Alyzarin

No supplements this time, I decided to just go clean and see what happens. I did smoke a little during the day, but not much, and not too soon before going to bed.

#1 - How Did This Become About Aliens? [Non-Lucid]

I was at some house party with JE and JG, among other people who I can't quite recall now, and we were all lying around or sitting on this bed in the dark waiting to each get pizza from JG one at a time, or something really odd like that. When he was calling me to get mine I suddenly realized that I was naked and felt really embarrassed, but it was really dark so I quickly made a grab for my pants and cami which I saw on the ground not too far from me and slipped them on. I went over to JG and got my pizza, like in a personal pan-sized box, and then I decided to head out (and the pizza just kind of disappeared in the process). I was walking to the door and this big dog came up and tried to get outside, but I held it back and went out and just started pacing back and forth in front of the door for R to get there to pick me up. I started anxiously texting him, but then after a minute JG came out to tell me that R was already sitting in the car parked in the driveway, even though when I looked a second later I didn't see anyone there.

I went over and got in the car and, down on the street, this car pulls up and a group of mean looking thugs or something get out. We drive off recklessly, swerving and barely missing obstacles along the way, and eventually we accidentally hit some of the thugs. R (though I'm not sure it's actually him) drives us off quickly so we can get away before they come beat the shit out of us and we end up in some frozen and snowy lake, which was the first sign of this kind of weather in the dream. Suddenly I had a third-person view of the thugs trying to figure out who we are, and they were referring to us as aliens (and I had a mental image of me being a humanoid one, while R or whoever looked like Roger from American Dad!) when someone pointed out that there were just some aliens at JG's house, so they decided to go ask him about us. It flashes back to us now except that it's still in third-person and we've become Robin (Cobie Smulders) and Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) from How I Met Your Mother. I could guess who was supposed to be who but I can't really say for sure, I didn't feel a distinct connection to either since this was all very detached still. Robin was freaking out about the situation but Barney was saying don't you get it? Something had to have started all of this alien business, and it might have been there at that lake. However, before he could really go any further with that thought, I woke up.

#2 - Just An Ordinary Office [DILD]

Something led up to this part of the dream, but the first thing I really remember is when me, Butters from South Park, his dad, a psychiatrist, and a cat all walked into this nice little room that was visibly (through the windows) on the first floor of some building we were in. Butters had some kind of supposed emotional problems that needed discussing, and the psychiatrist started talking about how she had the perfect method to make him feel better. It sounded really deep and caring, until she started saying about how wonderful it would be to do... whatever it was (some form of relaxation or self-expression I think, but it's hard to recall now) "as a lesbian". As she was saying all this, I became lucid. Poor Butters was just starting to get really confused as always, and I start petting the cat who's still walking around the room and laughing my ass off at how ridiculous this is. I started thinking about someone I know in waking life who always has stories about how when something funny happens in one of her dreams she wakes up in a fit of laughter, so it made me a little cautious not to make myself wake up but thankfully that never happened. I started observing everything around me just to stabilize a bit, and I decided to go through this other door in the room (aside from the one we came through) that I perceived as leading to the closet, but I wanted it to lead somewhere else.

I opened the door and there was a hallway in it, and as I turned around and it left my sight while I was closing the door, I willed it to lead to some kind of work office. I'm not sure why I chose this exactly, I guess I just thought it would be more likely to happen since I could easily picture it in the kind of environment I was already in. It worked, and I suddenly felt that I was no longer on the first floor of the building. I walked down and this guy walked past me and smiled at me, so I just kind of smiled back while I was still busy stabilizing, but then I decided I should stop worrying about that and just be confident that the dream will hold itself together for at least a little bit. I turned back around and said hey to the guy and asked if I could see his shirt, just to see what it said. It was one of those things where there are two phrases that each have one word the same and in the image they're combined so that they each end up at that word (or sometimes start from that word, but not this time) and that particular word is only written once, you know? The two things it said were "PUSH IT" and "SHOVE IT", with the 'IT' being at the bottom. The whole thing was made out of craftily placed black and orange borders, and I'm not sure if it would have actually made sense in reality or if it just worked because I only focused on one section of the shirt at a time, but I did think it was pretty cool and I told him so. He got all happy and was like "Isn't it?" or something like that, and then walked off.

I kept walking through the office a bit and came across a few people, a couple guys sitting at desks and a girl just kind of standing around. I walked up to the girl and asked what's up, and she says something like they're just hanging around, and then she asks me if I want to dance. I say sure and we do a dorky little dance for a moment (you know when you like just raise your fists up to your shoulders and barely shake back and forth a bit? ), and then she asks me if I want a piece of paper. I'm like um, sure? And she reaches over and grabs one with something on it from a printer that was sitting next to us. I reached out to take it from her but she pulled it back and started telling me something, and I think it was about something I had to do to get the paper, but the dream started becoming flat and seeming distant, and then it faded away and I woke up.

I thought about trying to fall back asleep and go for more, but I kind of had to go to the bathroom when I woke up and I was already alert enough that I knew that afterward I would be too awake to really have a chance at it, so I just decided to fully get up then.

So, I decided to do another ridiculous supplement test this time. I took 80 mg of melatonin at 9 PM, and I washed it down with thin mints, for good measure. The result was interesting. First of all, my first dream of the night was lucid. That's pretty odd, especially considering the melatonin... not that I really mind. For the rest of the night I noticed that nothing overly trippy happened, except that all of the dream scenes were very, very vivid and had mostly bizarre video game themes. I was also a bit delirious whenever I woke up, which caused me to lose one or two dreams from memory before being able to write them down, so I actually had quite a few dreams this night. And I could've had even more, but I had to wake up early again, so....

#1 - I've Yet To Make This One Work >:T [DILD]

I remember being at a school and walking down a hallway somehow having control over what was playing on the intercom, and I was using it to mess with someone by blasting loud music whenever they started talking. Eventually I got to the class I was walking to and became lucid. I wasn't incredibly aware though, because I kept texting my friend N throughout it, and I can't remember what we were talking about now. At first I just stabilized a bit, and then I kept trying to summon a joint or a pipe into someone's hands so we could smoke, but it never worked. Eventually I just sat down next to one of the guys there and started cuddling with him, but soon afterward I woke up.

And yes, let it be noted that 80 mg of melatonin was not enough to stop me from waking up several times throughout the night.

#2 - Dream Fragment [Non-Lucid]

I think I was playing as a video game character, or maybe meeting one, who was super violent and was accused of attacking someone over one thousand times "outside of battle"...? Or something like that, and I believe there was a scythe involved too, but it's hard to remember exactly.... I almost lost this one, I just barely was able to grab ahold of the memory.

#3 - Bobolo [Non-Lucid]

I was trying to help my cousin K with a school paper based on some kiddie game website called Bobolo that was specifically about some kind of disease or diseases, and I was slowly realizing that this topic wasn't really going to be usable to make a very good paper, but I didn't want to point that out to her because I felt bad that her paper was due the next day. What I remember of the website I could most quickly compare to Maple Story, but I wouldn't say it was exactly like that. There was also some set of medical record scans that I was able to unlock and look at at one point, but I wasn't able to make our what any of them said.

#4 - I Would Definitely Play This Game [Non-Lucid]

I was with my cousin G, who was living at some kind of trailer house I'm unfamiliar with with his immediate family now. We were in his room and I was playing some video game with pretty strange maps. I'm fairly certain that the way I was walking around and the character I was using were based on Phantasy Star Online, but the maps had colored grid squares with area effects that were very clearly (I even remember thinking it at the time) based on geo panels from the Disgaea series. The way the character jumped also reminds me of a Mario game thinking back on it now, but not enough to say it was based on that. I was excited about something on it, but I can't remember what now, and then I logged off and talked to G about watching kids do something pointless (the conversation is pretty hazy in my memory), and then I left the house. I got in my car and started trying to figure out how to get home while blasting some really crazy dubstep song which actually sounded pretty badass, but just as I was starting to find my way the dream faded.

At this point I woke up and, after I got out of my mildly hypnotic state, my libido was running pretty strong. I rolled over and started basically molesting my body pillow for a minute, but I tried to do this passively so the energy would wear off and I could fall asleep again. Eventually I started drifting and had some light hypnagogia, I think of some text or something? I didn't make note of it, so it's hard to remember. And the same with not long after, I rolled over and had more hallucinations, I think it was some kind of ladder pattern running horizontal across my vision, or something... but then my mom came in and woke me up because I have stuff do. Ah, well. Not a bad night.

#1 - The Red Night [Non-Lucid]

I was helping someone, I think it was my old friend S, play a video game where you run around at night looking for stuff and I told him he was near the end. I had him look up into the sky to see if a shimmering star was there and it was, so I told him to stare at it and he was transported to a map where there was a red moon and red and black clouds in the night sky (a possible 11eyes reference?), and he had to fight some enemy wielding either a scythe or some kind of sword, it's hard to remember exactly now....

I have been thinking way too much about scythes too, so this was probably inevitable lol. But can you blame me? They're so sexy.

#2 - Just Like Old Times [Non-Lucid]

I was with my other old friends D and M, who were pretty much best friends until M had to move away in middle school, and I was playing some racing that game that I think I perceived like Mario Kart but was actually on foot. I was just trying to get through these really demented maps that resembled some sort of dark factory combined with the inside of some huge animal. (If you've ever played Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, think the inside of the fish.) Beyond that, all I really remember of the game was that the goal was to save my friends, but I'm not sure who those friends were. I looked over from my bed at one point and saw that D and M had gotten tired and fell asleep on each other, and I thought they looked really cute and was happy they got to hang out again after so long. And that's the last thing I remember before I woke up.

I think I probably could've gone back to bed and had another dream, but we've got company coming over today so I had to get up and clean the house some. Oh well, next time.

I have been completely swamped for the past few days, but I've still been trying to remember my dreams and smoke less before going to bed. So here's what I got from the last four nights.

Feb. 18

I want to say that I took 50 mg of zinc a few hours before bed and 10 mg of melatonin at bedtime for this. I think it was this night....

Almost Like A Lucid.... [Non-Lucid]

This dream was long and I don't remember a lot of the build up to it, but I do recall that around when my memory comes in I had the perception that I was viewing something that had happened earlier in the dream again from a different perspective, like I had gone back in time to watch it. I'm not sure if this event had actually happened earlier or not, but it sure felt like it did. I was standing in front of a building in some downtown area watching a crowd of people walk through the front doors, and among them was the past me. I also saw this girl walking not too far from me and decided to possess her, but she got into the building before I could get up to her. I easily rewound time and caught her before she went in again and entered her body. Then I just kept walking into the building to see what all the fuss was about. The inside looked just like some kind of mini-mart like a 7-Eleven but maybe just a little bit fancier. As I walked around I started thinking about some imaginary superhero story I was apparently making, specifically in relation to the villain. I had an idea about how to start them out with something like mind reading or telepathy and move it up to body possession through some kind of power increase, but I can't remember exactly what it was now. At that point the dream became a little less vivid and I shot forward through the wall (smoothly phased) and started flying over the field I was next to, since this place was now a stop on a highway out in the middle of nowhere, and as I was admiring it I woke up.

Feb. 19

I'm fairly certain I took a 10 mg melatonin here, too.

#1 - I'm Sure He Can Handle It [Non-Lucid]

I was hanging out with my friend N when we somehow became aware of the fact that our mutual friend R (who I met N through) had been taken hostage somewhere. We were in a house that I believe somewhat resembles my aunt and uncles' old house from like fifteen years ago, but I barely remember it. I decided to call his cell phone to see if he could pick up, but his voice message had been changed to some guy with a really heavy British accent talking about how we had reached some kind of game development company or something. I tell N that he must have been taken hostage by British criminals who had changed his message so that they could pretend to be a legit company and no one would know to save him, and that we have to go rescue him right away, but added that "I still have a class to go to today. " I turned my head and saw a TV with a commercial playing in the corner of the room. The audio to it was talking about something along the lines of making your own robot, but all the video was showing was a guy wrapping himself in plastic and trying to mold it to make armor out of it. I instantly feel that R might've seen this commercial too and had the same idea, and so he may already have been able to escape on his own.

#2 - Lucid Dreaming Tutorial [Non-Lucid]

The main thing I remember about this dream is walking around the park by my house with my mom and coming across these kids, like three or four boys around eight to ten years old if I remember correctly. They asked me how to fly in a lucid dream so I showed them, though I did something totally different than I actually do in a lucid (which this was not), which was like this multiple jumping thing kind of like in a Mario game. Despite thinking that this was my normal routine, I could tell that it felt really odd as I was doing it, though I didn't know why. However, I still did manage to fly, but they didn't quite understand my method. I just told them I'd see them again some time and teach them more later on, because I guess I was busy at the moment.

#3 - Dream Fragment [Non-Lucid]

I was giving someone recommendations and tips about which Nippon Ichi Software game to play.

Feb. 20

Poor Judgment Calls [Non-Lucid]

I didn't actually write this one down, so my memory of it is kind of faint now. Basically what I remember is that first I was at my house with my cousin K, then something involving Marona from Phantom Brave happened (I think she might have been my cousin at first that turned into her?), and then I was with JB, this guy I used to hang out with who was pretty sociopathic. We were in my room and my parents kept bothering us, and we were trying to get them to leave us alone so we could have sex (eep ). We never got them to go away before I woke up, though.

Feb. 21

#1 - I Wonder What It Was.... [Non-Lucid]

The part of this dream before my recall really kicks in was at a store, but that's about all I can remember about it. What I do remember is being at a family party at my house, and everyone was gathered in the living room to congratulate this guy I don't recognize for doing something.... I'm not sure what it was, but I know that I felt that either I deserved it or at least he didn't deserve it, or something along those lines. I was being sort of rude and went to the kitchen to sulk alone because I couldn't stand to be in the room for all that, but at one point the guy came in and tried to make me feel better and I started just trying to get over it. My cousin A walked in and started saying something about these bowls of grapes and cherry tomatoes that were sitting on the counter by me and managed to squeeze some open and wear them on the tips of her fingers just to be funny, and then they sort of just absorbed into her fingertips and disappeared and she left. >___> I turned around and my friend M's mom was there too, for some reason (it didn't even look like her, I just perceived that that's who she was). She started telling me about where she grew up, but I don't recall anything she was saying. The dream sort of shifted as it was falling apart, and I got a third-person flash of a Facebook page where someone was telling this girl A that I met recently that she was beautiful and an inspiration to everyone, and then I woke up.

#2 - If Only This Worked In Real Life [Non-Lucid]

I was driving around with some random guy and Linkzelda, and I was trying to show the guy how to get to our imaginary school campus by following Link's directions. At one point we parked and me and the random guy got out of the car at this apartment complex, and this guy who I somehow immediately knew was Jewish came up to us begging for help. He had a gun and said he had run out of bullets for it and was being chased by a group of people, and there was some situation with more guns in an apartment upstairs. The guy that we were showing the campus decided to be a hero and ran off to that upstairs place, and the Jewish guy ran off frightened as he saw the group of people coming after him again. At that moment I realized that they might see me if I'm not careful, so I started whispering to myself "I'm not here, I'm not here...." and getting into a meditative state. I dropped the perception of my body and started floating up away from the scene, but then I looked down at one of the guys running by and got sucked into his body. The dream jumped around a little and I was in some hazy perception of something about a guy and some really attractive woman with guns, but it's so blurry that I can't really recall what was going on now.... And that's the last thing that happened before I woke up.

Final thoughts.... I'm noticing a definite increase in the amount of dream control techniques I employ in non-lucids these days. And it's not just from the examples shown here, it's been happening more and more lately. I wonder if it's because of the way I try to drop awareness in lucids anyway and just run with it; maybe I simply recognize the similar state of mind and use it without acknowledging what it implies?

I couldn't resist coming back just to post this quick little entry. Number 100!!

Catch Me If You Can [DILD]

I didn't make too much of an effort to remember the pre-lucid part of this dream, but what I do recall is that I was looking at multiple crazy new colleges with my old high school friend N, and he was interested in one specifically where there was this big paintball arena. Actually, I think he went from wanting to be in it to actually already being enrolled there, because he got to go into the arena while I had to wait outside (not that I had any burning desire to play paintball). However, around this time I became lucid and decided to see what the arena was like. All I knew of it so far was that it was totally inside and just set up like a maze with tall walls you couldn't see over that you had to find your way around in, and it was totally inside but there was plenty of lighting since the ceiling was still far above the walls. I started moving forward to phase through the wall into the arena and I was reminded of a discussion I've been in recently. I noticed that I was vividly aware of the solidity of the wall in front of me, but I was still able to drop that awareness willingly and pass through it without any trouble. As I did so, as opposed to normal how my perception just kind of blips, the entire wall was slowly decomposed into lines that disappeared as I fully got from one side to the other, and it was actually really cool, there were even little sound effects for it. This whole situation made me think back to this hacked character my cousin and I created on Super Smash Bros. Melee years ago, with a code that made it so that by pressing different button combinations you could activate or deactivate the collision detection for any map, and in combination with an infinite jumps code (to prevent you from just falling straight through the map to your death) you could basically hide in certain parts of the map until someone came by and you would jump out to attack them. I started acting off of the same concept in the dream. I would phase into a wall and wait there until a paintballer or two came by and then I would come out when they weren't looking and confuse them by running off and then phasing into another wall before they caught me. I was just having fun messing with them, but I allowed myself to stand totally still in one of the walls for too long and the dream sort of phased out and I lost lucidity. The dream briefly restabilized with me parked on the side of the rode somewhere with my car acting really weird and uncontrollable. I can't remember exactly all what went down, just that I got out of the car to look at it and suddenly realized that I was naked, and then I saw that there was another car full of people parked nearby who could just see me standing there totally clueless and I felt embarrassed. And I think that's the last thing that happened before I woke up.

And that's that.