Thread: Lucidity vs Cohesiveness

In my dream, I was engaged in a convoluted domestic conspiracy drama. I realized I tend to rewind certain parts of the dream when I feel the scene hasn't progressed as it should, and I reflected on the level of lucidity required to do that, and I thought how this lucidity and the control I have over rewinding the dream are not equivalent to lucid dreams I count as lucid dreams. I wondered if people I know in waking life who say they lucid dream constantly are talking about that kind of passive lucidity which I am exhibiting now, because despite it all, I consciously fail to think about the task of the year and instead go back to the conspiracy drama, the lucidity completely gone, except that conscious entity busied with understanding the drama. My mind is present watching my conversation with the mother. "Oh no, she's in on it." Now, I view the son downstairs with his swords and anger. "He is impulsive, on the bad side" Many characters merge towards me, in particular the son. "Impulsive + angry = immediate confrontation" but no, we welcome each other warmly, the scene half hidden behind doorways and walls. "What?" We are now enjoying a bath in an underground spa. "Oh, this must be the twin brother with whom I have bonded earlier in the dream" and so on.

And this is what my mind was busy doing: making sense of the nonsense. Rewinding when I fail to make sense, continuing if I can explain the unexpected twist. Even my mind realized, I must understand on some level I am dreaming to be able to interact with my experience in such a way... yet, still failing to become lucid...

I write down this dream here to remind myself of this behaviour I have. Today, I'm thinking it's hurting my lucidity although I'm not definitively sure. I think maybe my need for a cohesive story, that need to feel like I understand my experience, that need for sense, order, control... It captures my mind's attention so completely. It keeps me in the non-lucid dream, trying to fix every plot hole. But dreams are not movies. It's normal that they don't make sense. At the end, there were no definitive set of characters in this dream with definitive intentions. There was no foundation for a real conspiracy story. Just ideas of "good guys" vs "bad guys", "manipulation", "betrayal", "revenge"...

Am I wasting my dream time, trying to dream cohesive stories?

If yes, what should I do? I'm thinking, in my next visualizations of lucid dreaming, I will practice inhabiting non-cohesive stories and guiding my way not with cohesiveness but with lucidity (this is in my mind). Can I even fight this impulse? We'll see...