• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccxci. The twin fruit garden, Sapphire ore fortress

      by , 06-24-2022 at 04:04 PM
      2022 June 2nd

      Dream:

      I'm at some kind of garden/arena place. A quite big round building, at any rate. There's a feel of old home to it. Some walls are white?, with I think a blue trim running along some of the edges. The exterior perimeter is decorated with aquatic and palm motifs in small tile mosaics. Vivid colours. It's sunny.

      I walk around until I get to an entrance to the central area that goes up and in. As I walk around, there are grape-like husks that I'm stepping on, they're a dead blue, but nice somehow. It took me a while to realise they're the fruits of some of these plants. Some kind of leafy canes, which arc with the weight of their fruits. The other side has small banana things instead, but both plants are the same with different fruits. On the upper area inside, I remark to H who's nearby, that it looks like one half of the garden is one fruit and the other half is the other fruit, and there seems to be a clear divide.

      I feel that this could be related to sunlight and shade. The grapes on the plant are actually white grapes (green), unlike the blue-ish husks on the floor. I remember picking and holding one. I think I ask H if he's tried one of the banana fruits. I'm not sure if he should eat it.


      2022 June 6th

      Fragment:

      (Last bit at the end of a longer dream. Didn't write recall early enough.)

      I'm with H and he's kind of doing his own thing, and I'm descending a vertical mineshaft he's made, digging my way downward through its sides. It's a mix of Minecraft and BL. At the bottom I find myself in a dark but vast cavern. I can still see fine. I see sapphires close to me and I tell H to look at how many there are, an almost 5x5 area on a wall. Then, I find a waypoint like those from Diablo II. I think to myself about how rare this area is to find naturally generated.

      The cavern has a mostly flat ceiling and I can't quite see the bottom, but pillars at irregular intervals make a kind of vaulted cavern ceiling. (Similar to some BL cave generation)

      In the distance, I see more sapphires around and eventually after walking along a sort of suspended highway, avoiding some annoying mobs along the way, I find an underground stone fortress which is mstly made of stone brick and which has patterned features with encrusted sapphire ores.


      2022 June 8th

      Scraps:

      I'm in a village or town. Like rural areas around old home. I'm passing in front of a building where lots of people gathered. They're all queueing or waiting.

      Some other bit, with mom and H. Something about driving. A crossing? A woman in a dress?



      Notes:

      - There was something yin/yang about the first dream's location but it also reminds me of places and experiences from my childhood.

      - At the time of the second dream, me and H had been playing Minecraft again a fair bit. I'm not entirely sure why there was a D2 waypoint in there but it may have been because of the dream that Hilary shared on DFLN just a week earlier or so, as Diablo hadn't really been much on my mind otherwise.

      - Inside the cavern areas, there were openings above that let some natural light in. There were interesting light effects, though even so I couldn't really see a bottom to the pillared cave areas at any point.
    2. ccclxxxvii. Planet clipping, The Arab king and his knight, The orange nebula swarms

      by , 06-24-2022 at 02:53 AM
      2022 May 20th

      Fragment:

      Mix of NMS and Satisfactory. Exploring planets and looking around. Some general funkiness of generation clipping into itself. Then I build some gas tank thing on a planet and see about building a smoke stack on top, I think H is commenting something to me about this.

      Then I'm in the bathroom with H sharing a (false) memory of how they're going to add warp rifts and super drills and I figure they'll let you get infinite resources from procedural planets in this way. (I partly live some of this as I imagine the false memory)


      2022 May 22nd

      Dream:

      Some bit in a town. Dawn, or dusk, clear sky, quite beautiful colours. Slightly Arabic feel to the area, buildings painted fully in white. I'm walking around, or sort of spectating as an observer perhaps. There's a king who has a knight, possibly me. The knight has reached some kind of seniority and they talk as they walk together. Some kind of relationship subtext? Holding hands together?

      Then some bit in a fortified area, like a castle or barracks in the middle of this town. False memory of having trained here and such. I think it's night at the moment. There are many devices and traps part of the training course. Some bellows that are pumped with your feet that you must stand by or jump on? I talk to H about them (as if outside this area?)

      (recall gap)

      Like Freelancer now. The spacescape is more realistic and reminds me of remastered Homeworld. Most of space is dark in this area. There's a nebula nearby, large orange glow coming from inside. There are remnants of large framed mega structures insides, made more obvious by shadows cast by the glow, despite the otherwise foggy nature of it all. There's other debris in there too. I fly towards the nebula in first person on a ship. I fly past one of those asteroid stations, possibly like Ruiz base, in Omega-41? I don't think too much of it, but something is weird.

      I notice there's a clone of the base very close by, the name on the clone sounds like the right name, while the first one had a name like Event Spawner 03, which makes me think of something having gone wrong with a story or mission script. As I go into the nebula and into or through one of the mega structures, I start noticing some bio-metallic creatures, very geometrically shaped. They're small and start approaching me in numbers, turning into swarms eventually, starting to seem dangerous now as they keep approaching. So I turn around and head towards the station from before. I try to dock, but I get confused with the asteroid base entities. Anyway, after I manage to dock, it looks like a Rheinland station inside, and I walk around and maybe look at some equipment and stuff.

      (recall gap)

      Then something at a very different place, much more fantasy like. (unfortunately, recall was lost)



      Notes:

      - Two space dreams. At the time I had been playing or had recently played NMS after a long break from it, so that was a likely cause for them.

      - Dreams based on Freelancer and generally spun off general space sci-fi stuff I am particular about remain amongst the most interesting non-lucid dreams I have, certainly when discounting any further analysis like symbolisms and such. The general feeling of reality in these dreams tends to be fantastic and despite any weird stuff that might happen (such as the clipping, which happened in another space dream too, possibly after these), I often get a really strong urge to want to revisit these. I don't know what it is about them exactly, but I think part of it is that they are so refreshing when I think about stuff I have otherwise already mapped out fairly well in my head, especially in the case of Freelancer where I know most of its "Sirius sector" universe like the back of my hand.

      - On that note, having fully played through the remastered Homeworld a couple of months ago was a great contribution to this mental content, as the reworked spacescapes are just perfect for me, especially tonally.

      - I made a 3D scene of the mega structure part and the nebula, but I have not made a render of it as I was not satisfied with shadow-casting yet. I'll still tag this with the bonus image tag anyway.
      -- The little swarm creatures were not made for the scene, but I also sketched them and they resembled some little enemy things from Strafe.

      - The first part to the second dream was interesting. I have had a few other such dreams that have less focus on myself as a dream character, and they tend to have interesting themes, though I need to make the time to introspect on them a bit at some point, as I never do.
    3. ccclxxxvi. Stupid laughter, Out with family, Dark atmosphere and shop with family

      by , 06-24-2022 at 02:26 AM
      2022 May 13th

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm helping someone with a quest or something. We go into a portal thing which is between some humanoid mobs. It takes us to a reward dimension and there are five mounts, one for each player had we been in a full party. The mounts look like a snow plow/dozer machine. Orange or rusty tones? Once we get out, the other guy has already customised and decorated his "mount" and I think about doing the same when I get a chance.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a town somewhere, looks a bit like areas around old home. It's night time and there are sodium street lamps, though there is more colour distinction than they would allow for. I'm under a little covered bit, like the entrance to a restaurant or house, but it's unlit I think, taking care of laces on my footwear or something, when I hear the voice of M and that stupid laughter of his.
      (note to self, writing this, my recall of the dream has improved a lot as I remember the following negative moments)

      He's talking to someone and I hear them approaching along the street. I deliberately take my time now and look busy, avoiding looking at all and focusing on the laces. Then, when they pass close enough M sees me and says "hey onion hair" and laughs at me. I turn around toward him now and see he's sort of perching forwards on a dividing section. I feel annoyed, angry and threatened. So I swing a bag full of stuff at him, hitting him on the head. He barely flinches however and makes some sarcastic or mocking remark, I think indirectly, talking to this other guy who's with him.

      I try to compose all my stuff and go, struggling with a version of my tablet which is in A3 in size, trying to flip it closed. (rest of recall was lost)

      Later, I tell H about the encounter and says "I would have hit him" to which I reply "I did hit him", possibly in frustration.


      2022 May 16th

      Scraps:

      Something with family. Mom, dad and sibling T. Out somewhere? (recall was not retained because I left it for two days)


      2022 May 17th

      Fragment:

      I'm at some shops with siblings T and L and also dad. We're looking for some chocolate cake thing, one of those moist ones with sprinkles on it. Dad moves away in some part of this shop. I can't recall what's on display but me and my siblings are talking about foreskins or something. I picture something about it in my head.

      (recall gap)

      I am outside at some point. There's a very dark, heavy and moody atmosphere, all red and black tones/hues, a sort of mist or fog too. It's a city street of some kind? I remember tall buildings, but with no windows or anything. Just plain facades. (after waking from the dream, this made me think of Trove for some reason)



      Notes:

      - I hadn't had a dream with M (previously referred to as MB sometimes) for a while. I'm not sure anymore what could have prompted his appearance in this dream.
      -- Probably also one of few "bad" dreams I've had in quite a while too.
    4. ccclxxxi. A strange dream-life

      by , 05-07-2022 at 02:16 PM
      2022 May 2nd

      Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

      Some in-line notes.


      Dream (Fragmented):

      I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

      Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

      (recall gap)

      I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

      I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

      (The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

      I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

      As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

      Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

      Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

      As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

      Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

      Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

      (recall gap)

      Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


      Notes:

      - Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

      - This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

      - I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
      -- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
      -- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

      - The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

      - I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

      - The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
      -- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

      - Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

      - The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

      - The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.
    5. ccclxxix. Overpriced cereal, experience from mobs, intimate moment

      by , 05-07-2022 at 01:03 PM
      17th April 2022

      Scraps:

      At old home, the shop underneath. I'm talking to the old owner, T. Mom is at the shop too after a while? I look for some cereal but I either can't find what I want or it's all weirdly overpriced. Something about being in the kitchen at old home. A pizza that bakes for too long? I am distracted by something, and also need to take S for a walk.


      23rd April 2022


      Fragment:

      Half-game, half-real. I'm killing some secret cow level mobs in an area that makes me think of the old home cul-de-sac. Then, I'm talking to L about XP per mob, I say I can do 400XP per second or about 120 something K per minute. We then ask J (family friend) who's nearby at a doorframe, see what he thinks.

      (Rest of recall was lost. Recall was left too long.)


      25th April 2022

      ~5:00
      Fragment:

      I am naked and H is here with me, probably naked as well. I have female genitals and H is inserting a sex toy. The sensations all feel very vivid and lifelike.

      (Left recall too long, couldn't muster enough will to make initial notes even though I intended to do so.)
    6. ccclxxvi. Alter ego, Space empires, Undeground world, The strange monument

      by , 04-08-2022 at 01:54 AM
      28th of March 2022

      (I may add some notes at one point, especially if I draw the monument)

      6:00 or 7:00
      Fragment:

      I am my alter ego but my dorsal scales are pointier, like my character N. I'm at some kind of fair or public event. Eventually after a bit of walking around, I come to a wooden bench, where mom and dad are sitting. They each move over to a side and as they sort of part, this dwarf man is revealed to be sitting there too. He has a miserable look. My parents don't even acknowledge that he's there at all. I do at first and try to sit next to him and between my parents. There's some dialogue, but recall was lost.

      Unknown Time
      Fragment:

      In space, sort of game-ish and like Sins of a Solar Empire and Stellaris, in that you have starlanes for travel between stars (haven't played either in a while but think about it on and off when I see them on the library). I'm travelling with someone else, we're each on our own ships. As we travel and spend a bit of time wandering in a star system, the star suddenly starts to go nova. So I tell the other person we need to warp out of here now, and we head to the edge of the system, getting out just in time and travelling across nearby stars and seeing the explosion from this point. (Scale is similar to Sins)

      Some other bit where I'm planning a star fortress load-out, Stellaris UI. And some other bit about managing something in a star system, possibly in sequence with the planning.

      8:00 and onwards (order jumbled)
      Fragment:

      Climbing some eroded stone stairs. Some kind of natural or carved out limestone rock. Feels underground. As I go up the stairs, I leave behind random things, like statuettes of animals. There's also some animal following me? I don't feel attached to it however; it may be a bird. I remember an opening through which I can see a vast darkness but also underground "cliffs" and ravines. Maybe streaming water. The limestone has a beautiful creamy colour.

      Fragment:

      (Generally darker dream, both in lighting and mood) Dream streets, lots of people. Parts of the dream repeat themselves or I return to certain areas. The streets have shops, and there's a Japanese/neon-heavy feel. Something has a feel to it like Cybermancy.

      Some plot line about a group of people who are uploading themselves into a thing or collective. I am not especially interested or anything but I help them in some way and when they start getting persecuted by some assassins or something, I use a rifle, struggling on with it for a bit, until I realise I'm "missing a skill point" for it, which I then quickly put a point it. I aim at one of the assassin at point blank, as he aims at someone else with a firearm of his own. I shoot him in the head and he dies instantly. Then, twin female assassins (though not human) standing a few feet away and moving; I spot them and aim for the head, but miss my shot, hitting her in the back or chest, but she's not really harmed by the shot.

      She comes after me now and I apologise for not killing her with a single shot. I kneel, and expectantly wait for her to kill me. Something very Japanese in feel about this last bit.

      After I die, I think I return to a previous point in the dream and do other things, or differently.

      (recall gap?)

      Then, some place like L. I'm near a monument of some sort, in a large square, which in the dream I "know" about; there's a road around the monument? It's sort of rounded itself, but not at the front where the road is. It's clear and sunny and I think I'm with someone else at first, maybe family.

      The monument itself is a dream generated thing and the square reminds me more of France in some respects, although it definitely has the feel of L. I think there's an obelisk further away in the middle of the square. (I should draw this before I completely lose what little recall is left)

      Near the front of the monument and at head level, there's a wide gap that's not got much height to it, maybe two feet high in opening. Through it, I see some sunlight but mostly darkness, and this underplace seems to be full of dark earthy dirt and corpses, mostly skeletal I think, though I can't recall their state exactly.

      Then, as I circle around to the next corner, I climb some stairs. Up here, it's a relatively flat area which is a narrow-ish U shape. There are many stone benches, which are just part of the overall structure. Lavish and floral motifs, general renaissance or art nouveau aesthetics. The stone benches have fairly fancy cushions on them, of different and saturated-ish colours. People are touring and lazing about as in mostly any capitol-city style of a place. I head for a free seat at the bend/corner. The dream ends here, I feel just as something was about to happen.

      Edit: Somehow I had recorded the wrong date for this dream, corrected this now.

      Updated 04-30-2022 at 01:45 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment
    7. ccclxxiii. Mistreated vagabonds, GTA film and odd version of old home

      by , 03-20-2022 at 10:23 PM
      7th March 2022

      Long dream again, but recall was left until the next day. Somewhat disjointed.

      Fragment (DFLN):

      I am in a place like L or old home. After something? I am returning to what is "home", where mom and dad live. It's different. The apartment building is shorter, maybe four floors, counting ground. Night time, sodium street lights.

      At one point I'm having a conversation with mom and asking her where dad is. I think to myself that I haven't seen him at all during the day and find this odd for some reason.

      On the approach to the building or perhaps later on, on a different return, I enter a ground level floor. It looks burnt out and dilapidated; I think I am entering through the back door. There are bums and vagabonds filling this room and it looks like it may have been a cafe or canteen. A man stands out here, he is supposed to be taking care of these people who are less fortunate and he doesn't really seem to care about them, mistreating them in some way, but I lost recall of details.

      I don't like how he's treating them and I think I get into an argument with the man, wanting to find some way in which I can help, also possibly berating him for not trying or caring. Later, in a different part of the same building or maybe in adjoining building, I'm in an entrance stairwell. It has a lot of natural light and may have glass walls in part. Something about the staircase seems wrong and dangerous. I go up and down the stairs. I eventually decide that they need to be changed. Each step needs to be longer and slightly shorter, for safety. I think I start a plan on paper or something on how to do it and then do some of the work.

      Rest of recall lost.


      8th March 2022

      I left recall too long and when I started typing the dream recall started fading too because of wakefulness. The dream was quite long and fairly vivid.

      Fragment (DFLN):

      Living through some kind of live-action/full feature GTA film. Certain bits are in 3D. Something else is half game-like, like an RPG. In terms of physical location, it seems a bit like L and old home in general. The layout is different and it's a ground floor instead. Something about Trevor (GTA V) being missing and when he isn't anymore, he complains about how his 3D wasn't "updated as much".

      Outside and through a window I can see several cars. Three range rovers and maybe a van or something of the sort. The range rovers are all different models and colours and all modern, too.

      I am more aware of myself as a character now compared to before. I'm naked for some reason. My cousin is here and she was managing something about the cars? Maybe on a computer? She's also tidying things. I need to go to the bathroom. It's like the one I used to use at old home but it seems bigger and the toilet is more in the middle of the room. I put down a navy-blue coloured plastic donut or ring on top of the toilet and sit to have a wee.

      This whole place seems dark inside, but it's very bright outside, too.

      (earlier?) RPG bit where I have a more reptilian form and also bigger than most other characters. I seem to have levelled enough that I can start some kind of transcendence feature, which seems to relate mostly to getting better abilities.
    8. ccclxxii. Exploring a raid on my own, Forceful woman, Pipe dealer

      by , 03-20-2022 at 10:04 PM
      3rd March 2022

      Long dream, but I left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      Something like WoW but with more Korean-style game mechanics; progression, levels, gear, and so on mostly like Lost Ark. The areas have a similar feel to that game but it plays more like WoW. Then, I enter some end-game dungeon on my own and tell T about it, via PM I think. I figure that the dungeon is too hard for me to do alone and with my current gear. Looking in the map, I think at first that it's a small instance, at least until I realise there are other layers which are much bigger.

      I decide to explore the starting area of the instance a little bit, despite actually intending to leave. The place is a bit like a mix of Onyxia's lair and Molten Core. I explore a small rock tunnel, with a sort of high and triangular shape. This tunnel is next to a different tunnel which was the entrance. In the tunnel I explore, I find Hellfire orc engineers and a number of their landmines which are invisible at first. Not confident about my ability to solo this, I use a number of shielding abilities and area of effect (Paladin?). The mines do way less damage than I was expecting, not even taking my shields off.


      5th March 2022

      Fragment:

      H has a "Velvetiser" thing (his mom showed us this, recently) and H is using the machine. I can't see much of what's going on because I seem to be sitting down. In our kitchen?

      Fragment:

      Something about H transforming into a woman and being nearby or narrating. This (other) somewhat fat woman sits naked on top of my chest and is trying to get me to put my lips on her genitals. I resist and feel distressed by the forceful nature of what seems to be going on, being put off by the fact there is an odd taste or smell. I feel abused. (This feeling lingers as I wake up)


      6th March 2022

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      (near end of dream) I am with H in an area with a few small warehouses. I think in the middle of some woods, although there is a "town" feeling to the place. It also feels a bit like a garden centre? We go into one of the warehouses. There are stacks and stacks of wooden organ pipes. We make some deal with a white man, short black hair, mid 40s/50s. Then, before we leave, I ask him at last something that had been on my mind: "Do you know of any similar dealers such as yourself, who deal in metal pipes instead?"

      He does give me a reply in full but I lost recall of it. I do recall the reply was to my satisfaction and I gratefully express my thanks before we leave the warehouse. It's possible he gave me some contact details. Inside the warehouse, it seemed quite dark apart from the fact that it was lit by hanging bare incandescent bulbs. Outside it's sunny. There's a bright chalk-ish white gravel which makes paths. The woods are fir of some kind.
    9. ccclviii. New friend and old friend, encounters near the old home

      by , 02-02-2022 at 06:28 PM
      26th December 2021

      Scraps:

      Some dream like FL. No recall of details.

      Fragment:

      Something with JF. He looks like his character? He acts rashly and impatiently, aggressive at first but we end up talking and getting along a bit. This seems to take place at old home. Outside at night, in the cul-de-sac car park, I'm walking to dad's old Scenic? And then I try to clean it, but it's now H's van and I just have a small jam jar type of thing to dump soapy water with. Somebody comes over, telling me off. This guy is being territorial about me being here and I try to reassure him and try to leave/get away.

      Then, inside the car with JC from school. Going out of the cul-de-sac but then JF is at the bottom of the end of the road (doing what? also normal size) and sort of forces us to reverse. JC struggles reaching the pedals (he still appears to be his younger self?) and I have to press the clutch for him a few times.

      Now at home, I'm in the balcony area past my siblings' rooms. Something happens here with JF and some discussion. My gladius? He says he knows all about its "frequency" or something. Then, discussing something about someone who modelled a sword and who worked at Blizzard, but was lost. Lost marines? (What did I mean here?)


      29th December 2021

      Scraps:

      Something in DII, I have reserved mana (GD intrusion), and I also find myself having too little mana anyway, even though it's at a value near 900. I have spare stat points I spend on Energy. Act 1 area, in the moors?
    10. ccclvi.Defending against aliens, Mentoring a boy, Warm colour mall

      by , 01-30-2022 at 06:37 PM
      5th December 2021

      Fragment:

      Vague recall of being in my old bedroom. Dark, based on light, probably morning outside. My oldest sibling is at my computer playing some game.

      (recall gap)

      In some kind of hybrid space RTS/base defence thing. It doesn't feel like a game in the dream. Things go well at first, and then the attacking alien waves start to become much stronger. My fleet thing can't keep up and eventually things seem to sort of blend seamlessly into a big wide sort of control room. It's bright, and white-ish. The aliens are blue-grey or silvery and I remember checking their HP and realising that it's much higher than whenever I last checked it. (I am not sure why, but at the time of writing this, this made me think of Ender's Game)

      Then I start feeling like I'm alone and overwhelmed by the situation. The invaders become a mix of TCG units, but semi three dimensional. Some units have names that feel sexual? I get close to a "succubus zombie something" unit and it seems to just be the legs. Visually things don't make much sense. The legs are blue and have something like a mouth between them but I perceive this as female genitals during the dream. I stick my finger in the mouth and feel around inside. The teeth, lips and tongue look cartoonish, and are the normal "ideal" colours.


      6th December 2021

      Fragment:

      (left recall too long) Something about a boy I'm mentoring. I think I understand that I can't teach him everything at once and that the lessons I want to teach him aren't necessarily the ones that I can or should teach him right now. Dream location seems to be some mix of old home and an unknown place. It's dark? Abyssal? Certainly vast in some respect.


      12th December 2021

      Fragment:

      (recall left whole day) Something in a town, with H. Semi-detached houses. Then, something in a mall. Vast and open, orange and cream tones (sounds nice but don't have any visual recall anymore). Nobody is wearing a mask except for myself. I go down some stairs/escalator. I think I go past a food court?

      I leave the mall through a front entrance, I think. Eventually I'm back with H somewhere, and I comment on how "people 'down South' are careless" or something to that effect.
    11. cccliii. Brief lucid in a town and False Awakening on a sofa bed

      by , 01-23-2022 at 11:19 PM
      29th November 2021

      Very abridged, many details weren't retained after waking; this was a brief lucid involving a false awakening and the lucid part felt continuous and lasting several minutes.

      Dream:

      I am out and about in a place like old home. Reminds me of 98 and I am with mom maybe, and a group of kids. It's some kind of school trip. (mom is here as a teacher?) I cross some foot bridge thing. It's sunny. I then go into a cafe or shop place, somewhat dark and unlit, except by the bounced light from outside. There are a few dream characters here, there's a counter of some kind on the left side and the place is deep-ish, being long and relatively narrow more than anything else.

      I start hearing my thoughts and they are very present. My thoughts tell me I'm dreaming and I confirm this in some way by interacting in some specific way with the people. For some reason, I still feel self-conscious, or like it's impolite to do anything right away, excusing myself and eventually going outside again. My memory in the dream feels decent and I perceive all the visual details vividly but physical sensations are faint.

      As I walk between two buildings, I start feeling some kind of arousal but successfully repress it. Instead of letting myself give in to an urge of making myself grow, I start trying to fly. Unable to fly, I am more leaping in large bounds of varying gravity each time. At some point I lose a bit of lucid awareness but I realise this and so I regain some clarity.
      Eventually I slip away into non-lucidness again and "wake up" falsely, into some other dream segment.

      Then I am in a sofa bed with S; she seems needlessly concerned, anxious. This looks like the room me and H have stayed in, when I've visited my parents; it feels like old home, anyway. Thinking I'm actually awake, I try to ignore her a bit and I take my phone out to write down my dream, starting on some detail. But I stop because I'm interrupted by H, who's prompting me to get up as he comes into the room. We discuss something about our day coming ahead.

      (recall gap?) Still in the same place, I am playing some game? Something about the original DOOM. Then I realise it's 3PM somehow, and wonder why or how it got so late, kind of in shock. But I don't dwell on it very long. (missed a perfect cue here)

      (recall gap)

      In some kind of ship, something about a fridge and some chemicals, including screenwash?

      Notes:


      - I mostly repressed the urge for growing because I always end up feeling like lucidity makes me want to do sexual things, which is fine, but at the same time I also want to focus on other things. Many times I've tried falling asleep with painting, or even art in general, in mind as a lucid objective just in case I ever do become lucid, since it's rare for me.

      - After I became lucid, I have some recall that after the two buildings there was a cityscape past a dip (river?) but also a sort of digital-looking existence, like in some old 2000s 3D cartoons. There was something bizarre and unusual about the background, anyway, as well as some other kind of foot bridge.

      - The manner in which I became lucid was unusual, not that I have a great deal of samples to compare with.
    12. cccxliv. Secret level, Stabbing to help, Blown up town

      by , 01-09-2022 at 05:34 PM
      30th October 2021

      Scraps (DFLN):

      Game-like world, lots of yellow sulphur colours. Some kind of secret level with giant spiders. I don't feel afraid but possibly a little anxious because of the overall situation; I feel pressured to get to the bottom quickly, there may be a timer or score. The spiders look like alternate versions of regular garden spiders (orb weavers, I think).

      Some other bit, T is at a computer playing a game and I stab him from behind at the top of his back with two black steel arrows and then I quickly pull them back out. He doesn't seem to be in pain and has very little reaction to this. I'm doing this for his own good, not to kill him. I put pressure over the bleeding. This seems to take place at some kind of open but sheltered guard tower, in a castle or something?

      Possibly still from that bit, some kind of trade hub town. It's blown up by a nuke thing at one point, and using time travel I find out it was bound to happen at 7PM. I find out circumstances are different from what I had expected, something about an army general.
    13. cccxlii. Growing woman, something about dreaming, Ed Edd n Eddy segment

      by , 01-09-2022 at 01:50 AM
      20th October 2021

      Some in-line bracketed notes. Was too tired to properly write down initial notes on recall.

      Fragment:

      Growing female dream character, an NPC of some kind. She's white, her hair is not black but it's dark and tied back. I have to watch over her for a while to make sure I get points correctly for some reason. She is or gets to about three or four times my size. We're in water, or floating in the air?

      Before that, there was more going on in the same area, something about a dream thing? (Intrusion from "Dream Academy" related PM by MoonageDaydream, I really regretted not being able to hold on to this part of recall.)

      Even earlier, something about Ed Edd 'n Eddy (the cartoon); I'm talking to someone but seeing/watching the cartoon too? I mention that some of my interest in growth themes probably comes from watching cartoons like this. Some appropriately themed scene plays out in the cartoon, involving Edd mostly, I think. (I remember on waking considering how he was often a thematically unwilling victim, even in a case like this that might be "empowering").
    14. cccxxxviii. Games, Pressured by others, Decision made without consulting me

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:39 AM
      4th October 2021

      Scraps:

      (a long dream, but poor recall)

      Some RTS segment and I recall beaches and water.

      One part a bit Minecraft-like or some other game. T is here and someone else is with me? Some kind of tower, or otherwise large structure.

      One of the last parts of the dream, I am my alter-ego and there are interactions with me as such. The other people are dream-generated. They seem to be pressuring me, or something? Despite my form, I feel slightly shorter than others.

      Some other dream? H has convinced mom and dad to bring S over here. I think H goes to pick them up and I remember seeing them all at one point. I feel concerned about S because of all the usual reasons regarding costs and also because of the long trip.

      Notes:


      - The last part was certainly a reflection of how I sometimes don't feel listened to or validated on, regarding both matters of money and of companionship. In the segment, some beliefs I hold as very important are partly betrayed by my closest, besides the fact I feel it may be detrimental to both S's health and to my financial situation.

      - That same segment probably also relates to how I have often been very easily upset by changes to what a situation is and changes to what it would be or would have been.

      - More recently it has been more frequent for me to take on my alternate form in my non-lucid dreams. In this case, the context likely relates to my art and some perception that the expectations of others are above my own. My stature is clearly metaphorical in regards to my feelings in terms of recognition, but this dream element also relates directly to some of my choice themes and how I've often felt physically inadequate in some specific areas (primarily to my own expectations) when compared to others.
      -- I do not recall what exactly the other people were pressuring me about, but in terms of my waking life contexts, art is the most directly relevant context here.
    15. cccxxxv. Gruul's lair raid with NPCs, Space stuff

      by , 10-13-2021 at 05:33 PM
      24th September 2021

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too.



      26th September 2021

      There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think?

      Fragment:

      One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive.



      Notes:

      - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles.

      - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression.

      - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
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