Xanous' Dream Journal

#327 – WILD/ DEILD chain – 4:53AM

I started this WILD at 4AM and while it took some time to relax and quiet my mind I don't recall it feeling like an hour long experience, though the dream was really long. Perhaps I woke to vibrations and didn't realize I fell asleep? I spend a lot of time bouncing from vibrations in SP to little dreamlets to transitioning out of bed to DEILDing back to SP vibrations so I don't really recall all of it. Most of it was boring garbage anyway.

The main part is that after another DEILD, I saw the bathroom light on so I go in there. I take a good look in the mirror and I look mostly normal. Then I do a variation of Canislucidus' summon. Instead of reaching behind myself, I close the door slightly and blindly reach into the bedroom hoping Dthoughts would show up. I end up just grasping at the air until my hand switches in my physical body causing me to have to DEILD again.

There is one transition were I am just walking in the void but I can see the silver cord. I don't get very far and I have a falling sensation back to my body.

I lucidly observe a lot of dream content but don't take any control. It was interesting to act out a dreamlet without even trying. I guess that explains a lot of erratic behavior even while lucid. I recall one where I am on my knees on the floor next to my wife in bed. We are talking and I have a phone in my hand. I push play and I hear a conversation with my daughter then I hear myself in the podcast. My voice morphs and changes. I decide to take control hear and do a little hand rubbing but the dream collapses back to another DEILD.

One of my bedroom exits my wife calls my name but I ignore it. I am not sure what happens next but I don't get very far.

I try to phase through the bedroom door as I hear my wife calling my name again. This time I decide to stop and listen. I try to ask her “what” but my mouth is stuck shut so I try to communicate telepathically. “What babe? What do you want?” but she never responds.

There was a lot more experiences but nothing worth noting. I eventually roll over and hope for a DILD.

#326 – DILD – 2:54AM

I'm not sure why I keep dreaming of this place but I really hate it.

I am at my ex-wife's parent's house picking up a computer that my ex gave me. I spend a lot of time talking to her father and brother but she doesn't want to come out of the bedroom to talk to me. I'm fine with that. I check out the computer and wonder if she bothered to wipe the hard drive. I wonder what I'll find on it.

I end up outside and load a whole desk with a computer on some truck by myself while her dad and brother are “supervising”. The sky quickly turns dark and I look up. I am surprised to see a strange, bright neon-lit, geometric pattern in the sky. It looks something like an abstract kite floating to-and-fro in a bright star nebula. I am shocked and so excited that I blurt out, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”
Her father seems annoyed and in a tone that suggests he'd rather not talk about it says, “Oh... I don't know.” And waves me off.
Suddenly, I recognize this old and familiar dream-sign and say the old and familiar phrase, “I am dreaming. This is a dream.” I turn to the two DCs next to me and arrogantly say “See you guys later”

I don't quite recall my goal [meet extraterrestrials] but I feel this is close to whatever I had planned. I jump up to take flight to the odd thing in the sky but I only do a short hop. The gravity still feels light but I feel heavier than usual for a dream. “Wait. Maybe I'm not [dreaming]” I do nose plug and blow cleanly through. “OK. I am [dreaming]” Keeping my eyes on the target, I jump again. This time it's much higher but again, I come right back down. I try once more with added effort. I feel like I this time I will make it, but at the last second, my ex-brother-in-law grabs my foot. I look down at him as we fall together into a black abyss. The look on his face is ferocious but I have no emotion.

I am fooled by a false awakening and I tell myself this is the second lucid of the night [false memory]. Immediately I start recording the dream, but I feel clumsy and my eyes are out of focus. I think maybe I am just really sleepy. I try to stand up to concentrate more on the touch screen but the blankets seem attached to my head. I fight them off and wake my wife. The sound of the sheets is really loud. My wife asks me what's wrong but I shush her as I am super focused on typing the first word of the dream but I still can't see. I suddenly wake up.

Just some quick notes and lucid experiences. Nothing worth counting.

Saturday night was G night. Had typical DEILDly SP that went no where and didn't last long.

Early this morning I drank a homemade cold latte:
I was at a dealership and the sales rep was trying to talk us into trading in our Dodge Journey for a newer Dodge Lancer but It looked almost identical to the Journey. He told us our interest was way lower but because it was lower that they had to raise it some so our payments would be $25 higher. I look at some documents in my hand. At the top I read "DAWDGE LANCER" Jesus they can't even spell Dodge. Is that intentional as some sort of loophole to scam me?, I thought. This whole thing seemed really sketch so I told him I wasn't interested. I comment to my wife that I really like the Journey and thought we were going to keep it indefinitely. As we leave all the salesmen break into a song and dance. I scoff and walk away.

Wake DEILD effort.

I am climbing in a window several stories at the dealership. I am now one of the sales reps and I arrive too late to join the song and dance.

I am riding in a vehicle having some conversation and become lucid. A ghostly car outside the window catches my attention. The dream morphs and turns black... all but the car. It looks like an actual Dodge Lancer. For some reason I put my hands in front of me as I say out loud in a sort of whine, "I HAD GOALS!" I can't recall them. The dream fades.

#325 – DILD – 4:25AM

I woke earlier and attempted DEILD but fell non lucid. I later have a dream that I only remember the premise of. Basically, I was challenged to enter the Astral Plain and find several other dreamers in a type of spook house setting. Four or five of us had pitched in $20 each and the winner takes the pot. I quickly find a place to lay down and focus on my “third eye” area in a type of meditation. I have random thoughts of what the spook house would be like and I fear that my expectations would create a bad schema, so I put it out of my mind.

Later... was it later? I notice my dream body feels odd and my hands are numb. I have the feeling that I lost consciousness briefly and woke to SP. Fully lucid now, I slowly get up and take labored steps around a dark room. My vision starts to clear and I see a wild haired version of my self cast on the wall from the moonlit window. I ignore it and search for a way out of the room.

As the lights come on, the bedroom looks nothing like any place I have ever been and I see other people sleeping. The premise of the entire reason for getting lucid takes over and I fully believe it as reality. For some reason I thing of those people sleeping as the other participants. I remember that I am supposed to actually teleport to the spook house to find six people. I try summoning a vortex but that wont come. Then, I visualize a door but it's just a strange outline on the wall. Then, I see an open closet with a very small door in back. I try to fit in but the dream becomes unstable as I try to shrink myself. Finally, I give up and leave through an actual door in the room. I decide it will take me where I need to go using expectation.

As I enter a dark hallway I see two guys lumbering toward me like zombies. I feel a little afraid but assume they are the two of the six. I point this out and walk away. My recall is a little hazy here but basically, I make my way through a large house until I find all six men in pairs. Suddenly, I remember to find an object to continuously stabilize though I probably didn't need this at this point. There is some sort of strange wire sculpture on an end table and I take it up. I feel it in my right hand and on my arm. It's light but sort of large.

I am still completely sold on the idea of the Astral Challenge and start talking to one of the guys about it all. I am very chatty in this dream and don't remember all that was said but we pretty much decide that everyone completed the challenge. I make a comment that I guess we just each take back our own $20. I realize I am holding a beer and say, “And the beer...” I look at a box of Bud Light. “I should have brought an 18 pack...” The box suddenly shows “18”. “Er, I mean a 24 pack. I could drink 18 all by myself.” I laugh out loud.
The guy I am talking to stays silent. I take a drink not paying attention to the feel or taste and set the can down. I remember I was holding an object and bring my attention back to it. The object has now sort of melted and morphed into something undefinable. I drop it and search for something else. We are in a kitchen with a sliding glass patio door. I see something like nails or screws on the kitchen counter. I take one and pause. Do I want a nail or screw? I decide it should be a screw since it has more texture and rigged to feel. I hold it in my right hand feeling it with my thumb as I continue the conversation. I say something about this spook house being in the “The Astral Plain” as I make quotation marks with my fingers. I say some other things and then, realizing I have completed my task, I should think of something else to do. I am amazed at how long this dream has been. I don't want it to end but I am afraid that I will forget parts of it. I think back a little and feel like I have a good grasp on things. I turn to the guy with me and ask, “Hey, do you want to go outside and play?” I am thinking of flying and figure it would be fun to have some company since I still believe this guy is another dreamer. He nods and we step outside through the patio doors to a back deck.

The yard is fairly large and has a privacy fence. I can see a busy road just beyond that and pickup passes by. Together we jump off over the railing trying to fly but we both have trouble. We hover just above some thick brush with razor-wire on top. Though I know that I am dreaming and believe that if I just land I will pass through the brush, I fear the razor wire. I flap my arms furiously and comment that razor-wire is a good motivator for flying. As I slowly make my way around the obstacle I have thoughts of waking. I try to force it away as I know this will be enough to end the dream. As I push past my Astral buddy, the dream fade away and I wake up. My recall is exceptionally slow and it takes several minutes to remember this dream. Worrisome!

#324 – DEILD – 5:46AM

I have a bad dream about my dad stepping around in my garden. I become overly angry and shout horrible things at him. He doesn't seem to understand what's doing on and I complain to my mom.

I wake and enter DEILD. This time I say a mantra and focus on forming energy in my hands. Within a few seconds I notice that my hands are moving back and forth really fast. I know that I have entered the dream and it feels natural to open my dream eyes. I note my physical eyes feel shut but also open and I stare at the ceiling for a moment suddenly unsure if it's the dream or reality. The early morning light is filtering in the window and all seems super realistic, but I note the feel of my body. It has a physical quality but also numb like I've applied Novocain all over. Rather than worry too much about this, I decide to get up out of bed. Instead of my usual transition, I have to make all the necessary movements as in waking life. The numbness is really noticeable here, but I get too caught up on it; I am too excited to attempt the Meteor Task Of The Month.

I step out the front door and see the sun rising in the east. The amount of light is just enough that I don't have to struggle to see for once. For some reason, I am really surprised how pleasantly cool the air feels. Why did I think it would be hot? I chuckle and comment something out loud. To start up the task, I begin looking around at the sky with expectation. I try to imagine and visualize a fireball plummeting to the Earth but nothing forms. I even try making fiery sounds with my mouth, but sounds really lame and kiddish. The steet is empty of all traffic and people and the clouds seem extra colorful and fluffy. I am tempted to try flying, but I remain focused on the task.

I decide to walk around the area some still expecting a meteor. I notice that I haven't taken a step this whole dream. I just glide everywhere. Somehow, this gives me a though to Hulk jump to a new area, but it becomes more of a puny moon hop. I try flapping my arms to try to gain more height and I only hover a few feet in the air. Ok I give up.

Whatever travel took place during all this, was actually more that I had thought as I am now in front of the high school stadium, several blocks away. There are no people around, save for an middle aged Asian woman behind a classic lemonade stand. I can't see what she is selling but she is wiping down the counter as if trying to keep busy. I think maybe I will ask her to summon the meteor for me as I cross the street. When I am near enough to speak, she doesn't look at me though I feel she saw me. Before I can open my mouth, I see a bright fiery flash of light to my left. Realizing that of course no words are necessary, I smile and wave at the woman and turn to the meteor impact.

There's a blue and white townhouse on fire opposite of the stadium and several people are running around making a huge commotion, but no one seems to know what to do. I glide over to the house and stop at the unpainted picket fence. A man seems overly frantic so I give him a job, “Hey. Why don't you go call 911?” The man nods and runs off. I shrug and float closer to the house, but something weird happens.

I am now standing in front of an extra large doll house that's nearly as tall as myself. I am amused and a little annoyed that the townhouse shrunk like this, but I think I can still finish the task. The entire thing still burning and the fire has become translucent and hardly noticeable. I see a large hole in the roof and another in the floor of the second level. I reach in to try to grab a the meteor though I don't really see it. It doesn't matter because it's like I am a ghost and my hand passes through anything I touch. An adolescent boy runs up, pushes past me and takes something out of the house. He turns to examine his cupped hands and I assume he grabbed the meteor as I look over his shoulder. I am surprised when I see he just has something like a large sliver of dark brownish glass like from a broken beer bottle. I hear a chiming noise that shatters all dream content. I wake, cursing myself for not silencing my cell phone before going to bed.

I thought to DEILD but there was too much light in the room and I could not go back to sleep.

#323 – WILDy DILDy ish – 3:36AM

After my alarm @3 I focus on relaxation and body awareness. I am not sure but I think I entered a dream about trying to WILD and had one of those in-dream-WILDs... I think. It's really fuzzy there but I distinctly recall the vibes and exit.

I fumble in the dark and see the kitchen from Luling. Oh man why? I don't want to be here. The area slowly lightens up but it still feels like night time. I remember to try a new take on stabilization and blindly feel around on the messy counter-top. I grab something like a cross between a cell phone and a cordless phone. I don't bother looking at it but keep it in my right hand, feeling every detail while I explore the dream; like a continuous stabilization. The dream grows and I wander into the living room, making my way to the door. As I do, I wonder if I entered the past and had literal AP. I wonder if all the haunting was really just me visiting from the future. I dismiss it as a product of all the reading I've been doing.

When I step out the front door I hit a bit of void but I don't let it slow me down. I shout, “HELLOPMN” The left side of my lips seem stuck and it takes effort to free my jaw. I try again but with less enthusiasm, “Hello World.” I scoff at the throw back phrase from my programming days. The front yard forms but I am drawn to the street light since it is the only source of light. I do a check noting if my memory of the place is correct and it looks about right. Suddenly the dreams fades and I go into DEILD mode. I am disappointed when I realize how quickly I forgot about the phone.

My wife stirs next to me and the DEILD is slow. I briefly lose lucidity.

I find myself in the church and become lucid as I move about. I see a man and woman sitting in something like the nursery area. Still thinking like I am some disembodied spirit, I decide to prank them. I sneak between them and shriek loudly. The woman turns her head slightly to the man, “Do you hear that?”
I shriek towards the man. “Yeah what is that? They don't seem afraid enough so I poke and push at them. This scares them enough that they decide to calmly leave the room. Suddenly, I feel bad for doing all this in a church. I worry that God will punish me and decide I better leave as well. Silly dream logic, I know. I spy a viewing window into the sanctuary and phase out. There is a strange moment where my vision is obscured by dirty glass longer than it should. I have to focus to make it go away. I see a man in the hallway that looks like Ross from work. He asks me, “What organ do you play?”
My mother is standing there looking scandalized as she scoffs. I feel like he is being perverted and answer with disdain, “Uh, I play the guitar.”

I follow my mother outside and suddenly feel smaller and child like. I feel really energetic and start boucing around as we head back to the house. It's still night time as we meet my father. He's staring by the old Geo Prism he used to own, talking about going some place. I look the car over and see it's not quite right. I ignore it, because I am too excited about riding along. Still very child like, I shout “Yeah! Let's go!” I hop in the back and my parents get in. I watch my dad turned around looking back to pull out of the driveway. I notice he's turn around way further than normal, but again, I dismiss the dream glitch. I have a thought that the dream has been really long. I am impressed. Suddenly, I recall the basic TOTM to repeat what a DC says for as long as you can.

Me: Hey dad.
Dad: What?
Me: What?
Dad: What?
Me: What?
Dad: What?
Me: What?
How long is he going to keep this up? My father looks at my mother.
Dad: He keeps repeating me, hon.
Me: He keeps repeating me, hon.

I laugh as I repeat another phrase of his, I can't remember now because I am startled by his driving. He's a very bad driver in waking life and always scares the shit out of whomever is unfortunate enough to ride with. Anyway, we come to a 4-way stop but he does not appear to be slowing down. Out of reflex I shout, “DAD LOOK OUT!” I immediately realize my mistake as the quickly stops. I lost the game. “Oh man! You got me.” I chuckle at the whole thing. “Man you totally get me.”
My father just keeps asking what I am talking about. I realize I am feeling an object in my hand. Its a part from work. I try to focus on it as I continue the dream. I remember there is another task I wanted to try but I can't seem to remember. I get caught on this and forget about the object in my hand. I try to remember as I try to continue a conversation, but It's all too much and I lose focus on the dream. It fades and decide to go ahead and let it go.

#322 – DILD – 6:33AM

I just didn't have near the amount of focus I usually do. I seemed to be overly sleepy at WBTB and much of the morning. The details of the dreams have gotten fuzzy now.

I dream about a creepy movie (can't recall the details). I have a false awakening on the couch with my wife. We go outside and see a really small tornado. At the sight of it, I become lucid. I will the tornado to become bigger and let it suck me in. the dream goes dark and I enjoy flying and spinning around in the tornado.

Suddenly, I find myself in the front yard and begin rubbing my hands to stabilize. I decide to practice lightning magic from my hands. I get a few sparks but it wont come like I want. There are some down powerlines nearby so I grab on to one as a booster. I feel myself absorbing energy as the dream fades out again.

I lose lucidity to a false awakening. I'm in a house with some really annoying people people doing random crazy things. I think they must all be mentally ill. My cousin T is one of them. I ask my wife if we really have to stay here all weekend and she tells me we have one more day. I am really upset about this.

#321 – DEILD – 3:22AM

I wake at 3am and focus on body awareness and energy movement in my feet. I lose awareness briefly and come in and out with some semi-lucid moments.

I wake and DEILD with body awareness. I see I am in my kitchen but there are cafeteria trays. Someone from work has one. I mistakenly see this as only HI as I take a tray. I decide that if I can fly and move my body I am dreaming. I start to hover on the tray as I walk forward. I nose plug and blow through.

I partially wake realizing my eyes are already open. I'm fairly certain it was not a false awakening and I see faces in the darkness. It's creepy but I take it as a good sign. Hypnagogia is still high. I close my eyes and quickly enter vibes.

I visualize movement and find myself in the living room. It's too dark but I see the cats running in a circle around me but it's really odd. Half of the circle is them jumping on the couch and running on the wall as they come around in front of me. I decide to play with them but they are too quick. On impulse, I grab a ceiling fan blade and hold on. There is pain in my hand but I quickly dispel the sensation. As I airplane around the room attached to the fan, I am able to stretch my body and swoop down at the cats but they are mostly hiding now. Against my will, I feel my face distort into something monstrous. I ignore that and try to feel as normal as I can, but the cats seem truly afraid now.

There is a light coming from my bedroom. I recall my goal of asking my subconscious a question and release the fan blade, gliding into the room. I see my wife and my double asleep in bed and find it very uncomfortable. I try my best to let that go. I land softly between the dream characters and pat my double on the stomach. He slowly wakes up looking very startled. He starts to run but I quickly make comforting gestures and sounds. He seems to recognize what is going on and quickly calms down.
I say, “You're me right?”
Me nods, “Yes.”
I have a hard time remembering the question and I don't get it quite right. “Oh... Hey. What is the most important [thing] to you.
Me quickly answers, “Imagination”
I feel disappointed with the response, but I accept that right now it would be. Regardless, I wait a second longer hoping for more.
Me seems to think harder, “Uh uh and... Nintendo.”
I scoff at me and roll my eyes as I wake up. I always think of lucid dreaming as a video game.

#320 - DEILD - 10:29AM

We all some how had the luxury of sleeping really late. I had tons of dreaming so I'm gong to keep the dream details brief. The LD was really short anyway.

I am in the back yard but it's really huge. There was my normal garden and then an extra garden with tree like cherry blossom but it has thorns. A flower shoots a barb in my leg. I like how the extra garden is like a private hide-a-way. I tell my wife it needs work and we discus how to make it better.

I am on some business trip to California. S from work is with me. I see the sun setting on the ocean. On the balcony I notice how the building is only inches from the water. I see some garbage and two police cars buried in the sand. I have a conversation with S about this and snapchat it.
I turn around and now I am in S's house. I wonder the rooms feelins lost. They seem to keep changing. I finally get an idea of the layout. It's pentagon shaped. S says he needs to refurbish the house. I tell him it looks new but I think his choice of décor needs improvement.

I am outside and look up. There is a giant glass orb cutting though the clouds. At point and tell some people sitting on the ground. Its my wife and aunt G. Aunt G gets all weird and new age mystical on me. She's trying to decipher and ancient language about the glass orb. She believes they are aliens that visited long ago. I am in her house and she has symbols, pentagrams, crystals, dreamcatchers. Ect. Shes going on about some really strange ancient word. I marvel at how she went from Pentecostal missionary to this. I tell myself everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Suddenly Aunt G is wearing daisy dukes and a red tank-top. She has her normal face but a hot body. I feel awkward.

DEILD
I wake and relax my body the vibes hit and a scene forms before I even know what's happening. I am back in my garden. I am still in exit mode and decide to move. I take a step and realize I am already in a dream. I see various strange plants growing. There's something like lettuce but it looks all distorted. I put it right and the dream ends.

#319 - WILD – 4:18AM

I had two DEILD vibrations in SP but there was lingering fear from the previous dream and I didn't get far with it. It's close to WBTB to time so I go ahead and get up and take galantamine

I am in a place much like Braum's or Dairy Queen. I am in line at the counter and I need to order a cheeseburger for my son. My phone rings and I answer. It's the restaurant asking what my complaint was. I tell them I have none... yet. The woman on the other line is talking nonsense and I eventually hang up. I see that I am being skipped over by the employee at the counter. I jump in and tell the young lady that I want a Jr. cheeseburger. I realize that I had been drinking a soda while on the phone and want more. I reach for one and the lid looks jacked but I drink it anyway. It tastes really good. I see a Jr. cheeseburger on the counter with the lettuce and tomato spilled out. There's no wrapper. I hope that wasn't mine because I'm not paying for that. I hear snoring. I'm not lucid but I wonder if it's really someone sleeping in the restaurant or if it's coming from.... somewhere else. I focus on the sound and wake up.

It takes some time to get situated and I into WILD mode.

After awhile the vibrations start. I feel stuck but I slowly manage to get up. My body feels weak and falls back on the bed. I force myself to get up again and fall to the floor. I don't understand this and feel frustrated. There's a sensation of water and I focus on it.

I am in the bathtub. The water is running and there is a faint sound of it. It's dark in the room but some moonlight is coming in the window. I slide on my bottom back and forth intensifying the water sensation and letting the sounds fill my ears. The dream is pretty stable; it's just dark. I shout, “LIGHTS!” but nothing happens. Then a little less enthusiastic, “A little light in here please.” Nothing. The water stops. I reach and turn the knob. It's cold but the feeling of 'wet' is so vivid. I adjust the knob and the water is warm. I note how realistic this all seems.

I become bored and recall the music TOTM. I drop all dream sensation and willingly enter the void. I announce myself but as I start speaking it turns into another voice. I see Arsenio Hall speaking into a mic but his voice sounds a little off.
“LAAAAADIES AAAAND GENTELMEN. WELCOME MASTER DJ MIKE IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HOOOUSSSEEE!”
I realize I am walking in a club but not on stage. I am heading to the bar. There are green and pink neon lights on the walls and the room is sort of small. I take it all in a little shocked at my creation. I remember my part and keep on walking. I reach the bar and feel all eyes are on me. Not knowing how to play this off, I say, “Hey! I'm DJ M.I.K.E. To the C!!! Ya'll ready to paaaarrtty?” (lame I know but it was on the fly )
I am answered by a whooping from the audience but it sounded like not very many people joined in.
“ Hey bartender I'll take a 5th of vodak. Oh ya'll have to be more excited than that. That was kind of weak.” The bartender gives me a look but reaches under the counter for something. I laugh. “Nah nah I'm just kidding. I just want one drink. Like a beer.” The bartender gives me a polite nod.

I suddenly wake but stay calm and DEILD back in. I tell myself the dream beer doesn't matter. I wasted time when I should have been getting busy.

I blindly reach for a mic and a turntable and the physcial sensations are immediatly vivid. I make a basic beatbox into the mic and set it to loop. It sounds really weak at first but I turn some knobs and flip some switches and some techno music fills in. It sounds really good now and I hear the crowd cheer. I am encouraged by this and get really excited. My vision is still dim but I can now see the mixing board. I continue on, adding various sounds with the mic to the overall sound of the music. It becomes very much like dubstep and sounds really amazing and vivid. I enjoy this for quite some time and begin to dance, jerky and spastic. I wonder how the audience would react but I don't care much; It matches the beat and feels good. This doesn't last long though. I eventually jerk my physical body waking myself up.

#318 - DILD - Time not recorded

I don't recall the first part of this dream but I am in my house while my parents are visiting. I randomly look out the window at the sky. I see what if first think of as the daytime moon, but as I focus on it I realize it's all wrong. It looks to have been drawn out with fine wisps of cloud and looks like a representation of Earth. I question reality and instantly know that this is a dream.

I remember that I had some task in mind involving a DC. (basic TOTM of Jedi mind trick.) I can't seem to remember what it was so I do the first thing I can think of. I float around the living room on what feels like an invisible platform. I enjoy the sensation as I circle around the others in the room. As I do this, I begin to spell everyone's name, my wife, son, and parents. For some reason I am impressed with myself for having the cognitive ability of correctly spelling everyone's name with ease in a lucid dream. I am especially proud when I spell my father's name, Claudey. When I get done with every, I stop and turn putting my hands out like "Tada!". The dream characters seem unimpressed and I wake up without warning.

I have many other dreams but every time I wake I am too worried about forgetting this lucid to try DEILD or any other induction.

#317 - DEILD Chain - 5:00AM

I awaken from a dream where I am at a high school basketball game. I try to find a seat in the bleachers but I see no familiar faces. I feel lonely.

I DEILD by focusing on relaxing every muscle in my body. The vibrations start quickly and transition just as easy. I focus on seeing my pregnant stomach. It seems to have grown but feels like I am just pooching it out. Its dark in the room but moonlight is filtering through the blinds as it usually does in waking life. As I walk out I see my shadow on the wall. I look really pregnant now. I'm not sure why I leave the bedroom. Maybe its just habit but I want to find a place to give birth.

The living room is just as dark and the dream seems just slightly unstable. I rub my hands and clap while focusing on what the house looks like in the daytime. This usually works but not this time. I try the light switch several times but it doesn't work either.I see a light coming from my sons room. I am now on my hands and knees feeling the floor for stabilization. I start to go in there but feel the dream slip.

I'm not sure if I wake or just dream that I am back in my bed but I go through the DEILD processes. I remember the OBEs seems to be more literal so this time I focus on visually entering the dream.
I think I hear my wife talking and I become irritated that she is waking me up. I say, "Alysha, what the fuck?" I feel like I actually spoke in my sleep and woke myself a little. My wife turns over and mumbles something. I'm not sure if this was dream or waking life.

I go into DEILD mode anyway and accidentally let my awareness slip a little. Fortunately, I come to full lucidity again when a scene materializes before me.

I am standing just outside the bedroom. Its still dark but this time the bedroom light is on. I return to bed for the birthing process. My wife is laying awake. I ask for her help as I lay down. I take a second to look for my double. My side is clear and I'm glad.

My wife gets up and starts cleaning or doing some task. I am focused on my stomach. Its flat again and I have to will myself to look pregnant. Once satisfied, I start pushing but if feels like going to the bathroom. I let out a few dream farts making me wonder about my physical body. This isn't working. I feel my crotch and clothing. I get naked and try to imagine a vagina while pushing. No good. I feel normal down there. Ok its C-Section time.

I ask my wife to cut me open and she gives me that look that I get when I'm being a dork. I use expectation to get her to cooperate while I focus on my belly again. I begin to use some emotion and think of this a little differently. Unfortunately, sci-fi movies enter my mind. I think of the Shit Weasel from Dreamcatcher and the Chestburster from Alien. My stomach starts churning and I see something with a long slender face pushing out against my flesh. I moan the words, "It's an alien."

My wife appears with an x-acto knife and begins to make a cut. My skin seems extra tough and the blade catches a bit then flicks off making a gross sound. It reminds me of trying to cut up a whole chicken with a dull knife. I see that even-though she hasn't really cut me, there is a nice scoring on my skin. I push and press trying to open it up but it doesn't work. I tell Alysha that she will have to cut really deep this time. She makes another cut and this time she opens me up.

I have a open cavity just above my bellybutton about six inches long with very little blood. Inside, I see something like a thick, congealed blood clot to the left and the other side has white-ish looking flesh like a part of my intestine or stomach. I don't see anything else in there and I assume that I will have to go deeper to reach the Alien inside me. I realize this has gone horribly wrong and I wish that I had never attempted this task. This whole experience has become too much for me to handle and I begin to feel really sick and woozy. I want out. My vision begins to fade and I frantically pull myself out of the dream.

#316 - DILD - 6:00AM

I have a sex dream about my wife that turns into a false awakening. I am in some unfamiliar bedroom with a large mirror above the nightstand. I notice that I am fully dressed and assume that I must have sleepwalked while dreaming the sex dream. The thing that gets my attention is how oddly I am dressed. I am wearing a white lab coat with a really short, blue windbreaker. The windbreaker has button straps on the shoulders, but the left side has a small stuffed monkey attached to it. I completely crack up at this. I laugh so hard that my stomach hurts and my eyes look red and watery. I tell my wife how funny this all is and Then my sister in law comes in the room and I tell her all about it still laughing. They both seem uninterested.

I decide that I absolutely have to take a picture of myself and pull out my phone. The phone doesn't seem to be working properly but I manage. When I take the picture, I notice the monkey has vanished. All of this makes me realize that I am dreaming. I remember that I have been trying to study faces more in waking life to make better dream characters. This makes me suddenly curious to study my own face in the mirror, but my sister in law starts talking really loud and I find it so annoying that I can't concentrate. (She would) I will her to be silent but I must have tried too hard because now both Dcs have left. I feel that I am alone in the room and that's fine; it's quite. My reflection dream character looks completely normal and legit. I'm really impressed with the vividness but decide to move on.

I leave the mirror and head down a hallway but the dream starts to fade out. I am not ready to let the dream go so I do some mad hand rubbing. Sadly, Its not working and I slowly wake up.

I'm still trying to hold on to the dream so I don't move a muscle and focus on relaxing my body. This allows me to DEILD right away into the void. I have a falling sensation, then feel myself floating and slowing spinning as if in zero G. My back has been hurting in waking life and I am pleased that it feels light and painless. I let out and exaggerated sigh of relief. I worry that my wife will hear, but let that go since I am obviously dreaming again. I sigh loudly once more to prove the point to myself. Then I have other curious thoughts like wondering if I am in Tonic REM or NREM. I tell myself I just need to wait it out. I have a memory gap after this and find myself in another false awakening.

I hear the break buzzer at work. I sit up and look at a clock. Its 2:00. When I stand up, I see that I was sleeping on a pallet on the floor in my old department. I find it shocking that I actually got away with this. I stagger to the break room feeling really groggy and sleepy. Something is not right... Not only do I recognize this dream sign, but I also remember that I left this department not long ago and my vision is really distorted. I fall to the floor looking around for some visual stability. My eyes lock on a face. The more I stare the more clear and vivid is gets. It's a young attractive blond woman. I don't feel any desire for her, but I lock my eyes on her because shes all I've got. As I watch her walk past, I notice I have tunnel vision, but can clearly see that she is wearing a white lab coat that reads “photo”. We are in Wal-Mart and I assume she works at the photo lab. Our eyes meet and she gives me a bland expression and continues walking past not bothering to talk to me. I need some interaction so I say something flirty to her. She turns to look at me over her shoulder but is still not interested. It's almost as if she seems to sense my presence but doesn't hear or see me. I say, “What? Are you just going to ignore me?” Then, the dream is suddenly interrupted by my alarm clock.

#315 - DEILD/OBE - 4:14AM

I wake and go to DEILD mode. I focus on relaxing my body and soon vibrations start. They are really weak at first but the more I relax and focus the deeper I get. I feel my body fade away as I focus on lifting up and out. As I transition I feel forces pull and turn me this way and that. There is some fear that astral beings are attacking me but I remember that the cause of this is that I have been reading too much nonsense in search of a more consistent technique for WILD. I tell myself that this is all in my mind and focus on seeing. I have the sensation of slowly opening my eyes and find myself standing over my night stand. I look at my hands as they rest there. I begin hand rubbing as I make my way out of the house. Darkness returns and I try voice commands. In a rich, velvety radio voice I loudly say, "Stabilization now. Visualization now." as I peer into the darkness.

I am now standing on my front porch. It seems to be a bright sunny day and I take a look around. I notice that though my vision has cleared I am still a little nearsighted. I turn to explore and see the neighbors north of me now have a larger house made of brick. I see a man in the yard doing some type of work. He looks a little like CL but I don't think I know him. I walk over to him and shake his hand. I say, "Hi. How are you?"
He responds something pleasant but I am not listening. I am focused on how solid and real his hand feels in mine. I see something like a short square sliding glass patio door on the side of his house. I tell the man, "I am going to phase through your window now." The man seems really nervous and afraid as he follows as I dive, phasing through the glass. I look behind me. He has to physically open the small window/door and climb in.

I notice that I am standing on hardwood flooring that is in the process of being refinished. The fresh stain feels wet on my bare feet. The man seems upset about it so I tell him, "It's okay. I'm a ghost." I feel that should explain everything and wonder off to explore the house.

In the next room I see something like an open dumbwaiter. There's a little girl in an old fashioned dress playing in it. I feel like I should say something to her but all I think of is, "Give me a high five, nigga." I put my hand out and the girl tries to slap it but she goes right through me. I decide not to get caught up on this so I move on. I come to something like a kitchen/dining area. There's a weird spot were there is not enough room to walk past the oven without falling into a low section of the living room. I barely get past and suddenly feel mentally fatigued. I have a strange feeling like all of this is too hard to hold in my mind and I am forced to let it go as I wake up.

The Interview - NLD - 6ish

I later have a non lucid that the night shift lead, Lucy, is at the Joplin Globe having a job interview in the front lobby. I am sitting in a rocking chair feeling very sleepy. I close my eyes to dose off but shake myself awake. There is something on the TV. The interviewer seems very impressed with Lucy and hints that she is pretty much hired. "But first lets make this look good on paper." He gives her forms to fill out and asks her more questions. I do some visual awareness noticing Lucy's face. The details are very vivid with no abnormalities. The TV is demanding my attention now. I see Johnathan Taylor Thomas in a Santa suit. I find this odd but my wife walks up and explains it all. "Christmas in July." I wake to the alarm.

#314 – MILD – 4:32

I used a different version of MILD combined with a super quick WBTB and caffeine. This time instead of visualizing becoming lucid in a dream I visualized a stabilization technique of hand checks and rubbing. Basically its the same but I'm not doing tons of imagining. Usually I'm too tire or lazy to get very far with it but this was quick and simple.

I have a false awakening that I'm sleeping in the back yard. It seems that I have rolled in my sleep and ended up under the back deck. I see something like tent material and make the connection to camping. I remember that I was trying to get lucid and induce an in-dream-WILD.

I wander toward the alley doing long slow hulk jumps. I'm not quite sure if I am fully dreaming but after I easily clear the privacy fence I assume I am. I do another jump and land in Marvin's yard. He has a small dog that looks a lot like my mini dachshund tied to a stake. The dog keeps jumping on my leg and I find it very annoying. I try to fly away but I am stuck in long slow jumping mode. I try flapping my arms really fast but I only manage to hover slightly out of reach. I decide to just land and walk away but when I do I, my legs get tangled in the dog's chain. I try to walk it off but the chain grows with each step. I stop and manually untangle the chain from my legs. When I do, the small dog suddenly looks like my Australian Shepard that I gave to my ex during the divorce. The dog, being much larger now, crowds me and I push her away. I say, “There you go, Tybee.”

Before the dog can bother me again, I instinctively climb a nearby tree. As I move up, I realize that I am climbing with claws like a cat (felt rather than seen). That that realization causes my cat, Stella, to appear just before me. I pay over her saying something nice to her. I pause now thinking that I had actual goals rather than being a cat. I try so hard to think but frustratingly I draw a blank. I am afraid this will wake me so I say out loud, “Fuck goals.” I briefly wonder if I want to put that word in my DJ. (Fuck it. I do. Ha!)

I turn my head toward my house considering if I want to go there. Suddenly, I am laying in the threshold from my kitchen. I notice the kitchen is dark but the dining/living room is well lit. I crawl froward not sure what I'll do next. I stop when I hear the alarm clock and my son crying. I am amazed that all this noise is bleeding into my dream but not actually waking me. That thought gives me another false awakening. I watch the scene turn black and assume I am waking. (Classic Xanous mistake!)

I am now lying on my stomach in bed. I wonder about this since I NEVER sleep on my stomach. I wonder if it helps lucidity so I keep that in mind to try later. I don't hear the alarm anymore so I look at the clock. The numbers are green instead of the usual red and it reads 4:28 (SURPISINGLY ACCURATE TIME!) I think this is odd and wonder what's going on. Before I can put 2 and 2 together. I see my aunts (mother's sisters) standing in my room dressed in running clothes. The are talking about getting ready for a running event. Joyce says something about sewer issues and they will have to run in all that stench. I feel anxiety and worry that I should be getting ready to run too. I start to ask what time the race is but stop when I figure I'll probably be working anyway. I hear my son crying again and this time I actually wake up.

I feel wakeful now and worry about insomnia. I just decide to sleep expecting a LD rather than try WILD. I should have tried.

Jesus Freak - NLD - 6AM

I recall another vivid dream where I am some sort of grounds-keeper at a swanky hotel. As I am messing with some outdoor potted plants I hear a strange and wonderful version of Jesus Freak. The song brings back thoughts nostalgia and I enjoy what I hear though I really don't like Christian music anymore. I look at the band and thought there are lots of people around, absolutely no one is giving them any attention. The band stops playing and I hear one of the guys complain that every one is just ignoring them. They play again while I continue my task at hand. I take a plant into front of the hotel and notice the band is actually set up right in front of the entry way atop the large stone stairway. I have to walk past them but give a sympathetic smile as I weave my way past the musicians and instruments.
I put the plant down and decide to tell the complainer that I actually enjoyed the music. I understand the desire to make something for others to enjoy and needing someone to appreciate it. I walk to the drummer who is just sitting idle looking bummed. I wanted to tell him that I liked their version of Jesus Freak but I actually say, “I like your version of Ripleys....”
He cuts me off and says a quick, “Yeah thanks.”
I find that rude but chose to ignore it. I am more worried about saying the right thing. I stop and awkwardly laugh at my self feeling embarrassed. I say, “I mean Jesus Freak.”
All I get is another, “Yeah thanks.”
I walk away thinking, “I guess he knows already.”
The actual alarm wakes me at 6AM.