Nice. My 'dream guide' was, well here:

Brace yourself for the incoming stupid.
Quote Originally Posted by mikeac View Post
I remember telling myself to picture a white room, with my dream guide in it. I jumped, or rather crawled, into the large mirror above the bathroom sink. I was in a white room. I expected a plain white room, no doors, windows, or stairways, but I got a white room WITH doors, windows, and stairways. I looked at my dream guide, and almost laughed at his appearance. He was an old Chinese guy with a box of Pein-aid, which what I understand is a bandage with ointment for your penis. He handed me a paper and I took a quick look at it. I asked, "What's your name?" "Flynn." lol. "So, you are an actual person?' (I got that from the paper he handed me.) "Yes." "Not my subconscious, or an other-worldly entity?" "Yes." I decided to test if he was an actual person by forcing him to say something weird. I asked, "Could you just say something, random, could be anything you want?" He said, "Uh, sure." I focused on the box, trying to get him to read off it it, hopefully saying something like penis. He did indeed read off the box and said,"Uh, ballsack, penis, orgasm..." I said "Enough! You've done okay." I decided to humor the idiot instead of kicking his ass through the glass window behind him. "You can be my dream guide only temporarily. If you don't work out, you will leave." He nodded. I walked out the next door, to find myself in a spa. I lost lucidity at that point.
I never saw him again. Just another mindless DC.