Thread: Would you change yourself for your partner?

Let's looks at another example

Is it justifiable to require a man to change his clothing style from this



to this?



Cmind brought up that good change comes from within, but honestly anyone who wants to pick up chicks is better off dropping the sweatpants. But what should he replace them with? I want to say "his inner style" but that's sort of vague. It should obviously be a style he's comfortable in, but I mean what style is more comfortable then sweatpants?

What if you usually dress like this



and a girl you're into likes guys that dress like this?



The question then, it seems, is why you were dressing like a hippy to begin with, and why you don't dress like a hipster. And if the girl feels important enough, perhaps the question is really important. But if she isn't comfortable with the style you already have, then the socially correct response would be that she wasn't worth it to begin with. But what isn't worth it, really? The girl, or your dumbass dreads? And why did you grow the fuckers in the first place?

A lot of the decisions that make up our identity just seem arbitrary. A lot of the time, we dress that way because everybody was dressing that way we surrounded ourselves. In fact it seems dress code is directly linked to the type of music you listen to, much of the time.

So bringing it a step further, a lot of our behavior was also arbitrary. In fact for most of us it seems like we molded our behavior around the expectations of others, primarily our parents but also our peer group. And from this standpoint, the whole idea that you should be yourself without compromising loses its value. Be what? The expectations that you decided to please before you met other people? Why not let them change you a little, too?

If I like a girl and she hikes like 10 miles a day, I'd give that a fucking shot. And maybe it's just too much for me, but I like hiking 4 miles a day so at first it'd seem like she's pushing me into a better version of what I already want to be. But maybe 4 miles is already the best version of myself I care to be and by becoming a 10 mile hiker I'd have to turn into some crazy enthusiast giving up a lot of vices that make me who I am. But why not give up those vices? Yeah, you're losing your identity, but your gaining a healthier one. Not necessarily a better one, for all I know, those extra 6 miles a day might turn me into a total dick. Maybe 4 miles is all I can handle before I start thinking my shit smells too sweet for all you lazy assholes. But I love hiking so I ought to want somebody that pushes me to do more of what I love, correct? But maybe I already push myself the perfect amount, as it is. Maybe there's a 4 miler out there and we can just hang together. Maybe it'll be another 5 years before I find her and in the mean time I should try to make it work with the 10 miler. Maybe I should say "fuck off I'll meet you at the bottom" and hang with her without pushing myself to be more like her. Maybe if I keep writing this shit I'll confuse myself and I should shut up.