memorable

Date: 8 Dec

Entry 2/2

[Summary of non-ld part]:

In school, invited by teacher and classmates to go to the movies. One of them forgets an item belonging to her husband and we go back. On the way back, I lose sight of my classmates and go to bring another item to another classmate that was previously in the room, going to her place.

Her place looks pretty weird with some guys going to a sauna room next to her door. The room turns into a bathroom and I have a look at my reflection, my hair's different but I like it too much to realize something's off. After a while of vanity staring, with the place now a trailer on the street, I identify that my features aren't exactly supposed to look like this and it finally hits me.

My memory is kind of blurry about the surroundings but I remember getting out of the trailer, then walking to this U turn, where I begin to feel the dream thinning. I immediately start rushing without any purpose, can't think of any tasks either, which adds to my worries. I tell myself to stop doing this and try to look around instead, notice some sort of store where I try to read the name. This seems to take the attention off dream instability and helps fix things.

I'm in the middle of a heavy traffic road, cars going in both directions. I feel like I want to push couple of vans off the road to test my abilities. I try pushing one, but to my surprise, it feels heavy as a real van. I continue until managing to make a number of vans lift off in the air, then throw them using tk near the road. Then I turn around to the traffic behind me, lift a number of cars, allow them to stay in the air for a while then tk drag them to the same place I left the previous ones. At some point a few of the cars in the air start to morph into chunks of metal and emit this strong metallic smell.

There's a bit of green (like grass and trees) on the scene but overall I don't like the composition. I command the traffic to stop and try to mentally prevent any new cars from coming and think about cleaning up around. How should I do that, erase the pile of metal crap? Then I remember I wanted to try drawing with the finger. The scenery in front of me has many levels, but I find an empty spot where the end of the scenery meets the blue sky and draw a triangle here and concentrate on seeing what's going to happen. Indeed, there is a ghost-like shape and especially in the beginning it is the Great pyramid, the right proportions and color. A bit later it becomes somewhat pointier and the stone darker, more like a Nubian pyramid. I give it a try to fix it a bit, but it more or less remains the same. And of course, it is unfortunately too far. I know I have to reach it as fast as possible.

Not too used to flying, I start swimming in the air, floating towards the pyramid pretty successfully. Interestingly, I also breathe the same way I would during swimming. The scenery in front of me is an mix of steep hills and walls. I keep swim flying, reaching one of the walls, see cameras and barbed wire. At this point I think about the title of the journal entry, this is the most guarded pyramid in the world (already thinking about journaling!). Swim flying and climbing, I am getting closer to the top of the structure, when I see that the pyramid has turned into a number of houses and radio tower. I want to do the drawing again, but the dream fades.

(Now, I kind of feel a bit guilty of drawing exactly the same thing as CL, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Also, should have thought more about the pyramid, rather than titles)

Date: 08 Dec

Entry 1/2

Wbtb: did a shorter than usual wbtb from a natural wake where I had 1/3 latte. Did a quick goal revision and couple of mantras, felt asleep within a reasonable amount of time.

Had about 3 vivid dreams/fragments, then the ld.

The beginning of the ld's hard to recall. I'm on a street that looks familiar and we comment on this with a female dream friend, some remarks about journalling too.

One thing that is very peculiar about the place is that all the buildings' colors are extremely soft, chalky color. Each one is in different color but very pale. They look extremely beautiful. I am aware that this is a dream, but have somewhat lower level of lucidity. Vaguely remember how we went to this other part of town.

My lucidity and rational thinking sharpens as we go on our way. We are a group of people and someone is leading us (I can't see who at the moment). This is a pretty good arrangement since it keeps me busy and my secondary ld goal is exactly to walk around, see as much as possible for as long as possible.

This is the city center now and I catch a glimpse of a gothic cathedral behind one of the street corners. It is also colorful with the same pale chalky colors and material. There's the overall impression that the whole city center colors are like this. At the same time the quality is extremely high, everything is very 3D, stable and vivid. I spot a female classmate in the crowd on the square, which I assume is part of our group. I am happy about that and say something to her, but she starts laughing and replies with some weird sounds, her eyes look as if she's wearing lenses too. Not a smart DC I conclude and lose a bit of interest.

[Warning animal violence]

It's almost like a scene change as we keep walking down another street. I cross the street and examine the ground below my feet and it feels so detailed and real, there's a piece of mini-trash I try to identify, a scaffold area in front of me. I get distracted by a small white dog that I pay too much attention to and it sticks to my leg, trying to bite me. I try as much as possible to be indifferent and get rid of it, but it sticks, so I have no choice, now I want to break its front teeth to deactivate it. I take it with my hands and imagine I am super strong, trying to break the front teeth that look kind of weird too. Not much success so I swirl around and throw the dog away.

I feel disgusted and start rummaging in a dream bag of mine, hoping to find wet wipes to clean my hands, which I do. I feel like I have messed up, being distracted by the dog instead of following the group. This has caused the surroundings to change and we are in another part of town, lots of green trees can be seen. The group leader is now walking with my classmate further down the street, while I am trying to catch up with them together with a blond girl, also at this point part of the group.

They slow down and I face the group leader/our guide, a woman in her 40es. She seems very sympathetic and lively and I feel it's time to ask her some questions. As I speak, I notice and think about how easy it has been for me to speak and act in this dream, how stable everything has been and for such a long time. I ask her a number of questions, to give me some tips in general and also regarding my meditation practices. Unfortunately, she gives me an answer that doesn't make much sense, about some guy bringing her here. I feel somewhat disappointed as I thought she might be a useful dream guide, she has been guiding us on this city tour all along. The dream fades.

Date: 06 Dec

Was supposed to do a wbtb, but felt really sleepy, so I just kept nervously waking up and falling asleep again. Was more deeply asleep than usual, had a pretty cool dream and a mini-ld at the end.

Dream: In some city of the future, there are business people walking on the street. I am in some sort of transportation, with tables in the middle. The guide is talking about us opening the fancy books on the table, but I don't have one. The guy (to be JL) in front of me gives me his book.

My attention is then drawn by the resting yogi platforms on the street. Initially a few, then many (DS), looking extremely interesting, like two rows of beige hammocks, each hammock cell uniquely decorated with some tribal art. These seem to continue down the street like forever (DS) and an old sadhu is horizontally resting on each one. I notice I am making sounds with my mouth as if playing a didgeridoo. Amongst the individual cells for the yogis are a few reporters from National Geographic. As I think about these reporters, the face of one of them turns into a human tiger face.

We are still in the transportation and the guide explains about some sort of formation, that I think I noticed is in the sand between each cell? It's like a barely visible vortex in the sand, but when he explains about the formation, I begin to see as if looking on a screen, a computer model graphics of a donut shape. He explains that this formation is the result of the wind and some electromagnetic particles which when falling get to form this shape over time, due to magnetic influences.

There are different types of futuristic cars flying in the air near us. They look like mini planes, but flatter, wider and made from some sort of black material.

The guy that gave me his book is now Jude Law. Near the windows are many interesting (DS) bottles of fancy cosmetics. My attention is torn between him and them, but I touch his arm and leave my hand there, waiting for reaction. He doesn't seem to mind and keeps his arm in the same position. At some point he is eating a pack of dried/transforming to fresh blueberries and offers me some, I refuse.

I begin examining the various cosmetics they have. Some sun tanning stuff and lots of colorful bottles and boxes of expensive cosmetics. I turn to Jude and say that one thing hasn't changed in the future and that is that some cosmetics are still prohibitively expensive. Then I take a purple box of face cream and read out what the benefits are supposed to be, reversing the meaning to the total opposite, my speech turning into a funny negative campaign for L'oreal. Jude is enjoying it too.

I nervously wake up, remember the totm, and go back there.

DEILD: Jude is to my right now and we are still in some sort of transportation. I briefly wonder whether to announce that this is about TOTM, but just say, "Please give me a present", or something along those lines. He looks at me surprised, especially after my long cosmetics speech, like he didn't expect me to want anything from him. I add "It can be something small", thinking it doesn't have to be expensive. He comes closer and gives me a super sexy kiss. We continue kissing for a while, while I contemplate this. The dream fades and I head for the journal.

Date: 11 Nov

Pre bed: 200mg val

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I remember the previous dream and then from the middle/extended end of this one.

DILD: I am now on some unknown streets, it's a bright day. There is a plot going on, but I also know that I am dreaming. A girl maybe school age is my companion and this guy is waiting to meet us? in the middle of the street. I have the feeling that the dream is coming to an end, so move around quickly and try to absorb as much as possible.

I go in a small store where they sell clothes, but these clothes have special magical properties, like they can change your shape and turn you into animal. I feel the guy is waiting for me outside, so decide to ignore the magic items and go look for him. But when I do go out, the entire street has changed and he is no longer there. I am sad that I missed him. I remember trying to call him to come back but no result. I shortly contemplate whether to go back to the store. What was I supposed to do? Meet someone?

The girl from the earlier part now comes from somewhere and I finally remember that I was supposed to ask a question. At this point there is the realization that I had many chances to do so, yet always forgot to. I take it slow and ask the question - what are you thankful for, and become all ears, trying not to influence her answer. She opens her mouth and only some gibberish comes out, I can't make any word from that. I ask her again and she starts laughing maniacally. That pisses me off because I still expect to hear a normal answer. In the end she blurts out: "Are you deaf or what?". Her eyes seem quite lively but I have no explanation for this behavior.

Once again, I get the feeling that the dream is thinning out and look around wondering what to do and where to go. I remember that I wanted to go for Toty, but feel like this is the end of the journal entry where one finally figures out what to do at the moment the dream ends. I reckon the dream won't allow for any Toty completion at this point, so try to make the most of whatever dream time is left and look around. It's the like the main shopping street of a small town and for some reason, the area (I can't recall if it was) between stores or a mini street where I can see is more sun-lit, it looks extremely appealing to me and I decide to go there.

I know that I am on borrowed dream time and I try to take in whatever the dream offers. It's a small park type of pond, mostly dried out, but in one end is an indescribable large fountain with lots of jets beautifully arranged around the center. It undergoes some sort of transformation to become like the shape of a large oak tree made of ice. The texture is like a mix of slowly flowing fountain water and ice.

I look around and notice how on the surface of the dried out pond now there are scattered small pieces of ice and can see the reflection of the sunlight in each one, it's amazing. And as I scan the surroundings, I notice my special friend sitting near the other end of the pond. He is looking down, as if reading a book and I call out his name. He sees me and comes closer. Meanwhile, I notice that I am chewing a stupid gum and spit it out, but can still feel it in my mouth, ignore. In the last moments I manage to steal from this dream, we hug and try to ice-skate on the surface of the pond, towards the ice oak tree. The alarm wakes me up, recall is hard.

Date: 08 Nov

Wbtb: latte (1/3), 34 mg

LD: I suddenly find myself in our living room and it is dark. My initial thought is that this is quite a bad location for any TOTY tasks. I take some time to fit in instead of rushing like crazy. There are creepy noises coming from somewhere and I don't feel very comfortable with that, so decide to stay where I am. My hands find the tablet and I use it to light around. I think I am also seeing the HI lights swirling around the room at some point.

I open the browser and decide to type dreamviews, but as soon as I type "dre" the keyboard changes and I give up. Then think that it will be really cool to play some music. I tap a couple of buttons like the music app and a song starts playing, there's also something on the screen like album picture. I expected to hear some cool dream techno but it's a nice rock song. The only problem is the sound is not loud enough for my preferences. I want the sound to blast all around me or at least to be a bit louder. My tech instinct is to increase the volume on the tablet and I keep on pressing the button but no result.

I decide to check out how the other rooms look, carrying the tablet to light the way. There are 4 plastic and paper shopping bags in front of the entrance door. I also take a peek in the bedroom and see bf asleep. I concentrate and see a sleeping body where I should be. This feels a bit creepy and I quickly walk away, trying not to wake myself up (also flashing with the tablet in my own face).

I go back to the living room, now contemplating an exit. The most efficient way seems the window. I face the it, wondering whether to directly phase though it or try to open it, being a bit concerned that phasing might make me end up in the void, like a few days ago. I do a mix of both, half phase, half open the window which is somewhat stuck.

The outside world is someplace unknown to me, but I don't pay attention to that. I end up on a balcony and try to figure out how to get down from here. There are kids playing on the street, and if I correctly remember the trees' leave are already yellow? I shout something at the kids about them helping me out, more to feel confident that asking for help, then I do the swing forward and end up on the street. Not sure if I used a tree branch or just the habitual move.

Before I go anywhere, I take a last look at our place. The window is now open, and we are dangerously close to the ground, making it possible for someone to climb back there. I briefly wonder if it is possible that the dream body actually has opened a real window, then dismiss the idea. There are three kids running around, one wears a strange purple clay-like mask on his face. I tell him to behave, there was something that he did. Then, I think I asked them where the wall of China is, but no reply. The kids were pretty independent and lively DCs though.

I decide to walk around and look for the wall of China. Everything is extremely vivid and stable. It is midday, feels like early fall too. There's so much detail. I see a street name on one of the nearby buildings and try to read it but then change my mind. This time, I decide that I will allow the dream to gently lead me to any desired TOTY objects, rather than me forcing things to appear. As I am scanning the surroundings for something appropriate to use, I notice this church on one of the streets. It's made of pink sandstone, very beautiful. The whole building is absolutely perfect and so elaborate that I just can't believe my mind can create so much and correct detail. Still checking out what's around me, I make sure to also look for any tall buildings that can fit another TOTY. Nothing too tall though.

I turn right and explore the other street, looking for the wall of china or any elements that might help get there. There are rail tracks in front of what I think is near our place and also a pretty large and quite beautiful train station, its facade is made of bricks with the same pinkish color. I decide to go back, looking for greenery in the other direction. Instead of greenery or the street where I came from, I now find myself facing rail tracks again and a number of heavy trains are passing by. As I wait for them to go away and evaluate the terrain and how hard it will be to cross all these rails, I think it might be a good idea to rub my hands and remind myself that this is a dream. I am casually walking around, rubbing my hands, but the dream already seems out of fuel and I gradually wake up.

I am supposed to journal, but fall back to non-ld sleep instead.

Entry 2/2

I stay still for DEILD, although my leg feels uncomfortable.

DEILD: The very first moments are a bit vague, but the next thing I know, I am in what looks like the desert (I don't fully realize this yet, just acknowledge I am in). There are a number of DCs randomly walking around and I take some time to feel comfortable in the scene. I notice a jade colored large crystal in the sand, pick it up and remark how beautiful it is. There are more crystals now and in the midst of them I find the most amazing piece (fist size) I have ever seen. It has a variety of bright colors and really interesting structure.

The sun is shining brightly and the whole scene is super vivid too. As I keep staring at the crystal I get the feeling that it is about to change, so move my eyes away. There is a DC guy nearby and I comment on the beauty of the crystal, then look at my hand again. I am now holding several pieces of smaller gemstones, deep colors of blue and green. I address the DC and ask him for advice. I really wish I could take those gemstones with me, can he tell me how to do that. I clasp my fist as tightly as possible to hold on to the crystals.

I look around and examine the surroundings. I remember I wanted to do TOTY and briefly wonder if there might be something suitable here. The sky is deep blue, the sun is shining and there is sand in every direction. Finally, it dawns on me that the Egypt task could fit here (although I haven't reviewed it in a while). I think about the pyramids and get the pyramids plus sphinx complex but very far in the distance. It's more like a single clearly distinguishable pyramid and the sphinx in front of it. Anyways, I think it's too far so decide to get another sphinx somewhere nearby. I do my looking for object subcon summon - look from left to right with a bit less focus, scanning the surroundings and expecting to spot the desired object (quite similar to looking for something lost at home).

My mind begins to make the scene more Egyptian now. A few palms appear in the distance, (I only notice them vaguely), Egyptian statues and a number of small sphinx-like statues. One catches my attention (it's one of those winged sphinxes) and I decide that will be it. Part of it is missing. I briefly remember about the nose. Then I see a light beige to albino lion, very beautiful but kind of scary. I am thinking it looks less friendlier than tigers. I try to ignore it and get on the sphinx statue which is about the size of a pony. In the meantime, I notice that I am still holding my fist tight and continue to do so. The lion comes closer and I try to start the sphinx statue to move (forgetting about the nose), but instead it only rocks back and forth like those spring rockers for a while, then the dream fades.

I try to DEILD once again, but the same leg position is terribly uncomfortable now. My fist is tightly clenched and I slowly open it, with the childish hope that I was able to bring those beautiful crystals back with me.

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mg mel, wbtb: 1/2 latte

DILD+: I've got the impression that I deilded two times after dream fade, got into the same place with the first deild, but my memory is really messed up, so putting this as one ld.

I am on the porch of this place the way it used to look years ago. I am staring ahead of me, as if trying to figure out if I am in the dream. I confirm it feels like a dream, then turn around to go towards the yard, but the porch is very high and there is a steep slope just below it, so not very convenient for a jump. I decide to take the stairs and go down one level. Notice some details of the house and get a mix of memories that seem to change the place. I am now on the lower level of the yard and see a very long truck that carries some sort of long metal wires. Random thoughts arise about there being a construction site in the proximity and how they have ruined the place and I almost lose lucidity.

Ignoring the truck, I continue on my way, this time trying to climb to the upper level of the yard using some sort of a morphing ladder. This time, I decide to experiment and see if I can stretch my hands like Mr. Fantastic as I am holding on to the ladder or whatever it is now. My hands stretch somewhat, but it is the ladder thing that stretches the most. The whole thing becomes a flexible rubbery substance that is being dragged down like a curtain, as I clench onto it.

Still hanging in the air, holding on to it, the next idea that comes to my mind is that I actually want to climb it like a cat (i.e. with claws) or even better, why not make the surface of my fingers just stick to the ladder. I am midair holding myself by clawing on the surface of the ex-ladder, trying to smoothly let go and just allow my fingers to stick to the surface, but feel that I am about to fall. Then, subconsciously apply some sort of mini- vacuum effect with my fingers, that makes the ladder stick to my fingertips. There is a thin indigo energy layer around and behind my fingers as I look at them.

I finally climb to the upper level. There is some sort of long white board on which I decide to do random acrobatic tricks I can't exactly recall in detail. Then I remember reading on DV that someone used a certain tech to fly and decide to try it out. It consists of putting your hands on the ground and launching yourself by applying pressure to it (Man of Steel). I try to do that and feel some pressure, but can't take off.

I turn around and acknowledge the greenery which reminds me it may be good for the Wall of China. I look around, thinking about the wall, but only get a couple of Asian/Buddhist statues made of ebony among the trees ahead of me. Maybe I need a little bit of motivation for the task, so I start singing a Chinese tune to help me out. It echoes loudly around me, but the dream slowly fades.

Date: 15 Oct

Pre bed: 1xGingko combo (Gingko, Ginseng, lecithin, mate)

TST: 6.5 hrs

Bad night of sleep thanks to the neighbors.

LD: At grandma's place and am trying to make a cup of tea by using the boiling water from the tap. However, I can't find the tea anywhere. There is a butler whose name is Charles. We go out and he is driving me to the street where we are supposed to pick the tea from some sort of office. There is snow everywhere, I play with it with my hands. Feels normal.

I become lucid, but have no immediate task in mind. Instead, I decide to play along and go to where we were headed and see what happens. I am a bit uncertain about being able to generate an office, but walk towards the building. The entrance's at the back and I enter the yard. There is some weird flickering going on. I wonder what's that about. The street light has problems? There are electricity cables connected to it and as I move, they get in the way of the light from the lamp, producing this flickering effect. I can't believe this level of detail/effect is possible. Anyways, I continue on my way, get in the building, now there's this guy with me. The office is supposed to be on the first floor. I almost lose lucidity here as the stairs get extremely deformed and narrow, I fail to reach my destination and go back to the building entrance.

The guy is with me and now there is a woman in the team. They are both dressed with green overalls and are like prisoners from an alien colony. They talk about the guy having some sort of disease. We head towards the street, they are holding 3 guns like Uzzis but green as well. Cool, I am thinking very enthusiastically that we are going to have some sort of dream adventure. At this moment I remember to try to get them to join me in my AF TOTY quest. I turn towards what feels like the city center and think about AF. I can hear the sound of falling/running water and soon see that have caused a large city type of river to appear. Initially, there are 3 jets of water as if coming from a fountain, but actually coming from the river. I have the feeling that AF would be hard to form here, but still think the scene is good for the Great Barrier Reef Task. I come closer to the riverbank, the water is quite deep, extremely clear and is about to overflow from my side. In my mind, this is the Great barrier reef already. I gather a bit of courage and plunge.

The scene disappears and my body faces the bottom of what looks like the ocean. It's hard to see as it is very similar to when one is really trying to see underwater. My entire body is submerged in this clear, somewhat shallow water. There is enough light and I can feel the sun shining bright above and as hard as it is to see clearly, I can distinguish lots of grains of sand just below me. I struggle to get a better view of everything, but the impression of having water in the eyes and not adapting yet, remains. I think about the next step, corals, but they are nowhere in sight. At the same time, I think about the sea turtle that's supposed to be here (CL that's from you!) and can see the turtle swimming in the water with the sand right in front of me. In addition to that, I can hear a joyful marine type of tune playing softly in the background. I am still struggling with this watery blurry vision though and it finally gets the best of me and the dream totally fades.

Date: 09 Oct Entry 3/3

This dream was quite long, so can't recall some parts of it.

LD: I am in this place, which looks like our first home and changes during the dream. Someone talks to me about this weird party that is about to begin later.

We are talking with grandma when I notice someone's at the door. I tell her to be quiet and go to see who is it. A strange woman comes in to discuss the details - party for 60 people, just as we had planned it. I go to the bathroom and see some sort of installation and plastic cups inside. I get a false memory that while I was sleeping, they changed the entire room. Lots of people get in and the party begins. Somewhere along the way and possibly due to some of these false memories, I become lucid. I spend time looking around, see classmates, notice details but I can't remember much else here.

Later on, I spot my friend who is also here and approach him. I concentrate and begin a very energy consuming talk about shared dreaming. I remember the music is too loud as we speak. For some reason, I am way too close to his face and see lots of unnecessary details there, but I take these as a good sign, hoping that it's really him. I tell him this might be a shared dream, ask him if he knows what that is, also what lucid dreaming is. In the beginning he replies with more or less normal sentences and I get the impression he simply has no idea what I'm talking about, despite my efforts to convince him that this is a shared dream (which he seems to be accepting at the same time). I start with the basics again, asking him if he dreams and remembers his dreams at all. Then, he becomes a lifeless puppet and faints/falls asleep. Refusing to accept reality, I come up with the explanation that he has fallen into deep sleep, so I need to bring him back.

I drag him along to these two other DCs and ask them what can I do to bring him back. They recommend cold water. Conveniently, I see one of those water dispensers. I get him directly underneath the dispenser and turn the water on but he doesn't wake up. At this point, I also notice how light his body is and how easy I am dragging him along. I finally accept that he probably wasn't the real him anyways and leave him.

There is a mirror in front of me and I get a flashback of an earlier part of the ld, which at that time feels accessible. In the meantime, my friend is back again as a background DC and I decide to hold him by the hand and go into a dark room to face the Yurei. There is a closed door that looks promisingly creepy. Before I get in, my friend's gone somewhere, but there is a classmate nearby, so I take him instead. I go in the room, it is not as dark as I had expected but is convenient enough to get a creepy feel. Little natural light comes from the outside, the room is mostly empty with a brownish hue and there are some sort of sections that separate the room. I think about the Yurei/ring girl and immediately in front of me and in every section I get lots of creepy looking girls and things. I can clearly see two of them have scarce clothing and long hair in front of their faces. The rest of the DCs are rather formless but in the same color. Soon the hair of all these DCs and creatures turns from black to mahogany, but that's not all. The individual hairs now look like twigs, mahogany colored edgy twigs. The DCs all head towards me, luckily at that moment, I lose my sight, but remain in the dream where I can hear them making scary sounds, while trying to fight them and push them away with my hands. The dream fades.

Date: 09 Oct Entry 2/3

At this point I just wanted to sleep, so only wrote the key words for this dream.

LD: No idea how this dream started. I am on one of the streets in my hometown. There are also lots of kids playing here. Having no particular goals in mind, I decide to explore around and get in a shop where they sell crystals, bracelets, etc. My first though is "what am I doing here", since this is an ld and I don't usually do this in lds but non-lds. Anyways, there's some pretty cool stuff on sale - colorful necklaces and I check them out. The shop keeper is a woman that greets me in Spanish. I get a bit confused, does she see me? (I sometimes randomly assume that am OBEing somewhere and the people might be real instead of DCs.)

I say a few words to her and then she gives me some sort of a wooden board with letters on it. I am thinking this is similar to an ouija board and might use it to obtain answers/info this way. It also looks like a good idea for invention, because I haven't seen anything like this before. There is a text that has been scratched on it (no ink) and I try to read the message, but the letters look like ancient Greek and turn to random ones. I then face her and decide to ask her to give me an advice, anything that can be useful for me. I am hoping of hearing concrete instructions of what exactly I should do. (yeah, I know!)

She tells me that I have to live in harmony with the surroundings, because everything from the environment (some words I can't understand) changes our DNA.

I find the answer much more profound than one would assume. I can't believe she just said that. It changes our DNA? She nods yes. Can you repeat this again. (I am trying to memorize it as hard as I can). She repeats the answer again. I want to ask her more things, but at this moment, similarly to inception, lots of DCs - the kids from outside storm the place and I can't talk to her. I tell them to bugger off but the dream ends.


Almost forgotten short ld.

LD Frag:I am looking at my feet and decide I want to change my clothes and shoes. Initially, I have the desire to make a pair of purple shoes appear, but briefly see only one. Next, I am wearing a flip flop on one foot and a gray high heel shoe on my other foot. I make some sort of grey leggings appear, then think people won't be very interested in reading this entry.

Date: 28 Sept

WBTB: Gingko

LD: I walk towards a tram station, few classmates are here as well. I am looking for some items, there seems to be an open air store with products piled all around. I think about my plans to ld. Mom is also here. As I look straight ahead, I realize that I am already dreaming. I remember my goal AF and quickly head in an unknown direction, but then remind myself to stop rushing and take some time to look around.

It is early in the evening and there is a full moon, normal size. As I pass the corner, thinking about AF a fountain structure appears, it has something Greek/classical to it, I think "Poseidon"? There are some statues (don't pay attention of what) and water is randomly sprinkling from them. I want to build AF here and now, using whatever water material is available, so I go closer to the structure. I am wearing sport pants that are sliding down my feet, making it hard to move. I wonder if I should take them off, but remember this is a bad idea and do my best to make them disappear by ignoring them, then continue moving forward without problems. The nearby fountain has a small section with very attractive water and ice surrounding it. I have the strong desire to get in the ice cold water and enjoy the feel of it. It's an amazing feeling but the dream fades and I wake up.

Mini-ld: I appear in a store and recognize this is a dream. I shortly stare at some prices and erase the ink with my hand. There are tons of winter clothes on me and I feel very uncomfortable. Of course, I start taking them off until I am wearing a T-shirt and feel much better.

I go out and notice a guy sitting in this street cafe. The dream starts to destabilize, so I join him and tell him I need his help with stabilization. I hold his small child-like hands and examine them. I quickly think of AF and look at a nearby building and there is building waterfall (i.e. water falling from the building instead of rocks). That looks reassuring and I want to go there, but the dream fades.

I wake up, somewhat later and without much involvement on my part I DEILD to the same dream.

Mini-deild: I am looking at the face of the same DC and wonder about the whole dream resuming like this. I caress his face and kiss him on the cheeks as a stabilization tech, but the dream doesn't last long and I wake up.

Date: 19 Sept

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: 60 mg caffeine (RB)

Non-ld fragment: I am trying to take a shortcut at night in this familiar from previous dreams city. In one of the dark streets, I run into criminal DCs with very bad teeth. A number of young people sitting on a bench agree to defend me if necessary and I go sit there. I find one of the guys extremely beautiful. We talk for a while, but they are leaving soon. I notice that his whole body is covered with small, shiny clear droplets of water and stare in fascination.

In love: Very deep sleep and my recall is not very good.

We are moving in the dorms because it is much cheaper. There are six beds in the room and a guy who already lives here. I ask if only two of the beds, ours, are going to be used. He confirms.

The dream goes on for quite a while with all kinds of thoughts about clothes, bathroom etc. Then it looks like more people actually live here and we will be sharing the room, now apartment with them. Someone opens the door and lots of DCs come in, new roommates, I think. This girl asks me questions about the admin, I don't understand what she is saying.

Bf is gone and this guy comes and talks to me. I realize that this is a dream but my mind is kind of foggy. I remember having thoughts about me being in deep sleep and that this is good for stability. The guy leaves and another one appears, I like him very much and remark that he shows some persistent DC qualities. He comes and goes several times but looks the same, gray t-shirt, black hair, some eyeliner even, a bit like Mark Terenzi. He also gives me a kiss. We talk for some time but my memory is really bad. The dream starts to fade, I lose my sight but I can still hear him. I tell him to keep talking to me, I will hold on to the sound. I can feel my eyelids and am careful not to mess this up, but soon the image returns. He gives me another kiss. The dream slips away again and I struggle to bring it back. He is on the other side now but looking totally different and there is another guy dressed with the same clothes and holding a similar colorful object. The dream fades and I fall into oblivion.

Falling: I am walking down the stairs talking to this DC. It looks like I have forgotten my handbag, I turn back and see it at the top of the stairs. I make it fly directly to my hands. The DC remarks that I am not supposed to do this while abroad. I have this warp-like feeling and realize that I never woke up from the previous dream. The B6 woman is also here in the background and I wonder if I should go and talk to her, examine her energy, and ask why does she always behave like that. At the same time, I don't want to waste too much time with her and risk things getting out of hand, so decide to just ignore her.

I am looking at a large modern glass vase that they are selling in this now shop and try to move it with tk, but not much success. I also try with an elegant china tea cup but I feel that I don't really want to be breaking these things. Finally, I remember Angel Falls and follow the plan of "here and now". The main idea is to use the turn your back technique. I already hear water running just behind me (like a fountain in a mall). I am in some sort of not very well lit mall too. I take a few steps back, concentrating on changing the surroundings. I actually slip backwards a few steps, which feels kind of weird and not very effective, but the surrounds begin to change a bit. I decide to facilitate the process of getting rid of the old scene and into a new scene by falling backwards.

As I do this, it's as if something immaterial swallows me and I enter void weightlessness combined with motion. I shortly see lots of greenery in front of me that is very similar to rainforest vegetation, but it quickly vanishes. I am speeding backwards in the void with this weird feeling of traveling through space at high speed. For a second my mind is totally blank and I feel stressed, I try to remind myself to keep cool, be patient as it seems to be taking too long and shortly pretend I am meditating. Then I try to concentrate on one of my visualizations and build the scene as I had imagined it. During the entire time of the experience, I hear the sound of falling water. It is much harder to concentrate and visualize than I thought, but I succeed in having lots of water flowing on me in the darkness now. I try to prepare the scene again even though it's not the right place where I actually wanted to start from. I am still flying backwards through space, this thing doesn't stop even if I expect it to. I briefly see the top of a barren hill with a non-human castle in the negative mood of some game or a game related dream. I don't want to be there. The falling continues and I finally find myself in bed. I stay still for a while but nothing happens.

Comments: is it just me or is it really hard to concentrate on anything while in the void. I have noticed this another time as well. The moment everything disappears, my mind also goes totally black and if my mind is blank...then there will be nothing to project around me. Maybe I need to think about stuff, rather than struggle to visualize.

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Date: 16th Sept

Pre bed: 3mg mel

WBTB: 26 mg caffeine (capp.)

Comment: post 1/2 for 16th of Sept. Way behind with updating, trying to keep these post as efficient as possible.

Micro-ld: In my first room, at some point in the dream, I make a call to this woman in the administration and discuss some things with her.

I am in the room and moving in a strange manner, float gliding on the floor and know that this is a dream. I keep on moving around like this but then see the B6 bitch and for some reason assume that she is real. I get totally distracted by what she says and lose 99 percent of my lucidity. We start fighting, bitting and scratching each other. While we are fighting, I keep contemplating, how could I know that this is a dream, she looks so much like her real self.

LD1: I find myself on the street of my hometown and happily remark that this is a dream. I see this guy I know and his friends and think about a song I want to make them sing. I make a few movements with my hands to control the guys like a conductor and get some results but when I listen more closely, they seem to talk more than sing and are slightly out of sync. Then from somewhere I can hear the Manu Chao song (which is a mix of many similar songs) play loudly from somewhere. The sound is absolutely fantastic and I am thinking about how cool listening to a song like this in a dream is. I can hold my concentration on the music for a while and then it stops. I see my friend, still euphoric I greet her and think about interacting with her, but then decide to leave the memory of her alone. I feel the dream is fading.

A classmate of mine appears and I decide to hold on to him for stabilization. I embrace him. He is wearing a T-shirt similar to that of bf. He puts his hands around my waist and then moves one hand to my butt. I feel that this may quickly escalate to something else as I have a moment of sexy feelings. I look at his face, his lips. But no! I have been thinking about this lately (very annoyed with myself), so no! We are just hugging, I concentrate on that and make the sexy feeling go away. I still enjoy the moment, it is like as if we are about to dance to this soft music that I can almost hear at the background. Then I feel a drop of water on my hand and look around to see that it is starting to rain. Absolutely amazing effect, I think to myself. I am still in the same position, in his embrace, pretending to be stabilizing and examine his well shaped arm, notice his tan and the (sorry guys) flawless soft golden hairs. And as if taking in all this detail isn't enough, I can suddenly see his chest expanding and it dawns on me that he is breathing like a normal person. I find his breathing extremely fascinating, due to the fact that this is a dream, and also as I ponder how my subcon has created so much life like detail this time. I must be really immersed in the dream, I think to myself.

Unfortunately, I am taking too much time in this state of awe and feel the dream starts to fade again. I remember I wanted to make a call and look around. There is another DC to my left, similar to another classmate. I also think about my classmate who's holding me. These DCs must have a phone with them. But before I can do anything else the dream totally fades and I wake up.

Date: 10 Sept

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian

WBTB: 1/2 cappuccino

Dream quality and recall: very deep sleep, vivid but almost zero recall

TST: 7 hrs

Fragment: I didn't write down, something to do with Malaysia

Early mini-ld (+4 hrs): I am in some crazy deep sleep and see the thought of a boy band, very similar to Take That (maybe a video, or a picture in front of me). The moment I see this vision or whatever about them, with extreme speed one of the singers appears in the room in front of me, he is about 5 foot tall and the whole scene is mega bright and vivid. He is also wearing bright yellow clothes. This happens so fast, it jolts me into lucidity. I ignore him and rush to the balcony but feel the whole dream is very crazy - way too weird and dynamically changing. I can feel some strange and interesting dream stuff about to unwind in front of me as I am contemplating my actions on the balcony. I think it is too much for me to handle, so I wake myself up.

Contemplations: I know this dream isn't that unusual but the feeling of it bothered me. It wasn't a bad, negative one, there was even a touch of euphoria but I felt the dream was like a huge wave of energy about to produce extraordinary or distracting events that I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with. That's what happens when you take valerian and have early lds.

WBTB: coffee (26 mg caffeine) and mantras but zero recall after that