memorable

Date: 12 June

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: Gingko

Sleep quality and recall: I was tired after getting only 6 1/2 hrs the day before, yet I spent too much surfing before bed. As a result I slept quite deeply, dreams were vivid, averagely accessible. I was not in the mood to take early notes.The LD chain totally messed up my recall. I recovered the key parts, but dream reality was much more detailed.

WBTB: Had a natural wake earlier and then later than planned. Decided to use the later as WBTB, drank 1/2 RB. Was sleepy so no problems there.

Fragment1: My school

WBTB

Fragment2: A friend from the very distant past finally appears in my dreams (at least this year). She wants some help with her research.

Dream3: I am back to my hometown and meet a neighbor friend of mine. I have some thoughts about her excessive use of alcohol and cigarettes. When I see her, she confirms my expectations, immediately starts smoking and we sit in some cafe/bar outside initially and have some beer. She finishes her bottle and as I notice I have also finished mine. She goes to get another one for her and I want one too. She pays for everything. I am concerned that I have finished my bottle so fast and am about to have a second one. I continue thinking that it is likely that we will drink at least 5 bottles each this evening. I feel drunk and wonder if this is going to mess up my lucidity. I heard there is great REM rebound.

Fragment4:I am in a room, similar to my old place, my parents are there. Dad has some issues and gives me one of his disapproval looks. I remember the bed, did I fall asleep?

My subcon takes over and decides it's time to have a lucid

LD1:

I am above the sea surface, remembering one of my non-current goals to check out things from the past. I don't know why but I end up investigating what happened to the titanic. I pay some thought to what has happened. (I watched the movie a long time ago and can't recall the story). I have thoughts/fake memories that in real life they still don't know what happened and concluded it hit an iceberg. They never found the black box. I am watching a zoomed part of a non-sunken ship when thinking this. I finally remember that I never wanted to know anything about the titanic. I want to move on. I am temporarily disconnected. I simply desire to continue the dream.

My subcon takes over and I easily resume from non-physicality/void.

LD2: I am flying over a city, which is supposedly the place in the past where I want to go. Initially it looks like a toy city in the midst of the ocean, but as control my flight (which is hard), it begins to look like a real city, and I recognize it as Rome. I see the Colosseum, which looks a bit different, also lots of buildings with red rooftops. It feels as if I am flying over ancient Rome at low plane altitude. It is so exciting, I really believe that I have managed to go back in time.

I am zooming in and out ancient Rome to manipulate the city into being the real Rome and not a toy replica. I notice that I am chewing gum. I am now in a large empty and borderless room and Rome is like a mini replica taking a large part of the room. I become concerned about the gum. I have a false memory of the room with dad where I think I have fallen asleep. "Yes, I had a chewing gum", I am thinking and believe I can feel it in my physical mouth. I wrongly remember that CL also fell asleep with chewing gum. I become very worried but decide that I am going to spit/take out the gum and this will make my physical self do it too. I begin maneuvering which makes me semi-enter the void and supposedly feel my physical body. I get out three pieces of chewing gum. I don't feel any gum in my physical mouth so I am relieved. The dream destabilizes and I end up in the void.

LD3 & LD4+:

My memory is a bit messed as the exact initial place where this began as I happen to DEILD back and experience a similar fragment of the dream. The dream was fading so I came back more than once.

I am in what looks like the outskirts of some city, it the midst of mostly greenery. I am talking to this guy, then explore around by myself. There are lots of plants so really no way to give more detail. To my right is some kind of a road with barbed fence, I want to go there, but notice only cyclists use it. I walk around a bit more, dream fades.

I am more or less at the same place and I see the same guy ( who is an actor I don't know his name irl) on the initial trail. I am happy to have some partner to explore with during the dream, but he becomes evil. I do my best to change him, by being overly positive. He initially does not change but instead does something to my back, it really hurts. I am thinking about "invulnerability" from DV competition, so I may try to use it if he continues, but the pain is very strange. He calms down a bit and we move along, still surrounded by greenery.

I am by myself, and have spent quite a while exploring around. While there are mostly plants around, I finally reach the city. It looks like a small town, not too modern or at least that part in front of me. I notice a yellow? building in front of me and some sign "Leyle.."or "Harley". I try to memorize the name so that I can check it out later. I can't recall the surroundings so well anymore.

I look to my left, where across the river I see a more modern looking city, illuminated sign with the location, and the Gateway arch (* that excuse my ignorance I had to later google to confirm is located in St. Louis). I continue on my way but the dream slowly fades.

LD5: I enter a white one-story building. There is a DC woman in front of me and she is saying something with an echo effect. I become excited and start talking with a fake accent, but I can't concentrate much on what I'm saying. The dream feels a bit unstable. Still I want to go on with it and think I may go for transformation this time. But then I notice that lots of DCs are sitting behind a table, starring at me, much like a jury. It dawns on me that this is the perfect opportunity to get naked. I look down/stretch my clothes and with a relief see that this time I am wearing an easy long white polo-style dress. I am still worried that I will wake up once it gets on my eyes, so talk to the DCs first. I tell them to sing along, I want to use the sound as an anchor. I keep repeating, now incorporating a melody "Sing along" as I take my dress off. I now go to take my panties off. Panties gone. I do feel a little weird after these actions, a DC woman is looking at me surprised. I really hope that this isn't for real. I am all naked but for a bra that I try to take off as I wake up.

I am in my body and want to go for a DEILD. I lie on my back and wait but it doesn't work. Interestingly, I am also starving. It is not easy to LD.

What I have noticed today: It was much easier to continue LDing when I had a strong desire to resume with the dream. My subcon did the work, with little involvement on my part, which may account for the successful chaining.

Based on location I am approximating the 5+ LDs to an official count of 4 LDs and 1 micro ld.

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Progress with this months goals (as of 12 June morning):

- Do 100 RCs (10/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (11/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (5/10)
- 10 morning RCs (2/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 10 (official count)
micro-lds: 2 (for informative purposes, not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

EDIT 22.08: after more experience with lds, I realized that this was not DEILD chaining, as I didn't really wake up from the dream and feel my body in any way, just the dream ended and a new one started.

Total sleep time: 9 + hrs

Pre bed: 500 mg l-arginine (inspired by Highlander)

WBTB: woke up naturally after 5 hrs, but was super sleepy, so decided to skip the efforts/latte today.

Dream recall: I was planning on taking a break and just sleeping tonight, had it not been the ld at the end, there wouldn't have been a journal entry

Dream contents: the night was characterized by bizarre vivid dreams that I mostly forgot. I tried committing one dream to memory (again no keywords noted) as I thought it is easy to remember. Nothing from that dream. What I recalled is from the last hour of sleep, still pretty bizzarre and gave me a strange feeling too.

Dream1: In our old place, the way it looked many years ago. I am in the room, which at that point in time is dad's workplace. There are a lot of birds there, but soon I notice that some of them are on the floor and do not move. I conclude they are dead. I have a fake dream memory that there was some kind of disease raging, affecting mostly birds and other small animals. I notice lots of robin-like birds (alive) on the wardrobe. Then more dead birds on the floor. I don't think it's a good idea to stay in the room, the air is contaminated. I see some textbooks of mine and begin to gather them before I leave the place.

Dream2: I am in a bus and there is a discussion about a race ( cars/bikes?). My parents are also there. We are looking forward to finding out who the winner is, but it won't be known until 4 hrs later. We can buy tickets to the final, where the winner will be cycling/parading on the streets. I don't want to go there, but mom is talking to the bus driver. I think she will buy two tickets, but instead buys two coffee machines. They go to the back of the bus to get them.

Dream3 DILD: In a special room, a woman I know is like the head of this organization. It looks like a room for a lot of audience, but a bit altar-like. On the stage are a lot of this woman's favorite actors/musicians, most of them are from the past and long gone. Freddie Mercury is also among them. So she is related maybe a deputy for an organization's leader, who I identify as a special friend from my past.

I see a newspaper and begin reading the whole story of the organization. I can't wait to finish it and find out where my friend is now. At that time a DC, who plays the role of a classmate of mine is next to me, places her elbow on the newspaper, so I cannot read. I move the newspaper, but the article is not there, I start browsing the pages, looking for it in vain. I give up.

Me and classmate DC are going somewhere. I see a shop where they sell bracelets and try out one, but it doesn't fit. There are also lots of golden objects, the size and more or less shape of a pen. I notice one very cool looking - a brush entirely made of gold. The bristles are very soft and flexible and I swipe the top of my hand with the brush, but don't feel anything at all. I leave the brush where the other golden objects are. My classmate had selected some golden item and goes inside the store to pay. I accompany her inside and notice that I now hold a golden knife-like item, but do not have the money to buy it. It somehow ends up in my mouth where it stretches, changes shape, and by the time I get it out it is a golden spiral covered with pinkish chewing gum. I move on.

I face a door leading to a hospital-like corridor and go into that direction and end up in a vast room. I have the desire to find my special friend. While observing the room I become lucid. At this moment, my classmate walks through the door and joins me in the room. It is just a DC representation of my classmate, doesn't look like her much, but I am really amazed how this DC managed to follow me from the store. I pay no more attention to her and concentrate on the huge room in front of me.

There are many DCs there, and I decide to ask them where my special friend is. I go and talk to an old lady and ask her about him. She says she will go and get him soon, so I find that pretty cool. I contemplate on the amount of DCs in the room and how they all seem very independent (from my subcon). I have some feeling of the dream becoming unstable so move forward and wonder how real it all seems. I run my hand on the top part of a sofa, so real, stare in front of me, and I even hear a beeping sound which repeats over and over again, like an ECG (possibly an alarm from WL).

The room is on the first floor and leads to a large campus like inside yard. There are lots of people there, but the thing that immediately catches my attention is a black coffin, held in the air by two DCs. The sight gives me the creeps, and I begin crossing myself, a number of times, closing my eyes. Once I calm down a bit, I begin to feel that the dream is about to go, because there are no stimuli, I almost don't see anything and cannot open my eyes! I then remember that someone in DV ( gab or OB, or both, thanks a lot!) said it is possible to see through your eyelids. So I actually see a bit of the scene through the eyelids, and concentrate on it. My vision gets back to normal and I forget about the issue. The same DCs are still gathered there, holding torches as this funeral? is taking place. Most likely the coffin will be brought inside.

That doesn't matter much now because I feel the dream slipping away once again. I look around as much as possible and notice the building surrounding the yard, reminding me of a 18-19th century large hospital or campus or both. I begin to panic as I know I am waking up and I really wanted to learn more about the place. I stop a female DC dressed with strange clothes I don't have much time to investigate and say to her "Quickly, tell me where is this place" twice. She replies something like "America, reserve Neuhausen/Munchausen". I believe at that point that there really may be a place like this and repeat it a few times so that I can check it out later. I consider going in the building but the dream is violently coming to an end and the first floor is on fire.

I decide to check with the place location once again. I see three unpleasant problems individual DCs and engage one of them, asking him where we are. He is so out of place in this dream, doesn't pay any attention to me but instead picks up his phone and starts talking to someone else. Whatever. I look down and see lots of broken mobile phones in the mud...(end of memory and wake up)

I wake up overexcited and tell bf about the dream and he tells tha strangely he also dreamt about Munchausen/neuhausen. I wanted to know more about his dream. We concluded that it is very likely that I have repeated the name during my dream with my real voice and that has carried over to his dream.

Comments: I don't know whether it was my once again very deep sleep or the l-arginine that has caused so much bizarreness today. The dreams had a distinguishable different feeling to them, although it is hard to describe.
The last dream felt very ...different too. I will refrain from any rationalizations at this point.

Date: 08 June

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: cold latte (103.4 mg caffeine), did not feel very strong despite the warnings on the label

Dream quality and recall: Hmm, recall was quite difficult today, I was extremely sleepy pre WBTB and after falling asleep post WBTB. Vividness was as far as I can remember normal. Not totally sure about the sequence of the dreams. I did wake up naturally after WBTB and tried to commit the dreams to memory without taking any notes, but then quickly fell asleep. After final wake I was like " What, I don't remember anything at all?" Then some fragments emerged.

Dream1: I am in my grandma's place and there is a hungry lion in there too. I barely notice it , just know that it is there. (It seems I wasn't looking forward to giving it a hug today!) So, I get a large bone to lure it, it looks like some big KFC leftover and I throw it in the corridor, while trying to sneak out. I am not very sure where this lion is, but I am contemplating on an escape plan...

Fragment2: In some place, which reminds me of a block that I only dream about. The place is a bit different, and the floor is made of Chinese tiles. I am crossing it, and in the meantime lots of Asians appear there. They have to be careful because there are fragile blue/white Chinese dishes on the floor. I go with a touch of irritation, pick some guy and tell him he should not do what he is doing. I get the feeling of another dream with some Japanese girls I had a long time ago.

Fragment3 DILD: No idea how this dream started, when I got lucid and what I else I did while lucid. It is quite dark, and it seems I ran into a DC that I assume is Xanous. I address him and start talking to him. I remember he may not be lucid, so I grab him by the shoulders, shake him a bit and repeat several times that this is a dream. Then I remember to do the gesture, and finally repeat the passcode a few times. It looks like he is trying to memorize it, I repeat it a few more times, hopefully he will remember. I hold his head with my hands, while the dream slowly fades away.

Comments: Well a bit unlikely that this was Xanous, did he say anything back? I am so good at terrorizing innocent DCs. Sorry guys!

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Early dreamlet: A guy tells me that whenever cheese is involved he is also there?

Dream1 DILD after WBTB: Me and bf are queuing to enquire about financial help. A DC woman is behind me and she disapproves of me being there. The scene transforms and we are on some kind of platform that is taking us someplace. I see a strange theme park that reminds me of the island Pinocchio went to. We arrive at the destination, the DC woman is still behind me, I feel her body press on me, so I decide to sit on the platform’s stone steps. I look where we have arrived. This is something like a prison that a sect has, and they keep girls with strange clothes there.

I enter the place and it turns into an ordinary apartment. I look around and it feels familiar, as if I had been here before. In the first room I see a girl that is kept there and she is clearly sad about her fate. She is naked and I feel her silky skin, and then hug her to console her. She is very thin and I cannot tell her back from her front, it actually gets distorted but I think it is because she is skinny and I tell her that…I move on. There is no one in the apartment and that gives me a strange feeling. Soon I discover another room where a girl is kept. This time it is an extremely dangerous girl. I try to peek through the keyhole but there is some metal in it. Of course, the door to this dangerous girl is not locked, so she starts moving the door trying to escape, while I am trying to close the door. She is stronger than me so she manages to escape and I face her. She is outright scary, because she is a vampire. Some game-like status bar that looks like a play paper card is there. I understand that I won’t be able to fight her, so decide to flee.

I leave the apartment as fast as I can, and as I get to the stairs I run into Brendan Hines, who I recognize in the dream as a friend of mine and not the actor. I tell him we should get out of there and glide/jump on the handrails as fast as I can. We leave the building and I am on the street lucid. My first thought is that I don’t need to run away any more, but just to be on the safe side, I decide to increase the distance between me and the vampire girl, so I fly forward a bit. I am very happy that this guy (Brendan) is here and have some strange memory that this is the second time I am dreaming him? I want to use him as a partner during the lucid.

I remember 3 of the TOTM (although I decided yesterday to do only two this month), and have a great clarity of mind. This worries me because I feel that this is end of the REM and I am going to wake up soon, so I go to do the tasks. I approach Brendan, but he has transformed into some ugly older dude, who is being engaged by two other DCs on a bench. That irritates me and I try to get his attention, with little success. I notice a small puddle on the floor and decide to look at my image there. At the same time, while walking towards the puddle I consider if I should take my clothes off, and I stretch my T-shirt a bit. I think that not being able to see for a while will disconnect me from the dream, so I abandon the task and concentrate on my image in the water. I am pleasantly surprised to see that it is actually me there, looking quite nice, and smiling. Normal clothes and hair. It seems that I am talking as I am thinking this because as I do, I see the image’s mouth move exactly in accordance with my thoughts/words. I find this fascinating, but soon I feel my real lips moving and I am back in my bed.

I am on my right side, eyes closed and decide to risk and go for a DEILD. I wait quite a while and nothing happens, I am quite awake so decide to go to the restroom and take some key notes. I then go back with the intention of falling asleep and having another lucid. (Yes, that greed!)

As is usually the case with me, this doesn’t work too well, so I spend about 50 mins doing all kinds of stuff trying to fall asleep. I got very sceptical about having another ld towards the end of this insomnia chunk and began contemplating whether I should get up and do something more productive, but I finally fell asleep.

Dreamlet: some plant leaves

Dream2 DILD: I am in what initially looks like my parents place and there is a rat-like creature on the floor. It is white, and has no eyes, so a bit creepy. It later becomes three smaller creatures. There was some kind of story about these but it is hard to remember. We also own some creature in my mind a horse, but then a dog/creature steals our horse and runs down the building. This is my grandma’s place for a while. I chase the dog to get back whatever is ours, which turns into my new handbag from real life.

This person/entity goes down some stairs which lead into the underworld. It is scary. The underworld entrance is a subway station, where the escalators don’t work, so there is no turning back. I consider checking whether the elevator works but enter in a restroom instead. There are two people making out there, I chase them away. I look in front of me, and become lucid.

Once again my brain is working full power. There is a mirror just in front of me, so I take advantage of the opportunity and check my appearance. My hair is a bit darker and my image makes grimaces. I think that I don’t want to be stuck here too long to avoid waking up, so I leave the restroom. The station is still there, and I want to talk gibberish to a DC, so I turn to a DC guy and say the sentence “I am talking gibberish”, but muffle the sound so it becomes something like “Mmm tokah gee-ummmsh” and look for his reaction. He doesn’t seem to understand what I am saying and I am disappointed with his reaction, so I repeat it two more times. He shyly smiles and looks away. Ah, he’s shy, I conclude, satisfied with the result.

Then I decide to go with the next task, get naked. I look around and proudly announce to the surrounding DCs “I am going to get naked!” and watch faces of dismay. I concentrate on taking my clothes off, but it seems I have two layers, one fitting really tight. As I struggle to take them off, the dream fades away and I am back in bed, left side this time.

Date: 31 May

Pre bed: multivitamins (included gingko and ginseng), SJW, two drops of peppermint oil

Side effects: increased heart rate, heavy insomnia

Other: I think the multivitamins I took stimulated me too much before bed time. I was also dehydrated which made the situation worse. The heart rate wasn't too fast, but it was noticeable when going to bed and made it difficult to fall asleep.

Dream quality and recall: WILD, too dark, which made it harder to engage in the dream. The two DILDs after that were vivid and of higher quality. I woke up after each one. Then had about two hours of insomnia, went into very deep sleep and had little recall.

Impressions: It was an interesting experience, although I wouldn't repeat it again (because of the insomnia)

Sequence: multivits > heartbeat> WILD> about a hour of sleep/or trying to sleep> DILDs> insomnia> deep sleep> WBTB> dream

Dream1 WILD: In bed, dehydrated and with a noticeable heartbeat which made it difficult to fall asleep. I was still for some time, paying attention to the heartbeat, then found myself in darkness. It felt like my consciousness was split in three sections. Part of it was asleep, part of it knew exactly what to do, giving me instructions, and part of it followed the instructions. A bit like having three different thoughts at the same time.

I am in the darkness, and I say to myself how exactly I should grab the scene. The instructions are now vague, but I remember struggling with the darkness, and performing some bodily movements until I end up on a solid street. I find it a bit strange that I am now on this street, a city from my past, I notice that I am sitting on the pavement. It is dark, and there is nobody in sight. I decide to walk a bit, choosing another street I know. I spend some time walking, and reach a bus station. I look around once again, everything is still very dark, so it is hard to see, and there isn't a single light on.

I am a bit worried that the dream will escape, because I almost cannot concentrate on anything here. Then the "interact with a DC" task comes to mind. I know Xanous would probably not be asleep at this time, but decide to try to reach him nevertheless. I call out Xanous a few times, and look around. I cross the street and there are some DCs there, I stop one and try to ascertain if this is Xanous. It is dark, so hard to tell any facial feature, and the guy's face is also blurred. Well, it doesn't feel like him so I let the DC go. I stop another one and hold him for a while. His face gains a bit more definition and I try to analyze it in the darkness. I say that whatever I am doing makes no sense but still hold on to the DC. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

I go to drink some water then back to bed. Reviewed the dream in mind. Fell asleep.

While I had begun to question whether some of my short lucid moment memories that I couldn't recall in the past few weeks were real, I now have an absolute certainty because I woke up shortly after these two.

Dream2 DILD: In some version of the same city, but everything is much more vivid now and it is day time. I am supposed to meet a friend of mine like the last time we did that. But somehow our plans don't work out. Instead I end up facing a threat from an invisible enemy. I am lucid now, and have a greater sensory perception. Initially it was as if I am on the balcony, but it quickly changes into multidimensional walled space in front of me, hard to describe. The energetic entity is not visible because it is behind the wall, yet I feel it because I stretch move with my entire being through the wall that feels like just space, and come in close contact with it. It is not pleasant, I feel its energy. I am trying to move it away by manipulating the matter. I get rid of the thing and find myself between four walls with creamy tiles on them. I notice that there is no door, but don't care much. I can move through space.

Dream3 DILD: In the more or less the same city, some kind of scenario is developing. People are still using horses instead of cars, they are leaving the city because of some emergency. I watch while this is happening, there is some blue stuff of the floor. I remember that this is the second time this is happening. I am lucid, I spill more blue stuff on the floor, and enjoy it for a while. I make a strange posture to show/explain something to one of the DCs in the room? I turn and look to the other side of the room where there is a window. I decide to stabilize the dream by intending it. I check the overall feeling, yes, stable. My mind is also clearer now. I look out the window, and see three boys in the distance. "Interact with a DC", on my mind again. (I really wish I could remember more tasks! ). I climb through the window and slide down. It feels like the roof of a building or on top of a train. The boys are playing soccer, so I shout that I want to play with them. They kick the ball towards me and I see it coming, but it is too high, I control its movement so it is easy for me to catch it. As I am preparing to have a kick, the dream falls apart and I wake up?

Fragment4: I am having a short dream where I am discussing the three boys. I identify one of them as a neighbor kid from the past, but I know he is grown up now.

I wake up and review the dreams, I am super awake and cannot fall asleep for two hours. When I finally do, I slip into unmemorable dreams.

WBTB: I wake up tired about one hour before the planned wake time. Upset that I messed up the plan for tonight. I decide to take one p.oil capsule, then go to bed concentrating on having an ld.

Fragment5: A classmate is wearing strange clothes

Fragment6: I am in some water, and there is sand around. My bf is also swimming with me in this strange place. I try to get out of the water, climbing strange sand dunes. Then we go to an indoors swimming pool where I plunge into the water, a bit worried about hitting the bottom.

Date: 24 May

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

WBTB: 2x200mg peppermint oil tablets

Dream quality, lucidity and recall: My dreams were extremely vivid today, I dare say, more vivid that real life. I believe this was the reason why I got a number of lucid moments during the night. While being aware that this is a dream, I continued to engage in the dream, soon losing lucidity. My recall has been rather poor again, which made it harder to figure out how it all happened.

Sleep schedule: I had trouble going to bed on time last few nights, but avoided taking sleep aid supps (mel and valerian) for a number of reasons. Messing up my sleep schedule has made me feel very sleepy and possibly affected my recall.

Dream zero: lucid, happiness, no other memory

Fragment1: some kind of game, rocks, I am walking around

Fragment2: my parents at some event

Fragment3: FA, in my bed recalling the previous dreams and happy I just had a lucid. I am between dream and waking state and I realize that this review is taking place in my head. I drag myself out of the dream and wake up to dream journal properly.

WBTB: upon wake I notice how sleepy I am. I try to recall the lucid, but only remember the feeling and no other details. I hold the memory of Fr1 and fr2 in my mind. I go to take some peppermint tablets, then back to bed. I quickly fall asleep forgetting almost everything.

Fragment4: I want to make tea, I am looking at an unused teabag of green tea, which becomes a box, containing two black teas and one green. On the green one is written "blue goddess" and also "hotel memorabilia"

Dream5: We are at some party and it is really late. Lucid moment. I meet a classmate that I like and I want to tell him something. (something like shared dreaming attempt residual that I keep on doing in some lucids). I tell him to come with me in the other room for five mins, but he refuses. I am thinking about my dad coming to pick me up when the party is over, etc. Another classmate of mine (f), we talk with her, she is one of my best friends. She shares that she is really unhappy with her life, and so on. Very emotional connection with her irl and dreams. She begins to cry, and I embrace her, we stay like this for a long time. Another friend of mine (f), comes and joins us and three of us are holding hands in some silent act of consolation...Lucid moment. Memory gap. We are arranging to meet at our new dream apartment, which looks really nice.

Fragment6: someone has bought a toy, it is a car that behaves like rat because it can climb on the windows

Fragment7 DILD: I am in the suburbs, a familiar place but it looks like it is in the past, so I become lucid. Someone is after me, I am running, climbing a fence. . I think I was trying to figure out a way out of the situation, but I cannot remember anything else.

Dream8 DILD: I am on the street and see a small boy and his mother. The vividness is incredible. He throws large stones at me, I am worried that he will break my ipod with the stone, but it is ok. He continues throwing stones, while initially concerned about my safety I realize this is a dream, so no need to worry that much. The stones are very colorful, lots of them on the ground. I pick up one and go menacingly to the boy. I can't bring myself to throw one at him, so I decide to threaten him instead. I do so, in pseudo French. It is really hard to express whatever it is that I am trying to say, so I end up making strange words that don't exist. At this point or a bit later I lose my clarity. I go over to his mother and begin apologizing about my French.

Dream9 DILD: Family and other relatives are discussing politics, I try to remain impassive. I am indulging in a chocolate cake and then drink some mayo salad that grandma has made. It doesn't taste as usual, and I say it out loud, grandma is a bit offended. Family is leaving somewhere. I am on the bus station in my hometown, cross on red light, and continue on my way to our old home. As I am walking, the dream kind of jumps forward, so I find myself in front of our door. I think to myself "Why did I decide to walk, when I know I could just teleport here?", Hmmm, teleport here? I am aware that this is a dream now. I still want to go in the place so I start unlocking the door. Then suddenly I hear a slightly scary metal sound, like movement of keys. I remind myself not to pay any attention to it, and that it will disappear. Instead it gets louder, comes closer.

I concentrate on unlocking the door, but even as I move the key, the door won't open. I begin thinking why is that, the sound is now really close. I decide to face it, and look down the stairs. Pfuu, it is just my dad! He comes and opens the door and we are in! I am in the corridor with dad, it is dark, and kind of...too dimensional. I am talking to him, but it is hard, and my voice sounds really distorted. I try again but the effect is the same. My prospective memory finally activates, recalling the first two of three step task, interact with a DC, ok. Then eat something. I see a small plant in front of me, and think no! I head to the kitchen to look for food. It is dark, the furniture is different and I cannot remember where the fridge is. I finally find it. At that moment dad comes with some strange foamy orange juice cocktail drink. I take it and think for a while whether that counts as eating something, then have a drink. Before I can enjoy any taste, the dream totally falls apart and I am back in my bed. I remain still and wait a bit, but nothing happens, and begin to think too much, so I wake up. Note to self: maybe be a bit more patient next time?

Comments: I have been getting more of these lucid moments but I really don't know how to account for them in my private dream count as well as on DV, because they are kind of short and I'm having problems with lucid recall.

At the end of the month, I probably will be including a total count, with a reference how many of these are micro-lucids. Before, I counted every lucid I had as plus one, but now I look more at the length and quality. This is getting so confusing. Anyways, I still think it is a very good progress for the past two months. If my dream control ever gets really good, one day I would like to go back and relive those dreams and remember them in full detail.

Date: 22 May

Total Sleep Time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 120 mg gingko

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was very sleepy today, I guess that has affected my recall. My prospective memory and concentration during the lucid were not at their best either.

Fragment1: the dream involved Xanos, no other memory

Dream2: A class meeting again. It is late at night and we are discussing with the girls where we are about to go. I feel like dancing so I am totally fine with any place they suggest. I notice that they have put on some weight. My dad is over-protective and follows me around. I arrange to secretly meet with my best school friend and take her to a concert. I will buy her the ticket. On what I think is the next day, we meet in the morning and take the subway. She has moved to my city, it seems.

Fragment3: We are eating some mix of bacon and cheese, tasted very realistic

Fragment4: the office is closed, my dad is looking for something

WBTB: Took gingko. Recalled dreams and did some dream incubation during which I have fallen asleep.

Dream5: I am watching some trees from above, and want to change their color. It feels a bit like I am observing using google map. Soon I am at the place of interest, in the middle of a lake. There is an old wood-made ship close to the also quite old and dusty quay. I have a game like attitude and want to rearrange the whole place. I succeed in making more space where I want to. Then I am in the water, swimming forward, but it is not very pleasant because this lake is a bit dirty. There is also a fish nearby, and I don’t like that.

Dream6: Instead of the normal section of a restaurant, I decide to follow a DC and go to another part. I am climbing some stairs to reach my destination, but the place is very hard to get to because the doors are smaller. I reach the third floor, where I talk to the waiter – a friend of mine. Three other DCs appear. One of them tells me that he has a Japanese geisha girlfriend and that they are in an open relationship, they are dating some other special girl. He shows me a brochure where all this is explained using some strange Japanese words. I think that he expects me to join their little arrangement, so I say no thanks.

Fragment7: I am in a car, and the waiter of another place we were in, is now John Malkovich. He comes in, bringing my favourite sandwiches. They are perfect.

Dream8 DILD: I am in an interesting looking town, but pay little attention to it at first. I am with four friends, one girl I clearly know, two DC friends in the background and another girl. The other girl is the girlfriend of a friend of mine, and she has come to meet me. At first, I don’t feel at ease with the two girls, even though they are friends, so I fly to the level of the first floor, and follow everybody as they are walking down the street, just above them. I think of why I am doing this and then fly back down. The new girl has brought me some presents – she hands me two notebooks, with school notes, chemistry and other stuff. Then another one with patriotic poems translated in a foreign language. Who would want to read something like that, I am thinking to myself.

At some point which I cannot remember, I become lucid. I feel I have spent a long time exploring around. The next more clear lucid memory is me, still in that city, which looks like a medieval city, feeling happy and going for some tasks (which I don’t remember at all). Then I look around and enjoy the place, the walls of the houses around are made from a dark stone with a hint of green. It feels like an Italian city during Middle Ages. It also reminds me of a number of other dreams I had. One more recent one was in a modern Italian city. The Colosseum should be somewhere to my right, I am thinking and desire to go to that place. At the same time, I try to engage a few DCs to help me on my quest. I look ahead and see DCs passing by, I try to stop them, but they are moving really fast, strong momentum, so I cannot stop them. (The second time this has happened). I look at a DC in front of me and notice how beautiful, elaborate and medieval/renaissance-like her clothes are. I get closer to a DC woman that is not moving, she is some kind of monk, and ask her for help/directions, but she is not helpful at all (interact with DC).

I continue and find another male DC, a peasant, he looks a bit blurry. I know that this dream has been going on for really long, so to avoid it ending I come up with the idea to stabilize the dream by kissing him. He is not really ugly, I find him rather unpleasant, but still, I kiss him. I realize that I am doing something objectionable to me, yet I keep doing it. The dream feels much more stable (stabilize dream), but then someone tells me that as a result of my behaviour, I have now two children and that man is my husband. This place is my home now. It all suddenly feels so realistic to me that I lose my lucidity. I begin to fret about those responsibilities and that I won’t be able to leave the place now. At the same time, I know that this city is special and that there are wormholes appearing every now and then, so I can use one of them to escape. I look at a live city map, which shows the location of the currently active wormhole.

I continue sleeping and have another dream that I cannot recall. I wake up and feel frustrated because I have no memory of the last few dreams. Then fragments start to emerge.

Comment: Although I managed to recover some of the memory of that lucid, it is upsetting that once again I am unable to remember a part of the experience. And yet, it is much better than not remembering anything at all.

Pre bed: Green tea

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: went to bed very late, deep sleep tonight, and recall was hard. I have been trying to recall the whole first dream all day long but with little success.

Fragment1 DILD: I am looking at a male person, concentrating on top of their head. I see a second more transparent double layer shining with color, I am so aware, lucid is an understatement. I get a great sense of understanding. There is a discussion and feelings of happiness from my side. I am also talking with PennyRoyal, he is one of my good buddies in the dream. It was very vivid, but I don't have much recall. My key impressions are positive feelings, knowledge and understanding. This was my first memorable REM or Non-REM? for the night.

Fragment2: Me and somebody else are about to catch a small plane. We are in front of a very small airport, but we need to get to the other part of the airport, we are looking at a map of the area.

brief natural wake, had the idea of writing down the previous dreams but was way too tired, thought I would remember it, so went back to sleep

Fragment3: FA, I wake up in my bed, grab the tablet and start writing down the dream with Penny. My bf is near me, watching what I have typed, I stop writing, I wake up.

WBTB: I wake up, this time jot down keywords, and spend 10 mins struggling to remember more of the dream. Reviewed tasks, but had the feeling this will be it for today.

Dream4: We are in some place with my bf with a blond guy, resembling a former classmate. While he is a total stranger, but my bf doesn't mind him spending the evening with us. We talk for a long time, he is slightly arrogant. The guy decides it's time to leave so he jumps from a bridge. I watch him vanish in the air instead of falling in the water.

Fragment5: Another attempt to remember the dream with Penny, but I am trying to recall during the dream itself. This time I see a water in front of me, it is a waterfall. I think the dream with Penny might have included Angel Falls, also get some feeling of happiness, yet cannot remember more even during the dream.

Fragment6: A new thread started by Xanos

Dream7: I am with my parents in a familiar place. I have the feeling this is the second dream in that place for today. We talk about something with my mom, and I decide to go to another room. I then go out. I feel much better now, by myself, on the street, there is a fence and obviously a zoo. A lot of people are there, I join them. I see a polar bear cub, and that people are actually going beyond the fence. I want to go to where the cub is so I also cross over and am inside the section with the animals.

I look to the other side and see now a brown bear cub, it is on its back, drinking a bottle of coke. I am with a friend of mine and I tell her that the zoo keepers will think that we gave the drink to the bear and be angry with us. I try to take the bottle of coke away from the bear, but I am taking its food, it is stressed now. I am afraid of its mother, which is a much larger polar bear. We are sitting on a couch with some DCs, when the mother bear comes. I try to think of a plan to escape, without attracting her attention. I think at that point she transforms into a DC, conveys the message that she wants us to leave her territory, so I ask the DCs that we go. They get up, we are leaving, and the mother bear DC is grateful.

Comments: It's been three days in a row that I have been dreaming animals, it is high time I begin to recognize this as a dream sign! Also, upon waking up don't forget to at least count fingers or do any RC, to take advantage of those FAs.

Date: 15 May

Pre bed: 400 mg valerian, 100b B6

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Impressions and Recall: There was my usual for B6 sense of aggression seeping through parts of the dream. After waking up from the lucid (after 5 hrs of sleep), I decided to take key notes and review as not to wake myself up. I got pretty excited and the internal dialogue turned on full power, resulting in about an hour of insomnia. After that I fell into deeper more unconscious type of sleep with a decreased recall capability. I had another lucid from which I remember only a part, I continued sleeping after it was over and had an non-ld.

Fragment1: Some kind of posts on DV that had to do with PennyRoyal.

Fragment2: At home, my parents have gone somewhere and I am in my room cooking some strange pancake/calzone thing that looks and tastes delicious. I have to leave some for my grandma.

Dream3 DILD TOTY attempt: I am in a room which feels familiar, three women are sitting around the table, and I am cleaning up as if after a meal. One of the women has some tempting white green chocolate cookies, I am secretly planning on having a few after the women are gone. Another female DC comes in and starts behaving really aggressively. She demands all the attention, looks me in the eye with hatred and begins complaining to one of the women in the room. I have the feeling that they will start a fight with each other, so get out of there fast. Her hostility feels kind of fake, and at this point the memory of the B6 effect for me reaches my subcon on a subtle level.

I find myself on the stairs of a building and lots of aggressive gangster type boys are all around me. One of them is particularly evil, feels dangerous. I become lucid on a distracted level, realizing this is a dream, but unable to do anything about the guy. I am trying to move away but it is really crowded on the stairs, I think somebody pushed me, and I end up in a niche on the wall. The wall is not really wall but something liquid that sucks me in. As I move forward in this thing, I achieve a better clarity of mind and am fully lucid and in control. There is a single task that I feel the urge to do now, go to Angel Falls. I remember CL’s advice to try to feel the floor, so I move my fingers, touching the empty space and feeling small grains of sand and pebbles. The dream idea was to be on top of Angel Falls, but in the water, so in addition to my feeling the floor, I begin to make swimming movements with my hands. The wall is already liquid and it is like a white pinkish sinking sand made of rubber-like substance. The whole world has disappeared and it is just me and the wall and I feel a closer to the void, afraid that the dream would destabilize and disconnect. I am swimming forward and nothing happens for a while, but I decide to keep on swimming. At some point the whole environment changes and I find myself looking at a flower, submerged in water.

I look at the dark purple flower and marvel its beauty, noticing every petal in detail. I look around, and see that I am in the middle of a pond/lake that stretches as far as my eyes can see. At the same time, mixed with this image I find myself in my old room, where all this is taking place. I focus on the surface of the pond which looks like a silver mirror reflecting the clouds. I then notice that this pond is covered or rather slowly begins to cover itself with lotus flowers. Bright yellow and magenta lotus flowers are everywhere I move my eyes to look. I feel happiness upon witnessing this beautiful sight. The dream is extremely vivid and stable. Needless to say, I am somewhat distracted by this, but keep gliding on the surface of the pond in the direction of Angel Falls. This doesn’t work too well, I am still within the confines of my room, looking through some glass that distorts the view from outside, which is the view from my room with strange rainbow-like effects. A bit like looking out during a bus ride. It looks like my room wins the battle between the two layers of images, gaining more detail.

Soon the water level in the room goes down and with it my lucidity. I struggle to restore the water level with intent, but non-lucid already. I manage to briefly do so, but then I see the floor and the water is retreating. There is also mud everywhere, the furniture is falling apart. I become concerned about the state of my old room and wonder how to clean everything. [end of memory]

After the dream ended, I had a brief awakening, noting to myself about the lucid, but then fell asleep again. I heard some kind of bell-like sound, I guess a type of HI, that actually woke me up. After reviewing the dream I had 1 hour of insomnia. Then - deeper sleep and less memorable sleep.

Fragment4: Having to share the bed with relatives, I preferred sleeping on the ground.

Fragment5: Some more beds, family friends.

Dream6 DILD: I am in my hometown, in a familiar park and am lucid. I see a few dogs around, mostly small ones and larger one (no idea what breed) captures my attention. I keep looking at it and feel my emotions reflected in the dog. I observe it a for a while, the dream is stable, I am happy. By simply looking around, I unconsciously summon more dogs of different smaller breeds. I find this cool. [end of memory]

Fragment7: I see and talk to a politician I don’t like.

Date: 7 May

During day: Re-energized by consuming lots of fruits

Pre bed: 3mg melatonin

WBTB duration: 16 mins, woke myself too much, hard time falling back asleep

WBTB: 2x peppermint oil tablets (200mg each)

Recall method: Woke pen-noted an almost illegible description during WBTB for Dream2, briefly reviewed in mind when back to bed

Fragment1: A large spider and then other insects, one was like a bee, I am trying to kill them, smashed them successfully

Dream2 DILD: My father has given me the task of preparing some kind of report for him. I am browsing in a chemistry textbook with different substances and after each substance there is a lengthy regression. My father wants a list of the substances only, which I don't think is right. He is annoyed that I am so slow and still not ready. I move on and jump over some furniture and see my grandma. I begin to explain that the regressions are the most important part in this report.

I continue on my way, and now am in something similar to a trailer with a friend of mine. Obviously she is keeping some items of mine there, one carton box with my stuff, that I want to take on my way. We talk about something. I notice that there is a wounded cheetah on the table. Actually there is no sign of wound but I know it is tired. I play with its tail, and caress it. It purrs and gently rubs its soft head and body on my hand. It is very enjoyable for both of us. I discuss the cheetah with someone, pointing out that it is the fastest creature on earth.



I then move on, I find myself in another place and someone tells me that my friends, and lists a number of people I supposedly know, are dead in another part of the city. Obviously machines have taken over the city and are destroying it. I look outside the window and see construction machines falling into an abyss. I have a bit of a paranoia from the machines because I know that they will soon come to destroy this part of town. I become desperate and say something like " I am so tired of such situations when I think that I am dreaming, but I am not, later it is a dream, then it is not!". I decide it is time to leave the place, and walk out a door. I notice a coca cola label sticker, but there is a poem on it. Perhaps I should leave something behind, I wonder, but there really is no point.

I am going to fly scout the area, to see if the machines are still in that part of town. I stretch my hands horizontally, like a cross, and then lift off in this position. I have good control of my movement this time, but still flying too high is a bit of challenge, it has to do with the vision of the ground below me.

It is hard to look down and perceive the flight distance and control the flight at the same time, but I fly in the direction that I desire. I am also lucid at this point. At above skyscraper height, I fly now forward, over an area with some water, HK in my mind, and look for a place to land. I have completely forgotten about the machines. Then the word "tasks" emerges in my mind and I remember I have work to do. For a second the thought crosses my mind that I may not have the time to do any tasks, but then answer myself that DV people won't mind that because I still had a good time flying.

As I land, I feel some kind of a string release me, I am then on the ground. I look at the DC in front of me. He is rather unpleasant but I accept this, his faces changes and he is now more beautiful and smiling. There is a DC woman to my left, but I pay little attention to her. I think at that point I may have had the gut feeling that this dream is coming to an end, and decide to stabilize before starting on any tasks. I remember to shout something and it feels a bit more stable. Then I throw myself on the ground, feel it as much as possible with my hands, little stones, etc. and as if that isn't enough, I decide to lick the ground. I also lick some kind of trash a blue thread, it tastes like rubber. I find this last part disgusting and decide to spit out. Saliva comes out of my mouth and at that moment I feel my physical lips moving. Before I have any time to react I find myself in my bed, still with my eyes closed, but very aware of my physical body. I feel there is no point to DEILD so I head for the journal.

Note: This wake was a few minutes before the WBTB alarm. I decide to use this wake as WBTB, take notes, visit restroom, wonder whether I should try the menthol tablets, have two tablets. The whole thing takes about 16 mins but I am too awake as I go back to bed. I wonder what to do from here...I decide I might cycle a bit to help me sleep but as I start with sight my mind shuts down and I begin drifting off, while still having awareness of my body. I cannot do even one cycle. It may sound like a good state to do WILD, but it isn't that good. I spent one hour in a semi-conscious borderline state where I occasionally saw and withdrew from dreamlets, yet wasn't dreaming, but rather laying there half-aware of my body and fully aware that I can't fall asleep. The tablets or the earlier wake gave me mild heartburn as well. I finally managed to fall asleep but then it was time to get up...

Dream3 mini-lucid: Together with some guys, this time we are on a flying machine, initially like a retro airplane, I am trying to control its movements, but it is hard. We are going to a conference related to technology, and approaching a block where this is taking place. I see a parking place for flying machines and land this now spacesuit? there. I hope nobody steals it while we are away. I look for number ten part of the building, we must be really close. There is also a McD in the building, which explains why there are so many people around. To my left is Justin Bieber, I am moderately happy. I am lucid for a very short while thinking about the peppermint oil tablets I took and whether they affect my experience. The alarm wakes me up.

Note: Happy about the first lucid, despite the fact that couldn't do any tasks. I feel this was at the end of the early more memorable REM cycles. The second lucid was very short so I am not including it in my count.

Total sleep time: 7 hrs, still tired

Dinner: 2 Eggs plus other stuff
Prebed: 1 1/2 Glass of soy milk

Fragment1: I am some kind of adventurer, like Indiana Jones, a man as well. I am about to enter a bunker, when the doors begin to close. I don't want to be stuck inside so I roll on the floor and escape through the exit door just before it closes sliding from above.

Dream2 short DILD: I am in a familiar yard and there are loads of mattresses all stacked together, a pile as high as the third floor perhaps. I am initially sitting on top and trying to balance. I then get down and on the ground there is some red liquid which is toxic and contagious? A Rottweiler is under the influence of this red liquid, he is ranging mad behind a glass window, people are watching him, he is deadly dangerous. I try to quickly move away, pass by it, and find myself on the street. I go in the wrong direction, the street looks slightly familiar in the dream, I have no idea where I am, but confidently go in the direction which I assume is the right one. I begin to speed move on the street and become lucid. I continue speed moving, trying not to hit some people and two German shepherds in front of me. Memory gap...perhaps I woke up?

Dream3: In a store and have the feeling I have been here before. I want to pick up something I have ordered, but it looks like they couldn't deliver because they don't have my address. The old lady behind the counter takes out a piece of paper and shows me that the address is missing. As I am trying to fill out the address, it begins to change, but I am filling out a non-existent address anyways and that does not seem odd at all. I then see that they are selling a special tea to make you lucid. I am so happy they are finally selling those things and want to buy a pack. I also want to get a fancy facial lotion but become distracted, so I forget about it.

Fragment4: Another store, this time I am looking at coffee mugs, wondering whether to buy one. There is also a beautiful teapot and a guy is trying to pour water in the tea cup, but it doesn't quite work. One of us is actually biting the teapot, can't remember who it was.

Dream5: In something like a museum, similar to a place I have been before in another dream. It also resembles a bookstore and they are selling drawing materials, I wanted to buy these so that I can begin painting with color. Further ahead there are two guys wrestling. They are playing a strange game, as if they are anime characters, and one pretends to hurt the other and the other pretends he gets kicked in the butt. I think of how good they are at doing this whole thing, this requires a lot of skill.

A semi-familiar girl comes to me and wants me to be her partner in this strange game, but I can't do it, so I turn her down. She then takes out a napkin with something written on it. I just see the first few lines: DEILD and SxxEILD. So she is into lucid dreaming? I ask her what her nickname is, I am assuming she has a DV profile. She looks kind of offended and as if I have crossed some privacy line. She takes back the napkin and walks away.

Dream6 DILD, TOTM: I am with my friends and boyfriend and it looks like we are doing some laundry. We are inside some place maybe public laundry, maybe store, it is rather empty, just us there. We go out on the street and hail starts to fall. I also see some lightning. I then look at the sky and see some indescribable lights there. They take the form of many invisible airplanes. There is also some thunder-like sound. I tell my friends, " And you didn't believe about the end of the world, well here it is!". I look in the sky again, something like a small sun, looking menacing to me.

Strange things in the sky, I may be dreaming. I become aware. I still feel threatened, what if this is real? No, it's a dream! I tell myself. Ok, it's a dream, but this thing is in the sky, let me get out of there. I turn around the corner, and continue on my way but the dream begins to fade. I continue walking and start rubbing my hands, but I don't feel them so much and that worries me. They actually feel kind of numb (but not paralyzed). I see a DC woman and desperately try to cling with my mind to her, I ask her to help me, I try to engage her, but whatever she answers I can barely hear.

I think I may have quickly DEILDed at some point, but it was more like a mild dream fade and then back to the dream, no time in the void. I turn back and see that the thing in the sky is taking a lot of space now and it reminds me of the war of worlds machine. I turn my back and think that if I go far away from it, it may not notice me or just disappear. I continue on my way, it is of course a dead end street. I even stumble on some steps of this dead end street, shortly wondering how did I manage to do that? I begin climbing a fence and cross to where there are some houses. I enter one and find myself in the kitchen. I notice something interesting there, can't remember what. I go in the other room, and concentrate on a DC that is watching TV. " Tell me about the situation, what is going on with this thing outside?" I then remember that I don't need to stay here and want to change the scene.

There are now three DCs in the room. " I need to change the scene, will you help me?", I ask them. A very helpful and enthusiastic DC takes the initiative " Sure, I will help you, guide you, where do you want to be?" happily replies the man. I initially think "Angel Falls" but then I remember I wanted to finish TOTM first. So I glance at the floor and start looking for coal. I see a large black object and take a piece of it, but it turns into a backpack and the piece in my hand is useless. I turn to the DC woman on my left. " Quickly, give me a piece of coal" , she hands me a brown black pointy piece of a coal. I place it between my fingers and it feels like rubber. I begin pressing it and try to shape it into a diamond. I shortly close my eyes and the dream begins to fade. I am annoyed. " Turn to diamond, turn to diamond", I have to have positive expectations, I remind myself. I look into my hands and finally a diamond shaped crystal is there. The way it is faceted reminds me of a crystal glass my grandma had. Still holding the diamond in my hands I start thinking that I have everything I need to do the four-in-one task in this room with the DCs. Then the dream fades and so does my overall ability to concentrate.I wake up and head for the journal.



Comments: Wow! Finally got that diamond, not quite as I expected or planned the whole thing, but still... and with April almost over, I think it's time for me to relax and call it a month!

Edit: Wrote down this entry, everybody left and I decided to go back to bed because I felt tired. As usual I was taking my time relaxing in bed when bf decided to give me a call. I told him that I am tired of being woken up, and decided to get up since our guests will soon be back from their walk.

Lol! This whole situation is getting ridiculous, but then I have to ask myself "Perhaps this lack of sleep and constant disruption is keeping me on the edge while at the same allowing for some REM rebound to occur?" The truth is I have had 7 LDs since our guests arrived, so I probably should turn my coal complaining into a diamond gratefulness? Whatever the reason, thanks for the great month!

Our guests woke me up again, I spent about an hour trying to fall asleep, my mind was way too awake, and when I finally fell asleep I got into some WILD/OBE thing where I couldn’t move much.

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

HI dreamlet1: Some woman, her face was colored black with something like tar. She lives in the woods, in a hole under the trees. A scary story begins about the holes in the woods.

HI dreamlet2: I am an unknown street most likely in my home town, have different hairstyle

Dream3 WILD/OBE: I am in my hometown again, in front of me are my guests. I am looking at my hands, some blue pink ghost like double layer is also visible. My hands quickly stretch out, a familiar feeling, they stretch into infinity, space bends and the whole of me is quickly sucked forward. I also feel my dream body detaching. A short moment of darkness follows and then I find myself on our old balcony. It is dark, there is some light perhaps from the moon. I immediately notice my position and feel my dream body. Instead of my feet being on the floor of the balcony, my midsection is where the floor is and my feet are below it. Don’t feel the floor, I notice that my position and state is somewhat similar to when I sometimes meditate – I am physically sitting, but feel the rest of my body is standing. I decide not to pay too much attention to that because I have to stabilize. I run my fingers over the surface of the balcony, very realistic. Everything is rather clear, but I can’t move my legs. I try to but I can’t.

I decide that perhaps I should give my dream body some more time to adapt to the dream. I start rubbing my hands, now my elbows barely move! I decide to wait a bit, but black out for a second, then I am back to the dream still no improvement. I force my limbs to move, and I can feel a great force on them preventing them from moving. I try touching the wall again with my fingertips, but it doesn’t help. I look to my side, towards the end of the balcony and see many plants there, it looks like a small jungle, it is dark and there is a dark hole between the plants. Now, it is definitely not the time to expect something scary to come out of there, I tell myself. I try to be indifferent about it. I then notice that a song is playing “give me my love, give me my love”, a nice song, but then it gets stuck, the same part plays over and over again. I wake up.

Comments and Analysis: I was worried after waking up that I have finally managed to mess myself up and instead of having normal LDs, the more time I spend in the void, the more aware I become of my falling asleep and will begin to get stuck more in the middle. I really hope not! Now, I feel relaxed about the situation, but am sure I will be getting more experiences where I would need to remain calm.

The stretching hands and being pulled forward (not just the two bodies separating) experience plus ghost like layer is something I have seen before and I kind of relate to OBE types of experiences (if these can be differentiated from WILD). I can only say it is a different feeling altogether.

Such continuous dream paralysis is not something completely new, but the only memories I have of it are when I was a very young. I don’t remember getting stuck in the middle of a floor ever.

Some explantion why this happened: I am thinking that the longer time spent in WBTB, the more my mind is aware of my physical body. If I WBTB for 5 min, then I would transition to the dream much faster. An alternative explanation is that I am being increasingly aware of the void and this somehow affects me.

Future strategy: I really have to write a few key words on a piece of paper so that I don’t forget. 1. Patience and detachment. I didn’t panic today, but the situation could have been different. 2. Rubbing hands 3. Try zooming into something else or 4. Try floating up?

During day: (RCs + DS)x10

Total Sleep Time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: D1-D4 – keywords in notepad; tried to recall D3-D4 somewhat when going back to bed; D5 –straight to tablet after final wake

Dream1: I am back to our first home and live with my parents again. It is late night and I just came back from somewhere. A former classmate has organized a meeting at 12:10 (evening), so I want to go there. I tell my mom that I am going out, although I know she won’t let me. She doesn’t say anything and I take this opportunity to leave as fast as possible. But instead of that, I start preparing to go out and it takes me a very long time, I go to the restroom two times, and it’s 12:50 already. I finally leave and hope that my friends are still there. They are meeting in some kind of a bar where they serve sea food. I head in the direction of the place and try to call the organizer of the event.

Dream2: I am in our first home again, this time in my room. It is dark outside, a few lights are on. I am in the bed with Cal Lightman. He looks terrific, there is not a single wrinkle on his face, a perfect radiant complexion. I feel attracted to him. Since the light is on, the neighbours can actually see me, so I go to the window to block the view of whatever may take place in my room. I can see that there is someone in the nearby building that may actually be watching, so I try to adjust the curtains. That’s not easy at all because the curtain is constantly changing and does not cover the entire window. Once I am satisfied with the result I go back to the bed to Cal, but he is not there anymore. I see an inflatable boat on the floor. It starts to self-inflate and I try to hold it back from expanding in the whole room.



Fragment3: I am in some kind of disco bar most likely with my boyfriend and some unknown DC friends. I start mixing the drinks. I order twice an “amaretto” drink which is more like an alcoholic chocolate mousse. I pay in banknotes that I lay on the table: 20, 10, 10. I have left 2x10 for me, which should be enough to cover another round.

Dream4: In some house with my bf. My mom is there as well. The agreement was that I can sleep over in my bf’s place, but instead I change my mind and decide to spend the night at my parents’ place. My bf is somewhat disappointed but I tell him I will come by in the next few days.

I am in a large building that has been made to accommodate a museum. I am wondering which floor to go to. I see a large painting on the wall and the signature of the artist or some kind of title. I read it out loud. My mom corrects me and pronounces it with two different accents “Exhibition of the composiccion”??? [end]

The alarm wakes me up, 1 hour before my final desired wake time. I visit the restroom, note key words, and have an average desire to lucid. I go back to bed, trying to review the last dream but I fall asleep.

Dream5 [DILD, ToTM]: I am in my old place and am looking through the window. I see some guys carrying a strangely shaped case, I am almost sure that there is some kind of weapon in there. I look back to inside of the room and suddenly become lucid. My bf is sitting on the bed behind me, but I pay no attention to him. I feel a bit as if everything is submerged in invisible water. I look to what is in front of me and a small dog appears in the room. It looks like pug breed type and it moves around really fast. I find it hard to follow it with my gaze. It transforms and is now another kind of puppy with brownish fur. I remember I should try to interact with the dream, grab something, so I grab the puppy and caress it a bit. Then I remember that I have to eat something for ToTM. [IRL I thought it would be easier to lick something, but completely forgot it in the dream] I look at the puppy, which is quickly transformed into some strange kind of meat left-over, and I wonder if I should eat the puppy? No way I eat that puppy, or whatever it is now! I get slightly distracted as next to the ex-puppy leftover is some wool thread and I have a strong desire to thought-lift and make it twirl around. I focus my eyes on it and try to move it, but I feel some resistance. I manage to move it a bit but not the way I wanted, I give up.

Still with the eating ToTM in mind, I look frantically around, I need to find something to eat and think of going in the kitchen to look for something. At that point I turn around and I see my bf eating bread. I think, bread ? Too plain, but whatever! He holds the very last piece in his hand. I tell him not to eat it. He mouth-feeds me the piece of soft white bread and I chew it slowly. It tastes like bread. I become very suspicious because of the intensity of the flavour and start thinking that while I am dreaming, my real boyfriend could really be feeding me with some bread and laughing at me. I ask my dream boyfriend if that is the case, but he denies.



Since I am still not awake I decide to do the only other thing I remember – try chanting Om. I go into another room, this is a completely different place now. I am by myself here, there is something wooden and green maybe the window frames, 2 lamps hang as low as my chest. I try to chant omm, but some shriek-like sound comes instead. I feel like this is not going to work. I hear another sound and then see the door to the apartment moving by itself and banging as if moved by the wind. Perhaps I should close it? But then my expectations start to build and I know something or someone is behind the door. Some DC quickly enters through the door, initially the shape of my bf, but it is not him. I don’t want to have another chase ruin the LD, so I try not to pay too much attention to him. At that moment 5-6 DCs enter, behaving a bit menacing they are walking towards me. I try to change my expectations and their reactions. They kind of slow down a bit and are somewhat more manageable so I am pretty happy with that.

I walk out of the apartment, through the door and find myself into something like mall or maybe inside a big store. I see a section where they sell semi-precious stones, some one-piece bracelets made of stone, like jade. I really like what I am seeing. I am starting to lose control over my own actions, perhaps being too happy with the dream. The DCs are following me now as I make a few steps while staring at the precious stones section. My subconscious turns on the music and I start singing a song cabaret style “Lucidity, the dream is fixed, lucidity” and joyfully march a few more steps. [end]

The dream collapses and I find myself in darkness, closed eyelids. I remain still and try to DEILD but can’t reconnect. I begin to feel sleepy so I decide to wake up before I forget everything. The dream memory feels more evasive that usual and I barely manage to hold on to it.

Final notes:I am confirming the best time for my DILDs so far is the last hour before final wake (with 7-8hrs sleep). Today I allowed myself an hour sleep to possibly LD instead of my somewhat successful snooze DILD experiments.

Another thing I find important to note is stabilization. My DILDs last long enough and there is really no need for me to rush like a crazy monkey, compromising dream stability and later recall. Next time: take it slow!

Before bed: exhausting cooking and late staying guests

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: two keywords noted

Fragment1: I was in a building in one of the rooms there was an improvised fitness center. I was considering whether to enroll but it was somewhat expensive, 11 per session. I think I agreed to give it a try and started doing some exercises. I really enjoyed moving around.

Fragment2[important feeling] Somewhere on the way between grandma's place and our old home. I am looking at the the cars passing by. Next to me is my dad, who has a strangely honest moment. He is sharing the contents of his heart, his innermost dreams. He tells me that he craves to one day get to an astonishing knowledge, this knowledge would be completely true and valid, yet so totally different from anything we know, unimaginable knowledge. I compare it then to the knowledge a more advanced civilization would give us.

woke up, decided to try some WBTB, but was asleep too fast, had two pretty vivid dreams though, one very close to lucid

Dream3 [very vivid]: I was at my parents's yard, it was dark. My mom was there, a large white rabbit came to us. We were trying to interact with it, but it was a bit stubborn, reminded me of a rabbit I had for a while when I was very young. My mom was forcefully grabbing it, surely causing it some pain, and it ran away. I felt bad for the rabbit and tried to call it back. It came back to me, and kind of like pressed itself strongly against me, seeking comfort.

Dream4[very vivid, lucid-like]: I just remember finding myself staring at some kind of a yard, where there was a workshop. It felt as if I am lucid, and I had a moment of deep realization of something, I just suddenly understood it, everything (regarding something) made perfect sense to me. As I was watching the yard, I remembered my great grandpa's wood processing workshop, remembering some past memories that belong to me with great clarity and understanding. I noticed the little pieces of saw dust on the table of the workshop. [those memories felt very real, more than usual fake dream memories, yet my great grandpa had been a tailor, never met him]

Fragment5: I was in a bus with my grandma2, she got off the bus, but left her bag and eye glasses on the seat. I rushed to gather all her things before the driver closes the door. I told him to wait for me to get off but he said he can't wait, I grabbed everything and jump rushed out of the bus door.

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Some ideas to try out:
I am still trying to find the optimal amount of awake time for WBTB. I have noticed that during meditation if I do it eyes closed, on some occasions I would drift away too much towards sleep, getting lots of the WILD sensations, HH, sometimes vibrations, and I catch myself falling asleep, feeling my dream body take off/separating. So perhaps instead of WBTB, wake up earlier than usual have a tea, meditate on couch, then lay down to lucid? At least worth a try when nobody is around.

Before sleep: noticing sleep sensations

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Dream recall method: dr1- wrote down a few sentences and went over dream 2 times in mind before falling asleep; fragments – no method, had to wake up

HH1: unconsciously talk thinking to myself about some DV post

HH2: was dream thinking how hard it is for a woman to go out with a man in some restrictive countries

Dream1: I was at grandma2, and backpack was on the floor wide open. I noticed how many strange objects were there. We were about to go to the mountains and I was happy about that. I was thinking what to bring to read there, some magazine perhaps.

Now we are in the outskirts of the mountain, near a bus stop. I have most likely forgotten to go up the mountain and am heading back home instead. There are people on the bus stop and without any notice a dog bites my back. I do not feel any pain but I am tightly grabbed by its jaws, it doesn’t let go. I start thinking out loud why it attacked me, I wasn’t mentally provoking it in any way. I try to negotiate my way out of its grab, by talking to the dog. It eventually releases me.

I am at the lower part of the mountain where there are houses around. I head down a slope, but as I look at it, I see the shore. This turns into a very beautiful scene, where I am looking at a wonderful array of sea cliffs, the waves slowly clashing against the cliffs. I look at the sky and it is clear blue, the sun is shining on the cliffs and they look fantastic. I feel the urge to go as close to the water as possible. The waves, though, wet some cliffs so I decide not to go that far because it is slippery there. There are lots of people watching the sea and cliffs, some take pictures. Just behind me is the city hall and the female mayor, short dark red-brown hair comes to tell us that pictures are forbidden. An unpleasant DC man continues taking pics even photographs me. Soon two guards come and take everybody to a bus to drive them home or just drop them off somewhere. I want to go back to the beautiful place, so when the bus doors open I escape and go back. At this point the sun is already setting and the cliffs are darker. There are no people around so I still tour around looking at the shore. The guard comes back to pick me up again. We are walking somewhere but he has a sudden surge to visit the restroom, so I say that I will be waiting outside.



Fragment2: I am with my bf in a café maybe. But then I decide to go somewhere else, on my way I decide to go back. I get really confused in this unknown to me city center. The dream was quite vivid and I had a hard time orienting and even crossing the street where there were cars but no traffic lights. I cannot find the place I was initially in, so I try calling my bf. I end up in some nice looking hotel, preparing to have lunch there. I am not a guest of the hotel, but can use its facilities including having lunch there.

Fragment3: Another confusing walk. Initially I found the restroom but go out and try to go back. I am in this building complex and go round in circles, always ending up in something like a café, but I can’t find the restroom, I begin to feel completely lost in this maze.

Fragment4: Some kind of embroidered patches with animated characters. What was peculiar about this embroidery was that it kept on moving even after you sew it on clothes.

Fragment5: This was supposed to be a friend of mine, but it was a completely another person, with short hair and bright red thin lips. She has some kind of red medallion, which looked like a soft cotton Christmas toy.

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End-of-the-month review

Days since registered at DV: 19

March LD before DV reg: 1 DILD

March LDs after DV reg: 1 semi-lucid; 2 DILDs (both snooze type), pretty long and stable

Dream recall: fluctuating between very detailed dreams to remembering fragments and noting key words.

DJ: I am content that I have kept a pretty consistent DJ in the last few weeks


Things to continue working on:

- RC: start the day with RC; RC every time I meet a person!

- DS: add toilet to DS

- Sleep sensations: to increase general awareness and prepare for WILD

- WILD: I have to organize myself and make serious attempts at least twice a week?

- Sleep schedule: go to bed on time


Challenges:

- Disruptions: Unfortunately 2 guests will come in mid April in our apartment for 3 weeks full time, so I guess at that time my dream quests will be harder to follow.

- Negativity: sometimes I would wake up and think “No LD again", feeling disappointed. This has got to stop. Think instead, “The next LD is just around the corner” “I enjoy what I am doing and am happy with any dreams I can recall”.

- Laziness: just keep on writing DJ entries and doing RCs!!!