• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccxcviii. Breaking into a shop, Helping Trump, Police central AI computer

      by , 08-22-2022 at 02:16 AM
      2022 July 2nd

      Left recall until late in the day. This one might be in DFLN but I'd have to go find it for linking.

      Fragment:

      I'm outside, night time. I'm with H and we're by some shop or similar place? H works here apparently and he wants to get inside for some reason but it's all closed, so he smashes a window and we get inside. I forget what we do or look for, but I worry about him losing his job for it. (not actually his job)

      (recall gap)

      At some kind of hotel/casino place. I'm at a sub-level lobby, there are some sofas and other comfort things. There's also a slot machine in a corner by a sofa. I'm sitting on the sofa and try out the slot machine one time. It spins and I win, not the best amount it could pay out, but something like 1837? Then I get distracted by someone like Donald Trump who's in the room with me now, I just know that he apparently owns the casino place. He's not feeling too well and we talk about it, possibly something he's eaten. I either tell him I'll get him some help or get him to come to the nearby lift with me.

      (recall gap)

      Something in a similar area, likely still part of the same segment. Elizabeth II is here and is taking part in some kind of tour? There's also some sort of activism going on.



      2022 July 3rd

      Fragment:

      I'm at a dream version of a mix of my old home and the house we live in now. It's early morning, something like 4AM. I am down in the kitchen area which has large sliding pane windows that are also doors, rather than latching windows. Outside, I see police officers in the backyard patio area. The patio has stone flags and a garden table and chairs, as well as some planters. At first I dismiss this and presume they are just being thorough and that they are here because of a neighbour.

      Then a bit later I'm somewhere else in the house, possibly upstairs, and a police officer lady talks to me and tells me that they have to search our house. I don't understand why and feel a bit reluctant and emotional, possibly getting in their way a bit. She tells me that they didn't want to but that it's procedure as set out by the "central AI computer" which tells them what to investigate or something. I still feel distressed by their searching but feel more accepting of it now that they've told me that's it's just something they have to do because the AI told them to.

      Later they're gone and I'm in a version of our bedroom with H; he was asleep through all of this and I'm still a bit distressed as I tell him all about everything that happened.

      (recall gap)

      At one point I'm somewhere in the USA and I get away from California just in time to miss some massive quakes there. I'm in Arizona now maybe? Here there are very large fires or something but I feel safer. Something about a transit hub and talking to people.
    2. cccxci. The twin fruit garden, Sapphire ore fortress

      by , 06-24-2022 at 04:04 PM
      2022 June 2nd

      Dream:

      I'm at some kind of garden/arena place. A quite big round building, at any rate. There's a feel of old home to it. Some walls are white?, with I think a blue trim running along some of the edges. The exterior perimeter is decorated with aquatic and palm motifs in small tile mosaics. Vivid colours. It's sunny.

      I walk around until I get to an entrance to the central area that goes up and in. As I walk around, there are grape-like husks that I'm stepping on, they're a dead blue, but nice somehow. It took me a while to realise they're the fruits of some of these plants. Some kind of leafy canes, which arc with the weight of their fruits. The other side has small banana things instead, but both plants are the same with different fruits. On the upper area inside, I remark to H who's nearby, that it looks like one half of the garden is one fruit and the other half is the other fruit, and there seems to be a clear divide.

      I feel that this could be related to sunlight and shade. The grapes on the plant are actually white grapes (green), unlike the blue-ish husks on the floor. I remember picking and holding one. I think I ask H if he's tried one of the banana fruits. I'm not sure if he should eat it.


      2022 June 6th

      Fragment:

      (Last bit at the end of a longer dream. Didn't write recall early enough.)

      I'm with H and he's kind of doing his own thing, and I'm descending a vertical mineshaft he's made, digging my way downward through its sides. It's a mix of Minecraft and BL. At the bottom I find myself in a dark but vast cavern. I can still see fine. I see sapphires close to me and I tell H to look at how many there are, an almost 5x5 area on a wall. Then, I find a waypoint like those from Diablo II. I think to myself about how rare this area is to find naturally generated.

      The cavern has a mostly flat ceiling and I can't quite see the bottom, but pillars at irregular intervals make a kind of vaulted cavern ceiling. (Similar to some BL cave generation)

      In the distance, I see more sapphires around and eventually after walking along a sort of suspended highway, avoiding some annoying mobs along the way, I find an underground stone fortress which is mstly made of stone brick and which has patterned features with encrusted sapphire ores.


      2022 June 8th

      Scraps:

      I'm in a village or town. Like rural areas around old home. I'm passing in front of a building where lots of people gathered. They're all queueing or waiting.

      Some other bit, with mom and H. Something about driving. A crossing? A woman in a dress?



      Notes:

      - There was something yin/yang about the first dream's location but it also reminds me of places and experiences from my childhood.

      - At the time of the second dream, me and H had been playing Minecraft again a fair bit. I'm not entirely sure why there was a D2 waypoint in there but it may have been because of the dream that Hilary shared on DFLN just a week earlier or so, as Diablo hadn't really been much on my mind otherwise.

      - Inside the cavern areas, there were openings above that let some natural light in. There were interesting light effects, though even so I couldn't really see a bottom to the pillared cave areas at any point.
    3. ccclxxvi. Alter ego, Space empires, Undeground world, The strange monument

      by , 04-08-2022 at 01:54 AM
      28th of March 2022

      (I may add some notes at one point, especially if I draw the monument)

      6:00 or 7:00
      Fragment:

      I am my alter ego but my dorsal scales are pointier, like my character N. I'm at some kind of fair or public event. Eventually after a bit of walking around, I come to a wooden bench, where mom and dad are sitting. They each move over to a side and as they sort of part, this dwarf man is revealed to be sitting there too. He has a miserable look. My parents don't even acknowledge that he's there at all. I do at first and try to sit next to him and between my parents. There's some dialogue, but recall was lost.

      Unknown Time
      Fragment:

      In space, sort of game-ish and like Sins of a Solar Empire and Stellaris, in that you have starlanes for travel between stars (haven't played either in a while but think about it on and off when I see them on the library). I'm travelling with someone else, we're each on our own ships. As we travel and spend a bit of time wandering in a star system, the star suddenly starts to go nova. So I tell the other person we need to warp out of here now, and we head to the edge of the system, getting out just in time and travelling across nearby stars and seeing the explosion from this point. (Scale is similar to Sins)

      Some other bit where I'm planning a star fortress load-out, Stellaris UI. And some other bit about managing something in a star system, possibly in sequence with the planning.

      8:00 and onwards (order jumbled)
      Fragment:

      Climbing some eroded stone stairs. Some kind of natural or carved out limestone rock. Feels underground. As I go up the stairs, I leave behind random things, like statuettes of animals. There's also some animal following me? I don't feel attached to it however; it may be a bird. I remember an opening through which I can see a vast darkness but also underground "cliffs" and ravines. Maybe streaming water. The limestone has a beautiful creamy colour.

      Fragment:

      (Generally darker dream, both in lighting and mood) Dream streets, lots of people. Parts of the dream repeat themselves or I return to certain areas. The streets have shops, and there's a Japanese/neon-heavy feel. Something has a feel to it like Cybermancy.

      Some plot line about a group of people who are uploading themselves into a thing or collective. I am not especially interested or anything but I help them in some way and when they start getting persecuted by some assassins or something, I use a rifle, struggling on with it for a bit, until I realise I'm "missing a skill point" for it, which I then quickly put a point it. I aim at one of the assassin at point blank, as he aims at someone else with a firearm of his own. I shoot him in the head and he dies instantly. Then, twin female assassins (though not human) standing a few feet away and moving; I spot them and aim for the head, but miss my shot, hitting her in the back or chest, but she's not really harmed by the shot.

      She comes after me now and I apologise for not killing her with a single shot. I kneel, and expectantly wait for her to kill me. Something very Japanese in feel about this last bit.

      After I die, I think I return to a previous point in the dream and do other things, or differently.

      (recall gap?)

      Then, some place like L. I'm near a monument of some sort, in a large square, which in the dream I "know" about; there's a road around the monument? It's sort of rounded itself, but not at the front where the road is. It's clear and sunny and I think I'm with someone else at first, maybe family.

      The monument itself is a dream generated thing and the square reminds me more of France in some respects, although it definitely has the feel of L. I think there's an obelisk further away in the middle of the square. (I should draw this before I completely lose what little recall is left)

      Near the front of the monument and at head level, there's a wide gap that's not got much height to it, maybe two feet high in opening. Through it, I see some sunlight but mostly darkness, and this underplace seems to be full of dark earthy dirt and corpses, mostly skeletal I think, though I can't recall their state exactly.

      Then, as I circle around to the next corner, I climb some stairs. Up here, it's a relatively flat area which is a narrow-ish U shape. There are many stone benches, which are just part of the overall structure. Lavish and floral motifs, general renaissance or art nouveau aesthetics. The stone benches have fairly fancy cushions on them, of different and saturated-ish colours. People are touring and lazing about as in mostly any capitol-city style of a place. I head for a free seat at the bend/corner. The dream ends here, I feel just as something was about to happen.

      Edit: Somehow I had recorded the wrong date for this dream, corrected this now.

      Updated 04-30-2022 at 01:45 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment
    4. cclxxx. Playful disagreement, Not myself

      by , 06-05-2021 at 03:17 PM
      5th June 2021

      Fragment:

      Here at home, with H. We're going downstairs and we get ready to go out. We have some kind of playful tussle or disagreement.

      (recall was too weak despite having felt very present in the dream, mind wandered after waking)

      Fragment:

      Middle or end bit of a dream, first part involved one of my aunts and was in a building. Later, in a town like my old town, sort of sunny but cloudy? I'm walking along the edge of town, slightly higher up than the rest of it which is in a sort of dip.

      There's a Covid context but nobody is wearing masks or distancing properly. I'm not myself anymore, now I'm a male character and I'm walking outside with this young woman. We're about the same age and we are a couple. We're in the middle of town at one point and it's busy. Someone mentions something about white gypsies and I wonder to myself if this isn't offensive in some way. I'm following the woman, she has a slim build but I can't remember what she's wearing.

      She bumps into an old lady a bit carelessly as we walk into a sort of square area, the old lady says to her "you'll have to self-isolate now!", in a somewhat vindictive way that implied she'd just passed on infection. As we walk through town we eventually become lost and we ask a middle-aged lady for directions. She shows us the town on a paper map. I try to figure out and understand where our house is.

      Vague recall but later, after several very deliberately "dream-like" encounters, with recurring characters that appear and disappear at different points and with changing physical features such as a lift that shifts it's entrance, we walk through a dark tunnel. Sort of subway/transit hub-like in style, just an access corridor, but there is no light, I don't recall how I am able to see.

      We then enter a different room, slightly brighter and kind of large, but still dark and underground. There are four characters here who block us, or have our full attention. They appear like teenagers or something at first and then morph into large and sort of fat orange worm-like creatures, their long bodies are sort of ribbed; they retain some human aspect, a face perhaps. They gloat, as if they'd won or something. One says "the human body is 0.91 grams of sodium. 68% sodium" and the illogical part of the math just passes me by but in the dream I'm so fully in the role of this young man that I don't really think like myself anyway. The creatures imply that we are be feed for something, either them or their master, but this something is small, I feel.

      Everything actually feels dreamlike for most of this bit, I think about how we (me and my female partner) must be having a joint dream and these creatures had invaded our dream to bring us their gloating message.

      Eventually they let us go and this idea and feeling passes, especially because I expect some dream-like transition but there isn't one. We go back to our place though I don't recall how we get there. It's also dark and dingy, most of the second half of the dream is. We have to get some things to eat, which we pick out of this small polygonal box. She picks something, not sure what now and it was apparently the right thing to pick, as a character appears and groans complaining about how she made the right choice. She had apparently sussed out that there were certain script-like sigils that had to do with the bad characters. I struggle to pick something myself, eventually picking this odd and partly rusty metal object with a somewhat industrial look to it. It has a bit of that rust converter's purple tinge too. The object has a hex key end on one side and the other end of it widens out a bit; the object is very sharply faceted.

      I openly ask and wonder if this is the right thing. Seems that it is though and then we are somewhere else. Still dark, there's a table. My female partner is engaged in some activity with her object, maybe firing arrows made of light? She seems obsessed, almost drunk with power or something. I try to figure out what my object does. There's a man here with us, too, he had appeared before in the dream and is some kind of guide, in his fifties or so.

      I use my object like a pen over the table and it seems to write in ink made of light. I effortlessly make script-like sigils like those from before except made of light. The drawn sigils over the table flash and quickly fade away once they are complete.



      Notes:

      - I went to bed somewhat late and I had looked at a few things in the shed beforehand that may have just fed into some of the shapes in the dream, such as the polygonal box and the faceted metal "pen".

      - I don't recall hearing or thinking about names at any point, even the woman I was with. She mirrored me in several physical aspects but I remember nothing about the character I was, I never saw myself, I simply "felt" like someone else, including physically to a point.

      - Many of the environmental elements were familiar to the area around my old home, except geological features, which were more like lowlands or short rolling hills.

      - The worm creatures' physical appearance seemed to be based off flexible ducting type of tubes and their orange was a sort of bright workplace orange kind of colour.

      - Odd that I felt I'd title the second fragment as "not myself", since that is effectively the (actual) problem mom had just last night.

      - After waking, most of this second dream did immediately feel very symbolic and story-like. My female partner felt like an anima archetype (especially as she later became apparently domineering), and the character I was in the role of felt like a hero archetype.
    5. cclxx. A red land and a dark underground place

      by , 05-18-2021 at 10:39 AM
      18th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Contextually I'm in some kind of alternate reality. In a basement or garage of some kind? But there's a feeling it's older. The ceiling is concrete and orderly and only slightly taller than I am. The ground is uneven and natural in some sense. It's dark. My dog is here with me at some point, but I'm distracted by something else?

      I was previously outside. A red-ish place, sandstone like. Reminds me now of stereotypical Mars depictions. It's sandy and the sky is a desaturated colour. I remember several interactions with dream characters, but only so vaguely. A man? Something about not belonging here perhaps.

      Notes:


      - I remember that last night I tried to think about several things relating to dreaming. I tried thinking about the lucid dreaming party that I never managed to successfully incubate, I thought about Occipitalred's thoughts on dream awareness in a traditional "non-lucid" state. I remember thinking about lucidity in general but I eventually became mentally distracted, lost focus, falling asleep at some point.

      - Something about the outdoors place reminds me of Tomb Raider III level design, but only in very vague semblance.
    6. cclxiii. Lodged bullet, Upheaval

      by , 05-05-2021 at 08:53 PM
      2nd May 2021

      Fragment:

      Initially something about Terraria. I'm on some kind of mini MMO server. It's 2D at first as it should be, but then starts to become 2.5D and eventually blends into normal reality as I exit some caves I'd been mining in. There was a lot of ore in the caves, but mostly copper and iron.

      I exit the cave to an exterior location. It's sunny but I'm under the shade of a metal canopy of some kind. I have guns like in UT or something. There are some flying enemies nearby, to my right, and I think about shooting them with a beam weapon but I don't for some reason. They have wings? Are they eyes, maybe? Some kind of stereotype fantasy creature, at any rate.

      Then I climb or jump down further ahead, where there's a lower roof, using it as a midway point to the ground. There's a human but he's some kind of boss? I'm talking with H at the same time, discussing what's happening I think. Some recall is missing but I eventually change to a traditional sniper rifle and fire at point blank range against the man's neck. I can imagine the bullet and it goes through the front of the neck but leaves no visible wound or blood and it gets lodged under the cranium at the back, on the right side.

      But then the person becomes H and I turn the head to inspect and there's the lump of the bullet about where I thought it would be. I tell H it's fine, we'll get someone to remove it.



      4th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about schools part of a network/group called "plus (something)"? I'm in a town but unsure where. Reminds me of my native country and there's these small and perfectly laid out buildings, which are taking over everywhere as if they are invading and replacing other things. The buildings are alien in origin or something, the dream implies, but they look like regular buildings in a modern style, though having something to do with this group of schools or something.

      There's some kind of instancing effect going on and things phase in and out of reality depending on where I stand exactly; in the phase space there are only two specific things to eat for some reason and this becomes a way for me to identify that I'm in this phased space. I think something about the colour of the atmosphere changes too but recall is somewhat muddled and partly gone and some bits of this feel as if they were from an earlier awakening.

      Some recall is missing but later on, there's some bit in a kitchen underground in a bunker of some kind and this is like the headquarters of whatever is going on. In this kitchen, there are two women, they are busy cooking and concocting things? I think they have aprons on but I don't recall any other details other than that maybe one had her hair tied up. They are the masterminds, it's implied somehow. They don't seem to care about my presence. The door to the kitchen is locked with some type of electronically controlled lock and some people want to get in here because a meteor is crashing soon and this is the safest place, even within the entirety of this bunker. There's a large window into the next room and there are random groupings of people through there. I remember interacting and talking with the two women but I'm not sure what any of us said.

      Then the meteor hits and some people outside the room get scared but nothing much happens other than some prolonged shaking.

      (recall gap)

      Outside with someone, implied to be after the meteor hit on the surface. I was here before at some point in the dream but it wasn't like this, everything looks kind of orange and wrecked now, debris and general mess everywhere. There are dead headcrabs? The person I'm with is cooking and eating them.

      (gap)

      Some other bit where I see a city like London (which layout I know vaguely) in some kind of overview and it's broken up by ravines and mountains. Someone wants a new map made to reflect all this or something and I or another dream character draw it on some kind of black sandy stuff with a stick or rod? The lines are a dark blood red.
    7. ccxlv. Dark subterranean place, Deceptive Enterprise

      by , 03-31-2021 at 09:55 AM
      31st March 2021

      Fragment:

      I am somewhere underground, dark. It's like BL but not quite. Someone has discovered a hack or made a mod that lets you directly access certain game stats. I become a lycan creature and find that I can easily mine through the rock in one hit with my claws.

      I look for and find gold ore which is also mined easily. I sometimes stumble into large and more open cavern systems. There seem to be bottomless pits in places and in the distance there is light sometimes, lava or something I think I assume.

      There's some recall of interacting with other people or characters and a big sequence about conversion (into an energy form) in some cathedral-like place that reminds me of a map I made a couple of years ago, but recall is mostly gone.

      (recall gap)

      Something about Picard getting into a confrontation with some aliens where the Enterprise is disguised as a vessel like what these aliens have. They don't trust him and they realise the deception. The captain makes some kind of plea in order to try and avoid them from going further towards human space but the aliens seem unwilling to compromise.

      Then something about the Enterprise and its crew needing to be offloaded somewhere while the ship is repaired. The captain is on Earth trying to find a suitable temporary location for a camp?

      Notes:
      - This fragment was from waking up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep very easily, I think I was too hot. I did not recall any morning dreams.
      - When I woke up, I remember I was thinking about M/M stuff and a server I joined recently, but I'm not sure why. There was no link with the dreaming, that I can tell.
    8. ccxliv. Searching for T

      by , 03-31-2021 at 09:43 AM
      29th March 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm at my old home. Me, mom and L are home. I can't remember why or how we notice, but we realise that T should be here too but is actually missing. I ask mom if he isn't just downstairs or something. She says they've checked.

      The next thing I recall I'm outside, with mom. We're in some streets which don't seem familiar, but I don't have that notion in the dream. Diffused shadows, desaturated light. We look around for T outside the building, which isn't really like ours. I think I notice a bus stop and wonder if he'd used that but become dismissive of the idea.

      Later, we are at a square junction. Past a crossing, I spot him and tell mom, I think. We can't cross yet, but he sees us and starts walking away. I notice he's wearing a skullcap hat thing and generally warm clothing. For a moment I mistake another man near him to be him but I realise it's not his face and wonder how I could let myself make that mistake. We eventually cross but we've lost track of him again as he moved away.

      Then there's some stairs or something in front of a cafe, going down into the ground. Worn stone steps. I am on my own now, it's darker here? Something about vampires and a dungeon, I recall some kind of yellow sandstone or limestone.
    9. cxcvii. A painting I protect, a walk through town and a dark gothic place.

      by , 12-12-2020 at 02:46 PM
      7th December 2020

      Very fragmented:

      Me and H were getting some pipes out of an organ. It was a rank supposedly, but actually it can't have been more than an octave.

      Pipes were semi-stopped? With some blue felt inside the top to achieve this.

      Some other bit, something about water in a container; it looks odd inside. I drink some (why?) but it has weird fibres floating in it. I try to search online about it.

      But then we pour the water out on the floor and it's revealed that the fibres were half parasite things; they moved but incredibly slowly. Later I sweat them out through my thighs and I decide to use a H2O2 spray to kill them all and almost bathe myself in it too so it soaks into me and kills any remaining inside my body. I have doubts about what I'm doing and what is going on.

      At a mansion place, I'm with my family here. We're guests to some friend of dad. I remember paintings hanging on the walls. There are stone or white wood ballustrades and there's no ceiling or it's made of glass. The host eventually becomes very surprised when he learns (from a servant?) how much it had cost him to accommodate all of us here.

      An unknown man comes in, he's wearing a dulled red jumpsuit. He is a thief, I quickly observe but I allow him to continue and I say nothing. I do not dislike our host but yet I allow this thief to steal from him.

      But when he tries to steal a painting with strange colouring patterns on it, with the figure of a woman in a white-ish dress, I let him get away with it for a while before I start following him. I follow him into a corridor and jump on him and tell him he absolutely cannot take this painting because it's special to me. I think I'm angry? I ask him to take anything else except for this painting. I tell him that there are many other paintings in this big house and that many are by famous artists and can fetch far better prices on a black market.

      I have some feeling the painting is about my cousin T, but there was nothing identifiable on it that would indicate this. The visual recall is too vague.

      Then, we're all leaving. I am more wary about the thief now but allow him to continue with his subtleties. I see mom and my sibling T and three others from the family, squeezed inside a white or silver Peugeot. I don't notice which is side the driver is on. I try to find the car I'm supposed to get in, but I can't find it.

      Eventually I'm just walking around a town with dad and some more family. It's sunny, with a few clouds. Distant mountains kind of like where I live now, but sharper contours? But otherwise the area looks more like my native country even though it is a dream-generated place. In the distance I also see a thin but very tall smoke stack.

      Dad tells me this stack is for the purpose of "releasing the excess gas from the dormant volcano", and he refers to the volcano by name but I lost the recall of that name.

      We all cross a street at a crossing, except dad, who goes into an open manhole, with a warm orange glow coming out of it. I look in and there's a vertical climbing pole at the centre of it and it seems to go down a very long way, it's bright inside but a saturated orange dominates. I tell the rest I'll lag behind so that dad can catch up with us. I am across the road and there's some kind of cafe on this side. The rest of the family go in and through the cafe and out again on another side.

      (recall gap)

      Mix of several RPGs and reality. I kill a mob pack referencing something to Lord of the Rings. A unique and unidentified teal rarity ring drops and there's some kind of interface overlay even though I'm in first person.

      It's some kind of occult void ring. It distorts reality around it and I put it on, on my right hand I think. I'm in a room with pews, gothic windows and some kind of statues too maybe. Everything becomes dark except outside through the windows still seems bright, if dull. There's some kind of wind that I can't feel, but can see. Objects like the pews leave a trailing ghostly effect, with a dark, dark red after-shadow-image.

      I go to a piano. I realise there's two time limits now that I see at a top/central position of some UI. I was supposed to do something on the piano and don't manage to open some kind of secret passage in time.

      Then there's a cutscene about an ogre and a witch. There's animosity between the characters and there's an extreme distance between the two. Some dialogues? He loses all the will he had to kill her for some reason but still he rampages forward. While watching, I make note of the fact that there's some gold piled up in the side of some rooms as the ogre goes through these large underground gothic halls.



      Notes:

      - The ogre and the witch were very stereotypical in their representations.

      - The woman's painting had a dark background that contrasted her brighter dress. The painting had a rainbow-like spotty pattern all over it, like light scattering or something. It's similar to an idea I've had for painting but I haven't been able to attempt it properly.

      - Before falling asleep, I tried doing this active imagination thing and I remember getting a bit lost or carried away in it, especially as it made me get closer to falling asleep.

      - The smoke stack is like one where I live but it was taller than that; I'm not sure what the volcano thing could be about.
    10. clxxxviii. Concrete subway

      by , 11-09-2020 at 10:14 PM
      9th November 2020

      Initial note: Some parts of the dream were clearly about having to get ready in the morning but other parts felt more random. I didn't sleep through the whole night, having struggled to fall asleep and to stay asleep for most of the night, but only recalled the morning dream.

      Dream:

      The entirety of the dream takes place in what seems to be a subway and in some parts there's a feel of it being mixed with the layout of my old home.

      I remember being naked and at one point there's some kind of mini game thing happening and
      Spoiler for semi-graphic:


      And then the egg thing would hatch and a prize would come out of it, like a kinder-egg prize toy or something, but the prizes were completely random. As I kept doing this, things like bathroom spray cleaner bottles and other mundane objects would be "spawned" by the hatched eggs I was using. I think to myself very clearly "wow, it's almost like magic, but how do the companies make them appear as if they spawn from thin air from these comparatively very small eggs?" I add to the irony of this by then thinking "it must be some kind of quantum gateway tunnelling, I think", completely missing the cue.

      Then I remember getting dressed with my usual clothes, the ones I'd be wearing today basically. I don't remember putting socks on but I know I hadn't put on a top just yet. I recall an escalator which I go down on, it goes a long way forward and not very far down so it has a very small degree of elevation per step. The subway area itself is very much like the ones I've been used to from my old home area but far more vast and of incredible depth/height. For a while I'm the only person in the entire place.

      Then I hear dad calling for me and telling me about how we had to get on with it and get ready. (prior to this whole dream I had a waking moment where I had checked the time and it was still more than an hour's time away from my alarm going off) Mom is also here now and she's telling me about how T lost his citizen's card/ID in the subway just recently. I comment that I couldn't possibly lose something like that out of my wallet because it's all stuffed in quite tightly.

      Dad seems disappointed that we (me and T or me and H?) weren't ready sooner, but I tell him it's not even 8AM yet and he doesn't really change his tune, insistent that we should be more prepared or something to that effect.

      My recall faded a bit but eventually I had to go back to get a hoodie and I'm trying to not get lost in what seems to be an Escher-like maze quality that the subway seems to have. The entire underground area is very well lit but I'm left with an impression of darkness and recall the construction was primarily concrete, so it felt like a recent or cheap construction.

      I recall that at some point, there were some more particular things that had hatched from my eggs; one was a bony black creature with wings, like a dragon, but not. It had a frayed look, worn. At first I genuinely thought it was a toy because it started out inanimate and in a sort of fetal position? But when it started moving around I began to hope it wouldn't cause any chaos or mayhem while we were away for work today (pre-lucid thought).

      Another peculiar item that spawned from the eggs was a very authentic/official looking piece of scrap paper telling a military person who he should be looking at and what he should be doing when activating a nuclear arsenal. The paper had Spanish writing but it was mostly in English. The other military person mentioned was a "Dahlia" something or other, of an enlisted rank (sergeant comes to mind?).

      At the top of this thick paper were two groups of Hebrew or Jewish 6-point stars and taking up the right half of the document were some watermarked bald-eagles or something, but the paper was torn around this area. I couldn't make up my mind on where this document could possibly originate from, thinking about Mexico, the USA, Israel and other places. But I remember being amazed by the document and trying to tell H about it in the dream.



      Notes:

      - In the dream, I don't recall any of the "subway" area actually having any rail tracks. It just had the same feel as some stations I've been in, but on a bigger scale. I never did reach a terminal at any point in the dream, nor did I see any trams/trains. The whole place was very bare. Although subways used to be a common dream sign for me, they rarely feature quite as much as they used to a few years ago, probably since I don't use them currently.

      - Apart from how it felt physically, there was nothing particularly sexual about the mini-game thing.

      - I think part of what brought about the small dragon-like creature was the fact that H's cat had to have some emergency care very recently and so was looking quite "patchy" and ruffled when I saw a picture.

      - Part of what brought about the very peculiar military document was probably because I was reading about colonising of the Americas in general last night and also looking at different maps about the subject. Dahl and its variations is a name I find interesting but apart from the similarly named Borderlands fictional military-arms company, I'm not sure what would have prompted a character to be called Dahlia in one of my dreams, but it's not the first time a random word has been put together.

      - Although I don't recall what it was anymore, something did happen if I didn't use the eggs and just allowed them to hatch by themselves and from my perception (with it being a mini-game of some sort) this was "bad".

      - At the time of this dream I had recently been speaking to a transgender friend of mine, whom I hadn't spoken to for quite some time.

      Updated 11-14-2020 at 06:47 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    11. lxxxix.

      by , 02-24-2020 at 05:30 PM
      Morning of 23rd of Feb.


      Dream Fragment:

      Not sure where to start. I was in a church, but I remember a feel of RTS game to things and I was preparing an assault on the priest or something. Details are missing. Then I was ready and water appeared and partially flooded the church? Previously, me and someone else had replaced the trousers the priest was going to wear. Then the water was more like bed covers or something.

      Eventually this bit is over and I'm outside walking around. I walk on cobbled streets, meant for pedestrian use only. I reach some place like a parking lot. Mom is there for whatever reason.

      She starts telling me off about the trousers thing with the priest. She tells me all about how he can't get out of bed easily now and how depressed and sad he is... He has to call for a bucket of boiling water to be poured on his legs to get up each morning? I remember that scene vaguely, visually.

      Apparently he can't feel them anymore either. I think it's all a bit ridiculous, just because he was without his trousers for a while in a cold church...

      Mom and I get into an argument of sorts. She won't see reason and how there's something weird about priests story. I ask rhetorically "how miserable can he be, with his fancy BMW" but she gives me the old "money isn't happiness" crap. I comment "good riddance" if the priest doesn't return to the church, because he had a monotone voice that made his sermons completely boring, regardless of how interesting they actually were.

      Eventually we can't agree on anything and mom gets into this old and grey VW van? I walk away and put my hood up. At this point I'm keenly aware of what I'm wearing. My working trousers, my old cream hoodie and my black boots.

      I feel moody after the argument and walk back from where I cam from on the wide cobbled paths. Some teens are about, up to no good I feel. I feel moody and I am aware of my face doing that thing where I look so grumpy that I just end up looking nasty and violent to anyone who sees me.

      I message H on my phone, which feels bigger than it actually should be. My message is about mom and how it felt like she was being unreasonable. While messaging I am distracted and I take the wrong turn. I see a barrier of some kind along the path and a kid's park beyond it. I feel annoyed. In the dream I knew this wasn't the way and turn back around and cross some bridge.

      The surroundings are odd along these paths. It's like an old town area but there are no buildings properly speaking? Just some walls, not even building walls. A transition?

      I am back at the church. I realise it's more like a chapel really. There's a service and the priest is nowhere to be seen. There's a small black man. It almost looks like he suffers from some form of dwarfism. People in the church aren't paying full attention because they are reading something on the pews about the priest's current/latest condition.

      The small man invites me to stay, and I nod or something. I try to find somewhere I feel comfortable about sitting. When I do sit, he starts singing. He has a beautiful and sort of deep voice, much more than I'd expect for how small he is. I think to myself how I'd much prefer to see him all the time at the services, over that priest.

      Then everything finishes, and we're outside. I find the priest at some stairs going into an underground area, where I was going to leave through. The priest is wearing what looks to be an overly warm coat, even for a cold day and he seems to be pretty much fine in terms of his health.

      For whatever reason, an old school friend of mine is in the tunnel too, but I see him as if I'd see him every day. But he's carrying some stuff, including a toolbox like H has. I give him a hand and bring the toolbox. We quicken our pace and move away from the group of people behind us. I want to tell him something about what's been going on, but I forget what it was.

      Some transition again. I'm at the priest's house for some reason. He and his wife are there. They're not aware of my presence? They talk about how their plan worked and how they could now swap hairstyles or something. It didn't make much sense at all even in the dream, but I felt it proved I was right about something weird going on with the priest.



      No notes for now.
    12. lxxxiv.

      by , 02-14-2020 at 12:32 PM
      Some fragments. Recall seemed better for the second and third dreams on waking up.



      Dream Fragment:


      I was in the kitchen. It was a bit dark but not night time. Like very early morning just after sun rise, and with the blinds rolled down. I remember standing by the fridge, naked I think? I remember seeing my feet and legs. For some reason, I could hear in my head what I thought at the time to be a theme song for the TV show called Roswell, a show I never watched myself, but I know of it. I don't actually remember what that music sounded like but it seemed familiar in the dream, in a way that makes me think that it had nothing to do with that show, but I'll have to try and find it after writing this DJ.

      Wedged between the fridge and the counter it is adjacent to, I remember noticing one of the wooden grave markers H's dad was working on yesterday when we went there. The cross was upside down and it looked like we had just shoved it in there in a hurry to make some room in the kitchen. The fridge is a fridge on top and freezer on the bottom and I remember seeing the logo somewhat distinctly in the dream.

      No idea how this dream went on or ended.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was entering some sort of supermarket, it felt like it was underground. There were quite a few people here, seemed like a popular place. Looked a bit like the cheap supermarket I go to but for whatever reason my old friend from university, R, was walking along with me. We both had a trolley.

      I was very confused by the layout, first there were mostly energy drinks and then soft drinks. I think I commented on them being crap but I also felt hungry more than anything else. We continued on and eventually we got to a very odd bit, where I had to watch what other people were doing to understand. There was like a sort of circular checkpoint thing that we had to go into in queues. I grabbed some big and fresh looking pears I spotted to my right, and apparently some bananas too. I knew immediately the pears would be sweet, as I prefer them, and not at all wooden. There were some fake metal barriers to enforce queues.

      I got to the centre of this checkpoint thing. There was a woman on a swivel chair? She was wearing a cap but had curled hair tucked into it or something. She was in the middle of this four-section rounded island with shop scanner things on each of the four sections. I remember giving her the fruits or placing them down on the metal/glass surface.

      She scanned the fruit somehow and I continued off away from the checkpoint thing.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some kind of mix of GTA and other games like Deus Ex. I remember being on a completely unknown city and having a map divided into levels, like there used to be in Zelda's dungeons. 1F,2F, etc.

      There were some ghoul like enemies at some point and a UDamage pickup, which when I tried getting, some quick imp or rat thing got it and scurried off.

      I remember being on some sort of snow bike and using a turbo mode that activated an orange energy saw and killing some of these ghouls. This was an enclosed area, with many narrow paths and with an underground feel to it. At the end of it I found a portal marked by an inverse encircled pentagram, which was a path to hell. I decided to not go through yet but would come back to it when I felt stronger.

      Then I was outside and it was night time. Everything was brightly lit. I remember fighting some guys at a bridge over a wide channel of water that looked like it had very strong currents, as it was quite foamy and uneven.

      Much earlier in the dream there was an area of sort of open field but I don't really remember any details. Too tired to write much more.



      Notes:
      - I'm not entirely sure what prompted the appearance of both the cross and the pentagram (both inverted) in two separate dreams, but yesterday H's dad was making about twelve of these cross-shaped grave markers. I remember asking if they were consecrated or blessed in any way once they were done. I was told that there's no point, since they are just temporary markers. This might account for the marker's appearance in my dream, as I had some interest in them since he was basically working on them all day and we were there for most of it.

      - The third dream was a mix of many, many games, far too many to actually describe in reasonable detail. But the part with the UDamage and the inverted pentagram was most definitely based mostly on: DOOM, Daikatana and Unreal (Tournament). All of these have some themes in common, but the game engines are also all quite similar in some aspects. Hell and unholy motifs such as ghouls are closely related to DOOM of course and they also feature in UT. Some time ago I was working on a cathedral level for UT, but abandoned the project due to its complexity for my current skill level. The level featured an underground hellish portal that would take players to the top of the level.

      - The Christian-type symbols probably also made their appearances because last night I spent a fair bit of time speaking to H about how I have often felt, and often still feel, because of my constant pain issues. There is a somewhat subconscious link between pain and some version of hell, for me.

      - In the second dream, I seem to remember R was wearing his typical leather jacket. I don't remember seeing his face much in the dream.

      - In that same dream, many of the dream characters seemed to be some type or another of friends or acquaintances I used to have. My mom appeared in that dream at some point, near the end, along with some dreamed up ogre-like uncle of some kind.

      Updated 02-14-2020 at 12:56 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    13. lxxxi.

      by , 02-09-2020 at 12:53 PM
      Some dream fragments. There was a third one but I have such a faint and vague memory of it, not even sure where I'd start. I practically lost the other ones while getting up but made sure to keep my eyes closed as much as possible until I could write here, which helped.




      Dream Fragment:


      I remember being at some sort of concrete structure. I'm not sure if I was "me" but a couple of other people were here too, I think one of them was that Torres guy from NCIS. This place was dark and there was a massive abyss right in front of us. Across this abyss was another flat area made of concrete and there were some soldiers there. They were holding us here or something and they shouted that we should stay put.

      The soldiers got on a platform and it started moving down very fast. They disappeared from sight. Somewhere down there was some light, but it must have been a literal mile or more away. Then some more soldiers appeared but this time they didn't wait for the platform and just jumped down where the platform shaft area was. I was intrigued but at some point in the dream I simply "knew" that at the bottom was a special fluid that would break any fall, no matter from how high.

      Torres like the idea of just jumping across and into that specific area. I felt it was too risky. It was a long way down and there was no way to aim ourselves properly and the gap between the two concrete areas was quite wide. But he got on some sort of pole hanging from our side and got closer to the other side, hanging just over the middle. Then some soldiers came back up on the platform and noticed. They started shouting at him and warning him to stop. He ignored them and now he grabbed onto some rope that was hanging from the ceiling. That's as much as I remember clearly for this fragment.

      I do remember there were no light sources. We were very deep underground most certainly, but somehow we had a light radius of our own, like in RPGs where the characters just give off light...

      Dream Fragment:

      I don't remember how I got there but I arrived at a small lab/office place. This dream was somewhat vivid, more than the other one. There were two researchers, wearing labcoats, and one of them greeted me. He seemed a bit uninterested at first but then he saw my boots. They were covered in some sort of pale golden sand. I realised I hadn't noticed this myself until that moment and he became very interested. He went over to a counter and showed me some tins with rounded caps.

      The caps were all a shade of gold or tan. He asked me to see which one I thought was closest. I selected four of the tins first just as a guess. Then I held them and made their coloured cap be over my right boot in my vision. The first wasn't it, too orange. The second and third one seemed similar, the fourth one was too dark but the right hue. I compared between the second and third against the sand and decided the third one was the closest. He seemed happy with this and I felt somewhat happy to help. I made a comment saying "well at least I can definitely tell that my skill at recognising shades correctly has improved". I genuinely felt this was true in that moment and realise now that it was indeed a very accurate test of my skill in this.

      The other researcher was just doing something on his own over on another counter but I don't remember what. Oddly enough, despite looking at my feet, can't be certain what the floor was like. Some sort of plastic tiles? Maybe wood. But square shapes. The counters were an off white on the top and a light stained wood on the cabinets. There were a couple of windows to the outside and I made note of the fact that it was daytime outside, but the room was quite brightly lit anyway with some fluorescent lamps that actually gave off a warm colour for once.

      This whole dream bit felt like it was in sequence of the previous one or another one between them.



      Side notes:

      - It could possibly be the first time while dreaming where I had to use a skill that I'd use for painting in waking life. For me this is a particularly good sign because for a long time I've wanted that context to come over into dreams in some form.
      - The researchers wearing labcoats were clearly dreamsigns that I missed. The labcoat is a dreamsign I successfully managed to insert into my dreams as a dreamsign a while back, I think last year or the year before.
      - The dust on my boots reminded me very much of gold powder in the dream. In the dream I had a much clearer notion of where I had been previously, which was relevant for that context.
      - Despite looking at my boots and remembering them very clearly as the black leather army-type boots I have in waking life, I only vaguely remember my trousers and can't really say which ones they were. It seems odd that my boots are the only detail I remember clearly from looking down, despite the fact that in the dream everything was the same level of vividness.
      - I do remember I was wearing some sort of dark hoodie in that dream. I remember it because I remember the sensation of having the sleeves pulled up, something I often do if I'm indoors.
      - Don't have much at all to make note of from the first dream since many details are vague now, but the fall-breaking fluid definitely made me think of stuff from Portal and from Satisfactory.