Uncategorized

I think I am in New York City. I am outside of a somewhat smaller building that has at least two climbing walls attached to the exterior. There is a line (I think mostly of kids) for each. There are a few police officers that seem to be letting people in. I think I don’t really need to climb one, but end up doing so. I think everyone is trying for speed and I know that I could beat them due to my age and experience, so I just climb it regularly. I think I only have socks on. I also think there’s something about not thinking I’m on a rope, but then discovering I’m on an auto belay. Now, I am walking around the corner to deposit a check (or make a withdrawal or something similar). The building has older columns and a white stone staircase. I pass by a few sketchy people, then enter into a tiny room. There’s one other in here, a girl who seems to be friendly with the female bank teller. I have to sort of make my presence known. I now give her the slip and think I get it and a receipt back. I also think I did something wrong, since it’s been so long since I’ve done something like this, and have to go back.

I’m on a walk. I get to the edge of a driveway, where a Black man has met and is talking to a white, male police officer. I get the impression he has come down here so the officer won’t go on his property. Now, another Black man comes out and does the same thing. The officer leaves amicably and then the first man turns to me and starts handing me some cash, a few crisp bills. He has short hair and seems very genuine. I think it’s a few 20s and I don’t even know what it’s for, so I say no, I can’t take it. The second man, with shoulder length dreads and baggier clothes, tries doing the same, and I think I give in. I think at the beginning of this, I put on headphones to listen to a Tedeschi Trucks Band show (the song was ‘Laugh About It’ into a drum segment). The weather was cooler - I had pants and a long sleeve. I was walking on the right side of the roads [sic] as two girls were coming towards me. I noticed a car coming from behind them and from behind me as I had to go around them to the left, thinking it would leave very little room for the cars.




I’m walking into a store with Sage. I think it’s a reptile or animal store. On the left, I notice three tanks on stands that’ve been covered with a black film or cover. Two older ladies working here say hi and then I think profile or customer service me. This irritates me as we walk into a larger back room, Sage way ahead of me.




I’m on a walk and have ended up on what looks like a sandy hillside that overlooks a beach and the ocean? It is sunset and the thick and vivid layers of deep reds and oranges are absolutely beautiful. There is some kind of electronic trance music playing and it makes for a very ethereal moment. I’m now down on the beach and there are a bunch of people dancing to the music. The sunset is the background, but there are also strobe lights. I think I start dancing.





Granny has died, but I feel comforted knowing that she had the opportunity to say bye to everyone and also that she came to me in a dream (*this seemed very real, and I was recalling pretty much exactly our visit with her yesterday).

I am at home, but it seems like it is work. I think I am setting things up and/or setting up a sale outside. I think the customers are supposed to go around and not through the house; there is a sign. I am by the back door now, and there is a middle aged lady waiting outside of it. When I open it, she angrily and annoyingly complains about waiting or something similar. I feel frustrated and stressed that I’m the only one working, trying to do all of this.

I am in a convenience store with Melissa. We’re walking up to the registers, me with a giant bottle of Jack Daniels, her with a giant jug of some pink wine. A guy walks up to one of the empty registers to take us. He’s a little older than us and seems kind of shady. He keeps his head down and says nothing but “IDs.” We show ours; mine is fine, but apparently he has a problem with hers. He slides her a binder in which I think she has to write down a reference? She writes down “Daddi”, who I think is a real person. He then gives her another paper, i guess this one an acknowledgement that she’s not kidding around. She raises her eyebrows at it, slowly writing in big letters, ‘okay’ where her name should go. Now I think he’s making her do another reference. I think she writes ‘Victor’, who, again, I know is a real person. I take it out of her hands and shove it back to him, angrily saying something like ‘no, he’s a real fucking person.’ The guy is now off doing something else, and I watch him from the corner of my eye as I tear out, fold up, and slide into my pocket one of the sheets for a humorous keepsake. I don’t think Melissa wanted me to do it, but I adeptly did it with one hand and without getting caught. Now we are walking into Dad’s house for a get together. I put the Jack Daniels in the fridge, right at home among the other bottles of Brandy, Scotch, etc. I know everyone brought their own, and I feel jealous and somewhat regretful because I don’t even really like Jack Daniels. There are only a few people here so far. One is a lady with short blond hair who announces that she’s leaving really quick because something’s going on with her son. Now we’re sitting around a table, and they’ve made a drink out of the Jack Daniels. I think it has Red Bull and some kind of spice. I’m glad that they like it.

I am at work when I notice a man walk in without a mask. Though I don’t really want to, I walk over to tell him he needs one. He seems focused and on his way to something specific or is avoiding me. His expression is vacant and unchanging, his skin a mix between tan and dirty. I nicely tell him about the mask requirement, which he does not register or simply ignores. He simply looks past me, unhearing, with the resignation of someone with nothing to lose. It is fairly busy in here, and there’s at least one other without a mask. I have a small sense of helplessness.




I am outside somewhere with Lauren from work. It looks like a field/pasture - we’re by a chain-link? fence. Lauren is hunched over, deftly decapitating a human body with a small saw. I observe and then become repulsed.

Melissa and I are going to a Tool concert. I think we’ve done some acid, and when we approach the stadium (or it may be the giant stage) I get a strong visual. What looks like a wall of psychedelic flames spreads to each side from a geometrical center of different blues. It is impressive and awe inspiring. We are now finding our seats. They are both on an upper level, but they are not together. I say it shouldn’t be hard finding someone willing to switch. We are sitting together now. I think her mom or Sage’s mom is here. My seat is a corner where the row turns and is more like half of a seat. The first set is over now, and I haven’t felt any further effects from the LSD. Melissa apparently hasn’t either, so we both take more. The ‘acid’ seems to be a small tray of some baked food. We eat the grease at the bottom, and it proves more powerful. Shortly thereafter I am hit with a sudden change in my perception. We look at each other at the same time, eyes wide. After the show, we’re in a convenience store. Melissa shows me three lighters she’s buying. I guess the lighter fluid is the acid or is a component. She seems excited, but I can’t believe she’s getting three, thinking about how much that will make.

I am outside with some people from work. From where we are, we can see downtown. It is fairly far away, but close enough to make out one building from another. There is a sense of something happening or about to happen. I say ‘I want some action’ and then start to regret my words as what looks and sounds like fireworks starts going off among all the buildings. I realize they are not fireworks, but explosions, their thick grey clouds lingering. I think we’ll be safe out here, until I hear and see mini explosions approaching rapidly in a straight line. I see they are actually shots fired from a helicopter. They pass close enough that were the line of them a few feet closer they easily would’ve taken us out. Kyle from work casually says not to go downtown for a while. She says that the people there have guns and will be fighting back. I think Mom is downtown and I am flooded with worry, imagining all the carnage.




I am at what I think is Disneyland with Melissa and her mom. There is a tiny parking lot, an ‘L’ shape with maybe 12 spaces, where at least one person has parked between two spaces. I think I comment on this. Now I am parking a small motorized something that I stand upon. I reverse and nose back in a few times, trying to get it perfectly straight. Her mom tells me ‘that’s probably good.’ There is some dense green foliage around the lot and I think around a small body of water.

I’m going with Makayla to get her hair cut. We are at what looks like an apartment complex’s outdoor pool. There may be some others here. Makayla sits in a chair near the water, and it is Tess what shows up to cut her hair. I’m aware that my hair’s getting a little long, and I wonder if she'll trim it really quick. It doesn’t seem like she’s going to. I think my hair is quite longer than I ever keep it, maybe a few inches all around. It feels coarse.

I am in a bookstore (that looks pretty similar to Grassroots). I notice Susan Tedeschi in an area by a large window. She has a small group of people around her and is singing to them. Everyone is moving along to the music and having a good time, but I notice that a lot of the, Susan included, are frequently yawning (I also notice Seth from work). I know this isn’t because they’re bored, but because it’s late. Now, I think I am looking around and notice about six DVDs on an end cap. I grab one of the bottom ones; it is a House of Leaves movie that I’m not sure I knew existed. I think the front has a picture of a house, small and simple. The back has a picture of the house, I think from the other side, further away. In the foreground is a ‘woman’., I think back against a fence. Her head is definitely that of a human, but her body looks to be the body of a spider. It is proportionate, which is unsettling, I guess because it is something that should not be that exists so doubtlessly. I get the sense that the one half of her body is mirrored from the other. She is blond and though her face currently seems to be screaming or twisted in anguish, it is attractive. The whole image is tinted red and is subtly but acutely disturbing. There is a small group around me and one asks me to describe the plot of House of Leaves. I hesitate, not really wanting to, then give in. I say it is about a family that moves into a house, where everything goes fine until one day they discover a door that didn’t exist before. I seem to not remember much of the plot and leave it at this. My speech is slow and descriptive and more confident than I thought it’d be.




I’m outside somewhere (a beach?) with some people from work. Someone has asked me and Seth?to move some TV screens off of a table. This plastic folding table is very close to the water. We procrastinate until I see Rosy walking some people over here. I think they’re why they needed to be moved, so we do it really quick. I’m now sitting across from Lauren at a picnic style table. I’m cognizant of how we’re not ‘6 feet’ away. The background is of tall pine trees and a twilight? sky. An owl flies around; I lay down, extend my leg straight up, and try to get it to land on the bottom of my foot.

I am ascending some type of rock formation. It seems to be a tall (hundreds of feet?) spire of sedimentary rock. It is probably only ten feet or so wide. It definitely feels very vertical, yet there is a dirt path that leads up the thing. I hear voices nearing a pause. A group of two or so is coming down. The first is a paunchy older middle aged white man with shorts, maroon t-shirt, a mustache, and what looks like a safari hat. He is nonchalantly sliding down on his ass, bracing with hands and feet. He stops and begins telling us (I think there are about two others with me) a story. I think he is Doc Watson. He’s slightly below me, and I rest my left arm on a rocky protrusion jutting out from under some sand. Some displaced sand begins to fall off, taking more and more with it, falling down close to his face. I tell him to watch out, telling him it was my mistake for doing that. Now, enough sand has fallen away that the spot I needed to continue on has vanished. There is a large cavity now, encased by only stone, beyond which I see the ground vertiginously and frighteningly far below. It seems that the only routes left are to climb this cave roof (brave and perilous) or to mantle this stone above me. I test the holds, a slight edge, and a slight block, and they do not give me much confidence. I keep gripping and re-gripping until my hands sweat, causing me to slightly panic. I am acutely aware of the fact that if I fall I will die and so the only way to survive this is to not fall at any cost. There is now a girl, slightly younger than me and wearing black leggings and a grey shirt, on the rock slightly above me. She might have a harness on? Her underwear, a thin, black thong with thicker straps, is sticking up above the leggings, and I grab onto them like a hold. She has me go first, probably aware that this is going to expose her. Finally, we have summited this spire. The top of it is flat and maybe 20 or so feet across. There are a few artificial climbing walls. I think we’re about to start on them, but her grandma is here now and putting some cash in my left pocket for a gift card. I already have a similar amount of cash in there and wonder about it. There is a very slabby wall, a vertical one with a lot of crimps, and one with large, circular, inflated holds that must be for grip strength. They all seem easy and the walls are just barely taller than bouldering height. Looking past them, there seems to be no background, just an empty space/void. I now realize and dread that I have to go back down. I think of any other way, like getting picked up by a helicopter.




I am outside somewhere by or on a two lane asphalt highway. Suddenly the earth shakes - an earthquake, I realize. It’s steady in intensity, not enough to knock us off our feet, but enough to seemingly keep us magnetized down. It ruptures the highway in a fairly clean split.

I am walking on a path that is about to fork and incline up a hillside. I think Mom or someone else is with me. There are also two middle aged or younger women that have been walking fairly close to us. They start talking with us, asking if we think they can manage the uphill. They seem kind of sketchy to me, so I try to get them to take the path in the other direction. They end up choosing to do so, and I think it is so they don’t have to keep walking awkwardly close to us. On the uphill now, the path is narrow and sandy. I see the women walking off in the other direction and one is pulling a cart behind her, so I guess it’s good they didn’t come this way anyway.




I am outside somewhere with Melissa, and we’re walking up to some pizza place. The storefront has some windows - I see no door - and a stainless steel counter top. There are a few picnic style tables crowded together in the front, currently all full (I think with only men). The owner? is sitting among everyone, facing us, and I hear him call out for someone’s order. He has an air of being among everything in a perfectly friendly way while also being on top of all the operations. He seems shorter and rotund, shaven and with short but thick brown hair, and genial. He takes a pizza on a white paper plate and tosses it to someone like a frisbee. It nears the ground and then slows impossibly until the guy grabs it. We’re now sitting across from this guy at a high table. He is eating from a plate of something. There are a few, three?, beers brewed/served here, and I contemplate getting one. I think they’re all IPAs, which I’m not too thrilled about. The guy refers to one as ‘thickest/dankest’? and I decide that it does sound good. I offer to get him one, and he says something about not needing another, but says yes anyway. I can tell by his grin and behaviors that he is feeling it.

I am outside of some house, I think with Makayla. This house seems somewhat large and removed from everything else. We’re on the bank of a small, slow flowing river that reflects the sky and surrounding foliage. We notice what looks like the top of the head of a crocodile slowly drifting from one side to the other. I think Makayla wants to call someone about it. Now, we see that it is just the head, like it’s a fossil or something. I look at the reflections and think about coming out here to swim during sunrise. I go inside now - I think I’m staying here for some period of time. I go into a bathroom that seems to be one of the first rooms in here. I sit on the toilet - the only thing in here - and notice that the room is bigger than most bedrooms. The floor seems to be a light blue linoleum, and it stretches horizontally in relation to the toilet. There are three doors, to my left and right and behind me; all are open. I notice Melissa through the left one. She is sitting and slowly drops her bra strap to show me her boob. She then crawls over, naked, and I think tells me sexual things. I am naked too.

Outside in a parking lot there is what looks like a small carnival/festival tent over some seating. The tent is very low, only a few feet off the ground, causing me to wonder what kind of effect that has on the spread of the virus. I see that it’s a Brewer’s Cabinet ‘information’ tent - it’s spelled out in small light bulbs. They are serving tasters and I think it, with it being dim and nice outside, would be fun. I go into the main building though; it has a mostly light wood interior. I pass through two vestibule type spaces, each only big enough for a person or two. The first has greetings written in various neon colors all over. I think there’s also a menu that I largely pass over. The second space has the beer menu taking up at least two walls and also written in neon colors. There are a few gold winning beers at the top. Each beer is labeled with who brewed it; at the very bottom, this includes even the janitorial staff. I wonder about how good those are. I notice mostly IPAs, but a fair selection of others. At this point, someone comes over to take my order. I’m still looking, so she recommends a brown ale that you then email the brewer with what it tastes like. (I think it’s supposed to ‘taste like poop’?) I tell her no, look for a tiny bit longer, then end up picking it, I think just because a brown sounds good anyway. They tell me its 8.8% and 8 something else, maybe the price? I’m outside with the beer now. I try it and it’s smooth, kind of light, chocolatey, and pretty good. The glass seems somewhat small. I ask a passing server if they have chicken tenders and he chuckles and says not really because they’re so dry. (I think of the ones I got once at Claim Jumpers). I think Melissa is here now, and we’re sitting. There is quite a bit of seating. We put up an umbrella that is pretty structurally unsound.

I am outside somewhere - it feels like an outdoor shopping mall or a boardwalk. I’m walking to a restaurant when I see Alex and Daylen. They walk over and we talk for a bit. I go into the restaurant now, more of a counter service place (maybe a MyPie?). It seems dim and there is a long, double backed line of people, spaced apart by pieces of large white tape on the grey polished concrete floor. I notice that everyone in here is around 16-18 and immediately feel out of place. Despite their age, I can tell they are from this certain generation by the way they’re dressed and talking (*This reminds me of the barista last night that I thought was a pretty stereotypical example of the younger-than-me generation).




It seems really early in the morning (dawn or just before), and I’m walking up to some chain food place. I order two black hot coffees, just assuming Brittney is coming to meet me. When I text her, she says she’s already getting coffee somewhere. I finish mine, which actually has milk/flavor, and start on the other. The coffee is good for a place that doesn’t specialize in coffee.

I am outside and walking through a neighborhood with a few others. It seems like we’re doing something for a school assignment. We’re looking for a certain house and come up on one that I think is right because it looks familiar. The house is white with a light blue trim. It’s slightly downhill from the street and is placed horizontally on the lot. The garage is open, revealing all of the stuff inside that looks familiar. The number is something like 150105. I look on the map on my phone, and it shows us about halfway down this street. Looking to the left, I see that the street starts to incline somewhat significantly, telling them I don’t remember going uphill. I tell them I can also search Canvas to see if it’s the right one. I do so and don’t think I find anything. We end up deciding that it’s the right house. We go inside, and it’s kind of empty and dim. The others take an open riser staircase to the second floor. I stay back and then walk back to the front door. The owner has arrived - it’s David from Discology and his son. They’re walking up and I meet them at the glass sliding door. I don’t think much is said, and I guess he doesn’t find it weird that I’m in his house. I say something about the others, and I think he goes to look for them, using a flashlight. I think it is somewhat intense.




I’m at work and going on a break. I need to use the bathroom, and we have to use Sani Huts. they are scattered all around this parking lot, and I head for a line of them up against a fence. There is a handicapped one, which I take because it is larger, because it is not busy out here, and because there are more in case someone needs it. I am relieved when I step in and find it clean and without much of a scent. I use some toilet paper to put the seat down. I think I am just sitting on top of the seat now, and I notice a window in here. Through it, I see a bed, upon which sit several people. I notice two girls, a couple, what look very similar if not almost the same. They are reclined, tan, and naked from the waist up. Currently, each has her arms above her head, which gently lifts her breasts and perky nipples. They begin taking off each other’s underwear and kissing, so I take out my phone and start taking a video on Snapchat. I can’t believe I can see this from here and no one can see in. I briefly contemplate its potential. I end up in another Sani Hut now, and it has the same kind of window. This one seems to be at the end of a dirt road or parking lot. To the left is an old station wagon with an open back. There are one or two women and some kids (maybe on a sports team?) approaching it - it must be theirs. One of the women, Asian?, is wearing a Grateful Dead shirt I’ve never seen before. It’s black and is tasteful; it also looks like it could be homemade. I think it’s cool that she’s into them, I think because it’s a change from the typical white male. They all start getting into the back of the car, which has blankets and I think string lights. They start playing music and smoking weed out of a lightbulb. One guy, Asian, takes a quick but large hit. I know that I don’t smoke, but they seem to be having a great time, which is fine by me. Now, I’m walking out to the Sani Huts again. It is raining fairly hard, which I barely feel. I’m walking over the rocks in a median and notice it pooling up here as well as along the sides of the road.