Suena

Yay, I thought I had forgotten the dream by the time I got off work, then it all just rushed back in after an hour and a half being home. =D

I was living with my mother again and we had some family over, aunts and cousins. I realized that I had to work and got ready. I forgot my ipod the first time and went and got it. When I came back out it had started raining, but it was incredibly windy too. I had troubles getting into my car and was trying not to blow away. My mom had been watching me from the door. I remember falling and sliding under the car at one point. I got in the car finally and realized I forgot my wallet. So I got back out to go get it and my mom met me at the door, and she was angry about something. She was yelling at me and I told her that we'd talk later because I was going to be late for work, but then she told me that I had to quit and kept yelling. I stayed home and was thinking about what I was going to say to my boss, thinking at least I could blame it on my mother, then I realized that I was 20 and didn't have to put up with this. I wandered around the house for a moment with my family and then I realized that I could move out. I didn't know where I was going to go but I thought I could find a better place than with my mom. I even thought about moving in with T, but thought about how I'd have to live with him and his parents. I decided I'd figure it out later. I started getting all my stuff and gathering it up, then searching for boxes. I left my stuff in one place for a moment to find a box and when I returned my cousin had put it all back, as if to say I couldn't leave. Last thing I remember was crying hard, laying on my bed.

What I'm talking about isn't a dream I had. It's an entry from my daily journal that, I guess, I really want to share. I didn't want to make it a thread, because it sort of is like a dream. I dream that one day we may understand eachother. I hope it makes sense, because really that is the point. It's actually something I shouldn't have to feel upset about. I feel it's like common sense, but that isn't alway so common either.So, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear some opinions, otherwise, enjoy my rant.

Quite honestly, I don't think I want to marry someone who doesn't understand, not for lack of the ability, but just because this person does not want to understand anything. Obviously, this person doesn't know how to communicate or what it is, maybe. How can you communicate with someone without understanding? You can't. They both need each other to exist. Someone explains something, whether it be knowledge or feelings, and the other person, first, acknowledges what that person has to say, then trys to understand, empathize, sympathize with those ideas and this leads to understanding. Why wouldn't one try to relate to another? Especially someone that is close to that person. I know that there are exceptions. That there are things that aren't worth understanding, and things that are impossible to understand, and things that aren't meant to be understood. But isn't it human nature to try, at least. Maybe it's not important to some people. Okay, I get that. But maybe they just don't know how important it is to be able to communicate and relate to others. Without communication, where would we be? Probably some place much darker and just worse than it already is. Everything starts with communication.

Okay, took a nap and dreamed quite vividly about the zombie apocalypse. And the whole time I felt like it was a movie.

It started out where I was going to a friend's barbecue, indoors. I get there and my friend isn't there yet. I waited a long time, and the dream was so long, I don't remember what I was doing. He did leave me a letter and I remember stuffing them in this book. I start getting anxious about my friend getting there because in the dream I realized that I really liked him. His letter will be C. It happens to be a guy I work with, anyway. C never shows up, but some kind of show is playing, that he finished just for me. I realize that he only finished it because I told him I wanted to see the rest. I felt realy happy when I heard this. So, he still hadn't showed up and I really couldn't wait to see him. In the back of my mind, I know I'm married the whole time.

So, I look outside to find a bunch of people with weapons and they're yelling and shooting. I go out to find out that there are zombies everywhere. I run around and ask for a gun or something so I can help and defend myself. They hand me a green laser. Which has absolutely no effect on the zombies. One guy had just been bitten and they were telling me to kill him, so I aim the laser at his head and it was red at first then turned green, the guy walked up to me and held my hand that had the laser in it, helping me shoot him. Then he turns around and starts walking towards the zombies. They kept telling me to point it at his head. It was really hard, but I realized most of the zombies coming through the windows were paraplegic... they were crawling on their top halfs (like Nazi Zombies.) So I realize I have time, I accidently shoot someone who is not a zombie with my laser. They start to shoot at me and I duck. I start running with all these people. I'm still thinking about my friend and wondering if he's a zombie.

Then we all find this building and go inside to take the children inside. I realize my son is in there, and the people were leaving all the babies in a room. I stayed, because I wanted to protect them if something happened. Some girl comes and finds me and I go outside to find my husband, he's talking to these people and I feel like it's really important, so I stand off to the side. He's saying something about a video released by the government and I sit down next to him to watch. I'm holding the book with the letters in it from C, and my husband notices this and playfully starts to pull them out to read. I hold on to it tight and laugh and say Ill tell him about it later and that I still had some writing to do. He keeps trying anyway so I hand him tickets and what not. Finally I give him it, letting him in on what's going on. That's when C walks up and trys to hold my hand and take me away. Then he realizes that I hadn't told my husband yet. He's upset, and I tell him that I was just going to hand my husband this ID to show him when C takes it and puts it in his back pocket. He tells me that he sees how it is and I get angry and pull the id out of his back pocket, shove it at T, and just walk away from them both.

Then I'm with a bunch of people in cars, some guy is saying that when they had the evacuation they shouldn't have used the roads with all the trees. Someone agreed with him and as we're driving out of town we noticed a lot of incoming cars. I ask why they're coming here and that we should all stick together. The cars are tiny though, they were like, bumper cars, or those cars you ride through wacky shacks, they were all on some line. I run ahead to see what's coming, and I can hear zombies. I run back and tell them we gotta split, so everyone starts jumping on these stick like things that hover and they started flying off on some circut. I hurry and grab one and start flying through these tunnels with all these people. The thing I'm hovering on looks like, can't think of the name at the moment, the thing the grim reaper has. It was a lot of fun.

Then I start walking through this building that we found safe, it has strange hallways that curve inward like a spiral. Me and this girl are walking through and she's angry with me for some reason, so I ask her what's wrong as we're walking, but she wont' say. We're looking for zombies around every corner. When we get to the center, I see this little railing that goes up to the ceiling, like a ramp. I go up it to see if I'd find something interesting. I found a strange contraption on the wall, and there was something that fit into place. I told her that this was it, this was the answer. Then in my mind I was thinking that the government came up with this movie and that it was supposed to have a happy ending, unlike all other zombie movies. I dug in this dirt, not finding what it was that fit in place. Then these doors opened up from the room we were in and there were zombies out in this hallway, but they weren't trying to kill us. They all looked green and kind of reminded me of the guy from Tales of the Crypt, the skeleton dude. Anyway, the all had suitcases and they were yelling and point inside, telling us to give them all of our stuff. They were just material oriented zombies I guess. I made myself wake up... Felt semi lucid.

Can't remember at what point I did this, but I remember asking someone if this was really happening, and they said yes, yes it was. I still didn't believe him, so I tried forcing my eyes open and I got them open, they felt glued shut, but I got them open, but I was still in the dream. I wasn't lucid though.

Anyway, I missed a bunch I'm sure, this dream felt like it lasted the whole two hours I was asleep.

Dream from last night:

I was with my friend M and she and I were going to some movie. She took the wrong turn tho on the highway. I remember telling her to take 235 north, not Topeka highway, which I don't think exists lol. But she took Topeka, then we found ourselves in this little villiage of hobos and we're living in a hut, but we're 14 again (which was around the time we used to hang out) and we had run away from home. Eventually I went home in the dream.

Yeaaaa.... crazy dreams.