DarkestDarkness

11th June 2021

Some in-line notes, in brackets.

Fragment:

I'm in the bathroom at the old home. I'm having a wee or something, I think I'm fully naked (probably since I sleep that way and if I got up for the bathroom, it would be the case anyway). I notably recall that the light is on (but there is no reason for it not to be and the situation seems normal enough).

I hear the front door opening and notably I hear T's voice and a male stranger. I deduce they are friends and hear them come into the house. I'm aware of it being quite late and so I find it a bit odd. I can sort of see through the wall, mentally, getting an idea of where they are. T either comes up to the bathroom door to talk to me or I called. We talk about something but I cannot remember what and I feel pressed to put some clothes on to get out of the bathroom, maybe to find out more?

The feeling I have around the stranger is mostly that of suspicion, I think because of the late time. I think about going back to my bedroom and possibly imagine it visually.

4th August 2020 8:30

Dream (Fragmented):

Fairly long and vivid, completely continuous all the way through, though I remember the last parts better, mostly.

+ The very first bit I recall, was in a maintenance tunnel of sorts. It was a typical grey-white looking tunnel, painted brickwork, artificial and cold lights, but quite bright. There was piping painted the same way. I was configuring a gun that fired four shots simultaneously and each barrel could be re-rolled to have a random element. I remember testing the gun each time I re-rolled the stats.

+ In one earlier bit I was around my old home area and was going to play basketball with some black friends, after I'd asked what they were up to or something. We got to a basketball arena of some kind, it looked odd, it was indoors now and was all rusty and/or fleshy. I didn't care much. In the end the game was more like half basketball, half rugby and somehow I needed my sibling T's help to finish the game so I had to go find him or something.

Then, the last part;

I was at some sort of religious gathering, there were pews and there was a seat reserved for a representative of each major religion and some seats reserved for representatives of other smaller religions, but the representatives themselves were absent. A woman appeared, she was dressed in what I can only remember as a "revealing" dress; she was a seductress of some sort and teased these religious representatives. But they knew her as is if she did this regularly and they let themselves be entertained by her presence.

I was stuck behind a screen of some sort, like an acrylic screen. Then I got out of that place somehow. My old school friend, JC, appeared at some point when I was outside. Dark and moody streets, maybe a bit wet even. Night time but lit by neon signs and other such things. Me and JC knocked someone out and I remember shooting a group of patrolling guards in a line, taking each one out. Then JC took a hazmat from one of these guys.

(Cut some of this bit short because of my pain)

We walked at brisk pace, for quite a long way; through a city, then a mall, a toilet roll store (with vividly coloured packaging), then a baby store, inside an ASDA/Walmart place and then we get held up in some queue for the supermarket. So we started running and jumped over a balcony or stair bit onto an outdoor area, and the crowd stuck in the queue got angered by this for some reason and many of them followed suit. It was day time, I remember around noon or afternoon. Sunny and I recall the grass by the side of the pavement and general greenery.

I tried to sprint. Running felt slow, but not as bad as in nightmares from my childhood. It mostly just felt annoying, but someone nearly tripped me up from behind (stepping on my heel). I didn't look back but sort of had a rear vision? JC caught up to me and took off the hazmat mask. We approached a gas station next to where his home supposedly was in the dream. JC shot a guard that he'd initially forgotten was there. I told him he was an idiot, because they had cameras at the gas station, and what had he just done? Taken his mask off.

But we were on the final stretch to getting to his home and I woke up, sweating, as seems to be normal when I have these vivid and intense dreams.

---

Notes:
- I haven't seen JC in a dream in a while but oddly enough his likeness was very much as I remember it from my teens, when I was at school with him. He was slightly shorter than me too.
- The basketball arena was odd but I think it probably came from recently playing certain games; for some reason the concept of arena was enough to cause the two things to associate this way.
- T's appearance matched the dirty and partly grotesque appearance of the arena.

- This DJ entry is called pre-cursor because of the next entry, which took place today too.

7th May

Dream:

Don't remember the start but was in a game doing some crop-related things while I was appearing offline or something. All of a sudden, a female character shows up and starts punching me up with some flying fists. At first I assumed it was A but then I die and respawn and notice it's someone else that I don't know.

It's a Spanish player and we mostly speak in Spanish. I realise my accent is a bit broken but that doesn't stop me so much. I tell her I don't remember knowing her, I assume it's possible I've just forgotten who she is but she doesn't really answer the question or seem bothered by this, anyway. Then she starts telling me how she used to live on some place called something "Peak". In the dream I had some vague memory of it. I ask her if she had a place nearby on K and she insists not, but my dream memory tells me she did.

In any case, she then tells me how she'd lost everything. I realise I don't care about my place so much anymore and offer to give her some stuff and tell her we need to go to my place in the game. Most of this seems to take place on K. We then start going through some portals or something, and I start carrying her on my back for some reason. I remember some other players spotting us and staring for a minute.

Then eventually we're at my old (actual) home, it's night time and dark. I walk into the room that used to be L's and there's an extra bed like a sofa bed. There's a computer with an old CRT screen on the desk and I think about using it to give her some stuff? She asks me some questions and I answer, I think mostly about the room? I think she just looks like a person now and not a game character.

Then all of a sudden while we talk, my sibling T sits up. T had been sleeping on the extra bed all along and we somehow hadn't realised. Looked younger and not so scruffy? I apologise and say I didn't realise. I look at the screen for a moment and it has something like Diablo on it. We leave the room and go to my old room instead. But essentially, the exact same thing happens again there. I don't remember to question the dream-like nature of what just happened. Rest of dream recall is mostly gone. Scraps of being in the street and talking to this Spanish girl.

---

Notes:
- The initial context within the dream of giving my stuff away is a common occurrence anyway when I'm playing games in which you are able to hoard or accumulate stuff. I often end up giving stuff away because I have not created any particular attachment to it or feel like I might not be putting it to good use any time soon. One further note on this regard is that sometimes I feel that my kindness is taken but not appreciated, it becomes "old history" so to speak of rather quickly, with some people, while others do remember it for a long time.
- Although I wrote this dream months ago, I have the feeling that the computer screen in L's room was a CRT, but this may be a false memory now. When I wrote that it has something like Diablo on it, I think I meant that it had Diablo II just running but with nothing happening.

Yesterday was quite a busy day so even though I'd made notes on waking, didn't get a chance to write the dreams on the DJ here. There's a fragment from today too.

Last night I tried to incubate a dream about a painting I have on my easel at the moment. I want to figure out how to do these clouds like another painting I've seen very recently.

Unfortunately every time I was in the process of visualising the dream and setting intentions to become lucid etc., my thoughts would start drifting away in a random direction and it would take me a little while before I realised this was happening each time. In the end I guess I just fell asleep, but had no dream that I can recall relating to this incubation.

Either way, may continue to try and incubate this specific dream over the next few nights. If nothing else, it'll get me thinking about the painting.

---

Dream Fragment, one day ago:

My sibling T, driving. I'm in the car too, but on the back seat? It's dad's car I think, or something like it. Countryside roads and hilly landscape. The sky is a bit grey, but it's daytime. Looked more like here than there (old home).

Someone else is in the car with us, not sure who, but they're of small stature. Female? Makes a comment on how good T's hair is looking. I think to myself, or perhaps even comment out loud about how much better the hair does seem versus the last few years.

Scrap, one day ago:

Fighting/shooting in a game. A mix of Unreal Tournament and a tank game I've played more recently.

Dream Fragment, today:

I was playing or in World of Warcraft. I was playing a female gnome rogue and was in the Wetlands, I remember the grungy and practically wet atmosphere quite well. I saw another gnome player, but they were a Horde character somehow. I noticed they'd spotted me so I used stealth and waited for them to come past.

I opened with a stun from stealth and then after the stun I tried to manage my energy so that I'd be able to interrupt any spells as they'd start casting. The enemy gnome was a mix of a warlock and a mage? I seem to remember winning the fight but it felt like it took a very long time.

---

No notes.

Not been able to keep recall very well or make notes in the morning for the last few days because of pain issues.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was at some sort of zen gathering, for a dream-imagined relative. She was going to have this ceremony that was supposed to strengthen the bond between her and this baby brother of hers or something.

I remember the area was on a green and grassy rolling hill. It had a fair bit of an angle on it. There were some small trees, not much bigger than a person and there were some sort of carpets or rugs laid out in a few places.

It was night time? But it was bright, I think from a full moon. I remember looking at the sky and seeing it in the night and then lower to the right I saw a tower. It looked like a Japanese hill castle tower.

There were some people up there on its walls, some kind of avians, like from Starbound.

Next thing I remember, I’m up there and planning a sneak attack with some other people against the avians to take some treasure they had up there.

Transition? Maybe a different dream but it felt to be in sequence and similar context.

I remember L and his childhood friend J. We were walking around a lower area, possibly next to that hill from before. It was night. We came up to some metal grated stone structure. Beyond the metal bars I could see a wooden treasure chest and a tunnel that led into that area.

I looked to the left and saw another similar stone structure, also with metal bars but not all along it’s opening. There were two minotaurs in there and I attacked them but I don’t remember how I dealt with them exactly.

The rest of the details are missing but I vaguely remember being in a 3 seat van with J and L at some point.

Dream Fragment:

I was using my tablet. I was painting, trying to replicate an effect I saw in waking life of a painting that was just in the background of a tv show.

I was trying to paint waves in the water in the same detailed way as that painting. It wasn’t going very well though and even in the dream I realised I was going about it the wrong way.

---

No notes for now, might edit later.

Just some short dream fragments. Woke up but didn't get out of bed for a while and got distracted so didn't retain many thoughts.

---

Dream Fragment:

Something in space. Felt a bit like Freelancer but I think I could command ships that weren't my own? I remember an asteroid field and an asteroid space station. The system looked like it had a light source coming from underneath but was mostly black space with stars with some blue-ish nebulas on the lower hemisphere. The system felt "sunny". Omega/Sigma/Tau type system. Earlier I had a clearer idea of which it reminded me most of.

Dream Fragment:

There's a bridge that I'm trying to place somewhere. I sort of have some kind of visual interface to move it around and rotate it but I struggle for a while to get it to a position I'm satisfied with. One of my siblings (T) is in the dream somehow but I think only in some form of chat. I remember having a conversation about the bridge and how it wasn't quite working out. I remember I then had to add some extra support pillars.

The bridge location was some kind of crude game-like valley. It looked like the type of terrain/landscape I might roughly make before having worked on any detail for it. The area seemed to be covered in shadow, like there were other objects above.

---

No notes.

Two dreams, turned mostly into fragments after getting up from bed. I think there was a third one, but I must have forgotten it.

---

Dream Fragment 1:

I don't know where I was, it wasn't a familiar place at all, but there was some kind of square and a market. There was a town or city feel to the place and I remember it was day time, although everything looked a bit dark or murky somehow.

There was this woman with blonde-ish hair and a fit look (V) whom I know online from a game, though I've never met her in person. She was showing me around? I remember her grabbing me, by the arm or hand and for some reason in the dream this made me visibly uncomfortable. V noticed and asked me what was wrong or whatever. I explained that where I was originally from, physical interaction even with strangers was commonplace, but since I have been living elsewhere for some years now, I had sort of become estranged from the feeling and it was a confusing situation somehow.

Next thing I remember is something about a big cruise ship. I went down some steps, avoiding a queue for said ship, with no interest at all in getting on, having passing thoughts about a waste of time it looked like, due to how crowded it seemed like it was going to be.

There is then a transition of some kind.

Dream Fragment 2:

I remember being with H. We're on the road, H is driving; it looks like the type of countryside I'd expect to find here. It was day time, but the sun was close-ish to the horizon, I think more setting than rising, and it was also cloudy. Everything looked a bit desaturated.

There is a transition and now we're at some sort of lodge. My mom and my dad are there and we're having a look around. Nobody else is around, and the place is littered with what I can only describe as cultural artefacts from many different places. For some reason I take no particular interest in them however. I remember my parents talking, probably with me, but don't remember the content of the conversation.

There are stairs that go up and next thing I know, I find myself going through several upper levels of this lodge. One of my siblings (L) is here and we are both going up the stairs up to a point when we're not inside the house anymore, and it's a cliff. There are still steps, made of rough and weathered stone. As we go up the steps, the incline gets sharper, and this random girl with a massive backpack is also climbing these steps. At first I get past her but as I get nearer a flat bit at the top of these steps, she overtakes me.

Next thing I know, I expect to be at the flat bit and that there would be more to climb. I expect that the cliff on the other side would be gentle based on what I felt the formation was like, but no. This was the peak, and it was like a sharp peak.

Up here, there was a large but flat rock, on which L sat in a precarious way as always and I could see lots of things below, fields, towns, other mountains. I felt the height we were at was impossibly high for the amount of climbing we'd done, but my legs were shaking and I felt giddy from my irrational fear of heights. At first L tried to get my attention so I wouldn't look down, but that didn't last long. I remember seeing parts of this mountain we were on, looking toward the left. There were large and ancient man-shaped stones along certain parts of the ridges, almost like steps but which were really more like foundations for fortifications.

I couldn't let go of the rough stone steps. The way the flat bit of rock was connected meant that there was an extremely narrow part of dirt or rock and I just felt it was risky to try and get there. I wanted to go back down and eventually I did. I remember being at the main part of that lodge again, but the rest of the dream is missing.

---

Some notes:

• V looked exactly as I would have expected but though we had some conversation, I have no idea what her voice was like, or if it was accurate.
• H's presence in the second dream was quite short, but so was the presence of my parents and the random girl that was doing the climb too.
• When I was at the peak of that mountain, there was a cold feel to being there, although I don't remember actually feeling cold. But everything was quite bright, it was clear and sunny and I enjoyed that on some level, but the sort of physical stress I was feeling due to the fear of heights made the experience remind me of several situations in my childhood.
• During that part of the dream where I was climbing, I remember clearly thinking; "I'm sure I've dreamt of a climb like this". In actual reality, I don't think I have had a dream like that before, but again, the experience was similar to some I had in my childhood.

Non-dream stuff. Woke up at about 9, only vaguely recalling a non-lucid dream fragment and a nl short dream.

---

Fragment:
I was playing some sort of strategy game, possibly a space strategy game, and I was in a lobby menu and my partner was going to play with me; then one of my siblings (T) joined the game lobby too. I remember discussing the game with T too.

Dream Sequence:
It was night time, I was in some sort of rural backroad and there was a little girl, blonde I think. Some snakes started coming out of the hedges and going toward the girl, but very very slowly. There was a car some 100/150ft away with headlights on; the dream implied it was mine, and I went to get inside the car to drive over to the little girl and grab her to take her in the car (why didn't I just do it in the reverse order?). The whole scene happened in third person view. I entered the car and drove up to the girl and got out again; the girl got confused because of the strong headlights on the car and squinted and covered her face and was confused; and I was about to grab her to get her into the car but dream ended.

---

Some notes:

• The game in the first dream fragment will again be a waking life echo of playing something like Homeworld again.
• In the dream, I don't remember feeling threatened by the snakes, nor do I remember thinking they were a threat to myself; but they were clearly distressing for the girl.
• Only when writing the journal entry now did I realise it was an odd order to go about things, when I could have just grabbed her before getting to the car, especially given how slow the snakes were.
• For some reason, as I recalling the short dream, the snakes made me think of hares, and then the October competition. (Do snakes hunt hares/rabbits?)

---

Scoring thus far:
+ Previous score: 10.0

+ This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 2.5
++ Recall a non-lucid fragment: 0.5
++ Recall a non-lucid dream: 1.0
++ Help someone in need: 1.0

= Total score thus far: 12.5