• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cclxxi. Giving dad some coins, Meeting up with an old friend and getting bitten

      by , 05-22-2021 at 03:35 PM
      19th May 2021

      Fragment (remembered this while in the car and thinking about money):

      I'm somewhere, meeting back up with dad. I'm giving him several old pound coins. I deliberately picked old ones instead of newer ones to give him and I remember ruffling through something (a cloth bag?) to get them.



      20th May 2021

      Fragment:


      I'm in a version of my old town. It's dark, night time, but no street lights or anything? I meet up with D (childhood friend), an accidental meeting. I follow him into a building, climbing some stairs that lead up to the ground floor where the entrance is. The building is the one opposite of the cafe on the main street.

      (transition)

      We're then inside his apartment, but like the building, it's not the same as it would be in waking life. There's a lot of stuff everywhere and I make some remark on how it's comforting to know that other people can also have this issue. It's mostly clothes, clean but unarranged and piled up. I forget what we talk about, but we discuss something. It's dark here too, but more like dawn than night. There's a cold ambient light.

      Then, I think I need a wee and I go somewhere in the flat. I go into this sort of secret compartment behind something and I forget all about needing a wee as I climb down a wall ladder comprised of metal loops in the wall. Then this part has a connection to the lift shaft. It's dark and goes a long way down in there. I look away? The rest of the room is some kind of cubical underhang thing on the building. There's a barred window in here at some two or three feet away. It looks much brighter on the outside, like it's daytime there. I look again into the lift shaft and the aperture is smaller than before now.

      I'd have to crawl first to fit through now and drop down. A mouse, two mice come out. They look clean but I don't trust them. One gets close and for whatever reason I still reach toward it with my hand. It gets on top of my hand and bites me. It doesn't hurt a lot but I feel worried about getting an infection. I'm angry at the mouse but quickly forget about it. I go elsewhere, not sure where, and there I eventually wash my hands in a bathroom.

      (there was a lot more to this dream but I couldn't recall much)

      Notes:
      - Before I fell asleep on night preceding the 19th fragment, I was again thinking of a general thing of Occipitalred's thoughts on dream awareness.

      - It's ironic that only just recently I told Occipitalred I couldn't remember any dreams about money but then just a day or so before I had indeed dreamed about the subject of money in some form.

      - I like to collect old and non-circulating coins, even if they are actually fairly recent. It seems odd that I would give dad the older ones rather than the newer ones, especially since in the dream there was some subtext of money being required to pay something banal.

      - The dream with the mouse is one of a few recent-ish ones where a rodent has appeared.
    2. cclvi. Fuzzy reality, Memories, teaching a friend and dad's cancer

      by , 04-22-2021 at 03:10 PM
      22nd April 2021

      There are quite a few personal thoughts and notes here but I guess when are dreams ever anything other than personal? But this took me quite a while to type up, which is frustrating on some level.

      Fragment:


      Playing DII, with the barbarian. I remember I look at the waypoints and see I'm in Act 3 but it's actually hell (Act 4). The colours all look weird, the character looks a fuzzy dark navy blue on some parts. It's generally dark and I am going to where Diablo "lives", I remember going past the hellforge or something.

      Very little recall of this dream but it had a strange feel to it, a bit like some of the weirder pre-sleep dreams I used to get as a kid, where reality made no sense with waking physics and was all fuzzy like static noise.

      (DFLN) Dream:

      Spoiler for Lengthy dream:


      Spoiler for Notes, spoilered for length:

      Updated 04-22-2021 at 03:13 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    3. cxciv. Through the forest with an ally

      by , 11-29-2020 at 10:27 PM
      29th November 2020

      Fragment:

      Some part about being in a car with dad and he had an accident or something and then stuff repeated itself. I think it was mostly a light collision but I lost the details.

      (recall gap)

      Another part where I'm cooperatively going around with another dream character (male, stronger?) and we need to reach some kind of extraction point but while avoiding a military presence that's nearby. There was an APC on a hill or bridge and some kind of gunship.

      I remember deviating from the straight trajectory we were on and finding a flatbed with a rocket turret mounted on the flat bit and used the turret to shoot the gunship down or whatever it was. I had a temporary cloaking buff that prevented my detection.

      This part had started off on top of a green-ish hilly type area. Then nearing the extraction point with the military presence there was a forest but there were lots of orange tones, dead leaves and leafless trees. Daytime all the way throughout.

      Then I carried on and met up with the other dream character I was originally with, we were in some city area not far. Grey-ish and concrete-y. There were pits? Some green liquid at the bottom of the pits. Vague recall of tall buildings and cracked foundations and cracked streets, which was where these pits or ravines were. I remember a cage at some point. Either I got stuck there or the other character did.

      There was more to the dream but I took too long to start writing and forgot too many details despite the relatively vivid details of the dream.



      Notes:

      - This dream was originally quite long. Recall has actually not been particularly poor lately, but my DJing has been lacking, mostly because I have been waking up too tired and lethargic and so if I do start writing the recall is usually fading or gone. Also often by the point I realise I could have written something down, I have already slept again since the initial recall or have simply not bothered because it has felt too tiring to try.

      - The area where dad was driving was thematically similar to the remainder of the dream.
    4. cxxiv.

      by , 07-30-2020 at 08:45 PM
      24th May

      Dream:

      Was in some kind of gallery or museum. The room was large and square. It had a lower tier/level kind of, also square and I walked down to it with some stairs. H was there I think and I was supposed to connect some displays of paintings with power, but I only had a single extension lead.

      (Some section I don't remember.)

      Then, as I was talking to someone a delegation appeared or something and a few others including H got close to the group. There was a mayor of some kind and the museum's curator. My dad was also part of this delegation. He had a dark brown suit and seemed taller and younger. Then he started moving ahead of the group into some hall and the group followed him.

      I didn't really want to join this event but H said something to me from behind and said I should go because of dad, giving me a push and then I just continued with the momentum. Then in some other room, dad and this other guy start climbing some nonsensical spiral staircase. It was made with beautifully stained wood and a carved/turned centre pillar, but for some reason only had a bannister/railing on the inner side of the steps. It went very high up, four or five stories.

      I was feeling my fear of heights so I didn't look down or backwards and wondered how the hell I was going to get back down.

      Because of the missing bannister bit, we were all climbing the staircase by pulling ourselves up on the centre pillar or something. I remembering seeing dad reach the top and jumping to a flat area just under ceiling level and over a wall.

      The whole place looked highly decorated and detailed in a neo-classic style, mostly comprising wood or painted wood. Eventually I got to the top too and I wasn't sure about the jump but the point of view changed from my eye sight to an overview of the area and then I jumped.

      Then the rest of the dream was in this sort of top down view. I walked around this secluded area and eventually found some portal or something? And then I became like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.

      I have no more recall of the dream.



      Notes:
      - Not too long after this dream I started work on a virtual gallery project in which I pretty much wanted to embody this general neo-classic styling and museum feel. Some of this idea of powered displays must have bled through into my subconscious because I did indeed later on create something similar for my project.
      - The suit my dad was wearing was in the style of a suit I remember him actually wearing when he was more given to wearing suits anyway because of work.
      - In retrospect, H's presence in this dream was a bit "guide-like" I suppose, as H's role was fairly limited in the dream but somewhat essential for the action to unfold as it did.
    5. cxiii.

      by , 04-15-2020 at 12:25 PM
      I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

      Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.



      Dream Fragment:

      H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

      Dream Fragment:

      Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

      I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

      Dream Fragment:

      This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

      In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

      Dream Fragment:


      Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

      The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

      I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.



      Notes:
      - I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
      - In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.
    6. xcv.

      by , 03-06-2020 at 05:28 PM
      Woke up at around 6:30 in the morning from a dream. Had other dreams later but was too tired to make even small mental notes of the details, so no recall for those dreams.



      Dream and awakening:


      I woke up in the dream, I was apparently sleeping on a bed with dad. It looked like some version of my bedroom in the old place but it looked like my parent's room a bit too. I was too hot and the covers, the bed, etc, everything felt too hot. I got up and saw this big red fan heater H has, it was on the floor next to the bed.

      I woke dad up and asked him why the heater was here and why it was on. I thought of turning it off but for some reason didn't. I concluded from looking at the heater or something else that the room was at 49C. I felt particularly unwell and remember shortly walking about the dream room before I woke up in reality. I don't remember sweating, just exhaustion really.

      In reality H was pressed a bit too much against me and I felt that the bed was far too hot. I thought we might have left the heated blanket on through the night, but seemingly it was off. I went for a wee that I didn't realise I really needed, after H also got up because of the noise I had made stumbling around.


      Notes:

      - This type of dream is very typical for when I need to wake up for some biological reason, in this case needing a wee.
      - Being in the same bed as dad was common when I was a child; I'd often get into bed with my parents in the middle of the night, usually sleeping between them. But I can't really remember why I did that anymore or what made me wake up in the first place. I don't recall any negative emotions from back then.
    7. xcii.

      by , 03-01-2020 at 11:42 AM
      Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall.



      Dream Fragment:


      I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car.

      We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car.

      I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side.

      At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall.

      Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something.

      Dream Fragment:


      Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however.

      I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago.

      He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?].

      I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply.

      Dream Fragment:


      There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind.


      Notes:

      - In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern.
      - In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least.
      - Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here.
      - I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.
    8. xliv.

      by , 10-03-2018 at 09:49 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up at about 9:00, remembering one long(ish) non-lucid dream. Some details lost.



      Sequence:
      I remember being in a variation of my current home. I was in the kitchen. I remember a big man, he was a friend of ours; I think he was of some african ethnicity but he wasn't that dark - he had short hair and brown eyes and big hands; his girlfriend, who was of similar ethnicity was there too? She had long curly hair and brown eyes also. I think the kitchen lights may have been on, but it was day outside, maybe clear but very early.

      I remember they were talking and then it turned into an argument and I joined his girlfriend's side of the argument for some reason. Then I asked him to leave, and I realised I was a bit angry, so I immediately calmed myself down, touched him in the arm, as he was upset too, and I said "I'm sorry about that." - then everyone was a bit calmer and for some reason he had this bag full of chestnuts covered in sugar that had been deep-fried. They looked delicious but I commented that they looked nice, but unfortunately my mouth didn't agree because of all the sugar.

      I tried to make light of the situation somehow but either way, I then went through the main hall; the front door was open and as I walked out, the scenery was different from what it should be; our side of the street was still a row of terraced houses but the opposite side was just forest/green, and the road was wider (2 lane instead of single lane) and the pavement was much wider. My partner was parked up to the right in the car. To the left was some sort of factory (maybe tire factory, there is one where I live, but not that close).

      The factory was not open, as all its (visitor?) parking spaces outside were empty. I thought it had closed for the day, though the dream-time seemed like morning, my assumption was end of day time in the dream. Opposite to the factory parking spaces was a wide bit where a bus/coach could stop. Then the road did a curve as it went on.

      My partner was on the phone and had sunglasses on in the car. Opposite me, the other side of the road was some Korean man, he smiled a lot I think. Some children were playing too, I remember a little girl for some reason. I remember my mood outside was a driven one, I was looking for parking for the man inside the house, and I concluded there was none apart from the factory's spaces, so I walked back in and was going to tell him, but I had some doubts it was "ok" to use those spaces, but I think I could hear my partner's voice saying it was fine, because everyone had left. (another hint that the dream time was end of day, really)

      Transition of some kind or missing detail...

      I remember being with a group of people, my dad was one of the people but I don't remember who else, I think just dream characters. Of note was a man older than my dad. We were in a mall (this could have been a more obvious dream-sign on its own, plus the presence of my dad) and then we went up some concrete stairs and we were in an overhang tunnel, that went over some street or something. It wasn't very long but had angular corners. I walked next to my dad and as we were crossing, he pulled some sort of lever and the tunnel bridge started to rotate its middle section; I looked behind to see if the other DCs were able to get on.

      We walked to the other end and there was a stairwell down. Then I remember being outside of there and it was like some sort of campus... I looked around (I can't remember my motivations or intents) and ended up going down some more stairs into a dark place, a subway. The tracks were at the same level as the platform, i.e. there was no stone/concrete lip over the tracks. There were quite a few people at this tiny platform that was no bigger than a small room. The tunnels were equally dark, maybe brighter somehow. I think I had stepped on someone that was sitting down at some point, though I don't remember apologising, for some reason. I couldn't see them, still.

      Then I went down more stairs, to a similar sort of platform, also dark and small with several people waiting. I realised I was in the wrong place "that's the yellow line... I want the blue line" I thought, after seeing a yellow line along the tracks. I went up a level again and concluded that platform wasn't right either. I had the impression that each track was for the same line but went opposite directions.

      I got out to the surface again, this campus place, but everything looked... fake, almost plastic-like. I walked along the pavements between the grassy bits and there were people around. I reached a point that had one of those blocks you can hit from Super Mario. The dream started to look a bit Minecraft-y, with voids in certain spots on the ground, sky visible. I fell down by accident into a small void pit but fortunately there were some stone blocks there. I climbed up the opposite side and continued walking.

      Dream details are starting to go really fuzzy now, remaining memories of particular note only being one of a sword or something and of walking into a different place.



      Notes:
      • When I was thinking why I didn't want the chestnuts the reason was a valid waking-life reason, as I currently have some mouth ulcers that I really shouldn't "feed".
      • It is peculiar that chestnuts appeared, especially prepared in such an unusual way. I haven't had chestnuts in quite a while, but I haven't been thinking about them. It may be an automatic craving, as this is about the right time of the year, when we used to have chestnuts at my childhood home.
      • The Korean man was a waking-life remnant because a friend of ours was discussing the North Korean leader in passing conversation last night.
      • The subway, tracks, etc all were very obvious dream-signs that I missed as always. As I was thinking about that part when I was writing it, I was realising that when I've seen trains recently (mostly in games) I've never remembered to do a RC.
    9. xxxiv.

      by , 09-08-2018 at 11:40 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up at about 8:30 again, so I know that my alarm is being able to wake me up again. Still didn't have enough willpower to not stay in bed and slept another 2 hours again. Remember one of the non-lucids.



      Dream sequence:
      I remember being in this office/computer room as I am in now to write this DJ, or perhaps a similar room. I remember then being in the kitchen and I was talking to my partner about an appointment I (actually) have next week. In the dream the appointment's location was somewhere in Illinois.

      My partner was somewhat upset because we hadn't made any preparations at all and it was actually impossible for us to drive there. We would need to go an a 6-hour flight (which is inconsistent with the real distance, which would take longer) and then there was some kind of transition.

      I was now in a plane, which actually looked like it had a fair bit of room, but the plane wasn't on an airport. It looked more like it was in the middle of a town and people were all waiting for take-off. The plane had a layout I can't really explain or detail, but it was not at all like it should have been. Some people were complaining that things were falling apart, and I think my dad was there commenting that it was fine and that actually those parts were not crucial.

      A man next to me spoke in my native language and voiced his own concerns, and I tried to tell him that it probably really was nothing to worry about. I remember he had a drink in a plastic cup and then behind me there was some sort of drink dispenser like a water cooler, with more of said plastic cups in a slot. The cups were a blue-hued non-transparent grey. The light coming in through the windows was orange-ish, in a way that implied it was early morning, likely at sunrise.

      Then I remember being outside, either walking around or being driven somewhere when I pass the plane, which is sitting on a street, wingless I think, next to some terraced houses. The plane didn't look like it crashed or anything; it was just sitting there.

      I know I interacted with someone else after that but I can't remember any more details specifically now.



      Notes:
      • I can't remember having many (if any) dreams with planes.
      • The dream context of "travel" is a consistent theme across some of my most common dreamsigns however.
      • It's likely that I had this dream because last night my parents wanted to speak to me and I was feeling too tired so I didn't speak to them; and they presumably wanted to talk about a trip to where they live, which I really didn't feel like thinking about.
      • In dreams I don't particularly feel stressed with travel, but in the waking world, traveling can feel stressful for me if it involves large gathering hubs or if it's highly disruptive to day-to-day life (i.e. if it's a trip away for a considerable amount of time).
      • The way my partner was upset at me about the trip was a bit different to how the reaction would have been in the waking world, which might still have been slightly cross but more forgiving.
      • I still find it odd that even though in the dream I was at locations in the house, I never did a reality check in the dream. Lately I do RCs quite often, even when in the house, so it seems odd that the "habit" of simply checking reality anyway doesn't even occur.