JonBingus

Since I'm stuck with this cold I decided to just sleep in today and get rid of it faster. This brought on a series of like 20 dreams, all very fast and all divided up when my nose would get runny and I'd wake up.

The only one worth mentioning was my first lucid experience in a while. I'd say this was my most present one, as there were no visuals to distract me, just extremely loud audio and subtle physical. Once I realized I was in a dream, I reverted to laying in my bed just as I really was, but some childrens radio station was playing loudly from the other room, and my legs and torso kept lfoating off the bed. I couldn't figure out how to get the visuals to start, so I just chilled out. I woke up quickly after that thanks to my nose itching, but when I woke up I realized... did I just have to "open my eyes" to get it to start? Is it that simple?

I'm at the airport, with lots of time to spare. On my wai in I got in several conversations with random people and one guy lead me in here. Inside, I realized the airport was hooked up to comic con. One of the guys I was tlaking to before was heading the con and was doing a demo for everyone there of a kids game.

Walking around the place, I found myself hanging with a bunch of people my age down by a section that was clearly the Brewery. I was hanging with two of the staff when Kiarash showed up. He started asking me a bunch of questions and in the middle of that I realized that I had missed my flight. I went to rebook my flight, but when I tried calling my mom a guy from the ariport picked up and blamed me for missing it. I hung up on him and started chilling. I found out there were hostels in the airport that were like big hookup dens for travellers but I didn't want to waste too much time in going home. I called again and again the guy answered. The most vivid moment was the next 2 minutes, where I gave him this huge long rant about how fucked it was that he was intercepting my calls and how lost and alone I was and he apoligized and rebookd my flight. The last thing I remember was kicking around a soccer ball with two little boys who were playing on the way to my flight.

fuck this last dream. Entirely fever dream and filled with chinese statistics and strange business ideas that did not mount up to anything.

It begins at my old house. I've already been in this dream for an hour or so but it's mostly lost.

At my place, Chris has just decided to have a tinder girl over. I get cheesed cause of how shit my tinder game is, so I decide to do the one thing I never did at my childhood home. I sprinted upstairs, ripped open the window, and climbed out onto the roof. The roof was strange. It was soft and steeply angled so I could fall off. After sitting for a while I decided it was too strange to contiue doing. There was another one of thoses rare moments where I closed my eyes while turning around and the dream became entirely sensation based for a few seconds. I went downstairs and out the front door. I decided I would walk to the beach at Queens (does that exist) and just take the day off on the beach. I tried to teleport myself there but no luck.

As I walked down my childhood street I realized how amazingly vivid it all was. A pale blonde girl in a white car pulled up to the house next door and parked perpendicular, so strange. I told her she'll get towed and she didn't care at all. Must be Chris' girl.

The street was so beautiful. The trees once again pulled over the road, sheltering the place like one big cozy pavilion, an insulated time capsule where it all stood frozen. Every garden and yard was so lush, and the colours so vivid it was like a professional colour grade was happening in front of my eyes. As I approached the end of the street, my insanely hot neighbor came out. She was an absolute MILF, proabbly based off of visctorias secret angels, but rocking the mom jeans instead. She saw me and gestured around at how beautiful it all was and we started chatting about just how amazing this neighborhood is. She was enthralled with our chat and invited me in. Her house was absolutely incredible. All beautiful wood and massive high ceilings like a church. There were many floors all in one open concept, hard to explain. We walked through the house and then came upon the hot tub and abck deck. She looked at the tub, turned around, smiled, and said "Let's get drunk".

Fuck yes.

I fly downstairs and grab my bathing suit, I guess I've stayed here before. Kitty is chilling on the stairs back up, and I start petting the shit out of him since I haven't seen the little guy for a long time. I woke up petting my cat. Comfy dream.

This dream was long and fantastical and full of insane battles and places, but I am just going to write out the end. I was on a ski hill with Sasha, and we went down the run once. She started humble bragging about how good she was at skiing and how she did all these hipster things. When we went to get on the ski lift, she asked the guy for a boost or something so he let her on the chair way after it had swung around, it made not sense. I had to sprint after it and climb on the thing as it was going up in the air, 007 style. On the way up, I realized all of my buddies were in the chairs ahead and behind us. At the top, we started chilling and getting our shit ready to bomb the hill, when my brother and all his buddies got off too. They were happy to see us and started yelling about some party that was going on up here in a chalet. Apparantly it was the biggest party of the year.

As we arrived, I took stock of my group vs my bros. His crew was the regular boys, Big Bart and the like. I had with me Australian Dan, Arshia, Mert, and Chumbus, the mentally retarded rapper. The guy was extremely down syndrome, but he was a pretty nice guy and we brought him to the party. In the middle of it, he said he got a job working with Mert on films. Crazy. I remember looking at the snap I made of the party, and then checking Big Barts shit, he had a crazy timelapse night club video that had hundreds of likes on instagram already.

Then came a moment when suddenly the rooms were empty. Everyone was gone, and it was just me, Aussie Dan, and Chumbus. The girl at the bar gave me a wicked look. I asked her what happened.

"Everybody moved to a different party. I think it's at Roger Federer's house."

"Oh shit, I had no idea. Where is it?"

"Sorry, it's only 700 people, place is totally full."

"Man, how did I miss it? My friends must have been too drunk and forgotten to tell me."

"Maybe it isn't your friends. Maybe it's you. You aren't invited. Look around you kid."

And that's when it sunk in. It was me, a failed Aussie, a retarded guy, and 3 people who passed out in their own vomit. We were the lowest of the low, to the point were they moved parties just to drop us 3.
That hurt man. In reality, I usually am the guy throwing the parties, but I guess this is how my life could go if I lose all ambition. The last thing I did in the dream was tell Chumbus that he has a to work 10 hours a day 7 days a week if he wants to achieve anything at all in this world, and especially in this industry.

I'm gonna go work extra hard today.

I travelled a hundred miles back and forth on top of a giant metal fish. My brother showed me how to launch it in the air at unprescedented speeds. Think Howls moving castle meets angry birds.

It took me to lands of lush grasses and blue seas, but soon I had to return home. I got news from my mom... my father had died. I was walking back to my house in a phone call with Wil, telling him that I still felt no sadness as there was no way i actually had allowed the reality to sink in. Right outside my home a couple passed another with a dog and fawned over it. Wil made a joke about them whoring for a high rating, which obviously came from me watching black mirror last night. I got home, and entered what was the exterior of one of the houses with the stone wall lawn from my old walk to school, and the inside was the dankertons. Simon was watching the hills have eyes but it became reality, and was about monsters that feed off the ego to destroy people. The protagonist was a girl that slayed a massive demon in the living room that possessed tentacles that could impale your chest bones. She played a card of some kind that sealed it's fate. Suddenly Arshia called me on his phone and started making jokes about something, and I woke up.

I was at a chinese restaurant the whole time. At one point I remember saying "I am so grateful for my life. I must be the only chef in the world who's been to the moon twice."

My first memory in this dream starts off so innocently. I'm playing a game with some younger kids, kind of like red rover, but instead of everyone just a few kids are selected to go to the middle line, brace on each other, and then start pushing to see who can topple who over. I was volunteered to go up, but of course there was no contest due to my weight and strength. I half heartedly participated, then went back to find my friends.I didn't actually know if I had any friends here, but I soon found them. It was a few guys I don't know, as well as Galen and Raivo. We were in some group together. I pulled out my phone and went on instagram. I saw that this weird feature was turned on that posted the same or similar post every day and asked all of my followers to vote on it to help me decide something. The post itself though made no sense and the whole thing was just too pushy and weird and I knew I turned it on by accident. When disabling the thing, it instead set up something called a "Quest", where it would track my life progress, and on the day that I was no longer in the frat it would post some long emotional thing about how it had come to an end. So, a frat, that's what this was. I put my phone down, and Galen and Raivo are with me. Galen checks his phone. "Dude, sick quest. I'm excited to see it come to an end."

Weird thing to say, hoping the frat ends already.

Suddenly an annoucement come on, seemingly booming all around us. "GENTLEMEN'S FRATERNITY HAS WON THE CONTEST OF CENTURY!!!!!"

And there you have it. Some eternal conflict, probably started on some dumb bet a hundred years ago has finally come to its conclusion. And I'm on the winning team. Men must ahve lived and died hoping to see this and here I am plopped in the middle. We go to check out the ceremony, but I look down at my clothes. I'm wearing my grey poli shirt with the white horizontal stripes from when I was a kid. It is massive on me, past my waist and more like a drape or a dress than a shirt. I realize that this is the qeight of my childhood insecurities about my body, and say out loud, "thank god old habits can die."

I go to the frat house to change. It is basically a normal frat house but the roof is glass which is cool. I find my Steamwhistle duffel bag in there and start trying on clothes. For some reason, my jacket is absolutely covered in ketchup, as if a mcdonalds dispenser exploded on it. I put it down and look around the room, and then put on some skinny jeans and a tight shirt for the big ceremony. I look down, and somehow the ketchup has thickly soaked into my crotch. I fucking put the jacket down right on my bag of stuff. All my pants are ruined. I go to wash the ketchup from me outside, but suddenly all my buddies are rushing past me.


Some guy called us over to go to his house. I entered in through the Foyer, then took a left and went down a long hall. The room opened up to the kitchen on the left, dining room on the right, and patio ahead of me. Just like Tom's house, but a few $million more extravagent. I went on the balcony, and everyone was out back casting fishing rods. I had one in my hands, an old rickety thing, and tried casting it for some time. I couldn't manage to get a single good cast without snagging myself, a buddy, or a bush with the lure. I didn't understand it anyway since they were all just casting into the backyard anyway. When I went back inside, the guy who owned the place (bob saget) was hanging in the kitchen. He started coaching me on fishing, and after a while I got comfy with it. Then, I knew it was time for the ceremony.

I had not reached the place yet, when I heard another loud noise. Suddenly, that booming annoucner voice spoke quieter than the boom, yet in an epic tone, directly to me. He told me how the ceremony was ruined somehow, and that my fraternity had failed to be crowned the winner. Knowing that there would never be a chance to regain that potential glory, all of the members sprang into action. Now, as the narrator told me these things, I could see them play out in front of me, as if in the animus.

The first thing to happen was the crown leader of the fraternity. He locked his head in a small cage against a wall, and allowed a mob of plebians to smash his body to shreds. Following suit, all members of the fraternity did the same. Locking their heads in these square, helmet sized black cages and allowing their bodies to go to absolutley fucked up fates. One woman locked up each foot in one in a splits position, and then the rock that she sat upon was split in two, tearing her body in two clean down the middle. This is honestly the goriest dream I've ever had, it was so fucked up and all of it being voluntary, over some stupid little honor game that the subjects didn't even fully understand was just sickening.

Eventually the fervor died down, and the narrator continue on about the historical impact of this event and how Thomas Jefferson wrote about it and all this weird shit. I think this bit where the event was disconnected in time from myself was what allowed everything to just revert to it's natural state.

I went back to hang at bob saget's place, when his wife walked in.....I can't adequately describe her in this. She was almost short, maybe 5'8". She had flowing, chestnut blonde locks and deep brown eyes. Her skin was just ever so slightly tanned, to the point that race was impossible to distinguish. Her figure was perfect for her height, curvy in all the right places but I mean real curves here, in and out. On top of that, she was wearing very tight clothing and a warm smile. I never bother to describe people in my dreams like this but I honestly never want to forget this girl, in case I meet the real girl again who she must be based from in my subconscious.

She came up to introduce herself to me. Standing at the edge of the kitchen, she entered a gentle embrace with me. "It's so nice to meet you!" She smiled even brighter and put me in a tight hug. When I went to back out, she just continued her light embrace and stared in my eyes. Holy hell. So this is what being captured in a gaze feels like, no wonder it's been working so well for me IRL. She keeps staring at me and starts speaking, I don't know what about but I would never dedicate enogh of my mind to understanding it when I could just drink this in. As she spoke, she guided me around the kitchen. Her husband was gone. She continued talking to me with this warm voice full of passion, looking right into me eyes. Slowly, her face got closer and closer to mine. Soon enough, with every word her lips brushed mine. But I know he is still somewhere here. The intensity grows stronger, I am backed into the corner of the room now, her body pressed firmly against mine, lips riding the edge of infidelity.

I kiss her.

And I immediately realise I've failed the test. She continues her speech for a few more lines, then breaks off and backs away, still staring. In her eyes, I can read it.
"He is still a boy."
Had I resisted the temptation, understood the stakes, there was so much more than just a kiss in it for me. I'll have to keep this lesson in mind in my waking life.

I went away from the house, which felt empty after what just happened. Outside I found an area with high tables and picnic benches. There was a guy and girl at a high table sorting hops out. Some was finely gorund and some was in bud form, and I realized from their chat that they were dividing up the hops for brewing. The guy decided to cheat and put too little out of laziness, so I smacked his batch and ruined the whole thing. I gave him a lecture about doing the job wrong because you won't bother to put in the effort needed, and talked about how doing the job right always will eventually lead to it becoming second nature and a chore no more. This seemed to brighten his eyes up and he was inspired to complete it properly. Another lesson I think I was trying to teach my real self.

Looking over at the picnic tables, I saw an amazing sight. Honestly, this is when I should always reality check but I never remember this shit. From now on I will redouble my efforts in the plane of reality.

At the table were 5 girls, one of which being the wife. She smiled and called me over, and I sat with them. She started asking me if I saw their show. Immediately I had this memory from before the celebration of these girls on stage dancing to grimes, with very bright neon rainbow lights all over their bodies. It was fuzzy and mesmerizing and quite beautiful.

"Yeah, there were just so many of these beautiful girls up there, it was like nothing I've seen before."

She turned to the other table. I hear her say "He thinks you're beautiful!" "Who?" "Benjamin, right here"

I know she is pointing me out, and even though they'rejust a few feet away I do that stupid thing I do when with girls and totally not present. I looked away and gave a fake smile to some other conversation, while just paying attention to my pose and hoping that I looked attractive and 'candid' for the girls. Like what the fuck, peacocking instinct is so deep it happens in dreams.

I sat with the girls for a little while more when Lee showed up. He said steamy broke down and needed a ride to it, so I stole a volvo and we ripped it. Suddenly life is GTA we're ripping through the city and I have the world map, but when I try to navigate on memory it ends up putting me further from my goal. We're burning time, lee is in a rush. I open the map and see I can fast travel right there. Then I see there's a skydive option. Boom, Just Cause style I'm in the air flying down. Rip open the chute and end up like 200 meters away. I run on these little mountain things to get to the auto shop which was aslmost literally next door to the girls, but I look down. In a little grotto area of this rock structure I 'm on, I see a pair of floating cells. The cells are the size of a cow, perfectly round and bouncing off eachother. I jump down in the hole, but a girl rushes in. She stands on a big gold seal between the cells and they instandtly smash into her, absorbing her in their goo. A bright light emerges from them, then an ethereal explosion. Suddenly the girl is surrounded. In front of her are two japanese sword masters. Beside them are two karate masters. Both pairs are slightly cartoonish and they are facing the same direction she is, but when even a fly approaches her they strike with the speed of sound and decimate whatever it is. Beside her are two large numidian men, garbed in gold armor and shields with large clubs of platinum. They act asher flanks, and seem even more imposing than the japanese, for they do not waste their power on the flies. Behind her, stand four anubis guards. Great egyptian men of stone. I can feel how invincible they are, but the fact that there are four shows that they are probably not the greatest fighters. And behind them, stand Ra and Anubis. They seem to be simply on a stroll. In fact, I think the anubis guards are for them, simply for show. Yet somehow, all of these godly figures are bound to this girl.

She had become the ultimate weapon. Lee and I watched her for some time, and after a while, I woke up.

I had several dreams, but they were all controlled by simon. He seemed to focus on exercising, portioning out nutrients and weights, and fighting in a war that never came.

Just vivid sex for hours, nothing else.

Kinda boring after a while

I am walking in a subway terminal. I have a ticket to something, and I've been trying to find the ride for a while. Through a maze of tunnels I find myself in a bigger one. This massibe round tunnel with hundreds of people in it. There's a casino to my left. Where am I? This is the question. And then the answer comes to me. I am on a jet plane. A 787, 10 times bigger than any jet, equipped with restaurants and entertainment.

I find myself no longer on the jet, but with Chris and Hannah's sister. We're boarding the plane again. I tell them about the restaurant but chris wants none of that. Turns out we have our own private room. We go in and there's a TV, some meals, and rows and rows of candy and treats. I start eating reese cups the size of an apple. We sit down to watch a movie, and at some point Rachel starts lightly caressing my lips. What? Eventually I get the message and petting ensues. Half way through the movie I go to find another room. She comes along, but soon we're lost, and a nice mexican guide tells us we're in the basement and will need to find our way back up. I split from her and go up fast. I go so far up I'm on the roof of the jet. Up here, it's like an aircraft carrier. Jets, prop planes, and choppers line the deck as well as a couple hundred guys up here on smoke breaks or just enjoying the view.

We smash into a rain cloud, soaking the deck. It's pitch black, and the plane begins to shake. I am thrown from the deck.

Falling.

I land in the ocean. Luckily I am only 700 meters of shore of Toronto. The sky here is full of enthusiast biplanes doing loops and flips and they keep edging closer to dive bombing me. I grab hold of one, and take the pilot's seat. I'm flown back to the city.

I'm with my friends there, and they are all asking me about the fall. How did I survive? I'm not so sure. One guy starts up a beat, and starts freestyling, and calls me a liar. I take one step toward him, and rattle off a 2 minute freestyle that blows his mind and all those around me. It is recorded, and uploaded to soundcloud. I hit #12 rapper for the day.

My family and I move into the mountains. I am up there with the most incredible view for a long time. One day, some tyrants come and try to enslave the mountain people and create a class system. I am invited to be upper class, but instead I fight. A man on a horse chases me down through the fields, and I leap my horse from a cliff. It grows wings, and together we fly.


This is the first quarter of the dream but I'm tired of typing. After this there was a long slow motion sequence where I was Quicksilver from Marvel, and I was in a gun fight with 2 bad guys who had spiderman speed reflexes, and one guy who could move at superspeed and enter the slo-mo world, but still only at about half the speed I was going. This was an insane battle, because technically I had a massive edge, but it was not a simple task to defeat them.

That was the basis for the entire dream, and that will continue to be it, as I am now going to bed. It is 2 AM.

Luckily the rest of my dream was about a different universally hated leader, Napoleon. Simon and I were at the location of his death on the bettlefield. We watched him be slain, and I tended to his wounds for a moment before Galen took him over. This Galen was so much more realistic than most of my dream characters ever are. He had these beautiful rants and his handshake was calloused. At one point long after the battle we were sitting on chairs in the night, looking up at the stars. They were extremely beautiful, being a figment of my dream, and I think if I was still reality checking on views I could have gone lucid. The end of this dream was pretty great. I was on a dance floor with Simon and Galen, and I had time travelled us back to the 80s. Everyone was doing the robot and I started dancing all loose like drake. The 80s people stared at me in disgust, but I just kept leaning back further and further. It was extremely fun to do, and I got into a way impossible limbo and kept dancing like I gave no fucks. Then I went forward on my toes, annoucing "this must be impossible". And then my alarm went off. The immediate moment before a lucid dream no doubt was upon me.

Strange dreams all night planning out the video I had to make today.The footage was from the government, and I was reliving all the shoots, all the processes. The dreams were of such an impatient nature that I'm now awake at 5:30 just to get a head start on this and be done with it.

I wish I had the time to write it all down. Parties at my house, dragons assaulting me flying over a lake, and a girl with insecurities so big they expanded into the physical world.