Xanous' Dream Journal

I was fooled by a very convincing FA and felt the urge to pee. I peed for a very long time and felt sleepy. I closed my eyes a few times and felt random thoughts like I was falling asleep right there. I open my eye and see some random thing on the floor in the darkness. I feel horny and tell myself that if I can get lucid I'll have lucid sex. I finish up and lay back down to WILD.

Instantly I hear loud music. It sounds churchy but I think it must have been a Mumford and Sons song. I try to change it to a 90's alternative song and it slowly morphs into something odd. I realize I am wasting time with this and start thinking about transitioning. I get the spins and feel like I roll into the floor but once I noted this I was back in bed. I know I am close so I think of goals. I want to punch George Bush instead of lucid sex. I feel like I lied to myself at this point. Then, its like my SubC gets mad at me and I wake up. I do a nose plug to be sure.

I was trying to incubate a beach dream during MILD. It didn't quite work out. I was feeling really wakeful alread and was afraid I wasn't going to get to sleep in the first hour so I have to keep it short to quite my mind enough.

#196 - MILD - 4:49AM

I am driving to/from that I think was the beach. Was is the Georgia trip? It starts snowing ridiculously hard and the scene whites out.

I have a FA and I know that I am dreaming. I am in the house from my late teenage years. My parents are milling about not paying attention to me. I remember the task to hug a DC. My dad is the closest and I reach out and hug him tightly. I remember negative feelings I have toward him and I let them go. I say, "I love you, Dad." He doesn't really seem to react much to this but I feel good telling him that and I continue down stairs.

The scene skips head. (Who wants to walk down stairs in a dream?) I am at the front door and when I open it I see that it is snowing with some accumulation. I say, "Oh! Snow!" I take a long slow floating leap off the porch but realize the snow is not that deep. I turn over to my back and think, The snow is deep. The snow is deep. When I land the snow is sure enough deep but it's a little too deep. I create a large deep hole and snow caves in on me.

I have another FA. I start to reach for my DJ but something feels off. Am I still dreaming? Do a nose plug and blow through. It didn't feel very clean so I blew harder a few more times. Once satisfied I get up and exit the door. I realize I am in the first house I bought with my ex-wife. I see her sitting in a couch in the living room at the end of the hallway. When I get to the living room I notice my mom on the other couch holding a baby. Ignore them and sit next to my ex. For the moment I feel like I am in the past. I hug her and remember old feelings and the good times we had.I begin to make out with her. It seems awkward that my mom is in the room but I know that if I ignore her she will not exist. Everything feels like it used to but soon she starts morphing into my current wife. The scene becomes very much like Vanilla Sky and I push away from her feeling guilty and confused.

I have another FA. I nose plug and continue out of the room. There is a long hallway in the darkness and as I walk it begins to grow and stretch longer and longer. My crotch feels odd and I get the feeling like some force is holding me back. I start to panic. I realize this is turning nightmarish so I relax, calm myself and focus on moving forward. Almost instantly I am at the end. There is really large living room with a kitchen bar to the left. Where am I this time? It's too dark to see but I notice some red led on the wall. Must be a smoke detector I reach on the adjacent wall and feel for a light switch. I flip it expectantly and a the light on a ceiling fan brightens the room. The room looks alien yet familiar. It feels like some apartment. I yell making funny sounds just to hear the odd dream sound of my voice. Then, I try to think what to do and all I can remember is the fireworks task. I spot a buffet with a lot of junk on it. I start rummaging around and pick up a match. I say, "There's the matches." Then I see a single bottle rocket. I looks just like a Moon Traveler. "There's the firework." I put the match in my mouth and then the bottle rocket. I have to break the stick to get it to fit and have a hard time swallowing. I feel like I might choke so I just let it sit there and it quickly dissolves. Now I point my finger across the room at some glass sliding doors. I feel uncertain how this so I just point and wait. I try to focus on the bottle rocket shooting out of my finger tip but I wake up before anything happens.

#1 Rainn Wilson's Comedy Act
I am in some darkened theater and Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute)is on stage doing stand-up comedy. My wife is next to me and her sister is next to her. Rainn has some sort of drum that look like a metal coffee can in a square box on a stand. He stands in front of it and says something about how he's Jewish. We all laugh at lot a his jokes. Somehow I am able to reach out and pat the drum a few times.

Then he randomly starts playing violin with a full orchestra behind him. People take this as the end of his act and start leaving in mass numbers. My wife, her sister and I decide to stay. I think the music sounds amazing and relaxing. My wife and her sister get up to get a closer seat since there are some open now. My wife wants me to follow but I realize that for some crazy reason I have and erection. I wave her on and tell her I'll be there in a minute. I visually follow her with my eyes and get a good idea where they are sitting. I try to understand why I have an erection but am in now way aroused. Then I think this happens a lot during dreaming.

I briefly wake up notice that yes I do have an erection and renter the dream non lucid. I have some thoughts about the music. Maybe that's his way of getting everyone to randomly get bored and thus ending the show in some strange dryly humors way. Or maybe he doesn't want people to linger and greet him backstage. That must be it.

I am back in the same seat and every is as if I had not woke up at all. (Perhaps I didn't really wake up?)Now I have some sort of blanket or cloak that I hold in front of me. As I walk it wraps around me and I feel secure and cozy. I find my wife and her sister almost up to the front and I sit next to them still enjoying the music. At the point more and more people start leaving. The music ends and Rainn says something. Then, "If you linger that means you a close pals with Dwight. You'll be just like him." I look over and my wife and her sister are gone. Some blonde is walking past looking displeased. Not wanting to be like Dwight, I say to her, "That's it I'm out."

I follow massive amounts of people out of the exits. The line just to get out seems impossibly long. For some reason, perhaps out of habit, I pat my pockets noticing my wallet, keys, and cellphone are missing. I begin to panic thinking it must have fallen out some place. There is some small table next to wall with my stuff. I snatch it up and check the contents of my wallet. My cards are missing along with my driver's license and Social Security card. I panic. My dad passes by and asks what's wrong. I tell him and he walks away uninterested. I want call my wife now to get the numbers off her cards to alert the bank and credit card company. I fiddle with the phone and place find it very difficult to place a call. One I finally hit send it disconnects immediately.

I realize I had wondered into the parking lot. I just wonder around looking for my wife or the car while trying to place a call. I feel helpless and actually begin to cry of the whole situation. I feel tears rolls down my cheeks as I become aware of other pedestrians and vehicles passing by me. I try to hide the fact that I am crying but eventual decide I don't care. I keep trying to call my wife and I become very pissed that my phone just wont work right. I begin to remember something and think, "This happens a lot in dreams." For some reason I think about how easy it is for my father in law to use his phone. Then, That's it I just need a new phone.

I put the phone away and now I am in some Christmas shop full of Dr. Sues looking stuff. I think this must be some sort of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" replica. I figure this would be a likely place to find my wife. I look around some narrow zigzag hallway decorated with lights and garland but only see strange faces. They are all women and I get the feeling like I should not be in there. Like maybe I wondered into the women's restroom. I wake up.

I use MILD and visualize an OBE with mantra

#2 Spiderman?
I wake from some NLD that I can't recall and am able to DEILD. Maybe I am just waking to REMatonia or SP. I feel tingles in my arms and legs but no vibrations. This time I really expected vibrations. I incorrectly visualized my OBE. I'll have to keep that in mind. I wake for awhile and become very bored. I don't think to induce the vibrations and I start visualizing wondering the house hoping to exit my body that way. I start with walking along the bedroom wall noticing the fell of it with both hand. I press my body to it almost hugging it.

Suddenly I am crawling up a wall that looks like the semi-gloss green of the bathroom and become lucid but on a lower level than usual. Now I slide down the wall as I think about gravity. I shift my thinking and think that gravity is wherever I choose. I tell myself that gravity is in the wall. I now get a grip and crawl to the ceiling. Again I chose gravity to be on the ceiling and I crawl to that. I begin to enjoy my control of gravity and crawl all over the small empty room that I am in without much effort.

Now I realize I have an erection again and...I'm embarrassed to say... I start humping the wall in various places. My lucidity begins to slip and I lose all self control. I wake up before too much happens.

#3 Xanous Knows Baseball
I am on a professional baseball field. I see my name on some batting roster and I head to the dugout. I laugh that my name actually reads "Xanous". I do a double take and notice that the spelling has morphed into a type of l33t speak but still clearly says "Xanous". I don't catch this and think, They must have got confused somehow and used my online name. I actually like it and decide to just go with it.

I see Tonya from work in the dugout and I ask her name. She says her name is Coraline and she is from Guatemala.
For whatever reason I blurt out, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAL!"
I laugh at my mistake. "Oops. No that's soccer. We are playing baseball... HOOOOOOOOMERUN!"
She laughs and tells me how to say home-run in Spanish. I slowly repeat the word several times and she corrects me until i get it right. I can't remember what it was now but it was some long complicated word. I wake up.

#4 Off-Roading
I am sitting on a large 4-wheeler waiting of some black truck with huge off road tires to pass me. The sky is over cast and there is a large mud puddle on the trail. Somehow the driver of the truck communicates to me that they are waiting for me to lead them. I smile and motion them to follow. I say something like, "Try to keep up." with a cocky grin on my face.

I drive thru the mud and down the trail then I take a turn up an impossibly steep hill. I feel the 4-Wheeler struggle and throw mud as I open the throttle but I make it. At the top there is a shear grassy drop off. Beyond looks like something out of Skyrim but less rocky. I follow the narrow ridge but now I am being pulled along by a push mower. A long line of pine sapling get mowed down then I reach a steep muddy hill going down and ride down. At the bottom I think I should have done that on the 4-wheeler. Now I am on the 4-wheeler instead.

There is a camp site near some building that is basically a wall on the side of a dirt cliff. I gather up my stuff and load the 4-wheeler to leave. There are two guys coming out of the building. I think they must be the ones that were in the truck. They ask if this is how I go mountain climbing. I say, "No there's no rocks. I like to rock climb like that." I point to a poster tacked to a tree of a man rock climbing. the two men start talking to a 3rd unknown person. I get the feeling that they two guys are a gay couple. I look them over and they look too... pretty to be out in the woods. The more feminine man on the right says something about going to "The Wretched Festival." Is that a gay thing? Now they have their arms around each other. I begin to feel perturbed by it so I drive off without a word. I wake up.

I am with some friends outside and someone spots a drone hovering low with a giant camera lens on it. I get pissed that the government is spying on us all the time we all flip it off and yell obscenities. After awhile, the drone lands and morphs into a walking robot about 7 feet tall. I suddenly have a machine gun and I begin shooting at the robot putting bullet holes in the chest and head. It topples over with electric sparks. More robots quickly come and I run away as I blast more of them. One of them gets too close and I smash it's face with the but of my rifle. A disconnected robot head comes hovering at from another downed robot and bat it down and stomp on it until it is dead and smashed.

I look around standing near the body of a robot and realize that I made it inside some public building. The entrance way looks a lot like a bank and I can see something like a swat team storming up outside the glass doors. I put one foot on the robot and pose for the media. I know that I will go to jail but I want to make a statement for the rest of the country. I'll be a hero and a martyr.Then it occurs to me that the media is controlled by the state and will not portray me as a hero but more like a terrorist. The swat team points weapons at me and waits for me to come out. I put my gun down and hands and start to come out in surrender. Then, I realize that they too will not be kind to me. They will probably kill me anyway so I may as well run for it. I pause for a second contemplating my next move. Under my breath I calmly mutter, "Fuck it." I pick up my rifle and run for another exit.

I am outside running someplace downtown and suddenly it's dark. I am with others fighting along side me. I try to think where we can hide. Do we have a base? No. I just started this spur of the moment. Every looks to me as their leader. I try to think this out but two robots come looking like they have Guy Fawkes masks on in mockery. They over take me. At this point I become dimly aware that I am dreaming. And force the dream to have a different outcome. Mulligan. There is a blip and I am back just before they get me. This time I have my machine gun and I shoot them both down. A third figure comes out of the darkness. He looks like sometime organic and monstrous like something out of a video game. (I really can't recall exactly what it looks like anymore. I didn't write this down when I woke up.) I can't seem to hit it with my machine gun so I summon a large shotgun by reaching to my side with my right hand and expecting something to be there. Without looking, I vividly feel the gun materialize in my hand. Then, I easily blast the creature in the face.

I either lost lucidity here or I briefly woke up or I guess both.

Now I am on some boat docks with a group of American rebels. I think we could take several of the smallest boats we can fit into to avoid detection and try to make it Cuba. Perhaps there we can seek asylum. If not we will just hide out for a while. I choose something like a John Boat and get it. As we speed off into the darkness, I wake up.

I have been dreaming about boat docks a lot lately.

I can't be as detailed as I would like but heres a brief summary.

At WBTB I awoke from a dream were I was in some brothel/hotel. I spent some time showering and feeling guilty for whatever I had done. I get out and walk into my room. I apparently have a room mate and he is LOUDLY having sex with a whore. I advert my eyes and go to the other side of the room and sit on my own bed. He yells out "Sorry Mike." I reply weakly, "That's Ok." Then he yells, "Im going to cum. Here I go. Oh yeah do the shotgun. I like the shotgun."

I try to ignore all this and try to call my wife. I have no idea why I am here and really want to talk to her. I have phone issues and wake up.

I wake up feeling wide awake and I have some tea then lay dow for MILD. I feel wakeful and it take some time.

I am in my living room with some flying platform toy that I bought for the kids. I think it must be an Iron Man toy. I get on it and am able to fly around. I feel like Tony Stark. My wife thinks it's silly and wants me to come back to bed. I tell her but this is so cool. I am flying like in a dream...

Something happens here. I think I am briefly lucid but my memory is too foggy to record anything coherent.

I have a FA and here keyboard typing. I realize I have been typing my dream out in real time. I am shock and amazed by this. My wife says something and I try to get her to understand how awesome this is. I scroll through and see I have long dream that read like short stories complete with HTML coding and illustrated pictures.The the browser screws up and keeps going to other websites based on my dream entries.

Suddenly I am in the alley in some truck with my wife. We see the crazy neighbor lady in our back yard and my wife freaks out. She is messing with something on the ground and I realize is the parachute from a daytime rocket. I don't mind it. My wife says something hateful to her and she comes over to talk to us.

I go back to my DJ on my laptop and I remember back before the FA that I was in fact breifly lucid and was flying without the toy. I say something to my wife that I was lucid when I typed my dream journal. I am even more amazed. Then I begin to realize that I am still dreaming but I wake up right away sad that those DJ entries were not real after all.

I have no idea if I was really lucid. I think probably not.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

I could not recall anything when my alarm woke me at 3:30AM. I felt alert like I had slept really well. I only stayed up for about 15 min and tried for MILD. I didn't have a recent dream to build on so I started visualizing an OBE. I forgot some of the NLDs because I didn't take DJ notes. I wanted to stay focused on MILD. I also include some mantras.

I woke to a FA. Tonya from work was in my house making noise and keeping me from sleeping. I tried laying on the couch but she turned the T.V. way up. I had to turn it off to keep my wife and son from waking up. I tried to get on the laptop at the kitchen table but April, the engineer that retired a long time ago, showed up and told me I had to leave. They were about to have an important meeting and I was not allowed to be there. I wonder into the kitchen and see Tonya doing dishes. I can smell something cooking in the oven. It smells like French Fries. She has a huge pile of suds in the sink and a glass of soapy water in one hand. She looks at me and deliberately pours water into the floor. I get pissed at her and she says it was just a prank. I told her that I didn't care if she was just joking with me. She went too far! I storm off into the bedroom to try to get back to sleep so I could maybe get lucid still. When I walk into the bedroom there is a huge screen above my bed with a French Fry commercial stuck on repeat. The fries look odd but delicious. I notice my wife going into the bathroom from the corner of my eye but I am transfixed by the screen. I wake up.

I recall the dream and try to change it at a point where I could have become lucid.The entire dream was so odd that I have trouble deciding where to start. I am too drowsy and do a poor job of MILD.

I have another FA but this time my kitchen is huge and open and looks like the upstairs area I've been working at my job. I can still smell the Fries and I see a tray of them out to cool.At some point here I do a quick nose plug but it fails. A part of me remembers the last dream and I tell myself, "The next time I am dreaming this I will know that I am dreaming." (Waking world habit bleeding in here! This is actually very encouraging even if I didn't get it.) My introspection is broken by my boss. She franticly tells me to clock into training and get some books out read over some process procedures until I get some work to do. "Just look busy!" I hurry to do what I was told. I wake up.

I fell like an idiot after recalling the dream. I notice It's getting light outside and I feel worried that I am not going to get lucid this time. I resolve my determination and switch to WILD

#195 - 6:39AM - WILD

This may have not been a true WILD but at some point I notice vibrations and it gets my attention.I think, Oh thank God! This is it! Even if this dream doesn't work out I still got this far! I feel my heart pounding with excitement and I take some time to calm myself. I then try to transition but lately it just seems so difficult to do my normal thing. I try spinning but it's slow and sluggish. I stop trying with the physical sensations and begin visualizing. I think of myself walking in the void with my hand in front of me. I focus on seeing my hands and soon I see a dim and blurry pair of hands in front of me. I have doubts this is really working and it feels super fake but I tell myself, "Just believe it and it will happen." I really put confidence into my abilities and soon I am in a version of my house.

I don't know if I just forgot what happened here or if I temporary lost lucidity but there is a huge memory gap that I just cannot remember.

I am walking past some dark alcove and I remember that I wanted to have a Skyrim dream (I've been playing a lot of Skyrim lately) I decide to get ballsy and head into the darkness to phase teleport. I put my head down and close my eyes running straight into the dark part of the wall. I feel soft resistance and then dark nothingness.

I focus on all the visuals I got from playing the game yesterday. I want to be in an open mountainous countryside. I begin walking and I can hear the crunch of my boots with each step. Soon, after much effort, I begin to see it but everything looks like an oil painting and lacks real depth or openness. The colors are dim and dull with little detail. I stop and focus on the ground and things got a little better but not much. I literally am stuck in a painting! I continue moving and try to open the "world" up and give it more life. I feel like I am making progress but suddenly I feel a strong urge to pee.

This puts me back in my bed and I panic a little thinking I need to wake up to pee. I try to move but SP has me locked in. I feel real bladder pain now and worry I might pee the bed. I know I can hold my breath to wake up but I really don't want to do that when I am so locked in like this. I laugh to myself and decide I should just try to hold it and dream a little longer.

I decide to spin and visualize. I enjoy the feeling of spinning at high speed with no motion sickness or centripetal forces for and moment while trying to "see". In a few seconds I am standing next to my bed. Everything is vivid clear and bright. I am shocked how clean this dream looks and I realize that this would be easy to believe as a real awakening. I step into the bathroom and see myself in the mirror. To be sure I do a nose plug while watching myself. I blow through but it's not clean. It's like my sinuses are clogged up a little. Oooh that must be why I failed in the other dream! I blow again slowly and deliberately until I am satisfied. Now, I study myself in the mirror and realize I am wearing wire frame glasses. I smile at this and wonder. I assume it's because I have been wearing reading glasses at work. I take them off but my vision get way too blurry so I put them back on. Better to look like dork then not be able to see. I study my face in the mirror and realize how wide this mirror is. It's huge! I am further amazed how clear and normal my face looks. I keep thinking how long this dream has been and I worry that I'm going to forget some of it. I try not to worry about it.

I don't want to spend to much time here so I decide to enter the mirror. I put my head in but it's solid. I remember to think about it differently and reach in with my left arm. The glass turns into quick silver and I reach back and pull my head in. My vision turns blurry and I feel like I am trying to see underwater. I really don't want to have to form a new scene again so I back out. My vision is back and I wonder into the joining bedroom. Again there is another huge mirror on the wall. The rest of the room is empty. I see those stupid glasses on me and decide I don't need them after all. I take them off and toss them to the floor. I watch as the glasses fall in slow motion and dissolve away. My vision is fine and I guess a part of me remembers the naked task. I notice I am wearing some khaki green sleeveless shirt and my gray gym shorts I wear as PJs. I get curious what I would look like in the mirror so I start my taking my shirt off. Maintain visuals. I carefully take my shirt of and keep it way from my head so that my vision is not completely obstructed. When I look into the mirror again I am wearing a black sleeveless shirt. I laugh and this time I rip my shirt down the front. I look pretty normal shirtless so I pull down my shorts and look at myself. I grab my junk and shake it laughing. At that moment Wurlman and another guy walks in laughing at me. Wurlman says something like, "Oh my God dude. What are you doing?" He laughs at me hysterically. I'm not embarrassed because I know it's a dream. I just say, "If my wife could see me right now she would be all like... Oh my God you're so sexy". I laugh. Suddenly I wake up. And guess what? I didn't have to pee after all.


I found this article while searching for a title to this dream. Not only is it great for waking life but it really fits with the mindset of this dream and lucid dreaming in general.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...il-you-make-it

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

#1 I forgot most of this one. Something about some occult trying to stop my wedding to my wife. I have to fight back. I think they look like The Dark Brotherhood from Skyrim. I destroy some strange structure and some how I know that doing so killed my parents.

#2 I am walking in a park. A woman that looks like the non-cartoon version of Asian Reporter Thrisha Takanawa puts a mic in my face and asks me some questions. I tell her I don't speak Chinese. (Takanawa sounds Japanese to me) Someone tells me to just fake it. I say random nonsense stuff and they all act like I am saying something really great. (I think this is inspired by the family episode we watch before bed were Louis becomes Mayor) I see my face on a T.V. screen but it's not the news it's AFV. Apparently I didn't something stupid but funny. Something about "Cat Litter Surprise". Then they use my face to add on animations for other clips. I keep popping in saying "MONEY" in a comical German Hitler like voice. Everyone thinks it's so funny and acts like I am some kind of famous comedian.

I wake and try to MILD but I drift off into another dream

#3 Lisa from work is sitting at a table on a large deck outside.. my house? It feels awkward because I wonder if she is mad at me. She is talking to some other woman that looks like Michelle. I see bird poop on the deck and wish I had a hose to wash it off. Suddenly water starts to jet from in-between my toes on my right foot. I awkwardly wash the deck of. Lisa say's something polite to me and I respond then continue to wash the deck. I even give the grass a little water.I think, It's probably going to rain soon.

I wake up just before my WBTB alarm at 5AM. I get for a while and use MILD with mantra

#194 - 7:08AM - MILD

I am walking around some theme park with my wife that I think of as Six Flags. I think we must have ridden a few rides together. We pause looking for more stuff to do but it seems like there just aren't very many rides. She stops at some glass container full of something like Children's Miracle Network pledge cards. She is taking a bunch of pictures of random stuff then turns a takes an up close pictures of some woman and her infant. I begin to think of this a something like Disney World or Universal Studio's. I get a sense of urgency and want to make the most of our time since we probably will never come back. I become annoyed that she is wasting so much time and I gripe at her a little. She agrees and we turn and walk away now.
She seems sad and says, "Sorry you're not having any fun."
"No, it's not that.(lie) It's that we don't have much time left you are taking pictures of people's random babies." (I worded that funny in the dream. LOL.)
We look around and I feel really disappointed with this place. There just isn't much to do here. Then, I see some strange ride taking off on tracks.
My wife sees it too and says, "Ooohh nope nope nope!" and runs away. I wonder what is so bad about that ride as I chase after. We exit some glass doors and I got the feeling like the park was inside. There seems to be more stuff to do outside.

The sun is bright and I look around. There seems to be something like a park with trees and perfectly manicured lawn to the right. It looks like some people are gathering with chairs to watch a show in the shade. I see my father-in-law walking around like he works here. I notice he is wearing something like a tan Leprechaun suit complete with top hat. I find this really odd because he never wears suits and is a very large Native American. I think we should at least say hi to him before we move on but my wife is walking really fast and getting too far ahead of me. I feel torn whether or not I should follow her or talk to him. Then I see that suit again and notice he is doing something really odd. He's rubbing is hands together but has hay in-between. All this is too much and I ask myself, Am I dreaming? I think for a second, *gasp* I AM dreaming! I feel like I am about to wake up but I try to ignore it best I can.

I run over to my wife and take both of her hands. I look her close in the face and note how shifty and wavy it is but I ignore it. "Babe! We are dreaming! This is a dream!"
She doesn't say anything but she pulls away and gives me one of her you're-crazy-go-away looks. I sigh and let it go. I know there won't be any convincing her after that look. I pace in a circle rubbing my hands, thinking what my goals were. I can't seem to remember so I decide to just explore. I look out and see a small parking lot and a familiar looking street street and some building beyond. There is a red vehicle parked that looks like ours. I wonder if I am going to walk, run, drive or fly. But I really want my wife to come along so I say to her,"Well, I'm going to go do some stuff now. Are you coming?" I turn to look at her and take her hand but I wake up.

I have been focusing on MILD

Fragments. Once I woke up thinking I had been lucid but had no recall. The second time I hear someone that I thought of as Wurlman say the words, "lucid dreaming" I woke with start. I can't remember any other details.


#1 There was a party with a bunch of teens. Something about it ending but the guys wanted to go longer. We though of ways to keep it going but someone drank the last beer. They said "Last of the alcohol" and threw the bottle in the fireplace.

I saw my wife who wasn't my wife just a girl I liked. I wanted to makes sue she didn't go home with some jerk so I offered to give her a ride.

#2 I am on some train ride roller coaster thing in some tunnels. I remember the old dream from a few days ago and am confused why we went a different route. The train soon dissolves and I am walking in some strange maze like building. I think of mini golf. There's something about a window unit.

I find myself standing outside the window unit. I make an adjustment and turn around. There are two guy that look really thugish. They also look like my wife's sisters husband but they have long hair and red bandannas. They look Mexican but also may like Native Americans. I think they must be his brothers. They have the same eyes. There's a third guy and we all talk about something.

# 3 I am playing some game at work with a bunch of people sitting at a table. My wife is one of them. I roll dice and take as many steps. I continue until I get to the smoker shack that now looks like a brick building from downtown with several stories. I go back to the table and realize I left my son in the building. I worry how long it has been. I run back thinking about how many times I must have rolled dice to get there. I worry that I skipped everyones turn. I find my son in some room buried in cloth. I feel him and pull him out and cuddle him. My wife is with me and I feel really bad. Some young woman drives up in car (I guess I am outside now?) and tries telling me something but Ignore her. I look at my son and he is a newborn again. The woman coos at him.

I was feeling sad my recall sucked all night so I really focused after the snooze.

I found myself having see with my wife. We almost flipped into an impossible position. There was brief darkness a vertigo. Then we actually do flip. I thought," This feels very dream like"
But before I really think it through we are now walking together on a long wooden deck outside.

I look back at the bed and see its red with some creepy boy sitting on it messing with a hand held device. I note part of my house has no walls but think nothing of it.

I follow my wife into the shed. She bends over to pick something up and I put her pants down to continue. At some point there is a dual image of me having see with her and humping some random plastic tote. I can hear her and feel really confused. I begin to question things when the alarm goes off.

I snooze again and find myself mountain biking with my parents. (lol ya right) I want follow a trail to a hidden park but dad is convinced it's the other way. I follow and when we get there I am proven right. There some yard and abandoned farm equipment.

We go back but it's dark now and I have some red flashing light on my bike. The are some people with some sort of ATV ahead and their lights blind me. I try to shield my eyes but it doesn't help. My bike fades away and I begin running. I enjoy the ease of it.

Now I am back at the start the next morning. I freak out that I left my bike. Dad's says it's not there but I have to at least look. I run and see that I am on some boat dock. There are life preservers and fish nets lying around. The water looks a little on the brownish green side. The alarm wakes me.

Had some dream about Michelle at work. She was talking to some dude who I thought she dated once. I wondered how they could be acting like nothing happened since they had sex.

Another very vivid dream... There was a guy in a store sitting on the floor next to a magazine rack looking at some magazine. She was saying things like, "Oh you like that? "You want it? Yeah, that's right." I though we was getting off looking at a porno mag but it turned out he was just talking on the phone. I couldn't see the phone because he had long curly hair and was holding the phone with his shoulder on the opposite side.

Then suddenly a woman appears. She is extremely attractive but I could tell she was an older woman probably in her mid 40's. I noted crows feet and laugh lines but they were subtle and actually made her look more beautiful and refined. Then I noticed the rest of her... She was completely topless wearing nothing but light blue panties and black stilettos. She walks right up to the magazine guy and stands in front of him in a Wonder Woman pose smiling.

I notice her perfect breast and admire her beauty for a moment. When I do the view zooms in too close and I am now on my knees right in front of her. I feel her soft belly press against my left ear.

I walk away feeling embarrassed now and laugh at the guy on the phone instead of paying attention to the woman. Then I realize I am opening a new store and begin setting up the rest of my goods. There is a spinning rack with cheap children's toys on it and fiddle with that as a distraction.

I wake up at this point and use MILD to remember the scene and imagine myself becoming lucid. I get very strong imagery and physical sensations right away but it quickly becomes sexual as I remember the MILF. I get pretty far into the dream state and I would have had a full lucid success but I woke myself to avoid having another lucid sex dream.

Geez you'd think I was sucking down menthol every night!

I got about an hour of insomnia after that so I tired WILD with the twin bodies technique but only got some random NLD that I don't remember now.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

I have a couple DILDs but once I realized I was dreaming Immediately woke up. All I could remember was random thoughts and images like I wasn't fully dreaming yet. It was probably just strong HI. I later have this really vivid NLD

I am at some sort of whole food market like FoxFarm here in town. I have a dip net and there is a tank with various live sea creatures. I pick out a lobster, and some shrimp, and something I call an amoeba. It looks like a flowery ball of rubbery flesh about the size of a tennis ball. I look back and ask some guy that looks like CL if he wants anything else. I don't think he answers but I realize that since wear are together we must be on a business trip so it's probably on the company's dime. I decide to get some more shrimp.

I get to the register with my seafood and and some big salt shaker. I think that it is full of some kind of seasoning like salt and vinegar. The seafood costs $3.45 but the seasoning cost $9.15. I am surprised and make a disgusted face but say nothing.

I hand the lady my card I notice the previous customers card is still in the machine. The cashier is a really old woman and appears confused. She has to subtract the amount from that card and re-ring everything up. It looks like she is using a laptop do everything and I begin to feel really impatient as she blankly stares at the computer screen through thick glasses.

My wife says something snoody. I look back and see her holding our son looking really pissed off. I shake my head to tell her to be nice. She leaves me standing there to watch the batty old woman make a mess of the whole transaction.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

I wake briefly and feel wakeful so I go for WILD. I have a lot of very heavy hypnagogia making it super easy.

#193 - 6:00AM - WILD - 2 of 2

I see a scene almost movie like. I am lucid but have no control. I am looking around behind the shed in my back yard. There is something hidden there or buried underneath that I don't want anyone to find. I want it to stop so it doesn't get discovered. I have great anxiety.

I turn around and see 5 from the movie 9 in a cage but its made of wicker and hay. I trust my hand through the weak wall of hay on the bottom half and pull him out

I turn around again and I am in my ex-in-laws drive way. I phase through the glass of the bay windows and see my ex's brother lying on a mattress. There is darkness but I wait it out until things clear up. I see him lying there at first in jeans then naked. I feel extreme hatred for him and bite his dick off. I feel something in my mouth but it feels like I am biting my bottom lip. There is no pain but the shock of what I just did wakes me a little. I promised myself I was going to treat DC's like waking life from now on.

I am standing at the kitchen sink rinsing out the coffee pot. Somehow I realize I just chugged the whole thing and was about to make another pot. I feel odd about this and tell myself I am dreaming. I feel like I am lying to myself but I go with it anyway.

I put grounds and water together in the pot and set it on the stove for a second with no fire. I tell myself that if this is a dream it will be perfect coffee without my trying. I pick up the coffee and put my hand in it. I looks normal and feels hot already. OK fine. I fully believe that I am dreaming now and gather my sense of self. I focus and try to think of goals. I realize that I am in my house so I go for the card. I wonder if that same idea applies even-though this is not an OBE. Still, I figure it will be fun to try.

When I get into the next room. I see darkness but totally ignore it and just visualize what I was going to do. I feel myself pull up to the top of the china cabinet. At the top I can see again. There is the card. I pick up up and at first it is the 9 of diamonds but the diamonds then morph to hearts. I jump down and walk back into the kitchen were there is more light. When I look at the card again it is half jack half king of clubs. I stare at it and laugh out loud and how funny this looks. I flip the card over and am a little shocked that is black and says Fallout on the back. (I totally forgot that I used the deck of Fallout New Vegas playing cards!) I also note that the card is thin like paper. I shrug the strangeness off and flip the card back over. It is now jack/queen of clubs. I stop. I turn to my daughter who has been looking over my shoulder. When the hell did that start? I say to her, "OK. I need to focus." I think, What is the card really? I set all my intent to really seeing the true card. When I look again it is the 7 of diamonds then the diamond turn to circles. 7 of diamonds. Good enough. I drop the card and in doing so the dream fades to black. No worries. Next dream please! (When I later looked at the card it was the 5 of diamonds. Close!)

I am back in bed and feel rather randy. Amy Pond from DW comes to mind. She instantly appears and I begin having sex with her.



After some time I begin to feel guilty and I try to imagine my wife. A blond version of her shows up and I finish with her. It was very detailed but, once again, I'll spare the reader and save myself some embarrassment.

Horrible segment I know but at least I tried to make it right!

After that, I have a false awakening but I am not at all fooled by it. I think about waking myself for real to record the dream but remember that I told myself I would do that again. I'll just have to trust that I'll remember all when I wake up. I get out of bed thinking must have messed myself. For some reason I am wearing jeans shorts. I find that odd since I haven't owned a pair since the 90's. I laugh a little at that.

Then, I notice something on my hands. It looks like some kind of thick clear goo like egg white. OMG that's so gross! I rush to the bathroom and begin to wash my hands in the sink. I note how real it all feels. I think I should probably just ignore it until it goes away but I become distracted by my reflection in the mirror. I sing a little tune while studying my reflection. "I'm lucid, I'm lucid, I'm so lucid..."

Now I really do forget about washing as my reflection morphs into many different versions of me. Most of them look dark and creepy. Some are zombie like and some are just plain evil. I don't worry about it and find it all very amusing. At some point I think to morph in to a Blutbad or werewolf. I naturally shift into it like I have before but this time I have the pleasure of closely watching it all happen up close in the mirror. I let out a low growl to help it all along. the low rumble coming from deep in my throat sounds and feels very convincing. I look down and see my hands are elongated, furry, with long sharp Wolverine claws. I relax and shift back to normal, then step back a little to get a clear view of my normal self. All the shifty morphing has stopped now and my reflection becomes clear and sharper than it had been. I look a little prettier than waking life and I say out loud, "Damn, I'm good looking!" Then for fun I go full werewolf and back again.

I decide to play a little more but this time I focus on my teeth. I open my mouth a little and try to give myself vampire fangs. My teeth look really dirty and brownish but ignore that. At first just the typical two canines slowly grow out and become sharp. I was feeling pleased with my abilities when suddenly all my teeth grow out long and sharp. At that, I decide that I've had enough and become interested with the mirror itself.

My teeth looked like Prisoner Zero from DW:


I tentatively push on the mirror with one finger. Again it feels as solid as stone. I push a little harder with my full palm but it doesn't change. I remember to focus on there being no glass. I try to reach behind my reflection but instead of just my arm going in, I fall in head first. The reflection becomes another room with it's own dept and realism. I feel a stuck at the waist for a moment and I feel the barely contained panic expression on my face. Almost like embarrassment. I force myself to relax and wiggle through. There's a split second of darkness starting to settle in as I fall through and become a little disoriented. Again I just ignored the darkness and it goes away.

I stand up and look around. The bathroom reminds me of a small restroom that was connected my class room when I was in Kindergarten so long ago. I hear a class bell and feel like I better get moving. There are two doors on both sides of the room. The right side feels like the way to go as I think the left must go back to my bedroom. I exit right.

Now I am in a large school that seems similar to my elementary school. I begin running down long hallways at high speed. The feeling reminds me of playing Skyrim so I try to make magic appear in my hands. I hold them up like on the game and visualize. I see some faint glow in both hands, the left is orange like fire and the right is blue like ice. I don't feel like it's getting there fast enough so I hold them more to my side vision as I focus on running. I pass many open class rooms full of desks and shelves of stuff. I don't really see any people. Now, there is a definite energy ball forming in both hands. I begin to ready myself for some real magic but I suddenly wake up without warning.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid


I am back baby! I was SO happy to hit these couple lucids. I was planning to WILD but I was having trouble staying focused so I went with MILD and mantra, "I am dreaming. I always become lucid when I am dreaming."

#192 - 4:48AM - MILD - 1 of 2

I am at Wal-Mart with my wife and kids. There is some woman selling raffle tickets in the front entrance area. I am not sure if she works there or just some solicitor. I walk up, take the tickets from here and begin playing with them. She says her name is something Page. I recognize that last name as a friend and ex of mine. I say, "Oh you know her then?"
She answers, "I am her cousin. You know she's had 10 fiancés?"
I am shocked. "Really 10?" I glance over at my wife nervously. I think that I was one of them but somehow think this was not right. (It wasn't IWL). I go on, "I mean, I didn't think she was like that and I really doubt that's true. But that's really funny you said that." I walk off.

I am in the parking lot with with my wife and kids now. I see my breath like it is cold but it turns into thick smoke. I am amused and blow out hard. I see a long jet of white thick smoke. I think, It's like dragon smoke. I wonder if I am dreaming. Before I can really test this I see my 11 year old run blindly out into the parking lot at top speed. I worry that a car will hit her and I yell out her name. She stops, looks at me, and begins running back in the same manner. I start to tell her to just stop when I suddenly wake up.

I had another long dream segment but forgot most of if prior to getting lucid

I am a parking lot getting in a car. There is some African American woman about to shut the door on me when I turn to look at her I see the same dragon smoke coming from my breath. I recognize it instantly and become lucid. I stand up and the car and woman are gone. It looks like some familiar residential alleyway that I am standing in. The dream already feels unstable so I begin rubbing my hands. My mind feels foggy and I try to gather what I wanted to do. Then I remember that I had been lucid before this part but must have lost it. I don't focus on it too much but I get a clear memory of lucidly running with a woman looking for a silver sports car. I spot it and run to it.

I let the memory go for now. I am pacing and rubbing my hands still thinking. I suddenly remember that I wanted to go to the crystal cave. I see the back of someones shed and I decide to phase teleport. The dream goes black before I get to it. I don't mind. I just focus on visualizing the cave and the crystal walls. I vividly imagine the feel of it with my right hand.

Suddenly I am lying in bed. I think, DEILD and relax. I get very mild vibrations and a strange loud humming sound that somehow reminds me of crystal. I don't do anything that feels physical but rather I visualize myself getting up. My vision is a little dim but not a problem.

I push on a wall to try to phase teleport again but its as solid as brick so I continue to the mirror on the closet door. It's just as solid and I begin to beat on it repeatedly with both fist at an inhuman rate. The sound of it is so loud and that point I begin to wake up. The sound of me beating on the mirror slowly morphs into the sound of the box fan. I am awake.

After a long night I finally got a WILD.

#191 - 5AM-5:45AM - WILD/DEILD/OBE

I hit hard SP and had vibrations. It was a stuggle to transition and once I finally did the dream was weak and unstable. I couldn't see well and it was hard to walk. It's not that I had blindness or darkness, it's more like the dream state itself was weak.

First I rubbed my hands and could see them clearly in front of my face. It was not good enough for the rest of the environtment. I was shifty and blurry, fading in and out. I crawed feeling the hardwood and then some random carpet for stablity as I opened doors by reaching and pulling under the bottom edge. I finally made my way outside and as the front door closes behind me there is slience. I become dimly aware that there had been background noise like some sort of strange music.

The air was cool and had a slight smell of rain. I am walking now but the dream is still half formed. I call out, "HELLO?" noting the dream sound of my voice. It's always so odd.

I half wake up back to SP

I stay realxed and feel vibrations and hear that sound that I haven't heard in a long time. Again it feels so hard to do my normal transitions so I revert to just pure visualization. At first it feels like am faking it but it soon forms a full dream. I see my hands again and I easily made my way outside. I realize that I had been mindlessly pulling up segments of my front sidewalk and there is soft mud below. I remember my task to tunnel down to crystal cave so I do with it. The mud is so thick and dark that I am not really getting anywhere. I decide to make an opening by speading my hands and ripping a wide hole in the ground. That seems to be working but I half wake again.

I visualize randomness and find myself in a lying in log ride that looks like something from Silver Dollar City. I just go with it and wait it dosn't last long.

Back in bed. I try to move but can't. Wait no vibrations. Now, I don't know if it was bordom or menthol but I becan to visualize and form a full sexual fantasy to completion. I'll spare you the details.

I was back in SP again when I heard my son crying. That snapped me out of it.

I was lazy last night and didn't keep any dream notes. Luckily I still remember 3 but I think I'm still forgetting one. Maybe it will come to me later. I was going for WILD/DEILD but at each awakening my wife's snorring made it hard to consentrate. I couldn't even try MILD or SSILD. It didn't help that at the beggining of the night I was dealing with restless leg syndrom and a few time during the later part of the morning. If I hadn't just come from the relciner befrore my WBTB I would have moved there to escape the snoring. The odds seem to be stacked against my reaching lucidity lately.

BOLD = Dream Cues

#1 - NLD

I am cooking fajita meat. There is a premature baby laying on the prep table wrapped in a tortilla. I feel confused how and why the beef looks like a baby. I wonder if I should just bite it's head off or wait for it to change on it's own.

I look up and notice at the small table in the middle of the street. I see a device like the TV remote but know it records audio and video. I see my ex-wife arrested in a cop car. I turn the audio up and say "Oh I've got to see this!" Turns out she had been involved in some shady dealing involving sex and she had been living a double life. It was no surprise to me. I woke up.

#2 - NLD

I was shopping in a department store for some shorts and jeans. There was a huge unblievable sale were everything was 2 for $10. The clothes I really wanted were completely sold out but I found something I liked. I looked at the brand of jeans I am trying on and it has the DW symbol. The 11th Doctor shows up and tell me it was destiny that I bought those jeans. He says something about having lots of adventrues ahead like I was to be the next Doctor.

I put him aside for a second and began to worry that these jeans are so cheap because of Chinese Slave labor. I thought of how IWL I read an article where a slave worker put a "help me" note in some halloween decorations.

I get online and look up the store that I was buying from. Everyone said it was "Cetified Approved" meaning it was "Fair Trade". I was relieved to find this out but then I woke up.

# 3 - NLD

I am at work at the old 13st facility. Something about talking to Hobee in the break room. We run out of work so they put me and two others in tha back to count and organize some stuff in storage. After moving stuff around I notice that it seems like it got really late. I look at the time and see its almost 6:30PM. One guy that looks like someone I knew in elementary school is asleep on a pallet. I wake him and tell him we will be locked in here all weekend if we don't leave. He didn't seem to care and would not wake up. I woke up.