side notes

Pre bed: Green tea

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: went to bed very late, deep sleep tonight, and recall was hard. I have been trying to recall the whole first dream all day long but with little success.

Fragment1 DILD: I am looking at a male person, concentrating on top of their head. I see a second more transparent double layer shining with color, I am so aware, lucid is an understatement. I get a great sense of understanding. There is a discussion and feelings of happiness from my side. I am also talking with PennyRoyal, he is one of my good buddies in the dream. It was very vivid, but I don't have much recall. My key impressions are positive feelings, knowledge and understanding. This was my first memorable REM or Non-REM? for the night.

Fragment2: Me and somebody else are about to catch a small plane. We are in front of a very small airport, but we need to get to the other part of the airport, we are looking at a map of the area.

brief natural wake, had the idea of writing down the previous dreams but was way too tired, thought I would remember it, so went back to sleep

Fragment3: FA, I wake up in my bed, grab the tablet and start writing down the dream with Penny. My bf is near me, watching what I have typed, I stop writing, I wake up.

WBTB: I wake up, this time jot down keywords, and spend 10 mins struggling to remember more of the dream. Reviewed tasks, but had the feeling this will be it for today.

Dream4: We are in some place with my bf with a blond guy, resembling a former classmate. While he is a total stranger, but my bf doesn't mind him spending the evening with us. We talk for a long time, he is slightly arrogant. The guy decides it's time to leave so he jumps from a bridge. I watch him vanish in the air instead of falling in the water.

Fragment5: Another attempt to remember the dream with Penny, but I am trying to recall during the dream itself. This time I see a water in front of me, it is a waterfall. I think the dream with Penny might have included Angel Falls, also get some feeling of happiness, yet cannot remember more even during the dream.

Fragment6: A new thread started by Xanos

Dream7: I am with my parents in a familiar place. I have the feeling this is the second dream in that place for today. We talk about something with my mom, and I decide to go to another room. I then go out. I feel much better now, by myself, on the street, there is a fence and obviously a zoo. A lot of people are there, I join them. I see a polar bear cub, and that people are actually going beyond the fence. I want to go to where the cub is so I also cross over and am inside the section with the animals.

I look to the other side and see now a brown bear cub, it is on its back, drinking a bottle of coke. I am with a friend of mine and I tell her that the zoo keepers will think that we gave the drink to the bear and be angry with us. I try to take the bottle of coke away from the bear, but I am taking its food, it is stressed now. I am afraid of its mother, which is a much larger polar bear. We are sitting on a couch with some DCs, when the mother bear comes. I try to think of a plan to escape, without attracting her attention. I think at that point she transforms into a DC, conveys the message that she wants us to leave her territory, so I ask the DCs that we go. They get up, we are leaving, and the mother bear DC is grateful.

Comments: It's been three days in a row that I have been dreaming animals, it is high time I begin to recognize this as a dream sign! Also, upon waking up don't forget to at least count fingers or do any RC, to take advantage of those FAs.

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

WBTB: 1/2 cup matcha tea, almost out of it

Fragment1: A former classmate and something strange about his shoes

Natural wake, decide to use it as WBTB, drink some tea, total duration (7mins), was nicely tired and almost falling asleep but then it became too noisy outside, and also got a text message, so inappropriate for Saturday morning...insomnia for like an hour followed.

Dream2: In a familiar town, I am on the tram, the door is open, and I see an unpleasant ex-neighbor. She is running after the tram, trying to get on it, she also holds a cup of coffee. I try to help her, taking the coffee so she runs easier, but it spills. She gets angry and spills the rest of the coffee on me, decides not to get on the tram. There is another tram in front of us, facing the opposite direction. I look back inside, and examine myself, I wonder if I should change my clothes, but decide against it. People around are looking at me but with understanding, I was trying to help after all.

Dream3: I am in my room, I have something like a small terrarium with mice inside. It also had a lid, and the lid is gone now, a few mini mice jump out of there. I try to catch them and eventually succeed. I am slightly worried about catching a disease from the mice, so decide to wash them first, then put them back in this thing. It changes to a real terrarium and the mice are now guinea pigs. I think about feeding them, what do they eat, do I need to clean anything after them, ect. I look at a desk which on the wrong place, and see something like a bigger guinea pig, a bit more like a grey rabbit now. It seems that have escaped once again...I also notice a grey stuffed elephant and wonder where it came from, I come up with some fake memory that it is from my bf.

Fragment4: A very realistic FA, I am in our corridor, I hear the sound of running water, go to the bathroom and see the water is on. I become very concerned that I have forgotten it, water running all night long. ( This felt so real, and I was so sleepy, I am slightly questioning whether this happened irl, but most likely not because I didn't hear it during WBTB, crazy!)

Fragment5&6: FAx2, I wake up in the dream, go the restroom to pee. Looking a slightly different but very realistic each time, I wake up in my real bed. Then again. (Note for competition, while this is the whole dream, because it is short, I put it as fragment)

Comment: That was a bit strange, but also cool, I don't get many FAs. The tea is to blame, my bladder really was full.

Fragment7: The principal is cleaning up some of his things. I also participate, I see an old barbecue part that I want to throw away and some jars full of pickles, and one with minced meat that looked terrible.

Fragment8: My grandma is wearing a strange outfit, trying to gather things from trees. She tells me that my aunt wants to come by and sunbathe with us. I had other plans, but whatever.

Fragment9: A friend of mine and me are discussing clothes, he proposes that I go to a certain store, I have already been there, found nothing of interest.

Fragment10: I am finishing a cup of chocolate and look at the bottom. There is a chunk of cookie dough there, I wonder for a bit about it.

Goal for the rest of the day: I must DO ten RCs today, plus ADA (at least!)

Date: 15 May

Pre bed: 400 mg valerian, 100b B6

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Impressions and Recall: There was my usual for B6 sense of aggression seeping through parts of the dream. After waking up from the lucid (after 5 hrs of sleep), I decided to take key notes and review as not to wake myself up. I got pretty excited and the internal dialogue turned on full power, resulting in about an hour of insomnia. After that I fell into deeper more unconscious type of sleep with a decreased recall capability. I had another lucid from which I remember only a part, I continued sleeping after it was over and had an non-ld.

Fragment1: Some kind of posts on DV that had to do with PennyRoyal.

Fragment2: At home, my parents have gone somewhere and I am in my room cooking some strange pancake/calzone thing that looks and tastes delicious. I have to leave some for my grandma.

Dream3 DILD TOTY attempt: I am in a room which feels familiar, three women are sitting around the table, and I am cleaning up as if after a meal. One of the women has some tempting white green chocolate cookies, I am secretly planning on having a few after the women are gone. Another female DC comes in and starts behaving really aggressively. She demands all the attention, looks me in the eye with hatred and begins complaining to one of the women in the room. I have the feeling that they will start a fight with each other, so get out of there fast. Her hostility feels kind of fake, and at this point the memory of the B6 effect for me reaches my subcon on a subtle level.

I find myself on the stairs of a building and lots of aggressive gangster type boys are all around me. One of them is particularly evil, feels dangerous. I become lucid on a distracted level, realizing this is a dream, but unable to do anything about the guy. I am trying to move away but it is really crowded on the stairs, I think somebody pushed me, and I end up in a niche on the wall. The wall is not really wall but something liquid that sucks me in. As I move forward in this thing, I achieve a better clarity of mind and am fully lucid and in control. There is a single task that I feel the urge to do now, go to Angel Falls. I remember CL’s advice to try to feel the floor, so I move my fingers, touching the empty space and feeling small grains of sand and pebbles. The dream idea was to be on top of Angel Falls, but in the water, so in addition to my feeling the floor, I begin to make swimming movements with my hands. The wall is already liquid and it is like a white pinkish sinking sand made of rubber-like substance. The whole world has disappeared and it is just me and the wall and I feel a closer to the void, afraid that the dream would destabilize and disconnect. I am swimming forward and nothing happens for a while, but I decide to keep on swimming. At some point the whole environment changes and I find myself looking at a flower, submerged in water.

I look at the dark purple flower and marvel its beauty, noticing every petal in detail. I look around, and see that I am in the middle of a pond/lake that stretches as far as my eyes can see. At the same time, mixed with this image I find myself in my old room, where all this is taking place. I focus on the surface of the pond which looks like a silver mirror reflecting the clouds. I then notice that this pond is covered or rather slowly begins to cover itself with lotus flowers. Bright yellow and magenta lotus flowers are everywhere I move my eyes to look. I feel happiness upon witnessing this beautiful sight. The dream is extremely vivid and stable. Needless to say, I am somewhat distracted by this, but keep gliding on the surface of the pond in the direction of Angel Falls. This doesn’t work too well, I am still within the confines of my room, looking through some glass that distorts the view from outside, which is the view from my room with strange rainbow-like effects. A bit like looking out during a bus ride. It looks like my room wins the battle between the two layers of images, gaining more detail.

Soon the water level in the room goes down and with it my lucidity. I struggle to restore the water level with intent, but non-lucid already. I manage to briefly do so, but then I see the floor and the water is retreating. There is also mud everywhere, the furniture is falling apart. I become concerned about the state of my old room and wonder how to clean everything. [end of memory]

After the dream ended, I had a brief awakening, noting to myself about the lucid, but then fell asleep again. I heard some kind of bell-like sound, I guess a type of HI, that actually woke me up. After reviewing the dream I had 1 hour of insomnia. Then - deeper sleep and less memorable sleep.

Fragment4: Having to share the bed with relatives, I preferred sleeping on the ground.

Fragment5: Some more beds, family friends.

Dream6 DILD: I am in my hometown, in a familiar park and am lucid. I see a few dogs around, mostly small ones and larger one (no idea what breed) captures my attention. I keep looking at it and feel my emotions reflected in the dog. I observe it a for a while, the dream is stable, I am happy. By simply looking around, I unconsciously summon more dogs of different smaller breeds. I find this cool. [end of memory]

Fragment7: I see and talk to a politician I don’t like.

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Pre bed: Q10, probiotics, and cup of green tea (no problem falling asleep after yesterday's insomnia)

Other stuff: The guys had a planned event for today morning, so my chances to get some decent sleep and lucid were minimal, and yet...

Recall: As soon as I woke up, so did my bf and realized he's really late, started running around and talking to me as I tried to remember and write down the dreams. Took me a while to finish that.

Dream1: My parents have abandoned our home, and the place is falling apart. I go to the restroom and try flushing, but there is no water. It is because there was a leakage, so they have stopped the water. I wonder why don't they just fix everything instead of leaving it like that. My mom appears and says it is time for us to go.

On our way out we see an older friend of ours and ask her how she is doing. She replies very briefly, so I ask her about her son, I actually say the wrong name, but in the dream that's his name. She then begins a very long story that I don't feel like listening to, and I regret ever asking her. I tell her to send my greetings to him although I could contact him myself.

Soon her son/my friend comes by and we are drinking apple juice. As I pour myself some juice, I notice that there are insects like a dead yellow ladybug and some insect eggs the jug, and decide I won't be having any more juice. My friend is a bit offended that I don't want to drink the juice and we now have to throw it away. I leave the building, he remains to deal with the juice, but will join me later.

I am on the street, I hear music and I see native Americans perform at the end of the street. The come to the front, wearing traditional costumes. I also see some bright spots with different colors about half the size of a person above each of them and assume I am seeing their aura. I enjoy the show, they sing and perform some stunts. When it is over, I notice that I am the only person clapping hands so I feel a bit embarrassed. Why is nobody applauding? I conclude that if you do applaud, you are supposed to leave some money, and as I check my pockets I find that I don't have any.

Dream2: My bf is negotiating with my dad about a place we want to visit. Actually I have not told my dad about this so it gets a bit awkward. We postpone the discussion for another time and my dad is on his way home. He is taking a bus, and I am looking at the back of the bus, expecting to wave goodbye. He finally looks back and I see that he is talking to a friend of his, and there is also some unknown woman that he is friends with.

I suddenly find myself sitting on the backseat of the bus, and two of my friends are also sitting with me there. We propose an explanation that this bus is very spacey, so when we thought we were outside, we actually never left the bus. Ok, but we need to get out, especially that we know that this is a travel bus, and won't be making any stops until it reaches its destination. We go to at least try to inform the driver we need to get off.

As we move forward, we are in some kind of a building, but in our minds, we are still in the bus. Our goal is to reach the reception, so once we reach it, we will be able to leave the bus. The building is very strange, I am looking at some building plan, trying to navigate and find the way out. There are lots of doors and lockers, it looks really puzzling. I remark that everything looks so strange, it almost feels like in a dream. We continue looking around, I see some women working there as janitors and ask them where the reception is, but they can't help us.

One of my friends comes up with the idea that we need to inject ourselves with a time travel serum so we can escape this place. We prepare to do so, we have some syringes, the green time travel serum and start injecting ourselves with it. I get the largest dose, the serum is visible on hands, and our veins get extra green.

I am on some unknown street, and we have succeeded in changing the course of events and going back in time. I look at my fingers and notice that the knuckles have swollen, my fingers are bent in a very painfully looking way. This is strange, but I remember that some portion of the serum was in contact with my skin, which is what have caused this temporary side effect.

I take a brief moment and contemplate about time and what has changed. I look at a clothing store and I see that a guy that used to do something else before we changed time, is now famous and has his own label. I wonder about my memories because things have changed, would I know what has happened. I answer to myself, that I wouldn't but everybody else would have the new memory in place and I will learn what happened just as if I am listening to the news, that way I will get updated.

Dream3 DILD TOTM: I think this directly followed after our time travel. I enter in a room and notice a very old TV of a known brand and something that looks like a retro computer. The brand of the computer is also there, but it doesn't look familiar. I am in uplifted mood and say to some DC friend of mine. "Now we are going to have a look, have some fun reading the brand name and see if it changes". I stare at the logo, try reading it and expect to be normally able to read it.

Instead, I have difficulty focusing on the letters and it finally hits me! I really did not expect to become lucid today, but anyways I am happy about that. Oh right, once again time to concentrate on the tasks. My mind is a bit hazy, so I think I need to set the room for this, looking around for the items I need. I turn way too much and it feels more like spinning than looking around. I expect some mythological creature to just pop up while I do this, and mistakenly to see an egg as well. Nothing of the kind.

I notice at least five DCs sitting down, their backs facing me, as if they are all working on their PCs. I begin shouting, asking them to help me set the room and everything I need. Nobody is paying any attention to me. I become upset at this and finally decide to tell them they are not real. No reaction, their backs are really stiff. I repeat this again as if I am insulting them with those words. Finally, a girl with dark hair and vampire teeth answers back. I can barely hear what she is saying, she repeats it again " Oh, I am bla bla with fear". Bla bla is actually some m-word that does not exist at all. You are what? I ask her again. I repeat the strange m-word a few more times, trying to memorize it. It works but I begin to forget the dream. The vampire girl starts to laugh, and makes me laugh too. Overcame by happiness, I am able to control the DCs in the room and everybody bursts out laughing.

The dream fades and I am back in darkness, in my bed. I feel tired and heavy so no point to DEILD. I want to get up to journal, but fall asleep instead.

Dream4: I am in a classroom, and recognize at least one guy from school there. He is trying to tell me something, pointing at him, then at me. Me and him? No way, I tell him, then I realize that he is just pulling my leg. He continues with this strange stupid behavior and now tries to match a friend of his with another classmate of mine. These guys are crazy... (end)

I wake up, my bf wakes up, the whole world wakes up, and everybody is rushing around as I try to hold my dream memory and write it down. Finally TOTM!

Pre bed: Brain multi vit

Result: vividness plus sleepiness, emotional dreams

WBTB: fail, no tea, no menthol

Recall method: none

Fragment1: two guys that are dreamers meet. It seems that all three of us have great self-control and understanding.
mood: positive

Dream2: I am in my old neighborhood, now go into some strange house where I am good friends with the DC owner. There is like a gathering of people, my mom's friends, some classmates that I don't like etc. For some reason, I begin teasing them and they react very aggressively. Everybody is looking at me, shouting at the same time, there is heavy tension and hatred? The DC guy is the only friendly person in the room, and I worry that he will be forced to join the group of aggressive DCs.
mood: aggression in the air

Later on I go to his room, there are two beds in the room, he is sharing the room with his sister but I notice only one desk. There is another room, where he was born, so they are keeping it for the next generation. My father is also there.
mood: inquisitive

In another part of the house, later on. The DC is now somebody I know, and I make him happy. I am concerned about doing the whole thing, but it is too late.
mood: sexual

Fragment3: One of our guests who initially insisted the bedsheets are dirty and disgusting now tells me that we only need to sprinkle them with water and put them back. I disagree and tell her that she contradicts herself. This leads to a scandal and there is more tension in the air.

Comments: OK, I have completely ruined it today. I told myself yesterday, I make a plan in the evening, then have the discipline to follow my plan, no matter what my mood is during WBTB. Why oh why did I turn off the alarm clock and went to bed, when the plan was to have some tea before that? A little bit of wakefulness was exactly what I needed! I really have to get more serious about the WBTB, only once in a week is a true fiasco!

And another reminder: every time there is sexual attraction to another guy, at least do RC, chances are this is a dream!

Oh, anyways....feed your brain multivitamins make for a neurotic personality it seems.

Date: 7 May

During day: Re-energized by consuming lots of fruits

Pre bed: 3mg melatonin

WBTB duration: 16 mins, woke myself too much, hard time falling back asleep

WBTB: 2x peppermint oil tablets (200mg each)

Recall method: Woke pen-noted an almost illegible description during WBTB for Dream2, briefly reviewed in mind when back to bed

Fragment1: A large spider and then other insects, one was like a bee, I am trying to kill them, smashed them successfully

Dream2 DILD: My father has given me the task of preparing some kind of report for him. I am browsing in a chemistry textbook with different substances and after each substance there is a lengthy regression. My father wants a list of the substances only, which I don't think is right. He is annoyed that I am so slow and still not ready. I move on and jump over some furniture and see my grandma. I begin to explain that the regressions are the most important part in this report.

I continue on my way, and now am in something similar to a trailer with a friend of mine. Obviously she is keeping some items of mine there, one carton box with my stuff, that I want to take on my way. We talk about something. I notice that there is a wounded cheetah on the table. Actually there is no sign of wound but I know it is tired. I play with its tail, and caress it. It purrs and gently rubs its soft head and body on my hand. It is very enjoyable for both of us. I discuss the cheetah with someone, pointing out that it is the fastest creature on earth.



I then move on, I find myself in another place and someone tells me that my friends, and lists a number of people I supposedly know, are dead in another part of the city. Obviously machines have taken over the city and are destroying it. I look outside the window and see construction machines falling into an abyss. I have a bit of a paranoia from the machines because I know that they will soon come to destroy this part of town. I become desperate and say something like " I am so tired of such situations when I think that I am dreaming, but I am not, later it is a dream, then it is not!". I decide it is time to leave the place, and walk out a door. I notice a coca cola label sticker, but there is a poem on it. Perhaps I should leave something behind, I wonder, but there really is no point.

I am going to fly scout the area, to see if the machines are still in that part of town. I stretch my hands horizontally, like a cross, and then lift off in this position. I have good control of my movement this time, but still flying too high is a bit of challenge, it has to do with the vision of the ground below me.

It is hard to look down and perceive the flight distance and control the flight at the same time, but I fly in the direction that I desire. I am also lucid at this point. At above skyscraper height, I fly now forward, over an area with some water, HK in my mind, and look for a place to land. I have completely forgotten about the machines. Then the word "tasks" emerges in my mind and I remember I have work to do. For a second the thought crosses my mind that I may not have the time to do any tasks, but then answer myself that DV people won't mind that because I still had a good time flying.

As I land, I feel some kind of a string release me, I am then on the ground. I look at the DC in front of me. He is rather unpleasant but I accept this, his faces changes and he is now more beautiful and smiling. There is a DC woman to my left, but I pay little attention to her. I think at that point I may have had the gut feeling that this dream is coming to an end, and decide to stabilize before starting on any tasks. I remember to shout something and it feels a bit more stable. Then I throw myself on the ground, feel it as much as possible with my hands, little stones, etc. and as if that isn't enough, I decide to lick the ground. I also lick some kind of trash a blue thread, it tastes like rubber. I find this last part disgusting and decide to spit out. Saliva comes out of my mouth and at that moment I feel my physical lips moving. Before I have any time to react I find myself in my bed, still with my eyes closed, but very aware of my physical body. I feel there is no point to DEILD so I head for the journal.

Note: This wake was a few minutes before the WBTB alarm. I decide to use this wake as WBTB, take notes, visit restroom, wonder whether I should try the menthol tablets, have two tablets. The whole thing takes about 16 mins but I am too awake as I go back to bed. I wonder what to do from here...I decide I might cycle a bit to help me sleep but as I start with sight my mind shuts down and I begin drifting off, while still having awareness of my body. I cannot do even one cycle. It may sound like a good state to do WILD, but it isn't that good. I spent one hour in a semi-conscious borderline state where I occasionally saw and withdrew from dreamlets, yet wasn't dreaming, but rather laying there half-aware of my body and fully aware that I can't fall asleep. The tablets or the earlier wake gave me mild heartburn as well. I finally managed to fall asleep but then it was time to get up...

Dream3 mini-lucid: Together with some guys, this time we are on a flying machine, initially like a retro airplane, I am trying to control its movements, but it is hard. We are going to a conference related to technology, and approaching a block where this is taking place. I see a parking place for flying machines and land this now spacesuit? there. I hope nobody steals it while we are away. I look for number ten part of the building, we must be really close. There is also a McD in the building, which explains why there are so many people around. To my left is Justin Bieber, I am moderately happy. I am lucid for a very short while thinking about the peppermint oil tablets I took and whether they affect my experience. The alarm wakes me up.

Note: Happy about the first lucid, despite the fact that couldn't do any tasks. I feel this was at the end of the early more memorable REM cycles. The second lucid was very short so I am not including it in my count.

Date: 5 May

Total sleep time: 3 hrs

Dreams: None remembered, although I am sure I was dreaming something when I had to wake up to prepare for travel

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Date: 6 May

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Impressions: While I was looking forward to the REM rebound, I actually got a lot of heavy sleep today and retrieving memories was rather hard. This is not the first time I have noticed this effect since I began keeping a more extensive DJ. That's why I decided to put some emphasis on it this time, heavy sleep deprivation actually led to more deep sleep and less memories. Anyways, it's good I got some decent sleep. Now, prepare for lucid!

Fragment1: A friend of ours who is pregnant irl, she may be expecting twins

Fragment2: A conversation about dreaming and lucidity, I vaguely remembered this after briefly waking up, thought things are getting better because I am thinking about lucidity

Fragment3: A good friend from school. I take my time to check out the way he looks, slighly different. There is some feeling at the back of my mind when I observe him, (he is a DS), but I am totally absorbed by the story. He tells me about a class get together they planned but one of the girls made a big scandal? I reply that I remember the event and also say that I have had a dream about the whole thing. I mention dreaming a few more times during the conversation. In the dream I also have the feeling my friend may have dreamt about something similar.

Date: 4 May

Total sleep time: 8 hrs, possible REM rebound

Recall method: memorized, later wrote down

Location: hotel

Dream1: Two girls that I don't like at all are back. One of them actually has lost a lot of weigh and looks quite fit, and doesn't look like herself at all. I become concerned that the other one will try to come home and convince my bf's brother that she likes him, so that he falls in love with her. I look for a place outside to give my bf a call and warn him about the situation. I do that, then get distracted by some rusty doors of a yard.

Fragment2: Another dream where one of those girls participated

Dream3: I am back to some place, most likely living with my parents. They have invited relatives over and I don't like that, so I decide to go out. Before I do that I engage in extensive TK, lifting all kinds of objects, including rolls of toilet paper. I notice that it is easier to lift some smaller lighter ones. I then look for the keys and find my way out.

As I go out, there are two aggressive dogs that notice me, one small that is trying to bite me and a bigger one. I go back into the house. The DC of a friend of mine is now here as well. I tell her about the situation, she is very confident that there is nothing to worry about and says she will accompany me. We go out, at the same time another woman from the same building comes out and calls the dog by some name. It now behaves very friendly, I want to know its name, but can't get to ask the woman. We reach some kind of subway and I see that most trains are cancelled or there is one every hour. I have also forgotten something, maybe the keys. My friends's DC is very helpful again, suggests that she will go back to get them, I just have to wait for her. I tell her that there is no sense of going out so late, because it will be hard to get on the train if there are many people and it comes only once every hour. She is calm and replies that we will walk back home, no worries about that. She goes to get the keys or whatever and is soon back.

We go out, looking for a place to eat or drink. This guy attaches to us, he works in one of the nearby restaurants and knows the area rather well. He is flirting with my friend, but I know she has a bf, anyways, that's her business.

I am sitting on a table with some guys that I think I know. I see huge cups of raspberries passing on some kind of conveyer in the air. There are also cakes. I see another guy that I know, and he is celebrating his birthday or something, with one of the big cakes, but nobody is paying much attention to him, because they don't like him.

Comments: My friend's DC was very helpful this time. I should really learn to get my DCs to help me more often.

Prebed: 1 1/2 glass of soy milk

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Recall method: none, woke up briefly after each dream but was so sleepy, I didn't bother to write anything. Did not attempt WBTB either. Everything is so fragmented now, good thing I still remember although with much less detail the short DILD I had.

Dream1: We are back to high school and as usual we have to do an extra year. Everybody should be in class soon, I wonder again how are we going to do that. I am waiting for a friend of mine to show up as usual, I don't think he did.

Fragment2: One of my classmates, her features are a bit strange and now she also has a sister that looks very similar to her. (She actually has a brother)

Fragment3: On the beach, I am watching the waves. I think somebody, it kind of looked like a documentary and I was part of it, said that here the waves are just the right size to swim and maybe surf?

Dream4 mini-DILD: The background is grey and a number of DCs that look like zombies are walking towards me. I become lucid. I remember my recent resolution to freestyle during the next lucids and see what I can make out of the situation. I decide that I will use this one to train my reactions. Ok, so they are walking towards me, I don't care at all. I am just consciousness, no material substance, they can't hurt me. They are still advancing, and one comes so close that it actually touches my hand. I feel and see my hand and this destroys my concept of non-materiality. I brace myself for the impact. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

Note to self: Maybe I should spend less time thinking and more time acting in LDs?

Fragment5: I go to the kitchen to look for the bottle of water I bought for myself irl and find that one of our guests has opened it and now holds it in her hand. It is too late to say anything, I just wish this hasn't happened.

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April Review

Number of ld nights: 9 (3 with double lds)

Number of lds: 12 (2 WILD, 2 DEILD, 8 DILD)

Quality: Good, with few exceptions, a few fade away issues and changing the scene is still a challenge

Recall: I am getting used to having a roller-coaster type of recall. I am not sure if I should place additional demands on that at the moment.

Things to work on:

- I think I might go for some flexibility on task completion and work more on stability. (But who knows in what kind of mood I will be?)

- I also want to go back to a more decent WBTB schedule after meeting all kinds of relatives and friends is over.

- There are other issues (like changing the scene) to work on but will see how it all goes and deal with them accordingly.

I got more than I expected in April, so I won't be expecting more than I can get in May. Just keep dreaming...

Total sleep time: 7 hrs, still tired

Dinner: 2 Eggs plus other stuff
Prebed: 1 1/2 Glass of soy milk

Fragment1: I am some kind of adventurer, like Indiana Jones, a man as well. I am about to enter a bunker, when the doors begin to close. I don't want to be stuck inside so I roll on the floor and escape through the exit door just before it closes sliding from above.

Dream2 short DILD: I am in a familiar yard and there are loads of mattresses all stacked together, a pile as high as the third floor perhaps. I am initially sitting on top and trying to balance. I then get down and on the ground there is some red liquid which is toxic and contagious? A Rottweiler is under the influence of this red liquid, he is ranging mad behind a glass window, people are watching him, he is deadly dangerous. I try to quickly move away, pass by it, and find myself on the street. I go in the wrong direction, the street looks slightly familiar in the dream, I have no idea where I am, but confidently go in the direction which I assume is the right one. I begin to speed move on the street and become lucid. I continue speed moving, trying not to hit some people and two German shepherds in front of me. Memory gap...perhaps I woke up?

Dream3: In a store and have the feeling I have been here before. I want to pick up something I have ordered, but it looks like they couldn't deliver because they don't have my address. The old lady behind the counter takes out a piece of paper and shows me that the address is missing. As I am trying to fill out the address, it begins to change, but I am filling out a non-existent address anyways and that does not seem odd at all. I then see that they are selling a special tea to make you lucid. I am so happy they are finally selling those things and want to buy a pack. I also want to get a fancy facial lotion but become distracted, so I forget about it.

Fragment4: Another store, this time I am looking at coffee mugs, wondering whether to buy one. There is also a beautiful teapot and a guy is trying to pour water in the tea cup, but it doesn't quite work. One of us is actually biting the teapot, can't remember who it was.

Dream5: In something like a museum, similar to a place I have been before in another dream. It also resembles a bookstore and they are selling drawing materials, I wanted to buy these so that I can begin painting with color. Further ahead there are two guys wrestling. They are playing a strange game, as if they are anime characters, and one pretends to hurt the other and the other pretends he gets kicked in the butt. I think of how good they are at doing this whole thing, this requires a lot of skill.

A semi-familiar girl comes to me and wants me to be her partner in this strange game, but I can't do it, so I turn her down. She then takes out a napkin with something written on it. I just see the first few lines: DEILD and SxxEILD. So she is into lucid dreaming? I ask her what her nickname is, I am assuming she has a DV profile. She looks kind of offended and as if I have crossed some privacy line. She takes back the napkin and walks away.

Dream6 DILD, TOTM: I am with my friends and boyfriend and it looks like we are doing some laundry. We are inside some place maybe public laundry, maybe store, it is rather empty, just us there. We go out on the street and hail starts to fall. I also see some lightning. I then look at the sky and see some indescribable lights there. They take the form of many invisible airplanes. There is also some thunder-like sound. I tell my friends, " And you didn't believe about the end of the world, well here it is!". I look in the sky again, something like a small sun, looking menacing to me.

Strange things in the sky, I may be dreaming. I become aware. I still feel threatened, what if this is real? No, it's a dream! I tell myself. Ok, it's a dream, but this thing is in the sky, let me get out of there. I turn around the corner, and continue on my way but the dream begins to fade. I continue walking and start rubbing my hands, but I don't feel them so much and that worries me. They actually feel kind of numb (but not paralyzed). I see a DC woman and desperately try to cling with my mind to her, I ask her to help me, I try to engage her, but whatever she answers I can barely hear.

I think I may have quickly DEILDed at some point, but it was more like a mild dream fade and then back to the dream, no time in the void. I turn back and see that the thing in the sky is taking a lot of space now and it reminds me of the war of worlds machine. I turn my back and think that if I go far away from it, it may not notice me or just disappear. I continue on my way, it is of course a dead end street. I even stumble on some steps of this dead end street, shortly wondering how did I manage to do that? I begin climbing a fence and cross to where there are some houses. I enter one and find myself in the kitchen. I notice something interesting there, can't remember what. I go in the other room, and concentrate on a DC that is watching TV. " Tell me about the situation, what is going on with this thing outside?" I then remember that I don't need to stay here and want to change the scene.

There are now three DCs in the room. " I need to change the scene, will you help me?", I ask them. A very helpful and enthusiastic DC takes the initiative " Sure, I will help you, guide you, where do you want to be?" happily replies the man. I initially think "Angel Falls" but then I remember I wanted to finish TOTM first. So I glance at the floor and start looking for coal. I see a large black object and take a piece of it, but it turns into a backpack and the piece in my hand is useless. I turn to the DC woman on my left. " Quickly, give me a piece of coal" , she hands me a brown black pointy piece of a coal. I place it between my fingers and it feels like rubber. I begin pressing it and try to shape it into a diamond. I shortly close my eyes and the dream begins to fade. I am annoyed. " Turn to diamond, turn to diamond", I have to have positive expectations, I remind myself. I look into my hands and finally a diamond shaped crystal is there. The way it is faceted reminds me of a crystal glass my grandma had. Still holding the diamond in my hands I start thinking that I have everything I need to do the four-in-one task in this room with the DCs. Then the dream fades and so does my overall ability to concentrate.I wake up and head for the journal.



Comments: Wow! Finally got that diamond, not quite as I expected or planned the whole thing, but still... and with April almost over, I think it's time for me to relax and call it a month!

Edit: Wrote down this entry, everybody left and I decided to go back to bed because I felt tired. As usual I was taking my time relaxing in bed when bf decided to give me a call. I told him that I am tired of being woken up, and decided to get up since our guests will soon be back from their walk.

Lol! This whole situation is getting ridiculous, but then I have to ask myself "Perhaps this lack of sleep and constant disruption is keeping me on the edge while at the same allowing for some REM rebound to occur?" The truth is I have had 7 LDs since our guests arrived, so I probably should turn my coal complaining into a diamond gratefulness? Whatever the reason, thanks for the great month!

Had a number of vivid dreams but was lazy writing them down. It seems longer sleep time or WBTB is almost impossible during weekends with so many people around.

Total sleep time: 6.30hrs

Fragment1: I was in my hometown, in one of the parks. I was a healer girl, whatever that means. In front of me is Antonio Banderas, I am thinking about his eyes.

Fragment2: Classmates are looking for my high school teacher but can't find her

Fragment3: Back to my hometown, talking with my mom. She is expecting me to go out and meet my wild friend. I express some concerns about that. ( I meet him often in my dreams)

Fragment4: Some game-like list with 5 scenarios

Dream5: I am in our current place. My old landlord has left some note about a girl coming. This girl is now in our apartment and is using my hair dryer. It begins to smoke and I worry about that. She then intentionally breaks a wire and the hair dryer does not work any more. I become mad and begin beating her. My hands bounce back from her, I can't hurt her, she continues to irritate me so I continue pounding on her...

Woken up. We had a noisy breakfast. Guests went out for a walk. I tried to take advantage of the situation and went back to bed. I was drifting off when they came back. Put the headphones on, tried again. I was getting nicely numb and relaxed, watching a dreamlet about dreaming and recall, when one of them decided to knock on the door. Because my drifting away has been interrupted so many times, I feel super tired now.

Just a few more days....Then I will be meeting my parents in another town for a spontaneous get together *RC* We will be sharing the same room *RC*? My father snores like a tiger. I can't believe this isn't a dream, maybe it is. *RC*

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

After 3 nights of lucid marathon, it seems like my body needed to run the restore program so I got into very deep sleep tonight. I didn't wake up naturally or if I did I was most likely unconscious. It felt like I had spent more time in NREM sleep. When my WBTB alarm rang, I was so deeply asleep, I was wondering what the hell is going on. Decided I would rather sleep. Anyways, felt the sleep was very restorative. Here are some fragments I could recall.

Fragment1: An elevator and the shaft. I almost fall there, but luckily for me it is filled with junk so if I were to fall at least I wouldn't hurt myself. A girl from school that we used to mock appears near the elevator and reminds me of things we have done to her, but those things never happened in real life.

Dream2: I am in the place of a friend1, who now lives with his sister. On the TV screen is some version of an old favorite game of mine. The sister tells me it's a different game. I must leave the apartment and take some stuff which is mine. In a plastic bag with my two bottles they have put newspapers so that I throw the trash on my way out. I don't like their attitude so once I leave their apartment I take out all the newspaper trash from the bag and make a nice heap in front of their door.

The plastic bag is actually theirs and not mine? I take some stuff that belongs to his sister and his bottle of initially vodka, then white wine! I head home, but know my friend1 will be after me to get back his stuff. On my way home I see another friend who is hanging out with some young problem individuals. I am trying to run but I am so slow. Someone then pushes me from behind, so I actually speed a bit. I think it is my friend1 but it is some random DC with yellow jogging outfit. I soon see my friend1 is already on the street in front of me, he is not happy about the whole situation.

Lol, I really have to stop dream stealing things!

Fragment3: This was a very cool dream where I was communicating with a dog. Unfortunately, I don't remember much of it, just the feeling of being fascinated.

Our guests woke me up again, I spent about an hour trying to fall asleep, my mind was way too awake, and when I finally fell asleep I got into some WILD/OBE thing where I couldn’t move much.

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

HI dreamlet1: Some woman, her face was colored black with something like tar. She lives in the woods, in a hole under the trees. A scary story begins about the holes in the woods.

HI dreamlet2: I am an unknown street most likely in my home town, have different hairstyle

Dream3 WILD/OBE: I am in my hometown again, in front of me are my guests. I am looking at my hands, some blue pink ghost like double layer is also visible. My hands quickly stretch out, a familiar feeling, they stretch into infinity, space bends and the whole of me is quickly sucked forward. I also feel my dream body detaching. A short moment of darkness follows and then I find myself on our old balcony. It is dark, there is some light perhaps from the moon. I immediately notice my position and feel my dream body. Instead of my feet being on the floor of the balcony, my midsection is where the floor is and my feet are below it. Don’t feel the floor, I notice that my position and state is somewhat similar to when I sometimes meditate – I am physically sitting, but feel the rest of my body is standing. I decide not to pay too much attention to that because I have to stabilize. I run my fingers over the surface of the balcony, very realistic. Everything is rather clear, but I can’t move my legs. I try to but I can’t.

I decide that perhaps I should give my dream body some more time to adapt to the dream. I start rubbing my hands, now my elbows barely move! I decide to wait a bit, but black out for a second, then I am back to the dream still no improvement. I force my limbs to move, and I can feel a great force on them preventing them from moving. I try touching the wall again with my fingertips, but it doesn’t help. I look to my side, towards the end of the balcony and see many plants there, it looks like a small jungle, it is dark and there is a dark hole between the plants. Now, it is definitely not the time to expect something scary to come out of there, I tell myself. I try to be indifferent about it. I then notice that a song is playing “give me my love, give me my love”, a nice song, but then it gets stuck, the same part plays over and over again. I wake up.

Comments and Analysis: I was worried after waking up that I have finally managed to mess myself up and instead of having normal LDs, the more time I spend in the void, the more aware I become of my falling asleep and will begin to get stuck more in the middle. I really hope not! Now, I feel relaxed about the situation, but am sure I will be getting more experiences where I would need to remain calm.

The stretching hands and being pulled forward (not just the two bodies separating) experience plus ghost like layer is something I have seen before and I kind of relate to OBE types of experiences (if these can be differentiated from WILD). I can only say it is a different feeling altogether.

Such continuous dream paralysis is not something completely new, but the only memories I have of it are when I was a very young. I don’t remember getting stuck in the middle of a floor ever.

Some explantion why this happened: I am thinking that the longer time spent in WBTB, the more my mind is aware of my physical body. If I WBTB for 5 min, then I would transition to the dream much faster. An alternative explanation is that I am being increasingly aware of the void and this somehow affects me.

Future strategy: I really have to write a few key words on a piece of paper so that I don’t forget. 1. Patience and detachment. I didn’t panic today, but the situation could have been different. 2. Rubbing hands 3. Try zooming into something else or 4. Try floating up?

After two nights of involuntary sleep deprivation, I was really happy to get some decent sleep. Wasn’t really trying to lucid but got two DILDs as a bonus.

Total Sleep time: 8.30 hrs

Dream recall technique: wrote a few sentences and reviewed in mind; Dreams 2-6 were really one big dream chunk, but after the lucid my memory got really fragmented so I am missing the link between scenarios.

Dream1- DILD: I am in our old place (DS), my dad is talking about some old prosciutto, which he throws away. It is brownish dark in the room and there is a heavy storm outside. I feel as if the building is hanging in the air, the floor is swaying. I try to feel as stable as possible and wait the whole thing to be over, so I lay on the floor and observe the swaying motion. I must have fallen asleep…I find myself flying in the air. I know that I am dreaming now, I look below me, there is a game-like map, green fields with unnatural colors. I decide to take my time and do some flying, I go very high, then I feel some fear of heights, so I zoom-fly down. I am observing my reaction as I do this. The moment I reach a certain level of altitude, I get like a spasm on my back, which makes me want to fly lower. I find it entertaining and repeat this a few more times. Memory gap…Now, I am on the street and in front of me is a friend from school. This time she is behaving badly and is stepping on me with her shoe. I am still lucid, so I think I want to play with her. So she’s bad ah? I don’t care what she does to me, I will enjoy observing any unpleasant feeling, I will be detached. I feel some pressure-like pain and decide this is cool. I struggle a bit with her and overpower her, she is just staring at me now. But then, I feel that I can’t move my arms, they are twisted around, and I can’t fix that, there is some pain too. This is not fun anymore, so I decide it’s time to wake and DJ. I wake and write down some notes.

Dream2: Two Buddhist nuns are in the same room with me. One of them is a Swedish woman, who was a TV star when she was young, the other one is Asian and quite old. Some kind of lecture is about to take place. The nuns expect people to have read a particular brochure and ask questions. I have not prepared, so I will ask a practical question “How many hours a day do Buddhist monks meditate”. Less than the expected number of people enter the room, the lecture starts. For some reason, I don’t ask the question. Memory gap. The lecture is over and everybody goes out to perform a ritual, they are prostrating themselves, squatting in front of statue maybe of Shiva. I get confused about this, but imitate people nonetheless. I then remember that there were two lectures, one about Shiva, one with the Buddhist nuns. I chose the nuns I remember, at this point I see the image of something like a garden in front of a monastery I have been two about two months ago, in another dream. After I am finished with imitating others, I go back to the building.

Fragment3: In that building I am going back somewhere but the corridors are really narrow and there is a guy going in the opposite direction with some pillows. I finally manage to go in a room, where I meet a Russian guy. He tells me that I am his girlfriend now, and informs me what kind of expectations his dad has. While I want to be friends with the Russian guy, I tell him that I cannot possibly meet their expectations because I have a boyfriend.

Fragment4: I am moving by means of holding on to the rail tracks of a tram, travelling as they move.

Fragment5: I am on the street and there is a large white peacock flying in the sky! I observe it for quite a while until it lands. The sight is fascinating.

Dream6 - DILD: I am walking with a Chinese DC, she is explaining something about Chinese immigrants. We are about to enter some kind of mall/underground. There are many people there. I become lucid. The Chinese DCs guide me to a certain direction because it is so crowded. I notice a small screen with some kind of writing there. Five words, I read them out loud, a few times, they don’t change. I want to write this in my dream journal so I repeat this to myself and to nearby DCs many many times, until am sure I remember it. Out of the five words, I only remember the word “daily”. (what’s wrong with my lucid memory?) I really like reading stuff, so I guess I subconsciously summon more stuff to read, I see some poster and I concentrate on it. There is a mix of letters there, I try to read it out loud and laugh because it sounds absolutely ridiculous.

I decide to move on, but notice that the surroundings have changed while I was playing this little game. Now there are dark stairs going somewhere where I really don’t want to go. I want to have more light, I might have shouted something like “Light” but nothing happens. I want to change the scene, so I close my eyes for a while, despite the fact that I am a bit concerned it will all disconnect. I feel as if I haven’t physically moved from there, but the surroundings have changed, now this is like large underground parking lot. It is dark again, there are no people around, it feels creepy. I am pissed off because I don’t like this place! I hide behind a truck. I want to change the scene. What do I have to do, rub my hands? No, I shouldn’t do that! I can’t change the scene, I really have to read some more on that! I decide to wake up and maybe DEILD to another dream since I don’t want to stay here. I close my eyes, I want to disconnect. I am in the void, I also feel my legs, my physical legs. They are kind of paralysed, but I feel them submerged into some kind of electric thing, like electric water maybe, between my ankles and knee caps, I like that feeling and observe it with interest. It goes away and fall asleep to have a non-ld.

Dream7: Me and my guests are in a shower cabin. Two of us taking a shower, the third watching us outside the shower. This is the shower cabin of our guests and I have to clean it. They tell me that since I am cleaning the shower, I might as well clean the toilet seat as well. I wake up.

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Side notes:

- Did not RC or stabilize in both DILDs, they were stable and vivid

- Dream amnesia: did not remember TOTM, although I thought about DV when trying to read the letters

- LD dream recall: after browsing some dream journal notes of mine, I have noticed on some occasions my lucid memory deletes itself rather fast, and I remember some non-lucids in much more detail. Today’s lucids were very vivid and detailed, yet I forgot quite a lot. I think I have read in some DJs that other dreamers also forget some lucids, so that is not a new phenomenon. I wonder why that is.

-Changing the scene: I will have to read more about this because it seems that I can’t remember how or what to do. A reminder to myself- when trying to change the scene, try to picture where you want to be, not just close your eyes! (although closing the eyes kind of worked just the scene was unpleasant again)

Now that we are four people in our place, I was totally exhausted during the day and got little sleep during the night. For the first time in some 39 days I can say that I don' t remember any dreams at all.

HI: Shortly after falling sleep, I woke up with the image of a black cat with yellow eyes on my mind.

Sleep. Was woken up. Tried to fall asleep for an hour, but couldn't. Put my headphones on and listened to some music. Got a few HIs, a woman doing her nails, some trousers, etc. I was drifting away but then my boyfriend walked in the room and started talking to me.

Was the black cat an omen of the dreamless night?