nightmare

#1: I was dead. I was looking down @ my partial body body laying in a marsh along a river. I see my legs & feet. It's disturbing. Locals are saying they accidentally killed me. I'm watching all of this unfold. I see a cop handling the investigation. I feel like he has got this & there will be answers. He says she'd been thrown off of the bridge & ended up in a marsh. I rarely see any part of myself in a dream & I don't remember ever looking at myself like this, especially in this context.Meesha Cat woke me up.

D2: I was w/ my parents & we were @ some kind of reception area. It's circular & you walk down to a row of tables & down again for the next row & down one more time for the bottom row. It reminds me of "The Love Boat" tv show on the cruise ship for some reason, lol. It was really elegant. It was just normal family conversations that I would've had as a child going somewhere w/ my parents but we are all adults here. My mom is worried about what ppl will think & are told not to embarrass her, lol. Thank God she is more relaxed & enjoying life now & not all uptight. Meesha Cat woke me up again.

D3: I was @ this restaurant by the beach kind of place. It looke like a version of an old clam bake except men were diving in to catch fresh fish w/ some odd looking sieve bucket or something. They were catching things like squid & yucky stuff. No seafood that tastes good like lobster or something. A man sitting at my table was going to get to try his hand at it. He finally gets to go in & I get to come closer. It looks like a cement wall is barely flowing water over it. It was really interesting how they utilized the sea/ocean in such a way to make an entertaining dining experience. Meesha Cat is waking me up a 3rd time tonight. I'm not happy with her.

I didn't have a lucid tonight but lately I have been picking up speed again with them after my break. I just finished my second journal over this past year since March but most of it looks like gibberish until I put it on here.

Thursday January 12, Non-Lucid: My childhood friend Shannon & I & some other friends of ours were in some sort of picture posing contest. At the end we submitted the photos that we had taken at a checkout counter which was of course odd. There were rows & rows of candy.

Friday January 13, D1: Non-Lucid: I was staying w/ others at what looked kind of like a bed & bread & breakfast but it was actually a huge house w/ many several kitchens, floors, rooms & no sharing of bathrooms. It was very old but not run down. On the contrary that is what made it very beautiful. It had recessed panels in the walls which are something you might see an older library or very old home owned by someone wealthy. There was a creepy man running the "Inn". It felt like there were people in the walls which made me uneasy. It all felt like a very sinister situation which caused me to wake up. I snuggled up to Mike before I went back to sleep because I felt so uneasy.

Friday January 13, D2: In & out of lucidity: I unfortunately chained right back into the dream. This time me & the mans son who was also there found a dead woman in one of the walls in a kitchen. Me & the other guests weren't being allowed to leave now. I was pleading w/ the man's son that we wouldn't tell anyone if he could just help us escape but he was terrified of his father. The son was a grown man in his 20's so it seemed as though this more young man had seen many horrors for quite some time. Me & the other guests had many failed escapes which only made the owner even angrier. I finally just woke up out of fear.

Saturday January 14, Non-Lucid: I was in a minimum security prison but not sure why. I was in a class w/ Dana Carvey the actor/comedian. I was drawing a plan to escape but I'm not much of an artist. He said he'd give it some thought. Another day we came into another classroom much like the first & I sat in the chair that the "Top Dog" of the prison usually sat at. She was angry when she came in but finally let me sit there because I needed to sit there to see out the windows & out of door while I was sketching more ideas for an escape. Later she was very impressed by a fuse system I had developed to help us escape. My wbtb went off but I couldn't fall back asleep because I had to get up & check out the weather again. We have been doing this sense yesterday due to the ice storm warnings.

Sunday January 15, Non-Lucid: My childhood friend Bobby & I were at a water park. I really wanted to stay asleep because I haven't seen him in a crazy amount of yrs. But of course I did anyway. The dream was pleasant & just a typical dream of having fun at a water park.

Monday January 16, Non-lucid: This dream is funny but graphic so I need it to have a spoiler for ADULT CONTENT>

Spoiler for ADULT CONTENT:

I was in a motel room w/ my younger sister Dena. We were getting ready to go to sleep. This is the second dream I've had about a week apart that I was just dropped into a dream scene. Apparently we were staying there because a man was stalking me or something. We had just got off the phone w/ a detective. The only light in the room was just small bits under the door to the room itself. I couldn't see my sister but I could feel her sitting next to me in the bed but I was scooted forward when I sat up unlike her who was sat up against the headboard. And here's where shit gets fucking weird. I feel a strange feeling in my vagina & instinctively put my hand down there. It was all very life like as though I had all my senses. A 9 volt battery came out of me! As a second one was coming out I yelled at my sister to call the detective back & to get here quick. She was really annoyed at her attitude but I didn't tell her what was happening. I think she was reading via a book light but I never saw her. I laid back on my back & pulled out 2 more 9 volt batteries out. Right then I heard a man in our room & I told my sister a man was in here w/ us. I couldn't decide which thing freaked me out more so I ran into the bathroom & checked to see if my vagina was okay. All out of batteries! Apparently I take 4 9 volt batteries, ROTFLMAO! I opened the door of the bathroom trying to get back to my sister but it didn't open up into the motel room but a busy hallway that looked like a busy courthouse. A woman passing me said "There's no cops here" & just walked on. I woke up IRL & ran to the bathroom & checked my vagina for batteries! It was such a realistic dream. This was definitely one of the weirdest dream ever!


Sorry for the delay in posting. We've been under a severe ice storm warning from Thursday-Sunday. There is a whole preparation list of shit to do when this occurs. My generator has paid for itself the year we had no electricity for a week & other catastrophe's we have endured.

D1: Non-lucid nightmare: I was being held down & raped by some man I didn't know. It was so intense I woke up.

I tried to go back in to get a lucid out of it to do the TOTM but no dice.

D2: Non-Lucid: I was with a big group of ppl & we were pillaging a house for random stuff. We were lost & just came across it. The family was the Duggar Family from the show 19 kids & counting, (Was weird cuz I quit watching that show some time ago) The father got really angry & was trying to make us leave.

D3: Non-Lucid: I was in a flying hospital. Yup, I flying hospital indeed, lol. I needed to get medical attention for something but never new why. I had 2 female friends w/ me. I was trying to find my husband (not any husband I've had in this lifetime) I didn't look like me. Both mine & his appearance kept changing. It was really weird. And our genders kept changing too! Finally I found him & we closed the curtain on an open ER Room w/ the curtain but it wouldn't close all the way around. A couple of my friends, both women whom I seemed to be really good friends w/ were saying "GO for it!" And watched us have sex, lol.

About an hour before I went to bed my husband & I had an intense conversation about how we met & a revelation I had during the day. We both feel that some other force kept pulling us together no matter what we did. He pursued me for 3 yrs before I gave in. It was an intense 3 yrs. We also both married other ppl briefly but it just wasn't right. He would always turn up behind me at work & freak me out, lol. But I would anticipate him & he would make my heart about jump out of my chest each time w/ attraction. I was always afraid he was a coke/meth addict because he is tall & slim & has a lot of energy. I was afraid because I used to be an IV drug user in my twenties & I don't want anything or anyone like that around me. But then it turned out I should've just asked him earlier & believed him. Everyone we know was like "It's about time!" in the end. We still till this day call him my stalker, lol. But ironically we both believe we were supposed to marry to the ppl in between all of this, because they both died during the year following our marriage (also 3 yrs later, I made him wait again, lol). But before they died they both changed in some ways. My ex was always very bitter & angry. He was dying from liver & kidney failure & turned to God in his final months & Mike's ex was never bitter towards me & actually liked seeing us happy together, she died in a fire... Ironically my marriage to this man ended because of his health. I told him he was going to die & had to change his eating habits & I refused to sit back & drag my kids down this road of slowly watching him kill himself in such a way. I new w/o a doubt he would die. He then went back to live w/ his mother & sister whom he had lived w/ many yrs before he was w/ me so he was never alone... Anyway I think that's where my dreams from tonight came from. Except the first one. I think that was because Meesha Cat was mauling my head to get up & feed her & it triggered that rape dream cuz he kept grabbing my hair. Of course I'm sure some of what we talked about that I didn't mention here was helpful w/ that dream. We had a pretty in-depth conversation./COLOR]

D1: Non-Lucid: A guy looked a lot like "Chuck" Saul's brother, from "Better call Saul". So I went there w/ the pony & it turned out to be something like a big feed store where you buy in bulk for animal food. He had some stalls in the back. The guy got really mad at me & said that we didn't deserve a pony & that we murdered our dogs. He told me we were criminals. Kept calling me a dog murderer. I was crying in my dream & in real life. I could here myself. So I knew I was dreaming but I still had to defend myself for personal reasons. I told him that wasn't what happened. I was hysterical & he kept yelling. But then he went around the corner which is the exact moment I knew I was dreaming, crying, & screaming. I started back in on him after I rounded the corner. He suddenly stopped & looked at me like I was crazy & said, "what are you talking about, I didn't say that."

I woke up still screaming & crying & Meesha Cat was loving on me. Then I realized all the screaming had freaked her out & woke her up. She had peed all over my bed. This was not a good start to the morning. I had to get up & wash all my shit & console my poor cat. So I finally got back to bed about 2 hrs later... Oh, & the dream was some small guilt I still carry about rehousing our dogs due to my health. They all got homes & yes I now have a cat but she's never under foot like they were.


D2: Lucid- Mike & I were driving to go see my Grandpa Harry. (He passed away 24 yrs ago) We were going around a sharp curve on what looked like the side of a mountain.It was getting dark & I was starting to panic. Something went wrong w/ the brakes & we were airborne. I was driving. I held his hand & said "I love you, Mike." I thought we were going to die! I had this strange feeling right then though. I had to try & do something. Part of me thought this has to be a dream & part of me thought this could be real. So when I told him I loved him & held his hand I went full on lucid. I slowed down time & willed us to be in a bubble away from the car & we slowly floated down.

D3: I had a big fight w/ a guy who was treating like shit. Apparently he was seeing me & another woman. I got really mad & started teleporting all around which freaked him out while I was yelling at him. He was so confused, lol. I started to get lucid but my phone went off & I had to deal w/ real life. Sigh. That would've been 2 lucids. Oh well.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown/OOB

I thought I was awake but I wasn't. It was a False Awakening...I had a dream that I was just sitting here in bed eating & watching tv & one of my teeth broke halfway off & I freaked out & ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror & saw that one of my teeth had broken in half. I was freaking out & went back into my room. I thought this really happened in the end & made me have some serious anxiety.

I went back & made this journal entry because I forgot & it's my most serious reoccurring dream & reoccurring false awakening. I always think I'm awake when this happens & I wake up freaking out. It sometimes makes me have multiple false awakenings. It's a great fear I have because I have dentures on the top & fear the day I will need them on the bottom.... I don't mind talking about it.... I had crooked teeth as a child which I knew would lead to problems later in life & also had a heat stroke at a girl scout retreat along w/ some other girls which made me prone to having nausea. Now I have to be careful in the heat. Hence my anxiousness of my A/C not working right this summer. Then there was my Hyperemesis during my pregnancies I was constantly in the hospital puking up blood which ate at my teeth & stomach. Any puking scenario scares the hell out of me, where my teeth are concerned. And the final nail in the coffin was when I became a meth addict in my 20's..... Anyway, this was important for me as a person to add to my journal.

1/2 pt partial lucid
2 pts wbtb
2 pts 2 non-lucid

Three Step:
1.Advanced Flying
2.Element Manipulation
3.Mass Telekinesis

New Dream goal: Go to the moon
Old Dream goal: Go to my dream house



D1: In my dream my husband in real life was married to one his ex wives. She's a lunatic. He wanted to be married to me too but he just refused to divorce her but said I could basically be a sister wife. It was a horrible dream. I was so very sad. Others were even trying to talk sense into him & give her the boot.

D2: I was in this big tower of a building. It was sort of like a factory. The guy in charge was making people get into this vat & do work down in this gunk. The levels were wrong depth wise & the chemical dangers were insane. He was trying to force a woman to go into the vat & I realized I was dreaming because it was really strange. I told him he couldn't make me do shit. Also another guy said the same thing. I was trying to find a way out & find some clean water to start my elemental manipulation but I couldn't because I was woke up by noises in my house. There were men in my house. Apparently while I was sleeping the A/C guys showed up early so I had to get up.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Competition Notes-Teal

D1: non-lucid: A nightmare in the twilight zone is the best way to describe it. I was in this house & I heard someone. People were popping in & out of existence! They would appear & disappear & then other people who appear & disappear. Most were coming back repeatedly & it was really creepy.

D2: non-lucid: I chained right into this next dream. There were orbs flying around in the sky. A cluster of orbs. Me & other people were chasing them through peoples yards & suddenly government people appeared. They had set a table with all kinds of technological devices.

I was watching a show about UFO's before I went to sleep.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

Bad dream recall of a non-lucid nightmare about my mother n law. But I've been worrying about her & had anxiety over going to see her today for the first time since she moved in assisted living.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

Non-lucid to lucid nightmare of sorts. It's hard to describe the place I'm in but I'll do my best. Okay, say you were in a warehouse type of place but with no roof & there are these kind of balconies but industrial like. That's as good as I can describe it. The world is basically ending & these guys are telling me the only way out is to come with them. So we climb up to the surrounding balcony & it leads to a door & through the door there is this tunnel.... The threat that will end us all is this constant water rising & people are trying to get to higher ground but it's obvious that even that will not save us. They tell me we need to get into this tube which is like 2 feet in diameter & it will take us into the earth somewhere where we will be safe. So, I was like okay, I'm claustrophobic but it's to save my life right? Then they tell me we will be sliding in said small fucking tunnel tube for a fucking hour but we will be fine. I become lucid as I'm thinking I have to be dreaming because this is all scary but nonetheless stupid. And then I start to panic & I just need to get away from this dream & right on cue before I could change anything my husband calls to wake me up.

I know why I had this dream. I was reading this book on meditation & it has you pay attention to your breathing. Breathe like you are breathing blue fluid which simulates the eather & yes in this book it's spelled that way on purpose.... And the tube came from when Mike & I had to go to one of the other pools recently due to our pool has the swim meet going on & he gashed his head in one of their tube slides that were made for kids... And I "am" claustrophobic & hate said tubes in general but I can deal with them if they are really fast or short rides.... Not to mention I'm overwhelmed with shit going on in my life right now so it all makes perfect sense. I would have liked to change the scene though because I had a dreamscape planned out. Oh well.



Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

D1: Non-Lucid--I was at this place which was like a Christmas celebration but they seemed like Morman's but somehow also occult like. Super weird. It was being in a place that looked like they should be holding a 4H fair but without the animals. In a building for animals. The people there didn't seem to want me or my friends there so I left. I hitchhiked to a nearby gas station on an oddly familiar old road. ( was watching Bates Motel before bed, lol).... I realized my purse was gone when I needed my billfold to pay at the gas station. I went back & the people there were now living in some really nice mobile home. The people there took me back to the 4H kind of place where we now bedded down like animals which was somehow against the rules. My friend wanted me to be curteous but I was mad cuz my purse & billfold was gone. But by then I had found them & was still pissed off cuz my phone in my pocket was now an old phone not my iphone. I told them they needed to give me back my phone or pay me like $800 for it. In the end they gave me cash when I threatend to press charges for the phone & on them personally for being sexual deviants. I said deviant in the dream but I was referring to them keeping the women & children being raped by the men but I never actually saw this, I just had the vibe.... Suddenly the festivities were back on everything was back to how it was when I got there in the beginning with my purse, phone & billfold all back where they belonged. I just wanted to leave & then Meesha woke me up.

D2: Non-Lucid Nightmare!- My family, like a lot of us, were in this tall hotel with really nice rooms. I've been here before, this hotel is a reoccurring dream place but I haven't been there in a while & there is usually a casino there. Anyway my twin daughters (real life twin daughters) had twins. But each had given birth to only one but they looked identical & we were calling them twins. The family went off & left me & my mom with them. My mom said I was being over protective of them & she let one wander off. The next thing I knew it fell off a stairwell & hit a shitload of stairs on it's way down! Fucking horrific! A woman who was dressed like a high end servant but was also some kind of doctor. I don't know, she just looked out of place. After me freaking the hell out eventually the baby was fine & I woke up all hot & sweaty.

Dream #1: non-lucid- All the details were very vivid in this dream. All the way down to cups & silverware & blankets & furniture etc. Jason & I were at college & were dating but then he turned in Bobby. We were hanging out on campus & doing normal college like stuff like eating together & romantic stuff. But then last nights dream guy became my new guy somehow & we were beginning a new romance & kissing & taking walks. I was staying in a rental w/ some other people now off campus & we were getting tired so I told him he could crash there with me. There was some weird reunion of people at my house & then the lights went dark & I sat on him.


Jason & Bobby were childhood friends of mine. The dream guy from the night before was weird.



Dream #2: non-lucid & lucid- I was at Richie's farm. But it only had very few details of the original. We were having a family reunion where I had become a permanent part of the family. There were a good 80 people or so there in the big farm house & outside. Lots of cars & trucks & other things that are normally on the farm. (Became Lucid) The details were intensely realistic & normal. Real things such as knickknacks everywhere. Everyone knew who I was & they were telling me who had had kids & married such & such & pulling out photo albums left & right. Lots of memories were going along with all of these things. This was extremely elaborate & there was a futuristic field they were showing me across the street where life had changed for all of us. It was elaborate with technologies that we don't have now for everyday life. A whole new system of farming & hovering crafts for water system & flying machines running the farm.... At this point I felt I was supposed to go back to my original families house but I was torn & really didn't want to go because of how all that turned out for me before.

Richie & her husband were one of my foster families. I was actually lived there twice. The first time I was going to go home to try & reintegrate me w/ my real family but it didn't work. I won't elaborate on that right now. I then came back after a few months but eventually I broke the rules of prom by leaving w/ my prom date from the after party. We still left amicably. I really loved them. They were good people. I even got a tattoo from one of my foster sisters (actually I put them on myself with her stuff & she gave me a dot on my shoulder to always remember here) & we went to high school for a while together in a whole other town.

Dream #3: Non-Lucid-Nightmare- I was in this house behind mine which is now a bunch of apartments. People busted in while my daughters house & these people were stealing all her shit. More very detailed stuff in it. I pulled out my phone to call the police & at some point I had to put it back cuz they almost caught me trying to call on them & they were an unsavory bunch. At the end I pulled it out & this woman just laughed at me & said "Good luck with that". Somehow she had magically took my phone which was now in her hands & fake phone was in mine. They tore out of there at that point & I woke up.

Recently I've tried not to interfere when I become lucid to work on noticing details. Apparently it's working. I've always noticed that when you try to change your dreams when you become lucid you take a big risk of losing a lot of details so I'm working on mastering details more lately.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

2 non-lucid, still having vertigo issues.

#1: Dreaming of watching tv with Mike in my chidhood home. He wanted to stay up. I was making up the futon we have in our real house in my childhood house. He was in the hall & he was asking about a show coming on. If it was on yet.

#2: Trying not to get raped by zombies. I kept thinking one of the other guys fighting the zombies was attractive. People were randomly having sex in a building in a park but it was like a shell of a one story stone building.

Listened to one Lilian Eden meditation but my son is here from college & I got really mad today over it so we had to call around 5;30 am about it dropping out on my wifi. I had a really bad morning. I will be listening tonight hopefully. Guess we'll find out if they fixed it. My son has 2 monitors & monster computers & high tech games which I'm always in competition with.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

I will start by saying that I was using a new technique that I found on YouTube. It was called "
Lucid Dream Induction: Dreamwalker" I will add the link at the end. I highly recommend it.

Dream#1: In this dream it was me, my friends Lindell, Dexter(Dex) & my husband Mike(he was asleep for some reason). These are very good friends of ours & used to be our neighbors. Lindell, whom I call "Lin" is like the male version of me w/ some exceptions so we are always doing goofy stuff.

Anyway, back to the dream. We were in Lin & Dex's house & were listening to the previously mentioned excercise which at some point keeps repeating do a reality check so it was interjecting itself into my lucid dream which was pretty exciting for me...Dell decides to record us w/ a tape cassette player for fun. Apparently Lin thought it would be a good idea to play w/ this giant Mouse Trap Game, based on the kids version.. Mike was sleeping but we were all getting into this game & we all suddenly realized we were in Lin's dream. Boy did we get excited at this point. He was also very excited because that was his intenion. Lin went near the edge of a higher curve on the mouse trap & leaned his head over the track upside down which was hillarious so we were trying to make the mouse hit him as it came down the track... I could still hear the words from the actual audio telling me to do the reality checks so this was also in my dream & I did them which was so very incredibly weird but in a good way... We all were waking up, except Mike & wanted to try & get back in "Lin's" dream again so they told me to start the audio over... At that moment, I woke up in real life & started the audio over & layed back down & went right back into the dream! It was really cool. I think this is a form of chaining.... For just a short while I was back in the same dream which eventually went into another dream alltogether, which was my 2nd or 3rd dream of the night. I'm unclear if you wake from a dream & do something & go back into the same dream if it is considered the same dream or is it a new dream.

2nd or 3rd Dream, depending on your definition was very emotional for me. This dream took place at a cabin somewhere. My ex-girlfriend Gail was there (actual girlfriend whom I was in a relationship w/ for a long time & was previously my best friend, she moved away), my husband Mike, me, my kids & some kind of monster. Gail kept trying to "get w/ me" & my husband came around a corner of the cabin while she was grabbing me & got really mad. He was screaming, "I knew it!" and we started arguing w/ me trying to defend myself. We were all trying to get away from some monster I coudn't even see but the car & truck wouldn't start & it was all just all kinds of bad... I was just glad when I woke up... I'm not surprised by this dream at all. My husband & her do not get along at all & I severed all ties from her years ago. I showed her pic to Mike this week from FB. Let me be clear here. I am not friends w/ her on there either but I do check on her every now & then because I will always care for her & she has multiple kinds of cancer & won't be around in a few yrs & its sad. He understands this. She & I were both victim's of domestic violence & she was there for me & helped me to stand up against my 1st husband. Anyway, I'm sure the picture triggered the dream.

Lucid Dream Induction: Dreamwalker

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BDOUSVZGHHo

Some big catastrophe happened & I was living in this big mansion & it had beautiful grounds. The only person I recognized was one of my twin daughters, Ashley. We were trying to deal w/ a lot of people trying to get us to give them supplies but our supplies were running out. I felt terrible that I couldn't give more because they assumed that we were lying to them due to the big house but we just didn't have very much left & this was about survival. It was a constant battle to try to keep these ppl out of our house & off of the property. I had this sense of dread that we were going to die if they managed to get in & take the last of our supplies. I was very glad when I woke up but I wish I had become lucid so I could have used this nightmare to my advantage.

Non-Lucid: I was in a flood & was helping a big family that was all split up & we finally found them all & no one seemed to be hurt. Then we were doing the normal emergency protocols for a big flood. Then I noticed we were in an unusual big manufactured home. There were alot of children. And then the dream took on some really odd turn, which I will now use a spoiler due to the content.

Spoiler for Graphic nature, followed by personal life event:

I noticed that a child about 7 was fondling his sibling who was about 5 & that child was trying to get away from that older one so I intervened & tried to tell the parents. But instead of being disturbed by this fact they were angry & wanted me to leave saying I couldn't be trusted now w/ their secret & I tried to tell them I would try & get some professional help for their family & that things would be okay but they weren't having any of that & wanted me to leave..... With that being said, this is a dream sign for me, which is quite disturbing. I have odd dreams of this similiar nature... So, on that note I have no quams w/ explaining why this is a dream sign for me because I'm a pretty open person...
In real life. When I was almost 14 I was removed from my hometown for fear of my safety.... First off, I lived in a town of less than 2000 ppl, & most of which resided on the outter limits... After my grandmother died my whole family fell apart. We lived on my grandparents land & my mom worked nights & she wasn't very maternal so I had spent alot of time w/ my grandmother being my mother figure & my dad was a very good father. So, when my grandmother died I started acting out & having sex, etc, no drugs, just not being home much, so my parents had taken me to a counselor which was worthless & gave our family terrible advice. And since I kept getting into trouble at school the school brought in a counselor for me who was given permission to tape our sessions... (It should also be noted, that no such counselor had ever even been to our small school, so this was drawing alot of attention to me to begin with.) During one of these sessions she somehow got me to talk about something that happend to me & it was recorded on tape... The following is what occurred: For the previous couple of yrs I was having sex w/ a married man from our church who was 19 or 20 when he was arrested so I guess he was 17, 18 & 19 while this was going on.... I had previouly told my father about this incident & he told me to not tell my mom which I ended up doing because I was a smartass & said my dad had told me not to tell her what we had discussed. She was livid AT ME incredibly. She called me a slut & a whore & in hindsight maybe that was why they agreed to have my sessions at the school recorded. (I was told the recording was for a degree the counselor was trying to achieve) Anyway back to the time of the arrest..... #1 I had a boyfriend who was in my class at the time, & who also was a cousin of the man arrested & I was not engaging in sexual activity w/ this man any longer. #2 My family, my boyfriends family & the family of the man arrested were the primary/prodominant families of our small town. Which means are families had been there for generations & had contributed to the small town.
So, on the day of the arrest I was in a couseling session during school hrs & she had asked me what I had done over the wknd & some how I referred to something about this man. It was in casusal conversation about a place at the school itself & had referred to an encounter w/ the man on school grounds.... I was very young but I knew just as soon as the words came out of my life that this man's life & my life would be destroyed & therefore tried to recant my statement but they called the police & made me give a full account of all my encounters with this man, which included many on the school grounds & in the school itself & of course the first event which took place almost in plain sight across from my church......Afterwards I watched as he was being halled off out of the office & into the police car all the while I was screaming at him that I was sorry. Again, remember I was young... (in all my yrs living there that was only the second police car I had ever seen in our town, so this was quite a spectical) At that point I was removed from my home for safety reasons due to the dynamics of the town & I sure didn't want to go home to my mother, whom as I mentioned, called me a whore & a slut when I told her previously this was going on. So I went to my first foster home & shortly after recieved I recieved death threats, due to his popularity as a star football player at our high school the previous 4 yrs. He also in turn lost his job as a janitor at the school, which he got due to wife being pregnant in her senior year..... I spent the remainder of my school yrs until I was almost 18 in foster homes & the last 2 in a group home... This event destroyed most of my adult yrs in various ways also until I met my current husband who has watched me go through phase after phase of bullshit, until 2 yrs ago when I finally found peace & joy in life. I'm so grateful for him that I can't even describe in words.... Just to be clear, this paragraph was in no way form a dream but a very real traumatic event that happend to me in real life. And yes I know this sounds like a crazy book & I wish it was & that I had never lived through it.....

Therefore, this traumatic event in my life triggers really sick dreams like this occasionally & I try to get help for people in them usually, like in this last one. And also there is the reoccurance of people wanting me to leave for irrational reasons. And yes, these are very disturbing dream signs but they are nonetheless some I have.