lucid

This lucid is from the morning of 5/16/2014.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #210: Low Altitude Superman

I’m standing in a slow-moving line at a bank. The guy in front of me is getting agitated and he starts screaming at the teller to “Hurry it up!” He gesticulates wildly and shrieks “Goddamn!” I start getting a little stressed, thinking this could turn into a situation. I vaguely hope that it’s all a dream and lucky me, it is!

The angry man seems to calm down and I wander outside through a set of automatic doors. It’s nighttime and I’m in standing in a covered, circular entrance driveway like you might find in front of some hospitals and hotels.

I boast to the nearby DCs that “this is a lucid dream” and then start flying. I hover about two feet off of the ground, barely moving. I punch my fist forward Superman-style, hoping that this will somehow cause something awesome to happen because these DCs don’t seem especially impressed.

My speed starts really picking up and soon I’m rocketing around the circular drive at knee height. This tends to freak the DCs out as I get close. I zoom around, faster and faster, seeing how far I can push my speed. I have a great time with this until the dream ends.

I managed to hit another Task of the Year item! This one's from the morning of 5/11/2014.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #209: Aladdin

I’m standing on a long stone pathway that cuts through the middle of a vast lake. People pass by me on either side, and as I watch them go, I think about my intent to have a lucid dream. It quickly dawns on me that one has just begun.

I look out over the lake,.seeing numerous Greek-styled marble columns sticking up out of the water. I take flight to get a better view of the water and it’s just as striking from higher up. I go up and up, preparing for some peaceful exploration, but I accidentally cut through some low cloud cover and lose sight of the lake. A flock of birds crosses in front of me and for no discernible reason, the frame rate of the dream briefly dips. I’m briefly amused that my brain seemed to have had trouble with that relatively simple scene.

I head back down through the cloud cover, regaining sight of the lake. I fly lower, studying DCs as I go. All of the flight finally reminds me of the Aladdin Task of the Year, and I land, mentally gathering the details of what I’m supposed to do.

First, summon that lamp. I try several behind the back summons, but I keep botching them. This is annoying me a bit, but I finally manage to get the sense of an object in my hand even though I can’t see it. I wiggle my fingers a bit like a magician and the lamp “paints” itself in from top to bottom as I watch.

I make my wish for a magic carpet, and immediately one scoops me up from underneath. I remember my first attempt at this task and again ask the lamp for a “delicious cookie”. Right away a cookie appears in my left hand and I don’t hesitate before cramming it in my mouth. It’s really good! The chocolate chips are just a little small for the “perfect cookie” but it’s still excellent.



I’m apparently stuck on a “delicious food” theme so I immediately wish for “delicious hot chocolate”. I bring my hand back into view to find it holding a china cup full of hot chocolate. I guzzle it down. It’s way colder than it should be and there are odd clumpy patches in it like it didn’t mix well, but still tasty. Okay, done!

I continue flying the carpet for a bit, staying about 10 feet off the ground. I come to a section that looks like the exit to an amusement park. There’s a woman waving goodbye to me and the other people as we leave. I don’t get much further before the dream ends.

This lucid is from the morning of 5/11/2014.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #208: Carnival Chain

I have a false awakening where Wife is bustling about the room getting ready for something. I’m groggy and not seeing anything too well, but I follow her as she heads out the door. There’s some kind of event that we’re supposed to be getting ready for, but I have no memory of what it is. I do remember wanting to have a lucid dream, though, so I feel frustrated that I’m expected to get up.

I follow Wife for a bit and suddenly we’re outside by some docks. She’s dressed in a white sundress that I’ve never seen her in before, holding hands with our two children “E” and “R”. She looks beautiful. I wish that I could go with them but I’m almost too tired to move.

I tell her that I’m going back to bed, which she seems to accept. Somehow I stagger back to the bed and as soon as my head hits the pillow, I attempt to WILD. Right away I get the sense of motion and I can’t believe how quickly it’s working. I go with the momentum and experience a moment of massive acceleration before emerging in a mid-morning carnival scene that I know is a dream.

I’m not pleased with the vividness of the scene, so I rub my hands together and then stare at them, trying to draw out as much detail as I can. It takes a few frustrating moments but finally fine details start to emerge. One oddity is that my hands are covered with cuts and scrapes like I’ve been fighting or working with something sharp.

As the scene comes into better focus, I see that Wife is walking here with me at the carnival. We pass a sandwich vendor who stops us and begins an emphatic explanation of what it takes to make the turkey sandwich. He says that the “traditional” sandwich of “turkey on a donut” is outdated and that rye bread is the wave of the future. It sounds crazy to me, but I try to grasp the details, hoping for some flash of insight. It never comes, though, and the dream fades.

I hold on for DEILD, and in a few seconds I’m back in the carnival scene. I take a few steps but something seems to be stuck in my throat. I try to sort of gag and clear my throat, but it’s still there. I feel like there’s some kind of waking life problem and remember that I’m sleeping on my stomach. I have this vision of the pillow pressing on my throat and in a few seconds, I’m out of the dream.

I flop onto my side, get ready for DEILD, and re-enter the carnival scene a few seconds later. Wife’s here with me again, and says something flirtatious. I’m feeling very interested, so we make out for a bit before getting down to some sexytime. I’ll spare the details here, but it's interesting that after the "festivities" the dream continues long enough for us to wander around the carnival a bit more.

Finally the dream breaks, and I DEILD in one last time to the same carnival scene. Wife and I pass by a carnival barker who’s inviting passerby to try out the “lucidity machine”, a large, boxy contraption that he says is guaranteed to make you have a lucid dream for only “4 quarters”.

I encourage Wife to try this out. “But you’re already having a lucid dream,” she replies.

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Four quarters seems kind of expensive.”

“It’s not real money,” I tell her. “Please just try it.”

I’m exasperated by all of this. Wife shakes her head and continues to skeptically study the device as the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #207: Christmas in April

I’ve joined up with a bunch of other people and rented a blue-carpeted condominium. There bedroom of this condominium houses the entrance to a vast cave system and we crawl downward to explore it. I have to do sort of a funky sideways roll to slip under the entrance.

The cave’s well-lit, but I start feeling claustrophobic. I turn back to make sure that I can easily get out and I’m shocked to find that when I execute my little sideways roll to escape, that I just barely make it out. This means that in only a few seconds, the entrance has gotten shorter! I warn the others that the entrance is closing but they ignore me.

I relax against the wall and for some reason start imagining that my hands are moving. I’m surprised to see my hands really are moving. I can’t believe how vivid my imagination is and I think If my imagination is this good, it’s like being able to lucid dream any time I want! And then it occurs to me that I’m dreaming right now.

I dig my fingers into the thick, blue carpet for a moment and then stand up, rubbing my hands and arms together. I move slowly, relaxing and letting the dream continue as I explore the apartment. I move through a total of four rooms, studying the layout and furniture of each as I pass. I recognize the den from the non-lucid portion of the dream and it’s almost entirely unchanged from before. I walk a quick circle around the wooden coffee table, confirming that the scene and all of its contents are unusually stable.

It concerns me that I seem to be stuck in just one type of scene so I move for the wall and phase through it. The phase is quick and I end up outside at night in the front yard of my house. I try to remember goals, but they just won’t come. I really focus on this for a moment but I feel the dream starting to wobble and destabilize. Back to some arm-rubbing, and I forget goals for now.

I look west down the street. Everything looks realistic but it’s way too dark. I turn around, think There’s some light behind me, and then spin back around to face west again. About two blocks down, I spy a lone Christmas tree festooned with lights. I’m pleased by this, and I try to just let this idea flow. Soon there are lit Christmas trees in front yards all up and down the street. Looks like my darkness problems are solved.

I head west to the end of the block then turn south. It looks like my street for a bit but as I continue it transitions into something more like a crowded outdoor mall. DCs bustle back and forth, and just as I’m passing a wooden bench and a free-standing sign that looks like a mall directory, I see a teenage boy and a smaller kid of about 8 (his little brother?) walking past. The older brother tells the younger, “Don’t worry about them. All these people have never done a goddamn thing for you.”

Again I get the desire to remember my goals. This time I really push for them. I dig too deep, though, lose focus on the dream, and am too late to save it before it ends.

Finally on the board for Task of the Year 2014!!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #206: The Giant Killer

I sense a transition into the dream state, but just as it begins I hear our dogs start barking downstairs. Wife stirs in the bed next to me and I wonder how much of this is pure dream and how much of it might be sounds and sensations from waking life bleeding over.

I will myself to roll out of bed OBE-style and I decide to phase downstairs to see what the dogs are on about. I pass through walls and the floor like a ghost and I think to myself that “I’m spirit walking.”

I pass through one last set of walls and the geometry gets weird for a moment and I wonder if I’m losing this dream. I rake my fingers across the floor but I pass right through. Still, it seems to bring me back into the experience and there in front of me are our 2 dogs laying on the floor panting.

Their food and water bowls both lay empty and I figure that’s what they were making a fuss about. Even though I’m still floating like a ghost, I’m able to grab the water bowl and sling it across the room and it clangs realistically against the floor. I consider asking Wife the next morning if she heard any of this commotion.

I head out into the garage, walking like normal now. Rather than phase, for some reason I lift the garage door manually and walk out into the night. I move past the circular driveway to the grass, thinking of the Jack and the Beanstalk Task of the Year. I dig a quick hole and everything’s feeling very vivid now. I do a behind-the-back summon of a seed which feels very half-hearted but fortunately still does yield a tiny seed. I quickly cover it over with dirt.

For water I move my hands in a little sprinkling motion over the little mound and a few drops of “rain” fall. The plant immediately springs up through the ground and stretches skyward. It looks like a normal vine at first but as it continues up it looks more like a twisting rope bridge that goes all the way up into the clouds.



I grab the lower rung and start hauling myself up but I feel like I’m getting nowhere and won’t ever be able to tackle all that distance. I decide that the planks are being reeled in from above and are pulling me up toward the clouds. It works! In a couple of spots the planks twist and turn oddly as if they’re trying to throw me off, but I ignore this and before long I’m at the top! I float up over the edge into what looks like a restaurant that’s being prepared for a party.

Two women standing nearby appear to be in charge of the scurrying wait staff. One of the women, an attractive lady in her early 40s, looks up at me as I walk nearby. She has a streak of her short brown hair bleached almost white. My task is the defeat the giant that lives up here, so I ask, “Where’s the giant?” She points behind me and to my left.

When I turn, there’s a guy roughly 9-10 feet tall walking through the door of the restaurant. He’s mid-40s with dark hair and a thick, barrel-chested build. “So you’re the giant?” I ask leadingly.



“That’s right,” he says and immediately takes a swing at me. His punch catches me square in the face but I decide that it will have no effect. I wind up not feeling anything or even falling back and it kind of feels like cheating. I strike at the man, trying what I for some reason think is a “kidney punch” but actually hit him in the side of the gut. He winces a bit but doesn’t move much.

I follow this up with a kick to the body and the giant clutches at his chest. I feel like this is working but I become paranoid about losing the dream, so I leap up and grab onto the giant’s face. I try to do this thing where I burn him with my hands but it completely fails. The failure makes me kind of vicious and desperate, so I gouge at his left eye with my right thumb and then strike him on the neck with my forearm. He collapses hard to the ground and I go with him. As I’m picking myself up to see what’s next, the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #205: Beer Goggles

My friend “Leroy” and I are hosting a meeting at a hotel. We’re there to meet with another company for merger talks and we’ve got a table of breakfast food laid out for the attendees. A bunch of other random people are having breakfast here, though, and have stolen a bunch of our yogurts. Leroy runs past these tables and grabs the yogurts back before sprinting off toward the meeting in the nearby bar. I think this is pretty awesome and get a good laugh out of it.

When we get to the bar and sit down with the other company, I realize that it’s lots of people I know from different areas of my life. This strikes me as strange, and when I consider my situation, I realize that I’m dreaming.

I spend a little bit of time conversing with the people at the table, just out of curiosity as to how they’ll react. I talk to SK for a moment and then to a younger version of SC who is now sporting a mustache. They all seem to be aware that this is a dream and don’t try to fool or convince me otherwise.

I leave the table and think that I should use the opportunity to try a drink. As I pass a waiter I say, “Sir, give me a beer,” and he immediately complies. I take a swig, but it’s sort of gross, like flat mineral water. For some reason I decide to dump the rest over my face. It feels cold, realistic, and super invigorating! There also seems to be an unlimited supply, because it just keeps pouring and pouring. The effect is awesome because it’ll occasionally even cross my vision and make everything look all watery-looking.

I head for the exit, a huge, ornate wooden door with an iron ring for a handle. I pull it open (with some effort) and then do this again at a second huge wooden door. Now I’m out on the street in the daytime, pouring “beer” over my face and looking at the passerby. It’s a beautiful day out and I just enjoy the sunshine and presence of the DCs.

An attractive Asian woman in a two-piece swimsuit approaches from down the street, but as she walks by closer to where I’m standing she morphs into a guy walking around in shorts and a t-shirt. “Hey, you were a woman just a second ago!”

“That’s right,” he says. “Do you want me to change back?”

“Yeah, change back!” At this, he leans over, grabs the back of his t-shirt and seems to kind of struggle with pulling it over his head. And as he emerges, “he” is back to female form again. I’m super amused by this and I cheer at the trick. She seems really flattered and pleased by my reaction and laughs before walking away.

This whole time I’ve continued pouring beer over my face and I look up at the bottle to see that it’s really small now, about the size of a thimble. It still pours just fine, though, but I don’t have long before the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #204: Ozone

I’m sitting at a craft table with three other people: a guy in his late 20s (“Guy”), a woman in her 30s (“Lady”), and a crazy-looking woman in her mid-40s (“Crazy Lady”). Crazy Lady keeps talking to herself and acting disturbed as she works on her project.

Lady gets the bright idea to tell Crazy Lady that Guy has a prize for her. “If you get all your work done, maybe he’ll give it to you.” Crazy Lady keeps asking what the prize is, becoming more and more fixated on this prize until she gets out of her chair and approaches Guy. I have a feeling that something awful’s going to happen but that I can’t stop it.

Spoiler for Unpleasantness:

I see a pair of dirty scissors flash in Crazy Lady’s hand. She gouges them into the side of Guy’s neck and then grinds the thick, dull blade across his throat. Blood everywhere. Guy collapses to the ground.

Crazy Lady disappears from the scene as Lady and I rush to help Guy. Now I’m on the phone with emergency services begging them to come help us. They sound very unhurried and tell me that the wait will be “about 30 minutes”. I’m stressed out that they’re going to take so long but I hope they know what they’re doing. I nose pinch reality check in the hope that this isn’t real, and when I blow throuigh I think, No way am I so lucky that this is all a dream. I confirm with a second nose pinch, that yes, I’m dreaming!

Guy and Lady both disappear from the scene and I’m left along in an empty classroom. I wander outside into a misty nighttime street scene. I feel happiness and contentment to have escaped a nightmare and I peacefully explore the environment.

The bricks on the side of the building fascinate me first, and I bring my vision right up close to them. No matter how close I get, my eyes never lose focus. I seem to be able to look further and further in, zooming into every crack and imperfection. My fingers explore the moist bricks and it’s like I can sense each individual drop of moisture with my fingertips.

I suddenly give the wall a huge sniff. It feels invigorating and seems to bring the scene even more fully to life. I sense moisture and a sharp whiff of ozone when I do this, just like what you might smell after heavy rain.

There are a few DCs hanging around nearby, talking softly about something I can’t make out. I approach one of them, a brown-haired guy that’s facing away from me, and examine his hair and scalp up close. I’m fascinated how I can see down to the individual hairs on his head. The DCs’ conversation ceases as I do this and it feels like I hit pause on what they were saying.

I take another huge sniff, this time of the guy’s scalp. It just smells like a bunch of hair. I laugh self-consciously at what a creepy thing this is to do. Fortunately the DC doesn’t react. I walk onward now through the misty night toward a short stone bridge that runs over some unknown river or creek. Before I cross it, the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #203: Mirror Mockery

I’m at the top of an old, wooden tower, looking out over a dirt road and nearby farmland. I’m pursuing someone, some criminal that I need to catch and confront. I climb down from the tower, and as I make my way down, I notice that night’s falling much too fast and I become lucid.

Something still compels me to find this man I was trying to catch. I have this sense that he’s nearby but that I’ve got some ground to cover, so I think about the idea of commandeering a car. Off in the distance I see a horse-drawn chariot thundering down a dirt road, the driver leaned forward and furiously whipping the four horses at the chariot’s front.

I try to catch up to the chariot on foot to take it over but it’s not even close. The thought of teleporting to it doesn’t occur to me until it’s too late. The whole idea of going after the criminal I was looking for starts feeling like a lot of trouble, so I walk past a nearby farmhouse and somehow enter a room in a fairly large wooden structure with a lot of people milling around.

I’m interested in the DCs at first but I see a pair of mirrors hanging on the wall to my left and stop to check them out. I notice that I’m shirtless as well as totally buff so I start hitting some poses in the mirror. I’m overcome with vanity and just keep doing this for a while.

After a bit, I see in the reflection an extremely fit woman walk right up next to me and also stare at the mirror. She’s short with curly brown hair and she’s in fitness model shape. She briefly looks at me and then back at the mirror before striking a series of exaggerated flexing poses that poke fun at what I’m doing and how silly I look doing it. I start laughing at this and she grins back at me.

I feel somewhat attracted to her but nah, let that go. She walks away and I then begin studying the roomful of DCs. My friend “Leroy” is there directly in front of me, and I take a moment to study how realistic he looks. I don’t seem to have his attention so I don’t take the time to speak with him, but I note how lifelike his appearance is.

I look at the other DCs for a bit, turning my gaze here and there around the room until the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #202: Hoodie

I’m crossing a dark street, wearing a hoodie, sneaking around, and trying to keep a low profile. Three tough-looking young thugs seem to notice me and start walking in my direction. I turn away, not sure that I’ve been spotted, and draw my hoodie further over my head. As I’m doing this, I realize that this has to be a dream.

Somehow the hoodie is badly constricting my vision to the point where I’m now just looking out through a tiny little tunnel. I look behind me and only one of the thugs is still there, but now he’s really coming for me. I start walking away, trying to gather my wits well enough to ignore him.

My vision keeps getting smaller and smaller, which annoys me and stresses me out. To my surprise, the thug starts singing, and his voice is deep, rich, and melodious. He repeatedly sings: “This ain’t the way my game goes…”

He’s right up on me now, so I turn toward him and force-push him off. He makes a sound like “Whuf!” and seems to fly backward just as the last of my vision shrinks to the void. I feel myself falling forward to where the street should be, but I go through, and after a moment of strange acceleration downward, I’m awake.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #201: Copilot

I’m standing in a brightly lit cafe near the serving counter. There’s a row of three toilets placed directly next to a huge window that looks out onto a shopping mall. In spite of the people passing by just a couple feet away from the window, I decide that I need to sit down on one of these toilets.

As I’m sitting there I realize that I don’t really need to go after all. I wonder why I am even sitting on this toilet publicly embarrassing myself. Some kid, a boy of about 9 or 10, sits on the toilet next to me and starts talking to me about something. I don’t relish the idea of having a conversation while seated this way so I get up to leave (not having “accomplished” anything.) The kid gets up as well and I see that he’s left a horrible, putrid mess in his toilet.

He points to the awfulness he left in the toilet and tells me, “Eww, you did that!” I sputter with indignation and outrage until it occurs to me that this has to be a dream.

The kid disappears and I spend a moment taking in the scene. From behind the cafe’s counter, a guy in a paper chef hat stares back at me. I look to the left and see a staircase leading down, with a man in his early 40s standing at the bottom.

I decide to try teleporting by taking over the man’s perspective and it works almost instantly! Now I’m viewing the same scene from the bottom of the stairs. I run up, wondering if I’ll see another version of myself or the man I switched with, but there’s nobody there now.

I see my 4-year-old son E standing nearby at a table and walk up to him. “Hey, buddy!” I say, and walk with him out into the mall. We’re on the second floor walkway and across a sort of interior courtyard I see an atrium with a beautiful skylight. Daylight pours in through the glass and I think it looks like a great flying spot.

I scoop E up in my arms and he feels realistically heavy. He drapes his hands around my neck more lightly than he would in waking life but the grip seems firm enough to get started. I take to the air, flying with him over the balcony railing. The flight feels very floaty, like something that’d happen in zero gravity. E’s legs float out to the side and I realize that I’ve lost the feeling of his weight.

For some reason we’re drifting away from the skylight toward another section of the mall. I make a hard right turn, dragging E behind me, and we begin to travel down a darker, previously unseen corridor. Before we make it very far this way, the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #200: Runway

I’m walking out through the exit of an airport when I realize that I’ve left my cell phone inside, possibly on the plane. I want to turn back to get it but I’m feeling disoriented and can’t find my way back inside.

Now I’m walking along the runway as planes taxi back and forth around me. I know that this is a bad idea but I can’t figure out what else I’m supposed to do and I wonder why they make airports so confusing. A plane rolls by on my right, uncomfortably close, and as I cringe away from it, I realize that this is all a dream.

Calmer now, I walk along the runway toward an odd series of doors set into a metal frame. The frame’s set up right next to a long patch of grass and seems to lead nowhere, but when I walk through one of the doors, now I’m standing in the lobby of an ornate hotel.

There’s a fancy, circular bench covered in some sort of red pillowtop. I walk around it to the foot of a grand staircase. For some reason I decide not to go up and I walk down a hallway around the side of the stairway. I realize that a group of people including my cousin SU is following close behind me. I don’t turn to address them but instead continue on slowly and deliberately, enjoying the vivid, stable feel of the dream.

I come to a large glass window and I move toward it to phase. As I approach, I vividly see the reflections of SU and the 2-3 others behind me. I take the phase slowly, marvelling at the detail of not only the reflections behind me but the sensations of the phase itself. The glass feels like a cool, insubstantial liquid as I pass through it.

I make my way into a busy, two-floor restaurant. It’s a fancy place and I stop to study it. I notice that the waitstaff is all women in their late 20s or early 30s wearing a long brown ponytail.

I remember some snatch of an earlier Task of the Month that I think has something to do with wearing green. As I recall this, all of the waitresses turn to look at me for a moment, all of them now dressed in green pants and a white dress shirt. I notice no transition to the green pants. It’s just as if this is what they’ve been wearing the entire time. I know that I’m not remembering anything relevant about any task, so I let it go and the waitresses turn their attention back to the other DCs in the restaurant.

I walk up the carpeted stairway to another row of tables full of nicely dressed DCs enjoying dinner. It doesn’t look like there’s a free table in the whole place. I walk along for a bit, wanting to explore further, but the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #199: 1985

I’m hanging out with my friends “Leroy”, “Captain Kirk”, and “R” in a hotel room. I’m explaining to them that if we all think of the same time period at once, we’ll begin a shared dream that transports us to that time.

“Think of 1985!” I cry excitedly. Everyone gets a look of concentration on their faces and I become lucid as a “shared dream” of 1985 begins.

I spy a bin full of socks nearby. “Everyone wear their socks like they did in 1985!” I say, and everyone grabs a pair of long socks and pulls them all the way up. (I don’t think people really wore their socks this way in 1985, but oh well.)

I yank my socks up to knee height. “It’s hip to be square,” I say, and the DCs laugh at my awkward 80s reference. For some reason I think this is hilarious, and Hip to Be Square starts playing faintly in the background. (Not released until 1986! )



We walk outside of the hotel room to a nighttime scene at a gas station. “Captain Kirk” points toward a nearby Bronco at a refueling station and says, “We need to put some gas in the car.” We all walk over there and he starts filling up the tank. (I don’t recall him paying in advance with a credit card.)

Leroy suddenly looks worried and says, “We lost [The Schwartz]!” (“The Schwartz” is another friend who hasn’t yet appeared in this scene.) I have a false memory of The Schwartz being in our group earlier and think we’ve lost him. I know that the disappearance of a DC isn’t anything to get worried about, but I agree that we should look for him.

There’s a brick building nearby. Leroy and I enter it through a metal doorway and we wind up in a huge room that’s clearly bigger than the building itself. It looks like some kind of trap-filled dungeon, complete with a large pit of bloody spikes and stone walls lined with torches. On a ledge maybe fifteen feet above, we see The Schwartz gripping a rope and preparing to swing across the pit like Tarzan.

I’m still aware that this is a dream, but I’m not sure that I want to see how this plays out. Leroy and I implore the Schwartz to come down from the ledge and not go swinging over a pit of dream-spikes. Noticing us for the first time, he waves down to us. The dream ends shortly after.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #198: The Egg

I’m standing in a sparse building that looks like a cleared-out convenience store. Wife’s standing about fifteen feet away, singing expressively to the room. I’m behind a high countertop staring with little comprehension at a strange deck of cards, wondering how I’m supposed to play with them. The thought of dreaming crosses my mind and I become lucid.

Slightly taken aback at the plunge into lucidity, I try to remember April’s Task of the Month. The actual task is to look inside an Easter egg, but I remember it as “give an egg to a DC”.

I walk up to Wife, reach behind my back, and say, “Hey, [Wife]! Here’s an egg.” I produce a plain white egg and place it into her left hand, feeling smugly satisfied at this “flawless execution”. Wife stops singing and glares at me, slightly shaking her head. She looks pissed and her expression seems to ask me What the hell are you doing?

Then with one swift motion, she smashes the egg all over her right shoulder. A gush of yolk and snotty-looking egg white flows down her arm. After another couple seconds of staring daggers at me, she turns her attention away, smiles, and returns to singing.

I return to my spot behind the counter, curious again about the playing cards. They’re now face down in three separate piles. I turn a few over, but the symbols are indecipherable to me.

Giving up on this, I wander into an adjacent room. It looks like a small basement with one high window along the wall. There’s also a wide hole near the top of one wall that looks like I could crawl through. I begin hoisting myself up to explore it, but the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #197: The King

It's modern times, and I’m the king of a small nation. I’m sharing a smallish hotel suite with several royal guests. A few of the royal guests in the adjoining room are very upset with me about something and I’m pacing the room, dreading that I have to talk the issue over with them.

I inspect one of the hotel desks and see two narrow drawers. Somehow I realize that the drawer on the left contains a picture of the girl that my son E (who I think is a prince) is engaged to. I open the drawer and see that the future princess is a cute girl in her late teens with long brown hair. I think for a moment how odd this pairing is since my son is only 4 years old. I struggle with this for a moment, thinking I’ve forgotten my son’s age, until I realize that I’m dreaming.

I walk into an adjacent room where I think my kids are sleeping. There’s a crib here but instead of a child, the crib contains my friend R (who appeared in a few of my early lucids way back when). R is squatting in the crib, not doing much of anything, so I grab him under the armpits and hoist him out of the crib. I tell him that I’m having a lucid dream and that I hope he’s having one too (or maybe that I just hope he’s having a lot of them recently.)

He walks back to the main part of the hotel room with me, briefly exploring the kitchen area, before we turn toward a large picture window overlooking a lake. I invite him to come fly out over the lake with me, but he seems hesitant and apprehensive. He remarks that he doesn’t think he’s got the skills to pull this off.

I say some reassuring words, and when I turn back to the big picture window, the scene has changed from a lake to a large office filled with cubicles. There’s a woman with long, dark hair and glasses working quietly at a desk, and when she looks up to see us seems completely astonished.

The change is a surprise to me, so I decide to head out the other way from the hotel room. I don’t press the issue with R and let him just hang out in the hotel room. The hotel room exit takes me into a library with a high ceiling. I take advantage of the ceiling space by flying around. I help myself navigate around the room by pointing where I want to go, and it works great!

After a moment I remember that I need to pursue my goals, so I land and make an attempt at the Jack and the Beanstalk Task of the Year. I produce a seed from behind the back and then plunge my hands into the industrial carpet of the library floor. I find that I can dig it up easily and all these little chunks of foam pop out of the hole I leave behind. I use them to cover the seed back up and start thinking about how I should water it to help it grow.

As I’m thinking my way through this, the scene goes dark and I feel myself lying in bed. I’m super hopeful that it’s just a false awakening, and I even hit the nose pinch. Too bad -- I’m awake!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #196: Wonderful Distractions

I’m lying on my side anticipating a lucid dream. I sense the transition into a dream, but my dream body is lying on its side in the same position as my waking life body. I approach this in an OBE style and will myself to roll out of bed onto the floor. I ooze off of the edge of the bed and drift gently to the floor.

My vision is dark at this point, so I spend a moment chilling out and digging my hands into the carpet to build up my physical sensations of the scene. After everything feels right, I stand up and look out over the bed. Wife has completely buried herself under the comforter. I throw the covers back and she sits up, blinking in the daylight which streams in through the window.

I’m struck by the clarity of the scene. There’s a slight haze at the edges of my vision, but even though there’s a dreaminess to everything I see, it all looks incredibly realistic. She gets out of bed and I follow her toward our walk-in closet while I try to remember my goals.

The structure of our closet looks the same as waking life except for the fact that it’s grown much larger. There are two attractive women standing there, an Asian woman and a shorter lady with brown hair, just sort of hanging around and talking to each other. Hanging around three cute DCs makes me forget all other goals and (somewhat complex) sexytime commences.

After a few moments Wife says, “We forgot to close the bedroom door!” as if she’s afraid that the kids will barge in. I reluctantly leave the closet to go check on this, but find that the door’s already shut tight.

“Everything’s fine,” I say, and when I turn back to the closet, the other two women have vanished. I’m also surprised to see that it’s night outside now. I look out through the window and see that there’s a tow truck out front hauling off a cute little car that’s shaped like a phone booth. “Hey check this out!” I tell Wife.

“That’s a shame,” she says. We watch as the tow truck drives off.

When I turn back toward the bed, I see a freckled woman in her early 20s laying on our bed. She’s wearing shorts and flopped on her stomach, reading some kind of pamphlet. I’m too far gone to think of goals at this point, so this leads to some additional sexytime with Wife and this newest DC.

Afterward, I get up from the bed and feel the scene darkening. I look at my hands and I can see the light fading from the dream fast. I dig my hands into the carpet, but before long I have a false awakening where I hear my father-in-law shout, “3 AM faaaaail!” I'm confused for a moment and then “remember” that a bunch of us are staying at some vacation house and needed to wake up at 3 AM for some reason.

I walk out of the room, feeling sleepy, and see my cousin SU. “Hey, did you hear? JP Morgan is going under.” I’m astonished to hear this.

My brother-in-law Muppet says, “This pisses me off so much.”

“That we’ll wind up bailing out a huge bank?” I ask.

“No,” Muppet says, and launches into a long, disjointed speech about finance. After a while I realize that this person isn’t even Muppet anymore but some guy I don’t recognize. I wonder how I got so confused and eventually pull myself away from the conversation shortly before the dream ends.