NyxCC

Before sleep: felt like listening to relaxing music when falling asleep but decided to turn it off. Big mistake, was way too awake and my mind decided it was time to torture me with worries about an incoming situation irl. I managed to convince myself I am not interested in its worries tonight, and started day dreaming more pleasant situations instead. 2 hours went by before I felt asleep…

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

Dream recall techniques: tired and lazy tonight, so none

First Regular Dream: No DJ entry. Woke up around 3 hrs after falling asleep, went to toilet and repeated two times the key word which was supposed to unravel the dream. Was really sleepy and did not turn on tablet to write down, which I should have done, because I couldn’t remember anything from this dream when waking up 4 hrs later.

Snooze dreams: I wanted to sleep, felt really tired, but I also wanted to lucid, so I switched between setting the alarm clock for 20 more minutes or just pressing the snooze button.

Snooze dream1: Me and some classmates were in a building, which later feels more like a mall. I remember in the dream that there is a place in the mall, where they sell really attractive cupcakes/brownies, etc. I am interacting with my friends and I dream some toilets as per dream tradition.

Snooze dream2: The building I am in feels like some kind of hospital in space, maybe spaceship. The atmosphere is very dynamic because it is part of the “Aliens” game that I am playing in the dream. This is very similar to previous dreams I had. [I haven’t played “aliens” for years and after so many paranoid dreams I am surely not buying the new one!] The room door in front of me will open any minute, somebody is counting down, and there are lots of aliens waiting to jump on me. Just great! I try running away from them, rushing to a room, closing the door. They are coming! I try to open the window and jump from it. It is very high and I fall, I fail to hold on to any branches of a nearby tree and keep on falling. But I guess, my attention is not programmed to hit the ground, so it happens as if I really managed to grab some branches and am hanging in the air. I feel gravity in a really strange way as I am completely disoriented as to in which direction the ground is. The aliens are probably climbing the building so they will reach me soon.

I wake up putting the alarm for some 20 mins later and think I want to WILD. I feel very sleepy but I try to keep myself awake, staring at the blackness in front of me, keeping the intention to have a lucid. I didn’t notice when I fell asleep.

Snooze dream3 - DILD: The scenario where the aliens are coming continues, but this time I am at my old place, in my room. A transparent guy, I can only see the contours of his body, walks in the room. At first I think he will chase me, but then he turns into a friend from school. I have the urge to kiss him, and well, I do. The paranoia returns and I feel the presence of aliens or whatever is after me behind the room door. There is only one way out now – the balcony. I head for the balcony, and as I cross and have the view of the balcony in front of me, I become aware that I am dreaming. I repeat that I am dreaming in my mind, to be sure that I don’t reintegrate in the dream and lose awareness. Ok, great, but there is this thing that I still feel is coming. Would it stop doing that? I kind of know that I am causing its behaviour with my thoughts, so I try to make it disappear. Does not work. I continue down the balcony, which is really long. I think that if I ignore it, it may not be there, but then I turn my back and there it is. The chaser is now an old rasta man that feels somewhat ominous to me. I mumble that I want him to go away, no effect again. I am reaching the end of the balcony, the corner of the building. I try to think of alternatives of how to deal with the situation. At that very moment the damn alarm clock starts ringing. I am extremely annoyed at this, I really don’t want to wake up now, argh! Perhaps my anger turned to determination not to wake up and I managed to hold the dream and me there as I heard the alarm clock resonating everywhere. No idea how long that was, but it eventually stopped. [I have never attempted to ignore an alarm clock before, neither have I noticed that it stops because I always wake up and turn it off]
Still on the edge of the balcony, thinking what to do, I see the old rasta advancing, and consider the option of jumping off the building. I know that I will be fine, but when I think about down, I don’t turn my head, just think, I see blackness and I am concerned that I will probably lose it, because the scene will change. “Try to think of a scene to land in”, I think but this is way too complicated. I decide to jump anyways. I am standing at the edge of the balcony and the soles of my bare feet are half way through the air. I do not feel stable enough underneath to be able to perform a jump movement and to launch myself. The dream slips away and I wake up.

Comments: Chasers can be really annoying when you LD. I had some tasks in mind but I really can’t do anything when I feel compelled to run away. Is there any reliable and efficient way to get rid those cheeky entities that prevent you from doing other planned LD actions? Fighting them is way too distracting and making them disappear does not always work. Any tips?

Before sleep: no dream yoga white “a” this time, just gently following breath

First dream: about 5 hrs after falling asleep

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Dream recall techniques today: Dr1&Dr2 – played dream 2 times in mind to remember; Dr3-Dr6 – woke up and tried to commit to memory by intending [risky for dream recall but worked today]

WILD attempt: nope, just wanted to watch dream TV

Dream1: Scientists are discussing some chemical which is dangerous to the human health. I am in a dark closed space with a scientist, or is he me? At any rate, the tube that was supposed to hold this chemical in place is getting loose, so the chemical escapes and starts to mix with the air. I know what that means, soon he will die, so nasty side effects begin on his body. While this chemical element is quite dangerous it has wide applications. Actually, it is pretty common on the planet of interest. I am looking at a habitable planet, which I feel is much bigger than Earth. So this planet has potential to be populated by humans, and this chemical can produce huge quantities of energy. I see a small moon, which has water and clouds on the surface. I also see some kind of transparent strings with magnetic pull as the moon moves through space. The habitable planet is a really beautiful place, although there are no humans in it, (or probably because of it the nature is very beautiful. I almost zoom in, to look at the trees. Next thing I know:

Dream2 [Behaving Lucid]: Next thing I know, I am staring at the trees in front of the window of my first home. It is snowing outside. I look outside the balcony and find myself on the street. I walk down the street, which I perceive as if I am lucid. Basically, I feel awake, I know I am watching this, and I am not really there, so I continue the tour of the neighbourhood. I look around as much as possible, and I go back in front of my old place. I have the desire to explore people’s apartments around so I look for an apartment to go to. I think I might explore my old place, but decide against it. I clearly see the whole building and the apartments of neighbours, I ponder whether I should visit my neighbours’s place, but the old woman that lived there died a few years ago irl, so I am afraid I might encounter her inside. I continue looking around. It is an early morning and people are still sleeping, few lights are on. I decide I want to go to a place where the lights are on and find a suitable apartment. I open a window to see if I can go inside. Everything is really solid, and I must enter with my entire body, I realize I cannot squeeze in, or imagine myself there. I wonder how to get in, but I start to feel my bladder getting really full and I cannot concentrate anymore, so I just wake up.

Lucid or not lucid? I decide to classify this as a non-lucid, because I lack the official initial realization of aha, I am dreaming. However, my behaviour is exactly what I would do if I were lucid, explore around and try to hold the dream. Another notable feature of this dream is that it was free of any DCs, what I really like in some LDs.

Woke up after the dream rather happy, re-lived the whole thing two times, no notes this time. Had some trouble falling asleep , but was too lazy to try to WILD.

Dream3: I am in the suburbs, noticing the houses and remembering how the DCs there had some trouble there some dream time ago. Suddenly, there is a loud noise, energy, burning sensation as something passes by and explodes in the sky. I decide it is a meteorite. I have mild burns/scars on my body. I go to a house and find a politician there. I tell him about the meteorite and look at my hands (!that was close), purple scars are still there. It’s nothing too serious or unpleasant looking though. At this point the politician turns into Santa, he even has a beard! There is elation in the air and I throw fake snow above our heads which I really enjoy doing. He even gives me a present, a tea set, which has some flowers instead of tea to be drank. I happily play with it.

Dream4: Almost like a continuation from dream3, as I am sitting, exploring the tea set, the scene around me changes. We are waiting to select a menu. There are some snobbish older women around and my mom as well as this happens. So, there is some kind of event tomorrow, and every guest can pre-select what exquisite meal he/she likes, and I am waiting my turn to do so. Before I do that the older women also select spa procedures, going for a special moisture mask. I don’t want to do it, so my mom starts giving me advice, selecting for me. This annoys me and I behave in a way that is inappropriate in front of these high individuals (I was just being annoyed and rude, nothing much really). This disappoints my father who then enters one of his special disapproval moods. We go back home (unknown one) with my parents where the story continues.

Dream5: As I am thinking how to prepare for the event, I would bring my own shampoo, do my hair, and not use the spa offered to the other special guests, a friend of mine appears in the house. I decide to tell him some secrets about dreaming? or meditation, which I don’t recall at all, and tell him not to tell my bf I told him this.

Dream6: Still in the house, I face my mom and tell her I don’t like her selecting things for me, there is tension in the air. I want to call my bf to complain. As I am calling, I find myself on the streets of some western looking city. As I talk on the phone a famous artist passes by. I can’t believe it, it’s “A”. The name of the artist is “A”, which people around her repeat like “eah”. This is really funny, they sing it, introducing her. I take my camera and take pics of her. I then call my bf and tell him that I saw her, watching the video record. A second of doubt there, a famous person, maybe a dream, but that can’t be there really is an artist “A” [Oh, come on!]

Dream7 [snooze]: I watch something like age of empires/civilization game, my people being the blue ones, and the opponent is red. Time moves really fast and I see how my guys and buildings become fewer. As I look around, I see that the opponent has the whole map, and has entered modern era, there is no chance for me to win. [Boring stuff, I know]. What really happens is that I zoom out and the modern era is really a real world street and there are some military trucks, and just trucks. I am sure the enemy notices me and that is the end, so I just tease him to act and push those trucks on me and get it over with. He finally does so, and to my content, I feel the heavy pressure of trucks on top of me, and wake up.

Final notes: When I was younger, I had the impression that a lot of my dreams would just flow one after the other, with some weak connection in the storyline (like above). Nowadays, my dreams are usually separate scenarios. Perhaps my desire to remember each after shortly awakening resulted in DEI N LD?

Despite my increased motivation to LD, the recent two weeks have not delivered to my perhaps unrealistic expectations, so I decided it’s time to analyze what has been happening.

Negatives:
- Sleep schedule disruptions: unfortunately guest stay-over during the weekends (on bf’s initiative) means having exhilarating conversations up to 2 am, then listening to bed preparations, and I fall asleep at 4-5 am. Obviously, this makes it harder to wake up early, and go to bed early, and this is spiralling into the week.
- Increased sugar intake: I have been very tired last couple of days, mostly like because of the above reasons, but I’m thinking that eating some ultra sweet desserts before bed in the last few evenings has contributed to this. Don’t usually consume that much sugar and this dehydrates and exhausts me.
- Reduced physical activity: have not touched dumbbells/jogging, etc., really don’t feel like moving at all! I probably should go back to exercising, this does help my sleep and improves my mood. Just do it!

Positives:
-RCs: after registering at DV, I have been doing a nice amount of RCs, including starting the day with a RC
-DJ: I keep the tablet near my bed, so it’s pretty fast & easy to jot down any dreams
-Sleep recall: I have been writing down dreams every day, even if it’s just fragments, and that helps me remember more
-Just let it be: I try to have a positive attitude, perhaps my body is tired and needs more sleep, so I just let myself recharge, confident that things will eventually align
-Dream Yoga: as mentioned before I was conducting the experiment, having to fall asleep, while concentrating on a white letter ”a” on the area below navel for seven days in a row. That helps me fall asleep faster, plus usually helps with LDs, so I think I will try to incorporate it into my every night routine.

19 March Dream Fragments

As mentioned, was really exhausted last few days, so I slept like a log, didn’t even wake up to go to toilet.  After waking up still tired as hell, I couldn’t remember anything. I was beginning to get rather pissed off, but did a RC anyways. I also repeated my DS – there are lots them. If not anything else, I catch the feeling that I dreamt 3 DS, I sit on the sofa and try to concentrate (got interrupted by a phone call and conversation in the process).

Dream1 [Fragment]: I am at my grandma’s apartment(DS). She is also there and plans on going to the city center with the tram. I tell her that she will be really uncomfortable in the tram, taking into consideration the way she is dressed. She wears a green sweater, similar to one I had but never wore in the past, and she has a semi-transparent red-orange blouse from a lighter material over the sweater, so basically these are reverse and I tell her that she needs to change, so that she is more flexible in the public transportation. [there was more I can’t remember]

Dream2: I am in my first school (DS) and a schoolmate (DS) from there tells me he wants to find our teacher from second grade. We go into one of the classrooms (I am always amazed IRL at how accurately I remember my schools in dreams!), looking for our teacher. She is behind the teacher desk, her hair has greyed, she behaves like a puppet. I tell her that my schoolmate was looking for her and wants to send his regards to her. While I am saying this, she behaves like a robot, doesn’t even look at me, but continues writing down on some document, which she signs, and perhaps tries to pass to me. We leave the room and I continue in the corridor, towards the school gym. In the corridor are two girls from my high school (DS). They are happy to see each other, talking to each other. I remember during the dream that they are good friends. I continue towards the gym and see some more girls from high school. A narrator’s voice is telling me something about the two girls, how the mood of the one was actually influencing the behaviour of the other all the time, or something like this.

Dream 3 [DS recall only] – I am sure that I dreamt the guy from high school, that I called main DC in the previous DJ post…

Experiment night 3/7
Experiment: falling asleep while imagining a white letter “a” on area below navel (from dream yoga book). Usual effects for me – increased dream vividness and a greater chance of LD

This evening: somewhat hard to concentrate on the white “a”, some trouble falling asleep after a rather heavy meal. Nevertheless, the first dream was quite strong and detailed, perhaps about 5 hrs after sleep onset.

Dream 1: I was in what looked similar to my grandmother’s building, and it turns out this very important for me irl person, a main DC now lives. I am going up and down the stairs, in the hope that I will finally meet him along the way, but he is not there. I leave the building, standing on the stairs that lead outside, looking at a person that is walking down the street. At first I don’t recognize him, he is wearing a white hat or strange blouse, but then I finally see that it is the DCs I was waiting for. As if this were a real life situation, I try to hide my excitement of seeing him (haven’t seen him for 12 years irl) my eyes shyly looking to my left, then allowing myself to smile and going to greet him. He is being polite, greets me, and says that he hasn’t seen me for a year. “Well, it’s because I don’t live here anymore”, I reply. He makes some remarks about different countries which make no sense at all, I correct him with my knowledge, which by the way is also wrong. Then, the conversation seems to be over for him and he likes to continue on his way. “Wait, why don’t you tell me what you have been up to these days”? I really don’t wanna let him go. I pat him on the cheek the way I do with my bf. That is really strange and embarrasses me, I begin to apologise myself, and then, I do it again! I tell him that I pat my bf the same way, he reacts in some strange way, and his face starts to distort and now he has some facial features similar to my bf. I am quite worried about what he thinks about me in this dream and apologize for my weirdness again and try to change the subject. [end]

8:30 Our neighbours wake me up. I write down this dream and I decide I will try to WILD at 8:50. First WILD attempt ever. Initially, I was too alert, a lot of thoughts in my head, then I finally manage to relax with some nice thoughts. I wake up at 10:35 - WILD fail. I remember a dream but decide against writing it down because that will wake me up too much. I try DEILD. DEILD fail. I continue sleeping. BF is already up, walking around.

12:30 – I finally wake up, disappointed, and I have no recall of any dreams whatsoever. I isolate myself with my notes and want to remember. Nothing. Did I dream about a school? Yes! Finally, some fragments begin to emerge:

Dream2: This was the one immediately after the WILD attempt. It was the first day of school for the year and I am in my high school (DS). My mom is with me and I don’t like that. I try to send her away, telling her that I am going to class. She leaves the building. I have other plans too and leave the building, looking for someone familiar outside. There are fewer people than I expect. Some guys are playing, throwing a tennis ball that lands in my hands, I awkwardly toss it back, having trouble controlling my movement, it goes in the wrong direction, but they manage to catch it. I wake and know that I have failed the WILD.

Dream3: [Fragment]After watching some factories, I hear my friend DC from school (DS) tell me some arguments about China. He says that they had a country only for 80 years or something like that. He was discussing the development. I told him that he is wrong, and there had been China, for some 5000 years, though not in its present form. Tribes and clans that have come together and apart over time. I tell him that some 3000 years BC the Chinese were already highly advanced, and I refer to a pottery that exists irl (I saw on wiki December 2011), that he can check online if he doesn’t believe me. I feel guilty for arguing with such a fervor with him…

Dream4: There is some kind of international festival, where young girls wear national traditional dresses. I am looking around, and become part of an “active audience”, which is part of the set. There is a cupboard with some objects that faces the stage, rather than the audience. This is where I stand. I start messing with the objects that are placed on the cupboard. There is a miniature watch, which literally falls apart in my hands. I try to fix it, but small parts keep falling to places that I can’t even reach. I try making the watch or whatever it is stay in one place, then I hide it somewhere at the back. I look at the objects on the cupboard, I made such a mess there, I feel embarrassed, hoping that no one will notice and that this does not influence the play in any negative way. A DC woman with authority comes and looks at the mess. She doesn’t notice anything out of order and I feel relieved. She is more concerned with finding some suspicious individuals, a renaissance picture and a news article is presented to me. It tells briefly the story of three pirates, a man and two women, one of them, I identify as myself. The DC woman tells me that these are dangerous and it is possible that they are around. I become worried that she might discover my true identity, but luckily she doesn’t. The performance is about to begin. Now it is more like a theatre act than a dancing performance. I make remarks that it isn’t the plot? that people are here to follow, but rather the performance and play of actors. That’s what it is all about.

Dream5: I was talking to a DC real estate agent. He looked at the nearby river and found it really disgusting. He said that he would never live near a place like that. I agreed with him and told him that I felt sick from the river. I would rather live somewhere high up the mountains. I looked and there was a green-yellow hill with some houses on it. Some misty clouds were over the hill. I would rather live there, I thought. Then I fly/zoom over the hill, looking for a place where we could move to. I reach some kind of city suburbs, with strange buildings, not industrial, but rather they look like some past communist memorials. I remember in the dream that this was exactly the path of the processions from the day before that I saw on dream TV. (fake memory?) In front of the memorial are some Czech enthusiastic young people, they are members of a youth communist organization and seem to be celebrating. I try communicating with them in an eastern European language that I make up at the moment, something like eastern European Esperanto. [end] The movie that my bf is watching in the other room is getting too loud and I finally wake up.

Mood after Dr1 Wake: Sad
Mood after final wake: A bit irritated with myself as no LD, and initially no memory of dreams

Dream1: I was strolling in this large park, the plan of which was similar the one I went to when I was a child. I can remember that I do go back to this park quite a lot in my dreams, though I can’t seem to find any entries about it in my DJs. I enjoy the scenery in the park, it feels as if summer is just turning into autumn, with some of the leaves already looking rusty. I see this pond and there are some frogs around at the edges. I know in the dream that these frogs are dying out and will soon become extinct, there will be no more frogs there. That makes me feel sad. I think I fly over the pond, because I cross it without stepping on the water, or maybe I just zoom in, looking at frogs of various sizes. I decide then to move on, moving along the edges of the pond. Now, I seem to struggle a bit because there are some rocks that are hard to climb, or maybe steps, these seem man-made and of concrete. I look and to my left side there is something like a concrete cage where there are supposed to be some pigeons. This is starting to look more like a zoo, but just the section where a particular animal is kept. And right there is the animal – a tiger. He is being held by something like a strap, I cannot see it, because I see only part of the tiger outside, his head and neck. There is something purposely put on his eyes so he cannot see me. All I want to do is cross and move over to wherever it is that I am going, but this tiger is here. He can hear and smell me, and is on the verge of jumping on me. While naturally disturbed, this is nothing like the paranoia of the previous night. Yet, I am cautious, trying to get out of there as fast as possible. After I looked away from the tiger the surroundings incorporated some housing blocks, yet there still were elements of a zoo present. I started climbing upwards on a fence, which was supposed to protect people from the animals, as it had electricity running through it. Didn’t feel anything of the sort. Around me, quite close were at least 2 lions casually lying on their sides. I managed to reach the top of building and someone threw my hat back down where the lions were. Now, I had to go down and get it back, which I did, because it was separated by some kind of plastic, so it was actually above the lions. (Animals are supposed to be a DS for me, but it hasn’t filtered through my subcon yet)

Dream 2: After watching a demo of Simcity5 a few days ago, my brain seems to have remembered the shape in which the guy in YouTube built his roads. In my dreams the shape was actually a modern railroad that I watched as if it were a map of China, yet real one, so this railroad connected the southern part of China with Beijing. I have never been to Beijing, and in my dream I was not planning on going there. But there was the possibility to have a peek through the railroad, and that’s what I was doing. So, travelling over the country, I was now facing Beijing. Think there was a sign in English. Initially, it looked really beautiful, around this building was the Chinese countryside, greenery all around, and the air was rather pleasant. Then I focused on Beijing, it was a yellow administrative building, that didn’t make much sense. I wanted to take some pictures, but this Chinese woman with her 20 something daughter already took 8 pictures, they were standing in front of Beijing. I told her that she has taken enough pics, and to go away because I hadn’t taken any pics yet. Then I went back to the subway, which was quite unpleasant. There was very little space inside, it was really tight more like a mining tunnel than a subway. There were also lots of people. This Chinese guy kept on following me, trying to convince me to taste some kind of dry round piece of food, which I did not want to consume. I was getting claustrophobic with the little space, too many stairs to walk, and the crowds everywhere. I think it was my alarm clock that put an end to this.

Mood after final waking: Pleasant, relaxed, satisfied.

After going to bed late and waking up quite late during the weekend, I decided to restart my biological clock, taking melatonin supplement (3mg also has a small amount of B6). It turned out to be quite a vivid night and morning after, some brief LD including.

Dream1: So, I in my dream me and some other DC were running away as fast as we could from this other person, DC, that morphed into a guy from my uni. We were running inside a building but then we reached a dead end, there was no door to go through, so we just had to go back. There the DC chaser was standing blocking something that looked like a sliding door from my wardrobe years ago. After finding a card on which some numbers appeared, I assumed these numbers were pointing to some kind of exit. I entered into a room which initially was a toilet (subconscious giving me signs again), with numbers above the different sections. A guy came in and I let him have his privacy. It turned out that the number was hanging above one of the toilet seats. How am I supposed to run away passing through it? (Though I’ve done so one or two times). At this time, the room transforms completely, and there is a bed where the toilets used to be. I feel that the chaser is coming as I try to close the door to the room. The other guy that was doing his job in the toilet starts to act creepy and roars, which really has a terrifying effect on me. Then, I remember that I should have more confidence when I am chased, so I try to overcome my fear and send a ripple of “go-away” intention. Though it was a very weak ripple, it seems to have worked, because both nasty characters suddenly disappear. I try to barricade myself in the room by putting some chairs against the door. I continue to have the feeling that he is coming. Then I manage to awaken from this unpleasant dream.

Dream2: I was walking down a western-looking city, which in my mind was Cologne. As I was pondering how much the place has changed, I ran into an old friend from school. We happily greeted each other, and then I continued on my way. I was going down the street, looking at some street stalls, where they were selling really beautiful and strange looking scarves. I wanted to buy one, and it was quite cheap, some cost 7, some cost 8, written as large numbers in front of them. I continued walking, the street seemed to be elevated, and it became darker towards the end, I guess I continued walking till I had entered a building at the end of the street. I was inside a home, when I realized I was dreaming. I just looked around what seemed to be magnificent furniture in Asian style. I tried holding the view of items around me, but when I moved to the next room, some dream entity was trying to interact with me, with a touch of aggression, distracting me and I soon sank into unconscious dreaming.

Dream3: I was sitting on a table with a number of women (40-50 yrs of age maybe), discussing the part that I was being chased, and how I tried to get rid of the my chasers , and why it partially worked. I was amazed how we were all sitting there, in my mind those were not mere DCs but rather inorganic being projections and I told them I marvelled that. The woman in front of me said that she was not actually inorganic but a type of tree. I knew I saw her as a person because I filtered everything through the human form. I asked her “So you come here when you are sleeping”. I can’t remember if got a reply from her. Then the paranoia of the night came back and we had to leave because I had the feeling that somebody might be coming. Thankfully, nobody was. The scene moved into another dream where we, don’t know who that we is anymore, went to this Chinese museum. We paid but I wasn’t really sure if we will have the time to see all that was there. In the museum everything was accessible, there were a lot of Buddha figures, small ones, golden, or covered in some shiny paint, also some ancient objects, which the women of the time used to put their make up in, as if they were shells, really beautiful things.


Mood after initial wake: fear
Mood after final wake: uplifted, happy