Timothy Paradox

I had over a dozen short dreams, all of which I forgot. Luckily. Don't feel like typing that much today.

One dream stood out. I woke up at 5AM from a dreadful nightmare, presumable about monsters like in 'The Thing'. Yeah, most of my nightmare creatures are from 80's movies. I felt intensely paranoid and fearful, and I jumped at every noise I heard coming from the hallway. I tried to ignore it, but couldn't. I proceeded to 'clear' my entire apartment room by room to make sure there was nothing there, and checked the doors were still locked. Only then, I calmed down a little and managed to continue sleeping.

I had a lot more of these waking hallucinations I've been having since two days ago. I remember little of their content, but they all felt so... significant. Like it's not supposed to be able to happen. I recall a remote viewing event, wanting to know the time and 'seeing' a clock through my closed eyes, and more cool shenanigans. I had an amazing degree of control over their content. Like I was controlling the story through my fantasies, fantasies that manifested themselves right in front of me. Like I was the character and 'director' of my dream at the same time.

There was a moment I fantasized about meeting 'her'. The scene that unfolded in front of me was me walking up to a stage, manned by a full crew (like light and sound guys, stuff like that). I thought I'd prefer some privacy for an encounter like this, but I went along with in, anyway. I approached what looked like a wooden shape of an airplane (?) on the set. I couldn't see her, but knew 'she' was in the right seat. I took the seat next to her.

The story continued and went off some wild tangent, and I wondered if I hadn't strayed too far from the original plot.

One of the hallucinations turned a bit violent. Some guy did something that made me very angry, and I think I somehow got him onto the ground. I woke up feeling such intense hatred, adrenaline literally coursing through my veins. The hallucination turned to mere fantasy as I woke. I fantasized about smashing his skull to bits with a baseball bat. As my awareness of the real world got stronger, the hate subsided and I calmed down.

Another hallucination happened while I was listening to the newest album of Carbon Based Lifeforms. I went from dream to wakefulness so sudden, I could 'hear the silence', and suddenly regaining my hearing and hearing the music. Like my consciousness went 'online' a second or so before my hearing did.

In another dream I was being flown around a tropical environment (I think it was supposed to be the Miami area, but it looked 'flooded' and primitive somehow. Somewhat post-apocalyptic yet fully inhabited. Watching the other guy fly somehow made me realize I could do it myself. I was in the water (hard to explain again, water surrounded by shanty town houses/buildings, and had to scale a high wall. The others just flew up and over it, but I had trouble taking off from the water. I found a chair, partially submerged and attached to a wall, and decided to climb on it to give me a little boost. That's when I woke up.

I was in a commercial airliner. Right after takeoff, I could immediately feel something was wrong. It all happened so fast, I had no real time to fear for my life. The plane crashed, and by the time I realized what happened, I was in a burning wreck. The only survivor.

Not sure how it happened, but I was having sex with some girl. No details required. I'll save those for my private dream log offline.

I'm in some outdoors location near a barn. Some guy is there, and he bites my fist for some reason. I assume he's kidding but he's biting quite hard. Doesn't hurt too much, though. We crack some jokes, but suddenly the mood turns darker and the things he says turn quite nasty, and almost threatening. At some point he crosses a small wooden bridge, and I think we end up pointing shotguns at each other. I decide to back off, unwilling to die over such a petty matter. Suddenly, a zombie rushes in from the left and knocks him to the ground. As it starts tearing him apart, I calmly walk away. Prick deserved it.

A bunch of stuff happening in a GTA V setting. I drive a bunch of criminals around, swap cars to a parked police car, then hide under a bridge until the heat dies down.

I was awake but still in bed. My alarm was about to go off, but not quite yet. I closed my eyes and promptly started hallucinating. I manifested on a train. The railway car I was in was completely white (and very well-lit), with some bits in bright red. It was completely empty. No seats, no nothing. I had no body and could only look around. There was one person standing to my left. To my right, another. Every time I looked from left to right and back, the part of the train I'd looked away from had changed. Like, it changed shape. The people around me freaked me out. They didn't move at all, and showed zero emotion of any kind. Worse yet, they changed too, just like the train. You look at someone in the distance, look away, and when you look back it's another person standing much closer to you. Freaky stuff. At some point one of them got so close, I tried to give him a telekinetic push to make him back off from me. Instead of sending him flying, he just 'teleported' back a few meters, completely unfazed. Suddenly, that weird person looked like my grandmother (oma). That's when my alarm went off and I had to get out of bed.

Interesting side note. That alarm was for a job interview. When I got to the office where I was to have my interview, the interior immediately caught my attention. Minimalistic, with the two dominant colors being white and bright red. Not saying this 'means anything', just saying it's... curious.

As I woke up and was physically sitting up to get out of bed, I tried grabbing a non-existent object that only existed in my dream. The process of waking up and getting up probably happened so fast, my mind had no time to distinguish real from dream.

I saw the Guild Wars inventory of a female elementalist, and noticed three sets of leggings for every build (water, earth and air magic).

The dream started off with one of those giant robots from Wolfenstein attacking me. I tried to shoot it. Another vehicle, a mobile missile launcher, fired a slow-moving guided missile at me. I hid behind a beam. The missile missed and just fell onto the ground. After a while it exploded. Then it turns out we're actually on some kind of terrace high up the Empire State Building. It was way bigger than it is in real life. Like, big enough for mobile missiles launchers to drive around. I somehow knew that terrace was commonly used by couples to get married. Odd, but alright. Anyway, the explosion caused the entire top of the State Building to fall off. It was horrifying, like 9-11 all over again. I was pretty sure I was fucked, but then Peter Petrelli flew in out of nowhere and carried me and/or his brother to safety. Back on the ground, I was still reeling from watching presumably thousands of people die, and almost kicking the bucket myself. We were in an alley, and Gabriel Gray (also known as Sylar) was there too. I was immensely grateful to Peter, but for some reason he blamed the whole incident on Gabriel. I tried to convince Pete that Gabriel was still the good guy, but he called me naive and left. I decided to stick with Gabriel, as I believed he had a way of fixing this mess.

Suddenly, I 'gain consciousness' standing in a kind of garden behind my old school. I'm wearing a kind of white robe? There were tons of people there, old students and teachers. Barra approaches, visibly shocked at my presence. He asked what I was doing there. I told him I had no idea how I got there. He said I was sitting at a bench scribbling Koran stuff (or gibberish, anyway) in a trance. I asked if there'd been another terrorist attack on NYC (the State Building), which he confirmed. The dream's soundtrack was a non-existent track called "Silence in the Sky".

Last night's dream was the ultimate 90's mashup. I was flying an X-wing, in a massive battle of X-wings against Nazi F-18 fighter jets (they had swastikas on their wings). The battle took place underneath the city-ship from Independence Day. At some point the giant green cannon of the ship opened and prepared to fire, and I climbed up to it, pretending to crash into it like the guy in his crop duster did at the end of he movie. I aborted right at the end, though. I flew towards downtown LA in the distance, but a stray Nazi bullet shot me down. I crashed my jet somewhere in downtown, starting the plot of Duke Nukem 3D (which starts with Duke crashing his spaceship in Hollywood). I played a few levels, but it all looked heavily modded and different.

Good times.

I finally managed to tell Claire I liked her. It didn't go great (not outright rejection, but not enthusiasm either), but it felt like there was at least a chance.

Somewhat nightmarish dream in which I navigate a series of large, dark rooms connected by doors. It was very dark, and silent. I suspect there were monsters around, or at least I thought there were. There was a group of people, but I was pretty far ahead of them, scouting ahead or something. Or collecting objects to progress, like a game of Resident Evil. After a while, I had enough and I told Claire (who was with me) this was crazy and clearly a job for the military. Predictably, she would have none of that and wanted to go on. Not wanting to disappoint (and knowing that with her, it's her way or the highway), I begrudgingly agreed and lead the party further into the maze of dark rooms.

In in some kind of high-tech base, attacking the control room held by Italian fascists. I killed everybody in there, but was then attacked by reinforcements coming from an outdoor corridor linking the allied and axis headquarters (architecture is once again almost impossible to explain). One of them possibly controlled some kind of mech suit. Anyway, they were all dead in the end. I crossed the corridor and went into the other headquarters. Once again, more fascists. But these guys didn't know I was the enemy yet, and the guards greeted me as if I was a friend. I think I realized I forgot something and decided to 'load the game' to get to the previous HQ faster. Instead of ending up in the room full of dead fascists, the corpses had despawned and the room was now occupied by allies. One of these allies, however, angrily told me I wasn't allowed to be here. I said I liberated this room just a few minutes earlier, and that that should earn me at least 15 seconds to do what I needed to do here. Nope. A big black guy easily two heads taller than me (and muscles like a body builder) told me to 'get out, or else'. Slightly stunned, I obeyed. It didn't sit well with me, though. Not at all. I was fuming, in fact. I went back inside, and attacked the guy whom I felt had insulted me. I knew he was armed (I wasn't), but I had the element of surprised so he couldn't draw. We wrestled for a bit. He was strong, stronger than me, but I appeared to possess skill in martial arts (looked like Jiu Jitsu), as I used techniques I do not master in real life. I used his strength against him to force him to the ground. I reached for his shotgun and took it. After some more wrestling, I managed to aim it for his head and pull the trigger. The 'click' sound told me there were no shells in the chamber. He laughed, thinking he'd won. I inserted a shell, and racked the slide. He reached for the weapon, hoping to turn it against me. It didn't work. I had the gun aimed for his head, and was ready to pull the trigger when I woke up.

The dream faded, and I fantasized about the shot blowing his head off. I hadn't really thought it through, though. If I killed him, wouldn't all the other allied forced immediately kill me, considering they were all armed? Perhaps I didn't care, as this felt like a video game, anyway.

I was flying over a city surrounded by water. I think my brother was there too, flying an airship. We were kind of playing around. I tried to bring down enemies by manipulating the ocean water below me and pulling them out of the air, or by pushing them away with TK. Sadly, none of these powers worked. My notes say Yoda was somehow involved, too. At some point I flew low over the city, and ran sideways across a fence (an impossible wall run). Someone on the street saw me. All of this was accompanied by a loud Eurobeat soundtrack. At some point, people and buildings become huge (or I became tiny) and I had to start flying really, really high for some reason. Samuel L. Jackson?

In a second dream, I flew along a coastline. But I felt strangely out of control. Spinning around my axis while I kept going in the same direction. An older person on shore noticed me.

I flew towards another city. This one had a very specific 'feel' to it. It was near a big waterfall like the Niagara falls. I (of course) felt the need to fly through the waterfall at full speed. The soundtrack of this dream was 'Long Tall Sally' by Little Richard. I landed somewhere on the riverbank (sloped, open piece of land) and helped rescue a black kitty together with some other guys. Carrying bottles of compressed air? The entire time, I felt like I was controlling the plot.

I was on a train. I looked out of window, and everything looks really weird. Everything was 'blocky' and in black and white. I thought this was evidence I was inside a computer simulation (rather than a dream). I was studying the environment because I was convinced there were patterns that were trying to tell me something. A sign, or something. The other characters on the train were very annoying, though. I hit one of them, and he vanished. I felt guilty because I hurt one of the simulations, and I felt like I wasn't supposed to do that. Like, my anger would make me fail the challenge. Later on, I had to solve puzzles. I moved through a shopping area inside a train station. I fantasized about blowing everything up if the DCs kept annoying me. At the end of the dream, I sat on a ledge of sorts, and threw something down to the DCs. We were solving a puzzle together?

I was with a couple of family members at my late grandmother's house (moeke). My mom was there, as well as my brother. And a few others, but I don't know who exactly. Oddly, my grandmother was there too. She'd dead. I noticed her being there was... odd. But it still felt so normal. I wondered if anyone else could see her. I think they said they had no idea what I was talking about. But then I saw my brother in conversation with my grandmother. She said something, and he replied. I confronted my brother, and asked him who he was talking to - as what he said could only make sense in response to someone asking him a question. I was confused as to why everybody appeared to be lying. The situation didn't make any sense. Unless... And that's when I figured that they were *all* characters, and I was the only real person in the room. I forced myself to wake up, as I was already drifting close to full consciousness anyway.

There was a kind of war going on. It was the modern day, and I was in a trench of sorts with other people of my 'side'. At some point, they were all gone and I was surrounded by enemies. I had my chest pressed against the side of the trench, which was odd because I wasn't being restrained or anything. I was surrendering, I guess. I still had my pistol in my hand, and for a second a tried inserting a fresh magazine (presumably to kill some of the enemies by surprise) but I decided against it because I knew I'd undoubtedly get killed myself. So I surrendered, but I still had my gun in my hand, and I couldn't drop it because my arm and hand were stuck between the wall and myself. To release the gun and show them my hands, I'd have to move. And I knew the slightest unexpected movement might cause them to shoot. Anyway, after a lot of shouting, eventually they got my gun and I showed them my empty hands. Curiously, they didn't restrain me or tie me up. In the next scene, I was at a large round/oval table where the enemies who had defeated us were seated. All of their head honchos were there, but everyone was dressed like regular people. Even more bizarrely, they gave me my gun back, loaded and everything. I laughed at their naivety. I think they realized and took it back? Not sure. Anyway, I sat down next to one of them, and made the finger gun gesture to their leader sitting across from me. I guess I could have blown him anyway, but I like living so I didn't. Both 'sides' had a colour. Mine was orange, theirs was blue. The 'meeting room' was bathed in orange light, which I thought was odd. At some point I heard reference to a Professor X, who I think was our leader. I think my side was into developing super-powered mutants, or something. The blue guys opposed it. They said something like 'Professor X won't succeed". My plan was to escape at some point and rejoin my own side. I really despised the enemy and would not let them win.

I was having a vivid dream, which I have forgotten now. When I woke up from this dream, I found myself on a bus. I was standing, and when I woke I mumbled something as I was still finishing a sentence in the dream I was having. A man gave me a weird look, and I felt embarrassed. I told him I could sleep while standing, as this is apparently what had happened. I looked out the window, and saw it was the street leading to my old high school (Prins Kavellei, heading north). I felt very confused. I didn't know how I got there. I didn't remember getting on that bus. I knew there weren't supposed to be any buses on that particular road. In fact, I had no idea what day it was, what time it was, or what I'd done earlier that day. Then, I woke up again. This time, I found myself back in 'reality'.

I was having a "Wolfenstein: The New Colossus" themed dream. I was in a small town vaguely reminiscent of the Roswell level. I was supposed to go on a solo mission to do something important. I'd have to enter a manhole in the street. Someone wished me luck. An old colleague, Patrick Sevenans, approached me and reluctantly (he hated me) wished me luck. He handed me a handful of small change, for some reason. Just a euro or two in small coins. At some point, I saw an übersoldier attacking a civilian, or friend. I rushed in, trying to protect this person. But I was too late and (s)he was dead. I had no time to pull out my guns, so I just punched the armored übersoldier with my bare hands. This was 'realistic', not game mechanics. I had a kind of super-strength, apparently. I knocked off his helmet, revealing its horrific face. I hit his face a few times until it died. Before long, there was gunfire everywhere and the 'stealthy' mission became a massive shootout.

When I woke up, I had Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" in my head.

I had money issues (as I do in real life, been unemployed for too long) and I'd agreed to take part in a bank robbery with a few professional bank robbers. I'd never committed a crime before, so I was very nervous. In the car on our way to the bank, I got cold feet. And the rest of the crew, not exactly nice people, noticed. They said that if I got nervous, the deal would be off. So I said I was good. We all had carbines, but they assured me we'd rob the bank at night and almost no one would be around. They lied. They used a lot of force and violence and I think people got hurt. I complained that this wasn't what we agreed. I was worried enough about being charged for robbery, and I didn't want accomplice to murder being added to that list. And I'm generally speaking not a murderer. These other guys... were nothing like me.

I was in a city in Turkey, and suddenly some kind of earthquake shook the ground. People assumed it was a nuclear explosion for a while, but then we realized it wasn't. Don't know what it was. Just a quake, I guess? People were standing on this rickety bridge above a pool of water (in the city center). I wanted to get off as I realized it might collapse.

We were traveling to Barcelona in a big bus, like I did a decade ago with school (twice). We got out to take a break, on an empty road somewhere halfway to our destination. There was a massive raging fire on the horizon. One of our teachers (math teacher Van Achteren) came up behind me and talked about a kind of app for merging pictures on her phone? For photographing the fire, I guess. My notes say our history teacher Peeters was there too, but I don't remember him. Notes also say "chocolate egg NL". Yeah, no clue what that means. In a later scene, I was in a hotel room, presumably in Barcelona. We had to share rooms with other students, just like how it was in real life. I realized I'd forgotten a lot of stuff back home, and I had almost nothing on me (just my wallet). I walked on a balcony outside of the hotel, wrapped in a blanket. The wind was blowing so hard, I could barely stand, let alone walk. I couldn't keep up with the others, who had already left. I was terrified of being left behind.

Something about Doom savegames?