StephL

To be continued later..
Maybe - happy to say - now I pulled myself together and dictated some stuff - I have a lot to journal - theoretically. I mean I did already - but writing down is an important second step - I know.
Ah well.

Important:
I got lucid - driving down in an open elevator - open to all sides, except down of course.
Through a forest.
Getting lucid was not only about bizarreness, though, I think - I simply felt that characteristic dream connectedness of me and my world - "something in the air", almost.
And I thought of wanting to get a stable 3D environment by moving and checking my frame of reference.
Having read something like this from The Cusp.
Well - it worked - buut.
First of all - super happy not to have lost a dream in frantic stabilization activity and getting indeed to running in a quite beautiful forest all 3D, and it felt like full immersion.
I really enjoyed it, and simply kept running for a minute maybe - and then I must have lost lucidity and also recall for that affair.
Next time I won't neglect the cognitive aspects of lucidity while running and 3D establishing.



Soo - too lazy to write zig pages - just this one dream-fragment (I do have the rest dream, though):

One scene was, that I made a break from riding a bike to somewhere, and went a bit into the forest, to be undisturbed in what I wanted to do. I found an interestingly shaped branch there - maybe 2 m long, devoid of bark and it looked as if washed smooth by drifting in water for a long time.
I planned on taking it for a friend, who likes interesting wood to carve it a bit more interesting.

Suddenly a pair of hikers turned up - and I tried to tell them, that it was not a way, where I was - that the way would be over there, and that they could break their ankles coming towards me.
I had climbed over some big roots and stones and it was steep there, too.

But they said - didn't you hear that scream, and that horrible loud sound?
I hadn't heard that - but once I climbed out of the under brush - one of my rather rare incidences of clear and even emotionally intense dream-bizarreness came about. The wood in the forest, but looking like from a beach was rather subliminal.

I looked at the sky, and there was a flying train - looming dangerously close over us, and we were afraid, it might come crashing down exactly on us.

But then it seemed logical, that it followed a sort of trail in the sky, when it made a sharp turn and came to land close to where we thought, Hamburg central station would be. A map of a supposed Hamburg appeared in my imagination - where it was divided in strips of different colour - that showed me this. Ah well.
So all in order, wasn't it?

The two people then complained about all the Bavarian tourists, and the fuss they would kick up - up to flying in per train ..
And I didn't get it - rather I was with them where the train had landed without "physically" getting there, and spoke some solace to an old Bavarian lady with traditional braided hair - she was intimidated by that sort of hostility.

One of the classical jumps in location - following the narrative and attention and not some sort of geography.

Maybe hypnosis has to do with it - but I caught a great WBTB time with naturally awakening after 6h and being pretty coordinated also - and that's very important for me.
So that I actually seriously lay down a bit for MILD and WILD try - this often doesn't quite pan out because I am too tired or too lazy or whatnot.

But this time again - I got lucid in the next dream. I stood as an adult in my old school and talked to a little girl - maybe 7 years old. I've been explaining maths to her (?) - anyway - I became fully lucid while continuing to talk to her.
Optical quality was really good, otherwise it didn't feel overly stable, though.

I will adapt my hypnosis script upon final translation to have certain in-dream things like stability and realistic feeling and whatnot in it.

I knew, I wanted at least a basic task - so I played the most stupid prank on her by just shouting booooh and jumping up and down and making faces.

She squeaked first and jumped a bit back, but then she started crying and quite bitterly.
I saw a mirror then, and looked at myself, and first I saw something like a really fierce human-bear-mix face.
Then the picture got unsharp and foggy while returning to rather human than bear - and I decided to leave that be, and went out to a sort of parking lot with pebbles, and some small plants were growing there.
Green bulbs - maybe 5 cm in height and they had a red star on top of them - almost like such fake cactus-flowers, pinned on.
I knelt down and tried to hypnotize or better stare them into magnificence - nope.
They just ignored me.
And I woke up.

Next time I will try other things - like telling them what to do, or pretend-remembering that it was just the time for them to go into seasonal transformation, or do some turning away from them.
Not just staring, in any case - I should know by now, that this just increases vividness and details..

My usual dream-signs – my usual ignorance and fail to detect them.

Again looking for a new flat – I had actually rented one and got the key – in Hamburg – never lived there. Nice flat, I really liked it. In the backyard was a low-down building, derelict. I like such places and wanted to go in explore, but it stank of urine and was full of ugly trash, like some nasty squatted houses do, just worse and it was nobody home.

I found two interesting plants in the backyard, though – big thick stalks and blossoms like trumpets – didn’t make me lucid, but I unearthed them and took them on my balcony.
When I wanted to come back there later – I couldn’t find the house any more.
I searched for it and found a house, a bit similar to the one, the flat was supposed to be in – the key worked, but it was a mistake. I was in a shared flat of several people, when entering, and a woman was in one room crying in her bed and asking, what I wanted there. So I left.

Then it was somehow so, that I had to search for yet another flat, since the nice one was too far away from university. I visited one, where when I looked out of the window – I first thought the whole piece of garden would be filled with manure – just to be told and then also see that is was instead a pile of sausages – also filled gut things – don’t know the English words for the affair.
I was a bit alienated, but looked at the rest of the flat – they said I could take from the sausages, and I found that sort of nice for a moment.

It turned out, though, that I was meant to live with an old couple together in that flat, and the former inhabitant had decorated a room with letters and stuff, like a kid would, leaving the people, where she stayed for a school-exchange, and that the couple expected me to live like that with them – like a kid. I said no thanks to that, and they got angry with me – I was pretty nasty to them then – but so were they.

There was also a sort of inter-cultural conflict going – Hamburg had for a while turned into a holiday resort place, where the dark-skinned inhabitants were rising up against the sinful holidayers, lots of police around. And I had for some reason taken off clothes and wanted to put on something else.
This worked fast enough not to be noticed by the moral apostles shouting in the streets.
Connected to this was a photo-shooting with models in bath suits at the beach.

Another aspect was me being on a long bus ride with many people – full bus – and we were sleeping in it, too. Later it turned out, that the bus driver made detours in order to charge more.
There was a fragment, where I had no money – none – and absolutely no idea, how I could get at some before like starving.
Thought about sitting down on the pavement and begging for getting a bit of money for a cake – but something other happened then.

And – I found myself in the kitchen of the house, I dream of second most frequently – of that ex’s parents. I was in the kitchen frying potatoes in a pan and then decided I wasn’t hungry and made myself a cup of milk-coffee.

Another episode, where it came to me, why one guy from back in school was nasty to me in the dream – that he had wanted something from me before, and was disappointed now.
Funnily – that has some actual bearing on reality back then – but I didn’t see that guy for ages. We had fallen out - and it might really have been down to that back then.

Load of crap – but I feel the more I journal – the more I remember the next night.

One dream was, that a friend of mine invited me to come with her to a job, which would bring a lot of money, but it was something physical and outdoors and you had to dress warmly.
There were so many people at the gathering place - somebody said, our group would go somewhere else for another job.
This entailed sitting in the basement of a shopping-centre on long tables with a lot of other people - maybe even only women, not sure.

And it was handicraft - we were making/repairing Easter decorations - I had to fix new candles into some places, where old ones had burned down, which - typical dream - was pretty difficult.
In the end I switched and went about painting flowers - TOTM overspill, I'm pretty sure - so I painted unusual flowers on pieces of wood. Na well.

Then there is a fragment, where I'm with an ex-boyfriend from my youth at a frozen mountain lake.
He doesn't want me to go out - it's not completely safe, I could also see that.
But I went - bit also to daunt him - nothing happened, but I had to go back at one point, because cracks began to appear. No hectic or fear connected, though - I knew, I'd make it back safely.

Another fragment was being in my old childhood room, which I loved, and exactly at the right time, when the evening light would shine through my windows in a most beautiful golden way.
Bit more about me trying to get rid of some nasty furniture that had been stored there and properly moving back in.

When that dream ended - I had a mini-lucid moment, but no optics any more suddenly.
So I jumped in the air, like I usually do it, when lucid - and I had for a little moment the feeling of hovering. I stared into nothingness, hoping for a dream - but unfortunately I woke up then.

There was one more episode, where I went to university with two male friends of mine, and one of them said, women should undergo special tests before they enter - because most of them wouldn't actually do anything with their valuable (also financially) high education, but work as plaything manufacturers.
I swallowed - was after that job episode above..

I planned to use my I-Phone for dictating - battery empty - and instead of using pen and paper - I thought, I'd remember it for later. Most of it gone.

Almost got lucid when I thought about how I was in the same, quite unique position before, to have to do my school end-exams once more for some reason.

I have been doing lots of mischief - making fun of teachers and generally not caring - feeling I know the stuff anyway. But then it came to my mind, that in two subjects - I wasn't at school for exams, and I could get a dangerous grade for passing the whole thing. One of the subjects was religion of all things - I went off that to "Ethics" back in reality and back then.
Nope - an exam was coming up and I realized to my chagrin, that the others had about 2 cm high of paperwork to prepare with.
Luckily a classmate of mine - I even shortly wondered and then remembered, that he was Lutheran like I used to be - gave me his assorted stuff, which was even more and cunningly fixed together - some sort of staircase binding - had to draw that, to explain.

So then I went out - first for a toilet - again!!
Then to the copy machine.
And I saw from the corner of my eye, that high up on a cabinet was a collection of maybe 150 plastic Smurphs. Delighted, I started collecting them together and presenting my find to the others.
There was a conflict with one of my oldest friends - it turned out, she was a bit out of her mind, because something awful had happened to her - forgot what - and so I forgave her the nastiness, she had shown towards me as a sort of reaction to that.

Somewhere my mother was involved - and I remember a pattern of a white plane with irregular holes in it - that was in some way significant to solve a problem.

And one more episode of me moving out of a darkish flat and having to pack up everything - while always something more was left. There was a partner with me in that - forgot what else.
Oh yeah - and somehow I had to go to university and the transit from where I lived to there was incredibly long.

That's it - while waking up in the night and for the day - I had a lot more.

Right - I'm a bit active again with trying to LD - did two hypnosis sessions, but only in English - and I do the cvsmehden exercises as well - took it up again.
I also did a WBTB with peppermint tea - but much too short - I was too tired to give it an honest longer try to WILD and just rolled over, without proper MILD or mantras.
So - what do I need?
More RCs, esp. every time I go to the bathroom, see below.
Translate the hypnosis-script - I have a bit of a hard time to read out loud in English and at the same time letting it trickle into my mind.
But again - the intro stuff and relaxation seemed to work.

What I completely neglected, though, is DJing - so here I am - writing trivialities:

I woke up in a huge bed with a guy, I knew, and the bed filled almost the whole room.
Somehow I remembered, that we would be new in a shared flat of students, and I worried if I did the dishes - which I did. For some reason I met up with my mother - and through the window we could see the new partner of her with a little girl, and we both tried to remember whom he resembled.
Now I know - he looked like a step-father of mine when I was the age of that girl.

I complimented her on how beautifully she was dressed - she was - with skirts, which are not exactly modern any more - but looking great (wide bell shaped skirts with tartans).
We went shopping - she looked for clothes and I went to the men's perfume section and smelled different scents - was nice - all a bit too male for me - but I only use men's scents irl, too.

Later we were in a supposed university - she came with me out through a door, to be company for me smoking - beautiful nature outside - old trees, a bit wild everything - a weird circle and other objects were there made from branches at trees nearby - like in True Detective - but without nasty connotations.

I didn't have ciggies - she gave me money to get some and disappeared somewhere.
On the way to get some - I got an urge to use the toilet - went in - it was full and some were out of order - once I got one - I couldn't close it - a nasty cleaning-staff woman said, I needed a pass for using the facility and seemed angry I even existed in the building.
So I had to get back out and woke up - and - of course I didn't need a toilet then after thinking I did for a little while.
Damn dream-killer-urge!!