GoldenLight

2007/2006


This was my first lucid dream or one of my first. I had no particular method to recall dreams when this one occurred, nor had I been attempting LDing. What I had been doing was meditating using Metamusic with Binural Beats. I believe I was in the early stages of meditating when this dream occurred.

I went to bed at night, as usual, and during sleep, dreamed that I was in a gray room, where there were three metal tables and three other women. The edges of this room could not be seen as they appeared too dark or too blurry. The lighting was very dim. I noticed that one woman was lying prostrate upon one of the metal tables to my right. Another woman, stood to my left, and she was preparing herself to lie down upon the table. The middle table was for me. To the right of all three tables stood a woman. I felt that she belonged here, whereas the two women near the tables and I did not belong in this world. The woman was waiting for me and I knew I had been here before. I also knew what was expected of me. This all felt very dream-like but yet I had some sense I was dreaming; however, I was not 'conscience'.

I walked towards this woman, turned my back to her, lifted my hair, and then she did something to my neck. I let my hair fall back down and walked to the middle table. Looking toward the first lady that had been standing when I entered this room, I noticed she was now lying down. I hopped up onto the table; which reminded me of a doctor's examination table or those metal food carts that you see on airplanes, but larger. It was rather warm considering it's appearance. I think this is where I began to wake up but yet I was still not in control - still not fully alert.

As I lay upon the table, I felt myself slip out and up from my body - like a shooting scarf, or bit of smoke. My point of view changed. I was above the tables. Below me, was this flattened, clothed figure lying upon the middle table. The figure looked like a squeezed, empty tube of toothpaste. Then, I looked at the face. It was me. I recognized it as me but became confused because I was hovering above this figure.

It was at this point that I became lucid - during the confusion. I looked at the body on the table and had a conscious thought: If that was me on the table, then what do I look like now? I purposefully brought my left hand up and waved it before my eyes. My hand was a translucent gold, filled with tiny bits of golden glitter that sparkled. I was in awe, and my mind just began reeling. I felt elated and so light. All my senses kicked in, and I was awake - in my dream. Over and over I thought, I'm so beautiful. Look how beautiful I am.

In the next moment, a voice gently chided me. It may have been my own, I am not certain. But it said, "Stop admiring yourself. You have work to do." And with that thought or that acknowledgement, I became determined. My entire being was filled with utter peace, lightness, and I had no sense of this world...not my husband, not my children, not any problem at all. I felt completely accepted and loved. I have tried to 'feel' that since and it is nearly impossible to do.

In my dream, I thought, I am here to help someone and the next instant I was moving. My body was like smoke or wind. I flew above these people that seemed to be working in an office. They were all at desks. Some of them were in chairs that rolled, and they rolled from their desks to filing cabinets while keeping the handsets of phones tucked between their shoulders and cheeks. It was all movement below me. But I knew I wasn't there for these people. I was to meet someone else.

I could feel wind over my form and seemed to move with a thought. I remember loving the freedom and the unbelievable lightness.

The woman I was to help stood at the bottom of a staircase. I floated up to her. She was elderly, terrified, and crying. I wondered why she was so frightened and tried to comfort her but soon realized that she couldn't see or hear me. It became a sort of puzzle - how was I supposed to help someone that had no idea I was there? I floated in front of and behind her and then settled on floating slightly behind her.

She took tentative steps toward the top of the staircase, which seemed like any concrete staircase with a black metal railing, in any typical office building. I understood that I was to get her to the top of the stairs - and calm her down. How was that to be done when I was like the wind? This all felt so real and so alive. Yet, the whole time I had this feeling of utter peace and love and had no recall of earth. If that makes ANY sense.

I began sending her - or perhaps thinking is a better word - love and comfort. I felt her fear and her trepidation, but it never changed my overall emotional status of utter peace. This woman, with white hair, slowly made her way to the top of the staircase. I felt her fear ease until she reached the last step. As I hovered near her, I too saw the top of the landing. It was a cloud-like environment and brightly lit. Off in the distance was a bridge. Yeah, corny, I know. I thought so in the dream too but yet, I knew she had to cross it. It was an arched bridge like one you might see at a Putt-Putt course. Beneath this bridge was nothing but I expected there to be a small stream. On the other side of the bridge, was a heavier fog. I could see nothing beyond the bridge. I knew I was not to travel over the bridge and knew that no matter how hard I might try, I would not be able to get on the bridge. Strangely, I had no desire to try.

The woman's fear rose when she took in her surroundings, and I was reminded that I was there for her. I needed to calm her and get her to cross the bridge. I thought, everything will be all right. Go on. And I kept thinking that. It was strange because - being conscious in a dream - in such a BIZARRE world but being able to take things in and feel and think is just WEIRD and WONDERFUL at the same time.

Anyways, I watched the woman shuffle her way to the bridge. As she stepped on the bridge, her fear vanished, and she was enveloped by the fog or clouds. The next thing I felt was being sucked backwards. It was like a trigger - her crossing the bridge. I was being sucked backwards, like liquid through a straw. Then, I opened my eyes. I was lying in bed. My husband was still asleep. And I felt awful! All the weight of the real world fell in on me. All my problems - the gravity of this world - the flaws I have and the complete love, acceptance, and warmth was gone.

I tried so many times to return to that world - to that dream - but have never been able to replicate that one. I had others, but never that one. It occurred more than five years ago now. I have had several DILDs since, but that was my introduction to becoming lucid while dreaming.