Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

I may have been a prisoner, held underground against my will, but I was determined to make the most of it. There was a lot that could be learned from these people. The Accident forced them underground, away from the rest of society, but their isolation brought them together as a community. No outsider had ever been allowed into their secret world, and I felt honored to be among them, even if it was as their prisoner.

My first cellmate was a brilliant man. His mutation caused his brain to grow to tremendous size, until it was bursting out of his skull. With it came an intellect that caused him to be dangerous to the community. They locked him up, not knowing what to do with him. Unfortunately, they never had a chance to decide. The sirens started wailing, the earth trembled, and the ceiling of our cell exploded inward. I struggled to free myself from the rubble, and saw the creature attack my cellmate. It looked human until it opened it's horrible mutated mouth. The last thing I saw before I blacked out, was the monster tearing open my cellmate's head, and devoured his huge brain in one bite.

I came to, and crawled to the bloodied body of my cell mate. Surprisingly, he was still alive. He told me that his brain stem was also huge, so he could survive a while longer without the rest of his brain. He knew my secret. That the accident had mutated me into a Researcher, and he knew the true reason I was here. He gave me one final gift, and described what it was like to have his brain eaten. He said the monster drilled into his head with a spinning tooth, and floated his brain out like a fish in an aquarium suspended from the ceiling. I filed the story away in my DNA, and relaxed into a convulsion fit as I felt it change me.

I awoke in a room that looked like an indoor jungle. The canopy of hanging vines rustled, and I knew I was not alone. I moved to the door slowly and carefully. I did not want to draw the attention of whatever lived in the mess of vines and moss hanging from the ceiling. I reached for the cell door, knowing I was too late. The first creature leaped out of the canopy to cling to the wall just above the door. It was a green insect the size of a large dog. It had the head of a preying mantis, and the body of a raptor. Its exoskeleton crackled as it creeped along the wall, and I could see it's oozing green skin pulsing beneath the bony frame. It moved with surprising speed, and leaped towards my face. I reacted instinctually. I grabbed it by it's slimy insect head, and squeezed until I felt it's skull give way with a satisfying pop. More of the creatures surrounded me, and I fought them off with ease.

As I stood amongst the corpses, I knew my secret was out. I relaxed to let the insects' DNA enter mine, and wondered what the underground would do with me. The community would no longer be content holding me prisoner. They must have thought I was a spy from the surface, and put me in this cage to be eaten by the giant insects. Now they knew that I was not a human, but a mutant like them. It had been decades since the accident, and no one had been banished since the Cleansing. The damage had been more extensive than we imagined, and I was a sign that new mutations were starting to appear in the general population.

When I woke from my change, I was strapped to a gurney, propped upright in a lab. A team of white coated scientists were gathered in one corner of the room. One of them approached, and shined a bright light in my eye. My DNA responded, and my eye twisted into a reptile's and swelled to a monstrous size. The rest of my head followed, as my head stretched and scales sprouted from my skin. As my arms and legs grew, my leather bindings tore open like paper. Immediately, a high pitched siren exploded in my ears. It scrambled my brain. I started shape shifting uncontrollably. I flashed through several animals, before getting stuck as a baboon. I jumped towards the wall to escape, and melted right through the bricks.

I fell intoa lab filled with computer parts. A bald cyborg in a wheelchair was being pushed by a woman who I knew to be the leader of the underground people. She lifted the old cyborg man out of the chair, and into a new more powerful body. As soon as he took control of his new robot body, he went haywire. The sirens started blaring again. He started throwing lightning from his robot hands. Each bolt of lightning struck a mannequin and brought it to life. In seconds, he had an army of robot mannequins. They were stupid, but under his control. I knew I had to help stop him. I climbed into his discarded wheelchair, and felt myself shift. I could now control one mannequin at a time. I used my new subtle control to sabotage his army. They turned on him, and ripped him to robot pieces.

The queen of the underground people thanked me. She was impressed by my abilities. She had a partner who was painted green like the Incredible Hulk. She told me that if I could defeat him in one on one combat, I could join her team on a mission to invade the surface world. We began grappling, and I soon realized that the green man was no match for me. He was skinny, with painted on muscles. I pretended like he was stronger than he was, and faked the fight. I wanted to fit in, and didn't want to hurt his feelings. After a good show, I grabbed him with one hand and threw him easily through the brick wall.

I was introduced to my team, and we left for the surface. We exited through a hatch to the crowds of the sunny surface world. A group of people in green surrounded us, and started organizing into formation. We knew they were about to attack. As they circled, a member of my team rushed one of them. As he ran, I heard his gears grinding, and hydraulics hissing. I could see his mechanical frame moving beneath his false skin. He pulled a huge club from beneath his clothes, and hit one of the green shirted women directly in the chest. She collapsed, and her friends gathered around her to help. I now recognized them as a group of street performers and acrobats. I knew the leader from my old life on the surface.

The leader of the troop approached me in peace. He knelt down in the sand, and I leaned to see what he was doing. With his finger, he drew the outline of a door in the sand. He then pulled a key from his pocket, and inserted it into the sand. When he turned the key, the door opened like the entrance to a vault. Within the vault, was the explanation to the trick. There was a small air cannon buried in the ground that was set to blast out a puff of air to blow away the sand when the key was near.