Totems are totally fictional, although yes, I'm guessing that they're based off RCs.
The issue with using a totem as an RC is that if you were dreaming, you probably wouldn't be carrying it around with you unless you've been holding it in real life for years, similar to how we wear clothing in our dreams because it's a part of our lifestyle. There's the issue with summoning it; if you're not fully confident that you could be dreaming, you won't be able to get it to appear. Even if you were confident, there's the chance that the specific dream you're in will not co-operate. And if you've already summoned it, then there's no need to use the totem from that point on, since you already used dream control to get the object to appear.
Along with this, objects (including "totems") can act totally normal in dreams. Around a year ago I spun a spinning top (well, more like a blue dreidel), and it fell over after I watched it for only a few seconds.
Using one to see if you're in someone else's dream (if you believe in shared dreaming), well, I'm guessing there wouldn't be much of a difference in how it behaves. Both your dream, and the other persons' dream essentially run on expectations, so if you expect the totem to act like you're still in your own dream, it will. If you expect it to act like you're in someone else's dream, it can do that too. Remember that
Inception's storyline and dream systems don't rely on expectations, and instead more realistic, plausible scenarios.
Your best bet is just doing the nose-plug RC.

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