Not getting what I ask for during LD's

[Callieu]

I've noticed that during my last several LD's, I've asked(even demanded) for specific experiences and DC's to appear, and I'm not getting what I ask for. I feel like I'm just in the LD stamping my feet like a little kid who is not getting what she wants. Why is this happening (or rather NOT happening) and does anybody have any ideas on how I could remedy this?? Thanks all! Callie

[Zoth]

From DV's Dream Control tutorial: Spoiler for Failing at Dream Control: Failing at Dream Control Every once in a while, Dream Control may fail or produce results that don't quite match your interest. This is not necessarily the result of a lack of skill. It is important to understand that even while lucid, the subconscious mind that is creating the dream can influence the outcome as well. Dream Control can certainly be improved with a continuous practice. This means that a dreamer who is accustomed to flying will start to do so without without much effort, even if once in a while he may find him/herself striking through the air at a different speed than intended. Still, why does Dream Control fail sometimes? One reason might be because you are not lucid enough. Picture this situation: if you know you are dreaming but still move out of the road to not get hit by a car, perhaps it's not odd at all that you fail when you try to go through a wall or a solid object. In another example, if the dream is dark and you react by trying to go outside searching for sun light, then it's no surprise that have trouble changing the weather or even conjuring a fire ball. That's why increasing lucidity is such an important step when it comes to interacting with the dream world: you must work to continuously shatter the notion that the dreaming reality obeys the same set of rules as the waking one. This is not an easy task, which is why Dream Control is not static, but instead tends to improve over time. However, you must also have experiences that allow you to make this realization. Do not over think it If you happen to fail at something such as lifting an object with telekinesis, the best approach is not worrying about it. Associating negative responses with a dream action only leads to stress whenever you try it again. So the door doesn't open? Use the window. The dream character doesn't show up? Grab a telephone and call her asking where she is. There's always a way around it. Some dreamers even prefer to leave it alone and try again in another lucid, which is a wise way of not wasting your entire dream on a single purpose. Another thing you want to be careful with is excuses—internal excuses like "maybe I just can't do this" or "I'm still a beginner"—making you feel bad that the problem lies in you. So whenever you fail at something, try to think along the lines of "It's okay, I'm just not focused enough this time" or "I'll just try again, otherwise I'll do something else". Basically, convince yourself that the failure has nothing to do with your skill, but some other factor that can be easily solved. Dream Control is an affirmation in all the uncertainty of an ever-changing reality. Don't wait for it to come to you, go ahead and grab it. Also, remember that there are several ways to provide dream control. Simply demanding the dream won't fulfill your every need. For example, whenever I want to meet someone I don't make them pop out of nowhere: trying behind a corner/door is much easier because it's easier to believe that he will show up. Remember, you can't choose what you believe, so if you're having troubles with dream control, just make the thing you want more believable to happen

[Callieu]

That's a great piece of advice; thank you! It's strange because sometimes I have the feeling like "REQUEST DENIED!"

[Sivason]

I think dream control is a learned skill just like drawing. I have never understood the line of thought where people yell commands such as "clarity now!' Using the metaphor of drawing, you start with just shading a circle to look round and so on, you certainly do not pick up the pencil the first time and think you will be able to draw a good flower simply because you focus real hard. Start small, do not jump to the end first.

[Callieu]

That's very wise advice; thank you! I think what is probably bothering me about it most is that I've always (since my earliest childhood lucid dream memories) been able to easily create within my lucid dreams, and I've easily been able to call dream characters, but lately my desires have been denied. Even to the point of, in a recent LD I wanted to see my father, but a dream charachter who was a stranger came forward and told me that wouldn't be happening and that seeing my father "wasn't the reason I've come", just strange to me and I wonder why I'm blocking myself!

[FryingMan]

There's a massive gap between "wanting" and "expecting/believing." You can't just "wish" for something, you need to basically make it part of the dream narrative (at least until you get better at it and can take shortcuts). Think of all those dreams (if you have such dreams) where you're walking down a dark street late at night and see a shadowy figure and think "Oh no I hope it's not a mugger!" and you're straining to see it more clearly and expecting something bad to happen, and voila, out jumps the mugger to attack you. Making up a pretend memory / performing a narrative direction change can really help make things move the way you want. An example from a recent LD: I saw a guy I thought may be threatening, and I decided to take charge and drive the dream plot by shouting an accusation at him ("What have you done with my girl, Gilda!?" ). Check sivason's DJ, he has tons of narrative redirection examples there....very educational! In fact, reading expert LDer's DJs is very informative (as well as very motivational and entertaining). I learned about the hand-behind-the-back summon from Dolphin's DJ (I think) and it's worked great for me.

[Callieu]

Oooh, those are fantastic suggestions! I will definitely start reading some dream journals TODAY! I use the dreamboard app; I wish there was a way to make that journal public here because recording each dream twice sounds tedious

[The Cusp]

Now I've got that Rolling Stones song stuck in my head... Getting specific with manifesting things in dreams works like the classic game of 20 questions, only instead of questions, you are using inference points, or things you can focus your attention on. In the game, the answer to each question narrows the possibly outcomes by a significant amount. Likewise, the things you focus your attention on have the same kind of probability narrowing effect. To summon a specific person, you need to hold their attributes in their mind, especially ones you can picture clearly. Maybe you can imagine hearing their laugh, the sound of their footsteps, the wheezing of their asthma, their nervous ticks and twitches. All of these things taken together narrow the possibilities closer and closer to your target. The above ^ can be done purely mentally, or you can do it visually with stuff that's already in the dream. If there are lots of DCs around, start looking for ones that kind of look like your target. As you begin spotting some that fit the bill, you should begin to see more and more of them that begin to look more and more like the person you're after. Or you could use objects and reframe them in the context of that person. If there is sand in your dream, pick some up and look at it while recalling that time you and your target were at the beach (for example). You'll begin to get closer and closer to your target much like the idea of 7 degrees of separation. Also, take advantage of blind spots when summoning. Looking behind a closed door works, looking behind anything does. It's a blind spot you're using, not the actual door, and there is always one right behind you if you can't find a door.

[Nfri]

Your brain knows logical causes and effects which determines your expectation in waking state. It works the same way in the dream. You need to give your brain a cause to see desired effect. For example this is dream, there is no gravity therefore I can fly. The good, but hard way at the start of a lucid dream is sit down and persuade yourself that you are god with unlimited powers. I usually reminds myself that everything in this world is me and my subconscious which is controllable by my will.

[Callieu]

I can't wait to put all of these FANTASTIC ideas and perspectives to practice. You guys are incredible and I thank you so much

[The Cusp]

If anyone saw last night's episode of the Flash, there was a scene where Doctor Wells was talking through how to phase through solids. That was a perfect example of using inference points for manifestation.

[kingofhypocrites]

When I attempt dream control and it doesn't work, i just try it again and I usually get what I want. I also agree that it seems to be easier to "expect" to find someone around a corner rather than summoning them out of thin air. I think it requires greater awareness to summon someone in thin air because this is not natural behavior in every day life. A lot of times I will vocalize my expectation... such as "I will find so and so when I walk around this corner..." or "I will be in such or such place." Other times I will imagine that by humming or doing some other action I will be able to bring about a desired result... It's all about expectation. I'm not sure why it doesn't work sometimes. People will say it's confidence or belief, but I think sometimes the subconscious mind just doesn't cooperate. I may have to retry 3 times to get what I want.. so i would just say don't get frustrated and just do it again whether the same way or a different way. Know that you "can" change the dream and "expect" that it will happen even if you failed before. Ever notice how dream characters will morph at inopportune times? I don't believe this is expectation at all, just like I don't believe that failed dream control is always lack of faith. Your belief does need to be solid though and I do think this is a factor, just not the only factor.