Xanous' Dream Journal

#298 - DILD - 4:20AM & 4:22AM

I had another good run with G and Menthol. 5 in a morning isn't bad at all, but the first LD was an immediate awakening so I'll only be counting 4. Still it was a whole lot of dreaming with multiple NLD's as well.

Someone from work is giving me a ride home. We talk about the house I live in (does not match waking life). We pass the house and have to turn around. I tell her there are two houses she could stop at but she chooses the first one. I get out of the car and feel funny. Actually, dizzy and sick (reflects wbtb). I wonder if the galantamine made me sick this time, but I think there's no way. I start wondering how long it has even been since I took it. I realize I must be dreaming but the dream crashes right away and I wake up.

I am a little confused looking at the time of DJ entry on my device. It seems that I either entered two dreams after a single awakening or I hit the next LD really quickly. Its also possible I opened the next entry right after I typed the first, giving it an incorrect time stamp. Surely, the next LD was longer than 2 minutes. Hmm.

I fail my WILD and have an FA. I hear the alarm go off. My wife jumps up and turns the alarm off. I see this around 2:30 in the morning. She says she's going to work at 3AM. This takes me by surprise and I know this has to be total BS. I become overly angry and we have a huge argument. I say some rude things that aren't worth mentioning.

I hear our son crying and suppose someone needs to check on him. As I start to get up, I hear thunder and strong wind outside. I look out the window and see all the siding has been ripped off the neighbor's house. I sit up a little more and see part of a tree branch has busted our storm window but hasn't penetrated the inner window. I say something about how I am surprised we never woke up from the noise. I tell my wife that I must be dreaming, but don't follow the thought through.

I decide to get up and take a look outside. When I get to the living room, I see several windows have busted. There is water and tree debris on the floor. I can' t understand how we slept through all of this so I do a quick nose plug. I become lucid when I blow through. I do a subtle dismissal gesture with my hand and step out of the destroyed living room into a restored version closer to waking life.

I see a small child about the age and size of my son running around. The only light in the room is coming from the TV. I play with the child some, but quickly realize it's not my son. I turn away and see some black and white mvoie on the screen. I remember my TV teleport goal.

I begin by pushing both hands into the screen. When both hands are to mid-forearm, I put my head in, and make a swimming motion to pull the rest of myself in. I become surrounded in a white void. I wait a moment, willing an image to form. When nothing happens, I back out for fear of crashing the dream. As I do, I keep a strong image of the living room in my mind.

I land on my back and stand up noting the feel of the hardwood on my hands. The child walks to me and I get an idea. I pick her up and decide to teleport her into the TV. I put both her feet in much the same way I did with my hands, then shove her all the way in.

The TV shows something like a commercial. The child is standing in the middle of a man and woman and holding both their hands. It's a close face shot of the child so I never see the faces of the other two dream characters. I notice she now has an old fashioned bonnet on that I find amusing. I wave at her and when she notices me, she begins crying. I feel bad so I quickly reach in and take her out. I briefly consider using this as a method of summoning in the future. When I set the child down again, she coos and laughs, looking content once again.

#297 - DILD - 7:35AM

I am at a bookstore like Hasting's or Books-A-Million. I have two books to purchase. I make my way to the registers, but all of them are closed. Frustrated, I look around and am surprised to see that there are two registers open behind me. I make my way to one feeling really dumb that I made such an obvious mistake. An attractive woman starts chatting with at the next register. I say something about how stupid I feel for not even seeing the open registers. She keeps talking and lightly flirting with me but I lose interest as it is now my turn to check out.

There's nice gray haired woman working the register. She scans my books. (I have no idea what the books looked like or what the titles were.) The little green display shows my total. The numbers are a little distorted but it reads $83 and some change. I stare closer at the display it seems blurry and I remind myself to get my eyes checked. I tell the lady that there must be some mistake. These books were on clearance and should have only totaled around $6. The lady looks the books over and agrees that I am right. I feel like the display is just broken so I ask her if I swipe my card, will it ask me to approve the total. She says it will so I fish in my wallet for my debit card. I become annoyed when I can't seem to find it. I pull out random fake looking cards and something like a library card. I even see my AutoZone Rewards card. I notice in my side vision that someone has walked up in line behind me. I apologize to the cashier and she assures me its not my fault. I tell her that I just can seem to get my stuff together.

Finally, I find my debit card and take it in hand. I look up at the total again and now it reads $90. I become a little suspicious that this could be a dream. I look down at my card and now it has changed into some other random card. I smile, and decide if this is a dream it will just work. When I swipe, The card reader displays an extremely long string of random numbers then, they all change counting up to nine the cycling back at zero again. Then, the entire screen scrolls lines of counting numbers at at such a high speed my eyes can't follow.

I laugh out loud at this totally convinced it's a dream. I look at the old cashier and say, "You know what? It's OK. I won't be needing these books after all. It's just a dream." She seems confused as I walk away to the glass doors. I notice she is following behind me so I stop and ask what she is doing. She says, "I'm getting your books."
I assume she's intending to give me some free books. I say, "No. You don't understand. It won't matter. I can't bring the books with me." She seems confused and looks away like she's not really listening. I take her face in both my hands so she has to look at me. "This is a dream. We are dreaming." She doesn't seem to understand but gives up on the books. I take her hand, shake it, and tell her I love her as a sort of apology.

I step outside and I looks like the same area that the old Hasting's was. I see a silver car sitting idle but I walk past it. I recall my goal to do the Jack and the Beanstalk task. I see a patch of earth near the sidewalk and asphalt and make my way to it. I reach into my pocket for beans but don't really feel anything. I decide to just fake it. With my other hand I dig a small hole in the ground. It's really wet and muddy making it really easy. I put the pretend beans in the mud and quickly cover it up.

I get close to the ground and look at the spot from a level side view. Right away I see three spouts. (Guess I thought Jack had 3 beans.) I chant grow grow grow and the sprouts quickly begin to get larger. I am amazed to see something grow so fast but knowing how big this is supposed to get I worry that it's taking way too long. I shout, "GROW FASTER!". It just continues at the same rate and is now only about 3 or 4 inches tall. I wait patiently hoping the bean stalk will get larger. Suddenly, I hear my son cry out in his sleep jerking me out of the dream.

#296 - DILD - 7:04AM

I am driving out of the parking lot in my car. There are a lot of people in the way I decide to lightly bump MJ with my car. I wave and sarcastically mouth, "Sorry." I decide to take the prank further and pull over waiting for her to pass by. I get out of my car looking for hers. I decide I will use TK to make a wheel fall off. I realize this is dream control and become lucid.

I lightly drum on my car waiting for MJ still intent on a little TK prank. Several cars pass by and marvel at how vivid and clear the dream is. I worry being idle too long will destabilize the dream. I decide go ahead and do my goal. I think what it was for a second. When I recall I shout, "Bean!" I reach into my pocket and pull out something solid and small. The sensation is dull but, it vaguely feels like three beans. I quickly press them into the grass and immediately wake up.

#295 - DILD - 6:05AM

I am sitting at work with a rifle at my desk. I have some shells and I am trying to determine if they are the right type. It seems to be a single loader with some oddities.

I suddenly feel extremely dizzy and sleepy with blurry, distorted vision and feel the need to lay down. I recognize this as dream sign and become lucid. I decide to go ahead and lay down to WILD hoping that I can jumpstart a new scene. As I lay down, I see a blurry watery vision of my co-worker, Joyce, looking down at me. I ignore her.

I quickly decide this tactic could backfire on me so I get up and rub my hands while I stomp around. Soon my vision clears up and I take walk looking around at the strange version of work. I think hard to recall my goal and I remember. I want to try the Jake and the Beanstalk TOTY. I decide not to bother with going outside to plant beans. I'll plant it into the floor instead.

I prep myself for a blind summon by chanting, "Beans, Beans, Beans, I got beans in my pocket. Beans in my pocket. Beans Beans Beans." I look around and see a nice open space in the building and head for it.

Unfortunately, I wake at this moment. I settle in to DEILD and get some mild vibes but I quickly fall into a non lucid dream about my mom nearly falling down concrete steps holding an infant.

#294 - DILD - 4:50AM

I fail my WILD and have several FAs were I was trying to WILD and got mild vibes but fell into non lucid dreams. Or did I actually have DEILD moments? Not sure, but this is what I recall.

I have some vibes but FA. There is some light outside and I wonder how so much time passed since my WBTB. I try WILD again and have another FA with vibes. I try to focus on visuals to avoid the OBE sensation.

I am playing hide and seek with my daughters in my old house. I know they went to the back yard so I run out the front and around the side to meet them in the back. I am bare foot and have to side step multiple piles of dog poo.

On the side of the house I see something like a Doberman chained up. It barks at my and I speak to it so it can recognize me in the dark. It calms down and I pet it. Its head feels like ice and I have some guilt for leaving a dog in the cold. I decide my cover is blown so I leave to sneak around the other side. When I reach the side gate I look back at the dog. I am shocked to see a naked woman with a collar and chain instead of a dog. She has her back to me gives me a sad look over her shoulder. I stumble away feeling like I am losing my mind. I wonder why I am hallucinating such odd things.

I have another FA or time passes and its a totally different dream. I have some vibe sensation again and find my self FA in a library. A librarian is looking for a book that is lost. I jokingly tell the librarian that someone stole the book and now it will come out of his check. I look to my left and see a beer bottle on a book shelf. Something reminds me that I was trying to get lucid. Maybe I chose the wrong place for it and I should go home where there are less distractions.

I see Sharon from work and she kisses my bye and tells me she loves me. I walk away feeling confused about this. In some random area of the building I see a hand sanitizer above a doorway with my name on it and "Murder 2007". I have no idea that is about adding to my confusion. I go back to thinking about the large black woman I am supposed to be married to. I recall my actual wife and wonder how I have two wives. I worry about the legality of it all. I realize I don't remember marrying Sharon and I certainly can't recall ever having sex with her. The thought makes me shutter.

I come to a half door and see Amanda from work sitting at a small desk. There is an electrical outlet on the door with two plugs and cords coming off it. I unplug whatever was plugged to it so I can open the door to get out. I wonder if Amanda had something there for a reason, but I couldn't help it. I look down and now realize I am in my underwear. I recall that this happens a lot because that actually all I am really wearing.

Now I understand that this is all a dream. I feel a little insecure stepping out into the parking lot in just my underwear but I ignore it. For some reason it helps me to think that I am in a music video. I bust open the door in a silent scream as some music begins to play as I run in slow motion.

Everything halts when I see some crazy looking man made of balloons tumbling toward me in the wind. I slap at the balloon man and I swirls into the air. I look into an unfamiliar parking lot and see a truck. I think it must have been for me to drive home and I head for it, but before I can even get close it disappears.

I begin to fly low to the ground rather than walk or run. I come to a park and see some people dressed in animal suits running around chasing each other. I say, "Oh cool! A Where The Wild Things Are Dream." I look down and visualize a costume of my own. Fake brown fur seems to materialize over my bare skin. I suddenly remember I had a goal but I can't seem to recall it. I don't want to collapse the dream so I put it aside for now. I zoom fly to the nearest "wild thing" and tackle it. My tackle turns into a dog pile and I quickly realize that this is just a normal person in a suit. I think, "Oh no, these are Furries!" and quickly get sucked into an orgy. I try to resist but I feel turned on and latch onto an anonymous woman.

I look away and see one of them just standing there. I ask, "What are you doing?"
The person replies, "I only want one."
When I ask which one, the person says, "The most submissive."

Mercifully, I wake up at this point.

#292 - DILD - Time?

I blew past my WBTB and woke some time later. I didn't check the clock but it was turning light outside. I decided to focus on lucidity not really sure what tech to use. I fell asleep almost instantly but still managed a DILD. It was short and I almost forgot it but I was pleased I didn't need supplements for once.

I am in some building that looks like a mixture of my house and some office building with huge open windows. There are several levels and I make my way to ground floor. I am with some people discussing business and I find myself wishing I was in a dream. I look out the glass and see a serene view of a vast lake. I think how nice it would be to phase out and fly away from this boring conversation.

Slowly, I convince myself that I am, in fact, dreaming right now. I feel attached my obligations of the moment and almost have to lie to myself that it was all a dream and the men in suits no longer matter. I force myself to just let go and believe. I feel unsure as I risk looking crazy heading for the large wall of glass. I easily float up, phase through the window, and rise into the sky. Fully believing now, I become giddy and dive back into the room past the people and out through the window on the other side of the building. I do this several times until I decide to really go flying. Once up a ways, I lose my scene of direction and find myself lost in a type or blurry void. I wonder if I should go back into the building and interact with someone to stabilize but the dream collapses and I settle in to DEILD. Unfortunately, I fail and only remember a few vivid non lucid fragments for rest of the morning.

#292 - DILD - Time Unknown

I don't remember the beginning of this dream but I know I am caught up in the emotion of it. I enter a public bathroom and see 3 or 4 large burly men enter behind me. I recognize them and know them. There is bad blood between us and I know why they followed me.

Suddenly, I realize I am dreaming and feel invincible. I decide to get this over with and fly straight into attack mode. I punch one in the jaw and then punch the side of his face with the other fist, slamming him hard to the floor. I upper cut the next guy and slam the palms of both my hands into his midsection causing him to fly hard into a tiled wall. I think all this is too easy and unrealistic so I allow the next guy to get some hits. There is no pain but my vision becomes jumbled and I feel like someone has my hands restricted behind me. OK thats enough. I blindly throw some punches connecting with ease. The fight is now over and I have to focus to see again.

I am looking at a large wall mirror. My appearance changes several times into people I do not recognize. I don't worry too much about it and feel more interested in summoning a gun. I never get to shoot in dreams. I blind summon an Uzi and shoot at the glass. I get the effect of blasting holes and shattering glass but the mirror also stays in tact as if there is a impenetrable second layer underneath.

I decide I want to burn the place down to hide the evidence and any possible fingerprints. (Why do I always worry about fingerprints in LDs? ) I think, flamethrower, and begin shooting unrealistic and unconvincing flames all over the restroom. I feel as if I have to pretend as I go but push through until I feel satisfied.

I move to the exit and look outside. Peeking around the brick, I see a small and empty lot surrounded by chainlink fence and thick forest beyond. To the left, I see the begining of a street. I hear police sirens in the distance and imagine several cop cars racing toward my location from a nearby highway. I exit right across some pavement, summon something like a bolt cutter, slice a rip in the fence, and jump into the thicket. I slide down a muddy hillside feet first and begin running along a path in the forest. I enjoy the feeling of effortless running. The muscles in my legs stretch and tense with each pounding stride but I feel no fatigue. It's a nice feeling.

During my run, I lose lucidity. I begin thinking about how I could live off the land and stay here for an extended period. I see a dying skunk in a vegetation pile and consider eating it. I have some internal dialogue and quickly decide it's a bad idea. I come to a burned out old brick building with parts of the wall missing. I decide to make camp here and lay down on a soft bed of dried leaves. I am suddenly exhausted and try to sleep.

I think about how I should call my mom and let her know where I'll be for awhile. I imagine what I will tell her as I rehearse my conversation with her. I think I will tell her that I am in the state forest and I can live off the land. I'll probably stay for about 4 years like Tom Hanks on Castaway. I don't have a job anyway so it's really probably best this way but it's going to get so lonely here. I think I could probably steal a cow from a nearby farmer but figure that's a lot of meat all at once. I think that if I steal any livestock I should get a goat for milk. I see all of this in my mind like a vivid daydream.

I briefly wake and fall back to sleep before I can DJ.

#291 - WILD - Time Unknown

I wake from a failed WILD attempt, roll over, adjust, then watch HI. After a few moments I get a vivid image of being in Best Buy. I say to myself, "This is a dream." Suddenly the scene goes from being just a static image to an actual subversive environment. The feeling was like stepping to a painting. As always I am filled with and intense sense of awe and wonder.

I begin walking and realize I have a sledge hammer in each hand. I hear and feel then hit the floor with each step like I am using them for canes or walking sticks. The situation feels awkward and let it go.

Unfortunately, my vision is far too blurry and I try different techniques to clear things up. First I shout, "Clarity now!" as I clap my hands. Nothing improves so I try a technique that I have been pondering over for a while. I blind summon some glasses and put them on. I get spots of clear vision but it doesn't last. Not wanting to waste too much time on this, I decide to just move on and not worry too much about my vision. As I walk around taking in the dream, I begin to feel euphoria as I enjoy just being lucid in a dream. It has been way too long.

I remember my goal to try some ice magic but decide I should wait for the dream to clear up. I wander around looking a different displays and items. I come to a section that starts to look like a clothing section at Wal-Mart. Something about this feels unstable so I turn back. I come to an open laptop with a strange symbol and a space to enter a password. I begin striking random keys believing that whatever I type will be correct but nothing seems to be working. I feel some instability and think I should move on. At that thought, the laptop vanishes.

I continue on and see many flat screen TVs on a wall. Some begin to look like super large tablets. I say, "Hey. Those are tablets." I think that if I turn can turn one on I could enter into a new scene. Before I can do anything the dream fades out and I wake slightly.

I try to enter my dream into my DJ but quickly realize this is still a dream. I decide not to worry to much about forgetting and try to relax into a new scene. Unfortunately, I lose lucidity and don't remember much else.

#290 - DILD - 7:18AM

After a long bout of insomnia I finally get lucid again. I totally wasn't myself in this one.

The first thing I recall is sitting in the back seat of a car. There are two hot women up front looking back at me. Somehow I become lucid and order the women to give me oral. The older one goes right to it as the other turns away. For some reason I think they are mother and daughter. The awkwardness fades with the pleasure and I close my eyes.

I have an FA where I am in bed doing pelvic thrusts into the air. I still feel pleasure so just let it happen. I begin to feel like someone is watching me so I stop. I look around and see that I am in my old bedroom at my parents old house in WC. The door is cracked and I assume someone is there. My mother walks in saying something and takes my son who must have been sleeping next to me. I begin to feel really embarrassed now and hope that no one noticed what I was doing in my sleep.

She leaves and now I am in bed alone. I still feel really tired and roll over to go back to sleep. I decide to check the time and see its 9:06AM. I feel like I still have some sleep time and decide to WILD laying on my stomach with my face over the edge of the bed. I never do this in waking life. I reflect on the other LD I had and laugh that I totally thought I was sleeping in my own house. I decide this is proof that OBEs are just based on expectations. I was confused here.

Suddenly, I feel like I am lying on my back and decide this is a sign that the dream has started. I'm lucid but I totally don't get that I had an FA or the fact that my parents don't even live here anymore. I get up and exit the room.

A very young version of my oldest niece has come up the stairs to go to the bathroom. I feel amped up and crazy and I play with her roughly by play fighting with her. I end up beating her up and kicking her down the stairs. As she falls I fly past her kicking her on more time. It was accidental but I don't worry about it since none of this is even really happening.

Downstairs, I see my younger sister sitting at a computer desk. I yell and make crazy noises but she doesn't see or hear me. I think maybe I am like a ghost and decide to try to scare everyone. My dad is sitting on the cough with my son. I slap him on the stomach three times. He doesn't see me but he feels it. He just looks at my son with a really shocked expression. I run around screaming and "spiderman" up a wall by the front door. I leap off and grab at the ceiling fan. It's on full speed and I slip off one of the blades landing next to my mom. I shout in her face. She sees me but instead of reacting negatively, she looks deep into my eyes and says, "Son, I love you so much."
I immediately calm down. I notice right away that something is off with her appearance. Her eyes are all black with no white, but I blow it off as dream weirdness. I just doesn't bother me , but perhaps it should have. I reply, "I love you too, mom." I kiss her on the cheek and walk away.

I head toward the back door to go exploring but I suddenly wake up before I get there.

#289 - WILD - 4:37AM

I watch the visuals until I notice mild vibes. I focus on it and it become a little stronger. I begin to feel like my body was in a awkward position so I slowly try to adjust while maintaining the vibes. It was probably all my dream body but all I could think was, "Oh great. I'll have to endure the whole dream being uncomfortable."

Suddenly, my wife gets up stopping the vibes. I think at this point she has woke me up. She comes to my side of the bed and starts washing her hands with some sort of paint thinner. I notice I have something like dried glue on my hand and start peeling it off. I comment something about why we have glue on our hands, then I realize This is fake.

My wife disappears and the dream goes visually dark. I try to do my normal transition but it feels like I am moving my physical body. I'm afraid of waking myself up because I feel like I am very lightly sleeping and I can hear the box fan clearly. No worries I'll just visualize. I think about walking in the living room and I am suddenly there with all the lights in the house on.

I pace around still feeling like I need to get more in the dream, but looking back I think I was too worried about it. I wander to the kids room and see the door is open. A lot of the furniture is missing and I see a green beanbag and some clothes scattered around. There's a small tabby kitten pouncing around. I reach to pet it as I look away and back. Now the kitten is calico. I begin to hear my daughters laughing like they do when they are up to no good. I look around for them as I pick the up the kitten that is now pure white. After a moment of searching I think they must be hiding in the closet. I open the door and toss in the kitten fully expecting one of my daughters to appear. The closet is dark and mostly empty with no little girls. I still hear the laughing and now It's starting to creep my out. I decide it's best to leave. I walk into the next room and use TK to close the bedroom door and lock it. The kitten squeezes under the tiny crack under the door and pads next to me. It's still white.

I suddenly remember my goal and forget about the kitten. I look around and see some partially painted pictures on the wall. I float up intending to finish one but it disappears. I pause a moment listening. I can still hear the box fan and feel that I am still barely in the dream. I try not to worry about it too much and go back to painting. I chose to just paint directly on the blank space on the wall. I blind summon a brush without much effort and begin painting a mountain scene. Unfortunately, the paint isn't cooperating and I have trouble getting anything to stay on the wall. I eventually get a basic mountain painted and realize its red and orange. I kind of like the look of it and decide to call it done as the void over takes me.

I am not ready to wake and decide to wait it out until the next dream forms. I decide to entertain myself by turning upside down and swinging back and forth by my feet. The swings are exaggeratedly huge and I can hear the wind in my ears on each pass. After a moment, I decide that I better try to visualize something.

Something forms but I begin to feel really confused and worry that my lucidity is slipping. I force myself to wake up.

#288 - DILD - After 6:30AM

OK I'm busy so I'll leave out some details. When my wife left for work I decided to try WILD but I fell asleep too fast. Luckliy I hit a DILD.


I am swimming at my brother's. My nephew keeps doing dives off the diving board. I do a few myself and then talk to my bro. As I am talking I notice visual oddites about my nephew but don't follow the thought. I decide to dive some more but before I get on the board I look up as I have a habit of doing. I notice it's getting very dark and I notice the stars. I begin to see constellations connected by lines and then the actual drawings like you see on a sky map.



I realize I am dreaming but I am fascninated with the sky to take much control. For some reason I decide to pull my phone out with and open my sky map app to see the names of constellations. I focus on some of them so that I can remember it later. Unfortunately I never wrote anything down until now so I can't remember then all. I know that one says something like Leo (SOCHI). I feel the dream fading and assume I am waking up but I only lose lucidity.

The only thing I recall next is sitting on the cough laughing that I dreamed a constellation with the name Sochi in it.

Much later I have a dream that I an looking at the moon during the day and notice there a swiriling clouds coming off it. I want to understand why this is happening but also want to document it. I pull my phone out and snapchat it to everyone. My cousin's wife shows up and I point out the moon to her. We talk about this for a while. I feel like I am missing something important.

#287 - WILD - 4:30AM

After a good hour plus of wakefulness I manage to calm myself to WILD. Strong HI starts. I see a woman handing me a cube with a long erect wire like an impossibly thin blade. I think of the Variable Sword from Ringworld. The woman wants me to follow her and I was supposed to do something but the vision fades.

Suddenly I am gripped with SP sensations. The gravity has shifted and I feel like I am in OBE mode. Everytime I try to transition, I hear a loud indescribable, sci-fi sucking sound with the feeling of being pulled back into my body. My vision of the dream room is blurred and it seems like I can see part of the room being warped with the suction. I feel a type of mental exhaustion with the effort and let it take me back. I am determined to get out and I try again, but to the same effect, though I think this time I last a little longer. I experience lots of G-forces and acceleration each time. I continue trying to escape each time a little farther. At one point, I reach the window and begin to phase. I feel myself pass through, but my vision is as though I am only pressed against it. This causes confusion and I feel like my physical eyes are opening (they weren't). I realize that I can feel something at my belly button and see the infamous "silver cord" for the first time. I find this astonishing and give into the suction taking back to my body.

I open my actual eyes feeling fully wake. I decide it's time change tactics and stop focusing on my body and start focusing on HI.

Within what feels like only a few seconds I see a woman running. I grab at the waist and holding on tightly. The dream feels thin and I am desperate to lock myself in. I say, "Help me." I get a view of large breast under a grayish blue shirt and white undershirt or tank-top. She has a hold of me as well dragging me along. I am pulled into an elevator and I stand up.

I look at the woman more closely and she turns from brunette to blonde and then looks like my ex. I feel like I need to get physical stability so I kiss her neck without sexual intent. In fact, I worry this may cause unwanted dream sex. She pulls back wordlessly disgusted. I decide that was the wrong action and turn away embarrassed. when I do, I see the elevator door has opened and we exit.

I look around and see that I am in a hospital. Maybe now I can finally figure out what all these hospital dreams have been about. I decide this is my goal for this dream. I get the feeling that this woman, who doesn't look much like my ex anymore, wants me to follow her to the left but I feel like I am supposed to go right. It doesn't make sense and I hesitate. I feel a strong need to go right, but decide I should go with the woman since she was helping me. As soon as I make the chose to go left, I wake.

I DEILD easily and now I am coming to a dead end in a branch of the hospital. There is a patient's room with an open door. I see an old and dying man lying in a hospital bed. It's slightly elevated and a lamp on the other side of him casts a sharp silhouette on the curtain. this feels wrong so I turn around. I wake.

DEILD. I see the blonde going another direction in the hospital. I start to follow her but I see the elevator I came from down a hallway to the left. I am drawn that way again. I should have listened to my instinct. This is why I keep waking up. I forget about the woman and head the way I should have went all along.

I pass the elevator and come to a nurses station. A red headed nurse in an old style uniform and hat is standing there. She seems to recognize me and hurriedly points farther down. Saying, "It's Brett Barside. In there!" I feel the need to hurry and rush into the only room I see in the direction she is pointing. I pause at the door and double check the name.
BRETT BARSIDE
I am not sure what I am supposed to do, so I quickly enter the room unprepared. I see a small boy lying unconscious on a bed on his left side. I feel love, pity, compassion, and anxiety for the sick child. I don't know him, but I have some sort of emotional connection to him like I should know who he is. I lay next to him and hug him, telling how much I love him. I tell him that I am here for him, but he never stirs or responds in anyway. I shake the emotion off and decide this child must be in some kind of coma.

I take a moment to notice my environment. The room looks more like a colorful child's bedroom than a hospital room, but it's definitely a hospital room. This is typical for the pediatric wing, I suppose, but for some reason I think, Children's Hosptial. I look down and see several sticker labels on his bed. I focus on one and it reads [My Last Name] and then something like "filter". The characters of the last word are shifty and hard to hold shape enough to read very well. I decide this is unimportant and note the others. They are too blurry to make out so I leave it. Curious, I decide to wonder into the hallway, but this dream finally ends as I step out of the room.

#286 - MILD - 2:53AM


I wake for my WBTB and recall a non lucid dream about having breakfast with morbidly obese people. One asked me if I wanted "cool" (cool whip) or peanut-butter on my pancakes. I shout that I want both. The guy asking looks really pleased with my answer.

Later, I fall asleep a little too fast and forget I wanted to WILD. I find myself at some strange version of my workplace. It's break-time and I see something like cherry cheese cake on a table for everyone to eat. I take an extra large piece with my hands and wolf it down. I see another plain cheese cake and do the same. I begin to feel guilty and like total shit as I realize that I am blowing my calorie restricted diet so blatantly. I've only just started.

As I walk deeper into the break room, I think some coffee would be nice to go with the sweets and pour a cup from a weird coffee pot. I find it strange that the coffee looks like it has creamer in it already, but I just shrug it off. As I start to turn around, I see a plate of really large lemon muffins. I figure since I am blowing my diet I may as well do it right and take a muffin. I quickly shove it into my face as I pick a seat.

I start to sit with Ronnie, but I see Glenn and decide to sit with him. I've been wondering why he's been gone from work (sick) and want to ask him about it. He seems to be engaged in deep conversation with Richard so I politely sit with them waiting to speak. As I sit, I slip and land hard, embarrassing myself. Richard seems to be annoyed and purposefully not making eye contact with me. I decide to sip my coffee and notice that it just tastes like creamer and is not very warm. I get up to check the coffee pot and see it's just now making coffee. I assume someone preloaded the pot with creamer prior to starting the coffee. I go ahead and pour a little more in my cup hoping the first of the brew will be strong enough to counter all the creamer.

When I sit back down, I begin to feel extremely tired and put my head down on the table for a second. I think I am about to dose off, but I suddenly fall out of my seat. I look around, but no one seems to notice. I notice Ronnie's table. He's talking to that one guy whose name I don't know. I suddenly wake and roll over.

I feel annoyed that I feel asleep so fast and decide its time to get focused about WILD. But first, I want to recall the dream I just had. As I am going over it I feel a little shocked at my binge eating. It try to recall the little details but end up having a MILD and slipping right back into the action.

I'm sitting in another spot but still in the same scene and moment. I see the nameless guy sitting alone now. He's talking about fitness and health to someone and mentions something about how the skin of fruits and vegetables have a lot of nutrients. I say, "Yeah. Pretty soon, instead of throwing away the peel, people will eat just the skin and throw away the rest to save calories." I am completely ignored.

I notice a guy I went to high school with get up from another table and tell Nameless that he's been reading a book about core fitness. High School tells Nameless that his "core" is all wrong and needs to work on it. Nameless seems confused and I know why as if I am reading his mind. High School cannot possible know anything about Nameless or his "core" because Nameless hasn't even talked about it.This triggers lucidity.

I realize that I have been eating some type of fruit, or rather, I am holding it in my hand. I look at it, and it looks to be something like a really large plum. There is a bite missing and the interior flesh looks just as deep purple as the skin. I take another bit lucidly noticing the taste. It is deliciously sweet and plum-like but way better than any type of fruit I have ever had. There is no core or seed and the texture is like solid, seedless tomato or maybe a persimmon. My vision starts to fade, but I don't care. I just continue eating the dream fruit enjoying every second. I decide to really focus on the taste and feel of it in my mouth. The taste intensifies to near euphoric levels. I say, "Goddammit, that's so good." I continue like this until I slowly wake up with watering mouth and smacking lips. I look at my empty hand disappointed.

I guess you can see what's been going on in my life.

#285 - DEILD - 4:35AM

I wake slightly realizing I lost consciousness trying to WILD and go right back into it. I feel odd and begin to her my son crying. It sounds echoy and strange so I tell myself he's not really crying. I transition and go to my son's room. I see my wife on the floor changing his diaper. I begin to wonder if she is really in here with him and think that I must look like a ghost to her. She doesn't seem to notice me so I move close to her ear and start singing the theme song to The Monkees. I actually surprise myself how much I know of that song.Suddenly, my wife disappears. I see my son playing around and move to him to interact with him but I suddenly wake up. I fall right back to sleep and realize I am DJing blindly in the dark. Instead of using this to reenter the dream I stupidly wake myself to DJ. I guess I was afraid of losing lucidity and forgetting it all.

#284 - SSILD - 4:45ish?

I had a natural WBTB way early at around 12:44AM but went ahead and took my Amino Acid Blend. I intended to SSILD but passed out too hard, too fast.

I have several vivid NLDs but only remember one where I was still married to my wife but was also dating an ex girlfriend. Apparently, they were both fine with it all and I felt strong love and affection for both of them simultaneously.

When I woke from that I berate myself and managed some proper SSILD cycles

I am on a beach with my wife and kids that I think of being some part of Charleston, SC. I swim into the water with my older daughter and quickly notice that this part of the ocean is bathtub warm and very brown. Disgusting.For some reason I start taking video of my daughter with my phone in the water. There's some vertigo and I feel like I may drown.

After a lot of struggle I manage to get back on shore. I spot an area where the water is clear and blue with white sand and palm trees. We decide that's a better spot and swim out into it. I see some smaller kids playing on some structure in shallow water. My son is among them and he is smiling at me. I tell him 'Hi' as I pass by. I come to a rock formation and climb up it. After closer inspection, I notice all of this is a man made pool that looks like beach and ocean. I look around and think maybe we are in some part of inland bay area. I pull my phone out to check the GPS. Google Maps confirms my suspicion and I use a type of Street View function to teleport to a road that leads to the actual beach.

As we walk, I notice the streets are full of water. I question how there can be any flooding and look up at the sky. There are very dark storm clouds coming inland. As I look out toward the sea, I see a terrible storm approaching with many tornadoes on the water. I shout, "Hurricane!" at my daughters and try to get them to run with me. My younger daughter is too scared and hides in a rack of clothing like in a department store.

I think it was the tornadoes or maybe the clothes rack on the sidewalk, but I realize this must be a dream. I still feel the need to get everyone out of the area but I feel like I can't move and my daughter still won't cooperate. I hear a woman's voice over an intercom saying some warning about the Hurricane. I feel a need to escape and have a moment where the dream fades to black. I calm myself and focus on the dream to avoid the void.

I look at Google Maps again and see several red dots that I think must represent my wife and whoever else I came with. They seem to be back where I was earlier and I remember that I teleported.If I teleported here I can teleport someplace else. I still feel the need to bring everyone with me but decide I should just let them go. I have to remind myself its just a dream.

I play with Google Maps some more and zoom out and rotate. I see the area and note the general shape of the coast line to compare it with the actual waking map. I see lettering marking the names of areas but it's all in some strange form of Spanish that I cannot even try to remember (Probably just gibberish). I zoom out some more and notice the area I am on is separated by a something like a river. I find this a little confusing but let it go.

I zoom way out and let my mind wander. I find something like a small isolated continent divided into two countries. I zoom on the right side and see it's labeled Somalia. I zoom on the left side and it's labeled Burma. I decide Burma might be nice even-though I know this map is all wrong.

I am not sure on the mechanics of this mode of teleportaton so I don't try. I just focus on seeing landscapes and let my mind bring what it wants. I see some empty beach, then something like an arid, yellowish, crag with steam shooting out. It makes me think of kind of sulfuric fumarole. I don't want any part of that so I continue searching but I lose lucidity.

I find myself sitting on a cushion at a low table with three Arabic men. There is a meal before us and we begin eating while engaging in conversion. I dish myself something that looks like the end of a very large octopus tentacle. It's cooked and split partially in half like the bread at Subway. There is some red meat inside that looks like beef and I put some sort of sauce on it. As I eat I vividly notice the texture and not so much the taste; it's something like tough marshmallows. I soon wake up.

By the way, I was really close with my view of the coast line. It's not quite Charelston but it's really close. I've never been here nor do I recall ever looking it up.

Also, it's interesting that I have thought of using a method of teleporting before but never tried it. Though, the dream set me up for it this time, I think it is something I could perfect... hopefully.