side notes

I had little time to sleep this night and I made it worse by getting overexcited about TOTM so I couldn’t fall asleep. Managed to have a mini-WILD when doing WBTB; instead of turning the alarm clock off as planned for today, I had on this occasion unintentionally pressed the snooze button, which interrupted me while trying to DEILD back.

Fragment1: OK, I wrote three key words in my notepad and made some drawing. I can’t read what I have written! One thing I do remember reminding myself during the restroom visit was that some parts of TOTM were there. But it wasn’t lucid, that’s for sure.

Dream2: I am kind of in front of grandma’s place, but not exactly. I’m watching some kids playing, they are very young and I wonder how their parents could have left them alone there. They are climbing a tree, two of them fall, start to cry. I go there to see what I can do. I get worried that parents will arrive and think I have done something to the kids. I see a pinkish flash of lightening and hear the thunder. I decide to get in the building. I was expecting to see some dog on the stairs, and there were four. One unidentified breed, one Dalmatian, two white terriers. The terriers were absolutely friendly and happy, jumping on their owner. I thought again how emotional dogs can be.

Dream3: I am back to some woman with whom I talked some dream fragments ago. This time I am with my boyfriend and we are looking at some items she is selling. My boyfriend selects a metal monopoly type of toy with Lincoln and a cylinder hat. I tell the woman that was exactly the piece she recommended a while ago. She gets very worried, it seems that her gift is working again, she has some psychic powers obviously and doesn’t want people to know. I think of telling her to just ignore people if they come with unreasonable requests, but she doesn’t want to listen.

Fragment4: Made some kind of cake, the size of a large baking tray, and I remember eating almost all of it. Left only one piece of it for my mom.

Fragment5: In a bus, the inspector comes to check our tickets, I tell her that I will not show her mine, because I can’t hold my poo anymore? I nevertheless decide to show her the ticket.

WBTB alarm. I try to shake myself more awake, restroom [did not poo!], back to bed, concentrating on mantra. This time it was the perfect combo of sleepiness and mantra. I fell asleep, and transitioned in the dream.

Dream6 [mini WILD]: A short moment of darkness, then I find myself staring at my hands. I am a bit surprised at myself, but anyways satisfied to have made it. I am in our old neighbourhood all by myself, so no distractions, I am also calm. I concentrate on holding the dream, as I usually do in my DILDs. I may have mumbled a few things, for I remember some vibrations resonating in the air? I feel that the dream is slipping away, so I try chanting Om to stabilize it [I was in the middle of the street nothing nearby]. I notice the sound resonating better this time, but it doesn’t help the dream. One moment I feel my dream body, and then this is happening with a tremendous speed, I cannot feel it anymore and find myself floating in the void. No! I try desperately to hold on to something with my mind, and DEILD back. At that very moment the snooze alarm sounds and wakes me up. What? I didn’t put snooze this time. I must have hit the wrong button 9 mins ago. [snooze usually works great with DILDs for me; also almost in most DILDs snooze or regular ones, I don’t get driven out of the dream so fast, so I take it is the WILD to blame? Will monitor this in the future]

After that, I make sure I turn off the snooze and set for 30 mins later- final wake. I go back to sleep almost immediately, some dreams may have started I don’t remember. I wake 10 mins later rather stressed that the sleep time will be over soon and I won’t be able to lucid. Then I remember I just had a lucid and become angry at the alarm clock. I can’t fall asleep anymore and there is no point either so I go to DJ.

Total Sleep time: 8+hrs

Dream recall method: Dr1- noted sentences; Dr2-Dr7 – none

Other: I was feeling very sleepy and tired; there are some gaps in my memory, some fragments re-emerged later.

After HI and falling asleep: I noticed something after briefly waking in the first hours of sleep; now all I am left with is the vague memory; was it dream talking again?

Dream1: We are waiting for the tram, most of my DC friends are dressed officially, but I wear some casual clothes. I am slightly worried about that, but they say “I wish I had your attitude towards life”, “Yeah, but sometimes I feel afraid from all those things I know”, I reply. [I wish I knew what I know, but perhaps it’s better I don’t]

Fragment2: I see the beach, initially I want to go for a swim, but the waves are quite big so I decide against it. My mom is also there.

Fragment3: Looking for a place to hide from two DC women. This is some kind of back stage for something like a theatre, I hope they won’t be looking for me there.

Fragment4: Some posts on DV.

Fragment5: We ran out of toilet paper.



I try WBTB. This time I tell myself, I would be less sleepy and more concentrated. I spend some time in bed awake, concentrating on my body and some sounds from the neighbors, then I quickly transition into the dream.

Dream6[Low Quality Lucid]: I find myself in a familiar room, something like my boyfriend is also there. I know that I am dreaming and I do not bother to RC. I am absolutely passive, just being in the room, I feel as if I am drunk, so heavy. I am sitting on a chair doing absolutely nothing, noticing my behaviour and somewhat annoyed of this but also so tired. This DC is sitting next to me. I take some time to examine him, he looks a lot like my boyfriend, yet I know that’s not him. I find him rather unpleasant. Everything is so stable, and I feel as if I have been sitting there forever, exchanging some random thoughts with this fake bf. I tell him that this is a dream, and he repeats a few times “lucid dreaming”, that’s the only thing that amuses me. I don’t like being there at all…

Dream7, DEILD: I awake for a short while, rather unconscious, open my eyes, rollover and then I enter the dream again. I am thinking “Oh, I DEILDed”, but I really did not mean to do that. I find it strange that I am still there. I feel so tired. I finally remember that what I want to do is change the scene, just imagine a scene, I remind myself. Nope, does not work. Then I see some kind of a poster with some beach and palms and try to concentrate on it… The dream does not fade...memory gap, I think I fall into unconsciousness again...



Dream8: I am with my parents, in some a tourist village near the sea. I want to buy something, so we are looking for the right store. Then I check what money I have with me, I have stamps, which are some kind of certificate serving as money? By the time we get to the store, all the shops are closed. I don’t care that much, but my parents are disappointed that I couldn’t buy anything.

Before bed: I was trying to re-program my dream body, for 5-10 mins I imagined sending energy and setting the intent for my dream body to become aware when it had the upper hand (i.e. when I was dreaming)

Result: I am not sure if it was because of this, it actually took me quite a long time to fall asleep, because every time I would drift off, my body would react, for ex. my leg would twitch (I think this is a hypnic jerk?), so I would awaken. Or just as the HI dreamlets began to form, I would realize it and wake up, then go to the restroom, then I would awaken too much. Perhaps my intending was working, but I probably should have used this suggestion technique in WBTB and not when falling asleep initially.

Dream1: Two of my best school friends were playing a kind of game, where each would listen to a song, then share some secret thoughts they had. In the dream I know there are maybe 11 or 12 songs, I remember a certain song, but it does not belong to this album. I cannot remember the last two songs, so my friend goes online to find out which those songs are.

Dream2: Politics again. I see the mayor having an affair with some popular all-night-long party woman, there is also a video of this. I contemplate a lot whether to tell my mom, who supports the mayor, about this whole story. I finally decide to invite her over and show her the video, which shows the two kissing. My mom does not believe any of it and still strongly supports the mayor. What is more, it turns out that she has managed to book a seat and take part in some kind of conference with her favourite politicians.

Dream3: I am looking at photo of one of my favourite teachers, then a former classmate appears next to me, she tells me something. On my other side another classmate2 (DS) appears. Now, I am looking at some jewellery made from semi-precious stones. As I am looking at the jewellery, classmate2 tells me that some kind of pink type of stone is the best.[not sure if such a stone exists IRL], it looks like a mix between rose quartz and jasper. She then tells me that she has some kind of dagger/wand made from that stone and some more info about it.



At that moment I remember that we already have had this conversation in a dream, and I tell her that I had a dream about that. She then replies me that she remembers the dream too. Wow! I go out on the street and begin to tell the story to myself, as if I just awoke and will be writing this in my dream journal. Instead, I begin writing this story on the pavement…

Obviously someone I do not want to meet will soon arrive there, and my friend recommends that I leave the place now. I try to stop a taxi, but it is not a taxi actually, some white old Mercedes with some people and lots of junk in it. I jump on it, trying to use it as a ride to the next station. I get off and fly past some Chinese fast food stall and pick up some chicken skewers, they fly away without paying.



I reach our first home, I am on the street. I look and see my mom there, I don’t want her to know that I am here, so I hide behind a tree. I am waiting but it starts to rain and my tablet is wet, but it is water resistant, and this is a dream so that’s why nothing happens to it. [Really!] I put it in my backpack.

Fragment4: It was during the night and we were in some pub like place. It was 2:30 am and all the shops closed, but the pub was still open. We are outside, I look back at this actually unpleasant place and say to my friends from school “Even though this is a terrible place and we do ourselves so much harm here, I actually love it!”….

Total sleep time: 6+hrs

Dream recall method: key words;

Other: Weekends can be so loud, tried WBTB but woke up bf instead and he began walking around. To make it worse neighbours contributed with lots of noise, waking me abruptly, my last dream memory was completely erased.

HH: the melody of my toy when I was very young

Dream1: I was talking to a friend of my mom and her son. We then together dye eggs. I am supposed to help them, but I do it wrong. They tell me you have to put the eggs in boiling oil otherwise the paint won’t hold. What? Her son, who is about my age, comes to me and starts caressing my shoulder or something like that. I am not very at ease with this, although the feeling is nice. This is a somewhat awkward moment, I don’t look at him but instead try to think of a question to ask him to stop him from being so close to me, and his mom is watching this. This feels weird.

Dream2: was in deep sleep (3:00-3:30 hrs after falling asleep); some very enjoyable dream, but have no memory at all; just a feeling of happy elation

Dream3: Out of the darkness, I see some kind of music clip that begins to play, the sound is everywhere. It is a very pleasant music, relaxing, resonating everywhere. The video is very appealing to me as well, some wise Indian men in their city, their daily life, the camera travels in the city. I like it a lot, watching the video and listening to this nice music.

Then, I become part of the video and it is a tour of Honk Kong now, I see the skyscrapers. I am in some kind of bus and the inspector comes for my ticket. I start looking for it, but it is not in my pocket. While I do that some things of mine fall on the floor, the inspector picks them up. I finally find some kind of ticket and show him, he smiles and goes on his way.



[This is the closest style to the music I heard, the melody was different]

Fragment3: My dad was angry about something…My parents are there, I tell them I want to buy two plates for myself, very beautiful ones, but as I point them out the plates change shape and become bowls…My parents say no…I am disappointed.

During day: (RCs + DS)x10

Total Sleep Time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: D1-D4 – keywords in notepad; tried to recall D3-D4 somewhat when going back to bed; D5 –straight to tablet after final wake

Dream1: I am back to our first home and live with my parents again. It is late night and I just came back from somewhere. A former classmate has organized a meeting at 12:10 (evening), so I want to go there. I tell my mom that I am going out, although I know she won’t let me. She doesn’t say anything and I take this opportunity to leave as fast as possible. But instead of that, I start preparing to go out and it takes me a very long time, I go to the restroom two times, and it’s 12:50 already. I finally leave and hope that my friends are still there. They are meeting in some kind of a bar where they serve sea food. I head in the direction of the place and try to call the organizer of the event.

Dream2: I am in our first home again, this time in my room. It is dark outside, a few lights are on. I am in the bed with Cal Lightman. He looks terrific, there is not a single wrinkle on his face, a perfect radiant complexion. I feel attracted to him. Since the light is on, the neighbours can actually see me, so I go to the window to block the view of whatever may take place in my room. I can see that there is someone in the nearby building that may actually be watching, so I try to adjust the curtains. That’s not easy at all because the curtain is constantly changing and does not cover the entire window. Once I am satisfied with the result I go back to the bed to Cal, but he is not there anymore. I see an inflatable boat on the floor. It starts to self-inflate and I try to hold it back from expanding in the whole room.



Fragment3: I am in some kind of disco bar most likely with my boyfriend and some unknown DC friends. I start mixing the drinks. I order twice an “amaretto” drink which is more like an alcoholic chocolate mousse. I pay in banknotes that I lay on the table: 20, 10, 10. I have left 2x10 for me, which should be enough to cover another round.

Dream4: In some house with my bf. My mom is there as well. The agreement was that I can sleep over in my bf’s place, but instead I change my mind and decide to spend the night at my parents’ place. My bf is somewhat disappointed but I tell him I will come by in the next few days.

I am in a large building that has been made to accommodate a museum. I am wondering which floor to go to. I see a large painting on the wall and the signature of the artist or some kind of title. I read it out loud. My mom corrects me and pronounces it with two different accents “Exhibition of the composiccion”??? [end]

The alarm wakes me up, 1 hour before my final desired wake time. I visit the restroom, note key words, and have an average desire to lucid. I go back to bed, trying to review the last dream but I fall asleep.

Dream5 [DILD, ToTM]: I am in my old place and am looking through the window. I see some guys carrying a strangely shaped case, I am almost sure that there is some kind of weapon in there. I look back to inside of the room and suddenly become lucid. My bf is sitting on the bed behind me, but I pay no attention to him. I feel a bit as if everything is submerged in invisible water. I look to what is in front of me and a small dog appears in the room. It looks like pug breed type and it moves around really fast. I find it hard to follow it with my gaze. It transforms and is now another kind of puppy with brownish fur. I remember I should try to interact with the dream, grab something, so I grab the puppy and caress it a bit. Then I remember that I have to eat something for ToTM. [IRL I thought it would be easier to lick something, but completely forgot it in the dream] I look at the puppy, which is quickly transformed into some strange kind of meat left-over, and I wonder if I should eat the puppy? No way I eat that puppy, or whatever it is now! I get slightly distracted as next to the ex-puppy leftover is some wool thread and I have a strong desire to thought-lift and make it twirl around. I focus my eyes on it and try to move it, but I feel some resistance. I manage to move it a bit but not the way I wanted, I give up.

Still with the eating ToTM in mind, I look frantically around, I need to find something to eat and think of going in the kitchen to look for something. At that point I turn around and I see my bf eating bread. I think, bread ? Too plain, but whatever! He holds the very last piece in his hand. I tell him not to eat it. He mouth-feeds me the piece of soft white bread and I chew it slowly. It tastes like bread. I become very suspicious because of the intensity of the flavour and start thinking that while I am dreaming, my real boyfriend could really be feeding me with some bread and laughing at me. I ask my dream boyfriend if that is the case, but he denies.



Since I am still not awake I decide to do the only other thing I remember – try chanting Om. I go into another room, this is a completely different place now. I am by myself here, there is something wooden and green maybe the window frames, 2 lamps hang as low as my chest. I try to chant omm, but some shriek-like sound comes instead. I feel like this is not going to work. I hear another sound and then see the door to the apartment moving by itself and banging as if moved by the wind. Perhaps I should close it? But then my expectations start to build and I know something or someone is behind the door. Some DC quickly enters through the door, initially the shape of my bf, but it is not him. I don’t want to have another chase ruin the LD, so I try not to pay too much attention to him. At that moment 5-6 DCs enter, behaving a bit menacing they are walking towards me. I try to change my expectations and their reactions. They kind of slow down a bit and are somewhat more manageable so I am pretty happy with that.

I walk out of the apartment, through the door and find myself into something like mall or maybe inside a big store. I see a section where they sell semi-precious stones, some one-piece bracelets made of stone, like jade. I really like what I am seeing. I am starting to lose control over my own actions, perhaps being too happy with the dream. The DCs are following me now as I make a few steps while staring at the precious stones section. My subconscious turns on the music and I start singing a song cabaret style “Lucidity, the dream is fixed, lucidity” and joyfully march a few more steps. [end]

The dream collapses and I find myself in darkness, closed eyelids. I remain still and try to DEILD but can’t reconnect. I begin to feel sleepy so I decide to wake up before I forget everything. The dream memory feels more evasive that usual and I barely manage to hold on to it.

Final notes:I am confirming the best time for my DILDs so far is the last hour before final wake (with 7-8hrs sleep). Today I allowed myself an hour sleep to possibly LD instead of my somewhat successful snooze DILD experiments.

Another thing I find important to note is stabilization. My DILDs last long enough and there is really no need for me to rush like a crazy monkey, compromising dream stability and later recall. Next time: take it slow!

Before bed: exhausting cooking and late staying guests

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: two keywords noted

Fragment1: I was in a building in one of the rooms there was an improvised fitness center. I was considering whether to enroll but it was somewhat expensive, 11 per session. I think I agreed to give it a try and started doing some exercises. I really enjoyed moving around.

Fragment2[important feeling] Somewhere on the way between grandma's place and our old home. I am looking at the the cars passing by. Next to me is my dad, who has a strangely honest moment. He is sharing the contents of his heart, his innermost dreams. He tells me that he craves to one day get to an astonishing knowledge, this knowledge would be completely true and valid, yet so totally different from anything we know, unimaginable knowledge. I compare it then to the knowledge a more advanced civilization would give us.

woke up, decided to try some WBTB, but was asleep too fast, had two pretty vivid dreams though, one very close to lucid

Dream3 [very vivid]: I was at my parents's yard, it was dark. My mom was there, a large white rabbit came to us. We were trying to interact with it, but it was a bit stubborn, reminded me of a rabbit I had for a while when I was very young. My mom was forcefully grabbing it, surely causing it some pain, and it ran away. I felt bad for the rabbit and tried to call it back. It came back to me, and kind of like pressed itself strongly against me, seeking comfort.

Dream4[very vivid, lucid-like]: I just remember finding myself staring at some kind of a yard, where there was a workshop. It felt as if I am lucid, and I had a moment of deep realization of something, I just suddenly understood it, everything (regarding something) made perfect sense to me. As I was watching the yard, I remembered my great grandpa's wood processing workshop, remembering some past memories that belong to me with great clarity and understanding. I noticed the little pieces of saw dust on the table of the workshop. [those memories felt very real, more than usual fake dream memories, yet my great grandpa had been a tailor, never met him]

Fragment5: I was in a bus with my grandma2, she got off the bus, but left her bag and eye glasses on the seat. I rushed to gather all her things before the driver closes the door. I told him to wait for me to get off but he said he can't wait, I grabbed everything and jump rushed out of the bus door.

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Some ideas to try out:
I am still trying to find the optimal amount of awake time for WBTB. I have noticed that during meditation if I do it eyes closed, on some occasions I would drift away too much towards sleep, getting lots of the WILD sensations, HH, sometimes vibrations, and I catch myself falling asleep, feeling my dream body take off/separating. So perhaps instead of WBTB, wake up earlier than usual have a tea, meditate on couch, then lay down to lucid? At least worth a try when nobody is around.

Before sleep: noticing sleep sensations

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Dream recall method: dr1- wrote down a few sentences and went over dream 2 times in mind before falling asleep; fragments – no method, had to wake up

HH1: unconsciously talk thinking to myself about some DV post

HH2: was dream thinking how hard it is for a woman to go out with a man in some restrictive countries

Dream1: I was at grandma2, and backpack was on the floor wide open. I noticed how many strange objects were there. We were about to go to the mountains and I was happy about that. I was thinking what to bring to read there, some magazine perhaps.

Now we are in the outskirts of the mountain, near a bus stop. I have most likely forgotten to go up the mountain and am heading back home instead. There are people on the bus stop and without any notice a dog bites my back. I do not feel any pain but I am tightly grabbed by its jaws, it doesn’t let go. I start thinking out loud why it attacked me, I wasn’t mentally provoking it in any way. I try to negotiate my way out of its grab, by talking to the dog. It eventually releases me.

I am at the lower part of the mountain where there are houses around. I head down a slope, but as I look at it, I see the shore. This turns into a very beautiful scene, where I am looking at a wonderful array of sea cliffs, the waves slowly clashing against the cliffs. I look at the sky and it is clear blue, the sun is shining on the cliffs and they look fantastic. I feel the urge to go as close to the water as possible. The waves, though, wet some cliffs so I decide not to go that far because it is slippery there. There are lots of people watching the sea and cliffs, some take pictures. Just behind me is the city hall and the female mayor, short dark red-brown hair comes to tell us that pictures are forbidden. An unpleasant DC man continues taking pics even photographs me. Soon two guards come and take everybody to a bus to drive them home or just drop them off somewhere. I want to go back to the beautiful place, so when the bus doors open I escape and go back. At this point the sun is already setting and the cliffs are darker. There are no people around so I still tour around looking at the shore. The guard comes back to pick me up again. We are walking somewhere but he has a sudden surge to visit the restroom, so I say that I will be waiting outside.



Fragment2: I am with my bf in a café maybe. But then I decide to go somewhere else, on my way I decide to go back. I get really confused in this unknown to me city center. The dream was quite vivid and I had a hard time orienting and even crossing the street where there were cars but no traffic lights. I cannot find the place I was initially in, so I try calling my bf. I end up in some nice looking hotel, preparing to have lunch there. I am not a guest of the hotel, but can use its facilities including having lunch there.

Fragment3: Another confusing walk. Initially I found the restroom but go out and try to go back. I am in this building complex and go round in circles, always ending up in something like a café, but I can’t find the restroom, I begin to feel completely lost in this maze.

Fragment4: Some kind of embroidered patches with animated characters. What was peculiar about this embroidery was that it kept on moving even after you sew it on clothes.

Fragment5: This was supposed to be a friend of mine, but it was a completely another person, with short hair and bright red thin lips. She has some kind of red medallion, which looked like a soft cotton Christmas toy.

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End-of-the-month review

Days since registered at DV: 19

March LD before DV reg: 1 DILD

March LDs after DV reg: 1 semi-lucid; 2 DILDs (both snooze type), pretty long and stable

Dream recall: fluctuating between very detailed dreams to remembering fragments and noting key words.

DJ: I am content that I have kept a pretty consistent DJ in the last few weeks


Things to continue working on:

- RC: start the day with RC; RC every time I meet a person!

- DS: add toilet to DS

- Sleep sensations: to increase general awareness and prepare for WILD

- WILD: I have to organize myself and make serious attempts at least twice a week?

- Sleep schedule: go to bed on time


Challenges:

- Disruptions: Unfortunately 2 guests will come in mid April in our apartment for 3 weeks full time, so I guess at that time my dream quests will be harder to follow.

- Negativity: sometimes I would wake up and think “No LD again", feeling disappointed. This has got to stop. Think instead, “The next LD is just around the corner” “I enjoy what I am doing and am happy with any dreams I can recall”.

- Laziness: just keep on writing DJ entries and doing RCs!!!

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Other info: My sleep schedule went overboard again. At least we have proven again that bad schedule results in more deep sleep, less dream recall and diminishing LD chances.

Dream recall method: None. I really felt like giving it all up and skipping the DJ today, but forced myself to write those fragments before they were gone.

Dream1: I am watching a show of some kind and am in the audience. Initially this thing was supposed to start late in the evening, but it got postponed so it began at 4.00 am. Towards the end of it, it is 11.00pm the same evening, and I find it a bit strange that it finished earlier than it began. There are a lot of parents with their small kids and they complain that it is getting really late and their kids need to be in bed. So the show is just about to finish. My mom is sitting next to me. Most of the audience at this point consists of black older women. There is a moderator kind of like Oprah. Music starts to play and everybody begins to clap hands church style. I am trying to move my body in the rhythm but something in me doesn’t wanna do it. I can’t do what they expect me to. Next thing, a song from the 60ies begins to play, a song which I knew in the dream very well. Once more, everybody including my mom knows the moves of this song. It is a strange sequence of finger moves around the head and on the face. My mom encourages me to participate, but again I just can’t do it because this time for real I have no idea what the moves are, so I feel a bit stupid.

Fragment2: I am going back in some place where I see an old friend of mine. It looks like he has made a huge mess, there is lots of water and dirt on the floor and he is trying to clean it with a mop. I wonder if I should do something about it but it looks like he is finishing up. I take some cauliflower from the floor and throw it in the trash. I go back to look for my friend, wondering whether I should tell him about LD and what he will think about it.

Fragment3: Another friend of mine. I was wondering if he is really back. Don’t remember much, but I perceived him very vividly, I guess because I couldn’t believe it was him.

Fragment4: I look around and notice that I am in some German looking city. I say to someone that this looks like the same city I went to a concert a while ago. [I had a very long and vivid dream where I went to a concert in a small German city a few months ago. That dream concert was really cool!]. Then I look around and see that perhaps it’s not the same city.

Fragment5: I was reading a post on DV.

Note to self: “I am going to bed on time tonight. I will notice every feeling I have when falling asleep”.

During day: 6xRCs

Total Sleep time: 6+ hrs.

Other info: Went to bed quite late, fell asleep even later.

Dream recall method: DS review

After waking up couldn't remember almost anything, so I went over my DS, checking for a gut/ memory reaction. Got a confirmation with 2 DS. Today I have only fragments

Fragment1: My dad was riding a bike, which later transformed into a skateboard. He was performing some unbelievable stunts.

Drawing a line under water in the same place where other tracks were.

Fragment2: I am in something like student housing, got my own room there. Some guys which I know in the dream leave the room and I lock the door. One of them had to return he forgot something, it is agent Cho from the Mentalist but he looks even prettier. He asks me where the knife is, it is laying on the desk nearby. Some bad guys smoke cigarettes outside, one of them resembles Ross from Friends.

Fragment3: I am having a way too honest conversation with grandma, where I complain a lot and feel like a complete loser. My aunt is lying on a bed, next to grandma, using my blanket, and a pillow I identify as mine. She plays, or just uses as another pillow a toy rabbit which my grandma says is very important to her, so grandma wants it back.

Fragment4: An unpleasant person from my past. I notice her in the midst of a crowd. She is wearing Sari type of clothes, orange color predominantly. She expects to win some kind of award and when that does not happen I see her face convulse with anger.

During day: 5xRCs including DS review

Dream recall technique: none used, remembered 2 dreams

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

After being too lazy or tired in the last few days, I decided it's time to try to WILD again. Set the alarm clock to wake me 5hrs after going to bed, woke up, stayed awake for a few mins (I avoid waking myself too much because I really cannot fall asleep afterwards), then went back to bed, repeating a mantra. I fell asleep.

Dream1: I am in someplace which is my dream home and I am going to bed trying to WILD, blankets all around me, mobile phones, watches showing the time. Then I wake up in the dream, I am in the car with my dad who is driving me somewhere. How strange I think, I really can't remember what I did or where I have been before that. I look at a watch and it's five hours later than when I went to bed in the dream. “It’s like I have lost five hours of my life”, I am thinking to myself.

My parents are cooking dinner in an unknown building in our old neighbourhood. I want to WILD and initially lay my blankets on the roof of a building, trying to relax there. Somehow I am teleported where my parents are and they make a lot of noise so I can't fall asleep. We watch a large part of something, the size of window, fly off and crash on our neighbors’ roof. It is my fault [of course!] because I have forgotten to close the windows so the wind blew that part away. I remember in the dream that I have closed the windows and start telling this to my dad. We go to my parents’ bedroom where the neighbors are also visible and have a look at the windows.

The wind is so strong that I am afraid that everything will start flying off in different directions. I close the windows, but as soon as I do they open again. The frame looks pretty broken. My dad says he will put something on the windows so the windows can't be used again. This saddens me because I won't be able to look at the sunset anymore, so I tell him. I look in the direction of the sunset and a see a larger than usual sun, more yellowish less bright with some details visible. I remember not to stare at it too long because it's bad for the eyes.

A few blocks away I see a huge tornado just starting to form. Oh, no! It's far but it is coming, so I tell my parents we should go somewhere else. Then I start wasting time, trying to grab my blanket, looking around for other stuff. The tornado is getting closer really fast. It has a scary destructive force, I see it passing over and through a row of houses, there are sound and sight of implosions and the houses are completely destroyed. There is very little chance to make it if we stay in the building. Better try to run outside. So I do.

I find myself in another building, facing a boy. I consider this to be a bit strange but go on my way as I see the scary gray mist swirling around. There is an expensive section in this building something like a cafe for special people. Next to it is the exit. I am running from the windows where the tornado is towards the cafe /exit. I rush through the cafe shouting “Get out, now!” to the woman who works there. There are three very strange looking kids that have been left there by their ultra rich parents. I try to take them with me but they don't react, just stare there with blank faces, so I leave them at the table. One of the employees of the cafe tells me that all is safe outside, so I urge her to look around the corner to confirm. She doesn't want to do that. I do it myself. No swirling or tornado coming yet, so I walk a bit, but as I cross the street I see it is getting nearby, a fast moving mist rather than a tornado, so I launch myself forward, jump some fences and continue running...[end]

I woke up after this, since I had no WILD success again I just decided to sleep some more. I forgot any other dreams. It was time to wake up but I pressed the alarm for one more snooze. 9 mins to go. (By the way I thought I could change the snooze settings but can't figure how to do so). I am not attempting to LD, I really don't care at this point.

Dream2 Snooze DILD: I am in a car parked near my parents' current place, my alarm clocks are all around me again. My teacher is trying to reach me on the phone in the dream. I know that I will soon wake up so I don't bother picking up. I am staring at the sky. Is it a spaceship? A strange object is flying around, it looks like a flying truck, how can that be? My awareness is trying to awake. I follow the flight of this truck until it lands in the yard nearby. At that point I know that I am dreaming! An older DC man is in the truck, he reminds me of some unknown famous actor, also looks angry and menacing. He comes to me looking somewhat aggressive. I am really tired of all the chasing around, so I just intend him to be a nice guy, and to my amazement he decides to take it easy. The car where I am begins sliding down the road, but the yard end/road entrance is too narrow for it to pass. I somehow try to size the car down, it becomes very long and thin and I am amazed at this transformation. I stop the car and go to my room in my parents place.

No idea why I decided to go there. Now, in front of me is a gray cloud forming, starting to look scary. I remember the tornado fear, so this is unpleasant. I am still lucid although getting distracted by the cloud, when I remember not to give in. I try to make the cloud go away. In this case, I am stronger so it cannot do anything and just vanishes.

I somehow start unintentionally creating clouds. Those look like real clouds from far away, different hues and shades on the cloud, partly lit by the sun, etc. I also hear the sound of distant thunder coming from the mini vivid cloud in front of me, I really like that. I am having a moment of great enjoyment creating these clouds making them appear from my hands as if they were a ball of cloud, there is also some dark blue light sparkling. I do this quite a few times until I get exhausted and cannot do it anymore. I am still lucid, but am beginning to lose concentration, so I decide to get out of there and go to the street.

I am on the street. A rather unpleasant looking DC decides he will accompany me to wherever I am going. The only task from my list that I remember to do is to summon a certain DC and ask him a pre-determined question. I start calling out for the DC to appear, nothing. I try again, no result. I ask the ugly DC next to me where is the DC I am trying to summon. Of course, he doesn't know. I don't like that, but I nevertheless decide to ask him the question I had in mind. He answers something nonsensical. I try to have a conversation with him, but I find it hard to hear or understand what he says. We probably exchanged no more than a few sentence and I notice in the dream that I start forgetting what he said. [Very strange, I guess there is place for only one two questions at a time]

I wonder how I am still here on the street for what feels like so long and the dream is still here, I am happy about that. I notice two tall guys with black scarves around their heads walking towards us. I notice how out of order this looks and smile to myself, how easy it is to spot inconsistencies while I am lucid now. I try to stop them maybe talk to them, but they insist on continuing on their way, strong momentum so making them stop is really hard. Still no alarm clock interfering, I expect it to ring any moment. I get distracted thinking and then find myself in darkness, feeling my body. My eyes are still closed and I try to DEILD but no success.

I look at my alarm clock, two minutes to the alarm? I jump out of bed trying to hold on to the dream memory, which today feels very evasive as the dreams begin to erase themselves.

Final remarks: Dream control today was really good, tried out the tips to make the chaser a nice guy, which worked in this LD. I also think that reading posts and this tutorial on dream control http://www.dreamviews.com/wiki/Dream-Control-Tutorial helped!

Before sleep: felt like listening to relaxing music when falling asleep but decided to turn it off. Big mistake, was way too awake and my mind decided it was time to torture me with worries about an incoming situation irl. I managed to convince myself I am not interested in its worries tonight, and started day dreaming more pleasant situations instead. 2 hours went by before I felt asleep…

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

Dream recall techniques: tired and lazy tonight, so none

First Regular Dream: No DJ entry. Woke up around 3 hrs after falling asleep, went to toilet and repeated two times the key word which was supposed to unravel the dream. Was really sleepy and did not turn on tablet to write down, which I should have done, because I couldn’t remember anything from this dream when waking up 4 hrs later.

Snooze dreams: I wanted to sleep, felt really tired, but I also wanted to lucid, so I switched between setting the alarm clock for 20 more minutes or just pressing the snooze button.

Snooze dream1: Me and some classmates were in a building, which later feels more like a mall. I remember in the dream that there is a place in the mall, where they sell really attractive cupcakes/brownies, etc. I am interacting with my friends and I dream some toilets as per dream tradition.

Snooze dream2: The building I am in feels like some kind of hospital in space, maybe spaceship. The atmosphere is very dynamic because it is part of the “Aliens” game that I am playing in the dream. This is very similar to previous dreams I had. [I haven’t played “aliens” for years and after so many paranoid dreams I am surely not buying the new one!] The room door in front of me will open any minute, somebody is counting down, and there are lots of aliens waiting to jump on me. Just great! I try running away from them, rushing to a room, closing the door. They are coming! I try to open the window and jump from it. It is very high and I fall, I fail to hold on to any branches of a nearby tree and keep on falling. But I guess, my attention is not programmed to hit the ground, so it happens as if I really managed to grab some branches and am hanging in the air. I feel gravity in a really strange way as I am completely disoriented as to in which direction the ground is. The aliens are probably climbing the building so they will reach me soon.

I wake up putting the alarm for some 20 mins later and think I want to WILD. I feel very sleepy but I try to keep myself awake, staring at the blackness in front of me, keeping the intention to have a lucid. I didn’t notice when I fell asleep.

Snooze dream3 - DILD: The scenario where the aliens are coming continues, but this time I am at my old place, in my room. A transparent guy, I can only see the contours of his body, walks in the room. At first I think he will chase me, but then he turns into a friend from school. I have the urge to kiss him, and well, I do. The paranoia returns and I feel the presence of aliens or whatever is after me behind the room door. There is only one way out now – the balcony. I head for the balcony, and as I cross and have the view of the balcony in front of me, I become aware that I am dreaming. I repeat that I am dreaming in my mind, to be sure that I don’t reintegrate in the dream and lose awareness. Ok, great, but there is this thing that I still feel is coming. Would it stop doing that? I kind of know that I am causing its behaviour with my thoughts, so I try to make it disappear. Does not work. I continue down the balcony, which is really long. I think that if I ignore it, it may not be there, but then I turn my back and there it is. The chaser is now an old rasta man that feels somewhat ominous to me. I mumble that I want him to go away, no effect again. I am reaching the end of the balcony, the corner of the building. I try to think of alternatives of how to deal with the situation. At that very moment the damn alarm clock starts ringing. I am extremely annoyed at this, I really don’t want to wake up now, argh! Perhaps my anger turned to determination not to wake up and I managed to hold the dream and me there as I heard the alarm clock resonating everywhere. No idea how long that was, but it eventually stopped. [I have never attempted to ignore an alarm clock before, neither have I noticed that it stops because I always wake up and turn it off]
Still on the edge of the balcony, thinking what to do, I see the old rasta advancing, and consider the option of jumping off the building. I know that I will be fine, but when I think about down, I don’t turn my head, just think, I see blackness and I am concerned that I will probably lose it, because the scene will change. “Try to think of a scene to land in”, I think but this is way too complicated. I decide to jump anyways. I am standing at the edge of the balcony and the soles of my bare feet are half way through the air. I do not feel stable enough underneath to be able to perform a jump movement and to launch myself. The dream slips away and I wake up.

Comments: Chasers can be really annoying when you LD. I had some tasks in mind but I really can’t do anything when I feel compelled to run away. Is there any reliable and efficient way to get rid those cheeky entities that prevent you from doing other planned LD actions? Fighting them is way too distracting and making them disappear does not always work. Any tips?

Despite my increased motivation to LD, the recent two weeks have not delivered to my perhaps unrealistic expectations, so I decided it’s time to analyze what has been happening.

Negatives:
- Sleep schedule disruptions: unfortunately guest stay-over during the weekends (on bf’s initiative) means having exhilarating conversations up to 2 am, then listening to bed preparations, and I fall asleep at 4-5 am. Obviously, this makes it harder to wake up early, and go to bed early, and this is spiralling into the week.
- Increased sugar intake: I have been very tired last couple of days, mostly like because of the above reasons, but I’m thinking that eating some ultra sweet desserts before bed in the last few evenings has contributed to this. Don’t usually consume that much sugar and this dehydrates and exhausts me.
- Reduced physical activity: have not touched dumbbells/jogging, etc., really don’t feel like moving at all! I probably should go back to exercising, this does help my sleep and improves my mood. Just do it!

Positives:
-RCs: after registering at DV, I have been doing a nice amount of RCs, including starting the day with a RC
-DJ: I keep the tablet near my bed, so it’s pretty fast & easy to jot down any dreams
-Sleep recall: I have been writing down dreams every day, even if it’s just fragments, and that helps me remember more
-Just let it be: I try to have a positive attitude, perhaps my body is tired and needs more sleep, so I just let myself recharge, confident that things will eventually align
-Dream Yoga: as mentioned before I was conducting the experiment, having to fall asleep, while concentrating on a white letter ”a” on the area below navel for seven days in a row. That helps me fall asleep faster, plus usually helps with LDs, so I think I will try to incorporate it into my every night routine.

19 March Dream Fragments

As mentioned, was really exhausted last few days, so I slept like a log, didn’t even wake up to go to toilet.  After waking up still tired as hell, I couldn’t remember anything. I was beginning to get rather pissed off, but did a RC anyways. I also repeated my DS – there are lots them. If not anything else, I catch the feeling that I dreamt 3 DS, I sit on the sofa and try to concentrate (got interrupted by a phone call and conversation in the process).

Dream1 [Fragment]: I am at my grandma’s apartment(DS). She is also there and plans on going to the city center with the tram. I tell her that she will be really uncomfortable in the tram, taking into consideration the way she is dressed. She wears a green sweater, similar to one I had but never wore in the past, and she has a semi-transparent red-orange blouse from a lighter material over the sweater, so basically these are reverse and I tell her that she needs to change, so that she is more flexible in the public transportation. [there was more I can’t remember]

Dream2: I am in my first school (DS) and a schoolmate (DS) from there tells me he wants to find our teacher from second grade. We go into one of the classrooms (I am always amazed IRL at how accurately I remember my schools in dreams!), looking for our teacher. She is behind the teacher desk, her hair has greyed, she behaves like a puppet. I tell her that my schoolmate was looking for her and wants to send his regards to her. While I am saying this, she behaves like a robot, doesn’t even look at me, but continues writing down on some document, which she signs, and perhaps tries to pass to me. We leave the room and I continue in the corridor, towards the school gym. In the corridor are two girls from my high school (DS). They are happy to see each other, talking to each other. I remember during the dream that they are good friends. I continue towards the gym and see some more girls from high school. A narrator’s voice is telling me something about the two girls, how the mood of the one was actually influencing the behaviour of the other all the time, or something like this.

Dream 3 [DS recall only] – I am sure that I dreamt the guy from high school, that I called main DC in the previous DJ post…