Nazrax

Third-person Missed opportunity

Fat Darth Vader
I'm watching people in a huge space. The floor and walls are a shiny black material laced with silver stripes, rather reminiscent of the Grid in Tron. Something comes up about a "fat Darth Vader," that he may not look very graceful, but he's still very dangerous.

Now I see him. He's got a huge beer gut and looks like he's wearing an off-the-shelf costume. Oddly, the cape has a hint of purple to it. Now, a young Obi-Wan is there. He looks in his late teens, and he has bright red hair. He cheekily tries to rile up Vader: "Can you knock me down?" Vader uses the force to cause Obi-Wan pain. The ground flashes to bright white, and Obi-wan drops to the ground and gasps out "Good enough." Obi-wan does a terrible wall jump, then asks if Vader can do it. He jumps and swings his blade under his feet.

Now, instead of watching live action, I'm watching badly drawn animation. Anything Obi-wan's red beard/hair touches starts to smolder, and somehow he keeps getting close enough to Vader and his guards to keep singeing them.


Iron Man fail
A very limited Iron Man suit, not designed for actual use, is on display at an arena. Stark ends up using it anyway. Its battery only has six charges, and they run out when he' s sixty thousand feet in the air. As he's falling to his death, he comes up with some way to use the fall to get just enough charge to save himself at the last moment. After he's safe, he does something else completely recklesss, runs out of power again at nine hundred thousand feet, and manages once again to get to safety. Now he has a cold from the crazy altitude/pressure shifts in a poorly sealed suit.


School bus
My wife is driving a school bus, and I'm the passenger seat(?). She pulls into the school's parking area, through the bus area, and turns around. She slides her window open and asks the nearby bus coordinator if she's needed today. Unexpectedly, she is. The coordinator tells her she's needed in ???. My wife hasn't gone there before and asks for a map. The coordinator doesn't have one on her but tells my wife she can go inside to get one. While I'm waiting for her to come back, I'm trying to pull up directions on my tablet. I see my brother-in-law going by the driver's window and reach out to shake his hand. As I'm shaking his hand, I almost make him fall; I realize he must be skating.

Now my wife and I are in a room somewhere. I'm sure it's Monday, but she's sure it's Tuesday. I'm worried, since there were things I was supposed to be doing on Tuesday. Eventually I pull out my phone and see it's Monday.


Political bibs
I've received a four pack of bibs from by old boss' bodyguard. The bibs are heavily political, extremely right wing, talking about the failures of our government, making snide comments about California, but also making an offhand comment that it probably won't be around in another two weeks. My wife's more up-to-date on political matters than I am, so I ask her about the bibs, and she says they're pretty accurate, even about California going away, and is amazed I haven't heard this stuff before.

Now there's something about using cloth diapers. She's getting ready to change a baby, but it's not one of ours.


Food court
I'm walking with my pastor, going to a food court. We're in a multi-story building, near the top; the food court is on the ground floor. We're taking the stairs down. I take particular note that each landing has an oversized trash can on it. The doors into the hallways off of the landings are locked; I realize that's to give the dorm residents privacy.

Now we're in the food court, in line, talking with a few older guys my pastor knows. The tables in the court are mostly empty, and the line is short: we're almost at the food, and there's only one more group behind us. Now we've reached the food and have started filling our plates. One of the guys advises us that the meat is the best option. I wonder how full I can fill my plate, and somehow I know (or remember) that there's a half-ton weight limit.

Now I'm at a table, trying to eat my food. I got a lot of sliced ham, but the quality is terrible. There's more fat than meat, and I'm having a tough time separating the two. A guy at the table is reading the newspaper. On the front cover, I see a picture of an old guy with a cane that doubles as a light-saber.


Helping at the Chinese restaurant
I'm walking along the street with a group of friends. One guy is leading us to a restaurant he knows about. Now we're inside, sitting at table near the door. For a restaurant, the room is fairly small. The room is colorful - mostly red. The back wall is taken up with kitchen stuff; there's no wall or other barrier between it and the dining area.

They seem to be understaffed. The cook looks towards us and says that I look helpful and asks me to help with something. I'm unsure, but I get up and go over to him. To the left of the kitchen counter (stainless steel), I see a sink, so I go over and wash my hands. The sink has stuff around it, so it's hard to get to, and I have to reach way down to get to it - it's set way down into the counter. Though the handle (of the single stick variety) is slightly on the cold side, I'm surprised the water is uncomfortably hot.

Once my hands are clean, I ask what he needs. A woman comes over, hands me a large mug of brewing tea, and explains that I need to set it on the hearth for two minutes, then pour it through a filter into another mug. Now we're in the storeroom, looking for a second mug. The one I'm holding is one of my own large white-and-blue ones; none of the other ones in the mug cabinet are as large, so I think it'll overflow, but she's not worried. I finally find another large one; the design is different, but it should hold all the tea. I start to ask where the hearth is, but then I remember there's a fireplace near the door. We spent a while looking for a mug, so I ask her if the two minutes haven't already passed, but she says they haven't: it only counts when the mug is on the hearth. She's pleased and says they need to refund some of my credit card bill. I think it's odd that she spoke of my "credit card bill" in that way but don't think more about it.

Now I'm near the fireplace. There's a cheap folding table right in front of it. At first, I consider crawling under it to get to the hearth, but I decide just to move the table. I put the mug down and start counting my two minutes. A foreign (eastern European?) family comes in while I'm waiting: parents and a young son, around 5 years old.

Now I'm back at my table. Everyone else has been served their food and is eating. At my place is something that looks tasty but is more the size of an appetizer. I'll still need to order my real meal; I hope it doesn't take too long to arrive.


Twisted costume
My wife is walking down the street in a giant head Halloween costume. It's become twisted and she's having trouble seeing out of it. She manages to get it untwisted and can see out the front again.