dream fragment

Oct 4 2018

Forgot abt. 3 which initly remembered, one was funny
Awoke 4:24
Walmart dream, with family (mine?) and little kids (cousins?), I'm searching for a wooden dowel/rod/block combo to hang something (for some reason can't just nail it to wall), looking on wrong aisle. Find right section and there are dowels with multi-colored clipboard rubber clamps, talk to fake dad
Buying stuff for the weekend, then not because ere are dowels with realized F not working
Crawling on ground, I'm avoidant then aggressive towards bees, crawl through G and other (they're talking - init'ly paid attention to what about)
Crawl & stand up, slight but fluid transition, in strip mall entrance w 30ish people, enter (door holding) they're nerdy, it's like a fitness center, black circle yoga/D&D combo - oh no, I forgot my socks! See Coran and L.L., talk about band & scars & fb, laughing
FA/TrEy., Carving into dresser, R.H. - didn't feel dreamlike, mote like vivid interactive visualization

Oct 2 2018

Suburb dusk hill orange green frag

City, F, cat? Frag

Long 9 dream. Mom criticizes F and I drinking sodas and eating swedish fish. We go in another room and I give her a present I prepared before I knew about the swedish fish. It comes in a little box that comes apart. Inside are the words "save" on one side and sth else on the other, in black pen. The present is gummy worms and I already ate one (vivid taste - could feel the sugar crystals, it was an orange and yellow one. She is disappointed and I'm trying to fix the wrapping, then I pull out 2 other things (long chocolate-covered pretzel like longer thicker pocky with no unchocolated "handle", and one of those Lunchable packs but with just real pocky, maybe cheese, and marshmallow fluff. I think at this point we were half in a 9 variation and half in a World Market snack section (I could see the aisles off past the couch. Natural white daylight from windows throughout.

At mall of sorts and/or bad part of town (day residue from warning a friend about New Orleans & Mardi Gras) with F. At first it's the town, we're driving a black sedan into a corner which I've been to alone recently (repitition), there are sketchy people going by. Suddenly realize it's a dead end (concrete wall) and we can't back up. Now we're in a mall rounding a display corner, don't remember what happened next. Orange light.

Go to movie theater, sit around middle on left side, for some reason I'm sitting behind F, it's packed. For some reason there's a listing of titles and showtimes on the screen as if we get to choose now that we're here already. We see a trailer for a new AHS movie which F says is just an episode but I don't believe her, in any case it looks awful. The screen changes and the lights are a little less dim and a college aged announcer guy gets on a microphone and starts to say some partyish stuff (reminds me of leading male from One Day during obnoxious announcer years). Some multicolored lights* start going and a select few people start getting up and dancing. A kid asks F to dance and I step in from behind and put my hand on his shoulder and say "sorry bud, she's taken", in a way that seems nice but he seems dejected. Then he asks me to dance! Not wanting to be inconsistent but feeling bad for him (he kind of looks like and reminds me of a younger version of myself) I kind of do a lame dance and then something I make up on the spot and call "the lightsaber*". He seems happier and F is laughing. Suddenly suction cups are being passed out and some girls are putting them on one of their breasts. I see F with one and get angry but it turns out the girl had one and it got stuck to F's knee. (maybe all of this has to do with my possessiveness?)

Anyway pretty vivid dreams tonight, but as I'm writing I feel like there's a big one I'm missing.

Oct 1 2018

Fragment 1 - With F in hotel or cabin - clearly feels like a form of temporary escape or travel-like lodging. There are layers that we're stacking in order to block this one segment of the house, we try to rearrange them in several different ways. For some reason we don't want to go outside, there's a deep sense of fear. The colors white and black are prominent.

Fragment 2 - In big field helping my dad move something (folding wooden ladder-like structure like an attic pull-down door, but huge. Dad loads it into back of vehicle, I'm laying my body on/across the top of it (several stories up) to "support it". We're driving across a daylit green field. Suddenly he's at the top with me. I see a roach and tell him, it turns out to be a scorpion, he squishes it and it oozes black ichor. Important colors - green, blue, black, wood-brown.

Fragment 3 - Nighttime, in hotel that is based off an elongated version of my apartment block; I'm walking around the outer perimiter and can see in to people's windows clearly. I round the corner and enter the hallway to a seemingly endless hallway of doors. I get spooked by the fact that they're all closed and think about the connection between doorways and expectation and become lucid.

Lucid 1 - I enter the door and see a strange sight - my hairdresser from childhood to the beginning of college, in an all-white small square room. She's a stocky woman with short dyed-red hair in her trademark white and red-dotted shirt and matching shorts. She's standing in the right-backmost corner, facing the wall. To her right there's a black trash can on the floor with her head in it, looking at me. I approach her and say her name, then wake. Important colors - black, white, and red.

Dream 1 - F and I go to an after-hours college professor's dinner. She's rumored to be a murderer or seductress; this is connected to fragments 1 and 3, maybe she's what we were fearing? Here I see several of my high school friends, and we jab at each other for not staying in touch. The woman enters the room and we are all on guard. I can't remember if she killed anyone. Maybe we played a board game or discussed a book. The room was distinct, a deep red.

Note - all of my dreams were extremely emotional and marked by color.

Sep 27 2018

[F] Odonis - method (pencil), water?, visitation, name, shallow handshake/deep hug. Daylight, Mediterranean island southern coast (diff locations, and pencil happens indoors)

[D] Howl's Moving Castle w F, she's my boss somehow, we have something else we're focusing on but attn keeps returning to white square/rectangular building, after a couple of times looking at it realize the orangish cone/airwick shaped chimneyes lining the top in layers are telescoping and undulating, this is significant. Daylight, see it across open field

[F] Joke dream about kid warming up glass bowl of water and "ball of condos", parents are watching, amused, and crack jokes, kid embarassed, shift to pokemon evolution chart (one looks like a mon one is a regular object) (orange is the catalyst)

Sep 25 2018

[D] In house with D and F's Grandma's dog (GD). GD is running around in the back yard and living room with a carrot, balanced precariously on a fence or string or hammock. D is avoiding her. GD is simultaneously a dog and a full-grown savage (think raised by wolves) naked man with long black matted hair. We (F and I?) have a conversation about taking a picture of him to share so he can be returned to his proper owner (this makes my dream self ponder what should fall under the responsibility of pet adopters).

[F] Long house, dark outside, I'm putting something up on my walls. Papers, plans, something? There's discussion/controversy over it.

[D] I'm with rory from gilmore girls, I'm her mom (or the other way around)? We're looking at boarding schools, transition to scene with all blond girls changing, one blond girl turns around and looks at us with a scowl, distinct image of this. Maybe I had changed back into a guy. I think rory's mom was now separate from me as an entity. With F now in a room full of monogrammed purses, like a giant walk in closet. I find several wthat are close to her initials or almost have all of them, there were a few humorous ones I found myself starting to question. If I had stayed in the dream longer I would have become lucid, at this point my awareness was spiking.



I believe I had 2 or 3 more but I can't find any trace of them in my memory palace. Will visit it during the day, and I think I'll sweep it out and start over clean with today's dreams. I think each time I wake up, I need to somehow activate my memory with an exercise so that placing my dreams in the memory palace will be more effective.

Sep 23 2018

Four nights lucid in a row! PB!

[D] FA where I'm in bed, feeling my breath intensely. I can see two spheres of breath rotating and flowing throughout themselves, as if each of them is tearing itself inside out. The spheres are located a few inches in front of my face and are about 5 inches in diameter each. They're arranged one atop the other forming a sort of figure 8. I shift to seeing this in third person from the left side. Maybe they're feeding into each other? But I see and feel their movement aligned with my even, deep breaths.

[?] Wrote something in my DJ but can only vaguely make out the words "tonight", "Jesus", and "fool". Awoke 5:30am.

[L] In 9. The dream starts in my bedroom. My bunk is high, almost shoulder level (like one of my old dorm rooms). There are some assorted items laid out on the bed. It's dark outside. I'm trying to find something. The dream shifts to the front yard briefly, then to the kitchen. I need to make F a BLT without lettuce or tomato, on a long sourdough slice. For some reason I'm trying to find a saucepan (maybe to cook the bacon?) but the only one I can find is submerged in water in a white bowl next to the sink. The pan has a thin coating of spaghetti sauce on it. Around this point I become lucid, or rather reach the threshold of awareness, but decide not to do anything about it and to observe instead. I don't consciously control anything, from dream body to dream logic. I put down the slices of toast in the toaster, and they seem too long but somehow change dimensions to fit. At first the slices are vertical as expected, but after looking away and back, they are arranged horizontally at the bottom of the toaster. I'm talking to F this whole time. Finally I tell her "I'm lucid". She doesn't really react. I decide to do something improvised, a coordinated reality check. I hold out my palm and either through speech/nonverbal command or through expectation, I have her stick her finger through my palm. It worked! However now I couldn't really see her, and could see through her. She was transparent and I could clearly read some text behind her that took the form of her body. The dream shifted quickly and I was outside the kitchen looking in, and the lights were off. I said aloud "lights on!" and some dim lights came on but not all. The dream started to fade. I remembered to do math but lost the dream before I could. When I awoke I tried to DEILD, however I could only see the emerging scene if I strained my eyes to the bottom-right corner; there were maybe 5 or 6 scenes that emerged. When I opened my eyes it was around 6:40.

[F] I find myself outside a sliding glass door with a family inside. They let me in, they're part of a resistance and they're hiding me from someone; before this I was in a ditch. This was in-depth but unfortunately my pen ran out of ink.

[D] I was in a church library. There were bookcases that slid apart, and I was shoved inside. Inside it was dark and there were others. We could see through the cracks of light left by the books. After several implied weeks of pleading my case that we weren't able to read the books in the dark, those imprisoning us finally gave us some better quarters. It was some sort of speakeasy establishment, and our quality of life went up (we had alcohol and other entertainment) but now some of the black prisoners were slaves/barmaids.

Sep 24 2018

I had at least four dreams but can only remember two. I'm trying to utilize a memory palace for dream recall when I don't have a physical DJ next to my bed, but it's not always working (although it does help a bit).

[D] I'm in the backyard of 9, in full knight's armor. I'm carrying a metal jug of gasoline or urine. It's daytime outside and I'm splashing this mystery liquid all over the lawn; I get some on my neighbor's fence.

[D] After a longish dream, I find myself sleeping 9's garage. There are several pillows, and one of them is fancy but makes no sense (day residue from a stupid sweater one of the Property Brothers was wearing). It's made by George (the Walmart brand). It was very visually vivid (and mentally/perceptually clear) at this point, and I think if I didn't get involved with the dream drama I could've easily become lucid. I was in a sling chair but now I'm in some sort of giant furniture bucket looking at a late 90's desktop and monitor. My dad comes in and talks to me for a bit. I decide to go inside and sleep on the couch (worried about bugs). When I go to shut down my computer though, my C drive disappears! I think my hard drive somehow unmounted itself (in the dream I thought somehow it got disconnected/shaken loose). It's a weird mix of XP and Vista and 7 and when I open the start menu I can't search for anything in the search bar. I start freaking out about my computer, eventually I wake up.

Sep 22 2018

(from phone and in reverse order, will start doing proper entries again one day)

D - HMT - night, distinct steps - slavery/oppression situation - an email gets leaked and a kill order is sent (room, test?)

Lucid! 6.44, in crowded mall, surge of awareness, put hand on DCs like she was pregnant, become lucid! LOTS of DCs. most smiling and laughing directly at me, although i don't interpret it as humiliation, but something more like happiness/being proud of me). say aloud, "subconscious, make all of my dreams automatically lucid", start losing the lucid and remember to math but accidentaly count instead, by the time i add it's too late, awake (stiff bed)

F - before - woman in closet tied up w phone alarm going off, someone almost finds but doesn't, she will die in there

D - long magenta house, yelling hardcore at mom, i want to leave. shame, guilt, anger. dad involved (their fight), oven/meal

F - megaphone/board game, F screaming, title of game - screaming (at police officers?)

F - school before

Sep 19 2018

[D] A new member of a BBS/forum commits suicide and posts graphic pictures, leaving clues behind. Some users of the BBS call it a hoax, others accept that it's real but are still indifferent. His name is something like OPMQLN (six letters, unsure about the first two only).
[F] Walking down a city street at night. There's an interstate hi-rise above us (I'm walking with one to five other people). It's dark but there's a sort of faded golden glowing property around everything. There was either snow or rain on the ground, and in the sky, but not touching us. Maybe I was with two people and we passed six people? Overall a feeling of good cheer.
[D] I'm in a room similar to a cabin I once stayed at with F. It has a queen bed and is connected to a long living room which leads to a kitchen. I'm working (at my old restaurant possibly) and my (fictional restaurant) coworker drops a glass of spaghetti. The glass had the noodles, meat, and sauce combined already. When the jar shatters there's a ballistics-like scene left over. It reminds me of the strings Dexter puts up for blood spatter analysis. My coworker needs to clean it up and the vibe is that I should help but I refuse because he made the mess. A speck of sauce made it all the way into the first room, and I wipe it off with my finger. I'm bringing two hardcover books (one is light blue) to place on a bookshelf in the original room.
[D] A long, three-stage epic about an apocalypse. The first is live-action and sort of reminds me of Princess Mononoke, it takes place in a dark forest and tells the story of the mother and child; at parts the visuals are clay stop-motion. The second part has visuals similar to Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines (very specific to how the walk cycle animations look in this game, and the general quality). The mother and child are at the ranch home, but on this rainy night an evil woman creature steals the prize horse. The father mounts an evil beast and chases after her. He's weilding a black buster sword. From a distance, she casts some sort charm/weaken/poison spell on him and he (me) starts seeing bats with different visual effects (invert colors, seeing auras, blur, etc.). He dies. The child grows up a bit and one night rides out to the edge of the field, and she reaches a resort hotel where she speaks over a fence to a woman near the swimming pool. In the third part, the child is grown, and the town around her is separated into different Animal-Crossing-like houses. They each represent someone in the town who's died (one of them representing her father) and they look like russian dolls. Then they all simultaneously turn around and just look like houses (they're lined up in a grid). Their brick tiles/shingles on the right side of each house shift slowly up in a symbolic gesture.
[F] I'm in my old church on the altar.
[D] I'm a youngish man with a wife and kid(s), I've just managed to stop the nuclear apocalypse somehow. There were three huge glowing green worms/dragons/snakes (in some scenes they remind me of Mass-produced Evas), and now they're banished or blacked out from our world. Scene transition to me shooting a rocket launcher, but it just puffs. Scene transition to an overview of the land in black, and the three green snakes circling around it, but being unable to enter (there is a circle that they can go behind and be blacked out, but they can't affect anything (I think in-dream -- maybe they can within the blackout circle). Scene shift to a sliding glass window and I see my daughter outside. I almost get lucid and have the opportunity to, but for some reason don't. I'm really drawn in by my (fictional) daughter and rush outside to pick her up. It's a really heartwarming moment. Scene shifts and it's a third person view and my fictional family and I get into a bus. I'm narrating like it's the end of movie and I just did something badass. I remember the line "I make $50,000." We head out of the driveway and are imediately crashed into by a firetruck. My family is fine but I'm injured, the fire department (and chief) are very resentful at me for some reason. Maybe in the way that I saved the world I somehow stepped on their toes. They rummage through our stuff in the bus.
[D] I'm going through a house which feels more like a gift shop. In the entrance there are some people talking, the first time through they feel off but the second time I realize they're platic with speakers and they say the same bit each time. There are glass display cases with objects inside, possibly this is a museum for one of the apocalypses in my former dreams. I pass through a (possibly beaded) doorway on the right if you're coming in (there's a counter or column or something in the middle of the room that you have to walk around). The black guy from Fear the Walking Dead (don't his name as I'm only passively watching this show while F watches it) is leaning at a bar counter and I pass him. Off to the right is a door which I don't think twice about the first time through. The second time through, I go in and there's something secret and important there, like it's an exit into another place (possibly the cabin in my early dream?). There's a valuable item in a chest which I see, can't remember what it was now.

Sep 17 2018

I color-coded again, but somehow still went out of order. Why is the order of ROY G BIV so hard for my just-awoken mind to remember?

[F1] Red - I was in an open wooded area with about 6 others (family/friends), and we were being threatened. Possibly at gunpoint? The dream was long, vivid, and dramatic, but I don't remember much now.
[D1] Yellow - I had a new boss, who looked like a soccer mom/high-powered woman from an episode of Undercover Boss I recently saw. She had serious botox face and bad red lipstick. We became close and trusted each other with secrets. In the office (dark interior, fading afternoon sun coming through huge windows, on a stairwell near a door to an auditorium) I see she's looking at her phone with a night-vision video playing, I understand it to be about my current manager (Y). Y is in the wrong. I ask for details but new boss can't share them. Next we're in a minivan riding down my old street. It's dark, and we drive up to my childhood home, but my dad has left a ~10x5 foot flatscreen TV on a box in the middle of the driveway.
[D2] Orange - I'm in my childhood home with my new boss and family/friends for a barbeque/get-together. It's morning or overcast afternoon, and it has just rained/is about to rain again. I talk with my boss & family for a while and then I understand that my grandpa is coming in (he was dropped off in the backyard?). I go to help him in. I pass a bouncy castle in the back-left corner of the yard where a tree is with kids inside. It's raining and I'm wondering if they'll be okay in there. I hop around, dodging deep muddy ruts and footprints in the yard. Finally I get to my grandpa and help him inside, and I notice he didn't bring any drinks (he always brings soft drinks to social gatherings). When we get to the patio, I look in an oversized ice chest and there aren't any drinks there either. Suddenly the rain intensifies and I warn my dad because the grill is flaming and isn't under the patio.
[F2] Green - This is a strange sequence of events and I'm not sure which came first. In Scene A, I'm downstairs in my WL living room which is brightly lit for a while with others, then the scene transitions and I'm in bed with the side-table lamp on, and there are three servants in the bed next to me. I clap our WL copper cooking tongs together and the servants take a strange formation. In Scene B, I'm in bed in the dark, and I have a close memory of being downstairs, so I focus on the difference between the location of my body in bed (which I can barely feel) and the location of my body downstairs in memory. I try to WILD and almost succeed, unsure if I did. There are three possibilities and I can't remember which is the actual case.
Scenario 1: Scene A came before Scene B, and I was trying to DEILD and failed.
Scenario 2: Scene B came before Scene A, and I successfully WILDed.
Scenario 3: Scene B was an FA, because its memory has a dream-like quality.

In any case these were pretty vivid. I just wish I got more sleep

Sep 16 2018

Pre-WBTB:
[D1] I'm in a blue version of my childhood living room with F. She brings me a plastic rectangular package of writing utensils, and I tear it open and start looking at the different items (big fat sharpie, pencils, pens, an eyebrow brush). She looks mad at me for some reason. While I try to figure it out I fold a piece of paper in half along the middle. It's regular printer paper with one side watercolored blue, but not warped or anything. I keep prodding her as to why she's mad at me and she gives me the silent treatment, so I try to put back together the plastic box, but I can't fit all of the writing utensils back in. She's drawing a diagram of an isometric house, and I find out that she has a laminated piece of paper with different house diagrams on it that she wanted me to draw with her. It's blue and I think it might be the same one I folded, just machine-printed and laminated now. She angrily marks into the laminated paper with a pencil, but it barely shows up. I look at some of the different patterns, and while they look like they should be evenly isometric or orthographic, they're significantly skewed in multiple places. This makes me more aware of the dream state.
[L1] The scene shifts and I'm on the other side of the room, which is now incandescent. F and I are now in chairs by the fireplace, and the room is decorated for Christmas. I ask her "Are you still mad at me from the last dream?" Asking this question either triggers or strengthens my lucidity. She replies no but is still a little standoffish. I start literally pulling her leg, lengthening and transforming it willfully to about six or seven feet long, and bendy. Suddenly she switches places with me, and I'm now on the floor near the piano. I nonverbally command "Show me a clear view of F's face" and the control of my vision is taken over. It zooms and pans mechanically over to her. My vision is clearer now, but I can sort of see black bars at the top and bottom of my vision. She looks stoic or angry, but is facing directly towards me (her face is a little different than IWL). I'm pretty impressed by the effectiveness of the "show me" command, so I try again: "Show me the most beautiful thing I can imagine". The camera pans over to the picture frames against the piano wall and I think "Oh no, not this Freudian shit". Then the cameras react to me and point towards the ceiling, at a mobile that's very Christmasy, with a twisted wreath and a stuffed simplistic angel in the middle.
[D2] I'm in bed with F in an unfamiliar, dark blue place. She's trying to paste some text (a pop-up overlaid my vision). So I edit out the "http:/" and some other stuff and put into google (again via overlay) and I realize that it's the name of a reddit user? I say "oh I recognize this" but then I think maybe she'll be mad if she knows I know(?). After this she looks at me with a serious face and tells me that she's going to donate blood to A.L. (can't remember full name). When she says this, in the dream I remember an earlier NL (pre-pre-WBTB) but I don't write it down upon awakening. (4:50am)
[WBTB]
[L2.1] I'm NL in an open field, the sky is a faded blue and the earth all around me is dead and cracking. I think there's a treeline a couple of miles off in front of me and farther off to my far right. I see a huge explosion in the sky in front of me, it's bright blue in tint but not too intense to look at. I look off to the far right and see more of these, which are already shaping into crosses. The crosses are of varying sizes. I look back in front of me and the explosion has formed into a single, giant cross, with a couple of circles behind it. I realize I'm dreaming and immediately I think "I need to teleport to the bathhouse!". Because of this, my mind is preoccupied while I'm looking at my hands trying to stabilize the dream. The ground looks very clear, the detail is amazing on the cracks. But the dream feels paper-thin, and I start spinning prematurely thinking "bathhouse", and I wake up.
[L2.2] I'm in bed with F and almost immediately become lucid. Details ommitted but I tried to exert nonverbal dream control over her, and it almost worked, but the idea/expectation of her in my mind is too strong-willed and resisted me.
[L2.3] I'm a woman in a combination campsite/hotel, and again I'm almost immediately lucid. I'm situated all the way at the end of the row of rooms, and I see an older foreign-looking man with a crumpled brown leaf on his nose. He sort of reminds me of Eggman in retrospect, but friendlier in a way. I approach him because I either need something or was just looking for a DC. He's sort of ignoring me and my passage to him is blocked by a wall, so I look away and imagine a small gate. It appears and I go through. Scene shift and we're in his kitchen, he's reaching for the honey or sugar for some tea and I reach for it too. For some reason this is a grave offense, and I feel I should leave, but he forgives me. Scene shift and I'm in a gift shop, and there is a tribal african woman with body paint. Scene shift and I'm outside with the old man, and I pass by a tree with small blue scorpion creatures on its leaves. I then see down the road, a huge version of the scorpion creatures coming towards us and the cabins! I start running, but can't find my room (the layout is different now, with individual cabins). There's a man behind me so I let him pass and follow him to a small bunker. We drop in, and I feel unwelcome. One of the men has a strange-looking gun, and I make some military comment which he doesn't take kindly to. I'm still lucid so I actually offer to become another DC lol. The whole scene reminded me of FMJ for some reason. There's a fridge in the back of the bunker behind a sort of divide/cage. I'm handed some things to put in the fridge; one of them looks like ice cubes, and one of them looks like cheese or butter. I keep putting them in the wrong one, and the guys will just tell me "Fridge. Fridge. Freezer. Freezer". I keep insisting that the ice cubes need to go in the freezer but finally I look back down and they're diced carrots.
[L2.n] Within this dream chain I had another one in my apartment, and then an uncaught FA where I was DJing in bed.
[WBTB2]I woke again and had another lucid chain of (I believe) 3 different ones, but I couldn't find a pen so I didn't write them down, and got comfortable and forgot all about them!
[F1] Extremely long NL. It was cinematic, and was a sort of mix between Wreck it Ralph and a royal wedding, plus maybe Treasure Planet? It was a dark city adventure where we had to save the city from an evil corporation, some sort of power plant that you can see from anywhere which has a huge orange skullface on its building. I vividly remember the end, but the beginning and middle are fuzzy with a few distinct impressions. I think it's possible that the WiR dream and the RW dream were separate at first, but merged towards the end. Towards the end, we (the posse) are turning the corner on a cyberpunky road where all of the lights have gone out (we've shut down a few power plants already). But now as we round the corner we can see the big orange skull and we're ready for business. We drive up on the dark interstate hi-rise-ish road and approach a crowd of shadow people with yellow eyes. I throw a "shovel knight" at them, which is a rolling ball that slashes the people and turns the shadow people into normal people. The street/city setup reminds me a bit of early Duke Nukem. We round the corner and see a ship, which we untie and board. We end up walking into a sidedoor to the wedding.

Spoiler for unexpected romance:

I've been competing with this guy who looks like John from Sherlock, who is imposing, in the RW dream the whole time. We are relatively young, and there are some young girls that we are supposed to walk down the aisle during the wedding. However I (the persona I'm assuming in the dream) has feelings that have been developing for the whole dream, for the one that Sherlock John is supposed to walk down the aisle. Someone appears at the white door, and I open it, and there she is, in a beautiful white and gold dress; she looks surprised that I opened the door, I'm also in a white tux/commander's outfit with gold trim. She has black hair and pale skin, and a very straight face, which looks sheepish, somewhat sickly, but truly beautiful in a way I can't describe. I kiss her gently with closed lips. She's shocked but when I offer my hand she takes it. She's holding a paper and I'm holding a sketchbook (maybe I'm the wedding sketch artist? Who knows) and I take her paper and put it with mine. We hold hands and walk, having our pictures taken (turns weirdly digital for a second). Then I'm dancing with her and she's embarassed, like a deer in headlights, so I hold her.

Totally unexpected but interesting and enjoyable dream; can't figure out what kind of day-residue or thoughts led to this.



*Note: Counting L2.* as one dream together as they were a mostly uninterrupted chain.
**Note: I think I WILDed (or at least DEILDed) for some of the entries in L2; I distinctly remember that feeling of "crossing over" and how it sort of rushes through you and throws you off-balance. Very cool.

Sep 15 2018

First a summary of the pre-WBTB NLs:
It's morning on a sunny hilltop, just outside the twon, blue skies. (fragment)
I'm in a version of my childhood home which is an apartment or hotel, 4ish stories up. I'm with my fiancee.

Spoiler for lewdness:

Across the open space in another room I see three girls in lingerie getting down and dirty. I have an understanding that the intimacy is not genuine and is for show. I point them out to my fiancee and we watch.

The lighting/mood was incandescent (I seem to have incandescent dreams and fluorescent ones, and there's a clear distinction of feeling between the two). There was another longer segment before this. (dream)
I'm talking to Adam and Tom (two random DCs). It's a public place, maybe a grocery store in a small town or a town hall (this is a reach) and they're arguing about the fidelity of Adam's wife, who used to be Tom's wife. (fragment)
I'm watching Jack Nicholson, Pheobe from Friends, and some other celebrities corroborate their story in a fluorescent courtroom. (fragment)
FA where I'm writing detailed notes in my DJ, even drawing pictures (I'm an amazing artist in dreams). Very convincing and thorough. (dream)
Pen went out and I didn't write hard enough to leave marks, so I lost some. But one mentions noises, my fiancee, and my dog. It makes me think it was another intruder FA or variation of it (my dog barked a lot last night so I was afraid of having one), but I always remember those, so it wasn't that.

Wake 5am. Fiancee (I'll call her F from now on) has work at 5:30 so I don't try to fall back asleep and just half-meditate while reflecting on dreams. Get up with her and walk my dog (calling him D from now on) and look at the stars, getting a strong feeling that I'll become lucid. I end up going back to bed at 6:30 or 6:40, I wear a sleep mask because there's some light entering into the room now. D's being loud and shaking the bed with his scratching so I threaten to kick him out. I end up trying something strange, I put two of the pillows over the sides of my face and my ears to block out noise, and I sort of side-hug them like the ten commandments.

As I'm falling asleep, I have the tranpsarent eyelids effect a couple of times. The first time, I can see D, and I try to latch on to the visuals as a dream, but they pop out of existance. I have this with a few other visuals: a long stalk of grass or leaves, and a pillow or blanket with a tag and words I could clearly read ("english", "c.o.t.r."). A couple of times I feel like I'm going to WILD. I fall asleep and fully wake at 7:24am.

This time I turn on my side but still use the pillow similar to how I did before. I go back to sleep. I wake up around 8:30, although I'm barely awake; I use this time to try and WILD as my body's still in REM atonia. I finally can fully focus on an image/scene, and at some point everything blacks out and I "pop" into the scene! It full materializes around me! I have awareness of my waking body and the fact that I was awake less than a second ago. I was surprised at the blackout before it happened though, I always assumed (and when I've had DEILDs I've experienced) that you go directly from waking to the dream with no visual discontinuity. Anyway, I'm in a tan carpeted room with white walls and a staircase. The stairs are the same as in my WL apartment, tannish carpet and white rails; however the room they open up into is bigger. I'm at the bottom of the staircase sitting on one of the stairs, looking through the rails. I am sort of a point of perception rather than a body; I try to spin but can't use my body to do it, so I think "bathhouse" and will myself to spin. It works! My perception point starts spinning, but I don't go anywhere or transition to another scene, the visuals just intensify. I look closely at the stairs and the room around me, the light coming in from the kitchen window, the layout of furniture in the living room. Suddenly I wake up. (Lucid)

After this, I decided to keep trying to WILD. I kept on the edge of sleep and let myself fall into visuals another time! This time, I went directly into the dream scene with no blackout (it felt more like a DEILD). I find myself in a living room type area, near a sliding glass door. I put my finger through my thumb to stabilize it works with a little resistance. I pick up a small box or something similar and throw it through the glass, which doesn't loudly shatter but sort of just breaks and disappears. I go through the opening and it's a tight fit because the balcony railing is right against where the sliding glass door was, and it's high. I climb up and get my torso over it, then I jump from the balcony to a tree (the trunk looks like a palm but it's twisted). As I jump down onto it, I experience some sort of anti-gravity or limited gravity, which is cool. I land on the tree and grasp the trunk. At first it had branches, but when I look around and notice they're in my way, they disappear and it's all trunk. The trunk is kind of twisted. I decide to thoroughly experience the texture of the tree, so I rub my hands over it, bite it, lick it (it tasted sort of sweet with a bitter aftertaste and rough texture). Some seriously weird stuff omitted.

This dream starts a chain of DEILDs and DILDs that last a while*. In the first, I'm in bed with F. I look at my hands and become lucid. After a bit I get up and ask her to come with me but she's gone. I go to the dark hallway and turn into a bathroom with the light on (sort of reminded me of my best friend from childhood's bathroom). I feel around in the cabinet expecting a few things and although I hit a wall, I say "Oh right, wasn't there a secret compartment there?" and that part of the cabinet pivots away and I find the object I was looking for! Was pretty cool, I did this with some drawers too. I read some vivid words that I don't remember (some tags on towels, labels on some circular plastic packaging). I believe I walked down the hallway too but then it ended.

Again I found myself in a dark room, fingerpalmed, walked over to a table and grabbed a box, then threw it through a sliding glass door. The glass didn't break, so I walked up to it and punched it. I walk outside and it's night in a cyberpunkish or maybe Coruscant-like city. As I walk out onto a large circular balcony, I see that to my right there are three guys leaving theirs as well. I think to myself "I should lock up because they'll break into my apartment", but then I remember that a) it's a dream, and b) I punched through the sliding glass door. I realize that one of the guys is B, a coworker. The two guys with B are wearing old-time diving masks and carrying spears. He's wearing some sort of Rita Repulsa outfit with the big shoulders, but mostly black. I end up with a large stick (a branch from the tree before?) with a thin metal spearhead sticking out the top of it. Then another DILD which again I'll omit.

Woke again, didn't record time but I think around 9:30 or 9:45. Went back to bed and had an FA where my grandpa came up the stairs into my room and handed me something he said was a CD (I was sleeping naked so he didn't want to intrude). The package wasn't a CD though, it was a tight grouping of multicolored beads with a small gamecube-sized disk deep inside of it that I couldn't get to. (fragment) Had a lot of other NLs and I think a few more LDs during the dream chain, but it's really hard to read my writing...I'll edit my post sometime when I have time to decipher them.



*For the September Competition (and my LD Count) I'll count this dream chain as one lucid since they were all basically back-to-back, and then count the first one as its own (since there was a period of longer wake in between them), so two total.

Sep 14 2018

On couch - cousin & wife are facing away from TV while fiancee & I are facing towards it. I wanted them to flip around like we were but they were going to sleep or something (she had some kind of problem). Some discussion between my fiancee and I about how flat the layers of the 36-layer cake (cookies and cream, but it had a special name like "seminole" - not that but close) had gotten (I tasted one of the thin layers, it was good). This layer cake desert was from a previous dream fragment. In this dream I'm trying to accomplish something and it becomes a big deal. C&W are stretching out on couch in front of us w/ our dog and their dog, W is trying to take pictures of ours but they're coming out blurry. Posts on facebook with a picture that missed him, people posted sympathetic comments below about how hard it is to take a picture of a dog these days and she liked the comments and posted a better gif that captured him yawning.

Walking through town at night - look through window and see lights inside, people. Go in, brightly lit, fancy upper class dinner party. There are white tablecloths and food trays and servers. One of us says "These are not our people". Lots of middle-aged women in bright, colorful, but elagant dresses (all one color, some blue, yellow, maybe one peach). Vivid dream, walked through main room and some hallways.

Vivid and long dream about my fiancee and I (we were at this point in the dream teens who didn't know each other). We were attending some kind of religious boarding school. We were assigned to make love to each other in a small room with a glass door (reminded me of group study rooms at the campus library). I think we got to pick, so as lots of students were walking down the hallway, we reached out to each other and held hands and picked each other as partners. After that we entered the glass room. I'll spare the details here. The dream has several smaller scenes spliced together to make it feel like years passed; we grow up together (in the dream we were allowed to find other partners instead but we both stuck with each other). There's a third friend or one of our siblings, a midget with an adult face who is someohw our age. My fiancee and I are in a side hallway by a door or a water fountain, and we look up as a crowd of students and faculty in sort of acolyte robes with red chef hats are passing through, some of them crying. The midget brother I described breaks off from them and comes over to tell us the news; I assume someone has died and say "who is it?" and he says something snobbish.

It's years later in a separate dream from the previous dream and I'm watching in third person now. My fiancee is still with "me", but the version of me I'm looking at doesn't resemble me at all (kind of look like a pudgy Elvis impersonator). I'm under a bridge, trying out my new unicycle/stilt that has a "Cuddler" attached to the top where I am -- a Cuddler is one of those chairs that's a cross between a recliner and a loveseat, big enough for two people. Anyway I think the chair is white or black. "I" am standing on the chair's seat cuhion, rocking it back and forth to increase the height of the stilt/unicycle. If I rock back and forth in the opposite direction it will go back down. Fiancee is sitting on the curb watching irritatedly, we both have to go somewhere and I'm holding us up (I say something like "go without me"). The dream self is clearly more focused on reaching the top of the bridge before coming back down. He seems like a bit of a deadbeat (is wearing all white and has a pompadour). I think he's a struggling performer.

Sep 12 2018

I woke up and color-coded my dreams in a weird order (Red, then Blue, then Green instead of RGB or ROY G BIV). In my first NL, I'm in a strange competition where the teams of two have to come up with a piece of art and a story (but it can be derivative?). My parents and some older relatives (aunts, uncles) are also playing. I'm ambitious and want to try something we've never read before and reinterpret it and create something original from it within the timeframe (we have 1 day, or maybe 1 night, to complete it). Everyone else is cheating and making really simple art, which I'm frustrated at because I'm trying to create something good. This is all taking place in a long room with tables and chairs/stools set up, with large windows that have whitish light coming in. The entire room has a blue, overcast tint to it (it's been rainy lately, I think lighting in dreams could be an important dreamsign).

The scene transitions and I'm in a brighter (incandescant) hallway looking at posters and diagrams. There are displays with black and white etchings or line drawings or diagrams of a man who reminds me of Nietzche in pugilist attire. The display (or a DC) says "engineers have been fascinated with the human body for hundresds (or thousands) of years". I get through the hallway and reach a balcony opening up on a room below (sort of like an operating theater but no separation). There are people in the room below, maybe related to the competition.

I'm now in a blueish comic book store. It's dark outside and in front of me in line, there's a guy trying to buy a macbook. He doesn't pay (or should have in advance) and the cashier scolds him and shoos him out, giving him a warning. Me and the cashier go way back, and he mentions my competition. He suggests a pairing of characters from a fictional anime, and we debate eastern vs western art for a while. He shows me some pictures of the characters for reference. This all felt like one long connected dream.

I'm in my childhood home backyard with my fiancee, we're playing ping-pong with some drunk guy. It's me and her against him, he has a big beard. The ball is bright orange and there's a black trash bag on the table. I miss a couple of balls (I might be drunk too) and feel bad. Suddenly the table is thinner length-wise (maybe it collapsed?). We keep losing balls and there's something on the ground (an unfamiliar dog or other creature?).

Sep 13 2018

I went to bed at 12:30am. The first NL I remember a variation of my reocurring intruder dream, but instead of the intruder, I walk into the hallway from my bedroom and see that the bathroom light is on. Our apartment's maintenance man is finally fixing our sink, but it's the middle of the night. At some point I have a fragment about the server that I've been working on for work.

I wake around 3:50 and move my dog so he stops scratching his collar. Fall asleep and have some NLs. In the next one I remember, I'm in a play place. Think McDonald's with tubes and such, but along the floor only, much too small, and made out of those pop-up tents that resemble windshield sun shades with holes in them. I'm with my fiancee, we're crawling through on hands and knees through the holes. She's ahead of me and I have to expend a lot of effort to get through. There are cobwebs all around, and some small items are stuck in them. I remember vividly that there were a lot of bees/wasps on the ground. As we crawl towards the back, my fiancee finds a large blue crystal ring. We get in a fight about it. A female therapist appears, and she sides with my fiancee. I become irate.

I'm now walking into a room with some old ladies. It's a slightly dim, carpeted, beige room with the curtains drawn but light still filtering in around the edges. I'm naked, and the old ladies, who are sitting in chairs along one of the walls, are looking at me out of the corners of their eyes. I'm standing behind my fiancee (or another DC) after entering the room to try and hide. Eventually something clicks and I realize how ridiculous the situation is, and I look at my hands and become lucid! The old ladies' chair positions have moved, their backs are to the windows now and they're looking directly at me. Some old men (more men than there are ladies) are standing behind them looking upset, and looking away. I shake their hands and tell them I'm dreaming, but they're looking away from me, and each time I shake one of their hands it's like I intercepted them trying to shake someone else's hand. I walk around the room a bit (I didn't write this down immediately so I'm not sure what else I did here), and I remember thinking how lucky I was to be lucid so frequently these past weeks (waking life awareness!!). I then decided to try spinning again. This was my first time spinning from a standing position, and it was at least mostly successful (I had thought about doing this in the night while walking my dog). I wanted to visit my incubated dream world, so I said nonverbally "waterhouse" (I meant bathhouse). My intention was vague and unclear, so it took a while longer to form the dream scene and the dream must have latched on to some floating thoughts to form something coherent out of the word.

The scene materializes (like a squareish shape of white light approaching from the distance) and my full field of vision is focused on a video playing. The video is gaudy, bright, and annoying (my fiancee showed me the new iPhone commercial last night). There were words on the screen in a tacky font, sort of like lyrics although they weren't. There was no sound. Bright neon colors (I remember green and yellow) and images of a woman in a yellow or red dress standing on a stage as if she was singing were flashing on the screen. My field of vision slowly allowed me to disconnect from the screen and realize that it was a phone or tablet that I was holding. I was in a living room similar to my own, with a glass coffee table and a long couch behind me. Although the layout is similar to mine, the dimensions, lighting, and general decor remind me of the house of one of my dad's old clients, a rich Jew.

I look back at the phone again and the screen is dimmer now, and no matter what I do I can't get it to go bright again. I put the phone on the table and decide to do a reality check, so I put my first two fingers into the palm of my left hand. With the two hands stuck together, I decide to try and stick my fingers through the roof of my mouth as well, but I can't. I turn around and look at the couch. There's now a female body on the couch, although it seems like a mannequin. I try to put my fingers through her abdomen/solar plexus, but instead of entering in, the skin flakes off like peeling paint. I peel it like an onion and take off one layer up to the face. The face underneath is different. I take more and more layers off, and each time the face is slightly different. Some parts of the skin reminded me of plastic wrap that sort of warps and has indentations, or like the shrink wrap they use on college textbooks. I start thinking too much and wake up.

It's 5:30am, I color-code my dreams (again with the weird Red, Blue, Green order) and try to stay still because I feel that I'm still in REM and can easily DEILD. I see the white light and almost get into a couple of dreams, but my dog keeps scratching and moving around, other noises keep popping up and bringing me out of it, and I end up just lying there for a while. I try to get back to sleep and maybe I drifted off for a little bit but ultimately I woke up before my 6:40 alarm and DJ'd on my phone.

I'm starting to really believe and understand Sensei's article about catching "the feeling" and holding onto it, trusting yourself that you will LD tonight rather than techniquing yourself to death. Really proud of my frequency lately! But I'm ready for a full night of deep sleep. Work is killing me.

Sep 10 2018

I tried to remember my dreams by color coding them in order of ROY G BIV.
Red -- I memorized the letters MC, for both Minecraft and Main Character (don't remember why for this part). I vividly remember being on a sort of platformer stage made up of blocks. I was walking back and forth and talking to DCs, but walking a thin line either way as I did it. Finally I jumped too far and one of the blocks gave out. I almost fell but somehow "reset" myself. I remember there being cliffs behind me and some long grass or vines/ivy. The sky or "background" was orange.

Blue -- don't remember, but remember I tried to associate it with something.

Sep 9 2018

I was walking through a large paved road which felt like a walkway through a large park. It was a sunny morning or afternoon. The lawns on either side were lined with large oaks with twisting branches. There were passerby walking in either direction. Suddenly I became lucid and started running! I looked back and saw a DC. I turned around fully again, expecting to see a coworker from one of my college jobs*, and she was there! I was running backwards at this point to let her catch up, but for some reason couldn't stop or change directions, and instead had to run backwards, slower. When I reached her I made some conversation about the fact that I was dreaming, and she seemed thrilled. I took her hand and we started running together. We passed a few trucks (possibly ice cream trucks or food trucks) and signs, and I was able to read them clearly. I asked her whether she had ever flown before, and she responded that she hadn't, all she had ever done was float. I told her that that was a good start and we lifted off.

I can feel the wind on my face and body and we're still holding hands (platonically). We weren't doing superman poses or anything specifically to indicate that we were flying, just setting my intention on a direction and going there. It was a great sensation. The oaks stretched even farther up now, and I bobbed and weaved through the twisted outstretched branches. I had a few near misses but overall had pretty good control.

I decided to go higher than the trees and went skyward. At which point I could see in the top of my field of vision three or four wooden planks arranged like ceiling blade fans. I passed above the planks and at that point there were flat planes rushing past us. I looked down at my hands and while still holding my coworker's hands, I pushed my finger through my palm -- I felt some resistance at first but asserted "I'm dreaming" and was able to do it. Then I felt the dream stabilize a bit.

As I looked back up, I saw that it was approaching dusk with a sunset in front of us. Underneath was a large wooden building with multiple levels with wraparound balconies. It reminded me of the restaurant I worked at for a while. I approached it and landed on the roof (it may have just been me at this point). I saw a small shack/building on the roof. Upon further examination it looks similar to a dollhouse made of craft wood -- I can clearly see the seems and the semi-gloss finish on the wood. The dream fades quickly.

Note: I woke up from this dream at 6am on my left side.

Summary of other NLs:
I'm in a kitchen by a white door with glass panes near the head and the foot. The house reminds me of a classmate from my high school band's house. There were multiple locks that were complicated and kind of hard to turn. Once I turned them, my anonymous DC sidekick switched some small levers which had clear writing on them in a row. There is a silhouette outlined in the door and I think what lies behind it is a dark garage. I have a serious talk with my DC sidekick. We open the door and go through, and pass through the dark garage (felt ominous, there were other silent DCs there).

I'm in a garden/walkway with a girl. We look up and see bright flashing in the clouds above. It takes a triangluar shape and turns into a spaceship with clear writing on it (reminded me for some reason of the writing on a bus or van). We run over hill after hill and past trees to keep seeing it. Each time we get it back into our field of vision it's more detailed. Finally we see that there is a ledge on the back of it and there are giant women sitting there. They send down some smaller but still giant women who fire beams at us. We run in the opposite direction and become extremely cartoon-like in our actions. I fuse with her and our arms and chest start spinning; there are now two copies of me, one driving the process and one fused with her. We fire beams back at the giants chasing us as we run down a dirt path in the garden. This dream repeats twice or thrice featuring different versions (ages, genders, ethnicities, other factors changed) of both me and the girl. Very vivid and very surreal.

I'm at a store getting various items (I remember some onion bread buns in a bag that I got IWL from Walmart). I get some impulse items that I know my fiancee will be mad at me about. It's a pretty long dream as I go down the aisles. Finally I go down the clearance/general/jam aisle, where I find a stack of fresh papers. Underneath the papers I find some that I've drawn on (during my visit or my past several visits). I try to consolidate them as they're spaced out between blank pages. Someone passes me in the aisle and notices one full-color one I've done, I look up and say it's nothing, then look back down and it's even more polished and is the cover to a small booklet or magazine (maybe a doujin). I consolidate them all and tuck them into the bottom for safe keeping.

I'm in a large bathroom with long white counters and four or five sinks stretching out to the right and left, separated by double doors. I'm at the sink closest to the door on the right counter. The stalls are behind us. There are some middle-aged men holding bags and placing their miscellany on the counters, it looks like stuff you would get in those cap-balls from the 25 cent machines (where you turn the handle). Mixed in are brass gears and writing utensils.



*With my ability to summon DCs, it seems like I pretty much pick them at random; I haven't thought about these people in years but for some reason my lucid mind thinks "Gee, I would love to see X random acquanitance." I suspect that as I get better about remembering dream goals and incorporating my awareness of waking life, I'll be able to make more logical/planned decisions within my lucids.