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    Lucid Dreams

    1. Burn With Me

      by , 07-08-2014 at 01:33 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #334 - DEILD - 4:31AM

      I have to say this dream is really memorable for me. Inspired by Dreamer, I decide before hand that I would devote an entire lucid dream to learning pyrokinesis. Not only did I begin to see a breakthrough in something I have been struggling to learn but did something completely insane. The amount of pain that I felt tops any dream pain I have ever experienced. It wasn't intolerable but it was definitely uncomfortable. To compare it to waking like I'd have to say it was close to the feel of a slight oven burn a few seconds after the fact. I know it sounds slightly masochistic but I really enjoyed the sensations. It was fascinating how pain can be so realistic in the dream state. It makes me wonder what the limits are.

      I have a strange work dream where they got a new wire cut machine. It's in the old facility and everything is arranged all wrong.

      I wake, move around, stretch, cough and get comfortable. I feel pretty awake so this time I focus on breathing meditation and body relaxation. After a while I am back at work but too focused on breathing to be lucid. I am standing at a computer terminal and a DC tells me that I am breathing too fast. I see a window on the screen with the value '100'. I am able to edit, so I change it to '70'. My breathing slows way down and I become self aware again.

      Now, I am in bed still focused on breathing. I have a little trouble with it like usual but I try to maintain while I relax my body. I realize I was waiting for vibrations but understand it's not going to happen this time. I do notice my body feels oddly flat, so I try to move and get out of bed easily.
      I am in my childhood home in Texas. I'm getting pretty used to this location so I just treat it like normal and make my way outside while still focusing on breathing. When I reach the front door and decide I am too excited and let it go allowing my breath to speed up.

      Outside, I decide to walk the streets while practicing my ultimate dream control wish; shoot fireballs from my hands. I thought about this some in waking life and had decided to use some energy practices from AP before hand. It doesn't seem to be doing anything, so I go with something I am more familiar with like throwing rocks. I blind summon softball sized stones and throw. I don't see them leaving my hand but I see them hitting the road and rolling away. It's a start, I suppose.

      Now I try to move on to fire. I think of how easily Dreamer uses fire in her dream and how she says it's all about belief. I think of a cigarette lighters as I try starting a flame by snapping my fingers, but I am only getting sparks. Still, this is really encouraging and I continue for about a minute. Eventually, my fingers get twisted up and I can no longer snap. Rather than getting too caught up in the finger issue I try to think of another way to go about this.

      I have been walking quite a bit and notice I have been walking my usual path to my old high school and have arrived without even really trying. We used to live really close so this never took very long even in waking life. As I take steps closer, the building morphs into the inside of the school cafeteria. I see a rack with small bags of Lay's Plain Potato Chips and something in the center with a flame like a pilot light. I get an excited idea to start my fireball by first setting my hand on fire "externally". When I touch the flame I feel a sharp, intense, constant pain. I loudly whisper, "SHIT! THAT HURTS!" Stubbornly, I keep my hand in a little longer. When I feel that the tips of my fingers are holding the flame I move it out and lift my hand up like a torch. The pain is still there but has lessened a little. I see cafeteria workers milling about in white uniforms in my peripheral vision. They don't seem to care that I am lighting my hand on fire and I mostly ignore them. After a moment, the flames seem to be dieing away and I look for the pilot light again. I find a pot boiling cut up potatoes but instead of steam rolling from the top I see fire. This time I put my entire right hand in. The pain is way more intense this time. It's probably the worst dream pain I've ever experienced. I just keep my hand in muttering, "Shit that hurt's."

      After a satisfactory amount of time I withdraw my hand seeing it fully engulfed in flame. The pain is still really bad but I do my best to ignore it. I stare at my hand enjoying the beauty of the flame and doing my best to take in all the little details; I want a strong visual for when I actually summon fire later on. I enjoy the realness of the vivid colors; yellow and orange/red ending in blue. But most importantly, my flesh is unharmed in spite of how bad it hurts. It almost looks like really good, but really bad CG. I begin to think about trying to shoot flames or fireballs but before I can try it the dream fades and I return my physical body awareness.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    2. Planet Paint

      by , 07-06-2014 at 07:02 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #333 - DEILD - 4:11AM

      The LDs have been slowing down lately so I was really happy to have such an interesting journey even if it was a little short.

      I have a dream where I am pooping in a bed with a toilet and trying to wipe without making a mess.

      I wake and stay relaxed. I try focusing on a space in the room but its not doing much for me. I switch to focusing a few feet off my crown. After a few seconds I feel mild vibrations. I maintain my focus while contemplating if its go time or not. Suddenly, without any effort I am sucked through the wall at the head of the bed and float up several feet almost in a swinging motion. I have part of the sheets in my right hand and it seems to still be attached to the bed on one end. I let go and decide to practice my flying and hope to make it to another planet.

      I notice it's daytime and the sky seems overcast and rainy. (Interestingly, It rained all morning here and I had no idea.)I rise up and look down at the houses but then my vision goes haywire. It's as if I am tossed around and spinning in flight. I see a mixture of ground, sky, and deep space overlaid with strange alchemist symbols. I don't get too caught up in making things look right but only focus on moving up faster and faster while I make swimming motions. My right hand brushes over something solid. It feels like maybe someone is there. I am mildly curious but I ignore it not wanting to get off track.

      After a moment, things stabilize. I am in deep space with very few stars. I turn around and get a crystal clear view of a blue planet with three moons. I physically feel my eyes open wide and focus. The planet seems to be mostly water with just a few small continents or really large islands scattered about.

      I focus on moving toward it and am drawn to it at ultra high speed. I see something like pixelated, 8-bit bubbles against the blue of the oceans as my vision briefly fades out. No worries.



      I focus to see believing that I am now on the surface. In a split second, I see what looks like a beach but everything seems to be like an oil painting and very low resolution. The water and the sands seems to undulate and swirl but not mix like oil and water. I shout, "Does anyone live here?" I take in a 360 view of the area but its all the same. The scene fades out.

      I am only partially awake as I recall the thing my hand touched while flying and decide to find it now. I mentally feel around me with both hands. My wife is on my left and I pinch her. She feels too soft and very...boneless. I stop and probe out to my right. It just feels like my bed extends way farther than it should. I start to wonder if I am really moving my arms and if I am actually awake or dreaming. I fall non lucid as I contemplate this.


      I walk around a corner and catch Kristen Bell just before she enters a small room. I say, "Veronica!" I grab her at the waist and kiss her. The feel of her body against mine was vivid. My wife comes around the corner asking me what I am doing. I quickly let go of her and say, "nothing" as I walk away, leaving a very stunned and speechless celebrity standing alone.

      Updated 07-07-2014 at 03:03 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , task of the month
    3. The Gas Station

      by , 06-29-2014 at 04:37 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #332 - DILD - 6:49AM (Challenge Attempt #4 - success)

      I am sitting in the passenger seat in my car parked at a gas station. Wurlman was driving but he has got out to get something from the back seat. We are having some conversation as he is fishing through a duffel bag behind me. For some reason I ask to borrow his shades.
      He replies, "They stretched off."
      I think there is some dirty joke there but I leave it. I turn to look at the flip down mirror and realize I have just summoned my own pair. Fully lucid now I say, "That's OK. I got my own. [sunglasses]" I notice that my vision has not been darkened though I am wearing shades. I take them off and realize my left eye is blurry but my right eye is as sharp and clear as waking life. For a moment, I see an extra lens over my left eye. I blink hard and look closer in the mirror. My left eye now looks black. I blink again and everything is as it should be except my eyes look really bloodshot. Im ok with that.

      Wurlman has left and I sit in the car waiting. I wonder why I am dreaming of being in the passenger seat. I almost always have to drive no matter what. I have a false memory about traveling with Wurlman in waking life. That's probably why I am dreaming this. I feel really happy just sitting here being lucid. I love my life. I love being alive; waking and sleeping.

      Suddenly, I recall the challenge. DTHOUGHTS! I look around and see multiple DCs. There's a guy at the pump and few walking to and from the store. I quickly get out of the car and this causes some instability. I focus visually and the dream settles. I begin looking around using expectation to find Dthoughts. In front of me, I see my wife and kids getting in our green Nissan. My wife has a strained expression on her face and I feel that she wants my help with something. I look away not wanting to get sucked into another scenario. Looking back at the gas pumps, I see the guy still getting gas, but a different DC digitally materializes before me. He's a young man with long hair in a ponytail. He's wearing a long sleeve, solid red shirt with brown or khaki pants possibly with some patter on them. Pajamas? I just know this has to be Dthoughts. I rush over to him looking his face over. His features shift and I can't tell what he looks like but he seem very disoriented and has trouble standing. I say, "Dthoughts? Are you OK man?" I take his arm to keep him from falling over. He seems very confused and has a distant look on his face. He doesn't answer but just nods. That's when I wake up.

      Updated 06-29-2014 at 04:41 PM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    4. Thunderstorm

      by , 06-29-2014 at 04:12 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #331 - WILD - 6:07AM (Challenge Attempt #3)

      It takes some time getting adjusted and falling back into a WILD. Almost another hour spent.

      This time I have a visual WILD as I focus above my head like before. I hear thunder and notice lightning from the windows. I am not fooled into a FA but I think maybe external noise is causing this. Maybe it really is storming outside. I realize that I have easily got out of bed without even trying. I wave my arms some to note the dream-like feel just to be sure that this is a dream. I hear my dog barking. Again, I wonder if it's external. Surely not. That would wake us all.

      As I reach for the door knob to leave, I notice my right arm feels extra weak and numb. I remember rolling to my right side while trying to settle down to WILD and worry that I'm sleeping on my arm in the wrong way. I know I'm not going to wake up to check and possibly have to start my WILD over so I let it go for now.

      I enter the living-room and begin searching for Dthoughts. I shout, "Dtunes. Dtunes." (yeah I got it wrong again) There is no one in the house. I continue to hear and see thunder and lighting from the storm. I try CL's summon but this one just doesn't work for me. Suddenly, I have a horribly nagging feeling that Dthoughts is sleeping in the my bed next to my wife. I really don't want to find that but if that's how I can find them then whatever. It's just a dream, right? In spite of that feeling, I find the bed completely empty. The light is on and I notice the bed looks almost like some strange hospital bed; nothing like waking life. I search the bathroom and make my way back to the my son in his crib. There are no other people but I see my son sleeping peacefully.

      Suddenly, I remember an idea to enter a sleeping DCs mind to see could intrude on their dreams. I fall into the crib and my dream body phases right into his skull. What does a child this age dream? Does he dream like I do? There is brief darkness and I slowly open my eyes. I see the room from his point of view. I feel small, lying there in the crib. I hear thunder and lightning flashes form the window. This is disappointing. I blink but this time I open my physical eyes. It is not storming outside.
      Categories
      lucid
    5. Intruder

      by , 06-29-2014 at 03:45 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #330 - WILD - 5:15AM

      It turned out to be a challenging night for dreaming but I managed a few LDs thanks to Galantamine and my exceptional concentration.
      This first one is hardly worth noting since it got cut short. However, it took me an hour to WILD without breaking concentration so I have to count it; A for effort. I did manage to get fully in a dream, but my poor wife's allergies has been getting in the way of my LDing.


      I get to a point where I feel that I am nearing the shift in consciousness so I begin to focus a few feet off the crown of my head Robert Monroe style. The vibrations start and, as usual, I wait a while for them to reach a point that feels right. Suddenly, I hear a sound like someone is coming the front door. It's startling and I physically try to get up to check it out but I am locked in SP pretty hard. I force myself to relax knowing that I am actually in a light sleep and any external stimuli will for sure wake me; That sound is just part of the dream.

      Slowly, I change to my dream body and get out of bed. I think about phasing through the bedroom door but as I try, I feel a burst of energy inside of me. So instead of phasing, I release the energy at the door, silently shattering it like glass. Oddly, as I move forward, I am pushed backward and the door is repaired. I settle for using the door knob.

      The living room is way too dark but there is some dim moonlight in the kitchen. In the darkness I feel as though there is an intruder in the house. Did this entity repair the door? With tempered fear I focus on creating some light. I try the light switch but it falls off in my hand as I frantically push the button. It's no use. I try using a voice command, but I feel like my mouth is sealed and my voice is strained. This happens a lot. Maybe I am trying to talk in my sleep? I decide not to get caught up on all that and use thought instead. As I clap my hands, I shout in my mind, "LIGHTS ON!" The kitchen light shutters and flickers causing a visual hiccup in the dream. As I visually refocus, my wife's turns over waking me.


      I decide to spend the rest of the night in my daughter's empty bed.

      Updated 06-29-2014 at 04:13 PM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    6. Lucid Brew (Challenge Attempt #2)

      by , 06-28-2014 at 06:39 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #329 - DEILD - 7:56AM

      I entered into a vibrational state earlier in the morning but my wife moved and wrecked it. without moving, I focused on a point in the center of the room and visualize a rising sensation. The vibrations returned but my wife did a full rollover. The vibrations lingered but slowly faded. I assumed it was all ruined but now I think I should have tried a nose plug. I feel back to sleep or fell non-lucid without trying again. I was highly irritated!

      I recall a few non lucid dreams... Ernest is a work making his way to the front during a plant-wide meeting. Instead of being bald, he has an exaggerated undercut. He looks at me intensely for a moment. I wonder when he grew all that hair. When he gets to the front the plant manager says Ernie has something to say. When he opens his mouth his hair starts to fall. He takes it off and now it looks like he had a long ponytail that was just piled on top. He adjusts and now it was just a super long beard wrapped around his head. I try to do the same thing but realize I only keep a short goatee. Someone tells me that I should not try to look like Ernie.

      I am in some version of my parents home. I have to pee really badly so I find a toilet. Unfortunately, is just a really small porcelain tube coming out of the floor. I do my best but urine bounced back on me and my khakis somehow close up, causing me to pee all over myself. I think that something feels really familiar and I must be missing something. (Almost lucid) I am too upset about peeing allover the place to thing about this any longer. I go change.


      I partially awaken and try to DEILD. This time I felt no vibrations; it was all visual. I forgot to be alert to this and end up in the dream slightly longer than I should have. At some point I realize that I am feeling the walls and the sensation is dream like. I look around and decide this is much more than vivid HI.

      Maybe it was left over residue from a non-lucid dream but I feel the need to make a "lucidity brew". I search this house; a mixture of past and current dwellings. I spy my nightstand though it's in an odd place. There is an empty water bottle. I fill it in a nearby sink, dump it out, rinse, and then fill it to the halfway mark. I feel like the water is taking too long to fill up and I worry about idle time. It tends to wake me up. Having thought that, I now have enough water. Now I need some yeast. I go back to the nightstand and find bits of paper. I look at one trying to form the word "YEAST". There is a bunch of words like something from a cutup page from a book. I try to read them and only see two words because the the text shifts and changes too quickly. "Monster" and "Cautious". Hmm this must have been something from the previous dream. I have no memory of this but I feel it's true. Anyway, I decide that if I just pretend this piece of paper is a packet of yeast it will work. I quickly tear and end and pour. Whitish-yellow powder falls out into the water. I pause now. I realize what I am doing it pointless. I'm going to start brewing something that could take weeks to ferment? It won't be here later. It's just a dream... Oh well, I'm too committed to stop.I worry that interrupting the flow of the dream will cause it do destabilize. I continue my brewing. Now that I have water an yeast I need something else to ferment. I search bottles on the nightstand and see some dark liquid in a small 5oz. I pour that in and shake it all up. I realize this is a really crude way to make a brew but I know that it doesn't matter here. I decide to put the mixture inside the nightstand so I can find it later. I'm still partially sold on the idea that it will be there when I wake up. It's at least worth a try.

      I walk away and wonder what the brew would do? Would it cause lucidity? Or induce greater control? I come back from my thoughts take in the dream environment. I pause a moment to enjoy the feeling of being in a lucid dream. I am really pleased with myself since I didn't get lucid earlier in the week. I really missed this. Suddenly, I recall wanting to find Dthoughts for the challenge. I am in a hallway that looks oddly familiar. I try expectation as I come to a room. I shout, "Aaaaaanddd, DTHOUGHTS!" Its a kitchen that looks like an old house of mine and empty of any DCs. I am truly shocked at this. I turn around to the door to the garage, open the door and blindly reach in really trying to find a hand and expecting one to find mine. I end up running my hand along the wall until I find an electrical outlet. I decide I to give up and go for plan B.

      I reach into my right pocket and pull out my cell phone, blindly push the touch screen say, "Dthougths." I put the phone to my ear and I am pleased to hear it ringing on the other end. After the second one a girl's voice answers, "Hello?"
      I reply, "Yes, I'm trying to reach Dthoughts."
      "Oh yeah..."
      I hear another voice from somewhere in the background, "I'm here." I know it's Dthoughts. The voice is of a young prepubescent boy. (Sorry. I have no idea how old you are!)
      The girl continues, "This is Mike right?"
      I am on the right track here... I think. "Yeah... No...This is XANOUS."
      I have wondered into the living room while talking on the phone. My Dad comes is from outside and starts talking about wanting to play a game with me. I put a hand up and ignore him as I walk out a second front door. I don't want any distractions.
      The girl has been saying something that doesn't makes sense to me. My attention was divided when my dad came in but now I refocus. "So just let me talk him."
      She girl responds more clearly, "Well you were just calling to say 'hi' right? Is there anything else you wanted?"
      Is she really about to hang up? I try to make myself more clear, "I just want to speak to Dtunes. (How did I f up the name here? Dtunes is an iPhone hack) I want to say 'Hi'." I realize I sort of repeated her and chuckle internally.
      Finally, she seems to get it and says, "OK. Hold on."
      I wait and listen to silence on the phone. While I am on hold I take notice of the area. I step off a curb and walk pasts a blue 80's model Buick parked on the street. The trees are a really bright green. I am on hold too long and have worries about waking up. Sure enough I feel like I am visually sucked into a black vortex and return to my physical body.

      Updated 06-28-2014 at 06:50 PM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    7. Restrooms

      by , 06-22-2014 at 03:23 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #328 – DILD – 7:30AM

      I have a non-lucid before a DILD that I found really interesting. I walk into a kitchen with a patio door and a dinning table. I walk past Canislucidus talking to a “real-life” version of Joe Swanson from Family Guy. CL is saying something about having to take his relationship to the next level with his girlfriend. Joe is giving him some sage-like advice. I don't recall the words but the sound of his voice is very prominent and there is talk of pregnancy.

      As I sit at the table, I somehow equate CL's imaginary relationship problems with my Father-In-Law and his ex-girlfriend. I think she is way too old to get pregnant. My wife is setting to my right and I try to verify what's going on but I don't understand what she is saying.

      I forget all this when I look down and realize I am eating a bowl of something. There is a man in a business suit at the other end of the table eating the same thing. I speak to my wife about what I am eating and it's contents. It is called “Rat Pack” and has Honey Nut Cheerios, honey roasted peanuts, honey roasted almonds, and raisins all covered in honey. I think this would be better with raw quick oats to make a muesli. I enjoy the sweet and salty taste but after awhile my mouth begins to feel dry. The businessman at the end of the table starts choking and gasping. I think he should go get a drink. After a moment he leaves like he's about to vomit. I worry that I should stop eating but I feel fine so I continue. After a few more bites I wake up.

      I fervently recall the dream and the recipe and the name, “Rat Pack”, I feel like I can't move when I try to record it and I fall into another non-lucid dream.

      I am sitting on the floor writing on a white tiled wall with a dry-erase marker.
      “Cheerios.” “Peanuts.” “Almonds.”
      Someone passes behind me and comments on what I am doing. I glance over my shoulder and assure he or she that it's just dry-erase. This person seems satisfied with that answer and walks away. When I get to the last of it, I am now in a grocery isle writing on large economy-sized cans of product. I leave feeling slightly awkward.

      I find myself in a hospital. I really have to pee so I enter the first restroom I find. I am shocked when I open the door. It just just a sterile white empty room with a blank slab where the sink was. Everything has been removed. I leave, stop at a nurses station, and find a dark-skinned woman in an old-style nurses uniform complete with the hat. I tell her, “All these bathrooms are cleaned out. Sterilized! There's not even a hole in the sink! That one, and that one, and that one, and probably that one.” I point as I speak. I don't recall being in so many restrooms but I believe it here. There's a restroom to my right that I haven't been in, but I am sure its going to be the same. While I am speaking and thinking things out, It dawns on me that this is probably a dream but I continue on without a break in my monologue, “Now this is either the Twilight Zone or I am dreaming. I am pretty sure that I am dreaming so I'll just make a bathroom.” I notice there are now three nurses at the station just wordlessly looking at me. The other two look a little more modern in style. I give them a quick glance as I walk away.

      When I enter the restroom, I am pleased to see a toilet and a sink. I shout, “BAM!” and close the door. I really feel the need to pee so I do just that. I realize as I am peeing, that this will do me no good. I feel no relief and worry that I will actually pee the bed. I keep a check on the sensation of peeing and assure myself that I'm not actually peeing. I push a little harder and pee a little more to prove it to myself. Gutsy! I know I am dreaming and none of this is happening but I go ahead and finish up by washing my hands. The liquid soap and running water feels slightly numb but otherwise realistic. I stare at myself in the mirror. My face is blurry and watery but mostly normal. I make faces at myself and do a really hyper-crazy dance. I am just so excited to be lucid in a dream!

      I forget about drying and leave the restroom. I feel the water dripping so I wipe my hands on my pants as I head back to the first nurse I saw earlier. I say, “See? I made one over there. You better use it while it lasts.” The nurse has a suddenly surprised look on her face. Her eyes are wide as she hurriedly scrambles over the top of the counter, making a mad dash for the toilet. I am very amused as the dream fades.
      I really need to pee!
      Categories
      lucid
    8. Dream Challenge #1

      by , 06-22-2014 at 03:01 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #327 – WILD/ DEILD chain – 4:53AM

      I started this WILD at 4AM and while it took some time to relax and quiet my mind I don't recall it feeling like an hour long experience, though the dream was really long. Perhaps I woke to vibrations and didn't realize I fell asleep? I spend a lot of time bouncing from vibrations in SP to little dreamlets to transitioning out of bed to DEILDing back to SP vibrations so I don't really recall all of it. Most of it was boring garbage anyway.

      The main part is that after another DEILD, I saw the bathroom light on so I go in there. I take a good look in the mirror and I look mostly normal. Then I do a variation of Canislucidus' summon. Instead of reaching behind myself, I close the door slightly and blindly reach into the bedroom hoping Dthoughts would show up. I end up just grasping at the air until my hand switches in my physical body causing me to have to DEILD again.

      There is one transition were I am just walking in the void but I can see the silver cord. I don't get very far and I have a falling sensation back to my body.

      I lucidly observe a lot of dream content but don't take any control. It was interesting to act out a dreamlet without even trying. I guess that explains a lot of erratic behavior even while lucid. I recall one where I am on my knees on the floor next to my wife in bed. We are talking and I have a phone in my hand. I push play and I hear a conversation with my daughter then I hear myself in the podcast. My voice morphs and changes. I decide to take control hear and do a little hand rubbing but the dream collapses back to another DEILD.

      One of my bedroom exits my wife calls my name but I ignore it. I am not sure what happens next but I don't get very far.

      I try to phase through the bedroom door as I hear my wife calling my name again. This time I decide to stop and listen. I try to ask her “what” but my mouth is stuck shut so I try to communicate telepathically. “What babe? What do you want?” but she never responds.

      There was a lot more experiences but nothing worth noting. I eventually roll over and hope for a DILD.
      Categories
      lucid
    9. The Object In The Sky

      by , 06-20-2014 at 03:42 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #326 – DILD – 2:54AM

      I'm not sure why I keep dreaming of this place but I really hate it.

      I am at my ex-wife's parent's house picking up a computer that my ex gave me. I spend a lot of time talking to her father and brother but she doesn't want to come out of the bedroom to talk to me. I'm fine with that. I check out the computer and wonder if she bothered to wipe the hard drive. I wonder what I'll find on it.

      I end up outside and load a whole desk with a computer on some truck by myself while her dad and brother are “supervising”. The sky quickly turns dark and I look up. I am surprised to see a strange, bright neon-lit, geometric pattern in the sky. It looks something like an abstract kite floating to-and-fro in a bright star nebula. I am shocked and so excited that I blurt out, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”
      Her father seems annoyed and in a tone that suggests he'd rather not talk about it says, “Oh... I don't know.” And waves me off.
      Suddenly, I recognize this old and familiar dream-sign and say the old and familiar phrase, “I am dreaming. This is a dream.” I turn to the two DCs next to me and arrogantly say “See you guys later”

      I don't quite recall my goal [meet extraterrestrials] but I feel this is close to whatever I had planned. I jump up to take flight to the odd thing in the sky but I only do a short hop. The gravity still feels light but I feel heavier than usual for a dream. “Wait. Maybe I'm not [dreaming]” I do nose plug and blow cleanly through. “OK. I am [dreaming]” Keeping my eyes on the target, I jump again. This time it's much higher but again, I come right back down. I try once more with added effort. I feel like I this time I will make it, but at the last second, my ex-brother-in-law grabs my foot. I look down at him as we fall together into a black abyss. The look on his face is ferocious but I have no emotion.

      I am fooled by a false awakening and I tell myself this is the second lucid of the night [false memory]. Immediately I start recording the dream, but I feel clumsy and my eyes are out of focus. I think maybe I am just really sleepy. I try to stand up to concentrate more on the touch screen but the blankets seem attached to my head. I fight them off and wake my wife. The sound of the sheets is really loud. My wife asks me what's wrong but I shush her as I am super focused on typing the first word of the dream but I still can't see. I suddenly wake up.
      Categories
      lucid
    10. G Fail and Ghost Car

      by , 06-18-2014 at 02:35 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      Just some quick notes and lucid experiences. Nothing worth counting.

      Saturday night was G night. Had typical DEILDly SP that went no where and didn't last long.

      Early this morning I drank a homemade cold latte:
      I was at a dealership and the sales rep was trying to talk us into trading in our Dodge Journey for a newer Dodge Lancer but It looked almost identical to the Journey. He told us our interest was way lower but because it was lower that they had to raise it some so our payments would be $25 higher. I look at some documents in my hand. At the top I read "DAWDGE LANCER" Jesus they can't even spell Dodge. Is that intentional as some sort of loophole to scam me?, I thought. This whole thing seemed really sketch so I told him I wasn't interested. I comment to my wife that I really like the Journey and thought we were going to keep it indefinitely. As we leave all the salesmen break into a song and dance. I scoff and walk away.

      Wake DEILD effort.

      I am climbing in a window several stories at the dealership. I am now one of the sales reps and I arrive too late to join the song and dance.

      I am riding in a vehicle having some conversation and become lucid. A ghostly car outside the window catches my attention. The dream morphs and turns black... all but the car. It looks like an actual Dodge Lancer. For some reason I put my hands in front of me as I say out loud in a sort of whine, "I HAD GOALS!" I can't recall them. The dream fades.
      Categories
      lucid
    11. The Astral Challenge

      by , 06-14-2014 at 09:11 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #325 – DILD – 4:25AM

      I woke earlier and attempted DEILD but fell non lucid. I later have a dream that I only remember the premise of. Basically, I was challenged to enter the Astral Plain and find several other dreamers in a type of spook house setting. Four or five of us had pitched in $20 each and the winner takes the pot. I quickly find a place to lay down and focus on my “third eye” area in a type of meditation. I have random thoughts of what the spook house would be like and I fear that my expectations would create a bad schema, so I put it out of my mind.

      Later... was it later? I notice my dream body feels odd and my hands are numb. I have the feeling that I lost consciousness briefly and woke to SP. Fully lucid now, I slowly get up and take labored steps around a dark room. My vision starts to clear and I see a wild haired version of my self cast on the wall from the moonlit window. I ignore it and search for a way out of the room.

      As the lights come on, the bedroom looks nothing like any place I have ever been and I see other people sleeping. The premise of the entire reason for getting lucid takes over and I fully believe it as reality. For some reason I thing of those people sleeping as the other participants. I remember that I am supposed to actually teleport to the spook house to find six people. I try summoning a vortex but that wont come. Then, I visualize a door but it's just a strange outline on the wall. Then, I see an open closet with a very small door in back. I try to fit in but the dream becomes unstable as I try to shrink myself. Finally, I give up and leave through an actual door in the room. I decide it will take me where I need to go using expectation.

      As I enter a dark hallway I see two guys lumbering toward me like zombies. I feel a little afraid but assume they are the two of the six. I point this out and walk away. My recall is a little hazy here but basically, I make my way through a large house until I find all six men in pairs. Suddenly, I remember to find an object to continuously stabilize though I probably didn't need this at this point. There is some sort of strange wire sculpture on an end table and I take it up. I feel it in my right hand and on my arm. It's light but sort of large.

      I am still completely sold on the idea of the Astral Challenge and start talking to one of the guys about it all. I am very chatty in this dream and don't remember all that was said but we pretty much decide that everyone completed the challenge. I make a comment that I guess we just each take back our own $20. I realize I am holding a beer and say, “And the beer...” I look at a box of Bud Light. “I should have brought an 18 pack...” The box suddenly shows “18”. “Er, I mean a 24 pack. I could drink 18 all by myself.” I laugh out loud.
      The guy I am talking to stays silent. I take a drink not paying attention to the feel or taste and set the can down. I remember I was holding an object and bring my attention back to it. The object has now sort of melted and morphed into something undefinable. I drop it and search for something else. We are in a kitchen with a sliding glass patio door. I see something like nails or screws on the kitchen counter. I take one and pause. Do I want a nail or screw? I decide it should be a screw since it has more texture and rigged to feel. I hold it in my right hand feeling it with my thumb as I continue the conversation. I say something about this spook house being in the “The Astral Plain” as I make quotation marks with my fingers. I say some other things and then, realizing I have completed my task, I should think of something else to do. I am amazed at how long this dream has been. I don't want it to end but I am afraid that I will forget parts of it. I think back a little and feel like I have a good grasp on things. I turn to the guy with me and ask, “Hey, do you want to go outside and play?” I am thinking of flying and figure it would be fun to have some company since I still believe this guy is another dreamer. He nods and we step outside through the patio doors to a back deck.

      The yard is fairly large and has a privacy fence. I can see a busy road just beyond that and pickup passes by. Together we jump off over the railing trying to fly but we both have trouble. We hover just above some thick brush with razor-wire on top. Though I know that I am dreaming and believe that if I just land I will pass through the brush, I fear the razor wire. I flap my arms furiously and comment that razor-wire is a good motivator for flying. As I slowly make my way around the obstacle I have thoughts of waking. I try to force it away as I know this will be enough to end the dream. As I push past my Astral buddy, the dream fade away and I wake up. My recall is exceptionally slow and it takes several minutes to remember this dream. Worrisome!

      Categories
      lucid
    12. Meteor

      by , 06-08-2014 at 09:24 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #324 – DEILD – 5:46AM

      I have a bad dream about my dad stepping around in my garden. I become overly angry and shout horrible things at him. He doesn't seem to understand what's doing on and I complain to my mom.

      I wake and enter DEILD. This time I say a mantra and focus on forming energy in my hands. Within a few seconds I notice that my hands are moving back and forth really fast. I know that I have entered the dream and it feels natural to open my dream eyes. I note my physical eyes feel shut but also open and I stare at the ceiling for a moment suddenly unsure if it's the dream or reality. The early morning light is filtering in the window and all seems super realistic, but I note the feel of my body. It has a physical quality but also numb like I've applied Novocain all over. Rather than worry too much about this, I decide to get up out of bed. Instead of my usual transition, I have to make all the necessary movements as in waking life. The numbness is really noticeable here, but I get too caught up on it; I am too excited to attempt the Meteor Task Of The Month.

      I step out the front door and see the sun rising in the east. The amount of light is just enough that I don't have to struggle to see for once. For some reason, I am really surprised how pleasantly cool the air feels. Why did I think it would be hot? I chuckle and comment something out loud. To start up the task, I begin looking around at the sky with expectation. I try to imagine and visualize a fireball plummeting to the Earth but nothing forms. I even try making fiery sounds with my mouth, but sounds really lame and kiddish. The steet is empty of all traffic and people and the clouds seem extra colorful and fluffy. I am tempted to try flying, but I remain focused on the task.

      I decide to walk around the area some still expecting a meteor. I notice that I haven't taken a step this whole dream. I just glide everywhere. Somehow, this gives me a though to Hulk jump to a new area, but it becomes more of a puny moon hop. I try flapping my arms to try to gain more height and I only hover a few feet in the air. Ok I give up.

      Whatever travel took place during all this, was actually more that I had thought as I am now in front of the high school stadium, several blocks away. There are no people around, save for an middle aged Asian woman behind a classic lemonade stand. I can't see what she is selling but she is wiping down the counter as if trying to keep busy. I think maybe I will ask her to summon the meteor for me as I cross the street. When I am near enough to speak, she doesn't look at me though I feel she saw me. Before I can open my mouth, I see a bright fiery flash of light to my left. Realizing that of course no words are necessary, I smile and wave at the woman and turn to the meteor impact.

      There's a blue and white townhouse on fire opposite of the stadium and several people are running around making a huge commotion, but no one seems to know what to do. I glide over to the house and stop at the unpainted picket fence. A man seems overly frantic so I give him a job, “Hey. Why don't you go call 911?” The man nods and runs off. I shrug and float closer to the house, but something weird happens.

      I am now standing in front of an extra large doll house that's nearly as tall as myself. I am amused and a little annoyed that the townhouse shrunk like this, but I think I can still finish the task. The entire thing still burning and the fire has become translucent and hardly noticeable. I see a large hole in the roof and another in the floor of the second level. I reach in to try to grab a the meteor though I don't really see it. It doesn't matter because it's like I am a ghost and my hand passes through anything I touch. An adolescent boy runs up, pushes past me and takes something out of the house. He turns to examine his cupped hands and I assume he grabbed the meteor as I look over his shoulder. I am surprised when I see he just has something like a large sliver of dark brownish glass like from a broken beer bottle. I hear a chiming noise that shatters all dream content. I wake, cursing myself for not silencing my cell phone before going to bed.

      I thought to DEILD but there was too much light in the room and I could not go back to sleep.

      Updated 06-08-2014 at 09:27 PM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid , memorable , task of the month
    13. Continuous Stablization and Repeat TOTM

      by , 06-04-2014 at 03:56 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #323 – WILDy DILDy ish – 3:36AM

      After my alarm @3 I focus on relaxation and body awareness. I am not sure but I think I entered a dream about trying to WILD and had one of those in-dream-WILDs... I think. It's really fuzzy there but I distinctly recall the vibes and exit.

      I fumble in the dark and see the kitchen from Luling. Oh man why? I don't want to be here. The area slowly lightens up but it still feels like night time. I remember to try a new take on stabilization and blindly feel around on the messy counter-top. I grab something like a cross between a cell phone and a cordless phone. I don't bother looking at it but keep it in my right hand, feeling every detail while I explore the dream; like a continuous stabilization. The dream grows and I wander into the living room, making my way to the door. As I do, I wonder if I entered the past and had literal AP. I wonder if all the haunting was really just me visiting from the future. I dismiss it as a product of all the reading I've been doing.

      When I step out the front door I hit a bit of void but I don't let it slow me down. I shout, “HELLOPMN” The left side of my lips seem stuck and it takes effort to free my jaw. I try again but with less enthusiasm, “Hello World.” I scoff at the throw back phrase from my programming days. The front yard forms but I am drawn to the street light since it is the only source of light. I do a check noting if my memory of the place is correct and it looks about right. Suddenly the dreams fades and I go into DEILD mode. I am disappointed when I realize how quickly I forgot about the phone.

      My wife stirs next to me and the DEILD is slow. I briefly lose lucidity.

      I find myself in the church and become lucid as I move about. I see a man and woman sitting in something like the nursery area. Still thinking like I am some disembodied spirit, I decide to prank them. I sneak between them and shriek loudly. The woman turns her head slightly to the man, “Do you hear that?”
      I shriek towards the man. “Yeah what is that? They don't seem afraid enough so I poke and push at them. This scares them enough that they decide to calmly leave the room. Suddenly, I feel bad for doing all this in a church. I worry that God will punish me and decide I better leave as well. Silly dream logic, I know. I spy a viewing window into the sanctuary and phase out. There is a strange moment where my vision is obscured by dirty glass longer than it should. I have to focus to make it go away. I see a man in the hallway that looks like Ross from work. He asks me, “What organ do you play?”
      My mother is standing there looking scandalized as she scoffs. I feel like he is being perverted and answer with disdain, “Uh, I play the guitar.”

      I follow my mother outside and suddenly feel smaller and child like. I feel really energetic and start boucing around as we head back to the house. It's still night time as we meet my father. He's staring by the old Geo Prism he used to own, talking about going some place. I look the car over and see it's not quite right. I ignore it, because I am too excited about riding along. Still very child like, I shout “Yeah! Let's go!” I hop in the back and my parents get in. I watch my dad turned around looking back to pull out of the driveway. I notice he's turn around way further than normal, but again, I dismiss the dream glitch. I have a thought that the dream has been really long. I am impressed. Suddenly, I recall the basic TOTM to repeat what a DC says for as long as you can.

      Me: Hey dad.
      Dad: What?
      Me: What?
      Dad: What?
      Me: What?
      Dad: What?
      Me: What?
      How long is he going to keep this up? My father looks at my mother.
      Dad: He keeps repeating me, hon.
      Me: He keeps repeating me, hon.

      I laugh as I repeat another phrase of his, I can't remember now because I am startled by his driving. He's a very bad driver in waking life and always scares the shit out of whomever is unfortunate enough to ride with. Anyway, we come to a 4-way stop but he does not appear to be slowing down. Out of reflex I shout, “DAD LOOK OUT!” I immediately realize my mistake as the quickly stops. I lost the game. “Oh man! You got me.” I chuckle at the whole thing. “Man you totally get me.”
      My father just keeps asking what I am talking about. I realize I am feeling an object in my hand. Its a part from work. I try to focus on it as I continue the dream. I remember there is another task I wanted to try but I can't seem to remember. I get caught on this and forget about the object in my hand. I try to remember as I try to continue a conversation, but It's all too much and I lose focus on the dream. It fades and decide to go ahead and let it go.

      Updated 06-04-2014 at 04:03 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
    14. Tornado and Electrics

      by , 06-02-2014 at 02:24 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #322 – DILD – 6:33AM

      I just didn't have near the amount of focus I usually do. I seemed to be overly sleepy at WBTB and much of the morning. The details of the dreams have gotten fuzzy now.

      I dream about a creepy movie (can't recall the details). I have a false awakening on the couch with my wife. We go outside and see a really small tornado. At the sight of it, I become lucid. I will the tornado to become bigger and let it suck me in. the dream goes dark and I enjoy flying and spinning around in the tornado.

      Suddenly, I find myself in the front yard and begin rubbing my hands to stabilize. I decide to practice lightning magic from my hands. I get a few sparks but it wont come like I want. There are some down powerlines nearby so I grab on to one as a booster. I feel myself absorbing energy as the dream fades out again.


      I lose lucidity to a false awakening. I'm in a house with some really annoying people people doing random crazy things. I think they must all be mentally ill. My cousin T is one of them. I ask my wife if we really have to stay here all weekend and she tells me we have one more day. I am really upset about this.
      Categories
      lucid
    15. The Most Important

      by , 05-30-2014 at 01:57 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #321 – DEILD – 3:22AM

      I wake at 3am and focus on body awareness and energy movement in my feet. I lose awareness briefly and come in and out with some semi-lucid moments.

      I wake and DEILD with body awareness. I see I am in my kitchen but there are cafeteria trays. Someone from work has one. I mistakenly see this as only HI as I take a tray. I decide that if I can fly and move my body I am dreaming. I start to hover on the tray as I walk forward. I nose plug and blow through.

      I partially wake realizing my eyes are already open. I'm fairly certain it was not a false awakening and I see faces in the darkness. It's creepy but I take it as a good sign. Hypnagogia is still high. I close my eyes and quickly enter vibes.

      I visualize movement and find myself in the living room. It's too dark but I see the cats running in a circle around me but it's really odd. Half of the circle is them jumping on the couch and running on the wall as they come around in front of me. I decide to play with them but they are too quick. On impulse, I grab a ceiling fan blade and hold on. There is pain in my hand but I quickly dispel the sensation. As I airplane around the room attached to the fan, I am able to stretch my body and swoop down at the cats but they are mostly hiding now. Against my will, I feel my face distort into something monstrous. I ignore that and try to feel as normal as I can, but the cats seem truly afraid now.

      There is a light coming from my bedroom. I recall my goal of asking my subconscious a question and release the fan blade, gliding into the room. I see my wife and my double asleep in bed and find it very uncomfortable. I try my best to let that go. I land softly between the dream characters and pat my double on the stomach. He slowly wakes up looking very startled. He starts to run but I quickly make comforting gestures and sounds. He seems to recognize what is going on and quickly calms down.
      I say, “You're me right?”
      Me nods, “Yes.”
      I have a hard time remembering the question and I don't get it quite right. “Oh... Hey. What is the most important [thing] to you.
      Me quickly answers, “Imagination”
      I feel disappointed with the response, but I accept that right now it would be. Regardless, I wait a second longer hoping for more.
      Me seems to think harder, “Uh uh and... Nintendo.”
      I scoff at me and roll my eyes as I wake up. I always think of lucid dreaming as a video game.

      Updated 06-02-2014 at 02:06 AM by 5967

      Categories
      lucid
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