Thread: The Importance of Honesty

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."
-Jesus Christ
Dead Sea Scrolls

One of the most difficult things you can do is get over your fear of what people think. We are all our own teachers. While others can provide signposts to guide us in the right way, it is us that must take what we have and change it, or strengthen it. A good therapist does not tell you what's wrong with you, they ask questions that lead you to discovering yourself.

One terrible flaw in our culture is that the appearance of intelligence has become more valuable than actual intelligence. People are afraid to humble themselves and learn, they are afraid to ask questions in school. We teach our children that there's no such thing as a dumb question while simultaneously conditioning everyone to avoid saying anything that would make them appear stupid. When we are asked questions, we cannot answer honestly, we must ridicule the person we are answering in the process.

The same behavior we attribute to the wise man is the behavior we punish our peers for displaying. The great philosopher, Katt Williams, once described haters as people that cannot respect the process or journey it requires to achieve greatness. We are all a society of haters. We take everything personally. We play a game, always protecting our ideal self or reputation, always fearful of revealing too much of our human side to others or to ourselves. But only by accepting the process and accepting our own inadequacies can we hope to transform them. Only by reminding ourselves not to take others personally and internalizing the learning experiences (always a student, never a master) can we become invulnerable or godlike.

I agree with this. It's something I've only been consciously realising and trying to rid myself of lately. At first, it was very, very difficult to admit when I had made a mistake or didn't know something obvious, especially when I knew that it would lower people's opinions of me. I still have trouble with it, but it has been getting easier.

I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that our society puts so much importance in intelligence. It's a good thing in itself, of course, but it causes the behavior you describe. People realise that it's important to others, so they feel they must appear to be intelligent and knowledgeable even when they aren't, and that leads to a lot of deception.

We should strive not to care about the impressions we give others of ourselves, because that will ultimately impede our progress.

Or perhaps focus our intention more on our actions rather than the reception of our actions. You ever notice how sometimes you do something or say something that's pretty damn clever, and you can perceive the way it raises your reputation among the present company, and your focus shifts to meeting their expectations of you rather than just being you?

It's like, we get so caught up on the ideal side of ourselves, we blind ourselves to the human side of things, where our mortal bodies and imperfect minds must bridge the gap toward functionality. It doesn't necessarily have to be a mistake, but not every action you can complete is going to appear godlike, sometimes it just doesn't look pretty. And it becomes important to remind ourselves we're not just gods, we're animals, too. It becomes important to shift focus on ourselves, shine our spotlight on our present action, and observe ourselves impartially, with complete self-love no matter what happens and no matter how it might come across to others. It's the only way to practice, the only way to get better.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

The great philosopher, Katt Williams, once described haters as people that cannot respect the process or journey it requires to achieve greatness.

I lol'd. But what you say is true.

One must also realise there is no harm or downfall in being less intelligent than someone else. And then they will not fear being less intelligent and in doing so actually become more intelligent because they're not worrying about the facade of intelligence the whole time.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Or perhaps focus our intention more on our actions rather than the reception of our actions. You ever notice how sometimes you do something or say something that's pretty damn clever, and you can perceive the way it raises your reputation among the present company, and your focus shifts to meeting their expectations of you rather than just being you?

Yes I've noticed this. I think I've probably done it a handful of times in my life, but I've given up on it now.
It's like you so something without thinking about that thing too much, and it is perfect. Can be as simple as the way one words a sentence, or laughs etc.
And then you realise people also took notice of this and think you some sort of unencumbered, alpha person. So then you try to replicate it, but simply because you are trying, it fails miserably and you can tell that everyone can tell it is forced and not genuine.

hate is a subjective term unique to an individuals understanding of reality.
if this is true, and i honestly see no way that it couldn't be, then any negative emotions brought up within you are entirely of your own design.

by design i mean this: you create a situation; you place emphasis on the particulars of the situation you have just created.

tl;dr: there is no spoon, stupid

I like this thread, I totally agree with it. One of my main aims throughout my life has been to immediately learn from my mistakes. If I do something that I then realise was the wrong thing to do, I will make as big an effort as I can to never repeat it.

No one's perfect, but I see that as a challenge rather than a limitation.

Most people are basically as intelligent as everyone else, it just depends on which area your brain is focused on. If you memorize the name of the top 5 American idol people for every year, that would put you on even setting as someone who memorized all the US presidents. The amount of information is roughly the same(idol people actually has like 5 or 6 extra names to memorize I think), but you don't really get credit for one compared to the other.

Usually we view education and intelligence as the learning of stuff that is practical, though the 'arts' are not entirely practical and are still associated with education.

What separates a 'smart' person from a 'stupid' one is usually the quality of information you know, your skill at learning new things, and reasoning ability . It is entirely possible to learn a lot of stuff that isn't true, but believe it is true. If you develop the ability to filter out the bad and keep the good your going to be a lot smarter. There is also only so many hours in a day, a person who is good at learning new things(and this is a skill not an innate ability, and one of the major things they teach in school) can process stuff more quickly and efficiently and so will learn more in a given time. Which will insure you know more and seem more educated. Then as you develop the ability to think critically about issues it will help you solve problems, which makes you seem more intelligent.

That said, if you take the 'smartest' person in the world, I bet you there are millions of 'average' people who know things that person does not. You can't know everything.

Originally Posted by Alric

Most people are basically as intelligent as everyone else, it just depends on which area your brain is focused on. If you memorize the name of the top 5 American idol people for every year, that would put you on even setting as someone who memorized all the US presidents. The amount of information is roughly the same(idol people actually has like 5 or 6 extra names to memorize I think), but you don't really get credit for one compared to the other.

Good point, thanks for sharing this. The definition if intelligence itself is sort of vague. Most people consider it to involve the ability to reason well, but quantity of knowledge (about worth things, as you say) is also often considered to be a part of it. I think I have the ability to reason well but not nearly enough knowledge, so I've been rather confused about whether I should consider myself intelligent or not. It is all only definition though, so it doesn't really matter.

Originally Posted by Alric

Most people are basically as intelligent as everyone else, it just depends on which area your brain is focused on....

That said, if you take the 'smartest' person in the world, I bet you there are millions of 'average' people who know things that person does not. You can't know everything.

I see a difference between the memorization of facts and understanding. As you said, anyone can memorize material they are exposed to. That is a function of the brain and is more or less innate in everyone.

Then there is the ability to synthesize such information into understanding. You can memorize all the names of the U.S presidents, along with all the major events and players in history without truly grasping the why behind any of it.

Memorization is just symbols. Dates. Names. Events. Facts. Knowing and understanding are beyond symbols - more than words in the mind. Facts may lead to knowing, but knowing goes beyond facts. To take credit for it and call yourself "intelligent" is silly, because knowing arises spontaneously. Thoughts self organize, facts fall into place and makes sense, connections are made between ideas to form a complete picture - but really none of this comes from your ego.

I heard a quote somewhere, went something like "If you can't explain what you know to your grandmother, you don't really know." When you understand something, you have infinite symbols you can use to explain it to others.

Double post.

The main problem we have is that we think one thing, say something else and then do something completely different. I really like one of Ken Keyes affirmations, 'I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feelings, since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from other people.'

Omnis I see that you have moved to Antarctica, hope you have a nice time there!

I am beginning an expedition north as we speak

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

I am beginning an expedition north as we speak

lulwut? Seeing as you do not know North from South, be careful you don't fall in the gigantic hole that the Russian scientists are digging!

Nananananananano, I'm starting from antartica and trekking north

You'll see.

But don't we live in a world of paradoxes? Few people walk the talk they talk, and talk the walk they walk.

We're a strange species.

You can't be expected to be perfect. All I am advocating is that one remain true to themselves, oriented upon honest action centered on themselves rather than purposeful reaction centered on others. Remember that even if someone cannot communicate with you without being pretentious or some other means of conveying their dominance, that's really about them and you don't have to prove anything.

I'm not talking about perfection, I'm talking about empty words, like wearing a "WWJD" bracelet and being a complete asshole to everyone, all the time. But then again I'm in a very cynical mood, and I'm sure that's reflected in my current view of people.

There's also a difference between relating your honest and humble position and swinging your convictions around with pride. While I advocate that you should not be afraid of your most honest position, there are more than enough opportunities in daily life to convey it without needing to reach for opportunities such as by decorating yourself or your car with your convictions or confronting random strangers that never asked for your advice.

Intelligence is far broader than knowledge and reasoning. I like Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, which says there are 9 (although I think 1 or 2 of them are a bit flimsy). Things like visual/spatial intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, intrapersonal intelligence and musical intelligence are completely overlooked when one simply defines intelligence in terms of the common 'academic' manner.

The definition of intelligence used by schools, employers, governments, etc. is also so culturally biased. An African tribesman might not have half the knowledge of maths, literature or science as we do - but how many of us could ever catch our dinner and cook it?

Multiple Intelligence theory is an interesting map but it's also severely limited and still asserts a tenuous definition of intelligence.

Intelligence is an inferior commodity to honesty. Real intelligence is not only impossible to qualify but remains more elusive the harder to try to appear like you have it. Honesty, on the other hand, promotes growth and stable, practical intelligence where one can properly assess their strengths and weaknesses

I agree it's still a limited definition, but I thought I'd share it to demonstrate the falseness of our society's current view of intelligence.

While what you're saying is true, about showing your true self rather than masking it with what you want people to see, on a practical level I don't think it'll catch on unfortunately. On a primal level it's our nature to make ourselves look better to others, to falsely raise our self-esteem to regulate our emotional stability and to present ourselves in a way that we might fit in to society. In an ideal world we'd all be ourselves and not worry about what others think, but humans are social beings, and I don't think anyone can truly say that they don't care even a little bit.

I agree that tact and politeness are still important social concepts. But one can be tact and polite without worrying or basing their entire behavior around their perceived affect on others. It is not our darkness that we fear, but our light.

And I do think this will catch on, I'm not speaking merely of whimsical fantasies, I'm speaking of evolutionary superiority. Acting earnestly, whether or not it looks pretty, accepting that we are always in transition, always practicing, refusing to shy away from behavior that we have not perfected, that may come off clumsy or amateur, this is the mark of an excellent human being and this is the wisdom that people who have succeeded in society preach to the rest of us.

It's good to see you have so much faith in mankind's destiny to change, but I'm a bit more cynical. Though I can't say I've given it much thought, I don't think the majority are going to change any time soon.

However, I would say our western society is becoming more and more tolerant (albeit rather slowly) of individuality and things outside the cultural norm. Technological advances, telecommunications being the first that comes to mind (leading to social networking and wider audiences for self-expression), allow people to find like-minded individuals and encourage free, and honest, speech.

Faith has nothing to do with. I am merely explaining two of the key components of success. Take Nothing Personally, and Always do your Best (no more and no less)

Best post I've seen in along time.
The folks I most respect admit they're fallible. don't have all the answers and are still learning... despite their wisdom.
I SO agree, we must share our truth, so others will know they're not alone, specially regarding intuitive & other senses.

Wisdom of the heart is far more important than intelligence, IMO.
Children often recognize truth that adults ignore.