non-lucid

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Other info: My sleep schedule went overboard again. At least we have proven again that bad schedule results in more deep sleep, less dream recall and diminishing LD chances.

Dream recall method: None. I really felt like giving it all up and skipping the DJ today, but forced myself to write those fragments before they were gone.

Dream1: I am watching a show of some kind and am in the audience. Initially this thing was supposed to start late in the evening, but it got postponed so it began at 4.00 am. Towards the end of it, it is 11.00pm the same evening, and I find it a bit strange that it finished earlier than it began. There are a lot of parents with their small kids and they complain that it is getting really late and their kids need to be in bed. So the show is just about to finish. My mom is sitting next to me. Most of the audience at this point consists of black older women. There is a moderator kind of like Oprah. Music starts to play and everybody begins to clap hands church style. I am trying to move my body in the rhythm but something in me doesn’t wanna do it. I can’t do what they expect me to. Next thing, a song from the 60ies begins to play, a song which I knew in the dream very well. Once more, everybody including my mom knows the moves of this song. It is a strange sequence of finger moves around the head and on the face. My mom encourages me to participate, but again I just can’t do it because this time for real I have no idea what the moves are, so I feel a bit stupid.

Fragment2: I am going back in some place where I see an old friend of mine. It looks like he has made a huge mess, there is lots of water and dirt on the floor and he is trying to clean it with a mop. I wonder if I should do something about it but it looks like he is finishing up. I take some cauliflower from the floor and throw it in the trash. I go back to look for my friend, wondering whether I should tell him about LD and what he will think about it.

Fragment3: Another friend of mine. I was wondering if he is really back. Don’t remember much, but I perceived him very vividly, I guess because I couldn’t believe it was him.

Fragment4: I look around and notice that I am in some German looking city. I say to someone that this looks like the same city I went to a concert a while ago. [I had a very long and vivid dream where I went to a concert in a small German city a few months ago. That dream concert was really cool!]. Then I look around and see that perhaps it’s not the same city.

Fragment5: I was reading a post on DV.

Note to self: “I am going to bed on time tonight. I will notice every feeling I have when falling asleep”.

During day: 6xRCs

Total Sleep time: 6+ hrs.

Other info: Went to bed quite late, fell asleep even later.

Dream recall method: DS review

After waking up couldn't remember almost anything, so I went over my DS, checking for a gut/ memory reaction. Got a confirmation with 2 DS. Today I have only fragments

Fragment1: My dad was riding a bike, which later transformed into a skateboard. He was performing some unbelievable stunts.

Drawing a line under water in the same place where other tracks were.

Fragment2: I am in something like student housing, got my own room there. Some guys which I know in the dream leave the room and I lock the door. One of them had to return he forgot something, it is agent Cho from the Mentalist but he looks even prettier. He asks me where the knife is, it is laying on the desk nearby. Some bad guys smoke cigarettes outside, one of them resembles Ross from Friends.

Fragment3: I am having a way too honest conversation with grandma, where I complain a lot and feel like a complete loser. My aunt is lying on a bed, next to grandma, using my blanket, and a pillow I identify as mine. She plays, or just uses as another pillow a toy rabbit which my grandma says is very important to her, so grandma wants it back.

Fragment4: An unpleasant person from my past. I notice her in the midst of a crowd. She is wearing Sari type of clothes, orange color predominantly. She expects to win some kind of award and when that does not happen I see her face convulse with anger.

During day: 5xRCs including DS review

Dream recall technique: none used, remembered 2 dreams

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

After being too lazy or tired in the last few days, I decided it's time to try to WILD again. Set the alarm clock to wake me 5hrs after going to bed, woke up, stayed awake for a few mins (I avoid waking myself too much because I really cannot fall asleep afterwards), then went back to bed, repeating a mantra. I fell asleep.

Dream1: I am in someplace which is my dream home and I am going to bed trying to WILD, blankets all around me, mobile phones, watches showing the time. Then I wake up in the dream, I am in the car with my dad who is driving me somewhere. How strange I think, I really can't remember what I did or where I have been before that. I look at a watch and it's five hours later than when I went to bed in the dream. “It’s like I have lost five hours of my life”, I am thinking to myself.

My parents are cooking dinner in an unknown building in our old neighbourhood. I want to WILD and initially lay my blankets on the roof of a building, trying to relax there. Somehow I am teleported where my parents are and they make a lot of noise so I can't fall asleep. We watch a large part of something, the size of window, fly off and crash on our neighbors’ roof. It is my fault [of course!] because I have forgotten to close the windows so the wind blew that part away. I remember in the dream that I have closed the windows and start telling this to my dad. We go to my parents’ bedroom where the neighbors are also visible and have a look at the windows.

The wind is so strong that I am afraid that everything will start flying off in different directions. I close the windows, but as soon as I do they open again. The frame looks pretty broken. My dad says he will put something on the windows so the windows can't be used again. This saddens me because I won't be able to look at the sunset anymore, so I tell him. I look in the direction of the sunset and a see a larger than usual sun, more yellowish less bright with some details visible. I remember not to stare at it too long because it's bad for the eyes.

A few blocks away I see a huge tornado just starting to form. Oh, no! It's far but it is coming, so I tell my parents we should go somewhere else. Then I start wasting time, trying to grab my blanket, looking around for other stuff. The tornado is getting closer really fast. It has a scary destructive force, I see it passing over and through a row of houses, there are sound and sight of implosions and the houses are completely destroyed. There is very little chance to make it if we stay in the building. Better try to run outside. So I do.

I find myself in another building, facing a boy. I consider this to be a bit strange but go on my way as I see the scary gray mist swirling around. There is an expensive section in this building something like a cafe for special people. Next to it is the exit. I am running from the windows where the tornado is towards the cafe /exit. I rush through the cafe shouting “Get out, now!” to the woman who works there. There are three very strange looking kids that have been left there by their ultra rich parents. I try to take them with me but they don't react, just stare there with blank faces, so I leave them at the table. One of the employees of the cafe tells me that all is safe outside, so I urge her to look around the corner to confirm. She doesn't want to do that. I do it myself. No swirling or tornado coming yet, so I walk a bit, but as I cross the street I see it is getting nearby, a fast moving mist rather than a tornado, so I launch myself forward, jump some fences and continue running...[end]

I woke up after this, since I had no WILD success again I just decided to sleep some more. I forgot any other dreams. It was time to wake up but I pressed the alarm for one more snooze. 9 mins to go. (By the way I thought I could change the snooze settings but can't figure how to do so). I am not attempting to LD, I really don't care at this point.

Dream2 Snooze DILD: I am in a car parked near my parents' current place, my alarm clocks are all around me again. My teacher is trying to reach me on the phone in the dream. I know that I will soon wake up so I don't bother picking up. I am staring at the sky. Is it a spaceship? A strange object is flying around, it looks like a flying truck, how can that be? My awareness is trying to awake. I follow the flight of this truck until it lands in the yard nearby. At that point I know that I am dreaming! An older DC man is in the truck, he reminds me of some unknown famous actor, also looks angry and menacing. He comes to me looking somewhat aggressive. I am really tired of all the chasing around, so I just intend him to be a nice guy, and to my amazement he decides to take it easy. The car where I am begins sliding down the road, but the yard end/road entrance is too narrow for it to pass. I somehow try to size the car down, it becomes very long and thin and I am amazed at this transformation. I stop the car and go to my room in my parents place.

No idea why I decided to go there. Now, in front of me is a gray cloud forming, starting to look scary. I remember the tornado fear, so this is unpleasant. I am still lucid although getting distracted by the cloud, when I remember not to give in. I try to make the cloud go away. In this case, I am stronger so it cannot do anything and just vanishes.

I somehow start unintentionally creating clouds. Those look like real clouds from far away, different hues and shades on the cloud, partly lit by the sun, etc. I also hear the sound of distant thunder coming from the mini vivid cloud in front of me, I really like that. I am having a moment of great enjoyment creating these clouds making them appear from my hands as if they were a ball of cloud, there is also some dark blue light sparkling. I do this quite a few times until I get exhausted and cannot do it anymore. I am still lucid, but am beginning to lose concentration, so I decide to get out of there and go to the street.

I am on the street. A rather unpleasant looking DC decides he will accompany me to wherever I am going. The only task from my list that I remember to do is to summon a certain DC and ask him a pre-determined question. I start calling out for the DC to appear, nothing. I try again, no result. I ask the ugly DC next to me where is the DC I am trying to summon. Of course, he doesn't know. I don't like that, but I nevertheless decide to ask him the question I had in mind. He answers something nonsensical. I try to have a conversation with him, but I find it hard to hear or understand what he says. We probably exchanged no more than a few sentence and I notice in the dream that I start forgetting what he said. [Very strange, I guess there is place for only one two questions at a time]

I wonder how I am still here on the street for what feels like so long and the dream is still here, I am happy about that. I notice two tall guys with black scarves around their heads walking towards us. I notice how out of order this looks and smile to myself, how easy it is to spot inconsistencies while I am lucid now. I try to stop them maybe talk to them, but they insist on continuing on their way, strong momentum so making them stop is really hard. Still no alarm clock interfering, I expect it to ring any moment. I get distracted thinking and then find myself in darkness, feeling my body. My eyes are still closed and I try to DEILD but no success.

I look at my alarm clock, two minutes to the alarm? I jump out of bed trying to hold on to the dream memory, which today feels very evasive as the dreams begin to erase themselves.

Final remarks: Dream control today was really good, tried out the tips to make the chaser a nice guy, which worked in this LD. I also think that reading posts and this tutorial on dream control http://www.dreamviews.com/wiki/Dream-Control-Tutorial helped!

Total sleep time: 9+ hrs

Dream recall technique: dr1 – woke up, noted key words only, went to bed and played the dream 3 times in mind; dr2-dr4 left it entirely to chance if I would recall anything after final wake

Other irrelevant info: was supposed to wake up on time but turned off the alarm, and as I lay in bed I fell asleep, woke up two hours later and had a shorter Saturday. Well, you can’t have it all…

Dream1: I am looking at a building and can see a female politician . I am in some kind of garden where there is sand instead of grass, and cactus-type looking plants. The politician is going somewhere and I hide behind part of the garden construction, observing her. She has a beautiful watch, silver with tiny diamonds. I am thinking about the watch so I zoom in, in my mind. It then becomes a strange looking ring. There is a large gray stone in the middle, and the metal part looks like a twisted wire, like an old handicraft object. I am thinking about how people have treasured rings and precious stones even in ancient times.

I walk to another section of the garden, where I see small insects, like bees or flies, but hey, they are walking bypedally and have colourful armour. Next to them are small toys similar to kinder surprise toys. They are also alive and move. There a 3-4 different types and 4 of each type one next to the other.

Around the garden there is a race track, where Formula 1 cars usually drive. I start throwing small pieces of paper on the track. I later realize that these pieces may interfere with the driving, but it is too late. The cars cannot drive any more, they malfunction and get broken. I begin to worry that the cost of the damages would be really high, these are F1 cars. People would know it is me who did it, because the pieces of paper all have my name written on them. I start to collect them from the track in a plastic bag that I bring with me, and which I leave nearby. My collecting the papers is in vain, because somebody already saw one or two of these and they know. I am looking at a monitor which has information about one of the drivers. All I recall from what I read is that the driver is racing for Renault. I then remember that I left the plastic bag with the papers near the track so I want to go back and take it. I use an elevator to do so. The elevator comes and I press the 4th floor but don’t get in. The doors close, and I think “Damn, now I have to wait again”, but suddenly I find myself in the elevator and am going up.

This turns into some kind of detective series, where I am the party who is at fault, I am also a man. There is a woman with me who is investigating what has happened, and a relative of whoever has suffered from my action. I have no idea what that means, but I have the desire to tell that relative that it is me who is responsible for this and so I tell her. She gets really mad and annoyed with me, and I have to flee to another room to escape her reaction.

At some point in the corridors of that place my grandpa appears. [I haven’t seen him for 15 yrs irl, divorced grandma a long time ago]. I am surprised that I see him, the image becomes quite vivid and on focus. [Maybe it’s a dream?] I just ask him how he is, and how his family is doing.

Dream2: I am going somewhere very far to throw away the garbage. I find myself in a basement like room where there are hats on the couch. I am trying to concentrate on throwing away things and I see in a box containing trash, how many things I have actually cleared out. I look at another box and recognize some books as mine that I don’t want to get rid of. Maybe I will just use the place as a storehouse then, I think to myself.

Initially, I leave the room and want to be on my way, but there is a bum in front of me, and his scary looking dog(DS), like a big hound. He is also out of his mind, he is talking to himself or people that are not there. I try to avoid him. Then I decide that I want to go back to the place, but he is in front of the entrance. The place is now at the corner of a building and there are two entrances. That does not make it easy for me to enter. This is a favourite place for bums who are everywhere and so are their dogs. The dogs try to enter the place and the bums are inside. I finally manage to get in. I notice lots of rucksacks on the floor. My own rucksack feels suddenly very heavy and I open it. Inside of it is another red rucksack. [Crazy, bit just a bit].
As I am leaving the place a bum woman DC starts talking to me and I pretend I am one of them.

I am going home, walking down the street. I pass some place where they sell food so I decide to buy some. The place is like Indian food, but is not Indian at all. Some kind of really exotic stuff I really can’t describe, like green looking pasta, and some stuff that is half-cooked. The DC that works there comes at me, he has dark skin but is not Indian I have no idea where he is from. I ask him what kind of meat that is and stare at one of the products he is selling. He says it’s buffalo.

Dream3: I am in a phone booth and I am looking at an advertisement of Heinz tomato soup. In the ad this guy tells the story of how this soup has changed his life or something of the kind. I look at the name of the guy, it is my friend’s name. [who really loves that soup by the way]. I find the ad very funny. I am in a room and am talking to the friend “So, you took part in the ad, huh?”. He confirms, and then complains that the room smells unpleasantly, and that he can’t sleep there. I am trying to find ways to bring some fresh air in.

Dream4 [Fragment]: I am on the level of the first floor and look down to see two DS casually lying on the ground. The guy has shoulder –length blonde hair and perhaps a leather jacket, and there is a girl lying next to him. They look like they enjoy living like hippies, all relaxed and stuff. Suddenly, my boot slips away from my foot and starts falling. I yell at them to watch out, but it hits the guy. I begin to apologize but he doesn’t seem to mind the boot falling on him at all. Then, wearing socks, I try to step on some kind of metal ladder to come down and get my boot back.

Before sleep: felt like listening to relaxing music when falling asleep but decided to turn it off. Big mistake, was way too awake and my mind decided it was time to torture me with worries about an incoming situation irl. I managed to convince myself I am not interested in its worries tonight, and started day dreaming more pleasant situations instead. 2 hours went by before I felt asleep…

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

Dream recall techniques: tired and lazy tonight, so none

First Regular Dream: No DJ entry. Woke up around 3 hrs after falling asleep, went to toilet and repeated two times the key word which was supposed to unravel the dream. Was really sleepy and did not turn on tablet to write down, which I should have done, because I couldn’t remember anything from this dream when waking up 4 hrs later.

Snooze dreams: I wanted to sleep, felt really tired, but I also wanted to lucid, so I switched between setting the alarm clock for 20 more minutes or just pressing the snooze button.

Snooze dream1: Me and some classmates were in a building, which later feels more like a mall. I remember in the dream that there is a place in the mall, where they sell really attractive cupcakes/brownies, etc. I am interacting with my friends and I dream some toilets as per dream tradition.

Snooze dream2: The building I am in feels like some kind of hospital in space, maybe spaceship. The atmosphere is very dynamic because it is part of the “Aliens” game that I am playing in the dream. This is very similar to previous dreams I had. [I haven’t played “aliens” for years and after so many paranoid dreams I am surely not buying the new one!] The room door in front of me will open any minute, somebody is counting down, and there are lots of aliens waiting to jump on me. Just great! I try running away from them, rushing to a room, closing the door. They are coming! I try to open the window and jump from it. It is very high and I fall, I fail to hold on to any branches of a nearby tree and keep on falling. But I guess, my attention is not programmed to hit the ground, so it happens as if I really managed to grab some branches and am hanging in the air. I feel gravity in a really strange way as I am completely disoriented as to in which direction the ground is. The aliens are probably climbing the building so they will reach me soon.

I wake up putting the alarm for some 20 mins later and think I want to WILD. I feel very sleepy but I try to keep myself awake, staring at the blackness in front of me, keeping the intention to have a lucid. I didn’t notice when I fell asleep.

Snooze dream3 - DILD: The scenario where the aliens are coming continues, but this time I am at my old place, in my room. A transparent guy, I can only see the contours of his body, walks in the room. At first I think he will chase me, but then he turns into a friend from school. I have the urge to kiss him, and well, I do. The paranoia returns and I feel the presence of aliens or whatever is after me behind the room door. There is only one way out now – the balcony. I head for the balcony, and as I cross and have the view of the balcony in front of me, I become aware that I am dreaming. I repeat that I am dreaming in my mind, to be sure that I don’t reintegrate in the dream and lose awareness. Ok, great, but there is this thing that I still feel is coming. Would it stop doing that? I kind of know that I am causing its behaviour with my thoughts, so I try to make it disappear. Does not work. I continue down the balcony, which is really long. I think that if I ignore it, it may not be there, but then I turn my back and there it is. The chaser is now an old rasta man that feels somewhat ominous to me. I mumble that I want him to go away, no effect again. I am reaching the end of the balcony, the corner of the building. I try to think of alternatives of how to deal with the situation. At that very moment the damn alarm clock starts ringing. I am extremely annoyed at this, I really don’t want to wake up now, argh! Perhaps my anger turned to determination not to wake up and I managed to hold the dream and me there as I heard the alarm clock resonating everywhere. No idea how long that was, but it eventually stopped. [I have never attempted to ignore an alarm clock before, neither have I noticed that it stops because I always wake up and turn it off]
Still on the edge of the balcony, thinking what to do, I see the old rasta advancing, and consider the option of jumping off the building. I know that I will be fine, but when I think about down, I don’t turn my head, just think, I see blackness and I am concerned that I will probably lose it, because the scene will change. “Try to think of a scene to land in”, I think but this is way too complicated. I decide to jump anyways. I am standing at the edge of the balcony and the soles of my bare feet are half way through the air. I do not feel stable enough underneath to be able to perform a jump movement and to launch myself. The dream slips away and I wake up.

Comments: Chasers can be really annoying when you LD. I had some tasks in mind but I really can’t do anything when I feel compelled to run away. Is there any reliable and efficient way to get rid those cheeky entities that prevent you from doing other planned LD actions? Fighting them is way too distracting and making them disappear does not always work. Any tips?

Before sleep: no dream yoga white “a” this time, just gently following breath

First dream: about 5 hrs after falling asleep

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Dream recall techniques today: Dr1&Dr2 – played dream 2 times in mind to remember; Dr3-Dr6 – woke up and tried to commit to memory by intending [risky for dream recall but worked today]

WILD attempt: nope, just wanted to watch dream TV

Dream1: Scientists are discussing some chemical which is dangerous to the human health. I am in a dark closed space with a scientist, or is he me? At any rate, the tube that was supposed to hold this chemical in place is getting loose, so the chemical escapes and starts to mix with the air. I know what that means, soon he will die, so nasty side effects begin on his body. While this chemical element is quite dangerous it has wide applications. Actually, it is pretty common on the planet of interest. I am looking at a habitable planet, which I feel is much bigger than Earth. So this planet has potential to be populated by humans, and this chemical can produce huge quantities of energy. I see a small moon, which has water and clouds on the surface. I also see some kind of transparent strings with magnetic pull as the moon moves through space. The habitable planet is a really beautiful place, although there are no humans in it, (or probably because of it the nature is very beautiful. I almost zoom in, to look at the trees. Next thing I know:

Dream2 [Behaving Lucid]: Next thing I know, I am staring at the trees in front of the window of my first home. It is snowing outside. I look outside the balcony and find myself on the street. I walk down the street, which I perceive as if I am lucid. Basically, I feel awake, I know I am watching this, and I am not really there, so I continue the tour of the neighbourhood. I look around as much as possible, and I go back in front of my old place. I have the desire to explore people’s apartments around so I look for an apartment to go to. I think I might explore my old place, but decide against it. I clearly see the whole building and the apartments of neighbours, I ponder whether I should visit my neighbours’s place, but the old woman that lived there died a few years ago irl, so I am afraid I might encounter her inside. I continue looking around. It is an early morning and people are still sleeping, few lights are on. I decide I want to go to a place where the lights are on and find a suitable apartment. I open a window to see if I can go inside. Everything is really solid, and I must enter with my entire body, I realize I cannot squeeze in, or imagine myself there. I wonder how to get in, but I start to feel my bladder getting really full and I cannot concentrate anymore, so I just wake up.

Lucid or not lucid? I decide to classify this as a non-lucid, because I lack the official initial realization of aha, I am dreaming. However, my behaviour is exactly what I would do if I were lucid, explore around and try to hold the dream. Another notable feature of this dream is that it was free of any DCs, what I really like in some LDs.

Woke up after the dream rather happy, re-lived the whole thing two times, no notes this time. Had some trouble falling asleep , but was too lazy to try to WILD.

Dream3: I am in the suburbs, noticing the houses and remembering how the DCs there had some trouble there some dream time ago. Suddenly, there is a loud noise, energy, burning sensation as something passes by and explodes in the sky. I decide it is a meteorite. I have mild burns/scars on my body. I go to a house and find a politician there. I tell him about the meteorite and look at my hands (!that was close), purple scars are still there. It’s nothing too serious or unpleasant looking though. At this point the politician turns into Santa, he even has a beard! There is elation in the air and I throw fake snow above our heads which I really enjoy doing. He even gives me a present, a tea set, which has some flowers instead of tea to be drank. I happily play with it.

Dream4: Almost like a continuation from dream3, as I am sitting, exploring the tea set, the scene around me changes. We are waiting to select a menu. There are some snobbish older women around and my mom as well as this happens. So, there is some kind of event tomorrow, and every guest can pre-select what exquisite meal he/she likes, and I am waiting my turn to do so. Before I do that the older women also select spa procedures, going for a special moisture mask. I don’t want to do it, so my mom starts giving me advice, selecting for me. This annoys me and I behave in a way that is inappropriate in front of these high individuals (I was just being annoyed and rude, nothing much really). This disappoints my father who then enters one of his special disapproval moods. We go back home (unknown one) with my parents where the story continues.

Dream5: As I am thinking how to prepare for the event, I would bring my own shampoo, do my hair, and not use the spa offered to the other special guests, a friend of mine appears in the house. I decide to tell him some secrets about dreaming? or meditation, which I don’t recall at all, and tell him not to tell my bf I told him this.

Dream6: Still in the house, I face my mom and tell her I don’t like her selecting things for me, there is tension in the air. I want to call my bf to complain. As I am calling, I find myself on the streets of some western looking city. As I talk on the phone a famous artist passes by. I can’t believe it, it’s “A”. The name of the artist is “A”, which people around her repeat like “eah”. This is really funny, they sing it, introducing her. I take my camera and take pics of her. I then call my bf and tell him that I saw her, watching the video record. A second of doubt there, a famous person, maybe a dream, but that can’t be there really is an artist “A” [Oh, come on!]

Dream7 [snooze]: I watch something like age of empires/civilization game, my people being the blue ones, and the opponent is red. Time moves really fast and I see how my guys and buildings become fewer. As I look around, I see that the opponent has the whole map, and has entered modern era, there is no chance for me to win. [Boring stuff, I know]. What really happens is that I zoom out and the modern era is really a real world street and there are some military trucks, and just trucks. I am sure the enemy notices me and that is the end, so I just tease him to act and push those trucks on me and get it over with. He finally does so, and to my content, I feel the heavy pressure of trucks on top of me, and wake up.

Final notes: When I was younger, I had the impression that a lot of my dreams would just flow one after the other, with some weak connection in the storyline (like above). Nowadays, my dreams are usually separate scenarios. Perhaps my desire to remember each after shortly awakening resulted in DEI N LD?

Despite my increased motivation to LD, the recent two weeks have not delivered to my perhaps unrealistic expectations, so I decided it’s time to analyze what has been happening.

Negatives:
- Sleep schedule disruptions: unfortunately guest stay-over during the weekends (on bf’s initiative) means having exhilarating conversations up to 2 am, then listening to bed preparations, and I fall asleep at 4-5 am. Obviously, this makes it harder to wake up early, and go to bed early, and this is spiralling into the week.
- Increased sugar intake: I have been very tired last couple of days, mostly like because of the above reasons, but I’m thinking that eating some ultra sweet desserts before bed in the last few evenings has contributed to this. Don’t usually consume that much sugar and this dehydrates and exhausts me.
- Reduced physical activity: have not touched dumbbells/jogging, etc., really don’t feel like moving at all! I probably should go back to exercising, this does help my sleep and improves my mood. Just do it!

Positives:
-RCs: after registering at DV, I have been doing a nice amount of RCs, including starting the day with a RC
-DJ: I keep the tablet near my bed, so it’s pretty fast & easy to jot down any dreams
-Sleep recall: I have been writing down dreams every day, even if it’s just fragments, and that helps me remember more
-Just let it be: I try to have a positive attitude, perhaps my body is tired and needs more sleep, so I just let myself recharge, confident that things will eventually align
-Dream Yoga: as mentioned before I was conducting the experiment, having to fall asleep, while concentrating on a white letter ”a” on the area below navel for seven days in a row. That helps me fall asleep faster, plus usually helps with LDs, so I think I will try to incorporate it into my every night routine.

19 March Dream Fragments

As mentioned, was really exhausted last few days, so I slept like a log, didn’t even wake up to go to toilet.  After waking up still tired as hell, I couldn’t remember anything. I was beginning to get rather pissed off, but did a RC anyways. I also repeated my DS – there are lots them. If not anything else, I catch the feeling that I dreamt 3 DS, I sit on the sofa and try to concentrate (got interrupted by a phone call and conversation in the process).

Dream1 [Fragment]: I am at my grandma’s apartment(DS). She is also there and plans on going to the city center with the tram. I tell her that she will be really uncomfortable in the tram, taking into consideration the way she is dressed. She wears a green sweater, similar to one I had but never wore in the past, and she has a semi-transparent red-orange blouse from a lighter material over the sweater, so basically these are reverse and I tell her that she needs to change, so that she is more flexible in the public transportation. [there was more I can’t remember]

Dream2: I am in my first school (DS) and a schoolmate (DS) from there tells me he wants to find our teacher from second grade. We go into one of the classrooms (I am always amazed IRL at how accurately I remember my schools in dreams!), looking for our teacher. She is behind the teacher desk, her hair has greyed, she behaves like a puppet. I tell her that my schoolmate was looking for her and wants to send his regards to her. While I am saying this, she behaves like a robot, doesn’t even look at me, but continues writing down on some document, which she signs, and perhaps tries to pass to me. We leave the room and I continue in the corridor, towards the school gym. In the corridor are two girls from my high school (DS). They are happy to see each other, talking to each other. I remember during the dream that they are good friends. I continue towards the gym and see some more girls from high school. A narrator’s voice is telling me something about the two girls, how the mood of the one was actually influencing the behaviour of the other all the time, or something like this.

Dream 3 [DS recall only] – I am sure that I dreamt the guy from high school, that I called main DC in the previous DJ post…

Experiment night 3/7
Experiment: falling asleep while imagining a white letter “a” on area below navel (from dream yoga book). Usual effects for me – increased dream vividness and a greater chance of LD

This evening: somewhat hard to concentrate on the white “a”, some trouble falling asleep after a rather heavy meal. Nevertheless, the first dream was quite strong and detailed, perhaps about 5 hrs after sleep onset.

Dream 1: I was in what looked similar to my grandmother’s building, and it turns out this very important for me irl person, a main DC now lives. I am going up and down the stairs, in the hope that I will finally meet him along the way, but he is not there. I leave the building, standing on the stairs that lead outside, looking at a person that is walking down the street. At first I don’t recognize him, he is wearing a white hat or strange blouse, but then I finally see that it is the DCs I was waiting for. As if this were a real life situation, I try to hide my excitement of seeing him (haven’t seen him for 12 years irl) my eyes shyly looking to my left, then allowing myself to smile and going to greet him. He is being polite, greets me, and says that he hasn’t seen me for a year. “Well, it’s because I don’t live here anymore”, I reply. He makes some remarks about different countries which make no sense at all, I correct him with my knowledge, which by the way is also wrong. Then, the conversation seems to be over for him and he likes to continue on his way. “Wait, why don’t you tell me what you have been up to these days”? I really don’t wanna let him go. I pat him on the cheek the way I do with my bf. That is really strange and embarrasses me, I begin to apologise myself, and then, I do it again! I tell him that I pat my bf the same way, he reacts in some strange way, and his face starts to distort and now he has some facial features similar to my bf. I am quite worried about what he thinks about me in this dream and apologize for my weirdness again and try to change the subject. [end]

8:30 Our neighbours wake me up. I write down this dream and I decide I will try to WILD at 8:50. First WILD attempt ever. Initially, I was too alert, a lot of thoughts in my head, then I finally manage to relax with some nice thoughts. I wake up at 10:35 - WILD fail. I remember a dream but decide against writing it down because that will wake me up too much. I try DEILD. DEILD fail. I continue sleeping. BF is already up, walking around.

12:30 – I finally wake up, disappointed, and I have no recall of any dreams whatsoever. I isolate myself with my notes and want to remember. Nothing. Did I dream about a school? Yes! Finally, some fragments begin to emerge:

Dream2: This was the one immediately after the WILD attempt. It was the first day of school for the year and I am in my high school (DS). My mom is with me and I don’t like that. I try to send her away, telling her that I am going to class. She leaves the building. I have other plans too and leave the building, looking for someone familiar outside. There are fewer people than I expect. Some guys are playing, throwing a tennis ball that lands in my hands, I awkwardly toss it back, having trouble controlling my movement, it goes in the wrong direction, but they manage to catch it. I wake and know that I have failed the WILD.

Dream3: [Fragment]After watching some factories, I hear my friend DC from school (DS) tell me some arguments about China. He says that they had a country only for 80 years or something like that. He was discussing the development. I told him that he is wrong, and there had been China, for some 5000 years, though not in its present form. Tribes and clans that have come together and apart over time. I tell him that some 3000 years BC the Chinese were already highly advanced, and I refer to a pottery that exists irl (I saw on wiki December 2011), that he can check online if he doesn’t believe me. I feel guilty for arguing with such a fervor with him…

Dream4: There is some kind of international festival, where young girls wear national traditional dresses. I am looking around, and become part of an “active audience”, which is part of the set. There is a cupboard with some objects that faces the stage, rather than the audience. This is where I stand. I start messing with the objects that are placed on the cupboard. There is a miniature watch, which literally falls apart in my hands. I try to fix it, but small parts keep falling to places that I can’t even reach. I try making the watch or whatever it is stay in one place, then I hide it somewhere at the back. I look at the objects on the cupboard, I made such a mess there, I feel embarrassed, hoping that no one will notice and that this does not influence the play in any negative way. A DC woman with authority comes and looks at the mess. She doesn’t notice anything out of order and I feel relieved. She is more concerned with finding some suspicious individuals, a renaissance picture and a news article is presented to me. It tells briefly the story of three pirates, a man and two women, one of them, I identify as myself. The DC woman tells me that these are dangerous and it is possible that they are around. I become worried that she might discover my true identity, but luckily she doesn’t. The performance is about to begin. Now it is more like a theatre act than a dancing performance. I make remarks that it isn’t the plot? that people are here to follow, but rather the performance and play of actors. That’s what it is all about.

Dream5: I was talking to a DC real estate agent. He looked at the nearby river and found it really disgusting. He said that he would never live near a place like that. I agreed with him and told him that I felt sick from the river. I would rather live somewhere high up the mountains. I looked and there was a green-yellow hill with some houses on it. Some misty clouds were over the hill. I would rather live there, I thought. Then I fly/zoom over the hill, looking for a place where we could move to. I reach some kind of city suburbs, with strange buildings, not industrial, but rather they look like some past communist memorials. I remember in the dream that this was exactly the path of the processions from the day before that I saw on dream TV. (fake memory?) In front of the memorial are some Czech enthusiastic young people, they are members of a youth communist organization and seem to be celebrating. I try communicating with them in an eastern European language that I make up at the moment, something like eastern European Esperanto. [end] The movie that my bf is watching in the other room is getting too loud and I finally wake up.

Mood after Dr1 Wake: Sad
Mood after final wake: A bit irritated with myself as no LD, and initially no memory of dreams

Dream1: I was strolling in this large park, the plan of which was similar the one I went to when I was a child. I can remember that I do go back to this park quite a lot in my dreams, though I can’t seem to find any entries about it in my DJs. I enjoy the scenery in the park, it feels as if summer is just turning into autumn, with some of the leaves already looking rusty. I see this pond and there are some frogs around at the edges. I know in the dream that these frogs are dying out and will soon become extinct, there will be no more frogs there. That makes me feel sad. I think I fly over the pond, because I cross it without stepping on the water, or maybe I just zoom in, looking at frogs of various sizes. I decide then to move on, moving along the edges of the pond. Now, I seem to struggle a bit because there are some rocks that are hard to climb, or maybe steps, these seem man-made and of concrete. I look and to my left side there is something like a concrete cage where there are supposed to be some pigeons. This is starting to look more like a zoo, but just the section where a particular animal is kept. And right there is the animal – a tiger. He is being held by something like a strap, I cannot see it, because I see only part of the tiger outside, his head and neck. There is something purposely put on his eyes so he cannot see me. All I want to do is cross and move over to wherever it is that I am going, but this tiger is here. He can hear and smell me, and is on the verge of jumping on me. While naturally disturbed, this is nothing like the paranoia of the previous night. Yet, I am cautious, trying to get out of there as fast as possible. After I looked away from the tiger the surroundings incorporated some housing blocks, yet there still were elements of a zoo present. I started climbing upwards on a fence, which was supposed to protect people from the animals, as it had electricity running through it. Didn’t feel anything of the sort. Around me, quite close were at least 2 lions casually lying on their sides. I managed to reach the top of building and someone threw my hat back down where the lions were. Now, I had to go down and get it back, which I did, because it was separated by some kind of plastic, so it was actually above the lions. (Animals are supposed to be a DS for me, but it hasn’t filtered through my subcon yet)

Dream 2: After watching a demo of Simcity5 a few days ago, my brain seems to have remembered the shape in which the guy in YouTube built his roads. In my dreams the shape was actually a modern railroad that I watched as if it were a map of China, yet real one, so this railroad connected the southern part of China with Beijing. I have never been to Beijing, and in my dream I was not planning on going there. But there was the possibility to have a peek through the railroad, and that’s what I was doing. So, travelling over the country, I was now facing Beijing. Think there was a sign in English. Initially, it looked really beautiful, around this building was the Chinese countryside, greenery all around, and the air was rather pleasant. Then I focused on Beijing, it was a yellow administrative building, that didn’t make much sense. I wanted to take some pictures, but this Chinese woman with her 20 something daughter already took 8 pictures, they were standing in front of Beijing. I told her that she has taken enough pics, and to go away because I hadn’t taken any pics yet. Then I went back to the subway, which was quite unpleasant. There was very little space inside, it was really tight more like a mining tunnel than a subway. There were also lots of people. This Chinese guy kept on following me, trying to convince me to taste some kind of dry round piece of food, which I did not want to consume. I was getting claustrophobic with the little space, too many stairs to walk, and the crowds everywhere. I think it was my alarm clock that put an end to this.

Mood after final waking: Pleasant, relaxed, satisfied.

After going to bed late and waking up quite late during the weekend, I decided to restart my biological clock, taking melatonin supplement (3mg also has a small amount of B6). It turned out to be quite a vivid night and morning after, some brief LD including.

Dream1: So, I in my dream me and some other DC were running away as fast as we could from this other person, DC, that morphed into a guy from my uni. We were running inside a building but then we reached a dead end, there was no door to go through, so we just had to go back. There the DC chaser was standing blocking something that looked like a sliding door from my wardrobe years ago. After finding a card on which some numbers appeared, I assumed these numbers were pointing to some kind of exit. I entered into a room which initially was a toilet (subconscious giving me signs again), with numbers above the different sections. A guy came in and I let him have his privacy. It turned out that the number was hanging above one of the toilet seats. How am I supposed to run away passing through it? (Though I’ve done so one or two times). At this time, the room transforms completely, and there is a bed where the toilets used to be. I feel that the chaser is coming as I try to close the door to the room. The other guy that was doing his job in the toilet starts to act creepy and roars, which really has a terrifying effect on me. Then, I remember that I should have more confidence when I am chased, so I try to overcome my fear and send a ripple of “go-away” intention. Though it was a very weak ripple, it seems to have worked, because both nasty characters suddenly disappear. I try to barricade myself in the room by putting some chairs against the door. I continue to have the feeling that he is coming. Then I manage to awaken from this unpleasant dream.

Dream2: I was walking down a western-looking city, which in my mind was Cologne. As I was pondering how much the place has changed, I ran into an old friend from school. We happily greeted each other, and then I continued on my way. I was going down the street, looking at some street stalls, where they were selling really beautiful and strange looking scarves. I wanted to buy one, and it was quite cheap, some cost 7, some cost 8, written as large numbers in front of them. I continued walking, the street seemed to be elevated, and it became darker towards the end, I guess I continued walking till I had entered a building at the end of the street. I was inside a home, when I realized I was dreaming. I just looked around what seemed to be magnificent furniture in Asian style. I tried holding the view of items around me, but when I moved to the next room, some dream entity was trying to interact with me, with a touch of aggression, distracting me and I soon sank into unconscious dreaming.

Dream3: I was sitting on a table with a number of women (40-50 yrs of age maybe), discussing the part that I was being chased, and how I tried to get rid of the my chasers , and why it partially worked. I was amazed how we were all sitting there, in my mind those were not mere DCs but rather inorganic being projections and I told them I marvelled that. The woman in front of me said that she was not actually inorganic but a type of tree. I knew I saw her as a person because I filtered everything through the human form. I asked her “So you come here when you are sleeping”. I can’t remember if got a reply from her. Then the paranoia of the night came back and we had to leave because I had the feeling that somebody might be coming. Thankfully, nobody was. The scene moved into another dream where we, don’t know who that we is anymore, went to this Chinese museum. We paid but I wasn’t really sure if we will have the time to see all that was there. In the museum everything was accessible, there were a lot of Buddha figures, small ones, golden, or covered in some shiny paint, also some ancient objects, which the women of the time used to put their make up in, as if they were shells, really beautiful things.


Mood after initial wake: fear
Mood after final wake: uplifted, happy