dream fragment

I have markedly more recall then usual - and - I am probably too lazy to explain, where all the stuff is connected to inputs/outputs/experiences from yesterday - but loads.
Maybe I make this: * whereever I see connections.

First Dream:

I was in a club with my husband - a punk band was playing and people jumping about doing pogo.
When I wanted to the bar - I threw myself into that and got pogo-danced to my destination - was the only way to get somewhere.
We met a girl later, who told us, she got thrown out of a squat by the police - but dream-logically - went with us to show us the place. Somehow she had gotten it back, because it was so loud there, nobody wanted to rent it.
It was a really nice little one-room affair and she had a high-bed* platform installed almost over the whole room.
I was also looking for a flat in that expensive city - and thought - why not such a thing, not directly at a big street - but the size would be okay.

On the way to our small hotel - I lost sight of my husband and searched the streets - but I found him back.


Second Dream*:

I was visiting a friend and her family - rather her and her children.
And I had given as a present to one very young girl a box with something like Lego.
She had been somewhere to play with it with others and their sets - but being so young - the mother had gotten her home earlier than the whole children-play-meeting ended.
I convinced her, that in actuality - there had been no reason to take her home so early - she was a bit unhappy.
But she also had gotten a pair of some sort of rodents - they also looked a bit like finches - and we played with them - the mother had a book about what to do with them/how to care for them.
This whole dream got to do with Alric´s Santa thread..


Third Dream:

I was on my way home - and saw about 30 children in FDJ-uniforms (former DDR/east Germany youth organisation - I am from the west, though) being marched by a militarily dressed and behaving woman from a house on a hill into the streets.
They all had small posters, on which there was advertisement to smoke tobacco and drink alcohol.
Didn't even make sense to me in my dream..
Maybe a missed opportunity for RCing.
Then my bike broke down - I tried to repair it - and hurt myself and was dirty from that already - when I decided to take the subway.
Now it got really nasty - once I went down the stairs - it was a horizontal shaft, where I only could rob on my stomach.
And worse yet - there was about 10 cm of really horribly stinking old urine* standing in that tunnel.
The rationalisation then was, that it was not the subway, but some sort of public toilet.
I didn't have any strength left to rob towards the light.
Luckily I woke up.
Just as one aside here - reading The Lies Of Locke Lamorra at the moment - where somebody gets put in a barrel with horse-urine to drown in - which he doesn't - but anyway.


Fourth Dream:

Once more at the house of the parents of my first boyfriend.
This time - another guy was the one, on whom the constant blame was cast - and rightly so - he just lived there uninvited and constantly nagged for money and help, because he was supposedly orphaned - but he was in his 20s - and from Poland, and couldn´t go back and lalala.
There were several episodes - one was the family and me playing solving optical puzzles - there were cards, which supposedly belonged in a certain order - and one should stick them together as they fit.
This was very difficult - always, when we thought, we got something - there was a little mismatch somewhere.
The geometry of this is hard to explain - like a card-house a bit - but with slots..
And the prize for just putting together something was getting a good coffee from the new maschine.
Mistake - and you got only sugared milk* instead .. (*got that yesterday - hubby not getting along with the new espresso-machine of his parents..).
There was an episode, where I found out, my ex would love freckles in girls - and I have 3 and a half myself in summer - but I found a lotion, which promised to produce more of them.
I didn´t use it though - afraid to look like an idiot.
When the mom said at another point - this Polish guy would be a pest - but having me around would be neutral - but nothing nice either - I went out to pick her some flowers.
Suddenly my ex was also there - and he showed me a hedge where hundreds if not thousands of poison dart frogs were meeting to find a partner - in all colours - it was beautiful!!
Later we also met a friendly dog the size of an elephant being walked on the sidewalk.


There is actually much more - I´m lazy writing.
I will add two fragments later on.

Somehow, I didn't care much about recall lately - meaning I didn't mantra on it or anything.
But yesterday I thought - come on - you can do better than that - and just told myself so before sleep.
It might sound as if I wanted to brag - but honestly - I do next to nothing in the moment - maybe one RC a day and some affirmations when lying in bed before sleeping..

Memorable was the sight of these frogs:

Maybe something more shows up - but rather not - I´ll put a number in anyway..
Didn´t dictate - didn´t sleep well - was a bit under the weather..

1.) Fragment:

I sit in a laboratory with three guys all in white-coats, and there was an experiment going on, about brain-chemistry.
And they didn´t know about LD - and I started telling them - one was not impressed - but I tried to motivate the other two to do an experiment like that one, we did - but with lucidity - in rats - ah well.

First Fragment:

I was on the forum - first just normally - later it was like a multi-skype with people having animated talking avatars. Waking Nomad had a project, which was very important to him - and he somehow travelled the pages - there were more and more pages - like he went for a walk to try and convince people to take part in it. But it wasn´t his real remote-viewing experiment but something other.
Unfortunately I only remember this as a bunch of mini-fragments/pictures.
But he changed from his avatar to the picture of him, I had seen on here.
Saying - he "walked" over the pages - that does not really describe it properly - these pages had weird properties - I am not clear enough in my memory to describe it better.


Second Fragment:

I was on holiday with my husband at a beach and playing shuttlecock - and I remember to want to convince him, to put a shirt on - because he had a pretty bad sunburn on his shoulders.
But he wouldn´t - saying he doesn´t feel anything.


First Dream:

I am at a darts-competition to play an important match, for which I had been practising for for ages - and was quite good.
When it was about to start - my darts were gone.
I went around to look, if somebody can lend me theirs - after having searched all over the place.
There was audience - like in the huge championships - and they were booing and getting impatient..
Finally I got three darts - but all different shape and weight.
For some reason this made me decide to not throw all at treble 20 for scoring - but one there, one treble 19 and one treble 18.
First throw - hit them all.
Other guy - 180.
Next I couldn´t throw them - all out of the scoring area..
Guy hits next 180 - I am throwing some crap - but so does he, and somehow I ended up winning the leg - and that was then suddenly all there was to the match.
Weirdest thing - I had to give these darts back and searched for the owners to do this - didn´t find any owners - and then didn´t find the place, where I would have gotten the trophy.
Woke up before I found any of this..

Dream:

I was sick in some way in the dream as well - like upon waking up.
Especially I was not able to talk - true, couldn´t almost any more after two phone-calls.
But in some way - this was a reason not to go to our old house, where my mother lived.

I wanted to get a book, which in the dream I had read twice before, and wasn´t sure, if it was worth working through once more. It was in that house.
I wanted to then maybe read it somewhere else - at a friend´s place.
Trying to evade my mother.

But in the end, I climbed in over the balcony - she was there, petting an enormous, lovely dog.
Was no problem, that I sneaked in - talked with her - and took the book with me.
Didn´t get to read it, though.

Again - old house went unnoticed - even "decorated" with my mother.


Fragment:

With this friend from the last dream - I was going out in the evening - all dressed up - and we went into the bar of a famous, huge hotel.
Watching the ongoings and talking about people - both looking for somebody worth taking up contact with - no such luck.

There is so much to write - I will do it in chunks over the day.
Even more than the below - but I leave it at a dream and a fragment - forgot what I had dictated.

An earlier dream:
I was in a lecture on dream-content and real life connections.
It was possible to watch other persons dreams - also my own ones.
But in the end it was about a supposedly very famous case of - on the one hand mental disorder - on the other hand manifesting things from his dreams in the real world.
Funny, now I got to think about Mylynes tutorial..
But he calls it hallucination - in my dream it was manifestation.

An earlier fragment:
Sitting with a friend of mine in a café she knows the owner of and eating lots of delicious cakes with cream.
There is a beautiful girl next table over - but somehow we know, her boyfriend will not come - leave her like that altogether - and we talked about that.


The dream:
I did a WBTB after 7+ hours of falling asleep - trying WILD a la Sageous.
Almost worked - at one point I felt myself slipping in some weird bodily way and saw maybe 10 light-points on the back of my eye-lids - and that startled me awake.
Aha!
Got to tell Sageous - fell into the trap he so much tries people to warn of..
Naja - after it was clear I was too awake - also with frustration - I rolled over and slept.

The following dream had me - luckily! - at that house of my first boyfriend´s parents again.
The usual business - if you want to look for the non-lucid part of it - just read back some nights - and you get the picture.
I came to hate these weird dreams lately.
This time the thought popped into my mind - like hm - I dream of this sometimes.
Then it almost went like my last posted miss in the "most stupid way.." - I "concluded" - but it must be real - I am here after all!

This time I RCed anyway.
I had lucids, where it was obvious from the onset - but this again was one, where I did about 5 RCs before believing it.
I keep suspecting that I cheat on the nose-plug - but the finger-counting seems very reliable.
Yepp - lucid!

I hovered a bit and looked at things - trying to change objects for the competition.
But it didn´t work at all - what I looked at fiercely - just got more detailed and clear and more beautiful - but didn´t change.
That was a bit frustrating - I also tried it on the younger brother - but that ended up otherwise.
No dream-sex as such, not even touching each other - but lets say - we were on about it on our owns.
But didn´t work completely - rather I felt excited for a while afterwards - sort of didn´t get rid of it.
Maybe I edit this out later - but why actually not write it.
What I keep out of here are rather conflicts or situations too close to my personality/real life concerns.

Naja - I made fun of everybody without feeling guilty (the mother, the brother, some visitor) - or maybe it is better to say - I made a joke out of myself with "outrageous behaviour".

Then I left the flat - I didn´t think of TOTMs the whole dream - but I did think about the comp.
Maybe because I didn´t manage that change-stuff - and this was the next and such only goal.
Outside I started flying about normally - and came down on the roof of an abandoned train-wagon.

Then it came to my mind to try flying superwoman style.
Took my right arm up and at a steep angle - well - and wasn´t prepared at all for what I "expected".
I shot up at that angle in an absolutely mind-boggling speed - in one blink - I was so high, I almost couldn´t discern features on the ground any more.
I believe I squealed and wailed and was absolutely terrified..
Even worse almost - having to decide and take that arm down and expecting not to fall - in less than a second - but I managed to float down.

I met a friend of mine then - in front of her door - we went up into her room, talked a bit - I forgot to tell her I was dreaming and see what she says - I just pretended to be normal.
When she left the room for some reason - I tried to change her jewellery on a shelf - again - stuff got more sparkly and intricate - but didn´t change.

After quite a lot of effort - I thought - ah well - I do it with looking away and expecting sweets instead of a pendant - this worked!
It was chocolate with metallic-looking wrapping - I unwrapped it and ate it.
Even tasted like chocolate - but not very intensely - and again - it was a bit difficult to feel it in my mouth. Forgot counting eating for the comp..

I was again outside after that, from where I woke up - but I can´t remember any thing at the moment about what that was.

After 8 h WBTB - maybe 10 min. SSILD-activities - these made me tired and want to roll over.


First dream:
What resulted was a very vivid dream - started nicely with being hiking in the summer with a group of friends - we made a pause at a cottage to eat and drink something. But first I was missing my cigarettes - then also mobile phone and purse.

We suspected a woman, who had behaved weirdly and turned her eyes away when looked at.
So a friend of mine helped me nail her down - like managed against her will to look into her bag - and there the cigarettes were.
And I saw something, which looked like another purse of mine than the one, I was looking for.

I left it be - but later, considering the cell-phone - I wanted to catch up with her, to look again.
I knew at that point, that she lived in the same house where I lived - just one story below.
There was only her kid - telling me, his parents would be at the gynaecologist.

So I went there - confronted her - and against even physical hassling from her husband - I got my phone and purse back, and left the practice.
This was all in front of the other patients/their partners.

On returning home - the story had seemingly gone on without me - and the janitor of the house had called the police about it.
This husband would have been violent again and was shot dead - lying on a stretcher - with a law medical examiner - who by the way had made an x-ray (in our flat - wtf??) - he showed it to me - and again there was a fixateure interne in his spine (like in mine some dreams back).
This whole thing somehow lead to a general police alert all over the city - and throngs of police were holding a meeting in a big railway-station hall - really huge.

Second dream:
Like so often I was in search for a flat - and was with several other interested people looking at a weird longish flat with glass roof.
It looked like some train-department with 70s-style rounded windows rimmed in red etc.
But then the real-estate-guy took a remote control - and the roof folded away - so you could make the whole flat open to the sky.

Later I was test- sitting on a high-bench maybe 50 cm deep but around 4-5 meters up.
Now comes the mad part - I got lucid from the fact, that I was afraid of that height.
Even sitting there safe and all - I had such a visceral fear - and I couldn´t overcome it - looking at the side of that bench, and considering climbing down made me almost sick.

Now in real life - I have almost no fear of any heights - going rock-climbing in the mountains sometimes.

So - I went for nose-plug - questioning this reaction - yepp - I was able to breathe.
But like once before - I had the feeling, I might subconsciously be cheating - like not really holding the nose completely closed or whatever.

So I took my hands up to look - and again - they looked all right at first - just a bit blurry - but that didn´t convince me - when I started counting fingers, though - it seemed my hand was sprouting fingers as I went - they even bifurcated.
But somehow, I wasn´t as lucid as I used to be two weeks back with easy fearless flying.
I climbed down that thing..

Unfortunately - I didn´t first change something or somebody - but did basic summoning then.
My comp tasks are first object/DC change - and then summoning.
I was sitting on the ground - and expecting somebody coming round the corner.
Instantly something dark moved about there - but I willed a guy to come around because I was in a certain mood ..ähämmm.
He did come around the corner - was naked and inspiring - but we didn´t touch.
Mixing stuff up - I stupidly first asked for a present - and got a cat-reaction (when I asked a cat last month, what she was thankful for - she looked disdainfully and stalked off).
He shook his head and went back around that corner.

I woke up shortly - and right back into a lucid dream - so DEILD.

Third dream:
I was standing outside at the border of a meadow with many trees.
And I had to RC several times again - not high lucidity, but high realism.
After that - I had nicely stabilized by hand rubbing and inspecting things closely.

So I thought - meanwhile pretty clearly - lets make that snowman.
I saw a birch or otherwise white-branched tree - and convinced myself of that being snow - and it snowing back there.
I think, I get the hang of that firmly expecting stuff.
Instantly it started snowing everywhere and strongly, and there was snow on the ground, which didn´t first have to pile up like last time.
This second time around was so much faster and better.
I am really surprised how much practice seems to really help with specific things.
So I knelt down - felt the snow very realistic again - and made a small ball - maybe 20 cm diameter only.
It didn´t really easily want to stick together, by the way.
And then the damnated real life doorbell rang!!

Now I get angry at this quite a bit - but I took it unusually mellow and didn´t rip anybody´s head off, when it happened.


Fragment one:
There was a physics experiment with a complicated installation and it was about, if my emotional state could influence the flow of electricity - and there was something, to make the flow visible.
And I could change that - what it read/showed.
But later it was found out, that I didn´t really change the flow - only what we all saw as a read-out.


Fragment two:
I was listening with a group to somebody recommending vacations, and what you could do there and there.
Strangely - it was also about lying in the sun - and the recommendation was to do sunbathing at a lake - but when at the sea - he said, one could then at least sun-bath in the forests close to the sea..??

Very late in bed and stone-tired - not motivated to WBTB or properly journal with my micro.
But what is nice, is that some parts and pieces show up in my mind on their own - will later try to squeeze out some more from my brain.

One dream:
Again (ffs!) I am at this house, I am never wanted at - of the parents of my first boyfriend.
But again - we were much older.
In this dream - there was a snippet, where I wanted to use the toilet, and it wasn´t locked - I even looked, if it showed red (it was such a door). It wasn´t - I opened the door a bit - and got it slammed back closed by the irate mother - assuming, I did that on purpose - and giving me a piece of her mind, so to speak.
These dreams are full of silly crap..
There never is much interaction with him - it is mainly conflicts with his parents - esp. the mother.
And in each dream of the five I have on here now - every time, I "did something wrong" - and got expelled more or less nicely - actually every time it is something new I did wrong.
This time - again winter, again x-mas time - I was there for visit - but when then the big family walk after food was being walked - I asked my ex, what would be the problem - why she would be so hostile.
And he said, it is because she disapproves of me having an affair with him, while he also has a girlfriend.
This was true then - even when I am pretty sure, it wasn´t before we went out - just "a friend" back then I believe.

A fragment:
I took a walk through a forest with very dark trees - without leaves - but many branches being a bit meandering - even contorted. I was walking on a high pass - I could look down a rather steep decline to the right through the trees - and next to that decline started agricultural fields with some sort of grain being grown there.
But maybe 4 meters broad stretch with trees between me and that decline.
It was dark from all the branches in that place I was in - and below it was "daylight".

I went to bed late - woke up only 2 h later - and had no recall - didn´t try very hard.
Seven hours after falling asleep - I did my WBTB.
Reading through my workbooks - I found out, that the successful tries were all rather late - misleading, that I had put alarms earlier - but did the actual attempts later.
Good that I kept book with this.

I remember two dreams from before, one older fragment - and the dream, that made me lucid.
Again I had given up on WILD - with RC this time - not a FA - rolled over and fell asleep.

That dream was again situated at my old school - but I was grown up - like my friends - and we were organizing an exhibition of what we were doing now - it later changed into mainly an art/handicraft/invention show.
I was going outside on the school yard - and noticed, that I was naked - two attractive young beaus close - after a short shame reaction and flight reflex - I suddenly realized that noo way I would be naked there!!

Copy-Paste from TOTM:

Originally Posted by StephL

Soo happy - 7 days nothing - and now I even managed a task!
Also the "harder" basic one.



Bit weird - I had be-mantra-ed and visualized and so on - my most frequent dream-signs in the day - and also put intent on all but that task.
What made me lucid, was ironically one of my dream-signs, which I hadn´t worked on: being naked in public.
I thought - noo way would I be naked here - bam!

Was obvious - needed no RCing - buut: I did the hand-looking again - and first I thought - wow - they are perfect from the get-go - no need for staring them sharp - but when I counted fingers - I had one more on the right hand!
Now I´m not sure, if it was because I expected it or not - but it was an interesting sight.

And then - an attractive guy, who was standing there with a friend - came up to me - hugged me, lifted me and started swirling me around.
That´s when I closed my eyes - spontaneously - and remembered the task - and kept them closed and counted.
All the while being hugged and swirled, which felt wonderful.
And when I opened them - he put me down - and there was still the dream - so I guess it counts - even if I woke up maybe only some seconds afterwards..?
This eye-closing can be great, if you have something to feel!!


Soo happy, it started working again!!

Earlier Dream 1:

Again a journey with a bus (not that I would have ever done a lot of these - in school/in my youth latest).
Me and a group of maybe ten more people were staying at hotel, which was almost empty - and had for some reason two staircases next to each other - some weird spatial relations - can´t really it picture any more - only a bit.
We had been staying there - but in far apart rooms - and most of these rooms didn´t even have furniture besides a mattress and some junk - but there was a breakfast room, where we met up - all a bit over plush and baroque-style there - lots of velvet and diamond-knurling (looked it up..).
When the bus was about to depart - I had to use the toilet super-urgently - and hunted through this building for a facility. Finally decided on an unorthodox one - and got caught of course.
But I managed to keep her from telling somebody else and making stress.
Then of course - the bus was gone - but I found it after some back and forth around the corner.
And we departed - home actually it was to.

Earlier Dream 2:

I had to lead a discussion and brainstorming group - and nobody wanted to contribute - and it was not on me, to do it myself.
So I thought, how I could lure them out.
I tried to plant some ideas, but making them think, they would be theirs - and be in the mood to follow them.
This worked quite nicely - until one woman stood up and kicked up a general fuss - accusing me of this - and making it sound as if I would brain-wash people.
But then she got going, and came up with tons of ideas of the sort, that was useful.
The others only looked on - and me and her ended up in agreement.
So sad, I forgot, what it was about.

Earlier Fragment:

Doing removals again - this time not from free choice and after my will - but I had to.
Needing to find a new job.
It was stress and I felt, it was my fault how it came to pass.

I had my usual Friday with a lot of darts-throwing and jolliness - later somebody came along with a bottle of very fine whiskey - lets say, I found my bed around 3 or 4 in the morning.
I didn´t even seriously expect myself to do journalling - and I didn´t dictate anything.
Getting up - I thought I had exactly zip and zero recall.

But interestingly - I can drag something up now!
I sat down with eyes closed - and really probed into the void - checking on associations with my dream-signs.

What happened were pictures coming up - and with a lot of concentration and visualisation - small scenes to go with them, too.


First Fragment:

I am on the terrace of our old house - it has altogether 4 poles going up on the front - to support the front of the balcony.
All balcony-railing and these poles and also a lot of the space between them are entwined by climbing plants.
Much more than it used to be in real life - and instead of wild wine grapes - it was a plant with violet trumpet-blossoms - maybe 15 cm long.
I asked my grandmother, what it was - and she said, that every so and so many years - the wild wine would sprout these, and that one could eat them, and that they would be delicious.
For some reason I didn´t try one out - or I can´t remember it..


Second Fragment:

From the same dream, I think, but it was winter - and I was searching for the fir-tree, which had been planted for me the year I was born (irl).
But the house and garden were not there - and I checked some fir-trees around, and decided, mine was one, that was standing just outside a fence to another garden - towards the street.
And was maybe 6 m tall.
It could actually be that big, I guess, if it still existed.


Third Fragment:

From another dream - I was in an empty flat with big windows - in the company of that Swiss friend, I dreamt about the night before.
And we could see a high-rise-building from there - it had a core, and around it a glass front, through which we could watch the ongoings.
Between glass front and core was a ramp, which was not a staircase - it had some small rooms as well - but it clearly was the means to go up and down in the building.

Actually - very much like Sageous´ miniature with carousel - but without carousel and without so much colour - all chrome and glass and the people we watched were all in dark business-like attire.

The really weird thing is, that I did not look into his thread - see my sig - before last night.
I had thought about this thread last night but without clicking it.
Okay - I knew some of the miniatures before - and there are several, which could have given me that inspiration - but this one I mentioned, I didn´t see before.

Also weird, that I only now remember it - and not instantly, when I saw that sculpture.
This is the third fragment, that comes back to me..


What is memorable?

The above is curious - my subconsciousness going about it´s business in interesting ways.
But I am sure, it is my dream-fragment - not a false memory - my picture and the scene, I was in while looking at it, is very clear - also different to the sculpture in many respects.


And - I am really surprised, that anything showed up!
Posting on my DILD workbook shortly before had me empty!

I usually only write, what I have dictated - plus some details, I remember while re-listening.
This intensive probing into dream-memory works much better, than expected.
Again - very cool to have the comp - I was missing out on something, not hunting consciously after buried dream-content!

Last night was the first competition 16 night - and I wasn´t even aware of it..

I had two awakenings, where I had more dream-content than I dictated - but I was too lazy to do that.
Maybe if I had known..

But on the last two awakenings - without noting time - I tried to WILD with WBTB.
Didn´t work - yet..
At least it was good for something!

The dream, I have in it´s entirety:
It started with a FA in our old house - one of my most persistent dream-signs - it is ripped down - one time (maybe twice - once years ago?) this made me lucid - to realize it.

Not now - I got up in my old bed there being frustrated that my SSILD had "failed" - as in me not patient enough - and getting up.
No RC - could hit myself.

A Swiss friend of mine was there as a visitor - which in the dream came as a surprise (yes - again no RC ..).
I wasn´t sure, if I was pleased with this fact - not having known about it.

First of all I decided, that he had somebody to breakfast with - my mother and grandmother - and he was amusing himself - so I went in the basement, in my old room from childhood - not the room I had when we moved back there in my youth.
And suddenly it was not okay, that I wanted to WILD there - something had to be repaired, and it was my grandma´s room - but I had been lying down already - staying awake.

So I got up - yepp - no RC..
Don´t know, if the day held anything - it was afternoon then and first didn´t like, that I couldn´t go out with some friend´s I had planned on meeting - because of the visitor.
But I ended up happy with the night - me and him were at a theatre - a friend of mine was playing a role - the play was by his supposed favourite author - he doesn´t exist, I think - forgot the name.

They and she - were great.
The stage had boxes in room-size stacked four by five - and different scenes in them.
No - music, I think..

Later we were home and talked about the author of the play and her.
It was around midnight by then - so supposedly one whole day.
But there was no story for in between the cusps.


One fragment:
I was doing dishes for a friend at their place. The thought crossed my mind, that the sink was to a normal sink, what an outhouse was to a toilet.
The outflow-net was very big - and under it was a drop and autumn leaves - not any nasty, actually.
A water fountain - a clean basin - and a view.
Anyway - I had been given cherry-drops (??) for disinfection to use.
That was it.


Another one:
I was about to move from Berlin to Bavaria - on my way driving a lorry - and I got a bit lost on the roads.
Somehow I came to call my mother - and she started arguing, that I shouldn´t have decided to do the removals myself lala ..


I count three points:
WBTB, Fail: 1
1 Whole Dream: 1
2 Fragments: 1


Some conclusions and goals:
be able to recognize the most frequent of my dream-signs
always RC and dictate, when I wake up
be more confident in my WILD tries - if I get into FA - why not into lucidity next..
do more daytime work - decide, which


TOTM-Competition-Combinations:
"synch up" with imJD - put on it´s feet team Taurus with him

build a snowman from real snow, decorate and animate it (Object/DC Change)

ask a DC for a present and note the reaction - but before get the DC by Basic Summoning - round corner/behind something

at least start transforming into an Arctic wolf (Partial Transformation) to then maybe camouflage in the snow, sneak up on unsuspecting prey - and - rip it apart and eat it (start eating it seems okay..) - try tasting something.

If only I had the same motivation to DJ - and even LD - in the morning, as I have it later in the day..
Didn´t dictate anything - and so there are again only fragments..


One had me with backpain - and getting an x-ray at a hospital, which showed, that I had an implant - a fixateur interne - like if I had broken a vertebra:



We were wondering, how it got there - me having no memory of such a surgery.


Another one was about me looking for a job, and wondering, if I had to take one of the earlier university exams once more.
It seemed I had to - and I was almost completely clueless, how to prepare for that in the short time, which was available.
Funnily - there were classmates from school, who also had to take this exam..
But I managed to organize the books, I had used back then - and made myself a learning-place in our old house´s garden - with sun-umbrella, table, stool and heaps of books and started learning.
But I felt, I couldn´t understand most of it - and got worried about the job.


Another fragment had me searching for my shoes in a school-locker - there were lots of other people´s shoes in it - but not mine.
In every locker there were heaps of shoes - in the end I found one pair of mine, and took another one, which I liked...


And for the third time - I was at the house of another ex (not the one from the last two dream instances - where I wanted him back in the first - and got him back in the second one).
Like irl - we were just normal friends at that point in the dream.
His mother - bit of a bitchy person - was happy we had broken up (irl as well..) - and didn´t like it at all, that I was there in this dream.
Problematic was - I was seemingly going there as a sort of first shelter and place to get a shower and fresh clothes.
How it came, that I arrived totally freezing cold and almost naked in the winter - no idea.
I got myself sorted there anyway - small brother of my ex - and him - standing up for me.
We didn´t exactly get along perfectly back then - I remember being surprised about this brother´s support.
And - however this came to pass in the end: I got cookies and cake baked by this suddenly rather friendly mother - but she still was happy to see me getting out afterwards.


This has again:
School-mates
Exam
Old house of my youth - esp. garden
Shoes.. (?)
Taking something from somebody else
Searching/sorting stuff
Being freezing cold - and not enough clothes (just a sort of small blanket in this case..)
An ex of mine
This special ex´s parent´s house and being threatened to get thrown out.
Last two times I did get thrown out with the x-mas party first - and last time with my grandparents and their friends.

Seemingly again dreaming something once more, but with a more favourable course of events and outcome.

I am quite unhappy with my recall from last night - and on top of that - I was too tired and lazy to try WILD - while a first natural awakening after 6 h not - and not with alarm-clock and hour later either.
Where is my motivation in the morning??

And I was almost sure, I´d get a present last night from the TOTM..

Okay - first a dream, which directly relates to last night´s snippet

Last night´s snippet was about me, wanting my ex-boyfriend back and having to find out on a holiday, that he was happy with his new girlfriend and backed off.

This night - almost like a correction of this: I now was on holiday with him - it was great - we were talking about problems too, and others were advising us against a new start - but we did anyway and it seemed we finally much better understood each other.
I also explained to him, what had happened lately in real life - and how I have changed my outlook on my professional career - he very much found it a good idea (probably in real life he would too..).

Ha - exactly now, while writing - more of this comes back - very satisfying dream it was! Will be left un-journalled - but comes back to me - niice!



Weird fragment:
I was on the shore of a lake - stony shore and a lot of other sun-bathers.
For some weird reason, there was a whole menu of food with us, a group of people, and we wanted to cook it later.
But all ingredients - like meat, sauce, potatoes etc. - were all separately shrink-wrapped in plastic sacks.
A small kid - maybe two years old - tottered towards us - and then peed on the sack with the sauce.
Soo - we were worried, that the acidity would maybe solve the bag - so I was running in a house with it all and washed the outsides of the bags.
Seemed undamaged.
Ended up with me being "press-ganged" to do all of a big heap of dishes and being annoyed about that.
Wanting to go back sun-bathing..

One more scene:

I sat with my supposed grandparents - they looked different though than irl - on a terrace - eating and drinking wine - when suddenly it was clear, this was not our house - but I just had the keys to it - and thought the owners wouldn´t come back till later.
Not so - they came and were angry, I had taken all the good red-wine and drunk it with my grandparents and a couple of other old people - supposedly friends of them.
Bit like the dream with the secret Christmas party hidden in a house..

One more - it was there after waking up, but only now thought about it again - maybe a novel dream-sign (2nd time..)

I was in a sort of animated DV version - but not 3D - and there were three avatars, one a guinea pigs and two rabbits - the ones with very, very much fur - and we had a post-exchange..


It almost seems as if I would dream further - or alternative-dream dreams from earlier nights - making them more agreeable - or at least a bit different.

I wonder if this is common.

Somehow I always manage to fill a page, if I want to - but - last night had really bad recall.

I was wondering about private/DV journalling the last week - and stopped doing it in here.
I found, that while it is good, to do it on a recording function of my I-Phone - without the drive to trans-scribe it - I do not even always listen to it once more.
So this can´t be good.
So I´m back.
But I also have this stupid problem of sweating esp. while vivid and active dreams - and I sort of automatically start moving and opening my eyes to get a new shirt.
It is good I can start dictate, while doing that - but anyway - got to try to really keep still and eyes closed and feel a bit damp and un-comfy for the sake of recall!

While I can hold on to fragments, while doing the changing - I believe this is mostly optically - I do loose the bigger narrative like that.

Many - unnoticed dream-signs: Place of my youth, friends from back then, removals, looking for a place to live.. and more in the other fragments, too.

So - three of the several fragments on the 4 min. audio-file, I grumbled together:

I wanted to move back to the place I spent my youth, and was looking for somewhere to live - me a man, I don´t know, came along a small street - rather a way, where there where lots of old-fashioned, formerly very beautiful Bavarian buildings - like old farm-complexes and also normal houses - all were completely ruined, though.
One could look through wooden pillars - and even inside was nothing interesting to go examine and "pillage".
Something I felt like doing - and I was disappointed, not to see furniture or interesting other things inside any of them.
I was also wondering, how it could be, there were ruins in such a "popular area" close to the lake.



I was with one old female school-friend out to look for something to wear for a party - and we suddenly thought - why not just take something.
But as it were - there was almost no space in the 2 shops, we went in - and nothing we wanted, either - so back out we went.
Then she was suddenly gone - and I had to pass through a café with tables on the side-walk.
Twice something fell to the ground unnoticed - first an expensive ear-ring - and I picked it up and gave it back to the woman - and then some figurine of a board game - also gave that back to that woman.


The last thing was the nicest - I think, not often in my dreams do I hear something beautiful.

I was sight-seeing inside a big government-building with another friend back from school.
I still have some contact with some of them - but not him for too long, actually.
Inspired by Sivason - I might write a mail to him..

Anyway - there were columns with singing bowls - some of them filled with water.
My friend circled with his finger around the rim of one filled bowl - and the most wonderful sound emerged - crystal-clear and very sublime - "hanging in the air" for a while after.
The one closest to me didn´t have water, but I found and poured some in - and started trying it out myself.
But it didn´t work out as beautifully - almost didn´t work at all - and bit later - we left.

Date: 08.11.13
Total sleep: Good question..
Daytime Techniques: hm..
Lucid Techniques: Repeating my mantras but without conviction and expectation
Recall Techniques: bad, bad, bad
Fell Asleep: Good question

Fragment One: Problems With My Mother
Dream:
...edited..

Fragment Two - Being Hunted By a Lunatic and Dead Animals
Dream
I was being on a journey with a bus and people I didn´t know.
We took bicycles and went into the woods with them. There was a story and a reason, why we - and esp. me, who lost the others - were hunted by somebody wanting to kill us.
I forgot, though.
Later there were zombie animals (farm-animals - cows, horses, pigs..) and somehow I had to find a living animal of the right species for each one of them to - don´t know - redeem them?
This finally worked out - I found those in the woods with my bike and paired them up on the bus-platform.
They just stood there and were happy then - half of them dead and decomposing.

We entered the bus and had sort of a picnic in there - then back on the bikes and it was the way from Munich to Tegernsee and the bikes were almost flying so fast did we go.

Somehow that guy later was completely friendly and took me home to his family and showed me, how to make traditional jewellery (see snippet).

Awake: two or three times in between dreams - got up at 11 am
Vividness: (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness) 8
Awareness: (1-10; or lucid) maybe 6, non lucid
Length: (how long it felt like! Because that matters) the dream with the second fragment - one day
Emotions: ..edited..
Dream Signs: Bavaria - again, my mother and me in my late teens

..

..

Date: 06.11.13
Total sleep: 8 h (3 am - 11 am)
Daytime Techniques: oddities - 10 min. back, only 3 times for some minutes - trying to sense everything around and inside me - like in Joshi´s ADA tut
Lucid Techniques: repeating mantras before sleeping and in between dream-parts; after final waking up I tried a bit hapazardly to WILD but lost patience real quick - heard the traffic outside - got itches here and there - gave up very quickly - maybe too awake - or maybe happy to be done with all the stress while dreaming.
Recall Techniques: criggling notes for the first part - the other two awakenings not - the second I had sweated through my pyjamas and tried writing, but was shivering and had to change clothes and lost it - third time I jumped out of bead, happy to be out of the nightmare
Fell Asleep: 3 am (bad girl - and had drunk alcohol too - like Friday - there was also impaired recall then)
Dream Fragment number one - Title: Hunting Dog-Loving Nazi-Killers
Dream:
Really bad recall - but anyway:
I was coming to investigate a murder of a girl and a boy with an other investigator.
It was a nasty affair - kids pretty much chopped up (shouldn´t have peeked into the Sally Hook thread..).
But their dog was missing - and we got shown pictures of a beautiful pedigree dog.
Then it was obvious, it must have been the Nazis, camping somewhere in the woods - because they like such dogs, and sure had taken it with them - otherwise it would be howling around the corpses.
So - we made out into the woods - it was winter and we walked and looked and walked - and suddenly I got lucid.
I forgot about the planned hand-rubbing - just remembered to really put my full attention towards a detail somewhere - still a bit concerned about the dream - wanting overlook - I choose a branch fork a bit in the distance and quite high up.
Sure enough - this fork "sucked" me in and I was up there (no flying like I usually did when lucid = air-swimming - I was just "zooming" there).
The last lucid thought I had was - damn - now I don´t have a body - what now?
Next thing - I saw that camp and lost lucidity and was somehow on the ground again - to go on Nazi-hunting.

We came to that camp and it was not as expected - no Nazis but the dog alright and many skinny scared people, who had some sort of problem with a fire-magic they had tinkered with and which burned them out now.
Now it starts getting all jumbled up - the above I wrote down, but I don´t have anything coherent from there on any more.
It seemed all one story what followed - with one awakening in between - but all a horrible stress.
I was with a sort of tribe of people who had brought nasty stuff upon themselves and we were constantly fighting, trying to catch someone or something and chain it down or whatever.

Strangely - much later was another moment, we were at a lake - and again - I got lucid - but not a lot - and tried to zoom over to the other shore of the lake for some reason - well - I got off the ground and can´t remember anything else from there.

All else are only pictures or mini-scenes - see snippets later.
There were also some strange sexual rituals somewhere connected - but I was only observer.
Now I write - it is a lot I can write - but the other days, except Friday - I had whole storylines.

Awake: after that first fragment - forgot to look, all overall 11 am
Vividness: (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness) 7/8
Awareness: (1-10; or lucid) mostly maybe 5 but twice shortly lucid first time much clearer
Length: (how long it felt like! Because that matters) That fragment felt like an afternoon - all nightmare together - maybe a week?
Emotions: shocked, angry, only a little afraid, also a bit of morbid fascination, but most of all and by far most intense - stress - I had to prevent bad stuff from happining all the time it felt - I did manage - but it took my all
Dream Signs: There was a mini-scene interspersed, where I was in an audience for a performance - and suddenly an old schoolmate turned up with the maths material I had missed the class for - he gave me his notes to copy