• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccclxxxv. Alien collective invades, Questioning if I'm really me

      by , 05-26-2022 at 05:10 PM
      2022 May 9th

      Some in-line notes.

      7:50
      Fragment:
      (woke up sweating, vivid long dream)
      Some build-up or something; there are aliens and we are fighting them off as a whole, but only just barely so. It's revealed these aliens are just a scouting party and they are part of a larger conglomerate of alien species. During the dream I see several different scenes just as an observer.

      Meanwhile, there's chaos as a human leader, a woman with short hair, declares that nobody has rights anymore, and that we are moving into a new era beyond our conventional conception of rights. She sounds or seems delusional in some way. I think I saw her give this announcement on some TV thing, but just as an observer.

      Then I'm in a town, outside. There's a modern feel to the area and the previous announcement had been broadcast on the radio, though I didn't hear this myself as a character.

      There's an RPG element to reality but it feels absolutely real in every other way.

      I survive an attack and fight my way into some place. I am constantly chased by aliens or possibly their machines. Eventually, I use some fast-travel mechanic. Once at my destination, I meet up with a friendly robot. It explains that this worm thing has moved to the edge of reality, it looks like a Combine alien. (In retrospect this whole bit makes me think of the original Dune film)

      Normally, reality moves independently of what's in it. But being at the edge curves reality and causes this high pitch noise to be heard throughout the entire dream. And now, in it's current state, reality moves with the contents. This means there's a very big danger to existence itself and all this chaos makes it worse to deal with. (This segment made no sense at all after waking, but during the dream everything seemed to make sense; there were implied laws of reality that were taken for granted and the whole thing had a semi-mystical aspect to it)

      10:15
      Fragment:
      (most of recall lost for needing to answer door)

      In one bit, I'm this woman, a diver, and I'm coming out of some water into a house or apartment through the floor. It's night time or the house is dark, some lights are on. I'm sort of on the floor, tummy down. A TV is in front of me. I think to myself, "am I actually myself?" and then, just as I'm about to do a reality check with my hands, this other woman with curly hair comes out of a doorframe, smiles at me and we start talking. We know each other as characters. At this point I think to myself that I like her body. I still try to do the reality check, but because of the conversation and social setting, I end up not focusing enough on my reality check.
    2. ccclxxx. Sunken temple, character shading, fight between two women

      by , 05-07-2022 at 01:20 PM
      26th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about WoW. I remember discussing Sunken Temple in chat and also being near the actual place.


      28th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about drawing. I draw or notice in a character drawing, some different way of shading around the edges? (Wish I'd retained recall better)


      29th April 2022

      ~9:00
      Fragment:

      (Left recall too long, about two hours from waking)

      A dream bit where I'm either an observer or just watching in some sense. These two women are fighting each other, one of them is in her mid fourties or so and she's using a pole or something like one to attack the other woman. She has semi Asian features but would otherwise seem Caucasian, with a sort of gristly and greying black wavy hair.

      The other woman is in her mid twenties or so. She's white, has straight black hair. The area is like some outdoor stone steps, cream colours, modern architectural feel.

      As the two of them fight, the younger one starts growing, at first only her breasts but then all of her, proportionally. The older woman remarks cheekily on this and the growing younger woman complains that now she won't be able to go to the ball or gala (?) and in the end her breasts end up being smaller in proportion compared to how they were before the growth. She's also upset about the fact that she won't be able to get any clothes to fit her now.

      (Dream went on, rest of recall was lost)


      Notes:

      - Mostly some notes for the last fragment: It is not too typical for me to be present in a dream only as an observer, though it does happen. In this case however, the relation between the dream characters seems like a dynamic that might happen between some of my characters like S and N, though with a detached relationship between each other in this case.

      - The older woman had more air of confidence to herself than the younger one did, and if anything the younger woman had more anger to her. This may be a reflection of what I've found through my own conscious and waking retrospection as I've gotten older.

      - In a sense, both women were the same woman. The older woman could be said to be an altered or warped version of the younger and what she lacked in drive she made up for in the self-confidence; this seems evident from how she made a cheeky remark when the younger woman started growing, rather than being intimidated by the fact. And likewise, the younger woman's angry drive became more of a hapless confusion as the situation changed unexpectedly, her concerns turning away from the immediate fighting (perhaps because the threat appeared diminished relative to her) and onto concerns about a unspecified future (the clothes, the ball/gala).

      - A side note here, S and N appeared as characters mostly through non-conscious manifestation, whilst their development became partly consciously adopted. So for me the relationship between these two women in this dream is of special interest because it happened entirely out of a non-conscious dynamic, which evolved on its own. I had no influence or interaction, I was simply an observer, which meant that their development was not influenced by my thought, because as the type of observer I was, I had no specific thoughts, perhaps because any part of me that was capable of thought and emotion was inhabiting the women, whilst the senses themselves were not removed from my point of view, as an observer.
    3. ccclxix. Crowded school, Government lady, Assassins investigation, Space exodus

      by , 03-02-2022 at 12:05 AM
      19th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Some bit outside with childhood friend D. Unusually, he's sad or depressed, in an angry sort of way. There's a city road and cars, they seem abandoned?

      Later. In a school place with H; there's some Chinese children and we have to walk through this room where some of the children are, to get to the teacher's desk. We have to be careful because the room is somewhat packed. The teacher is male and speaks in English to us.


      20th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about factions and such. There's a sort of palatial and governmental-like building with guards, who tell me to take my boots off. In a certain part of the dream, playing soccer against my cousin T; we're both bare foot and she kicks me on the genitals as we're playing. It feels purposeful? I tell this lady supervising us that this isn't fair and that I would play better with my boots on anyway. This lady supervising is some sort of regional regent. There is no sense of a waking-world country being related to this place and its government.

      (later) In the kitchen. Putting something for H in the red thermos (the one from family).


      22nd February 2022

      ~6:00-10:00
      Fragment (DFLN):

      In some kind of base or complex. The walls are plain concrete or metal and there's a dry-green tinge. There's only artificial lighting and I can't recall daylight at any point. I interact with other characters though I mostly only vaguely recall a segment on some kind of descending shaft with a stairwell or something. A group of assassins that I'm investigating or something? Following a trail perhaps. In this cylindrical shaft with the stairwell I find a katana with a gilded pattern both on the hilt and at the base of the blade, the edge may be gilded too. I discuss the blade with someone, a woman(?) nearby, as I inspect it.

      Fragment:
      Space. Going towards the edge of the galaxy with a fleet. I encounter a previously unknown race which sells or trades with us for some technology blueprints they have available, including blueprints for a battlecruiser, or perhaps a battleship. I see a HW-like user interface and accept the exchange. I remember thinking that it would be very helpful to have some extra firepower because of others with overwhelming numbers.

      Then, in a further region of space, further along towards the galaxy edge I think. Something about space or reality is distorted in this region.


      26th February 2022

      Scraps:

      Something about cotton buds; blue stalks, in a clear plastic tub, round?


      Notes:

      - I've recently been playing Homeworld, so that's probably part of why there was this theme in the last fragment. Though in the Homeworld games there's mostly a focus towards going towards the galaxy core, as there is in some other similarly themed sci-fi games. In the dream, there was more of a sense of exodus away from the central areas, which also relates partly with the Homeworld story. When I've recently played the game again, I gave the story a lot more thought than the first times I played the games, years ago.

      - It's curious that there was the theme with the assassins and the katana. I've recently had very vague thoughts about playing Divine Cybermancy again and I feel that the themes in that dream were partly intrusions from these thoughts.

      - The bit where I'm playing soccer with my cousin, I think we're both adults and it's like she's implied to be an agent for this unknown government. I think in the dream I had a more connected sense of what was what but if I did, I couldn't hold on to recall it after waking.
      - We were playing in a room and the whole thing felt like some kind of test. I imagine the low-blow has some kind of metaphorical meaning, anything relating to blows or hits to the area is a rare event in my dreams, and usually feels especially symbolic for some reason, perhaps in part due to its rarity too. There was also a sunset and cinematic-like feel, despite the fact I was myself in first-person.
    4. cccx. Survival island

      by , 07-30-2021 at 01:37 AM
      28th July 2021

      Several bits around the same theme of survival.

      Fragment:

      I'm watching a video, or TV broadcast. It's about a survival show on a large island. They're saying "in our previous show only a few survivors could manage to scratch a living but now up to seven million tribals will be competing!", something like that. There's this image super-imposed over a panning view of a tropical island. The super-imposed image is an idle animation of some white tribals posing together, forming a sort of pyramidal composition as is often seen in group photos. I think to myself that the older existing tribes won't take kindly to such a number of newcomers.

      I also think to myself that I'd rather be there myself, playing, rather than just watching TV.

      (transition or recall gap, chronology got messed up in recording the dream)

      I'm on a sandy and sunny beach, it's near noon judging by the sun. I later become aware that to my left there is a jungle or forest area and further left and close-by is a ruined town or city. I came out of some kind of drop pod and I see someone else who just has too. I'm not sure whether or not I should trust someone else at this point.

      Then some raptors about our own size appear and they start harassing each of us. I hit them with something and try to grasp them by the neck and try to twist and break them. I possibly kill one or two and help the other person out, a woman. Then when we're in close proximity, one of the raptors is trying to steal something from me, and it succeeds. I try to catch the raptor and it behaves like a cheeky dog and I may be slightly annoyed. The woman recommends I let go and don't bother chasing the animal. I eventually let go and the raptor stops being cheeky and just ruins off into the ruined city.

      (recall gap)

      Still with the same woman? She needs to send an e-mail to someone and I know there aren't many places where she can do that, here. We go into a building that I was in before at some point in the dream. Inside, it's dark. Lots of dark brown colour, like rust. There are many mechanical mechanisms and there are a few desktop computers set up in a cramped corridor.

      There are many things here that I know to have been set up by H in the dream. I sit at some chair or something in front of a computer. I'm trying to change the plugs around back so that she can use this old Windows 95 machine, because I still don't fully trust her and figure that this way she won't be able to release any viruses intentionally, or accidentally. For some reason I'm struggling with the plugs. The video connection coming out of the W95 machine is almost like a USB but the shape is slightly different and won't fit into the even weirder input shape on the other computer, or screen.

      I eventually give up and just let her use the normal computer, feeling that I can trust her just enough anyway.

      (recall gap)

      Something about another building or another part of this same building. There's some small weird water gremlin bug thing... In actuality it looks a bit like a grey coloured shrimp but in the dream I think of it as crayfish. I am nervous around it because it moves erratically and I don't like its look and the look of its "whiskers".



      Notes:

      - The next day, I was using some Firewire stuff with H to set up a microphone for me to use. At the time, that made me think of the USB-like plugs in the dream, because Firewire is not too different in the physical look of the ends and its intended purpose is similar anyway.

      - My nervousness around the grey creature was related both to shallow standing water in that area and also to the residual feelings of fright or jump-scare I still get from, for example, some arachnids.
      -- I do not particularly like shrimp, neither in look or smell, though I can't say I recall their taste. I always thought they looked a bit too "bug"-like to eat, despite their popularity in my native region.

      - I had to look up crayfish because I couldn't actually remember what they looked like; the dream creature really didn't resemble them.
    5. cclxxxi. Lady playing on consoles, Automated office building, Scraps

      by , 06-07-2021 at 01:57 PM
      7th June 2021

      Fragment:

      At some version of my current home. Through the office window, I see a flatbed trailer with organ and piano consoles on it. It implies the room is actually at ground floor. I am excited when I see a lady playing on the consoles as I approach the window. I go out of the room and call H to come and see; he comes with me to the room to look but now she's actually in the room, which seems to have expanded in width. I try to get her attention but she's focused on her playing and she's wearing headphones but eventually realises and we say hello to each other and so on. She then talks to H about something, she seems happy or content, smiling at us a lot. There was more to this dream but I cannot recall it now.


      Dream:

      In a city, I'm by a body of water. I enter a skyscraper building located here. It's empty of people but has automated systems in place and is not abandoned. Sliding doors open automatically and I enter a huge ground floor lobby. The building heavily features tinted glass and there's a blood red colour scheme which on some level I really enjoy. There's a sunset, but I don't see it directly, just its effect of light and shadow length. In the lobby, I nervously but excitedly approach a lift entrance, the doors slide open immediately as I get close.

      There's a console in this bit which isn't the actual elevator yet, I use a password "number3" and I'm relieved when it works. Another set of doors, like mall lift doors but sort of like blast doors, slide open and I enter the lift proper now. It quickly takes me up to the top of the building or something, an off-limits area. I exit the lift and enter a sealed room with no windows, some glass sliding doors opening as I walk in, into a second room that really didn't require that separation by the glass doors. The colour scheme remains the same. I know I'm trespassing and fear being caught, but I revel in the fact there's nobody around.

      I use the same password as before at a computer terminal at the end of the room, it's in a sort of alcove and it's a touch-screen which had sort of flipped itself around towards me. The terminal grants me access to lots of things, but I'm not sure what. I return to this dream location through the exact same process later on in the dream, but when I do, I arrive at the building in H's van and am talking to him over the phone.

      I remember another part in-between the two times at the building, in the middle of the city instead. I hear a group of guys talking trash. One guy says he listens to people's life stories of things gone horribly wrong or traumatic events and then he himself manipulates people by copying these stories and pretending they actually happened to him even though they didn't. Eventually, feeling I heard enough, I feel angry and come out around the corner I was listening from. I walk towards where his voice was, but now there's nobody there, even though I remember seeing them just before. I'm still charged with the emotion and don't stop myself from having a go at him verbally, even if he's not there anymore.

      Suddenly I take notice of and become distracted by some buildings that are here in front of me. They're very concrete-like, bare, no windows, like they're half-finished but in the dream I feel they are more half-abandoned. I enter one to my right, it goes further than it looked like it would and feels like I'm sort of walking into an industrial area. I go up a low incline concrete ramp. Here, I see an alien egg and shoot at it with something which makes it burst and then something scurries out but I somehow capture it at a distance using something else. Ahead, there are more eggs and I have a proximity scanner (not unlike in Alien). I shoot these eggs and they all burst in a sequence, again crawling facehugger things come out and I try to capture them all, only just managing to do so. I was concerned that if they got away there would be too many drones (I remember imagining this).


      Scraps:


      Mom, dad and T. I'm getting a drink and talking to dad, in a kitchen that looked like it was part of some hotel rooms I remember us staying in when I was a kid.

      Some other dream involving M/M themes or something.

      A different dream where someone was commenting that my junk was too visible through my clothes, I felt resentment at the comment as I felt it was not in my control.



      Quick Edited Notes:

      - Re-reading the main dream I realised that it's somewhat unlike most of my more recent dreams, which to my memory seem much more emotionally neutral.

      - Alien related theme probably came from recently watching some of that stuff again. The link with concrete doesn't seem clear but the concrete in itself may relate to both emotional states (or lack of) and my own view of my own art at times (unable to depict emotion); Alien has a direct link to Giger for me and therefore to a specific style of surrealist art, too.

      Updated 06-08-2021 at 01:52 AM by 95293 (added notes)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    6. ccxiv. The dark pyramid and a strange town

      by , 01-22-2021 at 11:42 AM
      21st January 2021

      Dream:

      (not the earliest point I can recall in the dream)

      I'm in a dark and sooty room at the apex of a pyramid. I don't remember seeing the outside, I just have this knowledge intuitively. There's also a bottomless square pit. The soot is dark brown and seems to have an increased build up the further up it is on the inner apex. I don't know how I'm able to see, there's no light source but things look just bright enough.

      There's some kind of machine near the middle of the room. By the looks of it, it should be fixed down to the ground but it isn't. It has a main moving part, a piston or pushrod of some kind. It jerks around out of control indefinitely. I think something but the recall is gone.

      The scene changes a bit and a white lady with light curly hair appears? She starts speaking like she's in a documentary, she mentions the machine but then there is a focus on a puppy that appears in the room. The puppy is an integral part of the room, I feel or she explains, and an integral part of whatever purpose the machine is supposed to serve.

      She explains that someone has to come and feed the puppy every day, but that otherwise it must always remain her. I touch the dog, it's a gold labrador at first? I say something aloud about it being unfair for the dog, or something.

      (recall gap)

      In a Japanese town, but it just looks like any town in Britain or the USA, it has more "room" like the latter. I think to myself it's odd that it's a Japanese town. All the people I see around are distant from me and I can't tell what their ethnicity actually is, making me suspect it's not really a Japanese town. But I don't investigate my suspicions further, some kind of dream plot drags me around the town; I'm being chased, or someone else is, and I'm following.

      A man, he was being chased. We arrive at a house that's also a restaurant or inn. A pub, effectively? There's a flagpole outside on the garden, I notice the ground is covered in snow. For some reason I fear this man is going to defecate on his own snowy lawn. He doesn't. The flag flying on that pole is one like that for India, I notice. Three horizontal stripes, top to bottom; green, white, red or orange. With a stylised black sun in the middle.

      The man invites me inside. Seemingly the chase is up.

      (recall gap)

      I'm shown some kind of machine. H is with me. The man leaves for a while; he said he'd like us to fix this machine for him. It looks like it's bare, i.e. no aesthetic coverings, etc.

      It has some kind of plastic platters. Looks like many random bits off CD players, tape machines, etc. But the size of the parts is different from what it would be in those machines. H tries to adjust something and the large top platters ping off towards the back left side. We are annoyed, but conclude it probably helps us anyway.

      (rest of recall is too vague)



      Notes:

      - The machine at the pyramid's apex looked like it was some random thing cobbled together from different bits of wood and maybe some metal. It looked very crude and it was equally crude in behaviour.

      - This pyramid's apex felt almost like the mix between a loft and the inside of a regularly used chimney.
      -- The room and its contents felt like they had some strong symbolic associations. Could be an interesting place to try doing some dreamwork.

      - When I questioned the town's Japanese-ness, my awareness of the dream overall increased but I was instinctively taken by the dream plot before I could really think about it further. I realise now I could have thought about it further while running but I didn't.
    7. ccviii. School stuff and a brief rampage

      by , 01-11-2021 at 05:31 PM
      11th January 2021

      Dream:

      At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

      Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

      She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

      At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

      I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

      It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

      She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

      The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

      I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

      She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

      I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

      The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

      (later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

      I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

      I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

      I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.



      Notes:

      - This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

      - I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

      - That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.
    8. cxxxix. Pre-lucid moment and artificial dream sign

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:22 AM
      1st July 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

      Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

      I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

      Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

      (Missing recall)

      Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

      (Missing transition)

      Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.



      Notes:

      - This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
      -- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

      - My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

      - The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
      - This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.
    9. cxxxiii.

      by , 08-07-2020 at 08:40 PM
      14th June 2020

      Dream Fragment:

      In some altered version of our house, with H. I remember a greenhouse of sorts around back, it was dark.

      Transition? Another scene, still same area. Me and H walking around and there's this Polish lady and in the dream she is a neighbour of ours. She has a kid or two, and a husband who is away at the moment.

      We hear her talk in her native language to her child, who is indoors. She's sitting on a dark grey fibreglass chair outside, our garden areas are apparently joined together. Her house isn't lined up straight with ours though, it's set further back, so the door leading inside her house from the "back" is technically on the side of her house, not the front or back.

      I remember we spoke to her, she wanted something, like something done for her or fixed for her perhaps.



      Notes:
      - In the dream I remember that my knowledge about her family was simply intuitive, as if we'd known the family casually for years.
      - While I don't really remember the lady's appearance or her children's appearance, I have the feeling she had black, tied-back hair. This fits some character archetype my dream mind keeps constructing from time to time.

      - I am recalling, having written the above note, that I had a short-term friend (Ca) when I was a kid, who sort of matched this description; she was particularly tall despite being about the same age but she did get some abuse from other kids for that, since kids always find ways of being mean. I remember for a few years I'd always been a bit sad we didn't stay in touch or remain friends since we didn't stay in touch, but to be honest at some point I just don't even remember seeing her anymore, despite the fact that my home town was fairly condensed and most people knew each other in some vague way at the very least. During my childhood she was one of few girls with whom I got along with quite well.

      - I think my dream mind likes to feature different families with children of their own as a window into what that life might be like.
      - The backyard, oddly enough, was actually grassy, unlike the concrete backyard we do have at our current home.
    10. cxxviii.

      by , 08-01-2020 at 11:36 AM
      4th June

      Dream:

      Me, H and some other hundred workmen were redoing tiles, mostly on walls, of some cathedral/palace place.

      There was a Lord Durnstam, who had a black and gold crown. He was king of the local region. During a break, which had no set time, I wandered the main where most of the workmen were. Many walls had enormous and ornate wooden bookcases and in some vaulted alcoves there were a number of great paintings all sort of a standard size. The themes were mostly random, but pertaining to Durnstam. They were all privately commissioned by him and I wondered who the artist was.

      When I started working on the tiles at the start of the dream, the place seemed moodier and poorly lit. There was this contractor next to me, a woman with faded blonde hair which was tied back, though her hair wasn't that long anyway. She had cream colour pants and a white tank top.

      I didn't know what to do for whatever reason, or I was confused; so she started sort of poking fun about it but in a playful way. In any case I left this small room and turned around the corner looking for H, finding H immediately.

      I asked for help and he sort of rolled his eyes but got up and followed me. We went back to that small room with the lady, who was still there and working. H gave me a bit flat screwdriver to remove the mortar with. I said it wouldn't do, and asked where the electrician's chisel was. H said it would be too vicious but I didn't believe so. In any case, I started to remove mortar. But it wasn't like proper mortar, it was brittle yes, but also sort of soft. Part of me wondered how it was working at all or how it had remained in place undisturbed.

      Then the hall scene, while walking around, I was holding the screwdriver or maybe a big steel crowbar. It felt heavy but both not enough and too much to actually be either of those items; I don't remember my clothes.

      By the end of the dream I was in some side wing of the place. There were modern windows, big and plain. But the light mood was again poor and dark. The worker woman had followed for some time but H wasn't around anymore, having returned to working elsewhere. Then my old friend Da replaced the woman at some point and he was eating a sandwich, which he then passed me and then I had one of my own. I tried doing work while eating but it wasn't going to do, so I stopped trying to multitask like this and just held his sandwich and ate mine.

      Then at some point there was a big black man, sitting somewhere on the other side of the room, by the windows. He got up and started singing as he did. It was Gregory Porter and in the dream I heard the lyrics clearly, but I don't remember them anymore. They were some sort of comment on society as a whole.

      Earlier I remember on this side wing hall there were miniscule 1cm tiles all along the wall, making one long continuous mosaic. I thought I'd start on that wall from the bottom and said I was wanting to do these. Some worker walked past and almost laughed. The woman was still with me and pointed out it would be a nightmare to redo because I'd have to do the whole lot once I started. I was confused and up to that point hadn't realised the mosaic was proper tiles, explaining that I thought it was vinyl (lino cover).



      Notes:
      - Although this dream wasn't super vivid, some of the recall was quite detailed. The whole dream was quite long and felt like it took a while.
      - In reality there is no such place as Durnstam so there couldn't possibly be a Lord Durnstam.
      - The guy that sang like Gregory Porter, I don't remember him looking like the actual person; I remember the dream character as being a bit bigger and more athletic. Curiously enough this seems to relate to something I read only recently about gymnasts and musicians.
      - Unfortunately, song and lyrics and generally speaking, harmony and music, tend to be some of the first things I lose memory of on awakening.
      - The whole dream probably came about as we had recently been doing some tile-related work in our home.
      - I seem to remember the Lord was present in the main hall, but I may have just seen a portrait of him.
    11. cxvi.

      by , 07-19-2020 at 11:17 AM
      4th May

      Fragment:


      A few dreams, the last one was in some kind of hotel room with two of my cousins, from dad's side. I don't remember much furniture at all We had some backpacks, mine was nothing like I've ever owned however. It was blue, bulky and square-ish; I have seen these in the past and have wondered what it would be like to have one, often thinking they are "cool".

      But for some reason, we all got naked; there was some kind of pretext about us being smelly at the end of the day or something; then the two of them went to shower. I remember peeking through the somewhat open bathroom door and seeing two walk-in shower/wetroom areas, but only one shower head/hose. C was washing herself, and then her sister in turns. I think they were giggling for some reason.

      Dream:

      Not sure where or how this one started but I was in a city; sunny and stray white clouds. I remember lots of cut limestone blocks in the buildingwork, so it was like areas from my old home. This place was very busy, it was like one of the town/city areas with lots of public space. R from university was there. At first I walked right past him, it took me a while to recognise him.

      His hair was slightly curled rather than flat. He was sitting or leaning against a wide limestone edge and was sweet talking with his girlfriend who was practically in his face and vice versa. I retraced some steps back as I realised it was him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and greeted me, apparently happy to see him. I remember conversation, but not its content.

      A transition? I'm somewhere entirely different, I can't recall the environment very well but I can only describe it as dirty and gritty. Dominant hues in red, orange and moss green.

      There was a small apartment building here, not far from a road, fourty to sixty yards. The building had a kind of trough dug around it, but not very deep, no more than a foot deep. More like a small dip really, and outside the trough circling the building, was a effectively a circular pile of guns. There were so many piled up I can't even guess at the number. Some had bright colours. Reminds me of Borderlands somehow. I remember going inside and walking through some poorly lit halls until I came to a flat that was quite small, the door was wide open. It looked a mess. There were some closed curtains and the room was poorly lit too. Outside still seemed dark-ish.

      I think I was here with someone, maybe H? But I don't remember what else happened in the room. I think there was a third person, a woman possibly. Then I remember being outside the building, I'm walking over the pile of guns carefully as I assume them all to be loaded. I look to my right and there's this shack made of corrugated panels or the like and there's a gang hanging out there.

      Some woman, possibly the one from before, stands next to me and tells me I should go talk to them. They've been causing havoc for some time in the region/area. I agree at first but then I look down and see some blue and red grenade launchers. I pick them up, not as heavy as I might expect. I turn to the left and aim at a tree or something which is at a similar distance to me as the gang was. I fire a few practice shots. I then quickly turn back towards the gang and start firing a hail of grenades over their shack. They grab some guns and start running towards me shouting and shooting with poor aim. I remember noticing a health display of sorts over some of them that were injured. They got quite close, but I still kept using the grenades to fight them.

      Recall fades a bit but then there was a transition and I remember being in some hallways, dark and moonlit. My recall stops about here.
    12. lxv.

      by , 11-04-2018 at 12:16 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up at 8:20 or so with my alarm, waking up from a non-lucid, sweating. Slept some more and woke up again around 2 hours later with one or two non-lucids.



      Dream 1:
      I was living in a house with my partner (H); I remember it had a ground floor and a first floor. It was day time, and sunny. One of our neighbours was a couple, a man and a woman, who had two kids, two boys I think.

      One of those boys started to "accuse" me of looking at him, when I hadn't been; this went on for a while in the dream and the parents themselves didn't seem that interested... Later on, this boy, the younger of the two I think, started messing around and eventually he tried to get into our house for some reason or something. I decided we should catch him and make him calm down and explain his problems.

      I waited for him to be on top of our wall or fence or something and then when he couldn't see me I'd grabbed him by the legs and took him in and told him to calm down, as he was obviously upset now. I asked him why he was being left here when his parents were gone and he wasn't sure; and he said that sometimes when his parents were at home he wasn't allowed in and he could hear "pumping" noises? I understood the implied meaning of this in the dream to be his parents having sex.

      I remember as soon as he calmed down and started to explain his problems I was a lot less tense too, as I hadn't wanted him to get away without an explanation for his previous behaviour at the very least.

      Seems I can't remember any more detail for this dream.

      Dream 2:
      In a square-ish L shape room. The negative shape of the L (so, a smaller square area) was a vertical section of some sort. This looked it was all part of some sort of facility. There was a glass sliding door that would lead into a corridor. Next to the door were many armed guards, standing in a formation, they looked like stormtroopers but some with no helmets on.

      By the glass around the inner part of the L, facing into the vertical section, was a woman. I can't remember what she looked like exactly but I remember something about her breasts being inflated, but then not. She was the DNA source for those clone troopers or something? But I was too or something.

      I remember suggesting an idea to her that perhaps we could change her DNA a bit further, as it was ironic that the troopers were infertile and they couldn't procreate with her. Then I remember saying or thinking something about the fact that she could give birth to our genetically modified humans as a surrogate, rather than them being grown in wherever they were grown.

      There was a lot more detail to this dream, but I've forgotten it.

      Dream 3:
      The last dream, like the rest was quite long but I only remember the last portion... I remember being in a shop, then outside at a pier... I was in Australia or something? I needed to take a boat to Europe or the Middle-East. I remember seeing a world map, but oddly Africa seemed to be missing.

      The boat and some other things looked a bit cartoony somehow. The captain was the owner and they were struggling financially or something so I bought the boat really cheap off him and then I had to get some things ready and then someone else was captain of the boat and I bought it off them again as for some reason it was sinking and buying it stopped it...

      Eventually I got on and there was some sort of transition. I remember seeing the map again.

      The next place, in someone's house. It was like a holiday house that was let to people. I looked around for others but couldn't find anyone. It was day and I could see sunlight come through windows, but the windows themselves looked too bright (nothing but white past them).

      I found some food and drinks, all prepared, for guests like myself, but I didn't take any. I looked around more for someone else and eventually entered this darker, tiny, kitchen. There was a door to the outside and it didn't look so sunny but it was still day. The door was open and there was a woman standing there with a slightly grumpy look on her face. In the kitchen was a man, about my age. He started talking to me and commenting about the house or something, and then all of a sudden he said "oh you've got a bit of a zapper there" or something like that, referring to the fact that he could see my junk poking in my pants, which incidentally were my sweatpants.

      I apologised and said that this just sometimes happened and I couldn't control it (and in fact I expected him to understand since he was a man), but I got the feeling he brought it up more to antagonise his wife or girlfriend standing outside. I took a pair of my compression gloves out of my left pocket and said to him "look, maybe these were also contributing", as my gloves felt quite bulgy inside the pocket previously. Oddly, I can't remember what happened to the gloves, and it's the first time they've appeared in a dream since I've had them.

      Then some transition.

      I was outdoors with this guy. In some city in the US. There was nobody else here initially. I had an interface overlay in my vision, reminded me of the game Boundless and the flooring looked like a specific block-type from the game and I was inspecting it. The floor looked like limestone cobbles. Then he went in a direction and I followed him; he was saying something to me when we got to the top of a slope/stairs bit though I don't remember what. I saw a church and then to its left there was a castle. There were more people here. I remember a couple of cars and a bald man with sunglasses on, inspecting someone's papers.

      The castle bit looked newer, and I asked about it and the guy said they had no old pictures or plans of it so it was rebuilt from imagination or whatever. There was an older castle/church part that had a big glass pane, and inside was a British flag like the one found on planes (the circle with 3 colours). I thought of asking the guy about it but then ended up not and just thought it was interesting.

      Rest of details lost.



      Some notes:
      • The dream with the boy reminds me now a bit of a type of novel that I hear sometimes where someone express their troubles by causing troubles, sometimes at someone else's dear expense.
      • In waking life one neighbour on the other side of the street does sometimes leave their two boys outside, when they're going out, which I don't think is good, and I think this first dream was related to this.
      • I was happy that the boy confessed his troubles as in the dream I then felt like I could do something about it. I think I remember getting on the phone with the police actually, I think when I first grabbed the boy, because I was concerned that his parents were neglecting him.
      • In the second dream there was some residual context from STRAFE, mostly with the layout and stuff like that.
      • The woman wasn't anyone I know in particular nor did she look like anyone I've seen really, but I think she had a ponytail.
      • In the third dream, the guy's presence felt a bit odd all the way throughout. It felt like there was a sinister subtext, although he did seem friendly enough...
      • I might do a bonus image for the second dream, for the layout.




      Scoring:
      + Previous score: 65.5

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 8.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid dream * 3: 3.0
      ++ Help someone in need: 1.0 (the boy; although my tactic was a bit too aggressive, it seemed to get him talking which I think was very important)
      ++ Buy something * 2: 2.0 (the boat, twice...)
      ++ Invent something that's never been heard of before: 2.0 (the DNA altered surrogacy procedure thing)

      = Total score thus far: 73.5
    13. xlvi.

      by , 10-08-2018 at 09:29 AM
      Non-dream stuff - A couple of non-lucid fragments. Had initially woken up at 8 with no dream recall and then slept with the weak intent of dreaming a bit and woke up at 9 with these.



      Fragment 1:
      I remember being in a house, it was well-decorated and it was my house. There was a window to the outside and there were cars passing by but they looked like they were from the 50s.

      There was a woman here and I was talking to her. We were discussing her situation, and the fact that she had no husband. In the dream context I was not in the role of my "self" but of a character, and my dream self had a wife who'd passed away years ago. I was telling this woman how she was "no less of a woman to the Republic for having no husband". In the dream context the Republic referred to the government, as if the Roman empire had lasted up to this point.

      I remember she was sat on a couch which was red, but I don't recall its shape; and I walked around the room as we discussed this issue. I don't remember what either of us were wearing.

      Fragment 2:
      I was walking in a forest. It was definitely Autumn/Fall; though the forest had a lot of canopy which covered from any light, even in a large clearing area I was walking through, there was sunlight and it was orange, as were all the leaves both on the trees and the ground. I distinctly remember the feeling of walking through the leaves with my feet, but do not recall what I was wearing.

      I got up to a little mound and there was a ramp that looked like a bridge that had never been built, there being a tiny bit of road but then a lot of large cobblestone flags scattered around. The stones were very round as those found in lakes and they were a brown-ish colour.

      I went over the mound and on the other side of the bridge thing and there was some sort of metal bin; it was square and again, brown and orange in colour. It was upside down and I tipped it up toward this ramp and I remember either hearing a voice or thinking about it and how it reminded me of a trap you'd set to catch small animals.

      Sure enough, shortly after as I got up to go back the way I came, I saw a rabbit, its fur creamy and brown; I thought it would escape but I got close to it and remarked to it about its cuteness and touched its head, surprised by the fact that the rabbit was allowing me to get that close. As I pet the rabbit it turned almost cartoony with a smile. When I was walking back the way I came, I saw a few more rabbits of the same likeness.

      Fragment 3:
      I remember being at a store, it felt like the store under my childhood home. I was buying 3 or 4 things, though I only remember one of them was a cream soda in a beer-type bottle. I was waiting at the till to pay but nobody was coming, and then two other customers were there waiting too, cramping out the space with little regard for personal space, especially with the shopping, since it's a tiny till.

      Someone came to take our payments but even though I was certain I was there first, she served this other guy first and then me.

      I don't remember the part about paying and etc. I do remember opening the cream soda bottle with my hand (i.e. without a bottle opener, which I'm not confident I'd possibly be able to do), the metal cap feeling soft and not at all sharp when I did it. I poured it into a large glass, like one I have in my kitchen in waking life, and then tasting it; it tasted like fizzy cream soda, but very very weakly so. In the dream I concluded I'd poured water in first, but I doubted this conclusion because I'd emptied the bottle, which would have filled the glass.

      Fragment 4:
      A very odd, short, fragment where I was flipping through a book on perspective and it showed foreshortening using a baby's hands and legs, the next page over being something about rainbow dash and a diagram of anatomical orifices.



      Notes:
      • The sudden appearance of and then noticing of more rabbits is directly related to my waking-life experience of observing animals; usually I won't spot any for a while, but once I spot the first one, spotting all the others becomes much easier and almost accidental.
      • When I woke up, the rabbit reminded me of the competition KarlaB18 is running, because it is the image the fast team has, though a different colour fur.
      • The room in the first fragment felt more like the lobby to a bigger part of the house, but it also felt like a living room, as it mostly had displays and a bust statue or two.
      • When I tasted the cream soda I genuinely felt disappointed by the fact it was so watery. I was strongly expecting a nice creamy flavour in the dream. Now I have a craving for cream soda...



      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous Score: 0.5
      + Recall a non-lucid fragment * 4 (@0.5ea): 2.0
      + Help someone in need: 1.0 (The woman in the first fragment)

      = Total score thus far: 3.5
    14. xxxviii.

      by , 09-16-2018 at 12:08 PM
      Non-dream stuff - A couple of non-lucid dreams, one long one but mostly only remember fragments either way.



      Dream fragment:
      I remember being in my real bathroom, looking in the mirror; there was a crease in my nose, between where the nostrils are. I pressed one of my fingers and it spread apart like it was a nostril, but it didn't go anywhere, but there was a black dot there, like a seed. In waking life now I can still feel the slight impression of the nose being able to split there.

      Dream sequence:
      I was in a tower block with my partner. We were renting a room or something and we put quite a bit of hi-fi and computers in the room. I remember the lights were on, both in the room and in the common halls of the building.

      Another scene, implied to be later, I was standing by a window with my partner and a dream character, a woman about our age. The window was a large flat panel, or perhaps the glass was missing, but either way the hole in the wall was from foot level to ceiling level and rectangular. Outside I could see other apartment buildings, but smaller, between 3-6 stories. Given the height, we were probably on the 8th story of our building, and I had the feeling it was 20 or more in the dream.

      The sky was darkening outside, turning dark orange, and large clouds of orange dust appeared, going up to 6 stories high. The woman asked what the dust was. I said "it's a desert storm". The weather got progressively worse and hurricane-like and my partner mentioned something like "we must be getting the tail of that American tornado". The winds were so strong they blew some of the smaller apartment buildings roofs off and large pieces of concrete and stone were flying around, causing varying amounts of damage. I was not concerned about the building we were in, though it did take some hits from said large pieces of concrete.

      Later me and my partner went down, I think we took an elevator down, but it would only have been a couple of floors, as I remember "feeling" where the room was. I had the impression that there were lots of sandy mountains outside now and that some of it may have caved in to the several lower floors. I remember wondering if we should have paid for some sort of contents insurance, as I had concern for our stuff.

      Some detail is missing here.

      Then I remember another scene where I spoke to a receptionist or something. Then the dream's full context started changing and it started to become something about hunting some sort of unholy creature. I remember the mood colours of the dream went from oranges to cold light blues.



      Some notes:
      • The first dream fragment felt like an obvious "I should have done a RC" moment as soon as I realised I was remembering a dream, and not a vague memory.
      • In the tower block, when we were standing by the window, I only remember looking towards the outside, and I didn't look at either my partner or the DC woman at any point.
      • The "desert storm" was most likely based on the context of tails of desert winds I've seen in the past. If there's a lot of the dust, the sunlight becomes orange.
      • The context for why we were there was never revealed in the dream, but it looked a bit like my native country.
    15. xxxiii.

      by , 09-06-2018 at 11:47 AM
      Non-dream stuff - woke up at around 8:30 with the normal alarm but still fell asleep and woke up again about 2 hours later. Some non-lucid dream fragments from both awakenings persisted.



      Fragment:
      I was in a mountainous area, and there was a town or something. There were rocky overhangs and the landscape looked like something I'd only see in games in general; the stone was mostly all like limestone, which reminds me now of an area in Dark Souls III. It was a bright and clear day.

      I remember fighting some sort of blue dragon, not unlike some of the Rathians in Monster Hunter. It got tired or was scared off and flew away eventually.

      Fragment:
      I remember briefly a subway train station, similar to the last one I've dreamt of, but in no particular way other than how it felt; the lighting was perhaps a bit dim, like the other one. Then a train was arriving and it looked full-ish on some carriages and there were plenty of people on the platform; but I chose to go to a carriage that was not as close to me and it was much emptier.

      The seats were in groups of 5, with their backs toward the windows. The seats were low and sort of cushioned. I was about to sit down when a woman on this row of seats said to me "could you please not sit down on these two", gesticulating at the particular seats; so I sat on the 2nd seat of the row, and she was sat on the 4th. She said something like "I'm sorry" and "... my assessment ...", the implication being it was some sort of benefits assessment. Somehow I knew she had children though they were certainly not here. I'm sure the train had set off at this point but I don't remember noises, come to think of it.

      Fragment:
      I was in some version or another of World of Warcraft and I was in a player group. The group consisted solely of my character, which name I don't remember reading, and another player/character whose character name was simply "Marshal". My character was a warrior, and the other player was another plate-wearing class, maybe a paladin; both characters were human.

      We entered an Arathi Basin battleground together, but a lot of it looked subtly different; I remember both me and the other guy had full grand marshal equipment (which is the highest PvP rank for the Alliance faction), and I had two of the great-swords. We went separate ways but I sort of patrolled on my mount around the central blacksmith (which in the dream was more like a lumber mill) and the gold mine.

      Oddly enough, despite being in a battleground, I don't remember seeing any enemies, though I know that our team was fighting some on the other side of the map.



      Some notes:
      • Subway train stations are one of my most obvious dreamsigns, but I always seem to miss them. Part of it is because I don't expect them to come up, even though they are fairly common, but another part of it is that whenever they do show up, I had not set any sort of intention to recognise them as a dream-sign. They are a dead giveaway of the dream-state these days because I don't use the subway where I live (because there isn't one).
      • I can't remember what the woman in the train looked like exactly; but she looked local to where I live. I remember feeling sorry or perhaps worried for her. Recently a friend of ours had an appointment for an assessment for benefits, so perhaps part of the context here is because of that.
      • I haven't played WoW in quite a while now, and truthfully I don't think I will play it much more in the future; but I played the older versions a lot when I was younger and my dreams about the game are invariably about some sort of nostalgic feeling of those old times.
      • I never attained the highest PvP rank in the classic game, but my eldest sibling nearly did.
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