• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 19/07/2020

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I want the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. clxxxviii. Concrete subway

      by , 11-09-2020 at 10:14 PM
      9th November 2020

      Initial note: Some parts of the dream were clearly about having to get ready in the morning but other parts felt more random. I didn't sleep through the whole night, having struggled to fall asleep and to stay asleep for most of the night, but only recalled the morning dream.

      Dream:

      The entirety of the dream takes place in what seems to be a subway and in some parts there's a feel of it being mixed with the layout of my old home.

      I remember being naked and at one point there's some kind of mini game thing happening and
      Spoiler for semi-graphic:


      And then the egg thing would hatch and a prize would come out of it, like a kinder-egg prize toy or something, but the prizes were completely random. As I kept doing this, things like bathroom spray cleaner bottles and other mundane objects would be "spawned" by the hatched eggs I was using. I think to myself very clearly "wow, it's almost like magic, but how do the companies make them appear as if they spawn from thin air from these comparatively very small eggs?" I add to the irony of this by then thinking "it must be some kind of quantum gateway tunnelling, I think", completely missing the cue.

      Then I remember getting dressed with my usual clothes, the ones I'd be wearing today basically. I don't remember putting socks on but I know I hadn't put on a top just yet. I recall an escalator which I go down on, it goes a long way forward and not very far down so it has a very small degree of elevation per step. The subway area itself is very much like the ones I've been used to from my old home area but far more vast and of incredible depth/height. For a while I'm the only person in the entire place.

      Then I hear dad calling for me and telling me about how we had to get on with it and get ready. (prior to this whole dream I had a waking moment where I had checked the time and it was still more than an hour's time away from my alarm going off) Mom is also here now and she's telling me about how T lost his citizen's card/ID in the subway just recently. I comment that I couldn't possibly lose something like that out of my wallet because it's all stuffed in quite tightly.

      Dad seems disappointed that we (me and T or me and H?) weren't ready sooner, but I tell him it's not even 8AM yet and he doesn't really change his tune, insistent that we should be more prepared or something to that effect.

      My recall faded a bit but eventually I had to go back to get a hoodie and I'm trying to not get lost in what seems to be an Escher-like maze quality that the subway seems to have. The entire underground area is very well lit but I'm left with an impression of darkness and recall the construction was primarily concrete, so it felt like a recent or cheap construction.

      I recall that at some point, there were some more particular things that had hatched from my eggs; one was a bony black creature with wings, like a dragon, but not. It had a frayed look, worn. At first I genuinely thought it was a toy because it started out inanimate and in a sort of fetal position? But when it started moving around I began to hope it wouldn't cause any chaos or mayhem while we were away for work today (pre-lucid thought).

      Another peculiar item that spawned from the eggs was a very authentic/official looking piece of scrap paper telling a military person who he should be looking at and what he should be doing when activating a nuclear arsenal. The paper had Spanish writing but it was mostly in English. The other military person mentioned was a "Dahlia" something or other, of an enlisted rank (sergeant comes to mind?).

      At the top of this thick paper were two groups of Hebrew or Jewish 6-point stars and taking up the right half of the document were some watermarked bald-eagles or something, but the paper was torn around this area. I couldn't make up my mind on where this document could possibly originate from, thinking about Mexico, the USA, Israel and other places. But I remember being amazed by the document and trying to tell H about it in the dream.



      Notes:

      - In the dream, I don't recall any of the "subway" area actually having any rail tracks. It just had the same feel as some stations I've been in, but on a bigger scale. I never did reach a terminal at any point in the dream, nor did I see any trams/trains. The whole place was very bare. Although subways used to be a common dream sign for me, they rarely feature quite as much as they used to a few years ago, probably since I don't use them currently.

      - Apart from how it felt physically, there was nothing particularly sexual about the mini-game thing.

      - I think part of what brought about the small dragon-like creature was the fact that H's cat had to have some emergency care very recently and so was looking quite "patchy" and ruffled when I saw a picture.

      - Part of what brought about the very peculiar military document was probably because I was reading about colonising of the Americas in general last night and also looking at different maps about the subject. Dahl and its variations is a name I find interesting but apart from the similarly named Borderlands fictional military-arms company, I'm not sure what would have prompted a character to be called Dahlia in one of my dreams, but it's not the first time a random word has been put together.

      - Although I don't recall what it was anymore, something did happen if I didn't use the eggs and just allowed them to hatch by themselves and from my perception (with it being a mini-game of some sort) this was "bad".

      - At the time of this dream I had recently been speaking to a transgender friend of mine, whom I hadn't spoken to for quite some time.

      Updated 11-14-2020 at 06:47 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    2. clxxxvii. Chemistry, Stacked paintings, Dark highway, Level-locked

      by , 11-08-2020 at 12:44 AM
      5th November 2020 (DFLN)

      Fragment:

      At the end of a dream I was with H, watching a video of a guy in a labcoat mixing something together in some ceramic mugs he'd previously joined together (ceramic seamless welding technique or something).

      The labcoat made me do a RC but for some reason I didn't focus enough on it and so I didn't realise I was dreaming.

      Fragment:


      In a room, in our house? I remember my paintings are all here. Some of them are stacked on top of each other and I notice one of the "eye" paintings is lying atop the pile. One of the other paintings in the same style/series is nearby or under that one.

      7th November 2020

      Fragment:

      Left it too long and recall was poor. At an apartment building which goes quite a way up. I'm in a floor high up with someone else and we are trying to keep social distancing up while doing something? But eventually we end up breaking it and I think I was there to do some kind of trade or exchange.

      Possibly from a different segment or dream but in some other part I recall being with mom and dad, on a highway or something. It's night time and I'm not sure if we actually were in a car at any point but I don't recall other cars or people. There's a junction or bridge over another highway section but the bridge is damaged/ruined and is actually mostly rubble. I remember street lights and that sort of thing being on.

      Fragment:

      Earlier fragment. I'm a level 60 death knight character in WoW and apparently I can't level up any further (my experience bar is absent). The highest level characters I remember seeing are level 70 and I remember seeing an undead player character that had an elite portrait frame.

      I remember getting on a slow gryphon and flying around an area very much like Dun Morogh but on further thought may have been mixed with Wintersrping.



      Notes:

      - Recall actually hasn't been particularly poor or anything lately, even with early morning working days, but most of the time I've been far too tired when I wake up to push myself to actually write down the recall and by the time I have a chance I've usually left it too late.

      - I think my RC was a bit weak in part because in the dream I was feeling a bit self-conscious while doing it. Generally I don't feel so self-conscious anymore when doing RCs when H is also around, but I guess some leftover part of that still persists for the moment.

      - The eye paintings have had some special and unspoken significance to me lately. I don't know why exactly, as I also never really thought "I really love eyes" but they certainly seem to have some sort of appeal to me, as I have been noticing it's a frequent subject matter in my work.

      - The ceramic joining thing made complete sense to me while I was dreaming and even after waking up it seemed to make sense and I remember thinking "what a good way of fixing ceramic objects", but I slowly realised it actually didn't make any sense and in itself could have been its own dream sign.

      Updated 11-08-2020 at 12:47 AM by 95293 (title, extra notes)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    3. clxxix. Protecting a minister and film called "The End"

      by , 10-13-2020 at 06:36 PM
      12th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Somewhere in China. I was helping some kind of cabinet minister or something. I think I was his bodyguard and for some part of the dream we were in a silver car; the minister was the driver.

      I was constantly on the lookout for potential threats. Vague recall of having a weapon. I remember an underground area, a mix of some metro station I know (grey, dingy) and an underground car park or something.

      Most recall faded, but by the end of this dream sequence I was in a kind of transition where I was in my native country, in the capital or somewhere like it and near the water. On one of the quays? Something about catching a train.

      Some family members were there and I was trying to be the last one to get on the train to make sure nobody got separated. T and her sister were there.

      Not sure what part of the dream, but at some point I was selling guns, shotguns?

      13th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Dream about a film, called "The End", which was apparently the first in a series. There's a group of four people and they have to stop the four horsemen at the breaking of the last seal. There's some narrating? Not sure: "But what if one of the people, the wizard, didn't make it on time? What would you do?"

      This bit seems to be a replay of a previous dream section but with altered details. Vague visual recall of seeing the last seal break, implying the group failed.

      Before this, I was a child or teenager. I saw my reflection, of my younger self, on a metal blade of some kind.

      I had inherited a large wooden instrument from some African music player. I recall now the instrument looked exactly like a wooden organ pipe, but with tribal decorative patterns painted on it. (recently made a joke to H about one of these sounding like a didgeridoo)

      It was apparently up to me to find someone who would take on this instruments legacy, or I could take it on myself.

      I remember while I was younger I had to train weapon skills (vague recall of panel like classic WoW skills) and I was going to be training my unarmed skill, so I was going to spar with someone my age.

      Something about needing saturated fat first though, and eating some cereal rich in it and other stuff.

      There was a barge too... Maybe we were on it? Recall faded too much.

      Even earlier than this in the dream, dad and I in the middle of a city, like the capital. He'd left his car in a lane and we were on the pavement talking, but I get the feeling he'd left the car open, like he/we were getting back in soon.



      Notes:

      - I never used to have dreams about my younger self. But it seems they are starting to appear more often. I have an inkling as to why but I can't be certain and it's a bit complex.

      Too tired at the moment to make other notes on some stuff. Need to remember to edit this later.
    4. clxxviii. Eggs in the fridge, Family gathering at a mall, Casino, Bone dragon hunt and twin sister

      by , 10-10-2020 at 01:04 PM
      9th October 2020

      Scraps:


      Something about eggs and cooking or baking with them. Remember looking in the fridge and either taking or leaving four eggs. (this felt quite accurate to how the kitchen area actually looks and feels in waking life)

      There was a long dream but I left it too long and the recall faded.

      10th October 2020

      9:00

      Fragment:

      Was in some mountains. That place I had built on creative had appeared, the mountain area. I remember being of unproportional scale and trying to cover it to prevent someone else from seeing it? Something about lewd stuff being in there?

      L and S and talking. Then in a mall, aunt I was also there. Something about a mini sand castle building kit? This is back in my old home area. Vague discussion with the three of them about people and how people had lost their jobs with the pandemic. I remark on how society has set itself up for failure. My point seems understood, but not accepted, by the others.

      Scraps:

      (still the previous fragment's dream) Roaming the town, looked like the capital. Some guy from a group or gang? In a jeep or SUV with them and my old friend JC from school. I go somewhere with them. I'm riding with them in the back but my position seems elevated. A casino. Discussing the level of peoples' intelligence. A powerful and rich woman owns this casino. I remember she wore a pearl coloured dress. She makes offerings out of kindness; food or currency? Not sure.

      10:15

      Fragment:

      Some fantasy realm. I am a female character near the end of the dream and fight a bone dragon. I trick it with a fake hostage and it hesitates, I think it was a child cooperating with me. Then I trap the dragon with a vine plant of some kind (the word heron came to mind as I wrote the notes) and I start cutting the dragon's sinew and bone methodically, using a long slicing sword.

      Before I am done, it starts to glitch or something and disappears. Then I climb up or use a platform elevator of some kind and there's another female character. She's my twin sister. She has a vivid red silk dress with gold trim, and I have a silk vivid green dress with a similar gold trim. The coloured areas have a subtle patterning but in the dream the dresses appear more western than I expect for their style.

      She had been the dragon all along and thanks me for releasing her. She tells me about how I'd set up traps in advance and other things and comments on these things. But I don't remember any of it and start to come to the conclusion I'd made myself forget for some reason. Before I could dwell on it, we jump down to the stone courtyard where the fight had occurred, and we're about to go somewhere together, but the dream ends soon after. This area had a tinting like a bathing of sunset and I remember godrays and distant castles and such-like fantasy style structures.



      Notes:
      - The castle areas in the last fragment remind me of Lothric from Dark Souls III, but with a more cheery look.
      - It's been a very long time since I thought about bone dragons, and it's probably the first time one has appeared in a dream.
      - The woman at the casino seemed to look like a pin-up model or just had a general style of 50s/60s to her. I think she was blonde, which matched her pearl dress.
      - There were a lot of dresses featured in these dreams, compared to normal (which tends to be 0).
      - It's not the first time I was a female character, but it's not too common either. It felt as though the character was just me though, and not that I was in a role of some kind.

      Updated 10-10-2020 at 03:31 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    5. clxxv. Erotic comic, Item of value, Family interruptions, Learning about driving

      by , 10-04-2020 at 07:29 PM
      4th October 2020

      8:45?

      Fragment:

      In one part of this dream I had gone to a computer like mine (but was it mine?) and in the dream's context I'd previously downloaded a comic of sorts, about a giant elf lady who allowed herself to be pleasured by an also rather large but sentient spider (i.e. of the same level of intelligence). The comic was incredibly detailed but it wasn't tending towards hyper-realism or anything; initially I was very apprehensive as I thought my arachnophobia might come back (because of the spider's details) but I ended up liking the comic and the high level of detail. The backgrounds seemed simple or mostly abstract, colour gradients?

      The comic apparently had 68 pages, but each page was effectively a single comic tile/strip and many of them only showed small or incremental changes from the previously shown scenes. The spider was a night blue or black colour? Orb weaver type.

      Before this, T and I had been talking? But after looking at the comic for a while, I became aware of T's presence by my left side at this desk I was apparently sat at. I felt embarrassed and didn't like the idea that he'd basically been watching me look at this comic, when I thought I was alone. But he made no comment about it and I didn't bring it up myself.

      I remember a beautiful pine forest before all of this. Distant and snowy mountains and a river close by. Think I was walking by its sandy bank. There was some surreal element to the area, like the area was an unnatural overhanging cliff? But I think the forest was part of what prompted the comic segment.

      Fragment:


      I was some woman for a short bit or playing a game as this woman? But things looked realistic and I remember no HUD. I was in a third-person mode and there was something about setting a record and using motorcycles to do so. A giant plasma orb and some controller for it. I remember going up a ramp in a city area. There was a very wide river? Reminds me of some cities in the USA.

      At the end of this dream segment I had taken something which was really important. Some sinister and some natural higher powers all wanted whatever this was. I remember someone mentioning Aether beings like those of Minecraft:Aether. They also said something about those beings supposedly being more deserving of this thing I'd taken. There was a feel of being like Frodo or Bilbo, having something as highly sought after as the one ring.

      10-11:00?


      Fragment:


      In an altered version of my old home. I was trying to get to my computer in my bedroom. Emphasis on trying because interruptions kept happening. I felt some kind of compelling to look at that comic again. But this time I couldn't even get to the computer, T kept trying to talk to me or something. Then I lost him somehow and got in my room. I was about to shut the door but saw mom away in the distance; the house felt bigger and more... diagonal. But I hesitated; I tried turning on the light for my room but it wasn't working. I don't think it was night time, but it was dark in there.

      For some reason the hall's light was stopping my room's light from working, as I found that if that one went off, my room's light would work. But then T appeared again.

      (recall gap)

      Then, out in the night in my old town. There seems to be less street lighting than I'd expect. I'm at a car park near our home and walking towards a car, but can't recall the look of it. Something about getting in and then mom was there, wanting to teach me to drive.

      I get in the driver seat? But it's on the "wrong" side. Then dad turns up as I'm about to get going/started and I somehow am at the back of the car now, with dad having taken over. Then some third-person view sort of top-down, chasing the car while some kind of crazy manoeuvring is happening and the car is avoiding other cars using the road normally.

      Fragment:

      In the sky, kind of? Maybe this was in sequence of the old bedroom part, but I remember there are some very thin but incredibly solid platforms, nothing sways and I don't notice the absence of wind. I just remember seeing sky and clouds, even when looking downwards. It was sunny and I walked down some steps, at a quick pace? I had some sort of objective or goal.

      Fragment:

      In a back garden. A house that's mine and H's? There was a messy grassy garden, unkept. The grass looks yellowed or dry in parts and there are many tufts. There's a hole in the ground and on some level I remember that it could be a wasp nest like H had recently told me about and indeed some wasps do come out of the hole, but I run past and over the hole. Vague recall of the grass/ground being soft, like it's ankle deep.

      Fragment:

      Either H or T, stroking a cat (using the foot). I'm more at ground level, like the cat. Can't recall if it's black or white, but think white. But the cat gets up a little and hisses at him, but doesn't seem to care about me.



      Notes:

      - I don't remember looking through all the pages of the comic, but do remember seeing about 20 different strips, albeit many were only of small alterations conveying motion. I have some vague recall of text but I don't remember any text bubbles or anything.

      - Although I watched LOTR a long time ago, I did watch the Hobbit recently.
      -- The theme of a valuable object being sought-after by powerful entities has recently occurred in another dream.

      - Although mom did use to drive, by the time I was around she didn't drive anymore because of some experiences she had.
      -- Mom was a teacher for a lot of her life, so it seems somewhat fitting that she would try teaching me even if she hadn't driven at all, even once, since I've lived.

      - There were a lot of themes both about my family and about my old home in these dreams.
      -- I had a slight introspection not too much later after waking, about this. The interaction between my "self" and the voice from my last lucid has made me wonder about the metaphorical meanings, as I have always had issues with family interrupting things or generally being nosey about things I'd rather they weren't nosey about, but this is only compounded worse by the fact that I wasn't able to have "space to myself" in a sense, when I was much younger, many of my dreams during my youth seemingly often having an aspect of wanting to be separate from my family, at times; at least to be able to explore certain things by myself.
      -- The interruptions by T were something of a recurring theme during waking life, especially in regards to not talking about something that I may have felt was awkward or sordid. But in our childhoods we were very close.
    6. clxxiv.

      by , 10-03-2020 at 01:50 AM
      2nd October 2020

      Scraps:

      (Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

      Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

      Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?
    7. clxxii. Visit to museum with family, Motorcycle gang, Old mansion/hall

      by , 10-01-2020 at 09:44 PM
      30th September 2020

      Dream:

      With my family, visiting some fancy historical complex in America. It's on an overlook type area, atop a generally hilly area. Don't remember the surroundings much.

      Mom, dad and T are the family I'm with. I remember we walked into a room with a long curved glass separating the room from a display area. There are highlights from the top and behind the glass is a natural-looking and rocky display, but the main feature is a plaque attached to a rock? We sit down on some of those museum-type sofas and there's a female voice talking about this plaque and/or the display.

      Outside, going away from the compound area.

      (recall gap)

      Then something about a motorcycle gang? And two of its members are causing havoc along a road, in some way that I don't recall. I'm a policeman and have a motorcycle of some kind myself, chasing them through roads and rice fields, where people are working.

      (recall gap)

      Then in a shower. It's in some old place's bathroom. The shower is a walk-in type, with no frame at all, being only a white plinth. It's centred against a wall of this bathroom, which is quite large. I remember old and darkly stained wood, either in the bathroom or outside of it. Cerulean-blue tiles?

      While I'm in this shower, bits of crap start coming off the back of where a silicon seal should be. Some bugs and a small horned beetle crawl out. (The word kabuto comes into mind as I write this out)

      Then I get out and someone else is around. Not sure who, but they find a small clam shell of sorts and put it in front of this beetle. It gets in the shell and wears it like armour or something, the other person remarking on this fact. Then nearby is a crab and this other person disturbs it and it crawls away? But the crab is also in a strange sea shell of some kind.

      (recall gap)

      Vague recall of roaming some mezzanine area and old halls of the place with the bathroom. A bedroom too?



      Notes:

      - Shortly after writing out this dream and getting some things ready for the day, I found a beetle on the hoodie that I was going to wear.
      - The whole dream was continuous but the threshold/transition moments seem to have mostly been lost on waking.
    8. clxiii. Dream marriage, erotic art, medieval/fantasy combat

      by , 09-12-2020 at 04:47 PM
      Finally done with catch-up now.




      8th September 2020


      Fragment:

      Very long dream, poor recall because I had no chance to write about it until the evening.

      A small housing area. Modern-style appearance, cubical lots of white and concrete and glass, but low flats? Two, three story at most. Vague details of it, but the plot revolved around marriage and the dream characters were all fictitious. I was myself, but mostly only in a physical sense, my life here was its own life, created by the dream.

      The dream character I was supposed to marry was some girl, with odd hair or something? There was a Middle Eastern or Italian feel to her family. Maybe just Mediterranean in general.

      Her father was famous/infamous. I think he was especially notorious for what he would do when he disapproved of a groom. I remember at first I did meet with his approval but at some point I realised this wasn't due to last, for some reason. Then, when he did become disapproving, he did not treat me as cruelly as he had treated others in the past, but warned me that something bad was to happen?

      The girl became distant. Most of the dream's plot took place at their family flat.

      11th September 2020


      Fragment:


      Again long dream but recall faded, left it too long.

      I'm in some kind of fantasy action RPG. By the end, I entered some special hell area (very orangey) through a portal. The portal was framed by some sharp obsidian fang shapes?

      I remember dying in that area, a stupid and avoidable death I think. That made me lose a lot of progress, at least of everything I'd done in there, which I now couldn't recover for some reason. Interactions with some narrating npc?

      Fragment:


      Micro dream where I'm looking at erotic art on my PC. The explorer layout is not my usual one but in the dream I don't make special note of this. A lot of the art is greyscale or line art only. I think about tracing some of it for practice but I end up feeling aroused as I'm looking through the pieces. Some of them were real ones I know from waking life but I think many were simply dream-generated.

      Fragment:


      Another dream in which I returned to the context of the first one. I was some warrior class character and fighting waves of humans and dwarves equipped with dark-ish metal armours. Every so often when I killed enemies, red banners would prop up on a black pole, with semi-random frequency. I remember looting some items.

      Was too tired to make note of more and recall faded too much.
    9. clx. Familiar church, Boss in a dark area

      by , 09-12-2020 at 03:38 PM
      3rd September 2020

      Fragment:

      Some garden, part of a big house. Remember being there with someone else but not sure who now; also there were some dream characters that were like old schoolmates? I remember the house vaguely, a bit like a manor and fancy glass? Gardens with low hedges.

      Then I remember walking down a street, typical appearance of my native country, cobbled paths, a road in along the middle, walls painted a white colour. It was daytime, overcast? At a church entrance with my sibling T and at some point we're both waiting for dad, but eventually we go in I think. Dad had gone to a car garage?

      The church was at the end of the street from before. The church was built out of big limestone blocks.

      4th September 2020

      Fragment:

      End of dream, dark area, maybe night time. Sort of urban? There were buildings and maybe scaffolding, wooden planking. There was this wide open hall area but it was still dark or poorly lit and it lead into a more central chamber. Maybe there was a hole in the middle of that chamber? There was a very blue light coming from below and a boss of some kind. Felt like a mix of KF and WoW and the area seemed inspired by the Sceptre of God in PoE.



      Notes:

      - The church from the first fragment bears some resemblance to the church we used to go to as a family when I was younger.
      - I'm thinking now that it's interesting that dreams don't often feature dad, but in this case the dream featured an absence of dad. In my childhood I often felt dad was a bit absent. Besides mom, T was probably who I spent most time with from the direct family.
      - The blue light has made me curious. Blue lights often have a sort of recurring/stereotypical appearance in dark areas for me if I look back through dreams. There's usually an accompanying sense of mystery.
    10. clviii. Chinese museum, Covid concerns and Back in the past

      by , 09-12-2020 at 01:47 AM
      30th August 2020

      7:20

      Dream:


      Last part mostly. Not too interested in full recall. Was walking around somewhere with someone, an old schoolmate, maybe C? We're talking about buildings for some reason and then there's no transition but we're in "China" and I see Chinese soldiers in what looks to be a kind of ceremonial uniform.

      Covid times in the dream. But nobody is wearing a mask, not even myself or who I'm with. We're at some exhibit building and it involves going down a long set of stairs underground. People don't seem to be respecting distancing rules and through all of this I'm getting casual contact with random people and I'm touching my face, for some reason. I become concerned, but feel that because there's nothing I can do now, I just carry on.

      Eventually we leave back up the stairs. Even the soldier and the attendants don't care about distancing and contact, this bothers me on a very basic level. My dad then appears at some point and complains about it all.

      Some transition and then Deus Ex themes and fighting Paul Denton, but I'm still myself? Before all of this, I remember roaming cobble pavements late at night?

      I make note of the fact that it's the past, I just have this knowledge in the dream somehow, something like the 60s? Don't know exactly but some cars have unusual UV headlights or something, because everything that's got white on it lights up bright because of the UV headlights when cars go past sometimes. I distinctly remember old-styled cars and lorries.

      There's a dog walker at some point while I'm walking along the pavements; we try to avoid each other and I'm on the grass.



      Notes:
      - There was a very loose and casual link, I think, between the Chinese soldiers and Deus Ex, since there are several levels in the game that take place in China. It was also a game that I played back when I knew C.
      - Dad's appearance seems to just be a reflection of some of my own thoughts but besides that his behaviour was mostly as I might expect it to be.
      - The covid themes in this dream I think were mostly part of a subconscious digestion of my own processing of certain situations in waking life.
    11. cl. Three pears

      by , 09-03-2020 at 12:04 AM
      Really need to finish catching up on DJ, getting close to current dreams now. I also feel I maybe do need to start giving proper titles to my DJ entries for quicker reminders at a glance of what they're about. I don't like doing it sometimes because I often change my mind about what the focus of the dream was.

      11th August 2020

      Dream:


      Somewhat fragmented. One of the first parts was inside a building, nicely decorated. Public works type of building. Something about me needing a Greek lawyer, without this lawyer some cronies would just be able to punch me as much as they wanted or something? Marble flooring and generally ornate detailing. Don't remember much else.

      Then I remember coming out from my old home building's main entrance. I casually walked across the short distance to the entrance of the shop here. The fruit stands weren't where they'd normally be. They were all piled up on top of one another by the entrance, kind of.

      There was a basket with green pears. The entrance seemed wider than I remember it? Theo was standing there, watching, so I asked him for some of those pears and he asked how many. Three, I replied for whatever reason.

      He put the pears in a clear plastic bag and then I walked closer and he gave them to me. Then I went in the shop and he returned to his usual business. It was surprisingly busy inside. The layout was a slightly altered version of how I remember it, but with a bit of expansion that wouldn't be physically possible. (In which direction?)

      I roamed around inside the shop. There was a display counter (where he'd typically have the cheeses, hams, etc.) and I saw some of those heart shaped pastries I like in there. I got two and put them away somehow, in a bag? I remember looking around a bit more but then the next thing I remember is being outside and walking back toward the building's entrance.

      Mom came out of the main entrance, I think, and T was arriving from the main entry point into the cul-de-sac. I remember thinking this was all in good timing, as we could then have an afternoon snack together or something.



      Notes:
      - I think I feel this dream is something of a closing chapter on some of my older memories. My family looked as they do now and I felt as I do now. But the shop had already changed after I first left. Theo no longer owns and runs it and that's a part of my childhood that will remain nothing more than a memory now.
      - I can't remember why three may have been significant (three can always be significant for whatever reason we want, there were three pears and three of us and so on...) but the dream's choice of fruit in the pear was probably because I had recently had thoughts about having pears, a fruit I haven't had in quite a long time now.

      - Though I don't remember the details specifically anymore, I think it was a sunny day.

      - I have a rather peculiar thing with timings, for some reason. The encounter of my mom and my sibling just as I'm coming back to the building's entrance is just such a simple example of my peculiar timings but over the last few months I have found myself having a lot of passing thoughts about my timings.
    12. cxlix. Duplicitous family & Arresting myself

      by , 09-01-2020 at 02:20 PM
      9th August 2020

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Part of a long dream, the last part revolved around this kid with autism and he'd made an explosion or something. He lived in a mansion all on his own? And he had a rich dad?

      I remember at some point there was a fireman and he was the one that told me all about the kid. When he told me the story I felt sorry for the kid somehow. Then the kid had an older brother who was just a nasty and petty and by the end of the dream the kid with autism had been faking it all along and his whole family was mean and petty.

      I remember H was with me for most of the dream.

      As I mentioned in the DFLN thread:

      Quote Originally Posted by DarkestDarkness
      To be honest waking up to this dream was a bit disappointing, I had a carrying-over feeling of being disillusioned in people as I became more awake but eventually overcame that through the day.


      10th August 2020

      Dream (DFLN thread):

      Recall only the end of the dream, but it was still a long sequence.

      I was a police character and I was going somewhere I'd already been to earlier in the dream. The dream was sort of cycling, or repeating, in some way? I'd come here before but as Homer Simpson with Bart. We'd been looking for Marge.

      In any case, as the policeman now, I went to this spot to pick someone up, who was already in handcuffs and escorting a woman. This place was in a very busy mall, there were loads of people.

      I picked up a police cap off the floor, I knew intuitively that it was mine somehow. I undid and then redid the prisoner's cuffs. Though I don't remember the prisoner character's actual looks, I picked up a wallet which resembled my wallet from waking life. In it, there was a photo of me, but I didn't realise that it was a photo of me. This was who the prisoner was, some "me". So I took him, by the cuffs and we walked down some stairs. Nobody was phased by me as a policeman taking this man in cuffs through the mall.

      The mall visually resembled one from my early childhood. This other "me" who I had in custody was being accused of rape, or something?

      At some point, I realised better I was holding my police cap in one hand, I hadn't put it back on yet. I remember H's voice at some point and I was talking back in normal dialogue, but H was not physically present. We were discussing typical police caps, and the fact that they have them on at all times, pretty much.

      Eventually, as I was walking, the prisoner was not a person anymore but instead a corpse in a body bag. I don't remember how this transition happened. But I remember as I realised this, the body inside the bag went floppy and heavy and I had to adjust my grip. I remember feeling the cuffs on a bony corpse through the bag and I just carried on carrying the body bag in a more dignified way than I had been initially. I woke up while I was still walking.
    13. cxlviii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:49 AM
      8th August 2020 8:30

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Recall faded somewhat. Left too long before deciding to type.

      Was underwater, felt something like Conan:Exiles but overall it was a mixture of different things. (nice and specific as always... )

      A cutscene of an event? Something about having a wee, or reproducing? A giant blue or dark teal female-like character had phallic tentacles from their genital area and they wrapped them around me or my character and left some kind of "seed". (my visual recall of this seems to have faded, but I remember it was quite distinct)

      Then something similar happened again? But with a different creature. Then I remember being equally big and trying to protect some smaller spawn.

      A wave of zeds from KF appeared and I used my giant arms to simply swat them away as they swam closer?

      Some other part, going up in a lift in a rush after escaping while fighting. Remember using a shotgun in a first-person mode. As the lift made a stop, there was a character. A deer, or half-deer. Something about the hooves was important? I remember a divinely glow of some kind behind the character... But not sure now.

      Then, further along, inside a gigantic tree that had been planted earlier (when?) but could sort of see inside out or something when looking up, weird perspective stuff. A bit cinematic-y.

      Fragment:


      Drawing on tablet?



      8th August 2020 10:10

      Fragment:

      In the old kitchen at the old home. Something about mom making a deal, or promise? With me, or with dad, who was also in the room. There's some cooking going on, I was making something soupy, or sauce-like.

      In an earlier part of the dream, playing with H in some GTA or SR-like game. I remember using a very large tank that took up two lanes, and then eventually simply decided to spawn or summon a jet, like one from JC3, but I got a fighter by accident instead of a bomber like I meant to, but I just carried on and got in it. Went over some restricted zone and started shooting at generic henchmen. I remember a city and a lot of water. Maybe a bit futuristic.

      Fragment:

      Mixed/incomplete recall. My cousin T ate some little sweet thing. It did something to her behaviour and I think her sister was there too. Something about me babysitting or taking care of them? Weird dream place, vivid-ish colours.



      Notes:
      - For a while now me and H have been playing KF2 on and off together, the zeds were probably just a leak-through of that. But I haven't really played C:E in forever, but have thought about it.
      - Not sure what was the specific source for the giant characters. Need to make mental note to look through old sketches.
      - The deer character was an unusual appearance. I think it was partly precipitated by the interactions I've had with Occipitalred here on DV. Deer-type animals are not the type I give a lot of conscious attention, though I did paint a deer character some six weeks ago (at the time of writing this).
      - The "mistake" of summoning the wrong jet is of particular significance for me because in JC3 I got very used to flying the more sluggish bomber and really pushing it to its limits.

      Updated 09-01-2020 at 02:00 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    14. cxlvi. Phobia Therapy

      by , 08-30-2020 at 07:50 PM
      30th July 2020

      Dream: (DFLN thread) (self-memo: be sure to re-read Sageous comment and my own reply)

      Was at some therapist's office. Looked to be a typical rented office space. I went in and saw a doctor "Hodstatdr Lester" (note, this is my original spelling in the original entry), he insisted gently that I call him Lester.

      He was a well-built man, with a mostly round head (bald?) and with a deep voice. He wore glasses.

      We sat opposite each other on identical chairs. Lightly stained pine frames with blue textile cushions (deep blue?).

      He began by asking me what he could help me with and by saying remarking something about whether or not it would be worth our time, mutually.

      I talked for a little bit, I don't have a recall of the specifics but then I said I had two unresolved phobias. He seemed to nod compliantly and asked me to go on. I remember thinking about what I wanted to say, and then saying it, an unusual process for me during conversation.

      "Well, one of my phobias is what's on your shirt." I said
      "Pockets?" He said with a look of surprise.
      "No" I replied, making a motion with my index running along my sternum.
      "Ah, you mean buttons" He replied.

      I interrupted with "Yes" because I had(have) an aversion to even saying the word at times.

      "Well, you have a [unintelligible prefix]-phobia" He then stated.

      I also had in mind that I wanted to talk about another unresolved phobia. But oddly enough I couldn't remember what it was (and still can't).

      In any case, I said that this phobia name sounded familiar, and just as we were about to start discussing it, I woke up.

      Original notes:

      - While I felt like I could trust him, hesitantly, this feeling was mostly further compromised by the fact that the chairs were oriented in a way that made him be slightly my left and I to his right. This could have been corrected easily when I sat down, by simply turning the chair in a different angle.
      - In addition, the room was large. 6x6 mtrs or so at a guess. But apart from our chairs it was a completely empty office. The floor was carpeted?
      - Finally, there were two windows. One behind and left of the therapist (from my pov) and another one out of sight in the far right corner of the room. It was day time and so the two windows were the only light sources.

      Scraps:

      Mentalist dream, something about young children getting their fingers stamped with hot seals? This was part of some imagined thoughts at some point.

      Something about being in my old home's kitchen, the light was on. Absence of light and darkness from outside. Odd. Mom and T were in the kitchen? Something about cooking, and then a bat flew in and mom notified us, after I'd already spotted it. It was light brown in colour, caramel coloured even.

      One of the very first dreams? Was in a tank in some place near a warehouse and I was shooting civilians with tank shells, because they were being uncooperative somehow. I remember troops on foot scattering from a rear formation to take control of the civilians and the immediate area.
    15. cxlv.

      by , 08-24-2020 at 09:01 PM
      25th July 2020

      Fragment:

      In some Minecraft-like world with H. There was a dragon of some kind that kept coming back and harassing us. We were at some coastal area and there was a passive (did I mean peaceful?) moment during which there were loads of weapons to select from.

      26th July 2020 (DFLN thread)

      Fragment:

      Voxels, some volcanic area. Solid magma blocks and generally some dark blocks. There was a sci-fi base.

      Fragment:

      Dream where I was eating cheese, I think in the kitchen. Vague memory of getting it out and cutting it.

      Fragment:

      Micro-dream after having been awake for a bit and then dozing off. Was listening to the cathedral's bells and then I saw a scene about a couple. I remember there was a part where they were chasing after each other in a playful manner and then they were going into a bedroom. I seem to recall some negative thing to this too?

      27th July 2020
      (DFLN thread)

      Fragment:

      HD and her partner D, at the end of the dream in some world that looked like it was out of Spore. Lots of weird bug-like creatures. (Nice, very descriptive...)

      HD is talking from a distance by voice? She's a mix of hershelf and S, my sibling's partner. H is almost giving HD a headache somehow. The dream had started with Minecraft somehow and it was a very fractured world. People from O's server were also there, as was my middle sibling.

      Dream:

      Don't recall the start of the dream but I was in a restaurant place with mom. It was like a Chinese buffet place, but not quite. I was serving myself, mom had just finished doing so. I remember seeing her across the way, on the other side of the buffet area. I got some breaded chicken thing and then wanted a bun, but for some reason I reached across the other side for one, carefully so as to not dip myself into any food. But I could have just gone around and I sort of realised this. Then I remember going to the table where mom was sat.

      There was a vacant seat to her right and I sat there. For some reason I was shorter or completely slouched now, so I couldn't reach my food properly. To my right was an Asian lady (Korean?) and she started picking on me for some reason. I remember telling her she was being mean and even went so far as to say that she was the meanest lady I'd ever met, as she kept continuously harassing me. After struggling with the food for a while I somehow managed to sit upright and felt much taller than before. I also thought I would apologise for my own behaviour.

      I told the lady she couldn't possibly the meanest person ever. I said that she had been a bit mean but not that much. We sort of reconciled.

      (recall gap or separate dream? have a feeling the sequences were part of the same here)

      Somewhere else. Fragmented. I was in a cave that was connecting to a (currently) underground and high-tech moving fortress belonging to "my" faction. I was going outside to do some scouting of a target enemy base nearby. It was a tall Protoss-like spire or tower, in the midst of a low flat area surrounded by cliffs. Come to think of it, reminds me of Howling Fjord from WLK.

      I remember getting back in the fortress and reporting my findings. Someone was "digistructing" something, to seal the entrance better. The entry point was a round sliding door, mechanical and heavy. This fortress' style reminded me of Grineer style.

      Some very early part of this there was this very cheesily painted bomber, fully patterned with a stylised USA flag pattern; it dropped some hooks for me and a squad to grab onto and pull us up, as it dropped a nuke at the same time. I think it eventually took us near the fortress.



      Must remember to tag this later.
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