• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cclxiii. Lodged bullet, Upheaval

      by , 05-05-2021 at 08:53 PM
      2nd May 2021

      Fragment:

      Initially something about Terraria. I'm on some kind of mini MMO server. It's 2D at first as it should be, but then starts to become 2.5D and eventually blends into normal reality as I exit some caves I'd been mining in. There was a lot of ore in the caves, but mostly copper and iron.

      I exit the cave to an exterior location. It's sunny but I'm under the shade of a metal canopy of some kind. I have guns like in UT or something. There are some flying enemies nearby, to my right, and I think about shooting them with a beam weapon but I don't for some reason. They have wings? Are they eyes, maybe? Some kind of stereotype fantasy creature, at any rate.

      Then I climb or jump down further ahead, where there's a lower roof, using it as a midway point to the ground. There's a human but he's some kind of boss? I'm talking with H at the same time, discussing what's happening I think. Some recall is missing but I eventually change to a traditional sniper rifle and fire at point blank range against the man's neck. I can imagine the bullet and it goes through the front of the neck but leaves no visible wound or blood and it gets lodged under the cranium at the back, on the right side.

      But then the person becomes H and I turn the head to inspect and there's the lump of the bullet about where I thought it would be. I tell H it's fine, we'll get someone to remove it.



      4th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about schools part of a network/group called "plus (something)"? I'm in a town but unsure where. Reminds me of my native country and there's these small and perfectly laid out buildings, which are taking over everywhere as if they are invading and replacing other things. The buildings are alien in origin or something, the dream implies, but they look like regular buildings in a modern style, though having something to do with this group of schools or something.

      There's some kind of instancing effect going on and things phase in and out of reality depending on where I stand exactly; in the phase space there are only two specific things to eat for some reason and this becomes a way for me to identify that I'm in this phased space. I think something about the colour of the atmosphere changes too but recall is somewhat muddled and partly gone and some bits of this feel as if they were from an earlier awakening.

      Some recall is missing but later on, there's some bit in a kitchen underground in a bunker of some kind and this is like the headquarters of whatever is going on. In this kitchen, there are two women, they are busy cooking and concocting things? I think they have aprons on but I don't recall any other details other than that maybe one had her hair tied up. They are the masterminds, it's implied somehow. They don't seem to care about my presence. The door to the kitchen is locked with some type of electronically controlled lock and some people want to get in here because a meteor is crashing soon and this is the safest place, even within the entirety of this bunker. There's a large window into the next room and there are random groupings of people through there. I remember interacting and talking with the two women but I'm not sure what any of us said.

      Then the meteor hits and some people outside the room get scared but nothing much happens other than some prolonged shaking.

      (recall gap)

      Outside with someone, implied to be after the meteor hit on the surface. I was here before at some point in the dream but it wasn't like this, everything looks kind of orange and wrecked now, debris and general mess everywhere. There are dead headcrabs? The person I'm with is cooking and eating them.

      (gap)

      Some other bit where I see a city like London (which layout I know vaguely) in some kind of overview and it's broken up by ravines and mountains. Someone wants a new map made to reflect all this or something and I or another dream character draw it on some kind of black sandy stuff with a stick or rod? The lines are a dark blood red.
    2. cclvi. Fuzzy reality, Memories, teaching a friend and dad's cancer

      by , 04-22-2021 at 03:10 PM
      22nd April 2021

      There are quite a few personal thoughts and notes here but I guess when are dreams ever anything other than personal? But this took me quite a while to type up, which is frustrating on some level.

      Fragment:


      Playing DII, with the barbarian. I remember I look at the waypoints and see I'm in Act 3 but it's actually hell (Act 4). The colours all look weird, the character looks a fuzzy dark navy blue on some parts. It's generally dark and I am going to where Diablo "lives", I remember going past the hellforge or something.

      Very little recall of this dream but it had a strange feel to it, a bit like some of the weirder pre-sleep dreams I used to get as a kid, where reality made no sense with waking physics and was all fuzzy like static noise.

      (DFLN) Dream:

      Spoiler for Lengthy dream:


      Spoiler for Notes, spoilered for length:

      Updated 04-22-2021 at 03:13 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    3. ccxlvii. Space combat, Swamp trials

      by , 04-08-2021 at 11:14 AM
      8th April 2021

      Scraps:

      (chronology unknown)

      I'm in a ship in space. There's a Freelancer feel to things but things look more realistic. I'm flying with two escorts through some kind of debris field and when we encounter some hostiles I shoot one of my wingmen by accident at one point. My ship has enough firepower that it's pretty much a one-shot kill and a message comes up and tells me I have failed the mission. I can't understand it because the wingmen were not marked as mission-critical.

      I click retry or something but then I'm doing different things. Vague recall of a more normal Freelancer sequence where I'm in an Eagle and using Salamanca weapons. Intense manoeuvring.

      Some other sequence. Also in a game of some kind? Doing some kind of time-trial thing and there's a score multiplier that goes up to x30. It works like the DOOM arcade trials in a sense but the game itself is a mix of RoR2 and something else, having a more crude feel to it. There's a swampy area I go through and maybe some kind of ancient temple. The ambience seems a bit grungy and not particularly bright.

      Another thing, relating to the space bit. I am in some kind of station, it's advanced. There's a lot of green and black and I think there are many enemies. My relative power level to theirs is massively superior but it still takes a little bit of time to clear enemies. I'm trying to get to an access or lift perhaps. The area has a very open-design kind of look and is like some kind of massive sci-fi raid dungeon.
    4. ccxli. Giving a boy a ride, Tank-driving and deity avatar fighting

      by , 03-23-2021 at 03:00 AM
      21st March 2021

      Dream:

      At a dining table? Not sure if it's even in a room exactly, but there's a feel of the dining room at my old home. Mom and T are playing some strange eastern game or something involving objects they throw over to each other. The table is long like a festive dining table? Something about decorating it.

      The trim of the table has been painstakingly put together from dozens or hundreds of strips of decorative paper or something. Another bit uses some kind of holographic projection. I wonder or ask why it simply wasn't all done with the projection method.

      (recall gap)

      Some bit in a town. Looks like my native country, streets very similar to that of towns near where I used to live. I'm coming up a hilly bit on foot. There's someone I'm supposed to meet and pick up but I have to tell him I won't be able to. I see him by some kind of public transport stop.

      He's a black teen, with short hair. I ask him if he's waiting for one of us, from my family. He confirms that he is. I then explain that I won't be able to take him because I don't have a car right now. Dad or L is using it?

      He doesn't seem to be disappointed and explains that he got a vehicle of his own and will be able to use that; it's some kind of trike?

      I ask him to be careful, I think I'll feel responsible if he has an accident.




      22nd March 2021

      Dream:

      I'm in a tank, at first in some kind of RTS-like view mode, but soon after moving around this scenario for a bit it changes to a regular (closer) third-person view.

      I find some targets along the way and destroy them, as I'm headed somewhere. An enemy base of some kind? The enemy units seem frightened and try to keep as much distance as possible and avoid me. I fire the main cannon but also use the secondary gun to destroy enemy targets.

      I remember feeling myself use a keyboard and maybe seeing it too (old yellowed keyboard?) to control cannon pitch and yaw. I also have a secondary type of ammo for the cannon, some miniature warheads, which I use a few times?

      Eventually, after all the ground targets are down, I head towards a square-ish hole in the ground. I switch to a first person view now, in which I can see the cannon sticking out. I "crawl" down into the hole slowly, not wanting to fall down as there is a drop and a boss down below. Some kind of giant, an avatar of some deity I think.

      I try firing one of the warheads into the room below since I don't actually have direct line of sight to the boss but it doesn't seem to affect it, as a health bar for the boss an a UI remains unchanged.

      Hesitant, I eventually go down. I engage this avatar in combat using my main cannon and trying to keep my distance from its swiping. The avatar has a muscled and male form, it's colouration is dark, maybe a black tone like basalt.

      He talks to me as he fights, but I cannot recall what about. I don't do much damage and the boss kills me eventually. I respawn in a chamber adjacent to the boss room. The whole place has an ancient classical look to it. Although this passes me by in the dream, it actually reminds me of Act2 levels from Daikatana.

      The boss room itself had a very similar look. It is octagonal and with a few (sort of) central pillars. There's a shallow level of water and it looks clear. This water is also present in the other large room I was respawned in.

      After a tiny bit of exploring? I try to get the boss to come out of his room since there's actually more room to fight him in this one. It doesn't work though, he's apparently "leashed" and eventually I just go back in the main boss room again.

      I can't recall the rest but the dream went on for quite a while.


      Notes:
      - I don't know why but I feel compelled to register a sudden observation. Lately in dreams I feel there has been some absence of emotion.

      - The deity's avatar was probably based off some recent boss fights in some games.

      - Although it's unusual that I had some awareness of the keyboard in a way that made me step out of "tunnel vision", for the most part in that dream I was just immersed into its reality in the same way that I am when playing a game in waking reality.
    5. ccxl. Black cat, Expanded cafe

      by , 03-23-2021 at 02:42 AM
      17th March 2021

      (didn't capture recall before it faded)

      Fragment:

      I am driving; I'm in the middle of a fast changing situation?

      I made a game of some kind and I'm playing through it. Maybe it's like Doom in gameplay but some part of it makes me think of AvP.



      18th March 2021


      Fragment:


      Black cat, rubbing it under where the rib cage started as it seemed to be where it enjoyed it most. Unusually, this unnerved me a bit for some reason. H is sitting next to me and giving the cat attention too. The cat resembled Y. (in-lne note, it's possible it unnerved me because a dream character is effectively a part of me, and I don't particularly like being touched under or on the sternum but I wouldn't have much of a problem with doing this with a pet if it's what it wanted)

      Fragment:


      At my old home's town. Driving down through the avenue that is by the church. I'm a passenger. The driving and such are all on the correct side.

      I see the cafe that's to my left, the one that has the office supplies shop. It's front end is being expanded, like they're adding on to the in-door esplanade space. In the dream I assume this has something to do with Covid and social distancing.
    6. ccxvii. Daikatana marshes, Art anxieties, Nobody wearing a mask

      by , 01-26-2021 at 08:03 PM
      25th January 2021

      Fragment:

      Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

      I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

      26th January 2021


      Dream:

      I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

      Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

      There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

      I feel disappointed, or hurt.

      Dream:

      I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

      I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

      I can't recall where we go or end up.



      Notes:
      - Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
      -- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

      - The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

      Updated 01-26-2021 at 08:09 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    7. ccxi. Mission rewards, old theme park

      by , 01-17-2021 at 11:29 AM
      15th January 2021

      Dream:

      I am delivering a Borderlands mission. The UI is like BL1 but I'm not actually in one of the games from the series. I can choose between two legendary rewards. One is a sniper and the other a grenade launcher. I check for some kind of extra stats which are supposed to appear in blue; the grenade launchers' tooltip is greatly expanded and there's something about it having a unique ability which allows summoning one of five vehicles of choice.

      I'm what looks like either a warehouse district or an airbase/military base. Mom and dad are here and some other people I don't recall, too. H is nearby?

      Anyway, I decide to summon one of the vehicles. It's a very Metal Slug-esque tank and it has a somewhat shiny panelling, either red or grey.

      Skipping ahead a bit. In an abandoned, disused or ruined area. I go through some dark tunnel and fighting stuff happens. Then an interaction with some character makes me reveal that it had been some kind of theme park, long ago (I surprise myself?).

      There is what looks like giant heads of an extremely realistic-looking horse and a canid of some sort. Their mouths or lips move about, but as if swaying with no control. I think about it a little bit and conclude it's the wind. We are near the coast. It's sunny but sunset-like and looks like a scene off DSII; the lips of the animal heads look ripped, like they're made of leather or some kind of heavy duty material chosen to be close enough to real textures.

      I think some part of me thinks about drawing.
    8. ccx. Digging under tiles for gold

      by , 01-14-2021 at 10:48 AM
      14th January 2021

      Fragment:


      Something about being at a family gathering of some sort. The house is a mix of my old home and my aunt B's house.

      My siblings are here but I don't recall the room we're in. We play some kind of reality-blended game in which I am looking for gold to be found under floor tiles. I remember we discuss some game statistics. I cut up some tile and beneath I find copper pipe for water and am slightly disappointed and relieved I didn't cut through it.

      In the kitchen, which looks like the oldest version of the one from the old home, I see some kind of little poster or card about mood and being sorry from my aunt.

      Vague recall of using one of those rounded metal body box cutters.

      The atmosphere was like the blinds were all rolled down but allowing light through. There was a warm look of light that I haven't seen for some time now.
    9. ccix. Game farm

      by , 01-13-2021 at 06:50 PM
      13th January 2021

      Initial recall had been decent but I didn't take any notes and I was too focused on other things in the morning.

      Fragment:

      Playing some kind of game; blended with reality. I'm in an area with crops, I can't remember how far along they are but it's a sunny day. I have some recall of my sibling T being nearby; does an in-game emote and then sits down under a tree's shade. Had a generic farmer look. Part of the behaviour was blended with what I might expect from H.

      Something about going up some stairs before that, a much darker place. It was also a game-like reality and something about it now just makes me think of L4D or KF.
    10. ccvi.

      by , 01-09-2021 at 01:48 PM
      9th January 2021

      Fragment:

      (from last to earliest)

      Watching, or playing a game like War Thunder but it also included infantry. It was going a little bit wacky by the end of the dream with weird physics bugs. At some point I recall seeing some soldiers from a third-person point of view behind them where they would set off some rockets but then ride them; with the weird physics bugs it resulted in a lot of stuff bouncing around the place and I remember one of the rockets detonated on colliding sideways with a rocket launching flatbed truck.

      An earlier sequence, was with H in an alternate version of the town we live in. We went to some kind of physical therapy group and we were both doing the same activities. By the end H was complaining it had hurt him and he couldn't see the benefit as a result of this. I remember saying something about how this being how it always was (for me).

      Another part. Half participating, half watching; some kind of mega rally race thing. Two motorbikes in the lead, the one with the greater lead is from the USA and the second one is from the UK; I remember seeing this second bike, it seemingly had no rider and it had a Union Jack paint job that actually looked decent.

      There were hundreds of other cars and motorbikes on this race, I recall seeing them on a map which showed the entire circuit - it was a very long and convoluted circuit in a mountainous area - but they were literally several miles off these two leading bikes. The bike from the USA still had many seconds of lead on the UK bike. Vague recall of my dad being nearby?
    11. cc. Computer and house-building and bishop sibling

      by , 12-20-2020 at 09:52 PM
      20th December 2020

      Fragment:

      Last bit. Building some new Ryzen computer. I'm struggling to put in ancillary wires on a boxy thing on top of the case, which supposedly has the new CPU itself. I wonder why it fits so badly and I think that I'll need H's help for this.

      Just before that, I'm in a reality that has Sims-based rules or something like that and I'm in first person and building ourselves a house together with H.

      Before this I'm in a church walking up the aisle at a quick pace. I think it's day time outside and there's a nice sort of yellow natural light indoors. The altar area looks like a semi octagon or hexagon. The church is filling up and when I was walking up the aisle I was doing so with my eldest sibling, apparently a bishop in red garments with white undercloth and a red cap. He goes to sit where bishops are apparently supposed to sit, on some sort of commode things by the altar.

      There was more but recall was lost.
    12. cxcviii. Old town DOTA

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:50 AM
      9th December 2020

      Fragment:

      Some bits in the car with H. I remember it was night time. Vague recall relating to something BL-like too. (location recall faded and dream not visually present in my mind anymore)

      13th December 2020

      Dream:

      I am in some town, it is day time but nearly sunset. There's some downward ramp bit which leads out of town but there's a fence at the end of the ramp and I recognise this as being some kind of little construction supplies area. There's nobody around? (rest of this first dream bit recall had faded)

      Then I am in my old town. It seems kind of dark and I'm walking up the avenue next to the church but I'm on the road itself, not the pavement. Not a night sky, just a black one. (like in a recent previous dream)

      Things are RPG-like I note, and I spot some enemy players coming from the opposite way, toward me and from two opposing ends of the roundabout at the top. It starts to feel like DOTA and the view becomes more top-down too.

      I try to lure one of these enemy players over to my side/area and I make sure to stay at a certain distance from them (interface perception of attack ranges?). I sense an allied player is nearby too. Me and one of the enemies stun each other simultaneously and then the other enemy player comes in. I get the first one nearly dead kind of quickly but I too am near death and so I wonder why my ally isn't or hasn't been helping me fight.

      Friendly mobs come around from "behind" and I get the first enemy player killed, I'm very, very nearly dead and I retreat away. My ally finally joins in and distracts the second enemy.

      I get to our main base and am thinking about how my HP regeneration is so slow and how I should (could) improve my strength stat to better this. I remember thinking or noticing that I didn't buy any of the usual starting items like I should have, not even tango or branch.
    13. clxxxiv. Supplements, Playing catch

      by , 11-01-2020 at 06:10 PM
      21st October 2020

      There was a big dream from my first awakening but I couldn't retain recall.

      Fragment:

      In a shop with H. There are big standing fridges, the type with glass doors. We are looking at some supplements or something and H points at a few different ones. I want to pick something not too expensive. I think some of these are vitamin B supplements.

      Fragment:

      In an old warehouse building? Dark and dingy. But I'm here with a girl, she's white, about my height and age, maybe older, she has loose hair, fake blonde or blonde. Reminds me of Ellie from NCIS and other characters of similar archetypes. We're both naked and aroused as we're playing some kind of sexy game of catch. At one point she's taunting me playfully and because she sticks out her arm towards me I grab her by the arm and pull her toward me. She laughs in her defeat and we get more intimate.

      (Recall gap.)

      Then I'm on my own and I wander toward a dirtier area. The dream starts to mix with BL and there's some area I can't get through because it's claimed and has locked doors. I hear people talking beyond the doors, making plans. I decide to try and dig my way around into their town.

      Fragment:

      Walking up a place like the nearby bridge over the station. Rest of recall gone.



      Notes:

      - Although most of my recall of these fragments is very limited now, I still have a bit of the visual recall of the dream in the warehouse. Despite it being a dark and somewhat empty place, there was light coming in through some windows near the top of one of the walls. In a way, this warehouse has some resemblance to the gym space where I had a lot of PE lessons.

      - The warehouse area seems like an odd place to me for something erotic to happen, as I tend to be somewhat averse to dirt, but in the last year I have had to get into dirty areas more often because of helping H with work. The girl's presence and our interactions may have been some metaphor of our relationship manifesting itself in the dream. I often wish I could be more romantic as in that dream, but I am often too tired and too preoccupied with my internal worries to feel like I can initiate something like that properly.
    14. clxxvi. Leading ghouls and having base destroyed, Facing an ettin and dying; reincarnation

      by , 10-10-2020 at 12:25 PM
      5th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Dream about Warcraft 3 and some special game mode where you would get cash injections every so often, instead of being able to mine gold. You also started out with a single worker.

      I think I was playing this with my siblings, but it was mixed in with reality and the locations were based on my old town?

      I was playing as Undead and got some groups of ghouls going after having made some basic buildings (a ziggurat or two and a necropolis?). I went out from the base, leading the ghouls, mix of myself and a hero unit. At some point while away from the base, another player showed up at the base and destroyed mostly everything. I remember trying to get the acolyte worker away.

      7th October 2020

      Scraps/bulletpoints:

      - Bit in a dark hallway. Expected Diablo to be at the end. Instead there was an ettin. There were other creatures on the way there. Died at the end.
      - Reincarnated? Somewhere else after that.
      - BL items with modified look.
      - Going around with a group of other people who were also reincarnates, I am surprised about having memories of my past life (direct memory of the previous dream sections). In the dream, I think of posting about this on DV.
      - At the end of the dream, something about a group masturbation event with the rest of the reincarnates? We were surrounding a naked black man who was in his room. He was posing for us.
    15. clxxiv.

      by , 10-03-2020 at 01:50 AM
      2nd October 2020

      Scraps:

      (Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

      Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

      Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?
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