side notes

I found myself in a huge convention center, it seemed. And to my surprise, the place sort of circled around a large domain where the space needle was being constructed, though it was black. I met this woman, and everyone presumed she had an attitude about her that made her cold, unapproachable, and seemingly ill-tempered. I chose to ignore these elements and sat down with her at a picnic table, still inside this convention center. This woman's disposition was an absolute amalgamation of several personas of multiple strippers.

La

I'm so stupidly foggy as to other dream aspects, but I was at one point conversing with my mother about something lifelike.

Additionally, my friend Matt was at my house, and he felt the need to watch television on our big screen downstairs. He gathered together a jumbled mess of extension cords, and sought the assistance of my father to garner a means to watch his program. When i met him at the foot of the stairs, I asked why he needed to do this, and he responded with "I didn't want you to give me that look of eyes five inches apart!"

WHO CARES WHAT PSYCHIATRISTS WRITE ON WALLS!

It was my first night home for the Christmas break. I wish I could remember this dream better, as it seemed to be fairly eventful and reached new areas of strangeness. I think there is a contest having to do with a train or a railroad station or something of the like. It may be old western times. There are many people I know and celebrities participating in this contest. It seems that the participants are being eliminated quickly, but there is one of them who has yet to compete, and who I have great faith in. This of course is Sting, my favorite song writer. IRL, I read his memoir “Broken Music” over the summer. It influenced me greatly, and I have this connection to him. That connection was evident in the dream; though I’m not sure he acknowledged it. I cannot remember the outcome of this contest. But there are two other instances of this dream that I remember. One of them is me, in a hotel room, high above the ground, in a bright white room. I look out at the balcony. I think there is an ocean. That’s all I can really remember. The other is me receiving fellatio from this brunette girl who bears a resemblance to someone I met briefly about a year ago. Though all goes as it should, several times I think, it is strangely dissatisfying. I remember feeling rather pleased with the state of affairs, as was she, but I do not think I felt anything orgasmic or really significant, as I normally would in this situation. I can remember so clearly the pictures from these dreams, which only makes me long to remember the circumstances and sequences of events.

I am traveling with my mother, my sister and her child, and possibly someone else to see Jon Anderson and Todmobile in concert. We arrive at this place that does not seem at all like any sort of proper concert hall. It seems more like a small entry way with windows behind us. We are right in front and are able to interact with the performers. Todmobile is playing some sort of impossible instrument. It’s rather difficult to describe. It has a spongy, fluid texture, and it moves downward like a spiral staircase. I think I remember playing it like you would a vibraphone, but it was huge and in constant motion. Colors changed on its surface, and I remember enjoying the sound it produced. Our cousins are also at this performance, as is my uncle. I know there was so much more to this dream, but that is all I can remember.

For the last two nights, I had been attempting to recreate the circumstances which enabled my initial “one that I’ve been waiting for” dream. So this involves taking NyQuil and Ibuprofen, and I also downed apple juice in hopes of greater vividness. It has not produced similar results. I know I’ve been dreaming, but they have in no way been nearly as profound or memorable as that first one. It seems to me a typical case of trying to reproduce something amazing that occurred without any effort or preconceptions. I’ve even been listening to the same album I did that first night. But I admit, this has been a rather foolish endeavor. The feelings and symbols I experienced in that first dream I cannot hope to experience again by means of forcing it to happen. It happened somewhat naturally, it seems. I can only wait for the next time.

Lately, I've been having dreams involving embracing, kissing, and affection, mainly with women whom i cannot put a name to. I'm mainly thankful that these dreams do not seem to involve me ex, as my feelings for her remain strong and difficult to deal with. However, a dream that took place the other night stood out to me. I find myself in a strange building with many windows, accompanied by this girl I've been seeing lately. There are things that happen in this dream, but I cannot remember most of them. But I do vividly remember a particular instance, similar to how I remember things from my childhood. A girl who attended my high school makes an appearance. I always sensed that she liked me in high school, but I never made a move. In the dream, there seems to be a mutual level of attraction between us. We kiss in a room that has windows and is visible from another part of the house. Afterwards, I immediately am with the other girl I've been seeing in real life, and she confronts me about kissing the girl from my high school. I can't remember what I said, but whatever it was convinced her that my kissing this other girl was not a big deal, and she quickly forgives me. We embrace, and all between us seems okay. That is all I can remember. It seems as though I've been having dreams like this every night. Last night I was in an absurd situation with a blonde girl at a dinner table. I know there was a lot more to this one, but as usual, I cannot remember. I can't say that I do not enjoy these dreams, but I fear that soon my ex lover will enter them. If that occurs, I imagine I'd wake up with such pain and find myself in tears.

I feel that there really isn't much to be said about this one. Any thoughts to be had come quickly, and any semblance of images fade. But there is one image, one picture that is stuck in my memory; it will remain there, I think. I see the outside of my house, but it is slightly different. It contains more greenery, almost like it is a garden. There is a group of people standing outside, and I feel that they are friends. However, when i travel outside, they have disappeared, and what remains now gives me a feeling of unease. It is a group of people who I perceive wish to do harm to me and my friends. That is all I can remember about it. I know for a fact there was much more to this dream, and I hate that I can't remember all of it.

I have to say that I have not really been enjoying these dreams I have been remembering lately as much as I had hoped. There is nothing really striking or beautiful or meaningful about them. They just seem random, and they disturb me when I am in the midst of them. Even still, I wish I could remember them better. But I suppose I am grateful I have been remembering anything lately. For a while it seemed like I never could remember my dreams. No matter, I am hopeful for tonight. I desire a journey, a meaningful experience, a thought provoking encounter, a love.

I began a new method in hopes of having more vivid and memorable dreams. So far, I can remember one of the dreams I had pretty well since starting this a couple days ago. I usually have been able to get up around 9 or 10 during the week, seeing as how I don't really have any early morning classes this quarter. But I realized I would probably be able to better remember my dreams if I woke myself up around 6 or 7 in the morning, when I would still be in a fairly deep sleep. So the first night i tried this, I remembered a dream I had in which I was thrown in jail for robbing a convenience store. I can't remember much else from this, apart from the fact that I nearly went mad in just the first few minutes of being behind bars (I wonder if this could be any indication of how I would be able to handle, or not handle, prison in real life). I hope to have somewhat more powerful and exciting dreams while putting this new method into use. Last night, in addition to setting my alarm for 7am, I also consumed a substantial amount of apple juice before drifting off to sleep. I used to do this on occasion in high school, and it would make for some pretty vivid dreams. However, it did not really seem to work this time. Well, I suppose it might have, and I may have just not remembered; also, I may have not woken myself up early enough. I think the particular brand of apple juice I used may not have been as effective as the ones I used in high school. Anyway, today I'll try to get my hands on some of the good stuff (Ha! Can you imagine someone referring to apple juice like this?), and I'll also set my alarm a little earlier (maybe 5:30am or so). In addition, I bought the new Radiohead album last night, and boy, I imagine listening to it before bed could make for some pretty interesting dreams. I'll add that to my method this evening too.