed once more, as the woman has shut the shutters to the shop and is probably gone by now too. In my head, I think something about it being 3PM. I open the door to the building, and inside it looks like old home, the downstairs kitchen. There's a pressure cooker on top of the hob and I open it, finding nothing inside despite some expectation otherwise.

      I feel generally disappointed and annoyed. (Rest of recall for this part was lost)

      (recall gap, a late part of the dream?)

      I'm in a street and sitting down, talking to an unshaven Irish man (strong accent). He's a train conductor, and I'm being informally interviewed to determine whether I'm a suitable passenger for the city train he drives. I see the train in the background, we're sort of on a platform for it and there are people waiting inside the train. The Irish man is Catholic and as he's smoking a cigarette, he remarks something like "... thank God I don't follow it all to the letter."

      I mention my own Catholic upbringing and he seems to quietly appreciate this. When he asks about my general behaviour, I also tell him I won't be misbehaving or loud or anything like that, and that I tend to be quiet and out of the way in general. After a bit more talking and some other questions I can't recall, he then seems satisfied with me and I can now be a passenger on his trains. I get in and there's something about seat assignment that should be happening, but because I'm new there is no seat assigned to me yet. Then, I have some discussion with the driver about this, while the train goes into a subterranean area.

      He says something about refitting or remodelling the train in a few stops/minutes. Some man gets annoyed with the driver as he overhears this. The man says that he's late as is and can't wait that long. Then, something about disembarking with most other passengers. The conductor is down on the floor?

      (recall gap, unknown chronology)

      Something about a cyber man and cyber woman. They have a discussion about some memory. A third and younger cyber man checks his own memory for the event in question and confirms witnessing the details as relayed by the older man. The woman was lying, apparently. It was something about a loom of wires, part of an arm, and how it had been lifted. (?)

      (recall gap, unknown time again)

      Walking in a town, overcast. My hands feel very noticeably calloused and/or rough and I think to myself that it's the tenth day or something. I think that they're almost done forming the needed callus.
    10. ccclxxvi. Alter ego, Space empires, Undeground world, The strange monument

      by , 04-08-2022 at 01:54 AM
      28th of March 2022

      (I may add some notes at one point, especially if I draw the monument)

      6:00 or 7:00
      Fragment:

      I am my alter ego but my dorsal scales are pointier, like my character N. I'm at some kind of fair or public event. Eventually after a bit of walking around, I come to a wooden bench, where mom and dad are sitting. They each move over to a side and as they sort of part, this dwarf man is revealed to be sitting there too. He has a miserable look. My parents don't even acknowledge that he's there at all. I do at first and try to sit next to him and between my parents. There's some dialogue, but recall was lost.

      Unknown Time
      Fragment:

      In space, sort of game-ish and like Sins of a Solar Empire and Stellaris, in that you have starlanes for travel between stars (haven't played either in a while but think about it on and off when I see them on the library). I'm travelling with someone else, we're each on our own ships. As we travel and spend a bit of time wandering in a star system, the star suddenly starts to go nova. So I tell the other person we need to warp out of here now, and we head to the edge of the system, getting out just in time and travelling across nearby stars and seeing the explosion from this point. (Scale is similar to Sins)

      Some other bit where I'm planning a star fortress load-out, Stellaris UI. And some other bit about managing something in a star system, possibly in sequence with the planning.

      8:00 and onwards (order jumbled)
      Fragment:

      Climbing some eroded stone stairs. Some kind of natural or carved out limestone rock. Feels underground. As I go up the stairs, I leave behind random things, like statuettes of animals. There's also some animal following me? I don't feel attached to it however; it may be a bird. I remember an opening through which I can see a vast darkness but also underground "cliffs" and ravines. Maybe streaming water. The limestone has a beautiful creamy colour.

      Fragment:

      (Generally darker dream, both in lighting and mood) Dream streets, lots of people. Parts of the dream repeat themselves or I return to certain areas. The streets have shops, and there's a Japanese/neon-heavy feel. Something has a feel to it like Cybermancy.

      Some plot line about a group of people who are uploading themselves into a thing or collective. I am not especially interested or anything but I help them in some way and when they start getting persecuted by some assassins or something, I use a rifle, struggling on with it for a bit, until I realise I'm "missing a skill point" for it, which I then quickly put a point it. I aim at one of the assassin at point blank, as he aims at someone else with a firearm of his own. I shoot him in the head and he dies instantly. Then, twin female assassins (though not human) standing a few feet away and moving; I spot them and aim for the head, but miss my shot, hitting her in the back or chest, but she's not really harmed by the shot.

      She comes after me now and I apologise for not killing her with a single shot. I kneel, and expectantly wait for her to kill me. Something very Japanese in feel about this last bit.

      After I die, I think I return to a previous point in the dream and do other things, or differently.

      (recall gap?)

      Then, some place like L. I'm near a monument of some sort, in a large square, which in the dream I "know" about; there's a road around the monument? It's sort of rounded itself, but not at the front where the road is. It's clear and sunny and I think I'm with someone else at first, maybe family.

      The monument itself is a dream generated thing and the square reminds me more of France in some respects, although it definitely has the feel of L. I think there's an obelisk further away in the middle of the square. (I should draw this before I completely lose what little recall is left)

      Near the front of the monument and at head level, there's a wide gap that's not got much height to it, maybe two feet high in opening. Through it, I see some sunlight but mostly darkness, and this underplace seems to be full of dark earthy dirt and corpses, mostly skeletal I think, though I can't recall their state exactly.

      Then, as I circle around to the next corner, I climb some stairs. Up here, it's a relatively flat area which is a narrow-ish U shape. There are many stone benches, which are just part of the overall structure. Lavish and floral motifs, general renaissance or art nouveau aesthetics. The stone benches have fairly fancy cushions on them, of different and saturated-ish colours. People are touring and lazing about as in mostly any capitol-city style of a place. I head for a free seat at the bend/corner. The dream ends here, I feel just as something was about to happen.

      Edit: Somehow I had recorded the wrong date for this dream, corrected this now.

      Updated 04-30-2022 at 01:45 PM by 95293

      Categories
      memorable , dream fragment , non-lucid
    11. ccclxxii. Exploring a raid on my own, Forceful woman, Pipe dealer

      by , 03-20-2022 at 10:04 PM
      3rd March 2022

      Long dream, but I left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      Something like WoW but with more Korean-style game mechanics; progression, levels, gear, and so on mostly like Lost Ark. The areas have a similar feel to that game but it plays more like WoW. Then, I enter some end-game dungeon on my own and tell T about it, via PM I think. I figure that the dungeon is too hard for me to do alone and with my current gear. Looking in the map, I think at first that it's a small instance, at least until I realise there are other layers which are much bigger.

      I decide to explore the starting area of the instance a little bit, despite actually intending to leave. The place is a bit like a mix of Onyxia's lair and Molten Core. I explore a small rock tunnel, with a sort of high and triangular shape. This tunnel is next to a different tunnel which was the entrance. In the tunnel I explore, I find Hellfire orc engineers and a number of their landmines which are invisible at first. Not confident about my ability to solo this, I use a number of shielding abilities and area of effect (Paladin?). The mines do way less damage than I was expecting, not even taking my shields off.


      5th March 2022

      Fragment:

      H has a "Velvetiser" thing (his mom showed us this, recently) and H is using the machine. I can't see much of what's going on because I seem to be sitting down. In our kitchen?

      Fragment:

      Something about H transforming into a woman and being nearby or narrating. This (other) somewhat fat woman sits naked on top of my chest and is trying to get me to put my lips on her genitals. I resist and feel distressed by the forceful nature of what seems to be going on, being put off by the fact there is an odd taste or smell. I feel abused. (This feeling lingers as I wake up)


      6th March 2022

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      (near end of dream) I am with H in an area with a few small warehouses. I think in the middle of some woods, although there is a "town" feeling to the place. It also feels a bit like a garden centre? We go into one of the warehouses. There are stacks and stacks of wooden organ pipes. We make some deal with a white man, short black hair, mid 40s/50s. Then, before we leave, I ask him at last something that had been on my mind: "Do you know of any similar dealers such as yourself, who deal in metal pipes instead?"

      He does give me a reply in full but I lost recall of it. I do recall the reply was to my satisfaction and I gratefully express my thanks before we leave the warehouse. It's possible he gave me some contact details. Inside the warehouse, it seemed quite dark apart from the fact that it was lit by hanging bare incandescent bulbs. Outside it's sunny. There's a bright chalk-ish white gravel which makes paths. The woods are fir of some kind.
    12. ccclxvi. Scraps, Store with strange cave and giant skull, More than meets the eye

      by , 02-28-2022 at 04:41 PM
      6th February 2022

      Different fragments:

      - In space, arriving in a ship near a nebula of some kind, with a planet inside and also another star nearby in a different nebula. I mistake the planet for the star a couple of times? I never see either of them up-close and the ship itself is never closer than a light-year in distance.

      - With H in some house. Daytime and light comes in from the windows, I don't recall seeing outside. Get the impression of a flat and that it belongs to someone else, a friend? There's a cupboard full of biscuits or something, including Belgian chocolate-covered wafers. I think I spot some dark chocolate ones, only to find out they're actually regular chocolate on a closer look, though I then do see some dark chocolate ones and take one.

      - I do something semi-sexual with H, approaching from behind.

      - An area with semi-detached houses. Can't remember who else is here but the queen of England is visiting the area. She's on her own with no entourage accompanying her. She's here to visit someone specifically and they don't seem to know each other very well. They have a short and amusing exchange and then start walking down the street together. There's a couple of other people relevant to what's going on and the sound then shifts focus to being on them.

      - Possibly linked directly with one of the other bits. In a large cave, like something out of Dark Souls. I fight a relatively small dragon and some humanoid as well as other enemies I can't recall. My weapons are frequently breaking but the enemies I kill also drop two-handed weapons fairly often.


      12th February 2022

      8:00
      Fragment:


      A store, under it there's some cave I've been to before in the dream. It has lost and ancient things. It's dark, though not very much. One of the things here is a giant anthro's skull. It's big enough that I would be able to fit inside its throat area and I remark on this to (I think) H. I try to take it back up to the store.

      I find a savage native on the way back and he gets spooked by the skull in some way. I try to do something silly or funny but he doesn't seem interested in that. Then, at the store, something about a magazine.

      (recall gap)

      In a version of our kitchen. It's tidy and also not in a different kind of way. H just took some poison he asked me to give him. This happened once before in the dream. He doesn't remember this happening before and is now asking me to give him the antidote. I think to myself that it should be in a drawer. I end up looking everywhere and being unable to find it, which makes me explore the kitchen around a bit.

      (details faded but it was a long dream, might have had micro-woken up a couple of times through it)

      9:30?
      Fragment:

      (last bit of a dream) Going down a stairwell in an apartment building like old home. Mom is with me and maybe someone else like T. The stairwell is square-ish with a hole/gap in the centre. As we get to the bottom level, a woman comes out of her apartment and starts talking to us. She's a little bit, not flustered, maybe excited and she touches up her breasts and says something about her clothes. Rather than just walk away, I give her some attention.

      Recall is fuzzy but I notice that she has a bulge around her crotch area and she reveals that she had been a man and kept these bits. But I find this odd, unusual and somewhat implausible, because on closer look her facial and bone structures seem more consistent with someone who's always been female. So I think to myself that actually she was just born with both sets of genitals and that this was a cover story that made it "easier" to explain.

      Mom is gone pretty early on before this happens and T becomes or is replaced by H. I think that H might be feeling jealous or something.
    13. ccclxv. Mini water planet, Statue of Liberty and zombie, Driving around

      by , 02-28-2022 at 04:06 PM
      2nd February 2022

      Fragment:

      A bit like DSP, travelling to a mini water planet orbiting a larger regular planet. I remember trying to build something, though finding it difficult because of not having much terrain to build on initially. Throughout this dream I recall a nice sense of scale and somewhat strange proportions with regards to perspective.

      Dream:

      Statue of Liberty arriving in bits for assembly, in several barges/boats. There's a wait for more parts to arrive. Some narration describing what's going on? Some ships are taking more months than they should be taking at sea and others are ending up at nearby docks, but still distant from where they should actually be arriving at.

      The pieces of the statue are all already turned green. I mostly see all of this from distant or aerial views. Then I see a giant zombie rising from the ocean. It/he isn't hostile but is reckless and sinks at least one ship that happens to be in his path. I vaguely see red glowing eyes?

      Eventually the entire scale of the dream decreases and instead of a large New York bay, the scene is now a street or room, with no trace of water or having been wet. The zombie is here and is childlike, both in size and behaviour; he's trying to communicate in some way, but not with language, as he doesn't seem capable of it.

      There's a living child nearby, not sure if a boy or a girl. This child is curious about the zombie and wants to interact or play with him but some nearby adults or parents are very apprehensive and worried about the zombie child and want to keep the living child away, despite the fact that the child doesn't seem frightened or anything.

      The zombie child seems to have been able to communicate that he wants an engineer or electrician, for something to do with electricity.


      5th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about having the key to the car and driving around. H is in the passenger seat and we go via some mountainous areas which makes H critique my driving, though I comment that he hasn't been a passenger in a while either. Point of view shifts a few times, between first person and aerial views? Something blends with sci-fi or space context.


      Notes:

      - All throughout the dream with the zombie, there was a very grungy, gritty and generally dark or overcast mood to everything. Everything felt desaturated apart from a few details like the red eyes and the green of the statue's plating.

      - The zombie figure is very clearly lacking specific skills that relate to consciousness but seems to make up for them through keen intuitive and primal instincts with regards to communication. His intents were never clear from the start apart from the fact that there was no open hostility, just a sort of single-minded tunnel-vision.
      -- There are some other clear elements of unconsciousness about the zombie character, such as the fact that he rises suddenly from the ocean, such as thoughts or images that cross the threshold of consciousness but that do not yet make themselves clear or which have their own nature.
      -- The giant attribute made me feel a mix of excitement, arousal and concern, as has always been common for me with such themes, a lot of the time. The fact that the character was undead added to the element of concern.

      - Through most of that dream, I felt mostly detached from everything, like I was mostly there as an observer, though in the second half of the dream I felt more present.

      Updated 02-28-2022 at 04:08 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
    14. cccliii. Brief lucid in a town and False Awakening on a sofa bed

      by , 01-23-2022 at 11:19 PM
      29th November 2021

      Very abridged, many details weren't retained after waking; this was a brief lucid involving a false awakening and the lucid part felt continuous and lasting several minutes.

      Dream:

      I am out and about in a place like old home. Reminds me of 98 and I am with mom maybe, and a group of kids. It's some kind of school trip. (mom is here as a teacher?) I cross some foot bridge thing. It's sunny. I then go into a cafe or shop place, somewhat dark and unlit, except by the bounced light from outside. There are a few dream characters here, there's a counter of some kind on the left side and the place is deep-ish, being long and relatively narrow more than anything else.

      I start hearing my thoughts and they are very present. My thoughts tell me I'm dreaming and I confirm this in some way by interacting in some specific way with the people. For some reason, I still feel self-conscious, or like it's impolite to do anything right away, excusing myself and eventually going outside again. My memory in the dream feels decent and I perceive all the visual details vividly but physical sensations are faint.

      As I walk between two buildings, I start feeling some kind of arousal but successfully repress it. Instead of letting myself give in to an urge of making myself grow, I start trying to fly. Unable to fly, I am more leaping in large bounds of varying gravity each time. At some point I lose a bit of lucid awareness but I realise this and so I regain some clarity.
      Eventually I slip away into non-lucidness again and "wake up" falsely, into some other dream segment.

      Then I am in a sofa bed with S; she seems needlessly concerned, anxious. This looks like the room me and H have stayed in, when I've visited my parents; it feels like old home, anyway. Thinking I'm actually awake, I try to ignore her a bit and I take my phone out to write down my dream, starting on some detail. But I stop because I'm interrupted by H, who's prompting me to get up as he comes into the room. We discuss something about our day coming ahead.

      (recall gap?) Still in the same place, I am playing some game? Something about the original DOOM. Then I realise it's 3PM somehow, and wonder why or how it got so late, kind of in shock. But I don't dwell on it very long. (missed a perfect cue here)

      (recall gap)

      In some kind of ship, something about a fridge and some chemicals, including screenwash?

      Notes:


      - I mostly repressed the urge for growing because I always end up feeling like lucidity makes me want to do sexual things, which is fine, but at the same time I also want to focus on other things. Many times I've tried falling asleep with painting, or even art in general, in mind as a lucid objective just in case I ever do become lucid, since it's rare for me.

      - After I became lucid, I have some recall that after the two buildings there was a cityscape past a dip (river?) but also a sort of digital-looking existence, like in some old 2000s 3D cartoons. There was something bizarre and unusual about the background, anyway, as well as some other kind of foot bridge.

      - The manner in which I became lucid was unusual, not that I have a great deal of samples to compare with.
    15. cccxv. Airport troubles and explosion disaster

      by , 08-05-2021 at 07:06 PM
      5th August 2021

      Fragment:


      (mostly the second half of a dream)

      I'm arriving at an airport, supposedly in L. I'm with H. We walk in through a tunnel I think, like from a subway. We're approaching a check-in queue area. It's packed and it doesn't seem to be moving at all. There's a covid context but with relaxed rules, making me feel generally apprehensive.

      This is on one of those upper tiers, though this dream location doesn't quite relate to any specific bit from waking life. There's sunlight at an angle, brightness and colour that makes it feel as implied early morning, just after sunrise. Seems like it would be hot but in the dream I have no recall/sensation of temperature.

      Mom and dad are here at the queue. Mom is impatient and suggests to dad that he might use his airport credentials to hurry them through this. Dad doesn't want to, but he does start a conversation with the woman at the desk. She says that the airport suffered a virus attack a while ago and all the flight schedules are therefore inaccessible (among other problems?). Dad says something about how she could use pen and paper?

      I think to myself that they really should have an on-site IT crew to deal with this sort of thing and that they should restore a physical backup to the system.

      (gap and recall is fuzzy)

      A few things happen while waiting around. At some point H isn't with me anymore.

      Then I'm outside, it's night time now and I'm walking along some hangars, on a typical road that has a stone wall and forested area to the left. I feel I am going away from the airport. Three 1950s-ish cars, all black and kind of sportsy, go past. I make note of their headlights as they go past, with a pretty circular shape. The ground is wet? I end up walking through a residential area of sorts. It's more like overcast daytime now. After a short climb of cobble stairs or something, in a parking/loading area in front of a warehouse, I see three police officers and a police vehicle of some kind (a van?). They are fighting, two against on. Those two aren't real police officers, I feel, but I am not certain.

      They're restraining the third officer, a woman with black hair and pony tail. All their outfits are completely blue apart from a bit on the back with POLICE written in English, in white letters. Uncertain that I'm doing the right thing, I spot a serrated knife with a wooden handle (like one from our WL kitchen) and I pick it up and sneak up to the officer restraining the woman. I stab the restrainer in the back, with a lot of force to be sure I can get through the body vest.

      He falls over forwards and the woman gets away to the right, taking cover behind the police vehicle. The other fake policeman draws a gun and I hide/take cover behind the body. He shoots at me but hits the body a couple of times. On the ground is a Beretta, which I pick up. I wait for a moment and then come out of hiding from behind the body and shoot the fake police officer in the head, he looks surprised as he dies.

      The woman urges me to get in the car with her. I do and we drive a short distance back to the residential bit. We talk and I tell her about the dodgy cars I saw earlier. I tell her the drivers had white racing helmets and seemed to be up to no good. We drive over two oncoming cars on a descending ramp bit. It was accidental but it all seemed fine actually. In the car, I'm trying to find more ammo, because I think that I only have eight bullets left. She can't manage to tell me where more ammo might be, but I get the impression there is none.

      At a certain point we need to get out of the car. It's still wet, and raining now. There's a lot of water flowing through some cobbled part of the path and it looks like there's a bit that's in disrepair where the water is flowing into.

      Eventually I start running, toward the airport area I'd originally come from. I pass the hangars. I see SWAT police reinforcements ahead of me. I get to a more open area and there are implied signs of a massive explosion (but not really) under a huge commercial jet. Some music like "New York" plays but New is replaced with Zoo. I look for survivors and am told by someone (a narrator?) that these two people on a corner, a mother and daughter are the only survivors, supposedly because they were under a blanket together at the time of the explosion.

      The mother and daughter were implied to have been victims of incredibly horrible burns but when the blanket is removed they just look like those wooden mannequins artists use for reference, but they have stylised (and real somehow) eyes that move. The spherical and cubical wooden blocks that make up their bodies seem pristine.

      I realise something about barrels and explosive atmosphere mixture and how nobody should have used firearms. I fall to my knees crying (and wake up shortly after, with leftover emotion).

      Notes:

      - In the dream I did not realise how odd it was that the mother and daughter looked like wooden mannequins but still felt like real people. After waking and recalling the dream, I think about how this could have something to do with how trauma is processed, but I find myself unable to relate to this specific experience in that sense.
      -- This is one of several dreams recently where hard and pure geometric shapes have made an apperance. I am not certain why this is, though a week or two ago I returned to practising basic shape drawing, something I'd been lacking in and on the other hand, I recently read up on Platonic solids and something else related to that subject.

      - Essentially there were two viruses in the dream context, Covid, and the computer virus.
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