Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I'm not sure where I was. It seemed like a classroom, for some reason I wanna say it was an art classroom. I feel like I was at some thing where you stayed over night or something. There were many others there as well, I think mostly women. There was this group of black girls who had it out for me for something I had said. I had been very angry earlier and spouted some things off, but I don't remember what they were. They kept giving me hell for it, writing me notes telling me off but never really telling me off to my face. I don't remember what they said other than they were very angry at me, and I was very angry too. One of them said something in a note regarding depression or something maybe? Like trying to tell me I needed to stop going on about being sad and I didn't have it bad or something. I wrote back a nice response, saying that unless you've been where I've been, in the darkness of depression, then she couldn't say a damn thing because it's that bad. You don't know unless you've been there. After that, the notes stopped.

I remember bits of being in the house I grew up in, something felt like Christmas there but that's all I recall.

Also, something about my daughter. It also involved the black girls. I think the thing I was angry about had to do with her, actually, or at least that was part of it.

I know I dreamed more and I may remember more later but this is all I have right now. I'm lucky I got to type this out this morning; my girl usually gives me a run for my money in the mornings, but she's just finished her bottle as I'm typing so I had a minute.

Dream - Lucid

I finally remembered parts of a dream. Just a frag but here you go.

I was at Disney World. I rode one of the rides, though it wasn't a roller coaster or anything super high thrill. It was I believe one of those simulator rides, like Star Tours. While on the ride, I remembered that I was pregnant, and I shouldn't be on the ride. That also meant no roller coasters either, which was very disappointing, but it was better that I don't risk hurting the baby. I looked down at my pregnant belly at some point, I think when the ride was over.

I remember very little about last night, something about being in a grocery store and that's it. My brain was going a million miles an hour yesterday as we ran around all day and I was exhausted so I didn't think to take any notes during my normal 4am waking.

Dream - Lucid

I decided after I woke up from this dream to jot it down in my phone so as to keep it fresh in my memory, and it worked great. I remember more of this dream than I have of any dream in quite some time.

The setting was some sort of school. We were in a classroom, and it was daytime outside. I was not a participant in this dream, but an observer. I watched this mentally-challenged kid of maybe 19-23 years of age interact with his beautiful girlfriend, the sister of a girl I knew IWL who passed away in a car accident in 2012. He was wearing a suit or tuxedo, had dark brown, short hair, and he spoke and acted slowly. The sister, Liz, loved this boy just as much as he loved her. I could see and feel how much they loved each other. The love they had was so pure, something of a rarity to be sure. I saw them together in the classroom, just sitting with one another. The boy was going to ask Liz to marry him.

Then, I saw this scene of the boy's dad teaching him how to have sex? Like the boy was on top of his dad, but it was understood by me that this was not meant to be perverted at all by either the dad or the boy. I assumed he was teaching him so he would know when the time came with Liz. This was more like a flash back, as I understood that Liz and the boy had already had sex.

Liz thought she might look fat or pregnant. This part was in my notes and I remember it, but not much about it.

There was a little more involving the boy and Liz, but I can't remember details.

Then, dream shift. I'm in a stand up shower stall with my husband. It was in a public place, but I'm not sure what kind. I looked in the full-length mirror in the shower and I was wearing a long maxi skirt and a mid-drift top. The color scheme of both was red and blue. Looking at myself while facing the mirror, my hips looked a little wider, but my tummy looked flat. Turning to the side, I could see that I looked fat or pregnant. I felt slightly exposed and uncomfortable in the outfit, as I still have baby weight on me. I wasn't sure why I was wearing a mid-drift.

Then, we were under the running water in the shower, naked. I was washing Dallas's back with my loofah. He was then lying face-down on the shower floor, and I continued to wash his back. A college-aged black girl with glasses then walked in the shower, saw us, and turned around, apologizing. She then noticed the time and said
"Oh, it's only 10:45!"
She then left the room. I guess we had until 11am to shower or something.

Dream - Lucid

I don't quite remember the setting, but it seemed dark, like night was falling or had just fallen. I was pregnant and about to have my new baby. There were people with me, but I don't think it was anyone that I know.

I then had the baby. I was holding my new baby, which actually was my daughter now being "reborn"; she wasn't a newborn, but she wasn't quite as big and strong as she is now IWL. She had more teeth than she does now though, even a few in the back of her mouth. She was clothed in only a diaper, and I wanted to breastfeed her. I put her to my right breast, which was exposed, and she began drinking, though she only took a few sips before she didn't want anymore; she wanted a faster return and my boobs weren't cutting it. I was disappointed.

I then was no longer holding her, and my shirt, a night shirt I wear often IWL, was half-soaked in breast milk from the breast she didn't nurse from. Shoulda thought about that; I know better.


~

IWL I do want to breastfeed our next child longer; circumstances were chaotic when my daughter was born, so I only got to breastfeed for 6 weeks...wasn't even really breastfeeding, but pumping as she didn't want the breast; like in the dream, she didn't get a fast enough return.

Can't wait to get my recall back up. This is a dream I had this morning so it was easy to remember. I dream so vividly every night, all night, but my recall has slipped due to life circumstances. I'll work my way back up!

Hey loves. If any of you are still here anyway, ha.

I do apologize for a long, long absence. When I left last time, I had just found out that I was pregnant, and I was over-analyzing my dreams, so I had to stop recording them. It was stressing me out. I was picking them apart trying to figure out if they were trying to tell me my baby was dead (anxiety!). The baby ended up being fine and I gave birth to a baby girl by emergency c-section on July 7 of last year. She is happy and healthy...such a joy. <3

I am now pregnant again, but going through some really tough issues in my life. We don't have a place to go when our lease ends on the 31st. We were going to move to Oregon, but with the pregnancy catching us by surprise, we decided to wait since the move itself could be stressful enough to harm the pregnancy. We are very poor, barely making ends meet (my parents were going to help us move out there). Things are not going well. And I honestly wasn't even thinking about DV, but I had a friend request in my email, so I came back.

I would like to start journaling again, but my recall is suffering pretty badly right now, though my dreams are very, very vivid. I'd like to find some insight into all the craziness happening in my life lately. It's been a long time since I had a LD that I can remember, but hopefully this will fix it.

On a similar note, some of the pregnancy/post-partum dreams I had I wish I would have written down. The hormones REALLY drive up the vividness. But I had other things to tend to at the time, severe post-partum depression being one, something that I am still struggling with, especially now that I am off my antidepressants.

So anyway, KittenSquirrel (I think that's your name), thanks for friend requesting me. Maybe dream journaling again is going to help me find some insight into the craziness in my life/the world.

-Krista

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, and a man with black hair and a foreign accent came up and asked me where just plain loaves of bread were. I went to go point out the ones against the wall, but...they weren't there. I got very disoriented, not sure where I was anymore. I then told him aisle 13 had other bread on it. He said it didn't. I said that it did and walked a little ways to see if I could see aisle 13, but...it wasn't there either. It looked more like I was in a mall than the bakery. He went towards the area aisle 13 was supposed to be.

I thought for a minute...I was really confused. I then realized I was dreaming. Doh. Makes sense now. The dream around me started to change; I could see another scene peeking through the top right corner of my vision. I then was somewhere completely different. I was outside a large castle that had a forest around it. I was then inside said castle. The stone was blue steel colored. It wasn't smooth, but it was natural looking stone. I was standing by a spiral staircase that went upwards.

In front of me, there was then a man, a big, older man wearing a suit. He told me I was in "The House of Berevity" (he may have meant 'brevity', but he pronounced it 'berevity', I'm not entirely sure). He then was telling me why I was there, and I can't remember what he said, because a question popped up in my head that I wanted to ask. I then asked
"How old am I?"
He seemed a little irritated that I interrupted him, but answered anyway, saying something about 'young', but that's the only word I caught, so I interrupted again and asked
"No, like how old am I?", referring to my soul, not my body, though I didn't specify.
he answered,
"Eight billion, seven hundred trillion."
I liked that answer.

I wish I could recall more of the conversation. There was a reason I was there, but I can't recall what he told me. I feel as if we were walking up the staircase as we talked, or if not, we somehow ended up in the middle of it by the time our conversation was ending.

We were then about to part ways. He started to go up the stairs even more, when I asked him
"Wait! How do I forgive myself?"
He turned back around and looked at me, smiled a genuine smile, and said
"You already have!"
I laughed out loud to express my joy. I was so happy to hear that!

I then woke up briefly, didn't move and went back into a dream. It stayed in blackness for awhile while someone was talking me through it so I wouldn't wake myself prematurely. I then started to have images forming around me, then the dream. I was good now. I started to walk around, feeling something that was there so I could stabalize the dream. I then noticed that I was in a field. It was daytime. I started to walk towards a patch of different colored African violets. There were some black ones, some yellow ones, and I believe some purple ones. I was afraid of being stung by bees at first, but then remembered that it was a dream, and I would be fine. I walked through them, feeling them brush against me, completely unharmed; no bees in sights. I kept walking through the field of flowers and started to weep because it was so beautiful.

I woke up briefly again, feeling as if I really had been crying, but again didn't move and went back into a dream.

This time, I was standing on the edge of a very high cliff. It was daytime and so vivid. Below me was nothing but clouds. I could tell there was a very high wind. To my right, poking through the clouds was a building with columns. Out from the building, there were hundreds of balloons flying out. There were huge patches of them, and then only a few at a time would come out. They were all red, orange, yellow, and black. I decided to try flying into this. I stood at the edge of the cliff, scared at first, but reminded myself that, again, this was a dream, and even if I fell quickly and to my "death", I'd be fine. I put my arms out and let myself fall off the edge. I fell for a bit, but the wind caught me, and I flew.

~

Sorry I haven't been around much. I have other things that I am currently focusing on, and need a break from concentrating on and writing out all my dreams. I have actually had some vivid NLDs lately. I also dreamed more last night, but did not want to type out all the NLDs. This one was a must share. I'll be on occasionally still if I have dreams that are interesting like these were (it will probably mostly be LDs when I have them that I will update with).

Dream - Lucid

I was at work. Everything seemed quite dark. It was very early in the morning. I was working with this guy that came from another department to learn the bakery IWL. I was filling all these drawers that filled up this tall cabinet-looking thing with things we would need for the day. I was trying to go fast because I had a certain amount of time to be finished with it.

I then had to take a break. I went and laid down in a bed for my break. I think I was talking to the guy who was still working as I was falling asleep.

I looked at the clock to check the time, and break was about over. I got out of the bed and continued what I was doing. I then had to go do something else, so the other guy had to take over.
"You know what to do, right?" I asked.
He nodded a yes in response. I hoped he wasn't insulted by my question. I then "remembered" that he did that all the time, so of course he knew how.

I woke up and it was weird; I didn't feel like I had fallen asleep at all. It was only an hour or so later than when I went to bed. I was burning up, so I turned the heat down and went back to sleep.

~

I was in this area, I believe it was a basement, that had these small cages filled with, what I called, "chinchillas", though they looked more like small white mice. There was also one with white cats in it. The chinchillas and the cats were all different sizes; some were big, others were quite small.

I saw that a medium-sized chinchilla had escaped. I went to scoop her up to put her back in the cage. She bit my palm pretty hard, and it hurt! I carried her over the the cages regardless. I then noticed how small the cages really were; they were small and narrow, and the chinchillas were shoved in there so crowded up. There were two cage doors that would slide open and closed, one on each side of the cage. The chinchillas in the cage were trying to escape by sliding the doors open. I put the one back that I had gotten back inside the cage. The others kept trying to escape. I didn't blame them, but I didn't want them to die out there either. I thought about using different primary colored wooden building blocks (ones I had when I was young IWL) to build on some more room. I laid down a few blocks for a foundation when I noticed that another had escaped, this time a much smaller one. I couldn't find where she went, but then, I saw that a medium-sized white cat had also escaped. She was stretching, as cats do. I hoped that the cat didn't eat the chinchilla.

~

I was getting up for work. I was in my room in the house I grew up in. Ugh so early...

I was then at work. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to be helping with. Shannon was there, this other woman, a tall, kind of fat Indian woman, was also there; she was also supposed to be a manager. Christian was there as well, an assistant manager from another store. There were also a couple of regular employees there as well. I knew there was this new thing where I was supposed to move these racks over to this certain area for the managers to transport to another store via driving this weird, short truck. I moved the things that needed to be moved.

I then realized I really needed to pee. There was a bathroom "stall" that looked like the tall racks, only hollow on the inside with a toilet. You could see right into the stall. Ugh...I really needed to go. I made sure no one was paying attention, and I went into the stall. It was very small and cramped, and I could see outside (it was like looking through open blinds). I then saw Christian was there. I quickly pulled up my pants and exited the stall so he wouldn't see. I talked to him for a bit. He was about to drive one of those weird trucks. I had a nervous feeling while talking to him (he is actually pretty attractive IWL [yes I know I'm married; I have no intentions of getting with him], and I can tell he finds me attractive too). He then got in his short little truck and started to drive away. I waved, and another man in another similar looking truck that looked like it had a green interstate sign for the side of the truck waved back. I waved again as Christian's truck went by.

Then, Shannon and the Indian woman pulled up slowly in their truck, very close to me, then drove away. The Indian woman looked at me as they went.

I then wanted to try to pee again. There was this box next to the rack/bathroom stall that looked a little bigger than the rack/stall. I had a feeling you were supposed to push it in there when you wanted to use the bathroom, because then, no one could see you. Someone had already done that, I think it was Nicky. They were in the now covered stall. I still had to pee.

Dream - Lucid

I just recalled a bit of something...another dream about not attending a class that I was enrolled in. I think it was math again. I only remember this detail, all others are very vague pictures. Some kind of ceremony, I think? Maybe graduation? Not entirely sure.

~

I'm not sure where I was, but it was daytime. Dallas was texting me. He was in Oregon. He was saying he may fall down this huge hill. I guess he was hiking and close to a steep hill/ledge. I was worried for him; I hoped he didn't fall. For awhile, I was then not getting any responses from him, and when I'd text him, it would have trouble going through. He must be in a bad reception area. I then tried to call, and it wouldn't go through. I was really starting to get concerned.

I was then in the car, sitting on the passenger's side. Dallas was in the driver's seat, but there was no wheel on his side. I guess I was driving. Anyway, Dallas was sitting there completely naked. He had fallen down the steep hill/ledge. His body was turned in a way where I couldn't see any of his junk. I looked at him, and he looked relatively normal, aside from his front teeth looking like they got banged up, his lip was half normal colored and half a little dark. I was talking to him about us taking him to the hospital, letting his mom know, etc. I also commented on how quickly he got from Oregon to here (it's literally across the country!); I said something about it taking him an hour.

He then told me he didn't think I could handle seeing his injuries. I was talking to him about something when he said this. He turned his body all the way around and...his penis and testicles were completely gone. I tried to keep talking and ignore it, but I couldn't. I was then thinking about some IWL conversations we had about penectomies and how Dallas would fall into a huge depression if that happened. He was telling me it got cut off in the fall, but he couldn't go back and get it. He seemed to be in shock about the whole thing right now, like it wasn't affecting him that badly. I was wondering what they could do for him at the hospital.

I then saw him again at some point, a side view, and it looked like his penis was there after all. It was a very brief view though. I think we were in the hospital.

~

I was going down through the floor, down, down, down into darkness. I realized this wasn't waking life, but it didn't feel like a lucid dream, it honestly felt more like an OBE (for convenience purposes, I'm going to use the color code for my LDs, even though I genuinely do not believe it was a regular LD). I decided that I wanted to see what Hell looked like (I do not believe that heaven and hell are real places, but states of mind and being). In a previous experience some years ago, I was going down into the ground in a similar fashion in an LD, but I was too afraid to see hell, so I went back up. This time, I said to myself that I could handle it; I was ready to see it. I was concerned about waking myself up, but I held it together very well. I then looked down at my body and saw I was naked in the darkness as I descended. Interesting.

I then was in hell. I was in a room where there were these long tables all around the perimeter of the room. There were children who were supposed to be getting their faces painted by adults, but the adults were cutting their faces and painting them with blood. The children were scared and upset. There was a doorway leading into another room. I went into that one. I don't remember what was specifically going on in there, but there were more scared and upset children.

I then was in blackness again, and this feeling of fear and despair came over me. I knew they were not my own feelings, but the feelings pervading this hell. I saw vague shapes in the blackness.

~

I woke up from that last dream and fell asleep again, fully aware that I was going to enter a dream. I was out of my body again. I was in the house I grew up in. I don't remember many details about being in the house, but I then went outside and floated into the air. It was a bright and sunny day. I decided since I had seen hell, it was time to see heaven. I went up, up, up into the air. I then was in this tube that was very vivid. It was covered in light blue squares that had some Disney character's face on them. I went further into the tube and the color changed to yellow with more characters. It kept changing like this until I emerged on the other side.

I was in what looked like the exact same face painting room from hell, except for this time, the kids were really getting their faces painted. They were not scared or sad, but it was a much more calm atmosphere.

Unfortunately, I don't remember any more from this experience. I don't think much happened after that.

I then was back on Earth, outside in the daytime. I was floating, working on the effortless method of just letting it happen, but then I started to go down towards the Earth. I started to make myself float up again, and started to "swim" through the air. I knew that this was not what I had been working on, and it felt like I had more resistance, but it was working. I was swimming upwards and to the left towards the house.

There was a point where I looked in a mirror slightly above me and at an angle, and wanted to make angel wings appear on my back (something I tried to do in a previous LD not long ago), and lo and behold, there they were on my back. They were white and feathered. I smiled; they were beautiful.

~

I was again entering a dream. I felt like I was leaving my body, but appeared in a different room. I saw my sleeping body laying on the bed. It was naked, but in the same position that I fell asleep in. I seemed to be in what looked like a hotel room. Someone else was in there too, though I'm not sure who. They could see me though, which was kind of surprising. I went into the bathroom and floated. Someone else came in, my CS assistant manager, C. She could see me floating in the air! I was surprised that she could see me! I started to do these flips between the walls by the toilet, and she was laughing. I loved it!

~

Caved and took a whole Ambien again last night. -_-; I'm going to take a half tonight, otherwise I'll never get off this stuff. Though the experiences I had were very cool. I never felt like I was lucid dreaming; I felt out of body. It really did feel different. It was quite fascinating!

Dream - Lucid

Alright. So I'm trying to wean myself off of my Ambien. I took a half of one last night and fell asleep no problem, but I woke up at around 2:30am, remembering only fragments about work, and started freaking out a little, thinking I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I took a benedryl and went into the other room (my husband was breathing very heavily in his sleep and it was also keeping me awake). This is what happened after I fell asleep.

I was lucid, but I don't remember if I entered the dream lucid or if I became lucid later. I am having a lot of trouble recalling the specific details of this one, other than we were in a house, and I was trying to cheat on my husband with this guy I knew in middle/high school named Carter H. My husband was around during the dream, and we were trying to avoid him by going into different rooms and such. I do remember at one point Carter expressing how he would treat me well and was excited about being with me. I told him I was excited too. I think I was topless during that part in a bedroom.

There was a point where I was outside in a garden, and I was afraid of losing the dream, so I took some advice from Hyu and started touching everything around me. There were plants in the plowed ground. I touched their leaves, feeling their realness. They felt a little muted, but it wasn't bad. It helped me to stabalize the dream.

This dream was quite long, and I can't recall the little details of it all. It was a very...strange LD for me. I seemed to be in a weird mindset (I would never cheat on my husband IWL, especially with someone I barely know and have no interest in!).

I then woke up.

~

I was in a fairly normal-looking room; nothing weird was going on at all, but I decided to do a nose pinch RC just to keep my awareness up. I did it, and...I could breathe! I was super surprised; I thought I was awake! I think I said "What??" or some kind of exclamation. I did it again just to be sure, and sure enough, I was dreaming.

Spoiler for Explicit content:

Again, all the small details of this one are not coming to me anymore. The only thing I really recall about this one is finally getting to sleep with Carter. I don't know where we were, but we were naked, and he was getting on top of me. I was so excited to sleep with him. He had a big dick. He went in and out a couple of times, and then he was done. I mean literally, in and out, and done. I looked down at his dick and it was very small and flaccid, not even really looking like a dick, more like a finger-shaped flap of skin. It was covered in semen. I "remembered" being told that he was a premature ejaculator. He seemed to have no qualms with the whole thing, not saying a word and just getting up and walking off like it was no big thing. It was a disappointing, anticlimatic sexual experience.

I woke up and wondered why I did something so superficial with these LDs. I wanted to have another one where I summoned Mike or delved into past lives. Sadly, I didn't get to. :/

Again, I would like to reiterate that I really don't have any interest in cheating. I love my husband very much. I am really kind of taken aback by these dreams, especially since I was aware that I was dreaming for them. I'm actually a little embarrassed to post them.

~

I was in a dressing room at a department store. I had these black and white comics that I had made that depicted my cheating LDs. One was only a page long, the other a few pages. I taped them to one of the dressing room doors. I then watched people pick the comics up and read them. Some teenage guys read them and laughed. I left the dressing room for a bit. I didn't really want the comics there anymore. I went back and took them down.

~

I was laying in the guest bed with my husband. We were getting ready to go to sleep. My husband put on one of my sleep shirts similar to one I actually own IWL but not the same. It was black with 3/4 length sleeves and lacy shoulders. It was tight on him, but he didn't seem to mind. I was wondering why he was wearing that (he usually doesn't wear any kind of shirt to bed). I guess he must be anticipating a very cold night. I said something about it being a girl's shirt. Again, he didn't seem to mind.

~

Something to do with typing these entries up and an Animal Crossing game that you could only play with a wireless controller and could only play online for a certain amount of time. I was called by a video/game rental place and was asked if C (the assistant CS manager at my job) was my sibling. I told her no, she was my boss. I thought they asked me to verify the spelling of her name after that, but I couldn't hear them very well.
"What?" I asked.
They said something again, but it didn't sound the same as before.

My DJ entries were all centered and spaced like I was writing them in poetry format. I was typing them up. I didn't want them centered, I don't think.

I then was signing on to play League of Legends. They had really updated the game. My friend Jeremiah was online, and sent me a game request. I was in the middle of doing something else, but I guess I could play a game with him. I accepted his request. I picked my champion, a female one that doesn't exist in the game IWL, and we were then playing. It then looked very cartoony and very much so like FFII graphics. I started getting attacked, but the map controlled so weird. I didn't die, but it was a close call. I went to the settings, and I couldn't change the graphics back; I had to do it outside of game. There were two options I could have picked from, Cartoon or Realistic. It was a new feature that I didn't know about. Cartoon was checked by default. I considered quitting and taking the penalty for it.

~

I seriously felt like I was having fever dreams all night. I'm not sick, no fever or anything, just...what. I don't even know. It probably has something to do with lowering my dose of Ambien and taking that benedryl. It affected my recall as well. I have to stop taking the Ambien though, so my entries may be like this until I even out. I will eventually go down to taking a quarter of an Ambien, then eventually completely being off of it. I am actually happy for that. I miss sleeping naturally; I haven't since November/December of 2011, so for three years.

Dream - Lucid

Something to do with packaging out donuts. When they were all packaged (there were quite a few boxes), I was looking at them, and there were some glazed and chocolate iced french cruellers, which those aren't supposed to be chocolate iced, only glazed. They also looked really wilted and small. I remember seeing one that was small and had just a little chocolate icing on it.

Then, I was designing this roller coaster with my dad in the garage. We were picking out different kinds of track. I remember the train on it also looked very sleek, silver and thin with only one person being able to fit in each car. I was thinking about the fact that we had a roller coaster in our garage. We must be rich. The roller coaster was starting and I got in the front car.

~

I was with Dallas at the house I grew up in. We lived there. It was nighttime. His mom called. She was actually this guy I dated in the 8th's grade mom IWL, but she was Dallas's mom in the dream. I didn't really want to talk to her. She was asking Dallas if we had any mayo or mustard that we could let her borrow for something she was making. I thought that maybe we did. He put the phone down for a bit. I then went to check the fridge. We had a little bit of mayo, maybe half of a jar. I didn't see any mustard. I guess I was going to have to talk to her after all. I went to go pick up the phone to tell her. It was sitting on the counter, but was a spoon instead of a phone? I started to speak.
"Hello?" I said.
She said hello or hey or something.
"We have less than half a jar of mayo and no mustard. I'm sorry, I thought we had some! I guess we used it all!"
She said something else, like that's ok or something. We hung up.

We then, for some reason, were standing at the open front door. Before we could shut it, a blonde little boy, a toddler, ran out. He was running fucking fast, too! Dallas and I went after him. I was running as hard as I possibly could and he was just booking it. I was nowhere near him. He started to go around the house next door. I saw a little alcove with bushes next to the house with a path/shortcut leading to the other side of the house. I could cut him off! I started to run down the path. I was very close to the end, and I saw the little boy stop. I was about to get to the end and get him when this big, tall guy I work with, TJ, stepped in front of me and picked me up. He was talking to me I think, but I don't remember what he was saying. The way his hand was positioned was jabbing into one of my left ribs. It hurt! I tried to get him to move his hand, and I did for a second, but he moved it back, as if he was purposefully pressing on my rib. It really hurt!

~

I dreamed something about Kohl's, though I can't quite recall the details.

~

I was at my grandma's house, though it didn't look like it at all. I was in the guest room getting ready for the day. I was putting on my bra and underwear. My hair was also pulled back. I had a q-tip that I was sticking in my nose? I guess my nose was a little runny or something (still doesn't make sense but whatever). I had to go out into the living room for something. I walked out and saw the back of my grandma's head. She was sitting on the couch watching TV with some coffee in hand. She had on a hat as well. She turned around and said good morning to me. I then looked to my right and saw two little blonde toddlers, a boy and a girl, standing there looking at me. I wasn't sure if I should be out in my underwear, but at least I wasn't naked. I also felt silly with the q-tip, which I had left sticking out of my nose. I pulled it out.

I was then going to put these pastries, an elephant ear and a pecan crispy, on this table that had lots of pecan pastries on it. It had some white and yellow iced donuts as well. As I was looking at them, I was "remembering" what my grandma had said about how she gave birth to donuts before she gave birth to babies (like months before, very early on in the pregnancy). Apparently, this was normal. I was also "remembering" that Sarah, a girl I worked with at Kohl's, had also done that; I was "remembering" her working with me at the bakery too. I was staring at the donuts wondering how the hell your body could make donuts. What kind would they be?

I then figured I needed to put the elephant ear and the crispy into a plastic bag so they didn't go stale. I went and got one and put them in. My grandma was then telling me about how she was sorry she didn't have any plastic tupperware containers because they were all at the old house (which they moved out of 8 years ago IWL). Something about how some doctor lived there temporarily.

My mom was then there, and she asked me if grandma had told me about the donuts. I told her yes.

Dream - Lucid

I was going to get married to my high school boyfriend, Brett. His mom was talking to me about it; she was really excited. I kept thinking that I would rather be with Dallas, but for some reason, I agreed to marry Brett.

We were then in the building we were getting married in. It was a tower. The room we were in was very large and had tall ceilings. There was a very large, almost floor-to-ceiling window to the right. There were very few people there, only immediate family. We were up at the front, about to get married. All the sudden, we heard thunder. We went to look out the window. It was nighttime, and you could see many other towers outside the window, as if we were in a city. There was then a very large bolt of lightning. The thunder coincided with it, however, it struck a tower that was in front of us, and the thunder just...stopped. It was like it hitting the building muted it. I think it had something to do with the sound barrier. The tower that was hit started to crumble. It then started to collapse. It was hitting a tower directly beside it as well, which was making it fall too. One of the towers then started to lean towards our window! I thought for sure we were done for; this was the end. My mom started to yell
"We're gonna die! We're gonna die!"
The top of the tower then came crashing through the large window we were observing from. I noticed my brother was in the path of it, and I tackled him out of the way. The tower crashed down inside the building, crushing Brett and his family, but my mom, brother, a random guy, and I were all safe.

I then replayed this scene over again for some reason. I already knew what was going to happen the second time around. Nothing changed except for the fact that I already knew what was going to happen.

This dream was very intense and vivid. The feeling of being scared, about to die and accepting it is really powerful. As soon as I woke up, I had the urge to wake my husband up and tell him about it, but I let him sleep.

~

I was in this area that was just a lot of rooms. It's like the rooms were many room-sized stalls lined up. They didn't have a ceiling. In my room, I was getting provocative pictures taken of me by a young, blonde female photographer. I believe it was nighttime. We took a break from it, and I left my room and saw that next door, Ceejay, this girl I used to work with at Kohl's, was also getting provocative pictures taken of her. She was naked and sitting on the floor. There was a huge glob of yellow-tinted (I assumed it was used) lube sitting on a pillow next to her. She was talking to me, and I kept looking at the gross lube.

Then, this tall, sturdily built blonde woman who was supposed to be my mom, looked into my room and saw the photographer and all the equipment. She was a very conservative woman, so I knew she'd be pissed. After a few minutes, I ran into her, and she told me that she told the photographer to go home. She said other things, but I can't remember. She was stern about it. I'm sure at some point she told me not to do that, blah blah blah whatever.

So anyway, she left, and I saw my photographer walking by. I wanted to stop her and tell her to stay. I don't think I did. I then was thinking about how I didn't normally like to get my picture taken, but if it was a provocative photo, I enjoyed it.

~

Dallas and I had just gotten back from being out all day. It was my day off. I was playing some game though I don't remember much about it. I was then thinking about how I had picked up a shift at work that night. Why had I agreed to do that? I then couldn't remember what time I had agreed to. Was it 5? 6? 7? I then saw it written down on a piece of paper. I still couldn't tell if it was 5, 6, or 7. I looked at the clock and it was past 5, but I was then pretty sure it was 6. Boo that.

I then was in this hospital room with Dallas. It was a very large hospital room with many beds lined up. The lights were half off and no one was in the room but us. I walked down to the 4th bed down and started telling Dallas about how I was in that bed one night when I was having very bad stomach pains. The doctors checked me out and I was fine, so they sent me home. I "remembered" a guy being in the bed to my right.

I then was at the bakery with Dallas. I wasn't on the clock; I was honestly hoping that they would forget that I agreed to come in that night. The manager, Shannon, was there by herself. We got to talking. She was being very nice to me. I then made a comment about her being there all the time. She then said something about me being there all the time.
"The kids would like it if you were here all the time," she said.
It made me really happy to hear her say that. I must be good at talking to the kids who come up wanting free cookies.

Dream - Lucid

I was going into a math class. It was the last day of the semester (not sure if it was high school or college). As I was walking in, I couldn't remember if I had gone to this class during the semester more than a few times. I was thinking about the grades she had posted for me, and there were some holes and about as many grades. Ugh what was I gonna do?

I sat down and there was a shorter, kind of stout black woman teaching the class. She was very lax and laid back. I was starting to wonder if she had even held class for half the semester. She handed out a test, our last one of the semester. It was a multiple choice test. The questions had little to no math relevancy. I don't remember them specifically right now, but the first one had some numbers in it, but the question was silly, and the next ones just had nothing to do with math at all. Man, this teacher must not care at all. I then "remembered" taking another test like that with her before and getting a bunch of them wrong. It didn't seem like there should really be any wrong answers since it was so silly...

I later saw the teacher somewhere outside of class. Also, something about writing two papers on two different books or pieces of writing. It was and extra credit assignment for the math class. I wasn't sure if I needed it or not, but I wasn't going to take my chances. I couldn't decide which one I wanted to choose to write on for the second one (I had already picked the first out). I'd start writing in purple sharpie, but then I'd scribble it out. I asked someone, maybe the teacher, about what I should do. She gave me some suggestions on what pieces to write about.

Then, something about Dallas and I having had a baby, a girl. Someone else was taking care of her, my mom I think. The baby then decided that she didn't want to be here anymore, and wanted to start over again from a newborn. I think she got really depressed about something. So she did that, and was an infant again. I then was wondering if Dallas and I should keep trying to have a baby since we had one already apparently. I then went to go see my daughter. I asked someone where she was and they told me that Debbie was watching her. I started to go down into this basement area that was supposed to be the break room at Kohl's, either down some stairs or a ladder. I started to see the tops and backs of these ladies' heads. They were two very gossipy ladies at Kohl's. They were sitting down on the couch watching TV. I didn't really want to interact with them, though Debbie was their friend. I went down there all the way. I saw that it looked as if some of them literally were living in the break room. Interesting. I didn't see Debbie or the baby anywhere. I then asked someone something. I then saw this pink dollhouse/cage thing that had plastic, interchangeable cribs in it. I was flipping through the different ones, watching them come up through the floor (I think I was pushing a button to change them out), when I heard R's voice. She is a lady that I work with at the bakery. She was saying "Sen and Simpy! Sen and Simpy!" (meaning Ren and Stimpy). She was talking about the themes of the cribs they were using for the baby. I kept flipping through them and didn't see any like that, though sometimes, two cribs would pop up, and then five.

Dream - Lucid

I was laying in my parents' bed on my dad's side in the house I grew up in. I kept looking at the clock, waiting for when I had to get up. My friend, Mk's dad, was in the house for some reason. He came in the room and was talking to me. I was kind of uncomfortable. He came in the room and talked to me.

I was thinking about which work I was going to. Was in the bakery, or the coffee shop? I "remembered" that my old boss from the coffee shop said I could go back there any time, and she was going to schedule me for Thursday (which was the current day in the dream). I never got a solid confirmation that she was going to do that, and I hadn't worked at that shop in so long, I didn't know what to do. I looked at the clock and it was after 5am. It was getting too late for me to go anyway. I decided to stay home.

I was then at a restaurant at Disney with my brother and I think his fiance? We were in a restaurant. We were then in this place that was holding some sort of scary Halloween show. I didn't want to stay there, so I left. I was then going down some stairs/a ramp (can't recall which). All these moving walkways were coming off of the stairs/ramp going out to the left and right. There were people on the walkways. It was some attraction at Disney that had been modified for Halloween. The employees on the walkways would get you from the main staircase/ramp as they were about to pass you and take you on their moving walkway with them and guide you through the now haunted attraction. I was leaving and alone, so I didn't want to go. I avoided getting the attention of any employees.

When I got to the bottom and close to the door, I decided I did want to go on it after all. I thought I saw my brother coming in through the door, which would be great because he could go with me, but it turned out to be someone else. I turned around to look at the stairs/ramp and the moving walkways. I watched an employee come up behind a black man and get behind him as he moved onto the moving walkway. He hadn't seemed to have startled him.

~

Barely slept, got up around 4am for work. Gotta do the same thing again tomorrow. -_-;

Dream - Lucid

I was trying to get something on my computer. Kayla was trying to tell me what to download. I think I ended up downloading some sort of virus. Someone helped me to get what I what I was actually looking for.

I was then riding on some sort of scooter thing with Chris and this cartoony-looking chameleon. I was wondering if I was engaged to Chris.