Thread: Stop Making Sex Out To Be Bad/Dirty/Gross/Special/Important/Criminal/Unnacceptable/Unsociable

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Many 16 year olds aren't responsible enough to keep track of their periods or just don't understand the importance - that's the age of "it can't happen to me!". Who pays for the abortion? What if they don't believe in abortion?

This is where mandatory sex.ed classes in school, readily available conciliating and free contraception and pregnancy tests come into the picture. The chances of getting pregnant when observing the basic rules are so slim, as outline in Abra's post. And those who can't be bothered to observe these basic rules, do you really think they'd listen to a stupid law or their stupid parents (as I'm sure they'd put it)?

You might also want to have a look at this chart, and try to find the correlation between how liberal sexual values a country has, and how high teen pregnancy rates are.

Originally Posted by Abra

(And then we get into shitty parent hypotheticals, to which I respond in advance: then have mandatory counseling)

I agree, everyone should have mandatory parenting classes before being allowed to have children. That is what you meant, right?

Originally Posted by khh

I agree, everyone should have mandatory parenting classes before being allowed to have children. That is what you meant, right?

I just meant sex counseling. Like sex-ed, but more personal, and only for the teens who are sexually active. I come from 'bad parenting' for the most part, so any opinion I have on parental counseling will be biased. In my opinion, knowing the situation and regardless of who I became, I should've been aborted.

Originally Posted by Abra

In my opinion, knowing the situation and regardless of who I became, I should've been aborted.

I have exactly the same feeling. About me though, not you. So almost the same feeling. Maybe a "symmetric" feeling? I don't know.

Originally Posted by khh

This is where mandatory sex.ed classes in school, readily available conciliating and free contraception and pregnancy tests come into the picture. The chances of getting pregnant when observing the basic rules are so slim, as outline in Abra's post. And those who can't be bothered to observe these basic rules, do you really think they'd listen to a stupid law or their stupid parents (as I'm sure they'd put it)?

You might also want to have a look at this chart, and try to find the correlation between how liberal sexual values a country has, and how high teen pregnancy rates are.


I agree, everyone should have mandatory parenting classes before being allowed to have children. That is what you meant, right?

Mandatory parenting classes could indeed help but it's unlikely to assist much with teen pregnancy, particularly for parents who took the class and then forget all of the material in the 15 to 18 years that follow.


Another point; when it comes to getting pregnant the chances aren't as slim as you would think, even following basic guidelines and a test.

Thanks to inexperience and incomplete physical growth problems with condoms may arise, particularly for nervous couples or with boys who haven't fully developed in size/girth. Parents are unlikely to be helpful in determining the right size condom for their child or how to put it on. This education can be vitally important for both partners and even passing a test is no guarantee that everything learned will be put into practice when the actual deed is done.

I do support education and a test...but it's the whole attitude about sex and the actual feelings experienced by the individuals that can throw all the best intentions out the window.

A missed pill...a broken or poorly-fitting condom...the "oh-well" attitude...the nervous and excited feelings...all adds up to a situation where pregnancies will happen no matter how hard we try.

Personally, I think the class should be taken by the kids and their parents. Both need education on how to handle the emotions, the practicalities and what to do if someone becomes pregnant. Learning together could reduce some of the taboo, the pressure and the fear of the undesired and allow not only the teen couple but the families involved to come together and make choices that don't cause children to drop out of school or give up on a future.

Taking the class together would also allow the parents to connect with forgotten feelings from when they were teens and help create an environment where the teens and their parents understand each other.

I think this just takes Abra's point to the next level.

Even with smart teens who are better at making rational decisions than many adults, experience counts for a lot. Having guided discussions/classes for the teens and the parents would allow both parties to understand each other and not only prepare for the situation but handle the associated emotions involved without emotional trauma in the family.

The sex is inevitable; If the teens and parents know what to expect it will be easier to handle tough situations.

People keep mentioning missed pills, and I'm fucking retarded so I'm probably missing something, but if you forget to take it can't you just not have sex until you take the next one or take a couple when you're supposed to and be fine?
But then again the commercials always say to never start or stop birth control medication without talking to your doctor, so is there also a problem with missing one?

Missing one can be a problem.

The menstrual cycle is complicated and can throw in a few surprises even when not on the pill. Using the pill to regulate it means you need to not only take the pill daily but take it close to the same time every day to be fully effective.

Missing even one dose can throw things off for a good bit depending where you are on your cycle. It's easy to forget to take one.

To illustrate this try taking one thing every day at the same time for a year. It doesn't matter if it's M&Ms, Tic-Tacs, Lifesavers...just something small that doesn't require chewing. How you achieve this doesn't matter...just try to keep up with it and take it within two hours (not later) of a certain time each day. See how well you make it.

BTW, I'm not saying taking birth control outside of a two-hour window will render it useless...just an illustration for taking the pill and keeping up with it as prescribed.

Originally Posted by melanieb

Missing one can be a problem.

The menstrual cycle is complicated and can throw in a few surprises even when not on the pill. Using the pill to regulate it means you need to not only take the pill daily but take it close to the same time every day to be fully effective.

Missing even one dose can throw things off for a good bit depending where you are on your cycle. It's easy to forget to take one.

To illustrate this try taking one thing every day at the same time for a year. It doesn't matter if it's M&Ms, Tic-Tacs, Lifesavers...just something small that doesn't require chewing. How you achieve this doesn't matter...just try to keep up with it and take it within two hours (not later) of a certain time each day. See how well you make it.

BTW, I'm not saying taking birth control outside of a two-hour window will render it useless...just an illustration for taking the pill and keeping up with it as prescribed.

I am very much considering doing this now.

No, not just to prove people wrong. Also to possibly get rid of the part of me that says "Set a fucking alarm on your cell phone for it, keep some in your purse and car as well as home, fucking DO stuff to make sure you remember to take it".

If I were to do this with M&M's, how might I go about proving that I'm actually doing it at the proper time every day and not missing any?

You could create a free blog and post something on it every day at about the same time. One thing about birth control pills though, you can't keep some at home and some in your car etc - they give you a pack that's marked - a pill for each day.




As I understand it some are 'active' and some are placebos, just so you stay in the habit of taking them everyday I think. So, for example, you could post to a blog each day from various devices - home computer, cell phone, computer at a cybercafe etc, but it would be more realistic to always have to use the same device, to replicate always having to take pills from the same case. Not sure how you could prove all your posts are from the same device - though some blogs might stamp it saying what kind of device you used.

Well okay, then change "keep some in your purse/car" to "take the damn thing with you if you leave before the time you have to take it".

I'm thinking I could take a picture of myself with a written timestamp and then post it right away, so the timestamp in the picture matches the blog/thread/whatever's timestamp. Any problems with that?

Originally Posted by Savy

If an adult takes advantage of that inherent trust to take advantage of a child sexually-- can you think of anything more sickening?

The holocaust, world hunger, nuclear weapons, gangreen, cancer.

Originally Posted by Jookia

gangreen

Gangrene. Not the band.
Or the characters from Power Puff Girls.

Originally Posted by Jookia

The holocaust, world hunger, nuclear weapons, gangreen, cancer.

I think it's kind of absurd to attempt to compare levels of.."badness"(or whatever the hell you want to call it) when it's between things like disease and sexual abuse...

Originally Posted by Goliad

I think it's kind of absurd to attempt to compare levels of.."badness"(or whatever the hell you want to call it) when it's between things like disease and sexual abuse...

They asked if I could think of anything more sickening.

There are also hormonal implants that last three years. Getting a new implant once every three years shouldn't be a problem, even for a teen.

Originally Posted by khh

There are also hormonal implants that last three years. Getting a new implant once every three years shouldn't be a problem, even for a teen.

Would forcing people from 12-16 to get these be restricting freedom?
Or, at least, would it restrict freedom anymore than just telling them they can't have sex?

Originally Posted by Jesus of Suburbia

Would forcing people from 12-16 to get these be restricting freedom?
Or, at least, would it restrict freedom anymore than just telling them they can't have sex?

Yes, that would be horribly wrong. But offering them would be perfectly acceptable. One must expect people to take some responsibility for themselves, and there are no "one size fit's all" solutions.

More wrong than making them not do it?

Is it just me, or do people's hangups about sexuality stem mostly from their hangups about sex in general?

I mean, if sex is no big deal then who cares who you fuck?

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

You could create a free blog and post something on it every day at about the same time. One thing about birth control pills though, you can't keep some at home and some in your car etc - they give you a pack that's marked - a pill for each day.

As I understand it some are 'active' and some are placebos, just so you stay in the habit of taking them everyday I think. So, for example, you could post to a blog each day from various devices - home computer, cell phone, computer at a cybercafe etc, but it would be more realistic to always have to use the same device, to replicate always having to take pills from the same case. Not sure how you could prove all your posts are from the same device - though some blogs might stamp it saying what kind of device you used.

It's true that some are active and some are placebos. I take hormone replacement and mine are all active. Still, I've known plenty of people with marked packs with one pill for each day and they still forget pills quite easily.

Originally Posted by Jesus of Suburbia

Well okay, then change "keep some in your purse/car" to "take the damn thing with you if you leave before the time you have to take it".

I'm thinking I could take a picture of myself with a written timestamp and then post it right away, so the timestamp in the picture matches the blog/thread/whatever's timestamp. Any problems with that?

Here's the problem...even when setting an alarm every day (which I do) I'm not always able to immediately drop what I'm doing and take my pill. Sometimes I'm shopping, washing dishes, playing with kids, etc. This means I may forget sometimes. Others are the same.

You can't keep the pills in a car as the interior of a vehicle gets quite hot and can ruin medications. It's better to leave them in a climate-controlled location.


Despite all the best efforts and intentions it's not all that hard to forget a dose or two. I'm sure some people are better at this than others.

Assuming you wake up the same time every morning (which you should, a regular sleep schedule is good for you), why not take it right when you get up?

Also, don't take my constant questions as "I'm trying hard to find a way to prove you wrong", I'm genuinely curious as to why these things would or would not work.

I take my morning pills at 11:30 A.M. or as close as I can. This usually allows me to sleep late and take them or wake earlier and get some food in me first. Most things work better with food in you.

I always take my night pill around 11:30 P.M. to midnight.


I'm not worried or bothered by questions. I've been online long enough to even take direct insults easily.

Ask all the questions you wish and please discuss openly.

From what I understand most of these pills work by changing a womans hormones. One reason why these pills dont always work is because theres lots of other things that can change your hormones.....In otherwords, every woman I know who uses pills eventually gets pregnant. Its only a matter of time.

I don't figure the issue of the pill even applies to the previous discussion which was teenagers - if a condom isn't good enough for them i figure they're asking too much