DarkestDarkness

22nd February 2021

Dream:

I'm in a hotel or apartment building. I'm on a floor above ground level but don't know which; I am walking towards a lobby-looking hall, with elevators and I want to go to the ground floor. There's this group of four black guys in their late teens, they seem to be shadowing me but I don't let it bother me even though they look like they could easily be trouble if they wanted to.

I let them know I've seen them by looking at one of them in the eye, through a mirror showing us all. The mirror is between the elevator doors. None of us speak, that I can recall and they're just doing their own thing behind me at any rate, some kind of non-verbal communication.

(recall gap)

I'm outside, in the streets of a town. It's night time? I have awareness of Covid, but I'm not wearing a mask. It bothers me, but for some reason I make no effort to find one. Throughout most of the dream onwards this bothers me a bit on some level.

At some point I meet up with M, whom I haven't seen in years in waking life. I remember he has a car? Like an SUV or something. There's something about my aunt B too.

I walk around town, it's a bit like there's some kind of annual fair on. I am finding these little areas where there's some kind of more conventional role playing game involving furries in fursuits. But they look much more realistic, like they're actually their characters. One of them tells me they will actually pay me if I participate in the games wearing a fursuit myself. I think to myself I wouldn't mind, but I don't have one and would likely end up feeling embarrassed anyhow.

(recall is vague for the following two paragraphs)

At one point I'm climbing some stone stairs. It's sort of outdoors, but under some kind of natural rock formation? There's these two statues... I've seen them elsewhere in the dream. They look like they're flowing with some magical energy, it's a deep blue colour. The statues are damaged, incomplete. I remember thinking they're supposed to be in some museum somewhere, but this is actually their original location. This is a different place from the town? In Russia somewhere, I somehow understand. This is where they were first discovered.

The statues are from ancient Greece, but from a more mythological period or something. They look like the lower bodies of some serpentine creatures, scaly. The heads are missing and one statue practically only has the very bottom of it left. I remember going past the statues while thinking about the whole thing, then I go up some more stone stairs. There's one of those role playing games again here, I forget what happens but it's some kind of murder mystery and I'm greeted by a furry who is dark and almost crawling at ground level, and he seems eager for me to take part in the game.

Eventually I come across an attraction which takes place in a castle. I remember telling M I would try it out and that I'd let him know later all about it. You have to queue up for the attraction but initially there's just me and one other person.

A heavy wooden door opens and allows us in. Inside, I immediately gain a HUD and there's some semblance to Legend of Zelda. I grab a knife, it looks toy-like and oversized somehow. I use it to attack some creatures. I then find a mace, in a similar style. My ally goes first through the next door. A stone armour golem tries to ambush him from behind but I hit it with the mace on the head, making enough noise my ally notices and doesn't get ambushed. We defeat the golem.

We're now in a big room. It's church-like, cathedral-like, even. There's a Dark Souls feel to it. A boss is in the middle, we try fighting it but it deals a lot of damage.

(memory intrusion?)

Something about WoW, a group of players fighting a boss. One player is a monk tanking and rolling around and healing himself but not quickly enough.

Then, we have eventually lost our battle with the boss in the church-like room. I am outside now and at the queue again? There's a lot more people here waiting this time. They're all younger than me and some look very impatient and like they'd be a bit rude.

(recall gap)

I'm on some castellated bit, across from the castle with the game attraction in it. There's other people here too, sat at rudimentary and makeshift artillery things that have a fantasy feel to them. I try one, but it's broken and does nothing. Sunset? I recall artillery from these guns going into the core of the other castle, I remember they were supposedly targetting the boss and providing support this way.

I forget the rest but the dream ended soon after.

---

Notes:
- I feel the chronology of the dream is messed up versus what it actually was, but I didn't try to fix it.

- There's something very personal to this dream about the dichotomy of me separating my life into separate organised areas of thought. Yesterday I had been thinking of consolidating some things.

More catching up.

13th July 2020

Fragment:

Mix of WoW, Minecraft and Dwarf Fortress. (DFLN thread)

Remember mining like in Minecraft and then stumbling into a Dark Iron fortress. Remember meeting with Hnk and some small raid group he had. Not sure what they were doing or if I joined or not. I vaguely recall some combat in a semi-open area (but still underground?).

16th July 2020

Fragment:

Few details remain. There was a small tree, a sapling, in a plant pot and atop a low wall.

For some reason earlier in the dream I had tried to cut the sapling with a serrated knife but not like a serious one, more like a table knife. Now I was trying again because I was making adjustments to a road next to this low wall. I was marking and dividing up the new lanes for this road and my lane dividers were made from stuff just laying about.

But as I was trying to cut this tree, two people came my way, I knew one of them from waking life but I forget who it was. The other one, was the owner of the small tree and he was a dream character. He seemed distressed by what I was doing and I tried to cover up the cuts I'd made on the tree. When he approached further as they got closer, he asked me what I was doing and all that sort of thing.

I tried to explain that I needed his tree and now actually I only wanted a cutting from one of the branches to propagate the tree. Some of the bits where I'd been cutting the tree at looked more like they'd been lathed than cut as they were very perfect and circular (spiral?). It made the tree have a very "modern" style look somehow.

19th July 2020

Fragment:

Quite a few dreams but mostly only memorised one segment.

Near the end of the dream, I was having a conversation with someone I knew from school a long time ago (who?). I remember seeing his face but somehow we were both near each other and not near all at once.

For some reason he started talking to me about my relationships. He commented that I had "abandon" some of my habits, referring to how I don't look at men the same way as I do women usually. He said I was a acchrophyl or something. No idea, but it looked a made up word as it happens in dreams. (DFLN thread)

I remember then seeing a white background and a sort of slideshow with still images depicting an anthropomorphic wolf and a person and the person had a silly face and was looking toward the camera and pointing at the wolf. The wolf was looking embarrassed and pointing at the ground ahead of him. I don't remember the rest of the slides.

We talked more but I forget the details. Then H arrived somewhere in the van and I went to meet up with him and get in.

I remember having passing thoughts about how this guy from school was seeming very wise in these conversations, which seemed unexpected. I don't remember anything else except that this segment was in continuation of another where I had been exploring an abandoned mall bunker with people who were possibly also old schoolmates. I remember thinking it all looked intact and immaculate and everything still worked, so I wondered why it was abandoned.

Dreams from 14th, 17th and 18th. Mostly just copied directly from any morning notes I made for each day. Some notes in-line with the entries.

---

14th:

Dream Fragment:

First dream? Some Egyptian place, a big outdoor temple. I remember detailed stone and all the shapes I normally associate with ancient Egyptian architecture. I remember night time but also day time. It was a fairly long dream.

It was a game like world or something. I was Link from Legend of Zelda? I remember fighting winged obsidian statues (likely "borrowed" from WoW). I remember the feel of a controller in my hands though. Maybe a Gamecube or Nintendo 64 controller, but could have just been a Wii one, since the joysticks have remained fairly similar over the years.

Dream Fragment:

A dream I'd travelled to my native country but with my high school class, and some other classmates from childhood. I remember we were in a coastal area visiting something. I forget all the details. This black I knew, Milt, was messing around some exhibit area? And then we were burying smoe ancient and withered corpse that had not received any funereal service. We then surrounded him with rocks and then placed larger boulders on top of him. The corpse was on a small dirt incline, about 20 or 30 degrees steep.

Then I remember a room, indoors but nearby. It was dark inside, but I can't remember what happened there.

Dream Fragment:

Last dream that I woke up with, a WoW dream. Was playing rogue as usual and I was together with a raid group in Orgrimmar. We were in a different version of Thrall's throne room, it was more like a mix of Stormwind in a way because there was a lot of white stone and it was well lit.

We were all bunched up in a corner, waiting for Horde players to come. I remember we didn't want to attack Thrall until we'd dealt with most of the nuisance players that would appear. We had already attacked Thrall before? I remember feeling surprise at the fact that none of the Alliance players from the raid group were messing around.

17th:

Scraps:

Something about trains? Vaguely recall the dream took place outside and that it was day.

18th:

Dream:

The dream was a bit of a mix of Freelancer and other space games I've played over the years. I was avoiding some large blocky asteroids while flying a ship, and when I got clear of the asteroids I noticed a planet in the distance. I kept my course which was already on approach to it and noticed a gas cloud/small nebula formation appear. It was a green-ish dark mustard colour and mostly surrounded the planet. Like a smog coming off the planet.

I remember the descent down into the atmosphere in some detail. There was some virtual interface element somewhere that, combined with the structures I saw, made me understand that the planet was mostly covered by factories and dense cities comprised mostly of narrow but tall skyscrapers. It looked like most of the surface area was being maximised for industrial output space, not for living. I landed somewhere and went to a bar of sorts, typical of Freelancer-like gameplay.

People didn't look well off. There was a stereotypical North American "Trucker" feel to the place and there was an overall air that this entire place existed in a state of bare subsistence. I remember talking to some of these people but I don't remember exactly about what. It was night time both through the descent and while I was at the bar place.

Dream Fragment:

Some underground place, very well lit. There was a feel to the dream like some of the more dark and serious anime type stuff, such as full film-type productions. There were policemen with gas masks and they threw some sort of stunning gas grenades. I try to escape with two other people. We were doing a heist or something? The police looked like the Secreta from E.Y.E. but with typical blue and white colours instead of gold and black.

Some transition or outside? A rail track of some sort. The dream was quite long but I was a bit too tired and I've forgotten most details. I remember two groups of people, and Auron from FFX. There was some cart carriage thing that went on the rail track...

Some fragments. Recall seemed better for the second and third dreams on waking up.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was in the kitchen. It was a bit dark but not night time. Like very early morning just after sun rise, and with the blinds rolled down. I remember standing by the fridge, naked I think? I remember seeing my feet and legs. For some reason, I could hear in my head what I thought at the time to be a theme song for the TV show called Roswell, a show I never watched myself, but I know of it. I don't actually remember what that music sounded like but it seemed familiar in the dream, in a way that makes me think that it had nothing to do with that show, but I'll have to try and find it after writing this DJ.

Wedged between the fridge and the counter it is adjacent to, I remember noticing one of the wooden grave markers H's dad was working on yesterday when we went there. The cross was upside down and it looked like we had just shoved it in there in a hurry to make some room in the kitchen. The fridge is a fridge on top and freezer on the bottom and I remember seeing the logo somewhat distinctly in the dream.

No idea how this dream went on or ended.

Dream Fragment:

I was entering some sort of supermarket, it felt like it was underground. There were quite a few people here, seemed like a popular place. Looked a bit like the cheap supermarket I go to but for whatever reason my old friend from university, R, was walking along with me. We both had a trolley.

I was very confused by the layout, first there were mostly energy drinks and then soft drinks. I think I commented on them being crap but I also felt hungry more than anything else. We continued on and eventually we got to a very odd bit, where I had to watch what other people were doing to understand. There was like a sort of circular checkpoint thing that we had to go into in queues. I grabbed some big and fresh looking pears I spotted to my right, and apparently some bananas too. I knew immediately the pears would be sweet, as I prefer them, and not at all wooden. There were some fake metal barriers to enforce queues.

I got to the centre of this checkpoint thing. There was a woman on a swivel chair? She was wearing a cap but had curled hair tucked into it or something. She was in the middle of this four-section rounded island with shop scanner things on each of the four sections. I remember giving her the fruits or placing them down on the metal/glass surface.

She scanned the fruit somehow and I continued off away from the checkpoint thing.

Dream Fragment:

Some kind of mix of GTA and other games like Deus Ex. I remember being on a completely unknown city and having a map divided into levels, like there used to be in Zelda's dungeons. 1F,2F, etc.

There were some ghoul like enemies at some point and a UDamage pickup, which when I tried getting, some quick imp or rat thing got it and scurried off.

I remember being on some sort of snow bike and using a turbo mode that activated an orange energy saw and killing some of these ghouls. This was an enclosed area, with many narrow paths and with an underground feel to it. At the end of it I found a portal marked by an inverse encircled pentagram, which was a path to hell. I decided to not go through yet but would come back to it when I felt stronger.

Then I was outside and it was night time. Everything was brightly lit. I remember fighting some guys at a bridge over a wide channel of water that looked like it had very strong currents, as it was quite foamy and uneven.

Much earlier in the dream there was an area of sort of open field but I don't really remember any details. Too tired to write much more.

---

Notes:
- I'm not entirely sure what prompted the appearance of both the cross and the pentagram (both inverted) in two separate dreams, but yesterday H's dad was making about twelve of these cross-shaped grave markers. I remember asking if they were consecrated or blessed in any way once they were done. I was told that there's no point, since they are just temporary markers. This might account for the marker's appearance in my dream, as I had some interest in them since he was basically working on them all day and we were there for most of it.

- The third dream was a mix of many, many games, far too many to actually describe in reasonable detail. But the part with the UDamage and the inverted pentagram was most definitely based mostly on: DOOM, Daikatana and Unreal (Tournament). All of these have some themes in common, but the game engines are also all quite similar in some aspects. Hell and unholy motifs such as ghouls are closely related to DOOM of course and they also feature in UT. Some time ago I was working on a cathedral level for UT, but abandoned the project due to its complexity for my current skill level. The level featured an underground hellish portal that would take players to the top of the level.

- The Christian-type symbols probably also made their appearances because last night I spent a fair bit of time speaking to H about how I have often felt, and often still feel, because of my constant pain issues. There is a somewhat subconscious link between pain and some version of hell, for me.

- In the second dream, I seem to remember R was wearing his typical leather jacket. I don't remember seeing his face much in the dream.

- In that same dream, many of the dream characters seemed to be some type or another of friends or acquaintances I used to have. My mom appeared in that dream at some point, near the end, along with some dreamed up ogre-like uncle of some kind.