DarkestDarkness

3rd December 2021

Dream:

I am talking to my eldest sibling through Steam, something about a problem they're having with smells in the bathroom. Then, I'm at theirs. It's a house they bought recently and I'm helping by saying what to watch out for and trying to help plan the bathroom's extraction route. There's a big 35 PSI orange turbine blower, it looks too big for the job, but I figure it doesn't really matter.

Outside the house there's a weird roof and I spot some problems with pointed brickwork that will need sorting out. I tell them and explain a bit. The house seems to be in the middle of some woods; it's Autumn and there are fallen leaves everywhere. I think it might be a bit damp. I don't get to see the other sides of the house but I did mean to. The house has three floors in total and something about the shape looks... Wonky.

Then something about turn-based combat. In a cave area, a boss creature my middle sibling is fighting. I try to help by grappling onto it and being dragged around a bit, until I'm on its rear end/back. I swing a sword and drink a potion of ultra haste to swing faster, but even at this distance all my attacks seem to "miss" and do nothing. Some bit which has an energy barrier, opening up to a pit or cave tunnel going down. I get the impression my sibling is trying to lure the creature there but I am concerned about this place and that this might not work. I think I have some fear of thing backfiring, and it being us falling in.

Notes:

- In retrospect, the battle and our roles in it seems linked to my impressions of how I think my sibling might be coping (or not) with their own issues. The whole dream has some interesting symbolic interpretation potentials, but either way seems to relate to my views on both of my siblings.

- I think the forest was some kind of pine forest, I can't recall exactly, but the trees were certainly very tall, being taller than the house.

- The cave bit's entrance was nearby, behind the house somewhere.

11th March 2021

Content in spoilers mostly due to length.

Spoiler for Fragment::

In a town that's an altered version of where we live now, but a mix of old home too.

The street where we live joins with a wider and busier street. H has left the car on the road of this street. It's daytime, before noon or so, shadows are slightly cast but it actually feels like early afternoon perhaps.

I get concerned about the car getting hit; it looks like dad's car, but I don't realise this at all in the dream. I don't think H is actually nearby but we're talking, as if he was next to me; not by phone or anything. And I ask him if he wants me to move the car for him, but he doesn't want me to because he's afraid of me hitting something, specifically when reversing, which I think I imagine doing. Imagination blends with regular dream reality?

Nearby, there's a store. I go in it for a reason I don't recall anymore. It's a mix of several types of shop, or also a cafe? I feel awkward because I'm not really making use of the services/shop and so eventually I want to get something. I want a milkshake. I am asked what I want in it and I say I want pineapple, mango and carrot.

(tiny recall gap)

Then, I am somehow shoulder deep, sort of lying down, in some ice inside a chest freezer. But I'm relaxed and don't feel cold at all. A white woman with ginger-ish hair, looking native to where we live, comes by and politely asks me if I want the carrot peeled or not. I say, I do, and she smiles compliantly as she goes outside my field of vision.

I then turn a bit and see she's peeling it with a knife. I perceive she's doing it in a way dangerous to herself (motion away from her) and so I tell her that she doesn't have to put herself at risk like that and that it'll be fine with the peel on, actually.

But she insists in peeling this carrot. I remember the knife was like an orange-coloured one we have in our kitchen, but this blade was a different shape, a bit curved and scimitar-like?

She had to stop as there was a big change now going on, of the staff shifts at this place. Lots of people came downstairs, many went out, many came in.

(recall gap)

Later I'm at a place that is like a converted industrial building. Like many other local buildings in the dream, it's mostly sandstone on the outside, but looks more regular/contemporary inside.

(at this point I turned my recall into scraps because I became distracted as I wrote notes)

I live at this place with H and my siblings. There's also a lady, maybe in her 40s or 50s, who's here with us too. She doesn't resemble anyone I know personally but in retrospect she's a bit like a mix of Cruella and Effie Trinket. This white and skinny lady wants a bathroom put in, because apparently there isn't one. I have no problem with this and think there's a spare room at the other side of the house, but actually there isn't, when I go check.

I go back with her and inspect the hall cupboards she'd mentioned initially as a potential location. I open the door to this cupboard/pantry room and it's huge. It'll be more than fine for a bathroom, I think.

In a corner, there's a bin bag. There's a strange pile of stuff that looks like decomposing organic matter and not unlike animal detritus... There are eggs on it, they are a pale and slightly off yellow-green colour.

The lady fiddles with the bin bag. From this organic pile and under the bag, bugs start to hatch and rats appear. First a few, then many. We end up leaving the house.

Some rats have green fur. Many are the size of a large dog, or bigger. All of these creatures swarm (seemingly) randomly through the town throughout the rest of the dream, but this aspect loses focus in the dream and becomes part of the background in some sense.

I end up meeting up with L and there's some aerial scripted camera view-event. He's playing a game and I remember a screen. There's a weird filmic transition.

Rest of recall is gone.

---

Spoiler for Notes::

- I ended up feeling this dream was quite personal in some ways but I don't think I'll restrict its viewing in this case.

- Maybe the most notable thing is that later this day I had an experience that seemed to relate to something which I ended up reading up on about defecation and rats, in one of my books about symbology. Although normally I don't ascribe a lot of direct value to pre-defined symbolisms like what I read, but it does seem to relate strongly to some aspect of my life. This is something that's part of a very old set of questions for me and its processing has been very slow, to the point where it's been very rare to have threshold moments like this one.

- It's possibly one of the very few times I've dreamt about rodents, if at all. I feel there was a big symbolic implication of (assumed) filth in that pile, as denoted by the eggs too. From another point of view, from such filth there is still life that thrives and is born of itself. On a more basic level I find this relates to a more basic interest in literally dirty things that I have no eagerness to become involved in while fully conscious.

- This dream has come after a few significant things, namely, artwork I've been making for someone, which involved a rodent, as well as discussing things about dirty stuff (again, in the most basic and literal sense) with H and basically forcing myself to challenge my own conscious attitudes of avoiding mess and filth and so on.
-- More importantly, recently I have found myself re-evaluating how I'm presenting myself and my artwork. I had created a separation not unlike what I have with DV and the rest of myself and instinct and intuition are telling me, or driving me, to tear this separation down in my artwork and to stop sharding myself in that respect; to become whole in some sense, with whatever consequences that may have. Oddly, this has also come after some unexpected discussion with L.

- I haven't had any dreams featuring bugs, and pests like this in general, for quite some time and in this dream I did not feel fear or disgust at any of these situations; some mild curiosity, if anything.

23rd July 2020

Dream:

In a house like in Terraria, with a similar viewing angle/style just with more realistic detailing. But the dream itself started out more like reality and I got in this house bit. I was on a cliff ledge or something, there was a sandstone building and it was kind of dark, I believe there was a sort of cliff overhang above. It was daytime but there was no direct sunlight here, just bounced light. I was there to kick some people out?

There was a bit of bedlam inside the house when I first got in. Some of my family was there and there was a lot of old and dark stain furniture. Eventually I left the house while it was in the Terraria view mode and things became 3D again and more like BL.

Remember some bit about fighting a special UFO boss. (DFLN thread) Travelled really far at high speed while fighting it. Come to think of it, reminds me of some old Sega Megadrive games... I defeated this boss and it crashed in a body of water and the high-speed chase thing was over. Then I wanted to get inside the machine via a hatch and I remember jumping in the water or something but the hatch was like a massive AAA battery port too and I had to disconnect and remove the terminals and parts of the casing? I remember initially thinking about needing air, but then realising or thinking that it didn't matter or something.

I seem to remember there was a lot more to this dream, but the detail is all gone.

Two dreams, turned mostly into fragments after getting up from bed. I think there was a third one, but I must have forgotten it.

---

Dream Fragment 1:

I don't know where I was, it wasn't a familiar place at all, but there was some kind of square and a market. There was a town or city feel to the place and I remember it was day time, although everything looked a bit dark or murky somehow.

There was this woman with blonde-ish hair and a fit look (V) whom I know online from a game, though I've never met her in person. She was showing me around? I remember her grabbing me, by the arm or hand and for some reason in the dream this made me visibly uncomfortable. V noticed and asked me what was wrong or whatever. I explained that where I was originally from, physical interaction even with strangers was commonplace, but since I have been living elsewhere for some years now, I had sort of become estranged from the feeling and it was a confusing situation somehow.

Next thing I remember is something about a big cruise ship. I went down some steps, avoiding a queue for said ship, with no interest at all in getting on, having passing thoughts about a waste of time it looked like, due to how crowded it seemed like it was going to be.

There is then a transition of some kind.

Dream Fragment 2:

I remember being with H. We're on the road, H is driving; it looks like the type of countryside I'd expect to find here. It was day time, but the sun was close-ish to the horizon, I think more setting than rising, and it was also cloudy. Everything looked a bit desaturated.

There is a transition and now we're at some sort of lodge. My mom and my dad are there and we're having a look around. Nobody else is around, and the place is littered with what I can only describe as cultural artefacts from many different places. For some reason I take no particular interest in them however. I remember my parents talking, probably with me, but don't remember the content of the conversation.

There are stairs that go up and next thing I know, I find myself going through several upper levels of this lodge. One of my siblings (L) is here and we are both going up the stairs up to a point when we're not inside the house anymore, and it's a cliff. There are still steps, made of rough and weathered stone. As we go up the steps, the incline gets sharper, and this random girl with a massive backpack is also climbing these steps. At first I get past her but as I get nearer a flat bit at the top of these steps, she overtakes me.

Next thing I know, I expect to be at the flat bit and that there would be more to climb. I expect that the cliff on the other side would be gentle based on what I felt the formation was like, but no. This was the peak, and it was like a sharp peak.

Up here, there was a large but flat rock, on which L sat in a precarious way as always and I could see lots of things below, fields, towns, other mountains. I felt the height we were at was impossibly high for the amount of climbing we'd done, but my legs were shaking and I felt giddy from my irrational fear of heights. At first L tried to get my attention so I wouldn't look down, but that didn't last long. I remember seeing parts of this mountain we were on, looking toward the left. There were large and ancient man-shaped stones along certain parts of the ridges, almost like steps but which were really more like foundations for fortifications.

I couldn't let go of the rough stone steps. The way the flat bit of rock was connected meant that there was an extremely narrow part of dirt or rock and I just felt it was risky to try and get there. I wanted to go back down and eventually I did. I remember being at the main part of that lodge again, but the rest of the dream is missing.

---

Some notes:

• V looked exactly as I would have expected but though we had some conversation, I have no idea what her voice was like, or if it was accurate.
• H's presence in the second dream was quite short, but so was the presence of my parents and the random girl that was doing the climb too.
• When I was at the peak of that mountain, there was a cold feel to being there, although I don't remember actually feeling cold. But everything was quite bright, it was clear and sunny and I enjoyed that on some level, but the sort of physical stress I was feeling due to the fear of heights made the experience remind me of several situations in my childhood.
• During that part of the dream where I was climbing, I remember clearly thinking; "I'm sure I've dreamt of a climb like this". In actual reality, I don't think I have had a dream like that before, but again, the experience was similar to some I had in my childhood.

Non-dream stuff - woke up at about 9:00, remembering one long(ish) non-lucid dream. Some details lost.

---

Sequence:
I remember being in a variation of my current home. I was in the kitchen. I remember a big man, he was a friend of ours; I think he was of some african ethnicity but he wasn't that dark - he had short hair and brown eyes and big hands; his girlfriend, who was of similar ethnicity was there too? She had long curly hair and brown eyes also. I think the kitchen lights may have been on, but it was day outside, maybe clear but very early.

I remember they were talking and then it turned into an argument and I joined his girlfriend's side of the argument for some reason. Then I asked him to leave, and I realised I was a bit angry, so I immediately calmed myself down, touched him in the arm, as he was upset too, and I said "I'm sorry about that." - then everyone was a bit calmer and for some reason he had this bag full of chestnuts covered in sugar that had been deep-fried. They looked delicious but I commented that they looked nice, but unfortunately my mouth didn't agree because of all the sugar.

I tried to make light of the situation somehow but either way, I then went through the main hall; the front door was open and as I walked out, the scenery was different from what it should be; our side of the street was still a row of terraced houses but the opposite side was just forest/green, and the road was wider (2 lane instead of single lane) and the pavement was much wider. My partner was parked up to the right in the car. To the left was some sort of factory (maybe tire factory, there is one where I live, but not that close).

The factory was not open, as all its (visitor?) parking spaces outside were empty. I thought it had closed for the day, though the dream-time seemed like morning, my assumption was end of day time in the dream. Opposite to the factory parking spaces was a wide bit where a bus/coach could stop. Then the road did a curve as it went on.

My partner was on the phone and had sunglasses on in the car. Opposite me, the other side of the road was some Korean man, he smiled a lot I think. Some children were playing too, I remember a little girl for some reason. I remember my mood outside was a driven one, I was looking for parking for the man inside the house, and I concluded there was none apart from the factory's spaces, so I walked back in and was going to tell him, but I had some doubts it was "ok" to use those spaces, but I think I could hear my partner's voice saying it was fine, because everyone had left. (another hint that the dream time was end of day, really)

Transition of some kind or missing detail...

I remember being with a group of people, my dad was one of the people but I don't remember who else, I think just dream characters. Of note was a man older than my dad. We were in a mall (this could have been a more obvious dream-sign on its own, plus the presence of my dad) and then we went up some concrete stairs and we were in an overhang tunnel, that went over some street or something. It wasn't very long but had angular corners. I walked next to my dad and as we were crossing, he pulled some sort of lever and the tunnel bridge started to rotate its middle section; I looked behind to see if the other DCs were able to get on.

We walked to the other end and there was a stairwell down. Then I remember being outside of there and it was like some sort of campus... I looked around (I can't remember my motivations or intents) and ended up going down some more stairs into a dark place, a subway. The tracks were at the same level as the platform, i.e. there was no stone/concrete lip over the tracks. There were quite a few people at this tiny platform that was no bigger than a small room. The tunnels were equally dark, maybe brighter somehow. I think I had stepped on someone that was sitting down at some point, though I don't remember apologising, for some reason. I couldn't see them, still.

Then I went down more stairs, to a similar sort of platform, also dark and small with several people waiting. I realised I was in the wrong place "that's the yellow line... I want the blue line" I thought, after seeing a yellow line along the tracks. I went up a level again and concluded that platform wasn't right either. I had the impression that each track was for the same line but went opposite directions.

I got out to the surface again, this campus place, but everything looked... fake, almost plastic-like. I walked along the pavements between the grassy bits and there were people around. I reached a point that had one of those blocks you can hit from Super Mario. The dream started to look a bit Minecraft-y, with voids in certain spots on the ground, sky visible. I fell down by accident into a small void pit but fortunately there were some stone blocks there. I climbed up the opposite side and continued walking.

Dream details are starting to go really fuzzy now, remaining memories of particular note only being one of a sword or something and of walking into a different place.

---

Notes:

• When I was thinking why I didn't want the chestnuts the reason was a valid waking-life reason, as I currently have some mouth ulcers that I really shouldn't "feed".
• It is peculiar that chestnuts appeared, especially prepared in such an unusual way. I haven't had chestnuts in quite a while, but I haven't been thinking about them. It may be an automatic craving, as this is about the right time of the year, when we used to have chestnuts at my childhood home.
• The Korean man was a waking-life remnant because a friend of ours was discussing the North Korean leader in passing conversation last night.
• The subway, tracks, etc all were very obvious dream-signs that I missed as always. As I was thinking about that part when I was writing it, I was realising that when I've seen trains recently (mostly in games) I've never remembered to do a RC.